Stop Mindless Shopping. Ending the Toxic Spending Cycle

[@Wee_Catalyst]

The part about buying things for our dream self and the dissonance that comes when it arrives and is sitting there and you are realizing you’re not your dream self . . . Very poignant

[@AstroMartine]

having ADHD, my biggest issue is buying hobby stuff for things that I later procrastinate on starting.

[@julecaesara482]

oh my god, yes the amount of watercolour paper sitting in my drawer...

[@Max-wl5ll]

@julecaesara482 Ouch, so true it hurts...

[@renmcqueen]

ADHD becoming excuse for everything

[@Max-wl5ll]

​@@renmcqueen I understand your skepticism, especially with "ADHD TikTok" making very common things that everyone deals with a supposed symptom of ADHD. But impulse purchases and procrastination are very ADHD indeed. It's not BS trust me.

[@snörre23]

Nothing wrong with that. I might have taken it too far though, collecting stuff for 30 years and only aged late 50s realizing that most of it will never be used.

[@mona-fy4oj]

The other day I saw a quote that said " buying isn't charity", meaning that companies can't rely on customers feeling sorry for them when times are rough, and good business can't be based on making people feel bad of they choose not to buy from them. Just something to think about when you feel bad not supporting small businesses.

[@harrypike5140]

Agree. But I do also think that the sentiment to support small and/or local businesses where possible is a good one. If people just refrain from purchasing from such businesses altogether, well, we won't have such businesses at all. The likes of Temu, TikTok shop, SHEIN, ASOS etc are the issue here...not some random woman making personalised wax candles and selling them on Etsy, or a guy selling homemade knives at the local arts and crafts market

[@maddie8415]

I agree. I think that it's a good idea intentionally buy from a small business if you were going to buy something anyway and can afford it. But I've seen friends on social media complain about how their friends aren't "supporting" them for not buying their high priced niche products. Most of us are hurting financially, already.

[@mw6346]

I needed to hear this.

[@ExLibris-Alys]

An excellent video, thank you. I was going to buy a dish drainer but thanks to you I’ve (thanks to your input) talked myself out of it so I’ll split the cost with you. I’ll keep £10 and you can have the other £10 and my dishes will continue to drain on the draining board just as they always have done with no detriment to themselves or me 😁.

[@View619]

Something that helps me avoid impulse purchases is putting items into my favorite list, and then returning at a later date. This gives me the opportunity to reassess and consider whether I really need X thing. It's also great for sticking to my budget, since I'll have a chance to check my spending for the month and prune the list.

[@kellychuba]

This was my first no buy year since saving for my house: I did not even buy a book. I also waste far less food by cooking for me and my dogs at home! Meanwhile, once you decide to go no buy and stick to it, watching savings grow becomes the new exciting game. I'm looking at 9k that I did not spend on dinners, sports, bars, idiot husbands, trips etc. Please try no buy. You can do it.

[@21380039]

love this energy

[@wplants9793]

@LynnHermione You are right, housing is so expensive it’s sick. But, also, you could buy a house like after 10- 15 years of saving or something (not that that is right…but just it’s possible IF one makes enough money to save, especially since rent is much more expensive than a mortgage when I live…we could rent out our house for at least $1000/month than we pay)

[@tulip811]

So you have no friends and no education

[@pansyflowerboy]

I've been struggling with compulsive shopping since becoming disabled. There are many reasons, one is because I spend so much time in bed with no capacity to do anything other than stare at my phone or listen to audiobooks. I also find myself trying to solve physical issues by purchasing things that might help like special pillows, etc, unfortunately in the long run many don't work for me but by then it's too late. Shopping for new (often secondhand, but regardless) things is one of the only ways I have to change my environment, and it's hard to stop when I have so little control over the rest of my life.

[@Shantelle6253]

I don't think I've ever felt so seen. People really have no idea what it's like losing the ability to just get up and go for a walk. I find myself sleeping alot...i can still run in my dreams.

[@whisperedaria]

Yes! Not disabled, but with chronic illness and migraines that keep me in bed. I so identify with looking at items out of sheer need for something else to do and buying so many items that promise to help make my illnesses/life a bit better…I can’t tell you how many things I’ve gotten only to realize they don’t work and I’m still left with the same issue, only poorer. 😢 You’re not alone!

[@lucyl4603]

Someone needs to start the useless aids mega doc, it’ll save lives. I agree on the special pillows, I’ve gotten more use of my one cat shark toy than any actual body pillows 🙄

[@ila9063]

Relatable. I have several chronic health issues and am disabled. The amount of money I've spent on things that should have helped me but really did barely anything is sad. I feel like my desperation is being exploited lol

[@taylorlance1689]

Something that I learned years ago when I worked in retail was if you pick an item up or touch it you’re drastically more likely to buy it when browsing. So when I am browsing a shop and am trying to only buy things I need I do my best not to pick items up off the shelf. Does it work 100% of the time? No. But it can be very helpful.

[@Mariella-w1d]

Really interesing and makes sense! If you pick something up, a shop assistant is also (usually) much more likely to come up to you and pressure you into buying it.

[@carochan86]

That sounds really interesting. I need to try that.

[@MsSimpleMovies]

Interesting. I actually have the opposite experience. I hold the item, walk around the store with it, process the pseudo ownership of it, and leave it behind.

[@gumity]

Yep, as someone who's the manager of a retail store, the biggest thing is always getting product into a customer's hands. If it's behind glass people are less likely to ask for it. But if you see someone looking at something and ask if they'd like to see it, there's a high possibility they'll buy the product. Because of that I always make sure I'm not touching everything when I go into stores.

[@loissmith7418]

Something I don’t hear people talking about with regards to compulsive spending is how anxiety inducing it is to try to stop. Not because of the scarcity mindset (although that exists as well) but out of fear of immediately failing. I would get a horrible knot in my stomach watching content like this video because I would think it would never be me and I was so weak I’d just give in. Honestly the whole subject was so embarrassing for me and I hated being around people who talked about money. I’ve been working on addressing my deeper issues recently and working on better coping strategies than spending. I still get urges and I’m sure I’ll slip up at some point in the future but I’m not afraid of that anymore.

[@gumity]

You have to see it as a habit - it takes a while to make a habit stick, and you'll probably forget to do that thing sometimes, but you can't take one time of not doing that thing and say to yourself 'well i guess i failed'. You have to look at yourself and say 'well, i didn't succeed today, but I'll try again from here', and it'll get easier and easier. =)

[@lesliemoiseauthor]

"I'm far from it," followed by your full laugh, gave me life. I'm reminded of a quote from a Peg Bracken book: "You keep buying books, the way a homely woman buys hat after hat in the hope that this one will do it.". Once again, a wide and helpful video.

[@lisaswisher4132]

I just love your channel!!! I thought I was the only one who would stress leaving a store without buying something and would worry they thought I was a shoplifter. LOL

[@RichardShortland-Neal]

I’ve just found your channel thanks to the almighty algorithm and I’ve found it to be one of the most down to earth channels I’ve seen for a long time. Simple honest advice and insights from someone who is open and real.

[@montyandrews6213]

I've been enjoying this channel for exactly the same reasons, it's like a breath of fresh air.

[@Rockin_Stroll]

I have the opposite problem, I never really treat myself to anything 😅

[@trishapaige286]

Same! Whatever the opposite of impulsive is, that's me.

[@artawhirler]

This is a great point you made here, and a very true one - that I am actually not one person, but two different people: the "real me" and the "imaginary me". Fortunately, we get along great together, and I'm perfectly happy to go on buying him stuff and using it to decorate our shared apartment! 😅

[@user-bi8ko7kc6h]

I was planing to buy a certain item from my local store (which I’ve bought for many times) but it was out of stock so I walked out. I didn’t ask for help or anything but when I walked out empty handed the staff shouted f word at me and said I wasted his time. I never returned to that local store ever. 😢

[@joysedgwick812]

Fabulous video today, buying out of a sense of politeness…how that resonates, I did that recently and am stuck with an expensive cushion that doesn’t match anywhere!! Honestly, at 72 you would think I would have learnt my lesson by now.

[@paolamura3497]

Courage...keep trying...try finding a bigger project...like a house by the lake to buy!!! If not this...go to thrift shops...you probably will buy something ...but for pennies!!!

[@Corky0]

I found your channel in January and it’s been lovely! Thanks for speaking with experience and knowledge on so many things happening in life. It’s wonderful to know we don’t go at it alone and lost, others have or are going at it the same way and made it out wiser and healthier ☺️. Looking forward to watching this video too!

[@princessdumbarton9877]

First time I have heard of washi tape. I've somehow managed to live my entire life without it.

[@flowermeerkat6827]

You are ahead of the game. From my experience, it seems worthless.

[@aliengoboom-t9k]

@@flowermeerkat6827 I like it for decorating my journal. Otherwise, yeah, it is.

[@nicklemen]

Did we all buy washi tape in 2020 thinking we were going to become planner aficionados?

[@kathleenstephenson7466]

I have stopped thrifting for lent..can relate to many points brought up here ..thanks for a valuable message

[@marinamcercal]

It also brought a ton of washtape for journaling, but when I noticed I wouldn't be consistent with it, I started using the as actually washtape when doing watercolor, since then I finished multiple ones

[@dudybug]

Three months into 2024 and I haven’t bought one book yet! Discovering my own library has been fun

[@Eric.Taylor.1962]

Thankyou for your thoughtful videos Cinzia.

[@worldthrumyeyez]

I am working through this in therapy, as I am very susceptible to constantly spending money.I don't do much online shopping but I noticed after I quit all social media, I stopped feeling the need to have more things.Also yes! Wait before purchasing whether online or in real life For me, I stopped visiting malls, I stopped having a lot of money on me when I am outside with friends. It has helped immensely. I also have to remind myself I don't need more books as I have plenty to read/finish haha. Great video and a very important topic!

[@jameellamar]

i'm currently in the process of recovering from credit card debt that i've accumulated over the past couple of years due to spending most of my money on things that i didn't need and probably don't use now lol. i've learned that the more you spend, the less you appreciate the things you already have. it seems our society doesn't do such a great job in teaching that for the sake of benefiting from those that are naive, lack accountability, and/or struggle with feelings of loneliness

[@canidcourier]

I swear you have a sixth sense for putting out videos on topics I have been ruminating on for the last few days... Although more likely it's that I'm struggling with issues that are increasingly common, but the sixth sense theory is more fun 😂

[@AylenL]

Great video, once again! Your "no buy" content really inspires me. I quit Instagram a few weeks ago because I realised the downsides of using it far outweighed the upsides. I always ended up feeling bad about myself after scrolling for some time, then I would buy clothes to try and look more like the few stylish people I'd seen previously on the app (second hand, but still). I've read Digital Minimalism, which helped me pull the plug! And now I feel so much better, calmer even. And not so bad about myself.

[@nymeria941]

These are great pieces of advice! I bought A LOT of washi and stickers during 2020 because I was spending too much make myself feel better and because I do love sending snail mail. It’s been two-ish years since I stopped buying washi tape and I’m on a mission to give away or use up all the washi tape I have. Any type of delaying tactic can be so effective, and I realize I’ve been doing the screenshot trick for a while, too, but the accountability buddy is me!

[@aaskopina]

I have been watching different videos about impulsive shopping for quite a while now, and this one turns out to be the most helpful, no fluff, all the recommendations are feasible and useful!

[@eezaak21]

As someone who worked in retail for years we honestly don't care if you do or don't buy anything. If you make a heap of requests and ask questions about a product and then don't buy it.....yeah that is really annoying.

[@SelfHelpShelf]

I mean I also worked in retail for 9.5 years haha I didn’t care either and yet I still feel guilty going into shops and not buying things so I’d rather not go in

[@LittleRedTeaCake]

One thing I struggle with is thrift stores, because there is no guarantee that it'll be there next time, but I am working on being okay with that feeling, which is big for me. I have not been as successful with my low buy year so far, but I have months to improve and this shopping problem has been a problem for me for as long as I can remember. I do really appreciate your videos on money and spending, because I feel called out, but damn do I need it.

[@horncow4160]

I have social anxiety and act super uncomfortable in public and I've always felt like it gets me profiled as a potential shoplifter. I've definitely made stupid purchases just to say "see? Take that"

[@janicegagnon2294]

I have finally gotten to the point where I will return something I have ordered that is not what I want or does not fit etc. Used to just have it sit around the house till I would donate it. No more !

[@lincolnlane6763]

@donk8105 Yes but you can trade it for something you actually like and will use- for free- since you don't have to pay again.

[@ClaudiaOfTheWorld]

i’ve been on this journey for a long time so i’m looking forward to your video series. i added a book to my “to buy” list in october 2022. by Christmas it had sold out everywhere and my partner couldn’t find it. contacted a bookshop who gave him the “publisher”‘s details - it was essentially self published and they aren’t planning to print another run. BUT for his birthday we both took the day off work and went to a specialist library to look at the book 💓 just a funny anecdote, it always comes to mind when i watch this type of content and hear “you will be able to buy whatever it is in the future” 😂

[@hannacbx]

Exactly the message I needed to hear in this moment.

[@ClassicsandChristianity]

Yes, more than the 24 hour rule, I like to leave it a week or maybe more before buying something I've seen online. And in person I normally only buy stuff that I went into the shop intending to buy. And about leaving the shop, I always feel better when I mutter to someone I'm with the classic 'let's come back later', although it can feel awkward if the shop is really quiet.

[@debmacie1612]

I love all your videos, they are so inspirational for me. They definitely keep me on track. And I can relate to so many of your stories. A few weeks ago I was doing my annual whole house decluttering and got rid of a lot of clothes - including some tops that I acknowledge were way past their use by date. I got rid of over 30 items and decided to restocked with 4 new tops for spring. But as I hit the buy button, I had a Cinzia moment. Just a slight hesitation LOL. You definitely have made an impact in my life!

[@koston_varjo3536]

Honestly while there's a great amount of stuff I bought from YT/Twitch ads (Squarepace, Henson, HelloFresh), I'm really happy with all of them. What I find insane (and very entertaining) is the algorhythm driven ads. They're really useless for me in so many different ways, for example: here's an attractive person showing it off (I'm ace), here's diverse people using it (I'm about as pale as Mrs. DuBois), here's women's clothes/make-up/hygene products (I'm a guy), here's this thing (just bought it, though I haven't seen and ad for it). It's one of those things where I can feel like I have the upper hand over social media Excellent video as always and this comment was partially made to boost engagement.

[@LibraMakeup]

The temu ad in the middle was just adding to the message! Lovely video.

[@Ohdakkeinen]

I bought a few rolls of washi tape years ago and have still some left. I mainly use washi tape for closing letters when I mail cards etc. Those rolls were of quality and are still just as usable as when I got them. Later I bought two washi tapes from a local book store and those ones proved out be useless. They didn’t really stick to anything properly. I eventually made bookmarks out of them by cutting the tapes into long strands and taping the strands against each other. I still use those bookmarks.

[@paolamura3497]

Good idea!!!

[@Vanbedda]

Just bought Wives and Daughters, Cranford, North and South, Villette, Shirley and The Monk second hand online for 2€ each and I'm feeling both elated to have books I've been thinking about since reading Jane Eyre half a year ago and guilty for spending the money. 2€ each and Im panicing lol.

[@montyandrews6213]

I live by "time spent educating yourself is never wasted", 12€ spent educating yourself certainly wasn't wasted either. I hope you enjoy your new books.

[@Vanbedda]

@@montyandrews6213 Thank you for the kind encouragement. Certainly I won't have anything to regret if I do end up reading the books. But as someone with adhd I often worry I'll lose interest before finishing them.

[@stephanieg2000]

New subscriber! Loved this!

[@mondoenterprises6710]

Right after I get my Stanley big dumb cup!

[@Alexas.nobuyyear]

Love this kind of content!! Thank you ❤

[@carochan86]

I honestly I buy food, and snacks and coffee. The coffee shop near work is closed so that helps. Although I still miss it for some reason. I can make a fancy coffee at work it's the idea of having someone make it for you and to see the familiar faces I guess is what I like.

[@fuzzymurdermittens]

Calling me out on my giant box of washi tape, stickers, and highlighters. Sigh. My washi tape situation is identical to yours - I thought it would help and be super motivational, but now several years later I have not finished a single roll and there are some that I have never used. On the bright side, over the years I have gotten much better at journalling, which is great for mental health. However, I have learned that the washi tapes and stickers are completely superfluous. What was stopping me was purely mental barriers - tape and stickers didn't change that. Now I only use them (on occasion) because I feel like I need to try to "use them up". And I'm not allowed to buy anything stationary-related. Long-term No Buys have been extremely helpful for me.

[@pabsmgm]

I know you’re not asking for advice on what do with it, but in the comment right down below it’s mentioned they began using washi tape for every thing that required tape, and it’s such a good tip! For gift wrapping, I go simple with brown craft paper, and use washi tape. Hardly anyone wants to open the present because it looks too pretty, haha. Just use them and enjoy it. It has more value than them just being there.

[@fuzzymurdermittens]

@@pabsmgm Great idea! I have brown craft paper too, so I have everything I need already without risking buying anything new :)

[@Computra]

Your topics are so on point!

[@shakenbacon-vm4eu]

What made it worse is the free returns from Amazon. Basically enabling us addicts.

[@sibimarie33]

I love the point you made about the accountability partner. I’m tickled just thinking about how embarrassed I would feel sharing screenshots of the random things I want to buy 🙃😅

[@TheSilveryew]

Thank you Cinzia another great video

[@KenjiiH]

So informative, thank you for sharing.

[@ardethellis8930]

What stops me is my current rule of two out, one in. Started a year ago with none in, many out. Having to think of and actually get rid of two things before I can have the thing I think I want is a huge deterent. KZbin vegan cooking videos are my weakness. There's always an ingredient or tool I don't have. I'm doing my best to decide I don't need that recipe. Fingers crossed. Love your content. Please continue.

[@clasdauskas]

Smart, Beautiful, and full of practical suggestions :) Thanks!

[@ThaetusZain]

Spite is an amazing motivator.

[@winterburden]

Thanks for this useful message Cinzia!

[@Jennifer_Lewis_Beach_Living]

Great commentary! These times (2024) are uncertain politically and financially, and with new technologies such as AI, certain jobs that seemed to be “sure things” are slowly becoming irrelevant. People know that they need to be more prudent with their finances to prepare, but they need to break the spending habits. Your tips are fabulous for breaking the spending habits.

[@desg.4259]

Very insightful, relevant discussion as usual. Thank you for your videos. =)

[@leebennett1821]

Learn not to Give a Fooook what others think

[@Sobermama927]

Are you on your 4th year of a no buy??? I’m so inspired by this

[@jiired6441]

Using spite as a motivation is so real. I get things done quite a lot when I am upsetted. 😂

[@PumpkinMozie]

This is SUCH a crucial but underrated topic. Obviously the climate crisis is mostly due to big industries like fossil fuels, but we CAN help on an individual level. Stopping wasting money on s#!t products is a big part of that. We are the ones funding these horrible industries!!!!

[@leebennett1821]

You cannot buy happiness

[@AngelsonEarth69]

Unfortunately you can buy security.

[@flufftronable]

🐶 cuteness overload❤❤

[@whitneybrade]

Yes 🙌🏻 Have missed the money videos!

[@TheConsultingReader]

What a coincidence (with the washi tape)! I was big into scrapbooking and journaling but had to give away my supplies when I moved. Now, several years later, I want to get back into the hobby, and have to start from scratch. But this time I’m only buying a few supplies with the projects I’m using them for already planned out in my mind. And let‘s be honest, we will never use up 10m of one single washi tape 🙈 Thankfully I‘m a person who is not coerced by marketing, and I mostly buy things I need rather than want.

[@slavicpower7709]

Btw they found lead traces in Stanley Cup so there's that ...

[@jennybanana2296]

So true!

[@westonfranz3439]

Does books count

[@arisonchan]

So you’re saying I should buy another book?

[@flowermeerkat6827]

I purchased washi tape and I could never figure out how to use it.

[@CeCe-xv1fr]

I'm watching this after looking at baby clothes for my daughter. Does she really need it? I'm telling myself its for easter. But she's got them. Ugh

[@macaronblanc9522]

I look your videos and you as a person so so much...❤

[@moniquetroth]

If you have ADHD, DON'T make your spouse who is also ADHD your accountability buddy. It.. will not end well for the household budget. smh LOL, lesson learned the hard way over here. We're both ADHD; we both want the other to be happy; and well... oops?

[@stephaniem1107]

i know I'm late to the chat but one thing I've started doing to cut back online shopping is gaming. I really like a game I'm playing and so its my reward or way to destress and unwind (its a relaxing game). This means it eats up time I could be online shopping or on social media and it gives me a decompression outlet too.

[@kallistoindrani5689]

👍👍👍👍👍👍

[@Heothbremel]

❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

[@doodlesbydannie]

I am the washi tape buyer 😅🥲 but I do manage well the enter a store and leave empty handed.