5 Habits That Keep Your Avoidant Ex Away (forever)

[@Jennyfenty-n1b]

I recently experienced a challenging split. It has been really difficult since my five-year relationship ended a few months ago. My ex-boyfriend is still very much in my heart, and I can't seem to stop thinking about him. Nothing has worked in my attempts to get him back, and at this point, it seems impossible to be with anybody else. I realize it may seem strange to admit this, but I miss him terribly and think about him constantly.

[@QueenJessica-z5j]

I completely understand the pain of letting go of someone you love. I went through a similar experience when my 10 year relationship ended. I couldn't imagine my life without him, so I tried everything to rekindle our love. I eventually found guidance from a spiritual counselor, and their support helped me bring him back into my life if you're open to it, seeking help from a spiritual counselor might make a difference.

[@Jennyfenty-n1b]

How did you find your spiritual counselor, and how can I get in touch with them?

[@QueenJessica-z5j]

His name is Father Obah Eze and he's an incredible spiritual counselor known for helping restore relationships.

[@QueenJessica-z5j]

He can assist you; he is Father Obah Eze, and he possesses immense powers.

[@Jennyfenty-n1b]

I simply used your useful information to look him up online. Amazing I looked up Father Obah Eze online, and he seems like a sincere person. Again, thank you ❤

[@joaquinapagado762]

If a dismissive avoidant left you, think of it as a blessing and move on. If they do come back, THEY WILL LEAVE YOU AGAIN! Quit listening to these KZbin "Coaches" that try and tell you how to get them back!

[@blizzart9191]

I think they can heal if they go to therapy. But you should not wait for that or bet on it.

[@equalitarianbiologist2327]

Some Avoidants are so Severely Avoidant that they are heavily deactivated in multiple reflective thought paths and thus they are dormant, mentally in freeze mode, or flop mode, or snob mode... And They feel content and best surviving in hermit mode, in the recluse way of life. They accept their own allergic like reactivity towards another's hopes, wishes and basic requisites, because their accepted allergies do function as that triggerable Kryptonite, getting in to effect once they feel some pressure button annoying them and so they spiral down and basically tunnel themselves down away from you. THAT is how we should view it. They aren't just Avoidants, aren't just "Runners", "Recluses", they are committed to be non•relational. For deeper reasons of trauma, conditioning, PTSD, neurology or some stronger Aromantic profile (there's 16 types of Aromantics). Learning about Aromantics, as well about influential level ADHD in relating, and the destructive ego. CAN be a very good AID FOR DETACHMENT

[@blizzart9191]

@equalitarianbiologist2327 are you a psychologist or biologist now? :p okay, but back to topic... so you would say it's hopeless, even if they're getting "wiser," acknowledging their issues and starting to self reflect?

[@luketimewalker]

@@equalitarianbiologist2327 very interesting

[@liammoltubakk2139]

Impeccable timing

[@stephensummers1958]

YUP

[@GregMunro]

Great video, there is nothing like a perfect marriage or relationship, I learnt that in everything there is always a solution, 5 years ago I and my wife divorced because we were having some difficulties in our marriage but we are back together ,it was a really bad phase but we got through it.

[@TrentReeves-c2k]

there is a lot of sense in what you just said and I hope mine works the same way too, we are currently separated but I cant live without her, I love her so much. wish I can get her back I can do anything to have her back, we have tried therapy amongst other things

[@GregMunro]

its always difficult to let someone you love go, but in my case I had the help of a spiritual adviser who saved my marriage from collapsing her name is SHELLY RENEE WHITE.

[@TrentReeves-c2k]

this is helpful, I will look her up. I hope this works for me too, I really miss her.

[@GregMunro]

look up shelly Renee white online, you will find all you need. thank you

[@stephensummers1958]

MAN. 1 and 2 is what I am doing. I am usually a secure person. But my wife has WRECKED me this past year. I may also have done 3... but with GOOD reason. And yes, I am being stonewalled. I've been avoiding number 4 and only talking about future positive stuff. And yeah... I've done 5. UGHHHHHHHHHH lmao. I needed this video. THANK YOU.

[@TallmanSE]

Humbling video. Thanks!

[@08akaneshi]

I hit all the 5 habits 😅 I got tired and did the no contact. I guess it was for 3 months. Then she came back, she said she misses me. We went on a date and did physical intimacy. We did this for a couple of 2 months. However, she doesn't want to commit. Last year in December she pulled away again and started giving me this hot and cold treatment. She wanted to be alone and asked for space, saying she regrets all the things she did wrong to me and saying things like I don't deserve love, I'm not good enough. She's thinking a lot of things but she can't say them and wants to solve them alone.

[@Apbt-rv7zw]

@08akaneshi Yep you are deep in the DA wash cycle. I feel for you. Remember to look after yourself. Your DA partner won't care, but really look after yourself.

[@marguskiis7711]

She will leave for good.

[@Apbt-rv7zw]

1. Nope, I don't chase 2. Nope, I never had those deep talks or long messages. 3. Nope, I encouraged her to take space when she needed. 4. My wife a very heavy past. I never once brought it up or wanted to bring up any old wounds. 5. Nope, we were married and then she walked away. Never chased her or badgered her about commitment as we were already married.

[@marguskiis7711]

Women never come back. They will find another man soon.

[@jpscott126]

Hahaha this is me the anxious one and her the avoidant. Bang on.

[@stephensummers1958]

I cant afford the $100-200 to meet with you. But I will try to get the money together soon. Clearly I need to because this video was MEANT for me. I've watched COUNTLESS videos on DA's but this is the only one that targeted me on EVERYTHING it talked about.

[@Seal550]

Well..i'm cooked

[@markoj3512]

Dump her, never take your Ex back

[@scorazo]

Fearful avoidant left due to fear and past traumas, should i stay in no contact (2 weeks now) or reach out once each in a while? She still check ly stories and reposts stuff that are emotionally targeted at me (in a good way)

[@truthsmiles]

The standard advice is to respect her choice to leave and give her space. This demonstrates an understanding of her needs, and it shows a level of self-respect and that you can meet your own needs. Further, the general advice is to either not respond or give a very short non-committal response any time she reaches out UNLESS she demonstrates a clear desire for change and reconciliation. Note that it’s VERY easy to fool ourselves into thinking she really wants change, so you must wait for her to take direct responsibility and open a discussion about growing and a path forward. Don’t be like me and fall for breadcrumbs like, “Hey, just thinking about you and wondering how you’re doing?” That is not taking any kind of responsibility. It’s just a test to see if you’re still on the hook. Don’t fall for it. Best of luck. I know this is hard.

[@stephensummers1958]

@@truthsmiles mannnn my DA wife of 18 1/2 year just left me. She is also having a midlife crisis. Which makes it all SOOOO much worse. She offered counseling on Dec 12th and has yet to follow through with it. I've tried to set it up. She is still stonewalling me and wont talk to me about relationship stuff. Has me blocked on social media. If I write her a paragraph it's always met with 1-2 word responses or leaving me on read. Only communicates about the kids. She moved out and is living with a female friend she barely knows. I am afraid the counseling is just bread crumbing me. She just tells me she doesn't know what she wants. It's time I move on. And just hope she comes home while I am moving on.

[@RahulSharma-dp2cg]

Same here ! 20 days NC but she posts stuff targeted at me !

[@stephensummers1958]

@ yep!!!! I’m blocked on Facebook. But I’ve seen her posts and she had created a narrative that im a bad person. But I’ve been so good to her. It’s hurts me that she would do that to me. We’ve been separated over 2 months now.

[@luketimewalker]

Buy one short leash for yourself and get another one free!