My Son Slept With My Girlfriend And I Don't Know How To Process The Betrayal r/Relationships

[@sherockz.24.7]

Why ppl harping on abt OP being “aggressive”? He broke a phone, not their bones! That was a MAJOR betrayal. I think OP displayed extreme restraint considering the circumstances.

[@Legion-xq8eo]

Because Reddit is nothing more than a group of single mothers who can’t help but overlay their own personal experiences over every story they read!! It matters more if OP was a man or a woman than it does the context of the story!! These bitches are toxic and will take up for any female and chastise any man!! Worse part is they don’t see the hypocrisy in their comments. I’ve seen them react completely different to the exact same circumstances just because one OP was a dude so he was wrong where the other one was a woman and her behavior was perfectly acceptable!

[@hanzojapa]

Today you cant be angry, mad lash out in an inanimate object or say something mean to someone that destroyed your life. Sometimes the commenters want people to act like robots. Being calm and coletive is great, but not a requirement, and to much of it and the person just becomes a doormat

[@eldritchthorne]

Because people want to be on the moral high ground at all times and shame others for having genuine emotional responses while probably ignoring their own. Would not be surprised if they get off on finger wagging at the victim who shows an emotional response. You have to be PERFECT in all situations, even if they are absolutely painful ones where the OP is the victim. They're not allowed to act out on emotion or be rightfully pissed. These are the people who don't want humans to be human.

[@diamcole]

Honestly, breaking a phone seems like fair game to me. I mean really…he SLEPT with his dad’s girlfriend? That’s horrible under any circumstances but especially having the backstory and knowing how difficult it was for OP to even attempt to move on after his wife died. Disgusting kid.

[@pee74332]

I feel like physically showing anger, in the form of throwing things, is deeply frowned upon. Which is understandable. One should not handle every upset with destruction. It also is very unpleasant to be in the presence of someone that angry. But a lot of the people who state further abuse is on the horizon if some gets to that point are reaching a bit. He broke his son's phone as a strong reaction to being totally betrayed. He realized what he did, and offered to replace it. He's not totally irrational, his rage cup just overflowed. You can feel anything else, and that's fine, but real and genuine anger needs to be packed away and sorted out at a different time with much introspection It's kind of unrealistic to put that expectation on something like explosive anger. Sometimes the level of audacity being experienced gets to the person in a way where being understanding is impossible, and it comes out as firey rage.

[@francb1634]

WHAT. THE. FUCK. I literally booed when Mark read that the son had moved back in.

[@MaggieLynnHeronHeidelBooks]

me, too.

[@Sir_Gerald_Nosehairs.]

Reddit has the oddest takes sometimes. Screaming at his son and smashing his phone is a perfectly reasonable reaction. Hell, if he'd punched his son on the nose for doing that I'd be hard pressed to blame him.

[@o5-193]

The dad was too lenient with the son

[@michaelwoods3651]

Facts! He got off way easy!

[@emanuelsommar7243]

I would be horrified of my reaction . Long story short I had a hell of a life. That level of betrayal in my world by the only two people I trust with my soul I am scared to even think about. I know what Ive done to friends who betrayed me for way way less

[@christyclarissemercier6359]

Reddit wants to package everything with a neat little bow.

[@Evolution1101]

Russel Peters has a great skit about immigrant parents beating their kids and how white parents never do and are then shocked when their kids grow into assholes... His dad says, "If I kill one, I'll just make another one. And I would tell the second one what an idiot the first one was." I feel like this applies here. XD Break the kid's nose and throw his ass out OP, then go make another kid and raise the second one right. Reddit can go suck a lemon.

[@AndyyWithAY]

Not just 3x, but 3x in 2 weeks. They just started and couldn't stop. And he can't even visit with his father without looking at her nudes. This was no accident. This was a betrayal.

[@swearimnotarobot3746]

If they did this much this fast. There was probably flirting etc that happened beforehand.

[@dm9078]

Anyone who things it was 3x is a moron. That was trickle truthing.

[@robertx8020]

And the son had a GF too! Time to show FB how great those ppl are!

[@sleepyearth]

He probably enjoys the high and thrill of looking at his dad's gf nudes beside his dad. The son is sick.

[@robertx8020]

@@sleepyearth And he lied about therapy ..and now somehow we are expected to believe he will never lie /cheat again? OMG this is a not going to be over soon!

[@owl7072]

"I don't know how to process the betrayal" I don't even know how to process that _title,_ good luck to Op man.

[@carolroberts4614]

Same here!

[@DemonAngel]

I was wonder if HBO after midnight movie thing to be honest

[@Ocean_Monae]

I'm saying! Like wtf!

[@memyselfandi7782]

SAME

[@shadyKpopFan]

The son will use the excuse of his mum passing forever, mark my words

[@passionproject568]

I believe you, I had a relationship with someone who used his mother's passing to excuse everything he did.

[@threeducks157]

The sons initial reaction was the real reaction, his later sobbing and "remorse" is equine excrement. His actions were disgusting and op ahould had taken time away from him. On the rainbow baby subject i once saw a lady try to assault police cause they were taking her "miracle baby " a 20ish yo and then got tased.

[@sleepyearth]

lmao. That's a babyman

[@BootyCrusader]

Genuinely pissed he was forgiven so easily tbh

[@emanx222]

That's the most polite way of calling something horse shit I've ever heard 🤣

[@pippo17173]

@Booty Crusader unfortunately it's mostly how the son is the last gift he got from his wife. So frustrating but we can only hope he actually learns or else we're gonna get a new post title "son betrayed me again by repeating the same mistake on top of stealing my funds"

[@byakuyatogami2905]

I'm a "rainbow baby" and my parents have never used that once to justify any trouble I've gotten into. Even kids who are desperately wanted won't be perfect angels and need consequences for their actions

[@brielle0808]

Yo Son had a girlfriend on tops of everything. He not only betrayed his dad and his girlfriend. That man is a piece of work.

[@ronhall5395]

Yeah, son has some real issues. I do wonder which one of them was the aggressor. GF is super sad because she realizes now she can't be with either one of them. Too bad,she could have said no.

[@Warlord-dc5un]

He ruined 3 relationships fr. He ruined his dad and his gfs relationship, he ruined his own relationship with his gf, the worst one his and his dads relationship.

[@danishaussie63]

I know this feeling of rage with family betrayal. My niece and her 3 lil kids were staying with me as she had once again been booted out of the house from her ex. She apparently felt the need to fool around with my partner while I was asleep upstairs, and when I found out, I beat the shit out of her. Was I sorry, not on your life!!! It wasnt the first time she had ruined someones relationship and pretty sure it wasnt the last. I havent seen her since this happened, 18 plus years ago. I was told to 'get over it' so you can imagine how that went down. It actually destroyed the whole family with what she did. Bad enough when friend betray you, but 'family', its a whole new ugly level.

[@JMac7395]

Story 1: So the son successfully manipulated OP into allowing him to live with him & suffer little to no consequences for his betrayal. OP is going to fall right back into their old routine. OP needs to face the facts that his son is selfish, entitled & spoiled.

[@ineedhoez]

Facts

[@chrismccloskey2502]

Only a broken phone!? Shiiite...he is lucky he didn't end up with a broken jaw and cut off for life. No forgiveness, no tears...boom...out of my life from that day on. The son is an unrepentant pos

[@AngryBudgieNoises]

I want to hope that his son isn’t that way and his investment is worth it, but yeah I have a feeling he’s gonna get screwed over. My overall feelings are that I wished I had a parent half as forgiving as OP.

[@politereminder6284]

Frankly, I blame the girlfriend.

[@doggolovescheese1310]

YES exactly! So manipulative! And abusive 😢 I'm an addict and I never did that to people I loved. There is no excuse for his behavior. I hope OP is okay now or as good as he can be. But I don't think his son will magically become better after all that shit

[@swearimnotarobot3746]

Guys. The step parent/step sibling kinks are meant to be jokes. 😂 In all seriousness though, these people are sick.

[@videofan1010]

How is it a joke if it isn't funny?

[@NoOne-fo1di]

@videofan1010 Humor is subjective, just because something isn't funny to you doesn't mean someone else won't find it humorous. Alot of people don't like Dave Chapelle and Jim Jefferies because of the offensive nature of the majority of their jokes but just because those people are offended and don't like the jokes doesn't stop other people from finding it funny.

[@partyshoes2917]

@@videofan1010 it's funny because it's not you either have that kind of sense of humor or you don't

[@GDMendezWrites]

technically the jokes were only to make fun of the people who actually had the kinks... so the people with the kinks were around before the jokes 🤢

[@bbjjbb61]

@@videofan1010 Oh gtfo🙄 Jeez some of y'all are so fucking uptight a diamond would pop out your ass in place of coal.

[@kaijumage5379]

Story 1: I'm impressed with the OP's restraint, that he didn't beat the kid to a bloody pulp either time. However, it kind of sounds like the kid could use a bit of an a$$ whooping to help straighten him out. Story 2: I wouldn't care if the miracle baby farted rainbows. Child free means child free, period. It's the OP's wedding. If the brother and SIL want to act like children then OP had every right to treat them as such.

[@Legion-xq8eo]

Yeah but in this day and age if the baby farted rainbows and u excluded it then that could be considered a hate crime towards a certain group of individuals!!

[@Commenter839]

@@Legion-xq8eo I guess you can make the argument that it excludes a certain group of individuals. Children. Childfree means childfree

[@davidsantiagotate7380]

I can’t help but imagine the supportive female friend in the story 1 update as wearing a cowboy hat, sheriff’s badge, sitting in a rocker and holding a pipe. She sounds cool.

[@imajinallthepurple]

I imagine her standing still on the porch, overseing it all unfold with legs apart, arms crossed and eyes glaring daggers at the ex-girlfriend. 🤭

[@catherinecox573]

Yessss I bet she's sooooo cool. I hope she sticks around to keep his son in check too.

[@throwawayaccount9150]

Lol wtf I was imagining her in big cowboy boots and the hat with a hay string in her mouth 😂😂😂

[@memyselfandi7782]

Lol saaammmmeee

[@thatdude3977]

She sounds lesbian

[@owl7072]

Story 1: "Does ruining my relationship make you feel better" Dude what do you mean 😭 You ruined _two_ relationships in one go, yours _and_ your dad's, you have no moral high ground in terms of relationships being ruined. Like, the ground you _do_ have is so far below the surface of the earth that you left the mortal plane and somehow found hell despite still being alive. Story 2: "He would bring _blessings"_ Blessings mean nothing if you don't want/didn't ask for them. Do they expect that excuse to work when they want him in honors classes? Or college? When he goes to get a job? All that work they put in to have a baby and they're going to ruin that poor baby's life one way or another by putting him on a pedestal the way they are.

[@maggpiprime954]

Three. His dad's, his own, and the one between him and his dad. 💔

[@annabellehe4307]

That's how narcissists literally think the world works lol they can do no wrong

[@TheNormExperience]

I would give anything for the Dad to have looked at his son and gone, “You’ve lost the high ground Anakin.”

[@RequiemPoete]

@@TheNormExperience Thank God I'm not the only nerd that thought of an Obiwan quote.

[@CatacombD]

With story 1, his son is, sadly, a real piece of shit. He cheated, then blamed and attacked the person who discovered his infidelity, rather than accepting any blame himself. Once he loses the fight (well, it wasn't even really a fight, since OP just restrained him) he switches to the waterworks to try to get out of the hole he's dug himself. And that's not even mentioning that all this disgusting behavior was done to his own widowed father. I wish OP the best, but I don't have much hope for this working out well for the two of them.

[@mattl6300]

The guy just found out that his girlfriend is cheating with his son, and he's apologizing for an angry reaction? That is a normal reaction. After that level of betrayal, you don't have a son anymore. Edit: he let the kid put hands on him after that betrayal? Then he let him move in? Wow.

[@EmmaKafrum666]

My latino ass was laughing like: YOU STUPID DOORMAT, HOW IN THE WORLD

[@draconicdreaming]

Exactly seriously he just got walked all over he is genuinely pathetic i would disown him instantly. What a complete idiot. Seriously op is a doormat

[@WardenSpectreCommander]

He has way too much restraint. NGL I would have beat the shit out of my son.

[@EmmaKafrum666]

@@WardenSpectreCommander he's a weakling with no self respect. His son manipulated him and he got invited to move in. Spineless guy. I dont pity a person like that. He's inviting trouble into his home after knowing his sons true feelings!

[@DemonGodRizer]

@@EmmaKafrum666 You are either a bot or someone talking out of their ass with not experience and i think the game god of war sums it up well, a good parent would die to protect their child. I consider him a good parent, he will never forgive his son but he is still his son.

[@tiawheeler1153]

In all honesty, the father from the first story is a saint. I don't think that I wouldn't completely cut both of them off for what they did. His son, just like the girlfriend, betrayed the OP in the worst way possible... but then he expected to be able to have the cake and the pie at the same time (go along with breaking up his father's relationship while expecting to keep his own). Edit: I am also annoyed with the fact that the father was the one to try and heal the rift with the son rather than the other way around. Like I said, the man is a saint.

[@pippo17173]

What else can he do? The easy answer ain't simple when the son is the last thing he got from his wife which make him even horrible and he probably know is. So frustrating

[@veronica5lmaa]

Not a saint, more likely an idiot who let people walk over him.

[@trillionbones89]

He is a much better father than his son deserves. He became physical and blaming his father for breaking up his relationship? This POS...

[@MasterBuilderDragon]

Story 1: The son has an alcohol problem. In the words of Cartman, “he’s using the Mel Gibson defense.” Keep your guard up, OP. This kid is a manipulator.

[@tacobelle6680]

Story 1 yikes! That son is a master manipulater. He cheats with his dads gf and all he thinks about is himself and not the pain that he caused his father and his own girlfriend. I got so mad when he started hitting his dad over the head, thats so messed up! The dad deserves so much better 😔 he sounds like a great person.

[@RequiemPoete]

Son's not a manipulator. That behavior is common among addicts and people with unprocessed issues. The son was trying to avoid his feelings of guilt by focusing on the (unjustified) anger caused by op's telling the gf. Once the anger was spent, all that was left was his guilt and self loathing.

[@kishagirl92]

@@RequiemPoete Son would have gotten a severe beating for all that disrespect. OP is spineless. NOTHING and I mean NOTHING excuses that kind of behavior. I’m fuming OP bought into his BS.

[@kathydurow6814]

Sounds like OP's trying for sainthood. I only see heartbreak for him in the future, with an addict son & both still have grief & other issues. Op's not in a very good space either, cue possible co-dependency.

[@robertx8020]

@@kishagirl92 Well we can only wait for the update! "son slept with my NEW GF ,I never saw it coming' /s

[@kishagirl92]

@@robertx8020 Exactly! Smdh

[@brokenrabbitsfoot]

Story 1 had me yelling. If my kid did all that to me I'd need a lot of space. The physical violence and then tears felt super manipulative to me. Sounds like the son has just suckered OP into believing whatever he wants OP to

[@anthonym6119]

Yeah I don’t trust the son at all

[@akl2k7]

I half expect there to be a further update only a little bit down the line that the son acted up again, got kicked out and is now out of OP's life until further notice.

[@jaymevosburgh3660]

Yeah, like he is using his mother's death and his father's grief against him. I think the son deserves to get his ass kicked for this.

[@briansmaller7443]

If my son did that I would not stop loving him, but I also would not have him in my life.

[@AndyyWithAY]

I love story 2. I hate that people think that the world is supposed to treat their little miracle special. Teachers aren't going to care if he's a rainbow baby, cops aren't going to care if he's a rainbow baby, bosses aren't going to care. Why are they so Gung ho for this child to go to the wedding? There's no discrimination. No children are attending. This child is probably already out of control. The flashcards are hilarious. You love to see it 🙌🏾🙌🏾 NTA

[@hiro4344]

Another reason not to make an exception I can see from a mile away is them trying to steal the spotlight away from the couple by talking about their special bundle of joy as much as possible and to anyone they can as if this was somehow the baby's special day too.

[@bunnyslippers191]

Well, teachers are supposedly taught that they have to get creative with students who just aren't understanding something. Bro and SIL weren't understanding when OP and/or fiancee stated calmly and clearly, "No, the wedding is child free," so OP got creative and used the flashcards. It finally got through to Bro and SIL when nothing else did. Kudos to OP for creativity and thinking outside the box.

[@OZARKMOON1960]

@@hiro4344 Of course and seeing how much of the entire wedding they can hijack with a screaming kid.

[@GMAMEC]

I was a “Rainbow Baby” and I definitely didn’t have any special privileges. I was taught the importance of humility, respecting others, and hard work. These parents doing a disservice to this child.

[@ScooterBond1970]

@@hiro4344 and also trying to weasel little rainbow baby into all the wedding photos.

[@catherinecox573]

Story 2 got me annoyed at OP's family. When my kid was about 7 months old, a friend invited me to their child free wedding. I drove an hour in the rain to drop my baby at my sister's, then 1.5 hours in the opposite direction (still in the rain) to get to the wedding just to have his new wife's cousin bring her 4 rowdy little gremlins. Don't bring your kids to a child free wedding. You're being disrespectful to the bride & groom and everyone who followed the rules. 🙄

[@judelbugsrutter6727]

😮😢 💯... are they usually as thick as 2 bricks? What a nightmare pair

[@soogymoogi]

Story 2: some of these "rainbow baby" parents are the absolute worst. I don't know why their struggles with infertility, etc somehow mean they can ignore people's boundaries around children.

[@mindyschocolate]

Agreed. Stay home and enjoy your baby if you want to fawn over it so badly.

[@theseawriter]

Story 2: They’re acting like the Rainbow Baby has magic powers.

[@robertbishop5158]

People missed the whole thing in the post. I'm going to go out on a limb and Say that OP and fiance won't be included in anything involving the brother and his family. I guess it was more important to Be right in that situation than a relationship with your brother. DING DING OP won his first place prize he got ENJOY the perks!!!

[@nnicsu]

@@robertbishop5158With that type of entitled brother and his entitled family why would anyone want to be involved with (read: trampled on by) them lmao.

[@robertbishop5158]

@@nnicsu you can be right without being condescending. What I am saying Be a A $$hole about things isn't the way OP has every right to have a wedding he Wants his brother doesn't have go, period. In return his brother doesn't have to invite OP events either Birthdays Holidays ect. There are consequences For actions OP is about to find out

[@concretecaveman7666]

@@robertbishop5158 Rainbow Baby's magical and supernatural abilities will appear when he's around 5 or 6 years old, and he demonstrates, how he can turn even a simple shopping trip into a full-blown nightmare. You can tell by daddy's attitude this kid will be spoiled rotten. Miracle baby my ass. Every baby is a miracle, and spoiled miserable brats are a dime a dozen. They're raised by idiots like O.P.'s brother and sister-in-law and aided and abetted by people like the grandparents. O.P. isn't going to be missing a damned thing if idiot brother cut's him off.

[@robertbishop5158]

@@concretecaveman7666 you need to look Up the definition of rainbow baby again I'm a 100 percent sure you are wrong

[@juanhaines7295]

Story 1 I've heard this one. Poor guy. Double betrayals are always the worst.

[@kazzuo32]

#1. Why is he apologizing for reacting like he did. And they trying to justify this lack of loyalty. I feel terrible for op.

[@maggiemagennis3507]

Story 1 is such a betrayal that no contact should be the response and go to therapy for yourself. I could never trust the son and would disinherit him. So sorry for OP but some things are unforgivable.

[@jennysmith38]

Up until around 2008, there was no such term as "rainbow babies". I had a total of 6 miscarriages and have one son, I didn't treat him like these people in Ops story. I have 2 aunt's that had several miscarriages, with a few still births. One of the aunt's had a baby that was so small when she was born, they didn't think she would survive, when she did, one of the big magazines wanted to do a story on her and then every 5 years, my uncle told them that she was probably going to be spoilt enough as it is, so no, they can't do her be story. Yes, it's wonderful to finally have a baby, and they are very special to you, but that doesn't mean everyone has to let them do whatever their parents or the child wants.

[@panda-wk8mv]

my parents had a few late miscariages before they had me (first child) and never said anything about it, neither did anyone else, untill I was about 25 and I was sat with one of my relatives getting drunk after a party at their house and it came up in conversation about something about my parents before they had kids. I can't imagine how weird it is for these "rainbow babies" to have the taughts of all the hope and greif that came before be an integral part of their childhood and how their parents view them as different and seemingly superior to other children. just imagining what it's going to be like when this "rainbow baby" grows up and goes to school and trys explaining they should get preferential treatment (that they have always grown up expecting) because of it to other kids...

[@Cel3ere5]

Im ignorant in this, why are they called "rainbow babies"?

[@jimmyjohnjuan]

Are there people really heamed up about how he reacted? His son betrayed him with his gf. Honestly for at that point he would become any dude on the street. Because he and she is for the streets. That son can never be trusted again. If you don't have the self control to not sleep with your family s/o them you can't be trusted for anything. If I was his friend, we wouldn't be friend afterwards. Also he's lucky he didn't lose a tooth.

[@helenlewis2510]

I wonder how long those 2 would have kept sleeping together if op hadn’t seen those pictures

[@Wander85942]

Story 2- they’re in for a shock when they run into someone else with a rainbow baby.

[@AndyyWithAY]

I never considered that. I want to see a story like that one day--hilarity would ensure

[@despinasgarden.4100]

@@AndyyWithAY i imagine it would be a "you dare using my own spells towards me?" kind of situation. Chris: my son can't be punished for hitting that kid! He is a rainbow baby! Father of the other kid: so is my child. Chris: .....

[@carolroberts4614]

There Can Be Only One!

[@AndyyWithAY]

@@despinasgarden.4100 I had to laugh outloud. Instant karma 😂

[@dc.pxrecious]

@@carolroberts4614 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@lovelywolv]

The first story reminds me of the Op who's husband cheated with her mom and her mom's youngest kid and like the 2 others were her husband's 🤢

[@momshardrockvideos]

Story1: I’m so very sorry! This is unimaginable. I was cheated on by my ex but with a stranger. I can’t even imagine being betrayed by my own family. I hope only good things for the both of you. Definitely stay away from the ex gf. Tell his gf she definitely deserves to know. You need to do what you have to for your own mental health and don’t worry about who thinks it’s right. I wish you well. Take care of yourself.

[@only1one1me]

I can’t imagine any amount of lostness that would lead me to sleep with my dad’s girlfriend.

[@MrZuriax]

Towards the end it all sounded like hysterical bonding and a bunch of rug sweeping. The son is a flaming hot mess and the dad should excommunicate him.

[@holyek7892]

The first story is so sad. I expected the son to be reunited with his mother.

[@gamer4837]

Unacceptable? Your reaction was completely understandable and acceptable for the situation.

[@momshardrockvideos]

Last story: I hope you have an amazing wedding. It’s YOUR day if you don’t want kids that is perfectly acceptable. They are the AH and I include your parents in this as well. The world does not revolve around the kid despite him being a miracle baby. I’m glad they got the kid they wanted but that doesn’t mean everyone should cater to their whims. Don’t give in to anyone’s demands about this. I hope you special day is everything you want and congratulations!!!

[@thebeebz9511]

This is the best approach to a childfree wedding I have ever heard. Trying to object to childfree wedding rules is equal to announcing your child is better and more important than everyone else's kid. The problem with child free weddings is someone always tries to break the rules and when they do they make a scene and alienate both the newlyweds and punish everyone who followed the rules. This is why so many people get married in vegas or on top of volcanoes or while skydiving.

[@WardenSpectreCommander]

OP has God level restraint, the son is blessed OP has God level restraint . The average father would have kicked his ass. Once the hand hits the face ,all bets are off.

[@gcarr1089]

Story 1 - sounds more like gf cheated on OP with son, if she had feelings for OP she would never have done it. Wonder how many other men she had been with during the relationship that OP knows nothing about. As for son, now he has to live with the fact he had badly hurt the person who loved him the most, don't know how he is going to live with that.

[@draconicdreaming]

you can't just blame one person it takes two to tango. Op is a doormat and honestly i believe his son will do this again with the next partner op has

[@iasomnium919]

From the sounds of it, the son probably will leave with it easily. He's honestly gross.

[@magma1lord]

Man the OP of the first story is a good father, and person. I couldn't do that I think. If somebody betrays me. I drop them no matter what no matter who they are.

[@emanuelsommar7243]

Im pretty sure mine would have been a life sentence where I live and a death sentence where it is . I can't even fathom this.

[@rainbow_fox_]

story 1: i have no idea how OP can be this forgiving. i feel like he's too attached to the idea that his son is "all he has left" and too worried about losing him so he's desperate to get him back in his life no matter what, which is just... sad. i feel like that's just telling his son that he can betray him again or do other messed up shit and his dad is always going to stand by him anyway. the son deserved far more negative consequences than just getting his phone broken, imo.

[@jenfree2241]

Story 2: sounds like you might need to make another set of flashcards for the rest of the family...

[@kathydurow6814]

Suggestions: Choose. Someone. To. Stay. Home. And. Look. After. The Toddler. ( 3 yo!) Or: Hire. A Babysitter.

[@STB-jh7od]

Story 1: when son asked about ruining his relationship, I'd remind him he did it to me. Moment he laid hands on me, I'd decked him. Then afterwards maybe talk about it.

[@jessicawolfe5861]

You never expect your kid to be the one to deeply harm you. Especially when there has been a lot of trauma and loss. You do forgive but it takes a very long time to grieve the loss of him, which gets tied up with the loss of your wife.

[@LeggoMyGekko]

Ouch... already hitting hard with the “but I pushed on for my son.” I can’t imagine

[@onepieceisking5493]

Story 1, NTA. Update, he wasn't going to tell his girlfriend anything. That's evident by refusing to text or call op and going with friends to avoid it. Even though it became a fight, at least the poor kid came to senses and talked it out with op.

[@Sir_Gerald_Nosehairs.]

Poor kid? His betrayal was far worse than the OP's girlfriend. And look what he did, physically assault his father until he realised his father was much stronger and could beat the crap out of him if he chose, and he turned on the waterworks.

[@Erinia13]

@R B Agreed, the son is a POS he's taking advantage of his dad mental health tbh. OP is making a mistake he hasn't processed the betrayal, and this happiness is temporary. Maybe in a few years, when he has healed some and tries dating again, all negative feelings towards his son might rise again even worse. I have seeing it in people betrayed as bad as this, it's like they live in shock and slowly process it and when they finally heal they can't stand that person and cut them off their life completely because suddenly they realize 5, 10 years down the line that the love is gone or even if they still love that person their revulsion for who they are what they did is bigger and cannot stand being around them anymore. Or in cases when family members slept with your partner when you get someone new all those feelings, distrust, stress emerge once again and you realize that you are unable to have a healthy relationship while you keep around the person bringing out of you all that turmoil. I wish the best for OP, but I'm not very optimistic seeing how he is setting himself up for heartbreak again, and his grown ass son is a lying manipulative snake with zero accountability. In the worst moments is when you see the best and the worst of someone, so far, his son is an utter disappointment in all senses.

[@ps9501]

I'm so sick of people acting like 21 year old is still blameless child that is not responsible for anything lmao

[@tegantalks9612]

You know, I got invited to a child free wedding one time… you know what I did? Made arrangements for my children to stay with their grandparents so my husband and I could go. It was really nice to not have to worry about chasing toddlers and actually be able to sit with other grown ups and play What Do You Meme, have adult conversations, dance, and stay out later. People should stop being so offended by child free events and take it as an opportunity to do a date night or just not go to the wedding.

[@gaywerewolf1294]

Story 1: I honestly can't wait for the sequel waiting to happen! "My Son Betrayed Me Yet Again. What Should I Do?". OP's son literally just manipulated not even an hour after hitting him and instead of taking the better course of action (cutting him off for a time and revisiting the situation later) he immediately decides to let his son, who admitted to being an alcoholic and hiding it, into his home. such a smart move! if bringing up the alcohol and his mother isn't manipulation then idk what is. and personally? I would have had his ass out on the curb.

[@runepistol]

Ok, the update damn near made ME cry. There's a lotta pain in that father-son relationship...

[@darcos7535]

Yes, this is the first reddit story to cause me to cry in a long time.

[@LaineyBug2020]

Story-1: Doesn't sound like the most healthy of relationships just looking at the points that OP was 16 when they had him and thought it was ok to have him move out at 16. Like there's some unstable foundations here, and makes me wonder what other behaviors were standard. I'm not saying abusive or negligent or anything, but it doesn't sound like an environment where stellar judgment can develop. Kids need boundaries, or they end up behaving like his kid did.

[@middaydraws3379]

I really hope you're not trying to blame OP for this happening. You can be the best parent in the world and your kid still turns out to be a shitty person. Boundaries don't mean shit even if your kid grew up with them if the kid simply doesn't care.

[@keplersdream901]

Bingo. The son was disgusting for cheating with OP's GF. That being said, I don't believe OP when he says that he "doesn't know about any resentment."

[@gregjayonnaise8314]

Yeah, this was the impression I got. Still not an excuse for what the kid did, but the situation sounds a lot less stable than OP presents.

[@zombbae]

I’m so sorry for the first man. This happened to me with my cousin. She was literally my best friend and like a sister. She slept with the guy I was in love with and it kills me. She’s since passed away but the fact that she could do that is unfathomable to me.

[@PDHABigDaddy]

Story 2: op is a freaking legend. Brother and SIL were harassing them about the child and weren't taking "no" for an answer. Once the full story gets around I'm pretty sure people's tones will change

[@Mr.Mars90]

First story, the op lost me by forgiving his son after what he did and let him come back to his home. Really pathetic. No wonder he got cheated on.

[@paulahowlett8452]

If it was me being betrayed it would be more than a phone broken. This son has no moral compass. Respect loyalty and honor make for any relationship. To betray someone is wrong,, to betray a loved one is unforgivable

[@paden1865able]

I had to go back to check the son's age in story one, sounded like he was still a teen for a moment. Don't just blame him, though, blame the girlfriend for not saying no to his advances. Hell, she could have been the one pursuing him because the thought of a younger lover tripped her switch. Betrayal like that is off the chart and I know that I wouldn't be able to forgive either of them or keep them in my life. Grief doesn't give you any excuse to sleep with someone else's special person. He's lucky to have had his dad and he threw it all away for sex with his dad's new lady. What a complete idiot. And if it was on her instigation, he could have said no to her.

[@dc.pxrecious]

Wow I thought the exact same thing

[@plantemor]

"You can forgive the person not the action" It's probably the truest description of forgiveness ever.

[@hiro4344]

Somehow I think if my older sister knew that "Rainbow" baby was a thing it wouldn't mean anything different from "Finally!" She and her husband had a lot of trouble and I believe a few miscarriages. I can't imagine her doing anything different having such a title. I didn't even know it was a thing until two or three years ago after discovering this channel.

[@LolaSweetheart]

Your wedding, your rules, your choice. If anyone doesn't respect this, don't come to the wedding. I've been to child free weddings and they're great, no worrying about little ones or them making a racket during the vows. I'd be tempted to take off and get married somewhere without anyone else there, and host a great party after the honeymoon for everyone else. And still no kids there ;)

[@RG-vs8qz]

Story 1: OP does not have to forgive either of them because they did this knowing his pain. He especially doesn't have to forgive his son because that is one of the worst betrayals

[@leahrame5094]

I wish I could be this understanding and have such a big heart as the first OP.

[@thepineapple8434]

The fact that the phone was the only thing he broke in that moment is quite amazing. Some people would have detonated.

[@GonzoHenson]

That rainbow baby nonsense. The parents are so stubborn and upset because they secretly thought that their baby was going to be the breakout guest star of the wedding. "Sure, the bride looks lovely, but OMIGOD A RAINBOW BAAAABBBYYYY!" They have some fantasy in their head of everyone coming to get a special blessing by sniffing the baby's diaper or something whilst the parents hold the child aloft Lion-King-style and the wedding DJ breaks out the African choral music. And that while this happens, the bride and groom will smile generously, so happy that they could arrange this wedding so that everyone could bask in the presence of the Living Miracle Child. Send those parents a coffee subscription for Christmas. They need to wake up and smell some.

[@gordybrown3667]

That kid in the second story is going to be a little terror when he grows up because no matter what he kid does they'll just wave it away by saying he's a miracle no

[@akl2k7]

Exactly. Parents like this ignore that one of the main objectives of parenthood is raising their kids to be an upstanding citizen. Unfortunately, when you raise your kid like he's the second coming of Christ, you'll get the antichrist instead.

[@emilybarclay8831]

Parents who sleep with their kid’s partners and kids who sleep with their parents partners are literally the worst people on the planet. There’s literally no one they won’t willingly hurt and nothing they won’t do to hurt others

[@PeterShipley1]

11:53 : "how some parents think their little bundle of joy should be allowed anywhere" like a lot of dog owners

[@GLoLChibs]

Therapy for the betrayal yes. Getting on him for being 'aggressive'? Nah. People need to thicken up. A person goes off once in their life is not red alarms.

[@sonsosavage9987]

It's incredible he had the self control to destroy a phone and not teeth.

[@kratkartan1486]

Story 1: OPs son does not deserve the second chance OP is giving him. What he did is sick and disown worthy.

[@Russman67]

Story 2: Maybe instead of flashcards he could have done interpretive dance? It is entirely within their right to have a child free wedding. And I am sure that they understand that that means some people won't be able to attend. Not the asshole. Extra points for creativity!

[@browniewin4121]

1) Wow, such a twisted betrayal. What the hell were they thinking, that is so nasty. It is only reasonable to kick out lying, cheating GF and going NC, and also distance from his son for a time. It's good OP is getting therapy. I feel so sad for OP. After update: It's good OP told his son's GF about the cheating. It is terrible that his son does not want to take responsibility for his actions and became violent. Sad he has a drinking problem and didn't find a better therapist if he felt the one he had wasn't helping. I do hope the son can straighten himself out. OP is much more reasonable and forgiving that most would be. 2) NTA for refusing to enable the brother and SIL and their overindulged child. I do not blame OP for doing this when they have been so obnoxiously pushing and think their "miracle baby" is so special and cannot be excluded.

[@D123-f9k]

This man sure earned a #1 Dad mug. I don’t think I could have done it in his shoes

[@hothotheat3000]

Why do cheaters always want a hug? I’ve read that detail in so many stories. What the hell.

[@carolroberts4614]

So they can stab you in the back again?

[@veronica5lmaa]

OP is a pushover and the son will do it again. Either betray him this way, or do something different the next time. He isn't helping his kid AT ALL.

[@dan_mer]

Story 2. I would start punching the second I heard anyone say 'rainbow baby'.

[@allanmoore4353]

Story 2, OP "disrespected" brother? No, Brother was disrespecting OP. Love the flash cards. 😉

[@claudinecooper3398]

This is the saddest story but also hopeful. Blessings to you OP.

[@zachf748]

These stories of people sleeping with their parents / siblings partners are absolutely mind boggling to me. The level is disrespect is astounding. Cheats bad enough, but this?… You’re just a despicable person if you could ever even think of doing something like this.

[@Felix24148]

Wow... Hearing what this boy did with his dad's girlfriend really ticked me off. I understand that they made up in the end. But the way he was acting prior had me the same level of angry as that story about the guy who's son stole his deceased wife's family ring to propose with it

[@greenbeacon394]

Story 2: The puppet idea would’ve been hilarious!😹

[@Kati_P]

My 17-year-old is a rainbow baby, but we've never treated him any differently than his brother, who is 10 years older. Just because you were able to have a baby after a loss, or even several, doesn't make your child special to the world. Raising them like they're better than everybody else, including family, and like the rules don't apply to them just sets them up for failure when they get older. I see many more entitled parents/people stories coming from this family in the future.

[@WillianyAmill]

Eww. She's the older adult and she's not family. she was the one who had no business trying to get back with OP.

[@KansasNotTheBand]

honestly the flashcards are so much funnier than what i would have done 😂 i'd have probably jumped straight to saying something dumb like if they show up with their kid i'll have them arrested for trespassing (knowing full-well that probably wouldn't fly with a judge but i get irrational when i'm annoyed or mad). obviously a baby for a couple who struggled to conceive _is_ going to be a kind of miracle.... but only to them. as soon as the kid is more than 2 or 3 years old, no one else is gonna give a flying fvck. teachers aren't going to make exceptions for them and employers are going to mock them if the kid tries to use it as a defense for why they're $#!+ at their job (which will obviously be the result of the parents coddling them). "you can't fire me because i'm a 🌈rainbow baby🌈" "oh i had no idea! well in that case shall we get you a crib and a blankie? maybe a juice box and some crayons so you can color yourself a rainbow? shut the fuck up and get out, you're still fired." seriously. i'm happy you got to have a kid, but it doesn't make the kid special.

[@Mewse1203]

Story 2: NTA they wouldn't take no for an answer, harassed and threatened OP and say OO disrespected them? They're kidding right?

[@andrewalexander9492]

Assuming this is true (not necessarily a safe assumption) OP's son moved out on his own when he was 16 years old. Timeline is a little fuzzy, but that is eithe right after his mother died, or it was while she was dying of lung cancer. Either way, kids moving out on their own either just before or right after their mother dies is not a normal family dynamic. Something else was already badly screwed up in this family.

[@scottluther6699]

Lol, that was hysterical. I’d just tell everyone the truth. You wanted a child free wedding, that’s your right. You explained it to them at least 5 times and they keep harassing you to change your mind. You knew they would do it again while visiting and thought this was a light hearted way to tell them you were t going to change your mind… for the 6th time.

[@buffysheffield1328]

Story 2 - flash cards should have read “Get A Babysitter Or Stay Home “ 😂

[@shannonbullock2202]

A parent's love truly is unconditional. This story breaks and warms my heart at the same time. What a strange feeling lol

[@catking1059]

This is why I don’t think people under 25 should be considered adults.

[@yozarahirvi4750]

okay, the discussion in the update starting by the son asking if ruining his relationship made OP feel better should have immediately followed up by OP throwing him out !

[@jessereyna6662]

Story 2: They told her to fix it. Op should re-write the book Baby’s day out. With the ending being slightly different. Baby slips away from the kidnappers and the adventure begins. baby at the bank, baby at the park, baby at the construction site, even baby at the retirement home. But, baby tries one more spot, baby is denied entry at the church, baby goes to side door, baby tries the back door baby begs and pleads but denied nonetheless. Kidnappers arrive and find baby at the front door of the church with a piece of paper stating, this is a child free wedding. Baby is denied and kidnapped once again.

[@NintendoPlayBox360]

The father is a bigger man then me for certain. I would likely never be able to forgive such a betrayal, even when considering the circumstances of the son.

[@madcatlady]

I see elder abuse in my crystal ball

[@emanuelsommar7243]

Story 1.. WOW Just eeefing WOW . As a single father to a young man who I have raised alone since he was 2 I can't even fathom this. I love my son with my life and my lady I truly love and am so glad she is in my life But if they ever betrayed me like this I would be scared to be around me and I know for sure I would have to get away from them

[@martin99110]

Hell no, I’d have no son after that.

[@polarbearhero9803]

Story 1. Does the kid love his father? He might say now he does and is sorry but those are not the actions of a loving son. Something is wrong. This is not normal. Rainbow baby. Lol! What is the couple going to do when they meet all the other “special miracle” rainbow babies? Do they know how many babies are born after losses? Miscarriages are common. Very common. My grandkids are “rainbow babies. My DIL lost two babies before these two. No one has used the term rainbow. All kids are miracles.

[@justine8387]

You can put in boundaries and distance someone because of what they have done but I believe this is a deeply serious issue with the sons mental health from trauma. This is not an excuse but may be a reason. The girlfriend his a predator. Its so gross.

[@dc.pxrecious]

My thoughts exactly

[@freezypop3496]

Love how everyone thinks they need theropy after getting angry? Its just an emotion. No different from happiness or sadness. As long as dude isnt raging 24/7 than anger especially given the situation is 100% ok

[@akl2k7]

These people ignore that there are situations where people are justified in getting angry. Having two people betray you like this is one of them. The kid's lucky all he left with was a broken phone.

[@emilybarclay8831]

He should use therapy to talk through the situation. Because sometimes having an unrelated person to talk through your issues with can help you realise things you didn’t before