AITA For Not Taking In My Sister's 8 Yr Old Daughter?!

[@lar-in-a-crisis]

I'm pretty sure that in the story with the psycho MIL and the paternity tests that the husband wasn't questioning whether HE was the father of their child, but was questioning whether HIS DAD is his biological parent, as a result of MIL's reaction to OP's post

[@michellelanter]

The one about the lady who lost her sister and her baby in the car accident had me crying. That poor woman. And for her friend to treat her that way, good grief! Unreal, absolutely unreal. Horribly selfish person, not a friend at all.

[@alexp712]

That one story about the woman refusing to share her nephews money made me so mad. I hate that level of entitled behavior. Children aren't their parents' possessions, they're people. And frankly, his age isn't even relevant, he could have been a minor and I still think what's his is his.

[@Raddiebaddie]

Agreed!!

[@sierram9573]

I feel like the door to door fundraisers for kids is a lot more dangerous than a lot of people talk about, too Especially for how many kids I saw have to do it on their own, or just with a couple other kids

[@Zelda00Gamer]

Right? Like that teen boy who (I don’t totally remember the story) knocked on the wrong door picking up his brother (I think?) and got shot?? That was last year I believe. Or 2022. It was recent. Kid was black shooter was racist.

[@KylaFuller]

I’m the parent on my sisters bank account. We opened it when she was 16 and she’s now 22. I have denied my mom access and do not answer her questions regarding it. There’s a reason she can’t touch it.

[@thegrimlooper]

Wow. She was 8months pregnant when she lost her baby AND her little sister. If that was my best friend, my wedding would wait. I would do absolutely anything to help them through this horrible ordeal. I’d give the shirt off my back and the shoes off my feet. Some people shouldn’t be in any relationships whatsoever

[@abunlover]

School fundraisers are literally so dumb. My school district my senior year of high school, the district budget didn't pass the 60% threshold of votes to pass (my school district was about half the town I grew up in) even though is got over 55%. As a result, all club sports (aka non-competitive, the ones kids not old enough for JV and Varsity) in the middle school and the arts, language, and music departments got huge cuts and had to cancel experiential trips. Hence, a lot of fundraising kicked in and those same people that voted not to pass the budget with tax increases donated enough to surpass the budgetary difference. It was so dumb, like the money is going to the exact same place. The tax vote happened TWICE with the same results and the school district and PTA made town announcements stating exactly would happen (the cuts) if it didn't pass, but god forbid that money come from taxes instead of car washes and kids spending their weekends holding up signs on every street corner begging to keep playing sports, instruments, etc

[@alexk.02]

Isn't he questioning his own paternity and not his kids because of MIL's reaction?

[@jessicarabbit8195]

My heart breaks for the little girl who no one wanted sad truly sad.

[@Raddiebaddie]

If that mother in law isn’t willing to go to therapy or go to a psychiatrist then she has no place in their new child’s life

[@Sleipnirseight]

AITA has honestly given me better skills at assessing social situations and the intentions of others.

[@missadeadlove4936]

In regards to the woman who's in-laws don't like her. I 100% understand her situation. My MIL tried her best to break up my now husband and I when we first started dating. It started with not respecting our time/lives by forcing herself into an extended stay the first time I met her. Same thing happened several more times but escalated with passive aggressive digs and wedging herself into really uncomfortable situations that she had no place being involved with. She tried to love bomb me from afar but treated me terribly in person. It got to a point that, after a few drinks, I told her how unloved and disrespected I felt and that she needed to stop making terrible comments about me and one of my family members. She tried to pull the crocodile tears move and get my husband to side with her. Absolutely backfired on her. She has still never apologized for her behaviour and acts like it never happened. Now that we have a second child together and she knows that there is no wedge she can drive between us, she's back to the love bombing thinking she can win me over or guilt me into accepting her lack of respect for my boundaries. It won't work. The few times a year that I have to see her, I yellow rock her ( I don't want things to be any more uncomfortable for my husband or stressful for my young children). Now she pays me backhanded compliments in the most condescending ways possible ( maybe she thinks I'm too stupid to notice) and tells me that she loves me 🤮. I only speak with her as much as I absolutely have to and my husband and I have an agreement that I can call it quits anytime and she'll be unwelcome in our home should that time come. She's very sweet with my children and I refuse to be "the reason she doesn't see her son" so I play nice. But I'm ready to go no contact at anytime. I absolutely didn't marry my husband's family. If my family treated him as poorly as I've been treated I would never make him see them again. I'm fully capable of visiting my family without him if that were the case, but it's not, and the married their family thing is absolute BS. We married eachother to start our own family and that is our focus, our children and our relationship.

[@test-kf2zv]

Last story: I'm just baffled by the immediate jump to foster care. OP has the right to make their own life choices, and I also agree that taking in a kid and making them feel unwanted would be wrong. I know people who were unwanted, and it did a lot of damage. But they're not going to consider other family members, before foster care? Family friends? I also like the suggestion of finding someone who could help. Or if OP could even meet their parents halfway and have the kid come over after school a few afternoons a week. Foster care is a pretty cavalier suggestion, even if OP is technically in the right. I guess not everyone has other family/friends, though, and maybe OP jumping to "welp, foster care" is an indication they don't feel very close with the niece. I just don't get it.

[@captainfluffypaws7068]

I think you might be right with this. We definitely don't hear much about their social circles and who could take the niece in. Plus, this child does need family as a support.

[@Raddiebaddie]

17:48 saaame Omgg peoples short tolerance for grief and ability to make things about them is wild to me. You don’t just get over and move on when you lose your child and sibling like sorry dude your little party is not a priority rn

[@desireeeeam]

There are other creators who do AITA and love them, so much, watch them daily, but when Isabella does them it’s so much more entertaining. No theatrics, just chillin’ and I love that ❤

[@Raddiebaddie]

I’m so glad I found this I love the unfiltered reactions that we’re all thinking😂

[@abigabi9368]

My boyfriend’s mom has been making disparaging remarks about our relationship because we haven’t seen each other in person in a while. We live within 30 min of each other, but we were both sick at different times, traveling, or snowed in during our recent winter break. Now she keeps saying that I’m just a friend or I can’t be his girlfriend since we almost never see each other. I’m 20 and he’s 21 so it’s not like we’re young kids. We FaceTime almost every night except for the rare occasion we can’t. Thankfully, he’s really good about standing up for me to his mom when she says this to him. We’ve both talked about it and agree that she has no right to dictate what our relationship should look like.

[@draydray96]

Yasss I love your AITA content, perfect for me to listen to while I drive for work ❤😌

[@LifewithIsabellaLanter]

aww that makes me so happy thank you for being here!!

[@jessicarabbit8195]

I hate school fund raisers I refuse to let my kids do them.

[@roselover411]

I see where you're coming from on the last story, but if it were me, I'd absolutely feel obligated to take her in. The foster care system is a disaster, and I'd be determined to find a way to make it work so she wouldn't have to go into it. Things might be tight, it might be hard, but I would want to protect my niece as much as I can.

[@Akyra2011]

The first story kinda sounds like my mother in law! When me and hubby got married she wasn't happy, then hubby told her I was pregnant. She told hubby she would pay for the abortion!! Needless to say we did NOT have an abortion! When we got pregnant with baby number 2 she fussed at us for not using protection and that we were irresponsible!! Even to this day she has limited access to our kids!

[@mcrchickenluvr]

With that first story, the MIL had actually cheated on her husband. The man he thought he was his father actually wasn’t his father. She was being an absolute hypocrite when she said they need to get a DNA test.

[@AshaGlenn]

This is my first time joining one of these videos, this is really great Isabella! You do a really good job with these, very entertaining, and I love your commentary, and I agree with everything you said.

[@pixiegirl131415]

This has been a very strange winter in Minnesota. It didn’t get cold or snow until after Christmas, it is now over 40°, and all our snow has melted, and my grass is starting to turn green. 🤷🏻‍♀️

[@thegrimlooper]

I live in northern MN and this winter has been really weird. It will rain. Then melt. Then snow. Then melt. Then rain and snow, and freeze and get to -10 then it’ll be up to 30 degrees the next day. Like what?!?!

[@EmmyRae1885]

The OP with the nephews savings account should just make the nephew the main account holder

[@Sleipnirseight]

Soooo a lot of those school fundraisers are kinda scammy. It's a pain in the ass, and the school/org doesn't get that much money from doing it.

[@AshaGlenn]

Awwww, her mother-in-law is a narcissist. There's nothing they can do, she gets off on these behaviors. I agree with no contact.

[@JellybeanInc]

As someone who helped pay her mothers bills for years and whose mother NEVER learned to manage money better, I hope the nephew l doesn't cave and bail his mom out.

[@Raddiebaddie]

13:54 honestly even if he was 18 they shouldn’t be able to steal from him :/

[@mars4697]

By the time i got married.. my mil was a close friend. Grateful!! …

[@janewaysmom]

4:45 That's fair about the husband questioning. If anyone else in the family believes her over you, good riddance, and they can get out of op's life.

[@ArwenNMyrtlesMom]

Not the a-hole for being in tune with your limits. There is a good chance this child might have big feelings and trauma due to being abandoned by mom, and let's face it, she's gonna feel abandoned by the grandparents as well. This trauma might manifest in acting out, which is unfair to your children. I would suggest that grandma call DHS and find out what resources are available for the child and the grandparents, too, for that matter. There should be respite care, possibility therapeutic childcare for the child. They are foster care, after all.

[@ShelbyRiemer]

Yay! First Like and Comment 😁🔥 So ready for this video! I'm Fargo ND -this winter has been AMAZING. We recently just got cold (below 0) and barely have gotten any snow.

[@LifewithIsabellaLanter]

whewwww its been so cold here I'm sorry! stay warm hun!!

[@ShelbyRiemer]

@@LifewithIsabellaLanter you too! 😊

[@KylaFuller]

Children are not toys. It’s complicated but she said no.

[@PenelopeAstony]

Regarding the story of Mother-In-Law wanting to have daughter-In-Law take a paternity test for her newborn kiddo; I want to explore how I think I would react personally, as just one person of a bajillion with completely unique reactions and feelings about things, and see if I can connect with this situation through my own lenses. To be clear, I'm not wanting to explore what OP SHOULD have done, cuz I think they're entitled to have their own reactions and choices unique to them. My partners Mother and Father hate me, but not because OF me and who I am as a person, but because they wanted my partner to marry someone else and they resent my existence. It really hurts my feelings, and my partner is super supportive of me in this whole dynamic, so my perspective is coming from one of a healthy, loving, flawed and safe partnership. Based on what I read and how I understood it per my own values and perspective, I feel like I would have said "look, romantic partner. I understand that your mom has gotten into your head about this shit. I am completely willing to, and have an appointment made to get the paternity test. Now, to be completely real with you, it super duper hurts my feelings and makes me genuinely doubt so much of the foundational trust of our relationship. Like, your mom hates me, for invalid reasons that you agree are invalid and intolerant, and yet you're taking her point of view into more consideration than a grain of salt... Wow. I feel like we had so much trust built, and now you're questioning that over a suggestion from a person with disingenuous intentions. I get being worried and getting wrapped up in "what if" anxiety, but haven't we talked about a million different versions of this kind of anxiety before, and been able to BUILD trust over it, not be divided? Truly, sincerely, why is this situation different for you? Is there a trauma or something that it's scratching up against that you're thinking about that you aren't sharing with me? What do you think you will think and feel when the paternity test comes back that our child is related to you, and almost 99,999,999.9% likely to be your direct offspring genetics?? Why is this a thing you're questioning in particular as opposed to most other issues we have had?" I can't even imagine how hurt I would feel at even having to have this convo. If that's a breaking point for someone else or myself, I would hope not to be judged. I would also hope to make it work with my partner, but I can imagine if this split us up after trying to figure out our issue around this. Gosh. My heart feels so sad for everyone here, not much for MIL but to be fair idk her mental state. doesn't excuse her behavior tho :/

[@PenelopeAstony]

Another thought popping up is would it be reasonable to ask my partner to not talk to his mother anymore? To have him only see here when I'm not there? what kind of boundaries would YALL set if this happened to you? boundaries with MIL? with partner?

[@deborahfay102]

So right about more funding for schools!

[@kristinaerickson2353]

Parents should reach out for respite care.

[@jennifer.edward]

It's mild here in Canada sent show here please Parents are taking those things to work now or posting online for their kids 😂 If she's doing that now, she's not a true friend

[@SusanGFoxyMama]

you sound just like Anna Kendrick!

[@boneymeroney2674]

❤

[@dougwilson4369]

😂😂😂😂😂

[@nathaliewilborts9869]

I have a bit of feedback (although totally up to you as it is your channel of course). As someone who is neurodivergent, it helps me if I can read along with what you are reading. If you might consider putting up the text on the screen as well, I personally, would very much appreciate it :) Again, just a suggestion ;)

[@draydray96]

Yasss I love your AITA content, perfect for me to listen to while I drive for work ❤😌