5 Deadly “Nice Girl” Habits That Kill Your Love Life | Relationship Advice for Women by Mat Boggs

[@matboggs]

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[@angelahennessy9831]

1. Seeking his approval first 2. Making excuses for him 3. Constantly draining your tank to fill his...giving more to him than what he is giving you 4. Take full ownership of issues and not expect him to take his share 5. Not revealing your unhappiness to keep the peace

[@AnthonyWonhy]

Definitely, these things make men loss hope and truth.. I hope a get someone as understanding as you

[@hottymanhollybey5721]

I agree, open communication and mutual respect are key in any relationship. It's important for both partners to take responsibility for their own actions and work together to resolve any issues that arise

[@zainabhasanova5221]

“You don’t date potensial, you date reality”👌👌👌

[@MariamSabaArt]

Thanks Mat! I think another deadly nice girl habit that sabotaged things for me in the long run was not saying "no" to him out of fear that I'd create conflict or tension. Not saying "no" was just another way I didn't show up authentically, nor make my needs equal priority to his, and we couldn't really gauge our compatibility accurately.

[@barbarakelly1916]

Wow! Many "senior single women" like me will probably have some of these habits, because of the times and culture in which we were raised. If one comes from a service profession (in my case, education) , odds are much higher for self-sabotage. The self-sabotage habits are based on fear (of not being liked, of being alone, etc.). I have learned that focus on one's values (honesty, openness, etc.) and living by them , with the realization that one may live alone (and that that's okay) works for me. The bad "nice girl' habits I have are going away. I am making changes in all my relationships (men, women, organizations) , considering "goodness of fit, for me" . Maybe it's "too soon old"; but it's never too late to be smart! Thanks, Mat, for your helpful videos!!!

[@AnthonyWonhy]

Yes definitely.. I agree with you.. You understand so we'll. I hope I find someone as understanding as you my dear

[@micilovesami]

I love how you respect both women and men and talk about EQUALITY (which Feminism is fighting for) and do not make excuses for men or think you are entitled. You are amazing, thanks for helping us :)

[@bxi2010]

I totally feel these five sabotaging traits… I so related to these. I’ve been dating a guy for the past months, he lives 1000 km away from my place. So to meet him, I set up an online date with him (tomorrow morning). He then said it would be so much nicer to be side by side on the date (as we had originally planned). So today I offered to look for a flight. The flight lands two hours before the date, so perfect. In the afternoon today he calls me to tell me we would have to grab some stuff he and his friends need for the repair of their cars. …I was not very cool, but still didn’t ask him if he had lost his mind. I just reminded him that we had had a date planned and that due to his work schedule this upcoming week we would have a lot of quality time together… in the end I wrote him a message that the stuff seems to be really important to him and that he should do what he thinks is necessary. Honestly, guys, I’m out of the game. I’ll take the flight tomorrow and book a nice hotel with some nice treats throughout the week for me. And yes, I am disappointed tk the core. I feel so played… And yes, I know, some of the sabotage I did myself …

[@kerrychampagne9255]

Ohhhh gee. I've done all of them. I have serious work to do! I gotta rewatch this one until I get it deep to the core. Growth is coming. Thankyou 🎉

[@AnthonyWonhy]

Hello Kerry, we could work out together. I have been searching for a partner.. let's get to know each other more and I hope we could pull up something nice.

[@maryscanlan4040]

I did all those things, because of his job, family. But I’m learning to be better. Thanks

[@mariannam7549]

That is SO me! Things have to change! Thank you so much.

[@oar-N-oasis]

"As long as it is one sided, it's not a real relationship" .. been there, I know exactly how it feels.

[@alexaverona4529]

Excellent video, very important to know before getting into any relationship I’m definitely a nice girl and everything he said is true

[@richardbrown2376]

Hi Mat l believe in having your own values and self worth and all through my life l have expected to be treated right . I was taught from my grandma in my teenage years to accept any nice gifts and kindness from the men who took me out and if that was not the case you don’t see them again. I guess that is not being a nice girl because you are only accepting what is best for you but not hurting anyone. I am 61 and l can assure anyone it has been good for me who ever l have met .❤

[@tiffanywarren1605]

Nice one, Mat! Some NGH that I have noticed with some of my gal pals is when they are constantly putting their guy on a pedestal, and you can see his ego inflating. The worst is when they tell him all of your personal business to win him (I guess), and he thinks he has an open invitation to judge you. Irritating. 😊

[@hottymanhollybey5721]

It can definitely be frustrating when someone shares your personal information without your consent. It's important to set boundaries and communicate with your partner about what you are and are not comfortable sharing. It's also important to make sure that both partners are treating each other with respect and not putting one person on a pedestal.

[@welovetennis9151]

I love these video so helpful❤❤❤Thank You!

[@arleenromano7786]

Thanks so much Matt! Lesson learned......changing my ways starting today!! 👍

[@nazaninasadi-yn2yu]

one of the best videos from u dear mat❤ thanks alot❤

[@michellesmith-goldberg5080]

Thanks Mat! I really needed to hear that! Love your videos! ❤❤❤

[@Milldirt]

Dear Matt. I just experienced it all backfiring on me. I did not make the nice girl mistakes. I did it all right as you explain. True, it kept him semi committed for a couple of months and everything was good. I then decided to open up and invest more and stand my ground on what exactly I wanted from him... he bailed on me with no warning... because I had done those things. So be carefull to advice this as the only and true way to go. I just lost a great guy because of it.

[@nottherealmccoy9862]

Just today a guy who was going to drive 2+ hours for our date that we planned for 2 weeks ( first date) cancelled 15 minutes before… seemed to me that if he respected me he would have told me when he knew his “family stuff” came up instead of right as I was walking out the door. I was not happy and told him I was sorry for his problems but felt disrespected and stood up. Felt bad about it at the time but I need to see that I was holding my frame. He knew hours before the date otherwise he would have been here already.

[@hollywisconsin]

wow thank you for this information!

[@tushiro466]

God bless you, Matt. Keep being a gift. And take extra care of yourself please.

[@JS-mh1fh]

Exactly what i needed to hear today. Thank you!

[@AnthonyWonhy]

Hello mama you look pretty.. don't mind if we chat more. Sorry for asking inappropriately

[@hottymanhollybey5721]

Glad it helps out

[@julieberg5951]

Thanks Matt you have opened my eyes I have done all the nice habits in last relationship especially the last one,he invited me over to his place but he would be always on this phone when I was talking I let behaviour go on for sometime until one day will I didn’t actually explode I just stopped talking and he noticed this and asked if was ok and I said yep in very annoyed voice he knew why I was mad and put his phone down anyway eventually he ended things which really hurt at the time but now I look at it and we weren’t compatible

[@danakolpin1289]

I went through the process as I was always the nice girl. Being the nice girl always gets taken advantage of.

[@mirembeleahaisha]

Wow Mathew Boggs, it's like you're speaking to me, I have been more of a nice than quality gal. Thank you for opening my eyes especially on no. 4.

[@suuzq02]

TRUE THAT!!!!!! Good job bro 😎

[@dariaaria2576]

Thank you, Mat!

[@Sapphireblue456]

Thank you Matthew. You are my wake up call.

[@mucheychimezie5436]

This came in timely. Been a nice guy to my bestie and he isn't connecting to me, esp because am guilty of ALL you've said Matt! Thanks for pulling me out of this! Implementing straight off😢

[@rezotydnic]

I needed this info a few years ago....

[@celestinebennett212]

Just what I needed to hear it's like a breaking point" a breath of fresh air" ..I have been a nice girl and that's the problem, Am too polite and it's true there is so much one can take but later on it explodes badly like a dormant volcano erupting. people always want to change you and not accept who you are. I used to be a lingerie model part-time and wanted to study Sexology, I love to cook, Spend time with my friends because they tell you the truth ..every guy I have ever introduced to my friends always says you are too good for him or you are too smart for him or you are not compatible and at the end of the day you find out they were right Dating in 2023 is very tricky and I have decided what's best for me "Long distance relationship" I have always done so well in that kind of relationship and am sure know God is directing me back to that kind of relationship ..No more being a nice girl Thank you so much i, will use this information to my own advantage😇

[@ClaudiaAndreaTV]

You rock!! I needed this! 🙌🏼

[@gummay818]

Hi Matt.. Can you make a video on more about how to share our disappointment on #5. My fear is when I think about telling him my concerns is that am I looking like a whiny girl or that I'm complaining. How can I communicate that comes off as quality woman? - Example is he came back from vacation, hurt his hip. So I helped him with his chores and we weren't able to do much fun thing on our date. Then next week he got busy with work. Then finally when work week is over I thought maybe he would be turning his attention on us. Instead he went straight to doing something for himself.. Going rock climbing. I felt like the relationship got one sided here. How can I differentiate is this something concerning or bad timing (injury plus busy work week).

[@dashiajames1882]

Goodmorning: Excuses part was great. I have seen some women actually make excuses for a guy. I usually do something like that I always put someone else's needs ahead of my owns. But I'd never make an excuse for a guy. I'm straightforward & very real. So I'm going tell why he couldn't do this or that. Some of the nice girl habits that might help me is definitely letting him choosing the things I don't wanna do/want. Stop going with the flow. I truly needed to hear this I'm single I wanna get back into the dating world. This can help me. Thanks alot..🙂🙂

[@hottymanhollybey5721]

It's great that you know what you want and are willing to communicate it to your partner. It's important to set boundaries and make sure that both partners are treating each other with respect. Good luck with your dating journey!

[@Kann841]

We were Raised to be the nice girl, we must refrain our brains That broken record in our head. I let go of a great guy because he was all about himself. We got along great, wanted the same Things in life, he was desiring marriage, good faith but the reason I broke it off was our lives didn’t blend. He was all about himself and HIS family. Hardest thing I’ve done in a long time. But if I was truly gonna let myself be happy , I Had to stop the nice girl and constantly making sacrifices for others God wants us respected, cherished, balanced. You can’t give to others when you barely take care of yourself!!

[@christyrobinson6827]

Thank you for this advice matt ❤

[@mariajosecampos4084]

Mat Boggs, your videos are true blessings!. Thank you.

[@matboggs]

I appreciate that!

[@elia5038]

I met someone and it's been rocky he wants me to go and give him the money so i can go there, i told him it's better to come to me, i've gone my way to show him my trust, yet he questions me about where i am, what am doing, i just told him plainly how i feel, basically, i love this guy, set my boundaries. we were going to get married, he lives in Jordan, i live in the state of kentucky, i postponed everything this second time, he has prioritiies and basically i feel like i'm second instead of first in his life,,, help!!!

[@yurimaperez1145]

Thank you for another great video ❤

[@marciamellow1211]

Five times ... I don't think so..bye bye first time... my favorite saying.. I am known for...ready, " hope you do not like me too much"... I do not put up with any excuse.. boom

[@shamrockgirl6595]

I see myself in this 🎥 video 😢. Thanks for the eye-opening presentation.

[@practicalbaat955]

Thank you

[@lunikabray4431]

holding back tough convos cause u dont want to freak him out or hurt him. I hate it so much, I am a blunt person n accept n need the same. for some reason i cant seem to tell him things that might hurt his feelings or sensitive topics. then i get a buzz n it all comes out n hes like ew lmao

[@DarlitaStephens]

I've been guilty of many of these things, at one time or another, in the past. Actually, I used to be too nice, in general. That's what my problem is. I have been loyal, trusting, and trustworthy to the wrong people for too long.

[@oeu10]

Wow one of your best videos👌

[@shaivyasrivastava4217]

thanks !!

[@jacirisser1623]

Great video and advice

[@FlamingCockatiel]

1. Seeking his approval first. Instead, assess him equally. 2. Making excuses for him 3. Constantly draining your tank to fill up his cup. Sometimes you need more help than he does. Prioriitze each other. 4. Taking full ownership of the conflict rather than holding him accountable for his part. Conflict leads to connection only if both parties take ownership for what they did. 5. Not showing your unhappiness because you're trying to be easy going Guilty especially of number 5

[@patriciabenavente5124]

The fact of not stating our needs is because how we have been raised. We've never acknowledged our right to our opinions and needs and would feel guilty or selfish if we would ever do that because that would mean, according to our childhood programming, that we are bad, and we don't want to see ourselves as a bad person. That's why we do anything in our power to please others, to continue to see ourselves as good, because if we see ourselves as bad we couldn't stand the self-rejection, self-hatred and self-criticism resulting from not giving ourselves up to whatever others ask of us.

[@SherrysReviewsandResearch]

Another great video. (: The background is off though. Its darker and looks odd on camera vs. the usual. Change it back?

[@sharonkatamei]

Thanks Mat 😊

[@suuzq02]

Water your authentic self

[@peterpisspotty3052]

Great advice

[@Mywatercrystaltv]

Thank you......

[@amylafrance680]

literally was volcano woman yesterday... idk if hes gonna reach out to me but I am thinking regardless, that i dodged a bullet ...its still embarrassing and hurtful tho

[@shakirahasad1010]

Thanks a lot that's all I can say now

[@Kann841]

1. Don’t be afraid to ask for what you need from him. If he can’t change and keep You feeling cherished and respected…walk. Guys will Be fake enough to “get you.” Once they know you’re truly inlove with them, they csn revert to Their bad behavior…so take your time. Make sure he’s not giving you sacs of BS!!

[@neetu2540]

I want to learn to be ok if he doesn't want to meet that often. I get into fights with them if they didn't make plans to meet and that doesnt work as they still don't make you a priority when making plans but run away instead. Even though they are highly attracted and in love. I come from a place of fear that maybe i am not important. But how much ever i ask, reason, beg, get angry, they still put me at the back of the line. Please make a video on how to get the guy to want to pursue you and want to meet at every opportunity they can.

[@nannaed7833]

Do nothing. Prioritizing reciprocity (responding only according to effort given = receptive feminine energy). Show that you can distance and redirect your attention away to refocus on your own needs instead of trying harder and attending to theirs. They will come back if they feel the same way about you. Plus if not, you are free to explore yourself again to find what you actually need.

[@neetu2540]

@@nannaed7833 I have anxious attachment style and I get very insecure when weekend is approaching and I don't hear from them on plans. I tried to make myself unavailable by making alternate plans but when they don't ask at all I start to get fearful and that leads to me asking them why and then an argument or fight. This makes them not ask me even more next time. Its a vicious circle. My attachment style is the problem. I cannot distract myself as mind plays games.

[@arckocsog253]

If he doesn’t want to meet you as often as you’d like, he’s not the one. You need a guy, who makes you happy not anxious

[@debbieyearsley7424]

Telling someone the truth about themselves all talk & no action after the 3rd time of being let down .. Now getting Ghosted completely by them

[@annae.9006]

This was BRILLIANT, thank you Mat!!! 💚

[@matboggs]

Glad you enjoyed it!

[@annae.9006]

@@matboggs It's not just that I enjoyed it, I actually found it life-changing (I know it sounds extreme, but I had never heard anyone joining all the dots for me the way you just did...). Thanks again!! 💚

[@camuyana]

I might like a man who's involved with another woman but I will not even touch him with a 10-ft pole. I respect and do not wish to cause harm to her. Several women got involved with my ex-husband and it is the most disgusting feeling when that woman did so. Even if I was not ever harmed that way, I would never cause sadness to another woman with that behavior. He would have to be completely available and that's the only reason I would pursue him. I don't put myself on hold for anybody either.

[@AnthonyWonhy]

Yeah, your absolutely right but most men aren't that way.. why don't we chat more and get to know each other dear.

[@LewisRick-sc7jj]

Beautiful 😍

[@camuyana]

@@AnthonyWonhy like I mentioned, he is involved with somebody else and I'm not one to be befriending in order to get him. When he has a fight with her he'll come to me like thinking that I am the one next in line for him. When you put yourself in that place you're bound to have that happened to you because no woman has anything special. Infidelity is a choice a man or woman makes and you should not be the cause or provoke any chance for it to occur. All infidelity start with a conversation that seemed innocent and then turns around.

[@euphory]

Another really helpful video. Thank you Mat!

[@APlusSolutionsLtd]

I did exactly same but unfortunately he insisted not to understand 😂 I think best is to pull back.

[@APlusSolutionsLtd]

@@jeongminjung 🙏🏽

[@eleonoraslovokhotova1752]

Damn, I am such a nice girl, all 5, working on it 😂

[@joymacasieb9540]

Omg 😳 I’m the nice girl that’s me I just learned I self abuse wow Matt 😭

[@MassageDiaries]

Very good Mat, some of this I do, some he does😅

[@MassageDiaries]

@@PhilipJames-hx3gp hi! Thanks 😊

[@doncallaway6944]

I scored 4 out of 5. I’m definitely a “nice Guy”

[@RobinL-r3s]

This is obviously geared towards under 30 females or gals who are financially dependent on men 👍 big N/A on all of that lol

[@Kann841]

He was all about himself. 90 percent of time !! He would hurry to end our calls to take a call that was non emergency over and over and over, his family and friends would constantly be allowed to interrupt our dates, he would not use my name but call me pet names all the time, he was infatuated with me and rarely asked me questions to get to know me…my fault was waiting 6 months to finally realize this. He needed a Spouse to contribute financially so that he could retire affordably. He was in a rush to marry after only knowing me 3 months, he was shallow!! I realized too late his intentions were not because he was truly inlove. He was in lust and in need!!

[@kathleenjohnson2166]

Thanks, Mat. I always take things away from your presentations.

[@AnthonyWonhy]

Hello Kathleen. You look wonderful. What do you say we get to know more about each other

[@amberdavis9044]

1. Seeking his approval first - So, try to get his approval first and instead, assessing him equally. 2. Making excuses for him - So, claim what you want. Create a vision that you are aligned with and that’s what then you will draw into your life faster than you even imagined possible. 3. Constantly draining your tank to fill his cup (Which means you’re putting himself first and not yourself) - So, create a brand new dynamic in that relationship. Starting by love yourself and let him prove for for. 4. Taking full ownership of conflict instead of holding him accountable for his part - So, instead of avoiding conflicts, you have to move through those conflicts and restore the connection. Only when both people own their side of the street and then seek to reconcile. 5. Not revealing your unhappiness because you’re trying to be easygoing - So, instead of being cool about his plan he forgot or he’s unavailable because he already had plans, you just have to be understanding, but also true authentic to yourself, and share emotional process. For instant, instead of being cool woman to volcano woman, just be cool woman to quality woman.

[@KA-kv1kq]

Low maintenance woman hurts the relationship long term. You know: I don't need flowers, big dates. We can just date for fun! Then they get upset years down the line when they're still not married and they don't get anything (dates, flowers etc) from their partner anymore.

[@shubhavida6961]

Already sabotaged watched this video too late I travelled across the country to see him and got ghosted too

[@matboggs]

That jus means he wasn’t your true man. Todays a new day ❤

[@naowright9308]

I wish I knew this when I was 18.

[@traceylamping6981]

Oh god, I’ve just learned that I’m a “nice girl”. 😳

[@rajwinderkaur7786]

His father was a police man, All his family doing villain type actions with the surrounding people I can tell you many stories of the past you will be surprise to hear them.

[@shamrockgirl6595]

I'm fairly new to your channel 📺 & need to know how to meet guys. Have you created a video 📹 on that subject? I know there are online singles site, but I feel like there are better options.

[@candysymchyshyn7075]

A nice girl habit is always trying to help I'm not really sure how to put yours are offering to no matter what

[@ladycc3573]

Great advice I wish I would have heard it 30 years ago. I'm guilty of all five and sure that's why I have the past I have.

[@lifelyliving3428]

A lot of men don't really like "nice"

[@joymacasieb9540]

Lol also I can identify as volcano woman 😂

[@rajwinderkaur7786]

You don't know ,I know many things about him His father was a police man,he know many mind games,all his family is doing villain type actions with the surrounding s I can tell the many stories of past.

[@foxerrr7864]

Uuuuugh I’m a nice girl 🤦🏻‍♀️

[@maggiemaggie2685]

How to make a connection with men in the first place if you don't like bars and you don't like online dating. Match platforms.

[@HHH81]

They are all sort of the same. Focus on having a good filter and perhaps try an actual match maker or dating coach.

[@gloriahoulihan8717]

Personally I'd rather have a dog. I think men would find me irritating as I do things like watch butterflies drinking the nectar from flowers and swans with their young. I watched men shopping with their wives and girlfriends today and some of them were absolutely fuming 😊 Men should buy women perfume and let them loose with their credit cards and go for a burgher.

[@JudyChilds-fu4em]

Nice means stupid anyway?

[@daynaafflick8453]

I’m guilty of all of these things 🫣