4 Signs You Have a Fawn Trauma Response

Trauma responses are individuals’ immediate, automatic reactions when faced with a threat or danger. The fawn response is one of four main types, along with fight, flight, and freeze.
When people experience trauma, especially in childhood, they may develop the fawn trauma response as a way to try to avoid further harm, avoid conflict, or gain approval from others. This response involves trying to please others, often at the expense of one’s own needs.
Individuals who show behaviours of the fawn trauma response may have grown up in an environment where they felt unsafe or threatened, so they became hyper-vigilant to the needs and emotions of others to stay safe from harm or rejection.
It’s easy to think negatively about how you learnt to cope when subjected to childhood trauma. But the first part of healing is understanding that those coping strategies helped you survive at the time. By understanding that they once served a necessary purpose, we can begin to let them go from a place of love.

[@musicrj1]

These four things can also occur when an autistic individual isn't aware that they actually have Autism. Going through many years of your life struggling with Autism but unaware you've got it, can result in symptoms/problems that are very similar to how PTSD/trauma affects the individual. Suffering with PTSD makes the individual more vulnerable, and walking about with Autism unaware of it also makes the individual more vulnerable. Both are pretty dangerous situations to be in (in your head), and even though both are in the mind/brain and outsiders can't really see either from the outside (especially PTSD), it's easy for the individual to give off that vibration unconsciously that says "I'm vulnerable". Getting treated for PTSD/trauma is essential to get the "processing" work done so that we feel stronger and less vulnerable. And individuals out there who have Autism but have no idea they've got it... hard to say, but I had to stop everything one day, and really step outside of myself and pay attention to myself and stop allowing others to keep pushing me around (because Autism was mentioned to me twice in different ways...some kind of strange synchronicity), and look into what Autism really was. I got my diagnosis when I was nearly 40, but it could have been much worse. Now that I've conquered the PTSD and learned to get to know myself as an autistic female, life is less risky, less worrying and less dangerous for me. I hope this comment helps some of you, and wish those of you who are suffering much happiness and calmness asap.

[@user-pc4vc7ob7c]

Hey lovely thank you for your very informative comment, may I ask where or how u get a diagnosis for Autism and adhd as the Mental ppl have locked me up countless times but can never seem to diagnose me and I'll be honest I'm sick of not knowing why I am the way I am, why I think feel and act differently to others and why I'm constantly getting arrested and institutionalised every year since 2017 doing good so far this year though pray for me hehe. No seriously pray for me please 🙏

[@musicrj1]

@@user-pc4vc7ob7c I'll pray for you for sure. It depends where you live. In the UK we have massive waiting lists to get the diagnostic interview for Autism, and in some areas people are waiting 5 years. (It makes me wonder where our taxes are really going.) I think probably best to go to your doctor and ask them to refer you to an Autism specialist for assessment? We are blessed with the internet so if you do an online search for traits of Autism, this will give you an idea. It was my research that really helped me the most. If you are struggling to calm down (a feeling I know well) I'd definitely also try doing some Qigong exercises - the 8 Brocades are fantastic. I choose 2 or 3 and do them every day. These exercises teach us to breathe properly while moving, and they can even reduce/beat illnesses (whether cancer, anxiety, PTSD, arthritis etc). You pay nothing to do them. (Recently a nasty person began bullying me in a subtle way - I picked up on it 2 months after it began because the Autism can cause a slow realisation. I messaged that person and confronted them in the most diplomatic way possible. They have now vanished! I then had to stick a label on them, which was "weak", and then tell myself that my inner peace is my priority, not giving my attention to some bullying idiot. All this helped me to get rid of the chaos in my head.)

[@peaceofmindofpeace1650]

Omg giving my energy and become subject to environment. New job day 2 and I already feel bad and as if ppl think I'm weird and incapable. Which is strange bc when I was in between jobs I felt overall confident. I said sorry to a colleague for asking another question. She said: you don't have to say sorry ( not in a demeaning way but I feel immediate concern how I'm showing myself) I miss myself. I'm going to look for wfh job I'm used to it and I don't care if it's avoiding It's my life

[@gillianm9367]

Most people feel like this when they start a new job, some people just hide it better. Ask as many questions as you need to, the only stupid question is the one you don't ask. Stop being so hard on yourself- you have done well to land this job. It's good to push yourself out of your comfort zone. Why not make a promise to yourself to give it 3 months at least? I know its challenging but I was exactly the same in my first job and ended up staying and doing well❤

[@peaceofmindofpeace1650]

@@gillianm9367 Hi thank you for your reply, aporeciated :) yes I wanted to give it a chance but..the manager came up to me bc I didn't do enough files yet..lol I was just getting a feel with the systems and like you wrote I decided to give it a chance and make it work lime I always did and it never failed but this time it did. He told me not to feel bad bc ppl before me also left bc it was a mismatch and bc it's a scale up company the pressure and control are extra. Well I'm used to dynamic and pressure, I have many years of experience but this job is more about quantity and the manager is ob top of everyone "is your list finished yet?" I understand it, it's his job and I did my best but on day 3 I'm told I'm not fast enough lol Well...another experience and these things happen too. I already have a video call for remote work so I can travel. If the manager would not have brought it up I definately would have continued to see how it would go but it has been decided for me. I agree with what you said, out of my comfortzone but it affected my concentration and of they don't give me a chance to get comfortable and handy it is what it is. I have worked in office 18 years so jeah..my wish is freelance and the videocall will be for freelance work. We will see.

[@sweetspirit444]

How does one unlearn this? For some reason, it’s not as simple as “just don’t do it”. I have a fawning response and it is ruining my life. It has made me a toxic person and I end up causing more hurt for everyone. I want to be better

[@peaceofmindofpeace1650]

@@LovesNeverEnding I think I feel things like ppl's insecurities and non-verbal stuff which ppl don't show. I felt it at an office this week. Partially my own feelings but I felt tension bc I was new there but 2 others as well. One next to me kept saying " this is easy I already finished my list". Young ones btw and maybe they weren't even insecure but I did feel tension. Also, each time I looked to the left, to my laptop screen ( using two screens) he looked up as if I was looking at him 🙄 I felt controll as if he was annoyed by me but I was looking at my screen. Projection perhaps idk I was busy with my own stuff and he responded to my every move. It's only in moments but sitting in such a vibe 8 hours is pretty tiring.

[@user-pc4vc7ob7c]

Just come out of an 8 year battle with this on and off well all my life so far but NOT ANYMORE I'M GOOD ,KIND I MATTER AND I WILL NOT BE DUMBED DOWN BY ANOTHER EVER AGAIN, THE PRICE CAN BE FATAL IF YOU'RE AROUND EVIL SELFISH PEOPLE MAN TRUST ME DON'T DO IT THEY ISOLATE YOU AND DRAIN THE LIFE OUT OF YOU

[@mdk2901]

Correct

[@corinneyaworski-mh9uc]

This sounds too much like me! Safer to just put on an act. Safer I think😮😢

[@kateharrop4905]

I did all of that. I lost my family by staying with the abuser. I got mad enough to kick him out. I divorced him and moved away. I am still going through some of these.

[@claudiasbarra1044]

Thank you.

[@sharon-py7os]

My God. Thank you

[@jvillalobos9795]

Yeah this one hurt

[@tatjanadodic4952]

Yes

[@user-nf6do6vp7p]

True so true

[@matikramer9648]

People pleasing 20years ago Self rejection 20 years ago Then my ex hoovering, and same with my mom did a trick on me Pitty about waisted time and effort, good because I gave shelter, roof and food and possible support for my children, dumped by their father and second wife... We all survived, most of us in no contact with my ex... Point 3 war 26 years ago Point 4 I am struggling now cause my surroundings aren't really mentally healthy

[@tupelohoney622]

Yep.

[@BGZ2022]

I’m all of this 😢how to break this?

[@charisebell2241]

Why does this remind me of Trump supporters? 😢

[@allengiordano8787]

I see your sad face.. you’ve really got to overcome the concept of what “other” people do.. invest in your own thinking.

[@peaceofmindofpeace1650]

Trump has won in the election fraud case I just heard on the news Ppl call him a nsrcissist but it's a form of shaming and bullying him We judge based on media and public moments. MJ was also accused and ridiculed but he worked to bless not just himself but also others

[@wlhansen2068]

That's actually funny, because it's probably true