5 Ways To Get Rid Of Internalized Biphobia

[@JustJRR]

In this video I share 5 ways to unlearn internalized biphobia. 💙💗💜🙌🏾 I created the hashtag #BisexualMenSpeak on Twitter & put together a playlist on here (+400 vids!) of various bisexual/pansexual men sharing their experiences. Please check it out: 💙💗💜 kzbin.info/aero/PLkMYxg1sLLMW4mn4oLFV-aeL3tVOhxs_w

[@ADevilFromHeaven]

Thank you for this 💕 needed this

[@JustJRR]

@@ADevilFromHeaven ❤❤❤

[@mckennaprincingwrites]

"stop gaslighting yourself" That really hit me, in a good way. I've never heard someone explain it so perfectly. Thank you!

[@JustJRR]

You're welcome!💙💗💜

[@theblackhole05]

Honestly that could have been the whole video! But I love his voice happy he had more to say!

[@enigmaticdreams1397]

Thank you for making this, I really needed this. Ever since I realized I was bi, there is always a voice in my head saying: - you're faking this - this is a phase - you're really gay/straight and lying to yourself I really need to get rid of these thoughts and to just be me, since they cause me immense stress. It's nice knowing I'm not alone and that other people have experienced this. Thanks - from a bi teen boy

[@JustJRR]

Thanks for watching lil bro! Just try to be patient and gentle with yourself 🙏🏾

[@omos7868]

its good to know im not the only one :)))

[@JustJRR]

@@omos7868 you're not!

[@gender-fluidARMY]

TheOtherFWord somebody shared this with me because I’m dealing with internalized biphobia. Thank you for this! -a gender questioning person

[@JustJRR]

@@gender-fluidARMY thanks for watching 😀

[@Bliss-l1t]

I'm so happy to see a bisexual man let alone a bisexual Black man on video. I'm a bisexual Black woman and it always felt like wherever I went there were no other bisexuals. This was due to people coming out as bisexual then coming out as gay or the clearly bisexual women claiming straightness once they had kids and settled down with a guy. Let alone meeting a guy who was willing to admit he was bisexual. I'm realizing I have internalized biphobia within myself even though I pride myself on being out of the closet since high school, but I'm realizing I been sadly biphobic towards myself for over 10 years. I'm going to start working on that.

[@JustJRR]

Thanks for your comment! Proud of you 🙌🏾❤

[@Mynigameguy710]

Bi support groups are a thing? That sounds great, thanks

[@JustJRR]

Yup yup totally! I belonged to two/three different ones in NYC for years

[@ritiaggarwal995]

i’m in a straight relationship as a bisexual teen, and i keep having imposter syndrome that goes what if i’m gay although i think i love my bf. stop gaslighting yourself was such great advice. i want to stop these thoughts and be authentically bi. my brain cannot accept me being bi and having straight or gay thoughts together, it keeps jumping to me being either straight or gay everytime i’m attracted to one specific gender. i hate it.

[@JustJRR]

That was me all throughout high school so I really relate. What I wish someone would have told me is that you don't have to feel guilt for being attracted to or desiring people of other genders than the one of the person im dating. It's human nature. Just breathe and try to remain present. 🙏🏾💙💗💜

[@nightskystars0762]

I'm bisexual. I've had romantic and sexual feelings for men and women. But I don't why I keep questioning myself. I like women much much more so sometimes I ask myself am I just a lesbian? I know Bisexuals can have a preference. I have a strong preference towards girls but I still do like boys. But I because of my preference I feel I'm not bi enough. It's frustrating Edit:- I've got ridden of my internalized biphobia. I feel so much more better and confident now. And i don't really prefer a certain gender anymore

[@JustJRR]

You're enough. 💜 Be kind and patient with yourself.

[@baizhuwaitingroom7057]

I wasn't even aware that this constant self-doubt and the feeling that maybe I'm faking it and I'm not really bi could be counted as internalised biphobia. I'm comfortable with the idea of me being bi, it's just at times I don't feel like I'm enough, whatever that means. There's also this trend in the bi community to hate (jokingly or not) on men and seeing all the women go like "yeah, I'm bisexual, I love women, I'm 99% attracted to women, why am I cursed to be attracted to men at all, I wish I was a lesbian" and as a bi man slightly more attracted to men I'm just there reading it like.... ok? I get it, a lot of men are toxic. I know. It's targeted at them. But it still makes me feel invalidated, especially when they sell it as The Universal Bi Experience, which is just not the case and many of us (including bi women who aren't "99% attracted to other women") can't relate to it.

[@JustJRR]

You're enough.

[@RavenFirewind]

As a bi woman who doesn't prefer one over the other, this speaks to me. Seeing so many other bi women basically hating on men all the time fed my own feelings of not being enough and turned into these defensive feelings of having to prove my bisexuality by mentioning girls I'm attracted to--nearly to the exclusion of guys I've liked. I really wish some of these girls/women would stop pushing that rhetoric. It does more harm than good for the rest of us.

[@hazelcloudz1318]

Omg yes! This "Universal bi experience" is one of the leading things fueling my internalized bibiphobia. I myself am a bi girl who's more attracted to men, and I feel like I almost need to push myself to like women to that 99% extent and men the other 1% otherwise I'm not a "true" bisexual.

[@pollyhallam8834]

This video is so needed! I wish i hadn't wrapped up my sense of self with my attractions from such an early age and realised that at the end of the day who I'm attracted to doesn't change anything apart from who I'm attracted to! It took my first relationship with a woman for me to finally feel even slightly secure in my identity but even now I'm made to feel uncomfortable discussing my crushes with straight, gay and even other bi or pan people because of the amount of biphobia in the world. I constantly feel not gay enough and its honestly exhausting. I'm so glad other people can relate thankyou

[@JustJRR]

Thank you so much for watching and your comment! I'm glad this video could help you and I totally relate to what you said about your crushes/attractions being scrutinized by people in your surroundings. Been there. I've since found people who are supportive of my crushes no matter what gender they are. 💙💗💜

[@monafinlayson4637]

This made me cry, thank you. I just feel like everyone sees me as a lesbian and I do really put pressure on myself to have a preference. And I still feel invalid for feeling like a like women less. But I do need to stop worrying about that stuff. Thank you. ❤️💜💙

[@JustJRR]

I'm so glad this helped you. Please be kind to yourself 🙏🏾

[@raffaele8556]

Internalized biphobia is a real problem. I repressed my attraction to women so much that I started to feel physically bad. And any time I feel things for women a little part of me thinks that I'm just a gay man who isn't brave enough to come out. We should talk more about this stuff as a society.

[@JustJRR]

❤🙏🏾

[@juali222]

Especially the first one is important for me to hear. I'm always thinking I'm not into enough women to be bi, but at the same time might have been compulsory heterosexuality because I never had any male friends so every man was a potential partner for me. In the end it is helpful to know what's going on because it'll help me be more confident but I need to chill a little and just take my attraction as is comes

[@JustJRR]

yup. don't rush just be gentle with yourself and build your confidence man :)

[@TigerPrawn_]

I felt your comment on a SPIRITUAL level. Totally feel like my attraction to women isn't enough and although I've had make friends, I almost always automatically view guys as potential partner/romantic interest. Sigh

[@morwennmusachia2670]

I've always had biphobia, I think alot of it was coming out publicly before i was ready to, before i was really able to explore it much, and because everyone would come up and say "oh you're the gay kid right?" And I would just go with everyone calling me gay all the time. It managed to kinda cease for awhile when I was single, but now I'm dating a trans girl, and shes amazing, but for whatever reason it has really flared up my biphobia alot. I cant really fully explain it, but it's been causing me alot of issues recently. This helped a bit, thanks.

[@JustJRR]

I'm glad it helped you. Please be gentle and patient with yourself. 💓🙏🏾

[@squidneythesquid2487]

My struggle is whether or not I’m bi, because it’s becoming more acceptable and common and people are trying to say that so many people are bi and it’s just a trend. It makes me feel illegitimate, like I am identifying as bi just from the influence of social media and my largely LGBTQ+ friends. But in reality there’s no way I’m not, I know I for sure like guys, I’ve had little crushes on them since I was a kid, but as long as I can remember, I’ve also found all girls pretty and not just in a jealous manner, because sometimes I just want to look at them (big, clear eyes, plump lips, and bold eyebrows are my weakness, Maisie Williams is a huge celebrity crush of mine. It took my a while to realize that my admiration of girls had always been beyond a straight girls admiration. I think I first somewhat realized this with “I kissed a girl” by Katy Perry. But idk for sure, I’ve yet to date or have a romantic relationship of any kind with anyone. When it comes to guys, I get a bit uncomfortable around them, especially when things get flirty because I have trust issues, and don’t know the motives of a teen guy, and I don’t like shallow, surface level compliments rather than asking me questions about me self. When it comes to girls, I feel like they’re too good for my mess of myself, and Idk And I can’t flirt, I have mental block, I shut it down and that’s probably why I’ve never dated anyone at 18, but I can’t stop it. At this point I know I’m bi, but I still suffer with internalized biphobia, especially with my non religious mom not believing in bisexuality but still being ok with homosexuality

[@JustJRR]

I am sorry to hear you're having a tough time but I believe you when you say that you're bisexual. Hoping you can grow your confidence and you get to a place where you feel you can live authentically. 💙💗💜

[@squidneythesquid2487]

TheOtherFWord thank you. 💗💜💙

[@TigerPrawn_]

Oh my god, I feel you wrote my whole life story there. Did you hack into my brain? 😃 But seriously, I feel you 💜

[@hazelcloudz1318]

@@TigerPrawn_ Right??

[@rageagainstthemicrowave1313]

bro you literally just described how i feel.

[@matilda9906]

I’ve struggled finding any luck with other women in online dating. I feel like it’s easier for me to date men when I’m also very clearly attracted to women. I feel like since I’ve accepted my bisexuality, I’ve been trying to get a girlfriend to “prove” myself to other people. Lately I’ve learned that this is the bisexual dilemma. Always questioning if you’re actually bi or just “confused” . And it’s exhausting. I feel guilty for going on dates or hooking up with men especially when I talk about my experiences with other people because it seems too “straight”

[@JustJRR]

Very relatable. ❤

[@darianricks2050]

I needed this. I came out at 27. I knew but was struggling with internalized Biphobic. There was many guys, trans, non-binaries, I wanted to know sexually and romantically. I truly needed this, and I always doubt it since I was a kid. I put so much pressure on having sex and conquering women. Thank you for this. Mm

[@JustJRR]

I'm glad this helped you bro 🙌🏾 I relate to doubting myself since I was a kid and made this to help myself work through it. Please subscribe and take a look at this video i did about unlearning misogyny and mental health: kzbin.info/www/bejne/goqlnYuVq6qKmpo

[@irisstone9993]

Number 5 really hit me because being bi is a good & healthy thing on its own and I almost never stop to appreciate that. Thanks, this was a lovely and useful video!! 💜

[@JustJRR]

Thanks for watching and for the compliment!! Please subscribe and watch some of my other bi content :)

[@LeroyThompson462]

Thanks so much for this, I really had internal biphobic conflicts. This helps me come to terms with myself

[@JustJRR]

💙💗💜

[@LeroyThompson462]

@@JustJRR thanks J.R, I really appreciate you and your ministry, you are a God send

[@DJMightyChip]

Thank you for posting these videos. For this one especially. I really felt like coming out would help me step past so much of this... but I spent so many years trying to suppress how I feel, that last one is the hardest. Keep on being awesome. ✌️❤️

[@JustJRR]

Thanks Chip. You are not alone in this and at times I find myself having to work through these too. 🙏🏾

[@bobble13345]

What an amazing person you are, this video made me feel better about myself

[@JustJRR]

Thanks for saying that!! Im so happy to hear it helped you 💗 🥺 please subscribe 😊

[@starstellastar3680]

I love how this video has no dislikes! :) 💗

[@JustJRR]

lol same!

[@lizaharris5930]

thank you. feeling deeply ashamed of myself, feeling a little bit better.

[@JustJRR]

[@sophiebest243]

I kind of constantly am trying to convince myself that I’m a lesbian bc I hate the fact that I’m not “gay” enough for the lgbtq+ community but not “straight” enough for the straights. and idek if I’m bi or a lesbian this is so confusing ahhhh

[@JustJRR]

Been there. Take your time & be kind to yourself. Also, I'd recommend looking up compulsory heterosexuality.

[@sophiebest243]

okay thanks so much :)

[@ThatLittleKitten]

This hit me hard. I'm a bisexual female who was gaslit and used for sex by a bisexual male. The experience has changed me for the worse. I already had internalized biphobia towards myself and now knowing that I wasn't enough for this person who hung me up to dry has damaged my psyche. I don't want to have these feelings of biphobia but being used in those ways has hurt me a lot. Thank you for this video. I'm taking the time to learn to love myself and become more accepting of myself and others. 💕💜💙

[@JustJRR]

I'm so sorry to hear that. Nobody deserves to be treated that way. I'm happy to hear you're healing though 🙏🏾💙💗💜 happy bi visibility day.

[@ThatLittleKitten]

@@JustJRR happy bi visibility day to you too!

[@jackyreverol4145]

Even though I was sure that I've been bisexual for sure since I was 15 years old, some time ago I began to wonder if I was really attracted to men and I entered a spiral of doubts. Sometimes I feel like I don't fit the label "lesbian" or "bisexual" and that I'm not "bi" or "lesbian" enough to be either of them. In this process I realized that I still have a bit of biphobia-lesbophobia inside of me, even after coming out as bisexual. Your video gave me a bit of calm and I really appreciate it

[@JustJRR]

I'm so happy to hear this helped you!!! And I'm sorry to hear you've had such a turbulent time.💗

[@sakuraheony]

1:21 thank you for this one, somehow I'd never thought of it but i think it'll really help me. I remember reading a book with a side character i really liked, he turned out to be bi and i cried when i read it, it was barely talked about but it meant so much to me

[@JustJRR]

I know exactly what you mean. Its these little things that mean so much when for so long you've felt so alone or like there is something odd about you when in reality being bisexual is common and normal.

[@MirandaRose-mp3]

That's crazy, the book author's name is so similar to mine!!

[@JustJRR]

Wow omg that's so cool! 😲

[@lucyposta4297]

Thanks for that sweetie, it really struck a chord with me, so many other bi videos don't xx

[@JustJRR]

aww im so glad this resonated with you :) i have lots more bi vids too! thanks for watching! please subscribe

[@blair7721]

Thankyou I really needed this video!! xx

[@JustJRR]

💜💜💜 tha ks for watching! Please subscribe

[@Aztecsanddehydration]

Thanks for the book recommendations. I'm so excited to read them.

[@JustJRR]

You're so welcome! Please share this video if you can :)

[@lovelylavendertea4714]

thank you so much! this is sooo helpful for so many and i wish i saw this a couple years back when i was struggling. you’re epic :)

[@JustJRR]

You're so welcome and thank you :)

[@crazee_lemon]

I really needed this THANK YOU 😭😭😭😭

[@JustJRR]

So glad it helped 🙏🏾💙💗💜 please subscribe 😁

[@notdefining]

This is really nice advice. Thanks for making this video.

[@JustJRR]

No problem man!!! Please share it if you can 🙏🏾

[@notdefining]

@@JustJRR I will. I’ve shared to my Twitter today! @notdefining.

[@RavenFirewind]

I've been out for nearly 2 years, and I still struggle with all of these. I do my best to shut them down now though, because I know it's b.s. to put myself through that when it took me so long to finally embrace that side of me (I'm 33, for perspective). Thanks so much for making this video. If I ever find myself slipping again, I'm going to watch it to help kick those thoughts. ❤💜💙

[@JustJRR]

thanks for watching!! everyone's journey is different just be gentle with yourself :) and please subscribe!

[@matchasketch8224]

Thank you so much for this video. I felt conflicted as to whether I was lesbian or a bisexual who heavily leans towards women, and while I haven’t figured that out yet, you’ve made me feel that it’s ok to be whoever I am. I always had this nagging at the back of my mind that if I use the word bisexual, it means I at least like both genders enough to reach a certain degree, and that I’d be falsely signalling to guys that I like them equally as I do women, when that is not the case. There’s also this fear I have of having to re-come out again and having to face judgment by the LGBTQ community if I instead realized I was bi instead of lesbian. Either way, thank you for this video. It helped me feel less stressed out in many ways.

[@JustJRR]

No problem. Thank you so much for watching! Take it easy on yourself & remember these words/labels are simply ways for us to understand ourselves & experiences better. They're personal & don't have to be shared with others unless you make that decision because you want to. You don't owe anyone disclosure. I wrote about that and it's in the description box. Please subscribe 😊

[@matchasketch8224]

@@JustJRR Absolutely! Love the content :)

[@LilithsVeil]

Thank you for this video!

[@JustJRR]

Thanks for watching! Please subscribe 😃

[@LilithsVeil]

@@JustJRR My bell is on too, baby. You dropped too much knowledge for me not to. I feel immense pressure to hide my attraction to the same sex to avoid making people uncomfortable and I'm realizing that it's internalized biphobia. Thank you for helping me be me 💗💜💙

[@JustJRR]

@@LilithsVeil ❤❤❤❤

[@rzwisler]

This was so helpful! Thank you!

[@JustJRR]

Thanks for watching 🙏🏾 Subscribe more for more bi affirming content. 😊

[@livelaughlisten14]

Needed this! Subscribing now 😊

[@JustJRR]

Thanks for subbing! Glad it helped :-)

[@ikalia.]

Thank you very much for this video! I've been feeling quite bad about myself lately, so I hope your advice will help. Sending hugs

[@JustJRR]

I'm sorry to hear you havent been feeling good about yourself. I hope this helps too 🙏🏾💙💗💜

[@ikalia.]

@@JustJRR thank you ❤️

[@leop4332]

Thank you so so so much

[@JustJRR]

Thanks for watching Leo 🥺🙏🏾 please be good to yourself and subscribe 😊

[@shigonbore]

Loved this video! So informative and helpful x

[@JustJRR]

Thanks so much for watching and for your support! Glad to help 🙏🏾💙💗💜

[@bendemare5270]

Algorithm. (Affectuous vibes to you, what you do is needed.)

[@JustJRR]

Thanks for the algorithm support! 🙏🏾 Please subscribe 😃

[@bendemare5270]

@@JustJRR Thanks for your videos! And yeah, of course, I'm already subscribbed to you, or whatever you call it in english. (Not my 1st language). I like your content and I wanna support a black brother, so yeah, o

[@JustJRR]

@@bendemare5270 thanks so much man!!! I appreciate the love. Please let me know what kind of videos you want me to do! I'm always open to receiving video topics. 😃

[@benny5020]

Thank you for this. 💜💜💜

[@JustJRR]

You are so welcome. Thank you for watching :)

[@0ente0]

Thanks for this vid💘

[@JustJRR]

Thanks for watching! Please subscribe 🙏🏾

[@lanieeperkins783]

this video helped me a lot thank you :)

[@JustJRR]

Thanks for watching and leaving a comment! Please subscribe 😀🙏🏾

[@lanieeperkins783]

@@JustJRR of course! i checked out your page and it was an instant subscribe! :)

[@JustJRR]

@@lanieeperkins783 💜💜💜

[@CrazyShorty13]

This video 🥰🥰 ty

[@JustJRR]

Thanks for watching! Please subscribe 🙏🏾

[@kittyboy7006]

For the biphobic people Do yall not know what dating two different genders at two different times because i dont date both at the same time period but you just like both nothing is wrong with that

[@JustJRR]

Right. There's nothing wrong with dating more than one gender at the same time or at different times.

[@JustJRR]

Ethically*

[@annebelbreij4440]

[@JustJRR]

🙏🏾

[@annebelbreij4440]

Loved this video so much❤️thanks for your amazing work love you!!!!

[@kerycktotebag8164]

Algorithm

[@JustJRR]