I've been reading and listening and watching Gabor for years but now that I'm at a place where I have to consciously chose between Authenticity and Attachement, it really feels like torture. I guess I have always unconsciously chosen attachement but now I know better and it feels like authenticity is pulling me in it's direction/upwards whereas attachement wants to keep me to the ground. I can't be kept down anymore but boy oh boy does it feel awful to let go of attachement...

What I think is great is that “autonomy vs. attachment” has been replaced by “authenticity vs. attachment”. Authenticity and attachment are not contradictions to me. When we remain authentic, we form healthy bonds. These give us closeness and freedom.

Acknowledging your most profound and persistent questions opens the door to authenticity, life/truth/being awake to itself through you. When you find yourself fully present-alive/present and attentive/alert, yet not thinking, sensing, dreaming, remembering, or feeling-what remains? What are you? What is life? What is alive, true and present, even when attention fades and turns off? What is realized is what is true, present, alive in everyone and everything, even if it’s not yet realized through them.

I would so much like to get involved in Open Dialogue, advocating for the approach, being involved myself in it, etc. It's so powerful and hopeful.

Témoignage très intéressant et enrichissant. Merci !

When I was 25 (about 8 years ago now), I had to deal with the fact that I was not being my authentic self with my family, my friends, or even my girlfriend at that time. It took a lot of courage to change that by getting a job outside of my home state of 20 years, breaking up with my dying relationship, and standing up to my mother for how she talked to me (albeit long distance so it was easier for me). This all resulted in me becoming very alone as I expected as people did not like finding out the "real" me and what I wanted. If I hadn't found my girlfriend (now wife) during that time, I'm not sure I'd be typing this comment right now. I had gone through such a heaping amount of rejection that I anticipated would happen, but somehow I persevered. Now I find myself having to grow on my own a lot. Learning to deal with conflicts and these unstable feelings has been an uphill battle, but I have zero regrets for finding my authentic self and I stand by my actions 8 years later even if I would have done some things differently.

I watched this video in 2019, agreed with it but in the Corporate world, with being politically correct, have to be dressed in a certain way, speak in a certain way, not being able to express your feelings freely, made me feel that I was loosing myself. Recently just started to go back to my origins and started to feel like myself again, better, happier. Watched this video again and everything he said IT’S TRUE. Whatever you’re more inclined to do and be it’s what you literally should be and do. As long as you’re harming yourself nor anyone by any mean’s. The earlier you discover this the happier you’ll be. Thank you Mr. Gabor Maté.

truth spoken

He always comes across as sanctimonious...what a liar!

When formal psychological therapies actually traumatize you further you KNOW the systems fkd. They know its fkd too... but im kind of sick of being made to feel like im the only one with a problem coz you can clearly see these people built entire identities out of a career spawned from their own weird issues. Im just kind of trying to help myself by myself now. And thats cool coz im finally actually getting somewhere... but far far more painfully than it ought to have been so cheers, psych dudes.

Much more about Adam in Borges and Tomlinson's movie "Crazywise"

I love this person - truth

Great Show

Admiro profundamente a Gabor Maté... Lo escucharía siempre!!

Blunt authenticity is always misunderstood. It should be combined with kindness and compassion.

Thank you for sharing!

It is impossible to speak from Russia, though I have publications about 0/0 crimes 0/0 of so called psychiatrists 0/0 Minimum 0/0 scale to explain what is happening 0/0 No energy to write 0/0

I learned so much from this man I feel like I found the best therapist in the world!

I was raised in a cult. This is without a doubt the most difficult issue I still deal with. Not having the freedom to even develop a proper personal identity by family and an entire community is so brutal.

This spoke to me so much

Profound.

Thanks Gabor 🙏

I must be the only one who has no idea what the hell this man is talking about. I'm a psychology graduate, so I have a great understanding of many topics, but this literally sounds like gibberish. No child knows who they are yet. That doesn't come until you're an adult. Our parents are meant to guide us along the way. What are they teaching parents and children these days? What a bunch of BS! This man is full of it!

Great documentary: backed up by experts, experiences, statistics and cultures. Great storytelling too! Thank you so much for this creation and for sharing it. Sure it'll bring hope and guidance to the "broken" ones (the "rare" wizers).

This is brilliant

🥵 dude

I still get treared like that by those in my life now.😢

Grew up as a male INTJ during the 90's. This video speaks to me... I had to basically learn masking/acting until my teens to "fit in". After 15 or so I just gave up. Or rather I just got fed up with the BS. The cost of authenticity is steep; prepare yourself for a life of standing alone, even without friends or family. Workplace relations will most likely suffer as well. Society at the time of this writing is more judgmental than ever.

I wish my dad could’ve been even a little bit like this. I continue to pay with my life for choosing to be authentic instead of placating them for conditional love. The silence, the withholding, the groundhog day inauthentic interactions on an infinite loop. They insisted on making all life meaningless with me.

Best place to be a schizophrenic is in Africa or India? Please, you really don’t want to be a schizophrenic in one of those countries. Nice to be a schizophrenic in war torn Sudan. Good luck with that

Beautiful explanation of how Advaita Vedanta has given many of us freedom from the profound psychological suffering that comes with being unable to live up to the rigid expectations of our modern social structures. 🙏🏼

😌✨💜🙏🫶

I heard voices for a time while meditating. They said, "pray, meditate, eat good food, drink good water, wake up early, work your body, wash your clothes by hand. Stay humble, calm and focused. Stay kind. Write, speak, sing with your heart."

If you ever experience hearing voices, here are some evaluating criteria for telepathy-related voice hearing: 1. Receiving messages unrelated to your thoughts or experiences. 2. Voices discussing unfamiliar topics, indicating access to knowledge beyond your own. 3. Distinct character and tone of each voice, suggesting separate entities or sources. 4. Similar messages or themes reported by other voice hearers, potentially indicating a shared source or phenomenon. 5. Voices providing information or insights that prove accurate or verifiable. 6. Experiencing voices in multiple locations or situations, suggesting a non-environmental source. 7. Voices commenting on your thoughts or actions in real-time, indicating potential mind-reading. 8. Feeling a sense of mental or emotional connection to the voices or their messages. 9. Experiencing other paranormal phenomena, such as precognitive dreams or telepathic interactions with others. Did you know that nearly 1 in 7 people worldwide have experienced hearing voices at least once in their lifetime? While only a small percentage (2-3%) of these individuals will receive a schizophrenia diagnosis, it's essential to explore alternative explanations for these experiences. Before turning to conventional medical approaches, consider seeking guidance from a wise Shaman or Native elder, who may offer a more holistic understanding of your experiences. Be cautious of the conventional medical route, as it may lead to a prescription for antipsychotic drugs, which can have severe and debilitating side effects. These drugs can cause significant weight gain, brain shrinkage, increased risk of heart disease, and a range of other issues, including emotional numbing, sexual dysfunction, and even lactation in males. If the voices you hear aren't intrusive, critical, or encouraging harmful behavior, chances are you're not in harm's way. In fact, hearing voices can be a relatively common aspect of the human experience. Who hasn't heard their name called when no one's around? Many people have had this experience. If you do hear voices, try writing down what they say and explore meditation practices to cultivate a clear and open mind. From personal experience, I've found that telepathic communication can take many forms - words, images, and emotions - and can occur in the stillness of the forest or the comfort of your own home. Telepathic messages are often brief, direct, and accompanied by profound emotions. Remember, seeking truth and understanding is a personal journey. Approach it with an open heart and mind, and don't be afraid to explore unconventional wisdom. Good luck on your path of discovery!

<3100%./\.:-*xxxxxx

Therapy, when done right, can be very powerful. 🙏💖🌄

❤

Gabor has opened up a big can of healing on me and my family. I'm buying 'The myth of normal' for my mother and father for Xmas. Attachment was denied for me due to trauma (a rancorous divorce and subsequent abandonment of the children by both parents). Authenticity is my tool, I'm having conversations with my Mum. I believe in her, that she can overcome this pain. My Dad I'm not so sure but I'm going to try anyway.

REMEMBER: Your parents push your buttons because they're the ones that installed them, in the first damn place! AND... Loss of UNHEALTHY relationships is (often) the cost of authenticity and RADICAL HONESTY. That’s why courage and bravery are such a huge part of standing in your truth! SO, He's abusive? He's unavailable? He's a fantasy and an illusion? Well then... You two do NOT have a relationship with EACH OTHER. You have a relationship with each other's unhealed traumas! Signs You're Healing from Trauma: 1. LIFE: No longer black and white, but grey. 2. A natural desire to care for your body. 3. Eating becomes regulated. 4. Less binging on distractions, social media, TV, tech, etc. 5. No longer tempted to hide the truth. More comfortable being more honest. 6. Work life begins to get better. More engaged with career, more aware of what you need. 7. Lose interest in assigning blame to self/others/traumas/past 8. Attraction to unavailable partners is gone. You recognize your worth. 9. Prefer reality to fantasy. 10. Financial success and freedom The above being said, I'm nowhere near being healed I want to die I'm in hell no escape I am raped and I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die I CANNOT WAIT TO DIE I'M IN HELL WITH NO ESCAPE THERE'S NO ESCAPE FROM THE SUFFERING 45 years of hell and torment and torture and soul-rape and suffering I'm in hell my soul is raped I wish for nothing other than death but... what if the afterlife is worse than this life? that thought paralyzes me with breathless terror I CANNOT WAIT TO DIE, nonetheless I've been in hell for 45 years, I can no longer bear it This will seem random, but... I need help I need unbiased advice please, if you're reading this, and you feel called to respond to this comment, I'm open to hearing from anyone who has something to share... I have been plagued with an awful dilemma I have been ruminating and obsessing over this for over 8 months now I had a therapist an AWFUL AWFUL AWFUL therapist the absolute worst of the worst instead of helping me and healing me he damaged me and traumatized me but I was too traumatized to do anything about it, at the time I basically saw him for all of 2023 then I KNEW I could NEVER see him again HE'S AWFUL but... he's also somehow wildly successful and I can file a formal complaint but if I do this I must do it soon the filing seems like a long and arduous process and in the end, it's his word against mine... I also don't know if I reap any particular benefits? except he may get somewhat reprimanded and I may get to speak up and use my voice I don't know what to do I must make a decision soon thoughts, anyone?

Raised as a Jehovah’s Witness, so… Already screwed. Raised by two extremely narcissistic parents divorced when I was eight years old and used the children as leverage asking us “ whose side are you on ?“ At 51 years old, the struggle is harder than it’s ever been. I hate this world, this man-made world. Love nature and every chance I get, I try to get out into nature. I work a very physical trade in my bodies breaking down because I failed to plan properly because I don’t value myself. In fact, I hate myself to the core and think of suicide every day sometimes every hour. I call myself a coward for not following through with it but I think I just gotta finish this project I’m on and then I can take care of it. And now we live in a uncaring, unloving world, polarized by religion and politics, like never before! I have to try to find a way to leave this world without putting a rope around my neck or inhaling helium with a bag over my head but I don’t see any way out. I’m using this platform to just vent and I hope you don’t mind but if you do, I don’t have my comments turned on anyways. I wish this world love in peace, but I’m out of here! At the same time, Goodbye, cruel world !!!!!

We guide our children while allowing them to create their lives In hopes they won’t have to recreate their lives later on

🙏🙏

For me it wasn't so much the parental attachment I was scared of losing, it was my social attachments. As a brown kid growing up in an almost all-white place I intuitively knew I was different, even though I wasn't bullied or made to feel different, I just knew. So I did what I had to do to fit in/adapt as much as possible, I was scared to stand out more than I already did. I'm 48 and still trying to figure out my authenticity and how to express it without worrying what other people think. I admire people who seem to be so comfortable with themselves, even when they're grating personalities I sense their authenticity and can't help but be attracted to it.

is there a full interview I can find or is this part of the film? i find his sharing fascinating :)

I think some reptiles who give live birth have been observed to demonstrate rudimentary kin-relationship structures, though obviously not to the same level as taxa with tended offspring. While this isn't particularly relevant to the way Dr Mate seeks to explore human attachment dynamics and associated trauma, research into these more primitive kinship structures may be an avenue for even more nuanced understanding of mechanics which may be involved. Egg tending behaviour, as well, to the level of maternal self-sacrifice in the case of octopuses might be another avenue to explore alternative attachment mechanics which fall outside of this model. Octopuses do seem to form attachments to individual humans and demonstrate behaviours which suggest relatively complex emotionality as part of that interaction - despite lacking the foundational offspring-parent dynamic which underpins this theory. I don't think this undermines the core mechanics for this model (which are imo robust and sensible) but might suggest some other dynamic forces at play within more complex cognitions which influence the interplay of object, self, and other. If nothing else, it's interesting, and makes me feel there are some aspects of intra/interpersonal connection which may be less straightforward, less concrete, and more abstract than we think. Edit: and then there's ants and bees of course. And jellyfish. And plants. And particles... and everything really. Gravity is something. Electromagnetism. Time. I wish I could look at something as sensible as this and take it at face value, fit for purpose, but it's difficult to square it all and underline an answer.

That's why ''it takes a village to raise a child''.

Hi Sandra, Rahila here :-), it's an honour to connect with you here maam. :-). I love your video, thank you for sharing. I'm a newly awakening soul, who resides in the west, so Shamanic healing has been a catch up for me consciously. Nonetheless i'm really pleased my higher team and God put me on to it last year, and that I listened to their intuitive guidance and followed it up through self-learning. Since then, i've been totally hooked. Completely fascinated and in awe of the light side of Shamanic healing. :-). The child in me feels like she's breathing fresh air, or coming up to the surface from the depths of a dark deep ocean... Personally, my humble opinion is, Shamanic Healing should be incorporated into mainstream healing, whatever spiritual path any genuine soul chooses to take. With all the misery and catastrophe on our Earth realm, I personally feel if Shamanic Healing does become part of global normality in future centuries, this realm will be so much better off. A lot more zen, everyone will be more interconnected and joyful! :-). Hopefully in a better position to assend to higher celestial realms following their Earth lives, more quickly and effectively. Anyway, i'll be having Shamanic healing next year, and i am absolutely excited! :-). With light work Shamanic Healing, i've read nothing but inspiring information. I can't wait to be part of the presently elite high-flying client population!!! :-) :-). I have realistic expectations (since i've calmed down sufficently from the hype LOL), so all my rose-tinted romantic notions of my lifestyle beyond the healing work have vannished. I'm just looking forward to having former Rahila's spirit back, and making the best of her here at school, for my own holistic development and to serve God in my best way ever. Despite my present additional need (I chose to experience a big chunk of this lifetime with blindness) despite that for the moment, I have faith that Shamanic Healing will be one of those expeirences which I can access and make the best of. Regarding your viewpoint regarding spiritual healing practices, I reckon quantum Hypnosis and clinical hypnosis should be up there with the top ten practices. I'd also add: transpersonal psychology and chacra yoga. :-). Anyway thank you again for caring and sharing with us ordinary folk LOL, and well done maam. You're doing a sterling job out here, keep being true to yourself and your business will continue to thrive, I guarantee that! Big hug. Love, Rahila, one of your avid listeners. xxx

I see now after watching this that it was posted 7 years ago. I have clinical depression and ADD diagnosis. I am a huge fan of Gabor Mate. I read his book and listen to his views on addiction all the time. In my own journey, what I find interesting is the way in which my views changed. From being a militant atheist pushing away everything that seemed pseudo, to be being extremely spiritual due to seeing, hearing and experiencing reality differently.

No thoughts no feelings.

Keep talking Let the truth be known. Thank good a voice for the powerless.