AITA For Defending My Husband After My Ex-Husband Abandoned Our Children? r/Relationships

[@seabreezeblank1513]

Their birth father only has them 6 hours a week and he abandoned them because he couldn't wait with them during an emergency what a piece of s***

[@jvangriend560]

Right? Like his limit is 6-hrs and he doesn't want to spend more time with the kids? Talk about red flags for a deadbeat father...

[@morganleanderblake678]

Story 1: I feel like there was a phrase made for this situation. How does it go? Ah yes, "The Lion, the Witch, and the audacity of this b!tch."

[@memeking7273]

How the hell did they spin this entire situation into "OP and her boyfriend are abusive and I can use this situation to make them look bad"

[@caseydemmings6666]

Some of those redditor are dumb

[@CensorshipVictim]

It's called drugs

[@averycheesypotato]

Badly, that’s how

[@johnbradbury8610]

OP luke has been a star through this, so why are you asking AITA for defending him.

[@AzraelThanatos]

@Nyanx4 I'd assume it was the thing of claiming that they weren't there to receive the kids there while not mentioning that they left them there.

[@kanelovec4315]

Love how Sophie is calling op abusive for "abandoning" the kids. When she won't even allow the kids the stay the night, have father have custody, and would rather have the kids go into foster care (aka have the father loose all rights). Sophie doesn't like sharing her man with two kids and trying to make him ditch them.

[@sgm8265]

Right. Good grief If they didn't want to deal with the kids they could have just said so and avoided the mess and drama they created. But I guess drama queens gonna drama, or something. Lol.

[@marcusgray2799]

I never understood women like her

[@johnbradbury8610]

OP is the AH for asking AITA after telling this story. She is more concerned with her ex-husband (the guy who takes his kids for 6 hours a week)feelings.

[@johnbradbury8610]

The narrator sees it. I hope this is fake. Op needs to get her priorities straight.

[@kixi8033]

OP: *Explains how ex abandoned her children and doesn't care about them.* So, I'm going to basically get sole custody. Reddit: Let's not get emotional here and deny a father time with his children. It's amazing when people defend a man who left his children alone in a house with no adults. I'm sorry but I don't care if his 6 hours were up, if there are no adults present you keep the children and try to get a hold of OP or her husband to see what's going on. Good grief.

[@audreynothepburn7663]

Or ask a trusted neighbor/friend/family if they can watch them if their court custody order was strict for some reason, or they have an appointment of some kind and can’t reschedule

[@TaterKakez]

Ya, basically anything other than what they did would work.

[@ZombieSazza]

How the absolute FECK do you abandon your kids, then phone them police and claim they’re being abused… when you abandoned them… HUH??? It’s interesting how folk are all too happy to jump down OPs throat and calling her abusive and getting her attacked, and then they’re all super upset for STANDING UP FOR YOURSELF?!? HUH?!?!?

[@riverjbleu]

Imagine only having your children for 6hrs a week but accusing someone who was late one time because of a car incident of abandoning them.

[@DivaViews]

I am HERE for Markee's unhinged Era! Every maniacal laugh, every rant, every blooper!

[@MelissaBlue]

S1: Oh my goodness, the update about having TWO golf obsessives is just the sweetest thing. Golf makes so much sense for something Max would enjoy and I'm glad he bonded with his stepdad!

[@bec1482]

Honestly I feel so angry for OP, classic case of damned if you do and damned if you don't. Those people who branded her a drama queen and an asshole simply for clearing her and her husbands names are just assholes. Those were some pretty serious and damaging accusations that could have really negative effects on OPs life. How is someone an asshole/drama queen for wanting to clear their name, wtf kind of logic is that, those people are idiots.... I hope they never end up in OPs shoes and have someone falsely accuse them.

[@sandeesandwich2180]

S2: Her brother should just get a photograph of a parrot, since it seems he just wanted a pretty decoration in his house.

[@maurer3d]

Story 2: NTA, I got to the "didn't buy her toys" part an immediately knew your brother is a complete AH. Parrots, just like dogs and cats (and a bunch of other animals, need toys, love, and socialization. I would hate to know what he was feeding the bird if he thought spending a few dollars on toys was a waste of money. Story 2 (update): What a relief to know the bird is out of the abusive home. I hope your brother never gets another pet.

[@Mario-SunshineGalaxy64]

Crazy and stupid people are gonna be crazy and stupid. It’s a blessing in disguise that Dan and Sophie pulled this stunt, now OP and her family wouldn’t have to deal with such trifling people.

[@Deedoof]

Story 2: I have been a parent to a large parrot and other small birds so I speak from experience; NEVER get a parrot unless you can spend 8+ hours a day with them for 40+ years. Even budgies can live to 15 years and need toys, interaction and stimulation. Birds are like dogs and they will be aggressive and destructive and it's the owner's fault for that. I'm happy the brother gave his parrot to a better person.

[@sylphsarigo1996]

This is why I like keeping birds in pairs(or more). They still want and enjoy my attention but they don't require anywhere near as much. I can't imagine spending 8 hours a day with my birds and still having time to make enough money to support them.

[@viffff]

​@sylphsarigo1996 ?

[@user-kl8lo6rj5i]

It's true. And every species has its own special requirements too. You may be able to handle a giant Macaw just fine and then have and Eclectus make you insane.

[@nerdygeekgamer5528]

I owned BIRDS two Conures and I always had bird toys in their cage and they always got attention the brother should have done research on the bird before buying her

[@star3catcherSEQUEL]

Some people seem to think that fathers deserve all of the rights to their children no matter what, but none of the responsibilities. i.e., Everyone jumping on OP's ass about how she's being mean to her ex even after knowing the full truth of the situation, including that one Reddit commentor.

[@Nevertoleave]

Yup. It’s always, “you’re a woman so you’re over reacting.” Same people who want rapists to have rights if their assault results in a kid

[@catpoke9557]

@@Nevertoleave EWWWW there are people who want that?!!

[@owl7072]

Story 1: "Why are you staying with someone who abandons children" Are they not questioning the fact that the children's biological father and stepmom are trying to get them tossed into foster care because they themselves don’t want them? This is deliberate ignorance on everyone's part except Op and her husband. Like, how are you gonna accuse someone of abandoning children while ignoring the one _actively trying to get them taken away from the only family they've known and put into foster care?_

[@seabreezeblank1513]

He thinks if they go to state care he won't have to pay child support anymore if OP's husband adopts them he won't have to pay child support anymore, now make the bastard keep paying child support

[@Iflie]

Exactly, I can only imagine this was his goal or his girlfriends. You don't abandon your kids and then quickly call the police about people who are not there to abandon them. A set up.

[@streamerssaymyname]

Sophie has motive in not wanting the kids around at all anymore - it could be possible he doesn't owe child support because he is unemployed and living off his girlfriend

[@samalvarez8776]

Actually if they go to state care you still have to pay child support. The money goes to the state.

[@tazhienunurbusinezz1703]

​@@samalvarez8776well not everyone is smart

[@wmdkitty]

@@streamerssaymyname No, they'll come after you even if you're unemployed. A lot of men try to dodge their responsibilities by deliberately being unemployed. State still comes after them for support payments.

[@TessuDraws]

omg Apollo shout out! He's so cute, the way he says "metal" and "purple"! I can't believe this dude got a pet without doing research... Abolish pet stores that sell animals NOW!

[@sabrinasugar2819]

I'm so glad Markee knows about Apollo. That birb brings me so much joy and I wasn't expecting the impression. 🤣 I love African Greys but I know I can't give them the love and attention they deserve, so I won't ever do that to them or any other animal. They are so dependent on you. You are their world. Thank goodness for OP!

[@jacksparrowismydaddy]

Sophie sounds like the person that put Hansel and Gretel in the fucking woods.

[@avalineriley6809]

Sophie had the kids, Sophie dropped the kids off, Sophie left the kids alone ........ Sophie then says OP abandoned the kids. The mental gymnastics are baffling.

[@jessicarichards6796]

Story 2, I have an African grey. He is smart, active and playful. I can’t imagine him having no stimulation in his cage, it would drive an African grey insane. They would become depressed. The bird will eventually resort to feather plucking or toe chewing. My grey has toys, out of cage time, television and music, games, and even gets to video chat with my dad and during the week my husband gets to video chat him at lunch. Its like locking a toddler in a room without anything to do, no one to talk to, or play with.

[@TheBre1491]

I believe the bird you are talking about is Apollo. 😂 all animals need stimulation. But yeah those birds are a lot of work and time. Glad OP got the bird.

[@PowerStruggle555]

any father would love more time with the kids. any sane person wouldve called op and said "hey. your husband isnt home yet. do I have permission to enter the house with the spare key to watch them or if not take them somewhere nearby till her gets home?"

[@maurer3d]

Story 1: NTA, your husband who was supposed to be home to receive the kids had an automotive emergency. If your ex was so uncomfortable waiting in your house for him, you, or another adult to arrive, he should have taken the kids to the park, or done something else fun with them. The fact that your ex, is such a lazy father that having the kids more than 6 hours is to much for him is horrible, a good father with so little custody would love having the extra time.

[@catherinecox573]

Markee saying "metal" like the tiktok parrot was too funny lol

[@tophunter4865]

Made my day

[@ThePaintedFerret]

Shrock

[@daorignaldumbucket]

That's Apollo the parrot!

[@audreynothepburn7663]

@@daorignaldumbucketI love him and Kiwi who says “Goodness, what happened?” And “Mwwwaahh” when giving kisses 🥰

[@rainbowjulia]

I have ornithophobia (fear of birds) yet i would 100% die for Apollo

[@tartlynerdy]

Story 1 - 168 hours per week and op's ex only spends like 0.04% of that time with his kids. Those kids aren't going to notice the absence of their deadbeat dad when he's barely putting in the minimum effort. The kids don't deserve this. 🤦 NTA. I'm so happy that op cut this tumor out of the kids' lives. People must be really broken to believe these kids deserve a dad that would rather fight for his crazy girlfriend vs fighting to be in their lives. Story 2 - NTA. This guy would have been better off with a pet rock. I would have bought him a pet rock or one those very realistic dog toys they give to dementia patients. poor birdie. Birds are very intelligent. They understand which person here actually cares more about them and which human they shouldn't trust. He did the right thing letting op keep the bird.

[@TheDarwinProject1]

Story 1: as a 9 yr old (undiagnosed) autistic I had low needs, so I would have been fine just going back to my room to play, but would have been ill equipped to handle a younger sibling or if we had been dropped off without dinner. I can't imagine a high needs autistic being able to manage by themselves, let alone with a younger sibling. The police arriving would have scared me most of all, so I hope they sent someone who knows how to communicate with autistic kids. I'm really glad that bad bio dad was taken out of caretaking for these kids!

[@Early666]

Are we just going to overlook Sophie threating OP's car the same day OP's husband's car broke down in an area without cell reception?

[@sylphsarigo1996]

Listening to this while hanging out with my two amazon parrots. The ending of that parrot story made me so happy, and good on the owner for giving his bird up. A friend of mines neighbor had an African grey for 20+ years, kept in a tiny cage with no toys and never let out. My friend tried to educate the owner, and when that failed she practically begged him to let her buy the bird from him, but he was having none of it. The bird passed away without ever getting to experience a decent quality of life. So yeah, it was awful of that guy to never give his bird toys, but at least he listen when informed, and let his bird go to a better home.

[@MisterNightfish]

This is just a play by OP's ex. That's how they are trying to get the kids taken away from OP but they are so stupid about it that it seems incomprehensible.

[@Tatkitten]

Story 1: regardless of whether the bio dad feels comfortable or no being in his exs house, if they weren’t home to receive the kids he could have taken them to a park or something. The fact that he and his girlfriend treated these kids the same why i would treat a part time job (in the sense when my day is finish, it’s finished) tells me there’s a really good reason he only gets six hours. I hope as well that op gets bio dad cut out of their lives. Some people need to understand that it’s not always a good thing to keep a bad parent in the child’s life.

[@betheguy_posts]

Well well well, isn't that just the pot calling the kettle a child abandoner...

[@everlasting9292]

YEAAAHHH APOLLO!! I was literally thinking about Apollo when Markee talked about the poor bird not having toys. I was like “NOOO!!! Such a smart bird! Poor baby must be losing her mind!”

[@LisaApril]

I think this woman is making a mistake. She should not let the grandparents see the children. They will have grandparents rights after that. I personally would not want anybody to have any legal power over me such as those grandparents.

[@AnneOfKleeves]

Hi Markee! Just wanted to say thank you for another intriguing upload and also that I love the seasonal background!

[@jakeand9020]

Parrots are WAY too intelligent to exist without stimulation.

[@bridgetbenson6291]

I have cats. And even though they are ahs who refuse to play with anything but a cardboard box or a plastic bag, I still buy them toys.

[@katiecakesl4691]

Parots are insanely intelligent creatures. Any pet should have toys and stimulation. People shouldnt have pets if they cant care for them.

[@renaeodonnell4558]

Story 1. I want an update after she’s Sophie is arrested.

[@fangybyte]

Story 2: Brother is neglecting the parrot. It had absolutely no stimulation or enrichment.

[@denises3630]

I can definitely see how Unhinged Sophie is and it wouldnt shock anyone if she did catch some charges 😂 And i also had to google what an African grey was before realizing its a parrot haha

[@autumn557]

Dude, I have two birds. Green cheek conures, and I can’t imagine keeping them in a toy less cage 24/7 let alone expecting them to also like ME after that. I mean hell, I spent 2 weeks just getting my new one to get used to my hand with patience. I can’t even imagine owning a an intelligent bird and assuming their stupid enough to be happy in a cage.

[@VFKAdventureRabbit]

Love African Gray videos(my longtime favorites are one that sings the Spongebob theme and one that dials an imaginary phone number and has a one-sided conversation with himself). Glad such a clever creature is going to a better home.

[@Metal_Mouth]

Story 2: "Apollo, what's the brother full of?" Apollo: "Bullshit!"

[@allygatorrampage]

Was hoping you’d have bloopers just of you mimicking Apollo the African grey for like three minutes but I guess this will do

[@Riftdancer527]

I didn't even get through most of Story 1 when I realized "it's too late into the day and I'm not drunk enough to sit through this" to dredge myself through mental gymnastics

[@hyzenthlayrose2176]

I love Markee's parrot voice lmao I was so relieved the OP of that story got to keep that poor bird.

[@chezshirecat1872]

A doctor I used to work for had a few exotic birds and would leave the television on for them during the day. She was particular about the program and only wanted smart programming for them.

[@ondank]

Story 1: ACAB but I do love the police being like "Erm, thats a child who you have some level of legal custody over, you abandoned them ya dumbie"

[@justabunneh6490]

LOL YES A shoutout to my boy Apollo! "Metal. Paper. " That birb is amazing

[@ebagentj]

Story 2: Thanks for your commentary on that. I was outraged on behalf of the poor bird. My dad has an African Grey named Bob, and he owned from cockatiels and such before getting him. When either my dad, his wife, or both are at home, they don't even really keep him in his cage. He has toys in his cage and around the house, he interacts with their dogs and now their cats (who have never harmed him), he watches TV, he perches on their shoulders for pets, etc. Bob is a very happy bird because he has a lot of enrichment and company. And yes, he's a talker, and even has favorite shows he asks for when they turn the TV on.

[@donnamichelerichey2878]

I can't imagine having wings but not being able to use

[@mbyerly9680]

People in the wrong ALMOST ALWAYS redirect their own guilt on others. The ex and his wife dumped two small kids in an empty house and called the police thinking the second husband would be blamed for what they did. Now, they are redirecting the anger for what they did to the second husband. Very classic and stupid. Give the brother a stuffed gray parrot and keep the live bird. He won't notice the difference.

[@scottluther6699]

St 1: not sure how your car breaking down, out of cell range except emergency services which he used and had police go to his home is abandonment. However, dropping the kids off and leaving WITHOUT a parental/guardian on hand is. I would get his t hours revoked. Sort of seems like he wouldn’t actually care much though. But safer for the kids. And of course tell everyone, it’s about getting ahead of his lies.

[@someoneelse4710]

For story one: the last update had me smiling. Just one good parent is better than having 2 parents where one of them is flaky and unstable, but having bonus adults who love your kids and support them, regardless of blood relations, is awesome. Love that the new husband took efforts to bond with the son and now he has a little golding buddy :)

[@catsncrows]

Markee watching Apollo the gray made my day! "Shrock"

[@agentzapdos4960]

Markee: Get spooky! People: But it's only Septem-- Markee: GET SPOOKY!!!

[@potatoempress5731]

LMAOOOOOO MARKEE your bits about the parrot 🤣

[@adawongkennedy6570]

Story 1: "He's resisted the very strong urge to find Dan and beat him with a golf club". Nooooo, this really triggered The Last of Us 2 memories. I'll never forgive you Abby.

[@wildfyah]

That first story had me perplexed

[@2p-blog-thing]

I loved the reference to the ‘metal!’ Bird. I’m obsessed with that account. I’ve watched soooo many of their videos

[@Ni-boo]

*"I bought them a switch!"* 😂🤣

[@AuroraPaintBrush4444]

Story one. The OP's Ex and the Ex's partner are ridiculous. Change the script slightly, if they were babysitters/teachers or other chils care employees; if the guardian doesn't come to pick up the kids on time, there's appropriate options. 1) stay extra time and get overtime pay. 2) call the parents/guardians until contact is made. 3) call Police/child services and WAIT with the child until you can properly hand off the child. The Ex is stupid/lazy or wants to destroy OP's life.

[@leaflet1686]

Story 2: This is horrible... I have a 15 year odl cat or something! He has free range to everything in my apartment, I leave my balcony door open for him, all day (I live in the upper floor so it's fine), I taught him tricks and I empty out his toys everytime I leave for longer, liek work. I love my cat and he loves my attention, even sleeps with me in my bed.

[@JenniSeven7]

Excellent Apollo impression, Markee!

[@SardonicJackrabbit]

Story 2; I own many parrots and work with more, if the guy acts like that its definitely more than the toys that make the bird hate him! Can't have that attitude AND be respectful! And it is plain abuse not to have toys available for ANY bird, much less an AG.

[@platinumaether8198]

18:35 AYO what the hell that’s a good parrot impression

[@NCAnon]

Story 2: thanks Markee, now I have to find that parrot video

[@kacielawrence]

I love the Spooky Season backgrounds Markee!!

[@judithjeffers7666]

There is a phenomenon that for what ever reason a parrot can fall “in love” with a person other than its owner. This is called “Thunderstruck”. It occurs immediately upon seeing the other person.

[@NotAFanOfHandles]

Yaaaaass. Let us hear that maniacal cackle. We are so here for it. 🤩

[@o0BlackSand0o]

Story 2: when I was a pre-teen to teen my neighbours had 2 African parrots. They sat outside a lot enjoying the Aussie weather and... they got complaints. Not from my family who had the youngest kids and were closest, but other familie. These two would argue with each other, yell insults at people on the streets ranging from 'your fat' to 'what the f is that'. They also constantly told each other to f off, that they were bast**ds, even said choke on a bone. The best moment was when a kid was running up the street and fell and these two parrots cracked up for 5 minutes

[@GoCoyote]

Parrots are just like other animals and people in having some people (and other animals/parrots) that they like or dislike. They are very social creatures who enjoy and need attention and interaction, and providing toys is part of interacting with them. I always brought home fresh branches of fruitwood to my parrot, and she loved playing with/chewing them to bits. She always got excited watching me walk in with a fresh branch. She would also adore some people and shower them with far more love than me. She could also get jealous of me showing affection to others. This is normal animal behavior, and not something the brother should get upset about.

[@PowerStruggle555]

6 hours a week? there has to be more to prior. usually a parent (usually the father) gets the weekends. even the worst do (unless it supervised visits which short time makes sense) so 6 hours a week that isnt supervised. either he works too much and doesnt have room. so he sees them 6 hours a week to spend time or he is such a low life the court didnt see he was capable to have them overnight.

[@zashgekido5616]

I think OP mentioned it was an informal agreement

[@sfsin3380]

Came up in comments on the update. It informal and what Dan wanted because he can't claims he handle the autistic kid for longer that why he wanted the kids to go into care because he was never going to take them. He does not want custody of the kids.

[@Mario-SunshineGalaxy64]

Whoa momma, that’s a big pumpkin.

[@candiebarr6745]

Im glad op kept the bird... I hate birds, but you can't keep a living creature locked up in a cage and not give them something to do.

[@jakemarie828]

Excellent parrot impression!! 🦜

[@lusynuplove2965]

My favorite is, "Shrock". 😂

[@sharyebethancourt3660]

S1: He analogy nearly sent me off my bed! 😭😭😭😭

[@linola644]

I think you're thinking about Apollo the bird 😂😂

[@that.ll_do_pig]

You follow Apollo the African Grey! 🥰 "Rooock" 😄

[@Boe-Temeraire]

I think the bird on tiktok you mentioned is called Einstein? I could be confusing it with a different bird though, I sometimes get names mixed up in my head.

[@dianecheney4141]

What police officers think, isn’t the same as what the courts think. The girlfriend Sophie can’t regulate her own emotions. I wonder if there are drugs involved? If she simply chooses to be emotionally explosive, that’s kind of worse

[@Chlober_Official]

Petsmart will tell you to buy the plastic balls for mice and rodents. Those are TERRIBLE for your small pets because they can't see out of the ball and get major anxiety from that, AND their little toes can get caught in the air holes and break without you even knowing.

[@nerdygeekgamer5528]

LUKE didn't plan on having his car braking down on the way home from a golf trip with his brother in law stuff like that HAPPENS sometimes stuff like that can't be HELPED

[@cindykq8086]

Instead of an African grey parrot, the brother should get simething he's capable of caring for: a pet rock.

[@ErisstheGoddessofmanhwas]

I bet taht was their plan .Abandoned the kids and blame Op

[@josepherhardt164]

17:28 Sometimes being an AH is therapeutic--for the target. And, parrots are incredibly intelligent and need stimulation to prevent self-destructive behaviors, like pulling feathers and denuding themselves.

[@vanguardangel6912]

Omg that’s such a perfect impression of Einstein!

[@terramarini6880]

Lord have mercy, that brother is a goof. Toys are never a waste of money, sticks from a tree in the back yard would be better than nothing. I put floaty toys in my turtle tank for her to faff around with, she had a cave, a black slate tile to bask in her sun lamp, all the cuttlebone she wanted and she got free time to "chase" the cat/dog around the house (they move faster than you'd think). I was sad to move her along but she got really big and I could not accommodate a bigger tank, a friend with turtles took her and she now lords it over several other turtles in her backyard pond. I get pictures occasionally and she is in awesome hands. Always put the animal first, always.

[@heatherweir8726]

Last story. I wouldn't trust ops brother with a pet rock.

[@OD1261]

Markee, you made me go look up the Metal African Gray, and I love the little guy!......you jerk! 😋 Also, definitely saving that first story for an update. Although, considering how long the "process" takes, it'll probably be around two years minimum.

[@amemooress6291]

Fuck yes! Markee knows about the african gray Apolo!!

[@sofieg7581]

thx for informing us ahead of time that there ll be "no bloopers", wouldnt want us to expect some quinoa pilaf 😏

[@rinpaisys]

18:25 “shrrrock”

[@aprilfox9205]

Markee, my son watches that African greys vids all the time .. lol 🧡

[@HoneyBakedHamlet]

18:22 Its Apollo!!

[@lina9535]

Story 2: This is why you do research before getting a pet. Even if you've had one before and just plan to get a different breed (example: dogs)

[@MONKEYDZETS]

Who said I don’t think we’re moving to Father 100% from your kids is a good idea. He abandoned them kids and a house and then blamed his wife and on being there when he also knew nobody was there with you people be crazy.