8 signs of an avoidant attachment style (sessions #14)

Рет қаралды 6,261

Күн бұрын

Пікірлер: 52

@thesolitarytroubadour9894 Ай бұрын

Imagine learning about these topics in your teens and not at 50! Spot on, my mother was the safe person but she is also avoidant and I have no memory of ever talking about emotions with anyone. Hearing about all if these things have been so eye opening but making change is so difficult! Keep the info coming!

@DMAC1301 Ай бұрын

Just got done listening and I can’t decide whether I’m totally pissed off or I want to just bawl….. I said yes so many times . This is it. Nuf said………..

@miltonmalone8647 Ай бұрын

This hits home for me. My earliest memory was me in my crib standing up crying in a dark room with the door open. I could see my mother down the hall walking to the room, as I would stop crying seeing her approach, she would then turn around and go back into the den/kitchen. I remember that she never came in to the room to console me. My oldest sister told me that she practically raised me as my mom worked a full time job.

@oliviachipperfield6029 Ай бұрын

😢

@L0LoLOLoL0LOL Ай бұрын

my mom told me i was an accident and treated me like it

@anewman1976 Ай бұрын

Firstly, love your channel, but more importantly. radio guy here! You are doing the right thing to have soft cushions to soak up the echo that would happen in say if you recorded that in the kitchen! But... you badly need a ground up mic stand, just a small one will do for where you're sitting there. It'll free up your hands because that one looks heavy.

@daresaryan8229 Ай бұрын

It's a popular way to film/record on KZbin at the moment 😊 I've been seeing it more and more!

@anewman1976 Ай бұрын

@daresaryan8229 Oh my....🥴

@maryhawker5003 Ай бұрын

Yeah her holding it looks so strange and awkward, a stand would be so much better!

@ljl2254 Ай бұрын

Dr Kim....you are a blessing to me. Thank you.

@tonidelisa8185 Ай бұрын

“ Repeated maternal rejection” welp. There it is…. That explains everything.

@grmpEqweer Ай бұрын

My parents taught me to be afraid of the people I care about, and that expressing feelings was punished.

@yazmintweety9870 Ай бұрын

can maladaptative daydreaming be a way to soothe or cope with the loneliness that comes within avoidant attachment?

@leviticuscornwall9631 Ай бұрын

That’s what I’ve been doing

@duerremueller3609 Ай бұрын

Oof this is me - I think also being an oldest child can make this more likely as we're expected to have less needs from our parents than our younger siblings because we're "mature" enough to deal with things by ourselves

@whiggygirl Ай бұрын

True. My older sister is DA, I'm FA and my younger sister is AP

@ES11777 Ай бұрын

Middle children are most abandoned actually so much so that it became a meme

@duerremueller3609 Ай бұрын

@@ES11777 true altho some families only have 2 kids

@ES11777 Ай бұрын

@ True

@minooluna23 Ай бұрын

Wow. I have had this until all my life: repeated parental rejection especially maternal. Because dad was not there and I always wanted female energy and repeatedly rejected in the sense you convey. The best way to put into word. I also feel my mother wanted to revenge from her mother through me.

@JurassicCrinoid-fj1wt Ай бұрын

Thank you for that. Most of the above. I was abducted by a pedophile when I was 12. If I tried to talk about it at home, I'd get punished. My father pushed me and my brother away from him when he started crying in front of a psychologist. The psychologist did 'not' like that. But our father was always like that. Almost all of the above. I'm completely recluse now and in the latter part of my life. I've been this way since my ex left in the late nineties. Job gone, the whole bit. Thank goodness I don't have substance abuse issues. I like coming back here.

@realmsabovetheclouds3619 Ай бұрын

😭😭🙏🩷

@flyygurl18 Ай бұрын

Great video Dr Kim; this really explained avoidant attachment well!😍

@alicehatzoglou5683 14 күн бұрын

Exellently explained! Many thanks for that.

@youcansoften 17 күн бұрын

It’s insane the amount of followers you have now ! A year ago you had less than 6k insane 🎉❤

@Youtuber5775- Ай бұрын

I’m currently having a mental breakdown because I just looked at our checkbook and we are broke and going down so fast. I’m so numb and exhausted at this age with lots of injuries. I’m like Naomi Judd who had severe anxiety and depression and she was a nurse. She said that she had done all of the research on how to treat it and learn to live with it, but she said she had enough of her life and she blew her head off with her gun. I am older now and I don’t have any retirement income and my husband is on social security so we’re not really getting by. I have read about many other people who have come to the same conclusions, but I don’t want to hurt my family that bad. I am isolated from the people all over the place and I don’t get out much. I’m just trying to navigate the situation with a calm demeanor and understanding the fact that we could rent an apartment and not have so much overhead to pay for. What bothers me most is that I have enough drugs to mix together to make myself die, and the doctor that provided the most for me is in a psychiatric clinic that is run by a psychiatrist and other types of doctors. I have told him that I only take one medication at night, but he said I might need it for major changes. I also worked in a pharmacy in high school and I learned about mixing medication to help my brain shut down and go to sleep. God help us face this challenge! 🙏🏼😵‍💫😭

@Touay. Ай бұрын

Sorry to hear you are having such a hard time. money troubles can be very distressing.

@mikeleuk Ай бұрын

Thanks Dr Kim

@rubenvargas8288 Ай бұрын

You did it again. Dr. you keep doing this you’re going to get a big SURPRISE! Ha,ha . In good way of course. Keep up it beautiful !

@priyabarua5741 Ай бұрын

Thankyou very much for these clear inputs!

@Champzification Ай бұрын

Great video. Describes my ex girlfriend perfectly. I pray she can leave her ego aside and become a bit more self aware. Shes a good person. She left abrubtly ans shes now isolating herself.

@rubenvargas8288 Ай бұрын

Sorry for the half dyslexic comment. I just woke up. I’m a little bit in a daze. I meant to say , In a good way. Keep it up helpful women! It’s in that name. Sage. They say what’s in a name? Sometimes a lot.

@valeriemcfadden853 Ай бұрын

10:51 The style of parenting described was pretty normal when I grew up and is also quite culturally variable still today.

@mandarinadreux9572 Ай бұрын

This is my attachment style. I was also the older sibling. I still have no meaningful relationship with my mother, neither love nor hate, just barely any basis. This hits home for me. I've just ended my relationship with my partner because I felt like I was falling apart because he was getting too close. It felt like running into death with my eyes wide open. Even though I knew intellectually, that I was safe and that we really cared and still care for each other, this is what it felt like to me on a very deep emotional level and I just couldn't go on anymore. I long for a family but will I ever be able to have it? Can this attachment wound be healed?

@offairhead Ай бұрын

I’m so confused. I thought I was an anxious attachment until I listened to this. Wth is wrong with me!! No wonder why I’m in my 40s and still alone.

@Touay. Ай бұрын

Hi. Are you able to afford therapy? I am 50 and been alone for most of my life ... I think therapy is helping me to get past some of this stuff. I hope things improve for you.

@whiggygirl Ай бұрын

Fearful Avoidant? I'm 43 on the 18th and am still alone. Longest rship is only 4 years and I've never been married 😢

@Touay. Ай бұрын

@@whiggygirl sorry to hear that. My longest relationship was 3 ish years ... Ive been single for a long time now. So sad that there are so many of us. I hope you are able to heal and can find happiness. (I am doing therapy, but it is going to be a long road)

@gregorystinette8271 Ай бұрын

My evaluation of this presentation is that of an embracement of a phallic symbol representative of a Tyrone.

@prodigal_southerner Ай бұрын

White men spend an unhealthy amount of time being obsessed with the genitalia of black men.

@timothymoore1987 Ай бұрын

Is this attachment style something that can develop at a later age rather than a younger age? With some traumatic events beginning to happen to me in my late teens through my 50s, I feel like I have switched to this style somewhat in my late 50s and 60s.

@SB4E.2 Ай бұрын

Great question?!?!

@misspeach3755 Ай бұрын

Yes, attachment styles can and do change.

@minooluna23 Ай бұрын

Yes ! Of course. But I think if it happens too early changing is even harder.

@laura.bseyoga Ай бұрын

Late diagnosed autist here - this sounds a lot like me. Apparently I was a "disappointing" baby, whatever that means (I assume it means I didn't live up to the unrealistic expectations of my parents, who had no experience of babies before me)

@yvonneslaughter1 10 күн бұрын

Can siblings develop different attachment styles? And how? Im older and have anxious attachment My sister is younger and is avoidant Same parents/household