Food Reviews with Dave

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[@seraphonica]

Just had an epiphany. Dave cooks everything gloopy because they're struggle meals, and he doesn't have enough will to live to chew his food.

[@saphira2323]

True story. As a kid, over 20 years ago, I got paid $60 to do a consumer study on those koala cookies. I took chocolate ones home and had to fill out forms of what me and others thought of those. Then I had to go somewhere to sit in a room with other kids and try other flavors and say what we thought of those. I thought it was pretty awesome to get paid $60 to try cookies, but they made me try the peanut butter one and I hate peanut butter.

[@masterchris1013]

Omg that ending has me dying😂

[@mustyhead]

I've done the claw. It has to do with some weird brain sensory stuff. Sometimes I can't help it-just feels needed, good to stretch my wrist like that and adds a kind of symmetry to my posture. Hard to describe.

[@InsomniacXIII]

It means the transformation has begun. The throat-farts will come next. Do not fear. Soon you will shed your cranial pelt and walk out into the wilds to be among your kind.

[@screwintuna]

I usually only do the claw if I pick my beer up wrong and don’t feel like putting it back down to readjust before I drink

[@n0etic_f0x]

No you do not eat them cold, the best thing I have heard is to brush them with garlic butter and then bake them at 450F for about 5 min. Not good but if I was also baked, it would still be bad but I would try it.

[@n0etic_f0x]

@@deimoskaischylos true but a lot of them are quite good, not that I have tried…that but caramel and or chocolate + salt + chilis = awesome. Also mix heavy cream, some flavor you want, and liquor blend and freeze to get something like ice cream. Or blend berries and cream and pour it over rice. All good things I made while high AF.

[@InsomniacXIII]

@@deimoskaischylos You don't brink, bro? Bro, you don't DRINK? Are you seriously saying you DON'T DRINK, BRO? That's a valid decision and I respect it. 👍🏾

[@verager2493]

Garlic butter ftw in general

[@panillaicecream5095]

3:57 I love Gloop Kings face here.

[@Mike-zx6sl]

I can't believe he ate those cold right out of the box. It literally says "Heat & Eat" in bright red right on the front of the box. That had to be slimy and disgusting

[@Kropothead]

New Lord of Gloop just dropped! Let’s goooooooooo! Edit: That corn flakes joke was fire, and I feel like it went unappreciated.

[@deadpoolpanda4513]

When Jake reviews Dave, my day gets better

[@soyborne.bornmadeandundone1342]

You ever see the time that Kevin Logan won a ice bucket challenge bet against him? Best crap ever lololol. I respect Dave in that one instance. He took the L like a champ haha. Well to be fair he was a bit bitchy about the whole thing, like he is with EVERYTHING... but a bets a bet and he did take the L. Just sayin : )

[@reviathan3524]

Wow, I remembered the last time I watched this guy was in 2015.

[@gaybatgosqueak]

As a big fan of character growth I'd love to see Dave genuinely excited about his food reviews too, but as is, I think this is the best content he's made lol

[@orinjayce]

Dave looks exactly like he sounds. That's sad.

[@soyborne.bornmadeandundone1342]

I feel like he's so sad and terrible that I can't help but be nice to him just because I feel super sorry for him. All that hate and stupidity, largely brought on by a cruel society that made him this way. I hope he changes for the better one day. Until that possible maybe day though... Phuck this loser lololol.

[@FrozEnbyWolf150]

40 minutes of Jake giggling uncontrollably is the kind of content I live for.

[@sweetbabyalaska]

At my state fair they sell deep fried uncrustables haha

[@blackgreyfox242]

You are supposed to heat those... I am quite sure. That is likely why they have no flavor.

[@verager2493]

I'd get not heating a PBJ, but it's hard to totally mess that up. But lukewarm/cold meat? On what is basically a hot pocket? Ugh. No.

[@flobwad]

My genitals just shrunk into my appendix.

[@aprilk141]

Grilled peanut butter sandwiches are amazing.

[@RavennaZane]

Dave reminds me of a sadder, walrus version of Grumpy Cat. He hates everything. lol

[@JUGGALOKEMON]

The amount of alcohol he consumes on the daily must make him smell like a walking brewery. Disgusting.

[@edh6532]

“Uncrustables suck.” Aaaaaaaaand unsubscribed. I don’t need these garbage takes and negativity in my life /s

[@vortigaunt3013]

My public school in Washington served cold lunch options for vegetarians for free they served uncrustables and I loved them

[@Kitsune9Yokai]

Why did he not heat them up why would you eat shitty frozen food without at least heating it up

[@nunyabizness9787]

I'm wondering if Dave's allergic to bathing or if, bad as he already is, he just can't handle how he smells when he gets wet...

[@wrabbit7163]

....Why does he have the city labels on his wall without the clocks? A monument to his own stupidity?

[@PaladinsFury]

Where are the clocks?

[@AshleyOlivia90]

I thought you were JOKING saying he was about to review uncrustables then he pulls out the box 🤮🤢

[@halversonnoel0]

You guys are sleeping on those banquet meals. The new ones are good as fuck.

[@eccod]

Matt Walsh levels of walrussy

[@soyborne.bornmadeandundone1342]

He does look walrussy lol. Corn v Walrus!

[@natebetts9426]

Yay, this did wonders for my misophonia

[@thomasmackelly7685]

You’re supposed to hear those..right?? Why is he.. oh no

[@Rusty-Shackleford69]

I can detect no visual difference in jake and dave....🤔 twins!

[@kathydina3646]

I never heard about Uncrustables before, from the looks of it I assume it's a circular hot pocket...? Kinda curious are they good? ( I'm aware I'm ignoring Dave's review.)

[@tuntemon]

You enjoy good food? You dingdong! Dave will set you on the right path in his new book "the Joy of Gloop and *non-offensive jokes (*promise)" Dave doesn't only cooks, he also tries and reviews products! It is weird that he removed the clocks but not the notes with the cities. Did he kept them for sentimental reasons? XD

[@dontuserachelslurs]

I've never had those panda cookies but now I want them just because of how cute they are

[@12frogs70]

6:42 him chewing literally made me stop doing my chores and lower the volume. Like no

[@Romanticoutlaw]

god he's sad. I hope he gets his act together bc currently he's so sad that he makes *me* look like a stable, well-rounded adult

[@blackgreyfox242]

If it don't got clocks it ain't on locks.

[@brettoelschlager8249]

I came to find the most recent Lord of Cringe video to see if he fixed his clocks, where did they go?

[@stefanlvkc7986]

Where did the clocks go? Now he just has random city names on his wall...

[@soyborne.bornmadeandundone1342]

Ever feel like lifes not going well for ya folks? We all have our down and out moments in life. Despite your hardships... Just know... At least you aint Dave lolz. So remember... It could always be so much worse lol.

[@mistorWhiskers]

But you'd only be successful in trading those Doritos if you sat next to Dave at lunch. No one else would be willing to make that trade and there's no way you're Daveing it up at lunch time, enjoy your Doritos young pre Papa Jake.

[@thisisjeff9845]

I'm not even in the USA and I've heard of uncrustables, I don't even think they're sold here as far as I know.

[@dansteinke5016]

jake why are you clowning on this dude

[@soyborne.bornmadeandundone1342]

Don't ruin our fun lolz.

[@McPlatypus]

Banquet? You have to actually search to find lower quality than that.

[@halversonnoel0]

Bad take, banquet mega bowls are dope and good as fuck. The penne and meatballs and the buffalo mac and cheese specifically are great.

[@saininj]

You know I live for these Lord of Goop segments.

[@deadreckoning724]

I feel like I just watched something that will definitely give me nightmares

[@sethbales8972]

A little late to the party but T. Often.

[@Eiuol81853]

I am a simple man. I see "Corn Pop" doing Gloop Lord content, I click.

[@mrs.h4604]

Jake can moonlight as a walrus romance book audio reader. It's a niche market.

[@gonzaloquintana7616]

If this is all Dave did as content, I'd subscribe,.,..lol

[@omarm.9364]

Dying laughing when Jake slowed down Dave’s mouth fart noises.

[@LordDane1986]

You toast uncrushables yeah?

[@lrose5522]

You could not have a review video with less charisma than Dave exhibits here. Like even if he's ragging on them, play it up a little bit man

[@sinshiro]

First