30. Surviving Gender Malpractice: Brian’s Detransition Story

Ten years ago, at the tender age of 21, Brian needed professional help. He’d been severely bullied as a child, and the messages his father modeled about masculinity didn’t help Brian understand himself or accept his homosexuality. As a tormented young adult, Brian turned to drugs and pornography in futile efforts to escape his depression. A good therapist would have recognized that Brian had a lot to unpack, and made it a priority to help him get off of the drugs that were clearly wreaking havoc on his health and mental clarity. Unfortunately, Brian didn’t have a good therapist; he had… a “gender therapist.”
Brian’s therapist didn’t challenge his drug use, unpack his internalized homophobia, or address his childhood trauma. Instead, she led him deeper into the delusion that he was really a woman trapped in a man’s body, an idea he had gotten from pornography during a very dark time in life. She made dangerous and destructive false promises that taking cross-sex hormones would magically resolve his drug addiction and suicidal ideation. She told him that his body’s own natal hormones were “poison.” Brian even felt that his therapist instilled a sense of urgency, indicating that if he didn’t transition as quickly as possible, he would feel worse, and that taking these life-altering medical steps was the only way to remedy his despair.
Social and medical transition were never right for Brian. He was simply a gay man with depression, trauma, and addiction issues, who was overwhelmed by his problems, and didn’t know what narrative to ascribe to them other than what people on the internet led him to believe during a particularly dark time. He knows this now, and has a good therapist, thank heavens. But a year after making the decision to detransition, his body is still in the process of ridding itself of pregnancy-high levels of female hormones.
At times we go into graphic detail, so this episode may not be suitable for all listeners. This is heavy stuff to listen to, but I hope that Brian’s courage in opening up so candidly is helpful to anyone who can relate to his experience, or who cares about the issues impacting people like Brian.
Brian is a native Californian who had the misfortune of getting wrapped up in drug abuse and gender ideology in his early 20s. Upon getting off drugs, Brian realized he was not trans, and learned to accept himself as a gay male. Brian has decided to speak out about his experience, in the hope of saving somebody from making the same mistakes. You can follow him on Twitter @BriWag91.
Today’s episode addresses the painful topic of gender malpractice. Brian is one of numerous people I have interviewed on this show who has been horrendously mistreated by the mental and medical health professionals that were responsible for his care. If you’re familiar with my work then you know I am passionate about this issue. What you may not know is that I am actively working on developing other resources for detransitioners like Brian. On my blog you will find letter exchanges with detransitioners and an invitation to participate in these types of exchanges with me, toward the creation of a self-help book I am writing for survivors of gender malpractice. You will also find information about how to file a complaint about a “gender-affirming therapist” if you have been harmed. Please check out these projects and more resources for survivors of gender malpractice on my blog at sometherapist.com/read.
Links:
Blog: www.sometherap...
Detrans Survival Guide: www.sometherap...
How to File a Complaint About the Fraudulent ‘Gender-Affirming’ Therapy That Harmed You: www.sometherap...
Twitter for Brian: @BriWag91
The Transition Channel: / thetransitionchannel
If you enjoyed this conversation, please rate & review it on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Share this episode with a friend, or on social media. You can also head over to my KZbin channel, subscribe, like, comment, & share there as well.
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Be sure to check out my shop. In addition to wellness products, you can now find my favorite books!
MUSIC: Special thanks to Joey Pecoraro for our theme song, “Half Awake,” used with gratitude and permission. www.joeypecoraro.com
PRODUCTION: Thanks to Eric and Amber Beels at DifMix.com

[@toddness305]

KZbin needs more of these detransition stories to prevent these horrific outcomes.

[@clairehann2681]

There are new ones every week

[@DougVandegrift]

Trans community thinks all these detrans videos is some kind of anti trans agenda

[@SydneyBristow0788]

Check out Boyce of Reason Podcast. He has detransitioners on.

[@patrickdalton2424]

100%

[@sharoncravenor2226]

I share each and every one I can and share!

[@kevincurrie-knight3267]

What this woman (who Brian saw for therapy) reminds me of is the therapists in the 1990's who were active in getting people to 'recover' their 'repressed memories' - what we now know was kin to a witch hunt. Reports say that many of those therapists simply went in assuming that any distress clients came to them with must owe to repressed memories. So, they'd directly and indirectly suggest to these clients that they must have repressed memories, and surprise: this would effectively implant the idea into the clients. So, what all of this tells me is that when therapists come in with a reductionistic theory that x is the root of distress, distress will be interpreted as proof of x. And when the therapist tells this to the client - who is coming to them precisely because they aren't sure what is going wrong - the client will tend to believe them and reinterpret themselves to fit the therapist's recommended narrative. To be honest, psychology and counseling has had this potential problem at least since Freud.

[@QHarbin]

I had the same association. The "repressed memories" therapists created so much pain for patients- they now identified as victims of horrific abuse. And that pain spread to the people they falsely accused of assaulting them before they could remember. Gender therapists are also not doing "real" therapy. Real therapy does not have a foregone conclusion. Sad thing is, it is extremely difficult to question the gender affirmative model- you will be attacked and dismissed as transphobic.

[@theharshtruthoutthere]

@@QHarbin No soul amongst us was ever created "wrongly". Too long time spend behind TV and computer screens and among the people can ruin your mind. - It is long forgotten saying, but accurate no matter the age nor decade. Every living soul needs time to time ALONE TIME.

[@obinwataje]

Deprgramming a system of multiple personalities involves a light hypnosis to find buried trauma or really sexual abuse in 100% of cases. Often comorbidities that push people to dissociate and believe themselves to be a different sex are based on repressed memories of sexual abuse that they eventually may or may not remember. We live in a world of sexual violence including trafficking and prostitution of children but we live in denial about the extent of these crimes based on sexual abuse. Sooner or later we need to come out of denial and stop the global violence against children.

[@khmanuel]

Yes. My family lived through that witch hunt. It only stopped when the lawsuits started. But for us, things will never be right.

[@Knuck_Knucks]

Wow. Plenty to digest here. . Thanks for sharing Brian . Peace be with you.

[@bobvagene]

There is a certain raw, piercing self awareness that Brian has. It's a trait as a former addict, that I recognize in others almost instantly. While we had very different life paths, I'm sure we share a similar story. Good luck to you Brian! I'm happy you seem to be in a more grounded stage of life.

[@Florida_Woman]

I’ve heard this story over and over and over! These gender therapists are evil. Thank you for your openness and your honesty. This was a really important interview.

[@megankwisdom]

Yes, completely agree with Brian that the preventive measures we need to take to help kids are one) get them off social media, like entirely, and two) get them involved in some kind of hobby that does not involve a screen and preferably one that is physical or outdoors, but even if they don't like those kinds of things, having them get involved with a creative hobby is good too. Just something to get them, like Brian said, out of their mind and into their body, to allow their brains to relax bc that's the one thing constant bombardment of social media will not allow.

[@SydneyBristow0788]

I think we all need to get off the screens. And yes, I appreciate the irony of me typing this message to you from my little phone screen. 😆😅

[@CrakenFlux]

HOW ABOUT REAL WORK?

[@ruthtirado2750]

This guy is so freaking awesome! And honest! What a great interview! So happy he came to himself! He’s a good guy.

[@nowwhat1434]

I like how you just let him talk. Brian is a good interview.

[@tummelplatz763]

These stories are so important. Thank you!

[@panninggazz5244]

Thank you for this. There is great concern that detrans people are being used by religious extremists. This thing is getting more heated by the week and your channel is appreciated. And, Dude, you look great!!

[@andreaberryman5354]

No-not "using" them. All that is going on is a push to bring BACK the rigerous process one goes through before even being considered for SRS, including HRT not BEING handed out like candy, and children NEVER recieving any "gender" care. No kids, several years to be considered. Was always that way. It's distrust of the fast-track "gender clinic" and chemical castration drugs being given to kids. It's people being demonized for drawing a line because things are out of control.

[@SydneyBristow0788]

How are religious extremists using them? Do you have something I can google?

[@ther3]

Yo can use so many things in a bad or good way to suppprt your believes. It doesnt Matter. People believed that 4 shots Will prevent the spread of a virus. It wasnt true but western dictatorship ruled by madness lasted 2 years . This story is real. The way people use it is another thing

[@ruthtirado2750]

I guess you think that because they’re obviously being hated and shunned by their own community. We all get to choose the extremest group we affiliate with…God’s or satans.

[@QHarbin]

I wish we knew more about how to effectively help young people who struggle with gender issues, particularly when they become connected to online trans information and trans forums. It seems like if we do anything but "affirm" their transgender identity, we are characterized as transphobic and dismissed.

[@marybernstein6498]

Thank God Brian you did not have reassignment surgery! Prayers for you and wonderful you are sharing your experience.

[@oliverhug3]

Unlike Shape Shifter and Richie Herron.

[@danajacobs9097]

​@@oliverhug3I love both of them and feel so bad.

[@kchart47]

Brian you are a very brave, inspiring and good person! It breaks my heart to know that for so long you went around thinking you were not worthy of all the love in the world (specially self-love). Take good care of yourself, don’t look back on mistakes (we all make them!), don’t overthink, find joy in the small things. Thank you for your share.

[@freddieoblivion6122]

There are 2 tragedies in life: 1. Not getting what you want. 2. Getting it.

[@awomanperiod.9507]

Thank you, thank you, thank you. We need many more of these testimonials. Have you seen IsaacUncooked video of him confronting his therapist? Riveting.

[@lati_da]

Thank you for sharing your story Brian, and being so open about your journey.

[@startraveler3157]

There was a war inside your soul. It was the man inside you trying to break free and live like you were created to be. You had the courage to break free. Honor and respect to you BROTHER!

[@MochiKoo1108]

I want to thank you for all that you do. So many of us know of someone who is going through this and who has experienced gac clincs and now are afraid to put our trust into a therapist that may be push a woke agenda. Trusting a therapist with a loved one is very difficult esp these days. If you have any resources to possibly help to find a prof, ethical therapist in a certain area would be very helpful. I'm not sure if there are any resources for those of us who have experienced a situation like I mentioned? Either way, please keep doing what you're doing as it helps more than you know. Thank you.

[@lydiasinclair1126]

Thank you so much for being so honest and willing to talk about this honestly. This is such a tragic epidemic we are living with right now. Our youth are so maliable and easily manipulated into ideologies. Just look at any cult. Most children raised in a cult will stay and be true belivers. Where as getting in as an adult you might have a better chance at getting out.

[@bulkchart3239]

another great interview! thumbs up

[@shweefranglais7900]

One positive and slightly amusing aspect of the trans thing is that parents are now heaving a sigh of relief if their son or daughter comes out to them as gay. Before the trans thing it was a massive issue .Now many are hugging their child and exclaiming "Oh thank God ; i thought when you said you had something to tell me you were going to tell me you were changing gender. Gay/ lesbian ? Oh is that all it is ? That's such a relief ( I'm sure they are relieved as a parent that you are not going to undergo irreversible changes that you may come to regret in the future , and possibly also suffer severe health problems from these interventions which are largely just experimental and untested in relation to their long term effects )

[@MadelaineGerman]

Thank you for your bravery 🌷 both of you!

[@Masr96]

Really appreciate this podcast, esp being in the helping profession 💗💎

[@47ccarte]

Brian, if you’re reading this, I want you to know that putting your story out like this is f’ng incredible and THIS is true bravery. I hope that everyone that has a similar story/experience to yours can see this and gets inspired to muster the courage and strength to get their story out as well. I wish you the very best and I can guarantee you that now that you have found your center and are operating from a place of true self, your life will only continue to get better. I’ve worked with addicts (as an addict in recovery, myself) for the last 9 years and I tell them this all the time; once you step to the other side of this (addiction or any other struggle), life is still life, meaning we’re still going to have bad days and go through tough times, but not only are we more capable of handling those moments in a healthy way, but the good days are just that much better, and it’s just simply the truth. I hope you are well and that you realize that you can put all of this behind you and move forward into the life you’re supposed to be living.

[@lamodernista]

Brian's "K.D. Lang" comment was accurate..I see the resemblance!

[@Sageautomatic]

This young man is very brave. So candid, i hope his honesty is treated with respect and not judgment. He has told us some incredibly personal things. Thank you for sharing your story

[@hydraxisfrimon9785]

If I was a profiler, how Brian describes his younger self would fit the typical profile for someone going through this, have heard so many people relate this history online now - reinforcement of stereotypes during childhood, resulting trauma and dissociation, massive confusion and aberrant behaviour/suicidal ideation as they try to resolve the issues, not finding a suitable therapist. And he even recognises that had he got into some healthier activities, taking him away from the online environment and doing some physical exercise, he would have been in a better frame of mind. He might even have met up with the group of gay guys to be friends with earlier to help him realise how he really felt about himself and his own sexuality. Parents who impress stereotypical behaviour on their children are not doing them any favours, the child is their own separate person and not a means of the parents reliving their lives. And children need to be reassured that what they can achieve in life is not dependent on what they look like. Wish Brian all the best, he has been through a lot. Let us hope that with wider understanding of these issues, people will not be pushed to extremes in order to recognise themselves in the mirror.

[@experiencemystique4982]

A figure of dad ? He felt rejected in every row, not enough male, abandoned, and the indoctrination received??.? Easy target for Propaganda. Definition of demagoguery. Prosélytisme.

[@aceee4386]

Stephanie really validated Brian and put into a nutshell what he tragically experienced as a child up into adulthood.

[@emd1494]

Not going to lie I was a lil uncomfortable.. but I think that made the message more powerful. I appreciate this person being so open about everything, it could save someone else going through the same.

[@sw6155]

Clearly this dude ain’t that interested in men that much either… People need to remember there’s nothing wrong with celibacy!! When I was in HS, I was happy being celibate, much happier than all my peers who were sexually active & miserable… You don’t have to be celibate forever, unless you choose to for religious reasons… I eventually decided to accept the courtship of a dashing man and now I’m a married mother of 2, but when we were introduced, I was looking forward to becoming a contemplative nun… I was investigating the different orders and what not… Celibacy is just as good for body & mind! I highly recommend!!!

[@istherenooneleft]

Not having sex in highschool is normal. I would not correlate not having sex with happiness. Nothing wrong with not rushing to have sex until you’re ready, but just because you don’t do it a lot or haven’t at all for whatever reason doesn’t mean you’re meant to be celibate

[@patrickdalton2424]

Thank you for sharing your story brian. Its so sad😢 i can relate i use to believe i was a woman on the inside and was born in the wrong body. I felt bad for years because i didnt have the courage to transition and was worried about hurting and losing my family and friends i then over time began to resent my family and friends and believed that i was suffering because of society's bigotry. Thanks to you and other detransitioners I've learned that i was never a woman. I was a man with both feminine and masculine side and also a bisexual autogyniphille. I had shame and guilt and internalised homophobia due to my dressing and desires. I've excepted myself for who i am now and feel so much lighter and happier. I still dress up in feminine clothes from time to time for fun but i am under no illusions i know I'm a man with a kink and a fetish. But i also know i need to dress up to relieve pressure cause if i don't over time i get stressed and irritable and dressing up brings me calm and peace. It just makes me feel like I've got a hug from a woman i love. It gives me a release of oxytocin

[@rvastrik]

You are honest with yourself and others, and this is very important for keeping close relationships alive and for your own emotional well-being and inner freedom.

[@monicacollins8289]

The therapist he saw was/is a predator. I've heard the phrase " homophobes try to trans the gay away", instead of acknowledging and embracing just being gay.

[@plantsntrance5513]

Thanks for this interview 👌 loved hearing him talk

[@j.ahlberg2058]

He seems so kind.

[@rvastrik]

This so-called therapist is an incredible person. Who in reality is an activist social worker. Recommends hormones. Makes an injection. Communicates familiarly with the customer on social media. This kind of activity has nothing to do with therapy.

[@janehartman6871]

Apparently, there have been a few parent suicides who have children who has adopted the trans ideology. It is truly heartbreaking.

[@daisymae3258]

These ‘gender therapists’ have their own trauma/issues that they will not address. Instead they focus on “fixing” others with trauma/issues.

[@winros]

These doctors are no different than doctor Josef Mengele! Experimenting on our young'uns!

[@jeniferm9095]

How are you as a therapist allowed to avoid the gender issues in therapy that the government and WPATH are forcing upon your profession? Or in other words, thank you for doing your job.

[@dumbbunny9178]

I take spironolactone for PCOS, it’s the only thing that’s helped with reducing facial and body hair, body acne etc. It really does wonders for PCOS, I didn’t know they used it for trans woman.

[@ludlowworthington697]

Really tragic story. Glad the guest is sober and no longer delusional with still potentially a long life ahead of him. I’ll have to google the topic of how ideas take root, particularly in cults, and especially the idea of leaving them. I’m not trans or woke, but when I worked at a university, I was surrounded by it. I remember wrestling with shame over being told I was the enemy, the problem, an evil white male, etc. I was naive and earnest, telling myself I should admit it if true, but also wanting carve out a protected space in my mind where I could entertain independent ideas critical of these ideologies. Funny how many people mention Jordan Peterson in these kinds of stories. I recall googling his name on a train years ago, holding my phone close to my chest so no one could see, in case he was indeed the nazi people were accusing him of being. I had a vision of all the other passengers rise up to condemn me. Strange and funny to look back on.

[@KerrieHatton-du4hi]

Brian is a handsome guy. If I saw him walking down the street that's exactly what would cross my mind. Handsome guy. You don't seem feminine but nobody cares about that anyway. You seem strong intelligent and headed down the right path. Don't spend too long on the past get grounded and focus on what an amazing future you can have.

[@lydiakinnaman3679]

What is saddest thing is these victims are so hated by a community that should be supported.

[@gethelp6271]

I would want to know more about his relationship with his mom and sister. I would think that he had a very unsupportive family who would appear to be supportive through quaint normalcy. I wonder if he's read the Alice Miller material.

[@metatron3942]

Do you have the link to this "therapist" who treated this victim videos?

[@CynthiaMoon23]

When it comes down to it, he was a messed-up kid who needed actual help. I feel for him; I really, really do. This seems to be a pattern with detransitioners.

[@danajacobs9097]

Agreed, I'm not much of a person who ever enjoyed sex for whatever reason. I always said if I never had a daughter I'd probably still be a virgin

[@AliB8444]

Brian should NAME & SHAME the therapist who pushed hormones on him. He should SUE HER for her last penny. This is serious malpractice.

[@chibizilla9648]

The funding for the Trans movement comes from very wealthy Transhumanist. Let that sink in.

[@ruthtirado2750]

Yes

[@smooth_pursuit]

Jennifer Bilek

[@hliljan]

This is our times Lobotomy

[@CynthiaMoon23]

The 'activist who happened to practice therapy' descriescription is kind. She's a self-styled activist masquerading as a therapist.

[@rvastrik]

Exactly!

[@alannamarohnic902]

My question: When kids are bullied at school, where are the parents? Believe me, if my child was bullied, it wouldn't happen more than once.

[@nuyael]

So you are a bully yourself

[@andreaberryman5354]

My son was beaten at school. They did nothing, because it's only a matter of time. The next kid he tried to beat laid him out flat right in front of my son, so he could be a witness. Once down, he was arrested and expelled stat. They just let the kid get what was coming.

[@tabithaedwards745]

The school does nothing at all.

[@joane24]

That therapist from the story sounds like a total quack. No other way to put it.

[@Sageautomatic]

Jordan Peterson is a life/game changer for everybody who listens to him. None of my experiences in life relate to anything this conversation is about. But as a middle aged single mother with a mountain of regretful life choices, Jordan Peterson has inspired me and also made me take a hard look at my life and the changes I have made because of that are substantial.

[@ormsk954]

My gay brother and his husband both reckon that if woke trans groomers had got hold of them as young teenagers they would have been castrated and pumped full of hormones. Thank goodness they missed the chop and are living happily both as camp as a Brighton bus queue.

[@SydneyBristow0788]

Yes there is an organization called LGB fights back and they contend that the trans movement is the leftist version of gay conversion therapy. Your brother had a good insight. Also there is another organization called gays against groomers that are trying to stop the proliferation of this movement on children.

[@kayla_white01]

I'll be Really honest here. It sounds like he stole my story. I went to the same clinic around the same time in Hollywood and saw the same doctor and she said the same things to my mom to get her to essentially sign my life away to them. Only difference is i was 15 years old when they put me on female hormones and unfortunately i had full feminizing vaginoplasty when i was 17 with a cosmetic labiaplasty when i was 18. They didn't challenge me and now im stuck as a girl because i had just started puberty when i got on hrt so i developed like a girl, probably even more feminine because i was on an "aggressively higher dose" Ive learned to live with myself though, I'll always have to sit to pee and I'll always be a woman in bed with a partner and id definitely never use the mens bathroom ever, I'll still present feminine because I like hair and makeup, but i feel more free to have more masculine hobbies and stuff like that. Ive been getting into brewing for the past 3 years and eventhough i do beautiful beer 100% myself bottle lable and all when i go to talk shop and men are around, the men will talk down to me like im dumb and dont know what im talking about, i experience lots of that sexism in daily life.

[@babysis6.059]

It's just not meant to be, and those who say they're better off and happy are not being truthful, I look forward to the day that wretched practice is banned and all the practitioners are sued and jailed

[@Ninafan68]

Why doesn't he name the therapist? Why protect her?

[@Sageautomatic]

He was very honest but I want to know if he also quit using meth? He seems very clear headed but i am curious if he got this clarity with sobriety? Meth does the craziest things to the brain.

[@h30202]

So easy to get drugs these days. It has gotten easier and easier through the years. When will this stop?

[@smooth_pursuit]

Now all cut with fentanyl too… deadly

[@joanmarie3423]

Good man

[@patriciadrury8557]

0:15 maybe i have got this wrong but the Neurenberg tribunaal in 1947 and the kaw still stands for the whole of europe that these operations are iligale

[@jos8916]

💛

[@panninggazz5244]

This is an Egregore Not Evolution There are no comparable historical past. We have surgeries, drugs, internet. This is 100% a new human experience and for humanity’s sake Let’s slow this down This is an Egregore not Evolution! And Egregore’s don’t give a flying freak about those who believe in it. (Egregore: thought form/group mind). This Egregore is formidable! Not to be taken lightly. We cannot allow Hotmone Ghettos to caste detrans into.

[@fatoumata7624]

Was it Dr Z ?

[@exlesoes]

1:12:00 yeah in 2019 I was at a lgbt shelter and shared sleeping room with men and women. The same year I spent 2 nights in a women's shelter... yikes I do feel bad about that! I honestly don't want people to see me in a way that is "different" or "special privilege" if you will lol I'm *loling because of the latter "special privilege term" 😕 I guess

[@petersiganos3673]

Revelations 17 And the Spirit and the bride say, Come. And let him that heareth say, Come. And let him that is athirst come. And whosoever will, let him take the water of life freely.

[@taylorhaskins9262]

He seems like he’s on the right path. Hopefully he can “like” lose the valley girl accent.

[@onehundredpercentmaxnochil9720]

I think that it's an endearing part of his personality.😊

[@Sageautomatic]

Please put the link to Brians soft white underbelly interview!

[@karensimpson7773]

People do what they want. These people are asking doctors to undo what God created. Shameful to God.

[@paulaoppedisano6460]

It’s clear that his parents were not emotionally available not supportive.

[@fatoumata7624]

Handsome ? Funny...

[@pinkparasollise9646]

I'll take bigots over anarchists any day.

[@umultme]

. T 🐣 Bri .