4 Aspects Of Love Narcissists Do Not Understand

Ultimately, narcissism is an anti-love pattern of life. Dr. Les Carter describes how self-absorbed narcissists are so invested in promoting the False Self that they are unable to live lovingly. He identifies four essential aspects of love that are lost on the narcissist, then challenges you to become the better alternative.
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Dr. Les Carter is a best selling author and therapist who has semi-retired to Waco, Tx. In the past 40+ years he has conducted more than 65,000 counseling sessions and many workshops and seminars. He specializes in anger management and narcissistic personality disorder.
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[@denellelloyd1280]

As long as you meet THEIR needs they call it love, but the minute you say anything about yours you are selfish and demanding!

[@76482]

EXACTLY!

[@mscapri1628]

@Sum Gumption seriously u can never satisfy their needs no matter wat.... Bcoz these creatures are never satisfied with anything and always want more and more😜

[@bryanandrew7729]

Just say no or I disagree with or your wrong then jst watch there eyes go red then they show their true self they are demonic creatures

[@creativelady7]

Yes, or they just ignore what you said you need. They just don't get it!

[@song8777]

That's right!

[@QuasiBlond]

When you’re dealing with a covert narcissist, they are always judging you. And you will always fall short of their expectation. It doesn’t matter how many hoops you have to jump through, you will never get validation/approval/love/recognition. You simply are not worthy in their eyes. They are destructive, terrible creatures.

[@shereadsshescries1457]

and as covert narcissists they happily pass on negative comments about you from others, to your face, without any kind of holding back, he really hates you, she really hates you, she would not touch what you cooked, they really rejected the gifts you bought them you should have heard them wow a normal person does not do this, pass on hateful things, a normal person would instead say i stood up for you, instead of standing there raining insults on you they heard, these hateful things come from the covert narcissist who wants you to feel bad hearing it, itcis not passing along, it is double attack, so never listen to the constant bombardment of he said this about you, she said that about you, just realize this is a covert narcissist in front of you, passing along hate with an intent to upset you... omg these people....monsters

[@roberta6363]

Eva and Lin you speak my heart.

[@LexieBee-sx7tu]

I agree

[@225lilmoma]

@@shereadsshescries1457 yes what’s also hard is dealing with when they do it. Discard. It’s hard to not want to defend yourself which makes the victim look like the abuser. Going through it a second time and OMG wish I hadn’t been sucked in to begin with.

[@kacibeaverwestbrook1744]

He is constantly yelling at me and letting me know I'm not doing enough for him. I'm stressed to the max trying to do everything he needs in order to make him even be a little nice to for longer than a day. He drinks for days doesn't go to work and ignores me for days. He's always downing my children. I can't have any kind of relationship with them in fear he may act like this to them. I've never in life delt with a person like this. He's torture to be with and please. He makes me feel like maybe I am a loser at times. Then I remember his views should be non-existent to me bc he's sick horrible person. I'm full of love and still believe someone still may want me or want a relationship. Healthy relationship. He blames me for everything. It's all my fault.

[@johng.4959]

Since a narcissist does not know what love is, they can't possibly understand the ever-changing dynamics of a relationship. They then go from one relationship to another looking for something they can't even identify. It's a non- win situation for everyone involved.

[@mdee860]

Yes, so sad. They stick to their pattern, their bag of tricks, etc. They never grow, learn & just repeat their pattern.... over & over & over.

[@iriceuvm]

Yep they never see themselves as part of the problem and jump from person to person.

[@johng.4959]

@@marinvidovic763 Yup! Good analogy.

[@JaneDoe-ij4ls]

@@hackedaccount3424 alot of adults Don't KNOW how to love, however....

[@johng.4959]

@@hackedaccount3424 Well said! And so very true... The saddest part for me is that I didn't understand or even realize what "all this" was during my time with her. If I had known what I know now... I wouldn't have allowed myself to get too deep. If that makes sense....

[@jujubean8645]

They are always questioning intentions because they know their intentions are no good.

[@hannahpumpkins4359]

They're demons. Worthless people.

[@russellm7530]

Yes. That's my mother and relatives. Demonic shit.

[@ilovejettrooper5922]

@Justa Me Sounds like a thought-stopping technique. You found something that threw a wrench into the gears of their narcissism, *forcing* them to come out of it and look around at what was happening like a normal person.

[@kimlarsson7259]

JujuBean Narcissists are paranoid.

[@victoriasage7]

Wow, that’s good... that’s that projection...

[@chelleb3055]

Like everything with them, love is very conditional and transactional. They don't truly feel love, but they can convince you that they do in order to manipulate you into compliance and blind obedience. If you don't respond according to their script they will punish and discard you.

[@hannahpumpkins4359]

Absolutely - every single thing with them is transactional. Everything.

[@Marina-rc7px]

Mine won’t discard me what do I gotta do! He wants to keep me in his misery

[@mariaawake4502]

@@Marina-rc7px , in this situation too. I am creating "free spaces" for myself , but it depends on your situation how these "oasis" look like and we still have to consider the pandemic.

[@costelloandlizzievolk2233]

@@Marina-rc7px then ‘discard’ (breakup with) him if that’s what you want to do! Do what’s best for you! 💖 You have every right and can do it! 💪🏼

[@thehappylife4471]

Yep! You’re absolutely right!

[@MannodjiHaitiCreole]

Trying to solve a marital problem with a narcissist has no end. There is no closure and no solution. It's like you are draining yourself and fighting a battle you will never win. That's what I experienced in my relationship.

[@keddy5627]

Love is something to be manipulated, toyed with, and dangled like the proverbial carrot for the N…😔

[@MrRandy1221]

Fair weather friends-family don't truly love.

[@KathrynBriley]

There are still those that do have a healthy attitude and respect towards love and relationship....don't give up!

[@hadessimpett6477]

@@KathrynBriley I have very much yet too see a relationship that didn't require 100 percent effort from me.

[@LR-yu3mx]

Thank you dr for sll the insightful videos. So good that the knowledge of personality disorders have been opened up for every individual to know and understand

[@js6546]

Four aspects of love from the abused empaths point of view! If you loved me I would: smile at you and experience true happiness, our children would feel secure in the family we have created, we would achieve so many wonderful things as a couple, life would be a wondrous journey together. This will never happen with a narcissist. They fake love to ensnare and then withdraw until the discard. My heart goes out to all partners and children trying to stay strong and rebuild their lives. Thank you Dr C for supporting us with your balanced, insightful videos. You’re the man! 🥰

[@ceebee1704]

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. *Corinthians 13: 1 - 8* On the other hand: A narcissist is impatient, unkind, envious, enjoys boasting and gloating. A narcissist repeatedly disrespects others and lives only for themselves. A narcissist goes into a rage over the smallest things and bears grudges for any perceived slight against them. A narcissist is depraved and is weirdly enjoys committing acts of evil and deception. They attack others, lack trust and are not trustworthy, they abandon those who do not serve a purpose to them. They fail in every aspect where love is concerned.

[@TimErwin]

My narcissist relative used to point to that scripture to justify why he acts the way he does: "See! Man cannot be those things. That's why I don't trust anyone but myself!" I suppose this type of behavior is no surprise for a narcissist. Afterall, the devil and demons interpret scripture differently from the rest of us. And narcissists are the closest thing to the devil that we'll get on Earth.

[@ceebee1704]

@@TimErwin That is the narcissist not wanting to hold themselves accountable for their behaviour. A narc will twist scripture, just like Satan did when he tempted Jesus, to suit their agenda.

[@davidhinkson8856]

Excellent interpretation!

[@Rain9Quinn]

Yup😢

[@jeanalice4732]

The only issue I address is not displaying disrespect towards others. I don't think ppl who show disregard for loving quality or righteous values (BLM antifa etc etc) warrant any respect whatsoever.

[@DrNancyLivingCoCreatively]

I feel we have a national crisis regarding the inability to introspect and know one's values and to then act and interact w mutual respect. Love as a way of life. What a beautiful value. I fully embrace even when they are not able to reciprocate. Not easy and I do fail at times but I learn more every day. Many thanks.

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

Thanks Nancy! Dr. C

[@andreah6379]

That is to say there is a whole tribe of people, politically to be frank, that are all somewhere on the spectrum of narcissism/sociopathy. Mean, manipulative, entitled, lack of respect of laws, vengeful, etc...yes they are all around us.

[@glitterginger]

You are right. I see daily people telling other people what they think they should be doing or not, when it is not their place. People have freedom to do what they need to for themselves and it is clear to see how this control, which is fear based, is spreading. I hope people wake up and learn to stay in their lane. I have had plenty of words with people who tried to tell me what to do! They need to wake up.

[@kellycarmody5041]

Unfortunately, I’ve also noticed in my neck of the woods the most deeply religious folks are also the ones who lack any and all mutual respect. What’s going on in our world?!

[@jamesritch5245]

Well said.

[@wifferstess2824]

Yup. They don’t know understanding, acceptance, tenderness, or how to forgive. Instead you will see characteristics like scorekeeping, begrudging, haughtiness, etc. I think the scorekeeping one is the most childish bu it’s really their need to feel whole.

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

You get it. Dr. C

[@sheilajac]

or listening, or caring...& they can not even SAY "I love you", it has to be a lesser version, like "luv ya". I don't think they can fully say it because they don't feel it and they don't suffer with mixed feelings like I do, where on one hand I feel sorry for them and want to forgive them (have forgiven, many times over, only to be abused again) AND even understand why they are the way they are and how they came to be - be able to still love them, despite their horridness...while on the other, knowing that they will not ever TRY, apologize, look at things from another perspective or genuinely care bout me and worse, try to hurt me, intentionally. Just say horribly hurtful things that no mother who has any capacity for love would even think, much less say out loud. They only have the one hand, no comprehension of how bloody difficult it is to hold those opposing feelings at the same time in your heart.

[@toni-leeblair5869]

My narc father says "luv ya" without moving his mouth!

[@sheilajac]

@@toni-leeblair5869 neither of my parents have ever, in my life, even said "luv ya". My mom says "luv ya" to my nephews and one of my cousins, maybe one of her childhood friends, but I have never even heard her say it to my brother & definitely not to me.

[@toni-leeblair5869]

@@sheilajac I'm so sorry to hear that for you. They are so cruel! My father's in his eighties and uses "luv ya" to try to con me into doing things for him, to look after him. I didn't even know where he lived until recently, until he burnt all his bridges and I,the scapegoat was the only one left. He's a vampire and gets F all from me!

[@ninij9692]

The best thing I ever did for myself, is to allow myself to understand that my narcissistic mother is just not capable of loving me the way I needed to be loved as a child. People cannot give away something that they do not already possess...it's physically and mentally impossible.

[@alonzomosley7]

Well said

[@blankearth5840]

They will love you only when it benefits them

[@mikaelapapazyan6411]

So true 👍

[@Unknown-wb1bf]

The Next video should be about how narcissist parents demand excessive amounts of respect from their children like their some sort of god or goddess

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

Actually, I'll have more to say about that topic relatively soon. Dr. C

[@polnykwiatek12]

Not just respect … they do no raising but demand and expect certain behavior from a child , they just expect a child to do stuff without never teaching a child anything…

[@bmoremom8458]

Yes, demand respect they didn’t earn or expect their kids to be indentured servants…

[@rosewagner8735]

Ahhh the God complex.... and ppl wonder why I say "god" or the "bible" is actually narcissism.

[@hannahpumpkins4359]

My mother had NPD, and my father does as well (both diagnosed). My father says children should do everything for their parents - even when they get older. That they should turn over the paycheck, clean their house, make them all their meals, do the laundry for them, run their errands, etc. All my NPD father does all day is watch TV - no hobbies, few friends, he doesn't read, etc. Growing up he never taught me anything - I mean, absolutely nothing. He just screamed at me and beat me up and would scream, "when you turn 16 you're outta the house"! I graduated high school living in an apartment with 5 women (I was 17, they were all in their late 20's) - he wouldn't even let me stay until I finished school.

[@terrywade3696]

Summary: 1) love means you are a psychologically aware person. Know themselves and interested in knowing others. 2) love means you have good impulse control. Not reacting without thinking. 3) prioritize acceptance over correctness. No agenda. 4) love is proactive not reactive. It’s not transaction based. It’s not quid pro quo.

[@pinsue3708]

😳These 4 thing HIT ME LIKE A BRICK TO THE HEAD😞 I HAVE BEEN living in a LOVE LESS MARRIAGE for 25 years😒

[@mercyrahma9501]

@@pinsue3708 😳25 years !!!? You are so Patient and Brave...

[@TacticalNuke321]

And love certainly doesn’t need a “why” or a reason

[@carrotspies]

I will never love a narcissist again. It is a soul draining and emotionally damaging experience.

[@jenjen6033]

Copy that

[@lh8508]

In have noticed a lot of similarities between narcissists and my children. Kids are developmentally expected to be self-centered. You can teach them out of that. I feel like a lot of personality disorders are just a lot arrested development.

[@shaniquamichaux1422]

this is true for a narcissist. they aren't born that way. they never developed emotionally because of childhood trauma, neglect, abandonment and abuse.

[@Xxsimply.catgrassxX]

@Turd Laburd Spot on!

[@Kyle1444]

@@shaniquamichaux1422 Narcissism IS arrested development. There's a sitcom named so too. Lot's of sitcoms are infantile narcissism making you laugh it off

[@tedschmitt178]

Narcissists have weak or no impulse control; when they see something they want or that they want to do, their impulse is that they deserve it.

[@PS-um3oh]

I agree, they really do exhibit childlike tendencies. My narc husband wants to buy ALL the things that he claims was denied him all his life. He tells me he ordered something and when I tell him the budget won't handle the purchase he shugs and tells me I'd better figure it out then. I'm talking large purchases, hundreds and thousands of dollars.

[@person7123]

Yeah, it is so weird how they flat out ignore boundaries repeatedly, as a way of life.😐

[@tedschmitt178]

@@PS-um3oh Yep, my ex wife was the same. It buying things, saying whatever they want, and having affairs are all ways to soothe themselves because they have no way to otherwise soothe themselves.

[@anndevlin7411]

@@PS-um3oh sounds like my ex narcissistic too!

[@anndevlin7411]

Spot on. I was repeatedly raped by my ex narc when I was pregnant. It went on throughout most of the pregnancy. It was his way of hurting me because the pregnancy was not planned and he didn't want the child When I found out I was pregnant his first reaction was that he would leave as he didn't want to be responsible for another child, but he was kind enough to offer to pay maintenance! I persuaded him to stay, I was terrified at the prospect of being on my own, i didn't want to be a single parent and didn't want my child to grow up without his father. I thought I loved him, and hoped he'd come round, but it was a bad decision on my part, I should have let him go there and then. From then on he treated me like a complete doormat and sadly I put up with it for many years. I tried to keep the marriage together for the sake of our child. I'd been sexually abused by an older cousin when I was 4/5 years old, so when my ex raped me repeatedly throughout the pregnancy I just froze, and went straight back to being a terrified little girl. He knew I had been abused and he knew exactly how to hurt me the most. Many years later, shortly after we'd separated I challenged him about the rape - I was naively hoping he might show some kind of remorse or offer some kind of apology for what he'd put me through, but all he said was 'I was angry' as if that justified his behaviour. I'm currently going through the divorce proceedings with him and he's still acting out and trying to hurt me, now financially, eventhough I have stage 4 (terminal) cancer, and have just had two lots of massive surgery. I could go on, but suffice to say he's a total low life. He's also a local councillor - fits with his delusions of grandeur! I think the cancer developed as a result of being in such a toxic stressful relationship for many years. I've been reading up lots on how the body stores trauma and how it can manifest as chronic illnesses. (DrBessel Van Der Kolk and Dr Gabor Mate are especially learned in this field). I'm working on trying to release trauma from my body and am still hopeful that I will overcome the cancer and heal my body. I'm happy to share my story in the hope that it may help others see the light and have the strength and courage to leave their abusive partners.

[@Cocobean134]

This clarifies exactly what it’s like to deal with a narcissist, very validating.

[@jeffwilliams9086]

It’s like he knows mine personally...like he’s a member of the family😔

[@Julieta1078]

The more you love them the more they feel hate for you. But why is it that way?

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

Love means becoming vulnerable. That terrifies them. Dr. C

[@sage9836]

I am so glad you asked!

[@mariaawake4502]

I have the impression, that the narcissist I know sees loving, non-narcissistic people as weak , maybe even foolish. Since I learnt about narcissism, I am able to peek behind the narcissist´s mask from time to time and unlike before, now I can put 1 and 1 together.

[@Julieta1078]

@@mariaawake4502 I think the same way! They cannot cope with their own weaknesses nor with the weaknesses of others. And I definitely also believe they think love is the biggest weakness ever. That's how it felt with my ex narc from whom I have now been separated for 10 months with no contact for 3 months now. And still struggling 😣

[@mariaawake4502]

@@Julieta1078 , I hope you will heal and re-organize your focus, ( I am in this process too). Best wishes for your journey.

[@yaelshmaryahu5314]

Dr Les Carter, I just need you to know that there are those of us out here who NEED your insights into this strange world of narcissism that we live in. I am eternally grateful and literally hang on every word in these videos. Thank you so very much!

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

Thank you so much, Yael. You're why I do the videos. Dr. C

[@desertgirlwarrior1921]

@@SurvivingNarcissism 🙏❤️ you are simply a soul & sanity saviour 🙏 ❤️

[@mwilliams-castillo9609]

These people are very hard to deal with, you can't please them, they will love you if they can control you

[@sockpuppet2415]

Their “love” is not love at all . They feel rewarded when they invade another’s boundaries (who doesn’t fight back) and get a rush on the Power of control.

[@blankearth5840]

Keyword: “if“. Narcissistic people can only love you “if“ you are x y z, or “if“ you do this and that for them, or “if” you are this way or that way. There should be no “only’s” or “if’s” or “when’s” in love

[@tulanzuya]

The subtle feeling I always had with mine was that they were denied what they wanted/needed long ago, they're deeply enraged about that and the feeling they seemed to take into the relationship (and every other interaction) was "you owe me for that." What a trigger for a caring and generous person who feels compelled to soothe another's pain.

[@karolinagren5846]

Narcs want you to invest in them, whilst they don't invest emotionally in you at all. Or as my narc said when I had enough of it: well, I wasn't investing in you anyway. It hurt tremendously, but now I see it's just a pattern of what they do: take everything they can take, giving only a little and dangling promises for in the non existent future.

[@dutch__mermaid602]

Narcissists seem to be attracted to empathic people and try to destroy them, I really hope they will come across a narcissist worse than them. Karma.

[@coltcomerford4897]

Yes.. I agree, I have always been an empath and am a victim of a narcissist mother

[@Xxsimply.catgrassxX]

@Dutch_Mermaid Oh it’ll happen, but they’ll also have sown seeds with a healed empath along the way. The fellow narc will be minor because it’s familiar energy. The healed empath will be so solid in themselves, there’s no more buttons to press so no more feeding the narc. It will be a forever kind of hurt because the empath will not entertain their company at all.

[@jsf8145]

Eventually in God's own timing they will! The narc who is worse than them is named Satan and will be presented as the Anti-Christ during the 7 year great tribulation. I'm a follower of Jesus (Isaiah 53), so I won't be around to see the Anti-Christ, but he will be the most ultimate narcissist ever present to earth as he pretends to bring peace on earth (charismatic, fun loving, very beautiful, well spoken, educated, ........but very two faced). Everyone will be fooled by satan. The anti-Christ will fool many in believing he has come to bring peace to all the earth and everyone will worship Satan as if he were God, but the Anti-Christ's reign will be short lived and only last 3-1/2 years when Jesus returns with the clouds of heaven (Daniel 7:13,14) with bright white hair & a blinding white face as white as snow. The face of Jesus will be so white/bright, nobody will be able to look at it except for His true followers who've repented and followed Jesus. His return will happen in an instant, like a bolt of lighting that can be seen on all corners of the earth. When Jesus returns in that instant, it will be too late for un-repentant narcs, as Jesus will be every narcissist's worst nightmare as Jesus will unveil all wrong doing, lies, gossip, etc with the blink of an eye. The eyes of Jesus will look like balls of flaming fire that will look through to the core of every man's heart and Jesus will judge every wicked man with the snap of a finger. Jesus came to earth as a humble suffering servant, but he will return to seek vengeance & cast judgement on all evil. Jesus shoes will be brass (symbolizing God's judgement on all evil doers). His voice will be a deafening roaring thunder that will sound like Niagara Falls on steroids or a 200' Tsunami wave crashing on the shore two feet away from you. The return of Jesus will be a deafening blow to the narc's ego. There will be no time remaining for excuses on that day. God will provide ZERO time for anymore of His patience, love, understanding and mercy to evil people habitually living in sin. There will be ZERO mercy on that day, when Jesus returns. If you want to learn more about the book of Revelation, I recommend reading "Study Guide for Revelation by Adrain Rogers". Very helpful in understanding how Jesus will look on the day of His return. Also, recommend listening to a podcast by Pastor Paul Sheppard called "Destined for Victory". Satan wants to lie, kill, destroy as many empathetic people as he can, but Jesus provides the solution to all Narcs. If you don't know Jesus today, I recommend following Him. He is our only hope in a fallen world (Psalm 51:1) that breads narcissism. Vengeance is of the Lords. Give the Narc to God. Pray for those persecute you (Narcs). Extend them the same mercy & grace that God has already freely extended us through the blood of Jesus on the cross (Psalm 22). John 16:33 Psalm 110:1

[@bruji2001]

@@Xxsimply.catgrassxX 🙏🙏

[@hadessimpett6477]

Something about energy vampires. Feeding off of the empaths kindness, and sympathy until well.. you know.

[@christinalw19]

I found that others loved and approved of me if they were not part of my family. Lol 🙄 I was surprised when I got to know someone and they thought I was nice or talented, Very odd way to grow up. I have treated my children the opposite of how I was raised. They are normal happy successful adults, and I feel like I’m still screwed up.

[@motha_earth1386]

Gosh this is how I feel. I raised 3 beautiful loving empathetic children that are productive in society. Yet here I am still trying to regain and lift my self esteem everyday at 44. I cry and feel so grateful that I at least gave my children a good life. They have great boundaries to keep themselves around healthy loving friends and associates because of what they’ve seen me go through in relationships and that makes me happy.

[@christinalw19]

@@dgirl6248 you are a good Mother and you have been Blessed. It is a strange dynamic, I I know, but we raised loved healthy kids. That is our reward, maybe we need to accept that we overcame obstacles. I often think of the pioneers who endured & blazed the way for future generations. We did that. We broke chains and created healthy children. You are a success, Desi. 😘🙏🏼🕊

[@christinalw19]

@@motha_earth1386 I’m with you. It’s painful sometimes. I cry and ask “ why couldn’t I have been loved and encouraged, even just accepted?” But, we had different lessons. God Bless you, Dear One, You are Loved and strong. I pray for you, for peace. 🙏🏼🕊❤️

[@KatharinaHaererBranes]

Wow good job on raising your kids right despite your own bad upbringing! 👏

[@motha_earth1386]

@@christinalw19 Thank you and I’m praying for peace to come to everyone in this timeline God Speed 💫💫💫

[@shodack5124]

Anti-love is exactly how I feel about my ex after 12 plus years trying to "teach" him about love and family.

[@Nancy-yw1rr]

Love is meaningless to a narcissist; they want you to fear them so you will remain compliant. A person must be vulnerable to be able to give and receive love, but they see that as a character weakness, not a strength. Regarding acceptance, my experience was that they were not accepting of others, but demanded total acceptance of themselves- regardless of their horrible, abusive behaviors. They are very hypocritical creatures.

[@blank_earth]

Their acceptance is conditional. You can’t just be you, you have to be who they want 😒

[@oxigenarian9763]

I really like the way you end your videos. My favorite line is "...I want to be a difference maker in my world..." Sometimes all we need to do is be a friendly, supportive and positive influence with the people we meet, even if we don't know who they are. Brighten someone's day today...

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

I'm with you on all that! Dr. C

[@traci7200]

I absolutely agree...is my favorite too!! 😀

[@user-wk8vo4ju7o]

Yes👍👍, narcissists don't care about anyone, they only help others with selfish motives 😤😤

[@awakened9906]

A normal person's interpretation of love is compassion, understanding and empathy. A narcissist's interpretation of love is compliance, obedience and transaction.

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

Spot on. Dr. C

[@karolinagren5846]

"Ok, I love you, maybe!" Dr C cracks me up!😆 I think narcs have a broken moral code and I think they chose to prioritize their wants over everyone else's.

[@1ajtg]

They truly don't understand unconditional love. They can't even show their own children. Love is lost on a narcissist. He did tell me years ago that he didn't know what love was: A very young me laughed out loud...I mean how could you not know that....

[@hannahpumpkins4359]

I used to conduct forensic interviews/interrogations as part of my job in Homeland Security. One day I did this with my NPD dad. My father said the same thing - that he had no idea what love was, did not feel empathy for anyone, and did not see people as special etc - but rather merely as 'things' to be used for their own benefit.

[@1ajtg]

@@hannahpumpkins4359 Even although I've lived with someone that couldn't love for over 3 decades I still felt disbelief when I read yours. It is unbelievable and shocking. Thanks for the insight.

[@andre1987eph]

Not a good time to laugh tho

[@1ajtg]

@@andre1987eph in 1984 it was funny, I thought so anyway. The irony kills me!

[@Rain9Quinn]

Maybe they never experienced it growing up? At least the guy was honest…(no excuse if also abusive of course)

[@kavannahlight5378]

Dr. Les, you are a MOST AMAZING TEACHER. The lessons we most need to be FREE and HEALTHY. The kindness, understanding, and knowledge of this topic is UNSURPASSED! With our society being one that rewards narcissistic behavior on ALL levels, I know many of us will be happy to see these folks PAY for their crimes against humanity. Then go on to build a 'kinder, gentler' society for ALL.

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

Thanks. I listen to my viewers and often make videos based on what I'm hearing. I appreciate your feedback. Dr. C

[@emagard8076]

Yes, he used to say, its my way or the highway. I gave up the me to be WHAT he wanted the me to be. 18 months out now after a very turbulent 10 years. I am going through withdrawal from weaning off antidepressants and still take another med, I am told may be for life for stomach problem due to the stress and anxiety I was suffering. I am healing mentally and continue to learn where never to go ever again. I have experienced a wonderful normal loving 25 yr marriage in the past (lost to cancer) I never knew these people existed unfortunately. Your explanations are wonderful , thank you :)

[@beccareynolds4625]

Condolences 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻 You can heal. Best of luck

[@allpreppedup8956]

Thank you for your videos. At the ripe old age of 60, I realized that my whole life up to now has been wasted looking for heroes who would eventually let me down. Like a survivor of a shipwreck clinging to one piece of wreckiage after another convinced I was on solid ground. Sad really. Keep questioning my decision to ghost them. No loss...they were never there anyway.

[@emagard8076]

I am 71 now, it is sad but we are never to old to find happiness within ourselves, I also often think of wasted years.

[@deangerber1797]

I had 1, my grandmother! She was and has been gone several years now, but still my heroin! Miss her terribly.

[@denicehaley9902]

Im turning 61 in July, and my narc “husband” has turned from hero to zero especially now I’m disabled from Long Covid.

[@Jane-bk5nj]

You are literally saving my life everytime I listen to you. There are times when I want to go back to him, but then I realize I would be killing myself. When I listen to you, you indirectly talk sense into my head so that I don't repeat the same mistakes.

[@toni-leeblair5869]

My parents have taught me, what conditional love is!

[@donovanmorrison8201]

Me too.

[@donovanmorrison8201]

We have to break that programming one day at a time.

[@rosewagner8735]

Yup mine did too. And their parents taught it to them and so on. None of them ever stopped the abuse and changed. But you see it and noticed it. Good for you. You can change the cycle for yourself :) one day at a time it will get better

[@md-mx5zb]

Yep. Pretty sad. HEAL the wounds in us

[@jessicayoung6208]

Narcissists just don’t understand love at all. I operate as a loving, forgiving and healthy individual. The father of my kids (the narcissist) doesn’t operate that way. He lives in an alternate reality. He constantly accuses me. He thinks everyone is out to get him. He thinks I seek revenge on him for all the times he’s cheated. And the thing is while some would, I haven’t, don’t and wouldn’t because it’s not in my character. I know right from wrong and I know cheating back wouldn’t make me feel any better or help me heal from those pains.

[@KatharinaHaererBranes]

But it would make them feel better. Lol 🤦‍♀️

[@deborahwentworth8792]

My ex's love bank was EMPTY. In all facets....Now after 24 years I need to regain myself,needs,desires and the whole gammut.67 years old .....lolol This ought to be a real challenge.Hey but you know what,as long as I have myself to count on,I can do this I don't need someone to make me whole.Goodness knows I will be the best version of myself.Thank you Dr.C

[@deirdreday8731]

I lived with LUST FOR NEARLY 50yrs. Not LOVE. Dr. Les I could listen to.your Dulcit tones all day. Raised 5 beautiful, clever and loving children. I only know I could not have done it without my God. For years though I couldn't figure it all out as I was driving myself into the ground doing MY best for everyone. I cried morning noon and night when no one was around. I prostrated myself many times begging help from my dead parents, asking them to help me out of this mire of hopelessness and unworthiness. I didn't sleep for months but attended to my duties diligently. I did my utmost to keep it all together. I just kept all the crap in my head a d pushed it into the deepest cavity of my brain and plodded on for the greater good of my children.I honestly never thought of me through all of this. My main aim was to not let my children learn patterns of thought and behaviour that would filter through future generations to come. I stuck with it put up with the snide, jealous remarks

[@deirdreday8731]

Contd., The demeaning embarrassments the cold icy and alien response to me when I came home from work. The LONG DEEP SILENCES THE NON-CO-OPERATION THE GAS LIGHTING THE LIPSTICK.ON THE SHIRT. THEN ANOTHER SHORT MISSING FOR 3 MONTHS AFTER BEING OUT WITH WORK COLLEAGUES? THE SHIRT REAPPEARED BRAND SPANKING NEW AS I say 3 months later. It goes on and on. 50yrs. Later I woke up and smelled thd upon

[@deirdreday8731]

The coffee! Hooray!

[@UVstarbaby]

A "relationship" with an NPD is embarrassing, humiliating, and frustrating. Did I mention unsatisfying? 😉 Thank you, Dr. Carter. I love your work...and sense of humor. 💗

[@mikaelapapazyan6411]

Unsatisfying yes! Absolutely!!

[@mikaelapapazyan6411]

They are also very boring, inconsistent and law educated literally dumb but love pretending that they know everything..ah so boring 😴

[@denicehaley9902]

“Love Is A Battlefield “ where the narc always wins (in their minds). Such heartbreak and grief for us who grew up and are married to the battlefield-what I call a nuclear war zone. Many prayers to us all. 🙏🙏🙏🙏

[@user-zp1sr8kn6k]

My spouse only once said that he told his father he loved me. After we married I would ask him to say he loved me. He answered, it means nothing to say it, only showing it counts. During the 40 years of knowing him, occasionally I'd ask him again. He got angry. This year our son confirmed on my birthday that earlier he was told by my spouse that he had never loved me. I was relieved that now our son knew the truth too. I was also very grateful that I'd learned about narcissists from you Dr.Carter. I was able to continue the birthday meal my son and his girlfriend had arranged and remember that a member on team healthy doesn't let a liar-thief-slanderer etc. spoil her special day. Thank you so much for your videos, the comments and our community ❤

[@brynnzadorozny4628]

Yes I do live my life with open loving heart for all humanity, also have forgive my narcissist ex husband for the life lesson I have journey through. We must forgive them of healing are selfs. Forgiveness to me is a huge part of love ❤️ love yourself and others with kindness, awareness and forgiveness. Love and light everyone 🙏💞

[@jenjen6033]

I disagree. We don't have to forgive them. They're grown adults capable of change and getting appropriate support for positive change when they see the pattern of lost relationships. Forgive yourself then move on. Let God forgive them for you.

[@lauriedmills7581]

We agree on the term "anti-love" 😄. Actually, the whole title I use is, "The Poison of Anti-Love" cos it's deadly. I love how you're teaching us how to love, what it is, modelling it - the Great Commandment. Thank you and God bless you.

[@danielaspitz3052]

During the process of leaving my covert narcissist ex, he once said that Sex doesn't has a mystical aspect to him. We only had this weird mechanical, cold, unloving, purely physical Sex. I'm not a spiritual person at all, but people in Love ususally feel something, don't they? There was nothing with him. Nothing. When he said this, that was the moment I started checking the net and found out what was wrong there. I'm an Empath, hypersensitive, introverted and a woman who just does things. He never did or give anything at all. Nothing. Yes, it's totally strange, staying with someone like this for two years. I've also learned that I seem to have repeated the kind of trauma bond with my narc parents. I never ended up with a man like this, I took all this mainly for feeling kinda sorry for him

[@danielaspitz3052]

@@chriswyma145 That's how I felt. He said he loves me, a few times. But when I was unhappy, he tried to convince me that there are different types of love and he just loves differently from me. But there is no type of love that he gave. That just wasn't love. Btw- I only found out after being with him for several months, that he was totally aroused by literally all of the good- looking women we saw, when we were out, going for walks, eating out, in Shops, anywhere, really. Then I found out he strolled through the Facebook profiles of sexy women even half his age- aquaintances, Stars, colleagues.Then he told me he's a porn addict, which he claimed seems to stem from being single almost his whole live. Then he told me that he w.....off on pictures of these women several times a day, when being bored,stressed, depressed and even when I adressed the problems we had- I'm used to finding solutions with partners, he just dreamt himself away with these beautiful women, phantasising how hot and great they find him, doing NOTHING for me or the "relationship". I left due to months of depression turning into suicidal thoughts.

[@chrislabruzzo1153]

My mom and brother abused me. They’re the narcissist. Smashed my spirit. I’m just now learning me fully

[@christianpulisic7784]

Chris Labruzzo,I admire your pretty smile ☺️!!

[@gwendolynbien-aime1536]

Yes, Dr. Carter. WE HEAR YOUR HEART!! Your kindness, empathy and sincerity emanates from the screen!! Your words, knowledge and wisdom (and your Southern accent 😁) comforts and reassures me. Your videos have literally been a game-changer and a life-saver for me!!! THANK YOU!!!

[@ndgirl584]

Your videos have been a life line for me as I left a long term narcissistic marriage. Getting the insight into what was going on was so valuable. Thank you from the bottom of my heart

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

You are so welcome. Dr. C

[@jamiegraham5841]

definitely hear your heart. It really is refreshing how you approach these topics in a way that's honest and respectful. I love that at the end of every topic you discuss you basically give a little pep talk. Thank you for the heartfelt encouragement! These videos along with a great therapist are truly helping me navigate sone pretty dicey waters.

[@nilgiridreaming]

My experiences with the xnarc and his family began when I was 15 - a couple of weeks before I became 16. HIs mother, father and sister's disdain and criticisms of me, expressed with great contempt, caught me by surprise. They hardly knew me yet they immediately began taking me and my family apart with gusto and relished any discomfort on my part. I endured this as i loved their son and brother. Years of life with this man took me down to a level i would never want to return to.

[@lissacablerware8475]

It’s all rather sad isn’t it 😔🙏🏽💞

[@mariaadame739]

It's very sad. I still have feelings for my ex Narcissist. But I know now that it doesn't matter. I can't be with him; he's too destructive, damaged.

[@camuyana]

I can't say it enough Dr. Carter. I don't know if it's your calm and reassuring voice, your Christian example, your on-target advice or all three but I feel safe and I haven't had that feeling for a long time. God bless you for being here to help us. Every time you put out a video I know that you will be speaking to me. I am forever grateful. Thank you! ❤

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

Thanks, Elsa. Dr. C

[@tanyadavis6138]

He's like getting a big 'ol hug isn't he?

[@desertgirlwarrior1921]

Agree 💯

[@dinky-diridgy-didge636]

Takes two to tango, part of healing is discovering that there's times I might of been quite toxic aswell 🤬 but if you can't see it and be willing to change it you'll never grow and you'll be stuck.

[@annelieekdahl3880]

Dear Dr Carter, I found your videos online searching for answers and understanding after leaving a relationship that was no good to me. I didn’t understand what I was dealing with. I didn’t understand my expeience with the man I loved. I didn’t understand how somenone could treat another person like he did to me. Now I do. He is a narcissist. I want you to know that you make a difference in peoples lives. You help me understand me. That all this is about me. Who am I. What do I whant in a relationship. What is ok. What is not. The importans of boundaries. To trust my stomace and heart when it screams - THIS IS NOT OK.. this is NOT love. I found a quote, that I really like: ”If by any chance you get caught in my web. I can make your life a living hell. But remember this: I am in that web too. The difference between you and me is that you can get out.” I am out. This quote from you went straight in to my heart: Goodness, is strenght. Gentleness, is strenght. Kindness, is strenght. I am a good person. I deserve better. From the bottom of my heart. Thank you. From Sweden with love, Annelie

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

Thanks Annelie for sharing your story, and thanks especially for the poignant quote. Dr. C

[@annelieekdahl3880]

@@SurvivingNarcissism we must not forget, even if they cause us a lot of pain, that the narcissist is a human being. With a broken soul. That quote makes me understand that I have a choise. He has not. And it is heartbreaking to realize that a person you love(d) will live his whole life without feeling inner peace, true hapiness and true Love. What a waste of a life.. It makes it easier to forgive him. Forgivness is my way to inner peace. Once moore, thank you for showing me the way to a better, healthier life. Annelie

[@beccareynolds4625]

Augh they are so exhausting 🤦🏼‍♀️ Just want to live a life with normal people who aren’t constantly playing mind games and trying to destroy people. Please god free me from these people. Help me to place strong boundaries. I’ve just lost it with my narc ... augh and now I feel guilty. Augghhh!!

[@pamelakelley5535]

Thank u Dr. Carter. This is why my ex narc is an ex. They have no self love so they r incapable of loving u. They have no clue how to really love anyone.

[@benjamintodd3323]

To a Narc' love is an entitlement, something owed, in reality, love is something given to a person so together, feel connected, grounded, good, and grows with those that take care of that love and share its bounty. The narc' feeds on it like blood to a vampire, everyone is a source of food and can be glammed, with their gaze and smooth words until they share the mirror. Guess who does not have a reflection and needs a stake in the heart?

[@michelepascoe6068]

Their love is conditional and so is their respect. They can let some people think they earned it if they want something, but no one ever really is loved or respected by them. They always have to be queen bee or top dog.

[@olyooshka]

When I was proactive in an attempt to build a personal relationship with a possible narc, they wondered later "why are you so polite? Why so much warmth? What do you want from me? Money?". It did not go well. They asked for forgiveness and another chance and then rolled out a long list of how exactly they wanted me to be, what i was to do, who to i had quit communicating with, and especially, what plans and dreams and desires i had to give up in order for them to even wanna start ... well, literally using me. Nope, it did not work out.

[@cassandra5390]

They certainly DO NOT understand what the word NO means. They seem to think stalking is perfectly okay. They will also deliberately sabotage someone and then try to come in to "save, rescue or help" you and like to think of themselves as being a "hero" for having done so. My life is nonstop and constantly plagued by narcisisstic people. Im so sick of it. All of these behaviors they exhibit most certainly proves they do not understand the meaning of love. Love means ONE THING; DO UNTO OTHERS AS YOU WOULD HAVE DONE UNTO YOURSELF. they simply can not do this.

[@Jane-bk5nj]

They cannot reflect goodness in a heartfelt and sincere way without having a hidden agenda. They simply don't get the concept of love the way normal people do. It's really such a sad disposition they suffer.

[@lienlael3196]

Oh yes Dr Carter. You speak with your heart and I am very greatful for your expositions.

[@anitagill8455]

I wish I had found these videos a lot earlier, but still I find the content extremely helpful and validating.

[@planetmchanic6299]

You don't have to look for love when it's where your coming from.

[@tanyadavis6138]

Ohhhh, I like that!

[@jonnuanez2843]

Narcissists see people as trophies, items, prizes, etc. A person is not real. They are there to serve them for more than just "do as I say" but more "I need you to reflect me". There is no independence from them. And they are manipulators, so you become the boiled frog by the time you catch yourself in this type of relationship. It's exhausting being around these people, yet this is second nature for them.

[@peggyhopper7005]

Heat breaking. 50 years of marriage to a narcissist. I didn't understand until I started watching Dr, Carter. I've taken all the blame all these years. Too late for me.

[@e.conboy4286]

Wow! After 57 years, I am totally drained of spirit and hope. But I am stuck. Doubt significant other cares.At 83 y/o and constant lack of affirmative affection, not much to hope. Please keep me in your prayers. Thank you.elizabeth

[@lt827]

I wish some narcissists I know were satisfied once I did everything they ask. Several of them I know just keep raising the bar. This way no one else is ever good enough.

[@cyndymcfarlin8537]

Married 26 years. I have known for many many years he was a narcissist. But finding this site. Makes me feel like I'm not on an island all by myself. Seriously 26 years trap

[@edgreen8140]

Perfection as a defense against envy. Because if they envy themself, envy carries w it destroying the envied person. They don't want to destroy themselves but it will happen due to their lack of insight and knowledge. Love includes object constancy and insight.

[@sofiagoudaropoulou2392]

Love is an investment for ourselves first!!by living with goodness and decency, it's our business!! narcissists cannot see the challenges with a different way!!they do not know what love is exactly!!we give our best self in a relationship,and we are responsible for our family too!!narcs are responsible for themselves!! it's up to them to evolve or not!!

[@priscillakass3634]

Yes it's always conditional with a narcissist and yes if they do something for you you owe him for whatever it is

[@jimmycoco6506]

This information is absolutely spot on. Anybody who is in a relationship with a narcissist should watch this vid every couple of days to reinforce the reality of being with a narcissist. Understanding there version of love will help stop alot of confusion.

[@MegaMindyLou]

These videos help me so much. Narcissist is that guy doing the speed limit in the passing lane on the great highway of life. Legally he can do it, he thinks he’s helping everyone else not get a ticket but really he’s just controlling and slowing everyone else down.

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

Good analogy. Dr. C

[@Christian_1980]

What is love? Baby don't hurt me, don't hurt me, no more. What is love?

[@Xxsimply.catgrassxX]

Haddaway!✌🏽

[@charlottemuller2233]

I hear your heart!! You know Narcasist!! Can’t change them!! Have to redeem yourself!!!

[@maryjankowski9032]

My mom told me when I married the narcissist that he wasn't in love with me he was in lust . So true

[@KathrynBriley]

I have been teaching this for 30yeàrs. Thanks Dr.les for bringing to the forefront people who àre seeking selfimprovement. It is hard to NOT say anything when you see such dysfunctional tràits and behaviors. FIRST STEP. Psychologically aware SECOND STEP. Willingness to selfexàmining THIRD STEP. Acknowledging strengths and weàknesses FOURTH STEP. Don't be impulsive. Think/Pause take 10 to think things through. STEP FIVE. Make and keep Boundaries. Proactivity IS a key ràther than constànt reactive without thinking things through OR selfabsorption.

[@3lfruler]

I tried really hard to be understanding. But I got tired of him not being accountable for mistakes that were becoming a patterns. I said we must work on the inside thats the only way to heal. He told me "I don't need to work on the inside. I just had to change the outside (he used to be 150lbs heavier when he was younger) so girls like you would date me." It was a bullet in my heart, but that told me everything I needed to know about him. Just passed 2 months no contact. I had to block him on everything. I didn't want to get dragged in again. I miss the friendship. People I date tell me what I want hear. I want to believe them because I'm an honest person. It's been a reoccurring pattern. Im taking a long time off of dating or bring physical with anyone. I want to learn my boundaries and enforce them. I want to heal. I realized last year why I kept accepting the bare minimum with partners. My parents gave me the bare minimum and I was trying to find the love only a parent can give in people I dated.

[@berlyn4444]

These people are frustrating, especially when you have one as a parent... One 'good' conversation with my mom and I had myself convinced she isn't sick for nearly 24 hours. Then she stopped by again and I recalled some of the insults and manipulations she sprinkled into our 'good' conversation. I've had a phone for almost six months and haven't given her my # because I don't want to talk to her every day. She started stopping by 5 days a week since I said I need time to myself. I can't believe how delusional I got after one conversation... It is a roller coaster at this point. I pray the Lord will get me out of her reach soon.

[@izawaniek2568]

I want to be a difference maker in my world. Thank you for your support.

[@cindilmills5053]

My whole family is narcs and it hurts so bad I'm disabled and I don't want to be like them and yes I do feel your heart in your ministry. I have already learned and applies your suggestions. However I need so much more. God bless you and your family

[@camuyana]

Without hearing yet what doctor Carter has to say, I know this is very interesting and relatable. Looking forward to tomorrow for sure. see you all here tomorrow morning.

[@blankearth5840]

You can’t buy kindness. You can’t buy respect. You can’t buy loyalty and fairness. And, for sure, you can’t buy love. These things are only given for free. And only by those who were capable of all this from the beginning.

[@midnightcrywithkate]

I am to the point to where I care so much that I do not care any more. He has crossed a line and has taken something from me physically/emotionally that he can never return then turned it into that it is my fault. I have purposed in my heart to no longer care for him any longer...no matter how much I love him, for surivival, I need to no longer care. If that even makes sense.

[@telecastinater]

Excellent, well said talk ! When I'm around low vibration peeps I simply remove myself without condemning. I learned long ago trying to save them is a fruitless endeavour. Take care of yourself and be pleasant and kind.....

[@jessmci2742]

The one who cares the least controls the relationship.

[@desertgirlwarrior1921]

'I want to be a difference maker in my world' 🙌!! AMEN!! 🙏 Another gem to cling onto 🙏 You've NAILED it AGAIN Dr C!!! Your work is INVALUABLE to all of us who have suffered & continue to have to suffer this 'unique' type of personality, especially within the family. THANK God for you & your team...honestlyyyy... from the bottom of my heart🙏👏❤️ With love & gratitude ❤️

[@haroldcravens5927]

Since his confession to me in 2011. My wife turned completely into someone, who hates me enough to make every day a challenge!

[@erinntay]

Dr.C, you gave me the tools by sharing your knowledge with us out here, to make a decision that I had put off for over 3 years. I always got sucked back in. Once I UNDERSTOOD the narcissistic mind/behavior tactics, I could literally see/hear them coming mid-sentence with him. You saved me a lot more years (I am 46 w/ a young daughter) to be happy and safe with my child…and possibly a healthy relationship later in my future now that I KNOW what and why I went through the hell I just did. I went NO CONTACT the day he left and stuck to it! Haven’t looked at social media on his part, blocked all ways he could reach me to manipulate etc. I have never felt such RELIEF and PEACE as I do these days😊 THANK YOU DR. C! Truly thank you so very much 🙏🏼 YOU were a huge part in this big change!

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

Keep learning, Erin, and thanks for having me along on the journey! Dr. C

[@erinntay]

@@SurvivingNarcissism ❤️🙏🏼😉

[@nancythornton2947]

This is on time for me. My sister in law narcissist came to me after I Grey rocked and then no contact for two years. We belong to the same club, I stayed away during covid. Now I started going back to the club and she got me in the bathroom asking me what's my agenda, my end game??? Lol. I just repeated her question back to her and told her I had nothing more to say to her. God has gotten me thru so much and gave me the strength to stand up to her. Amen. I just smile at her and move on. ☺

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

If she asked for the sake of knowing you better, that would be one thing. If she asked for the sake of cranking up an argument, that's an entirely different matter. Narc's are known for the latter. Dr. C

[@nancythornton2947]

@@SurvivingNarcissism definitely the latter. She gives me nasty faces. I just smile at her. She's got my one sister ( flying monkey)to tell a friend not to believe anything I say. He asked me not to let it get back to her he told me. So sad. She is a classic narcissist. So is the sister. Sad but true.

[@MK-jc9ov]

"I'll take my investment and go somewhere else." LOVE THAT.

[@internationaltraveler1057]

This was one of the best for me Dr C. Because not only does it talk about the narcissist but it addresses what a good me looks like 😇💝

[@fourboys1gr]

Planning on leaving with my daughter out of state, leaving my 27 years of a Covert Narc Husband. I feel pulled at times to stay but way to much BS has gone on. He will think I am helping her and her future husband and baby ( which I am) just gonna come back and make it legal.

[@pnw_mainecoons6633]

Thank you so much these videos were able to free me and my husband from his toxic narcissistic mother & siblings This channel has been a godsend, a life saver for our well being & marriage thank you for all you guys do putting these videos together for those who want to be able to be free of narcissistic people in our lives and how to deal with them when we have to be recognizing what they are doing befor we get sucked in has been the Best Like Dr.Cater said once "ask yourself who's emergency is this? " asking myself that has saved me from so much unappreciated labor,, drama , verbal abuse ect.. Taught us how we can removed ourselves from Toxic narcissist moments My husband's family is LG 10 total with 8 kids my hubby the oldest, he has 1 parent toxic manipulative narcissist traits Mom was a covert narcissist but lost her beauty became a malignant narcissist and hates all her childrens new partners especially if your Female she doesn't like any of the grandchildren partners much either Then hubby has 3 siblings that with narcissist traits too so we limit family interactions

[@jwarrior852]

Obviously recognizing these characteristics helps in staying away from these people. Have you done a video on why we may attract these types?

[@c.h.8392]

Never become Ill in the care of a narcissist.

[@jonathansgarden9128]

As someone with a traumatic brain injury, the self control part is difficult , but i take meds and it does help. I filter what i say despite my impulse control issues

[@chilloften]

You simply cannot be a contented human being with narcs. That will anger them, you must be controlled.

[@ruthvansandt9713]

This is so helpful. Especially #3, acceptance over correctness. I’m 32 and in my first ever romantic relationship. I’ve had a lot of narcissists in my family/environment all my life. I’ve finally got through some fears but now I understand more of what they have been, as I was trying to figure out what mold to fill since that was a big part of most other relationships. My man is very accepting, even during disagreement, and it has baffled me, but now I see why. Thanks this helps me in awareness so I can work on removing that reaction from me. :)