Advice to Women | Ali Siddiq Stand Up Comedy

Public service announcement to all the women out there.
Tour Dates:
April 26: Augusta
April 27: Chattanooga
May 3: Portland
May 4: Sacramento
May 10: Louisville
May 11: Huntsville
May 17: St Louis
May 18: Cincinnati
June 1: Bloomington IN
Tickets: alsiddiq.com
Check out tour dates: www.alisiddiq.com/
Connect on social media!
Instagram: alisiddiq?...
Facebook: / ali.siddiq.92
TikTok: / thealisiddiq
Twitter: / ali_speaks
Ali Siddiq is a stand-up comedian, public speaker, and writer out of Houston. Ali’s unique style of stand-up began behind the walls of incarceration, an incubator for interesting experiences and good stories.
People received their first taste of Ali Siddiq when he appeared on HBO's DEF COMEDY JAM and LIVE FROM GOTHAM, and in 2013 he was named Comedy Central's "#1 Comic to Watch". In 2014, Ali impressed comedy enthusiasts by displaying his ability to captivate an audience with his "Mexicans Got On Boots" tale, descriptive storytelling, with over 15 million views, of a prison riot on THIS IS NOT HAPPENING, the first of three appearances. His stories continued with his HALF HOUR special, which premiered on Comedy Central in the fall of 2016. Immediately following the premiere of that special, Comedy Central offered Ali an hour-special where he performed for inmates live in a Texas jail, sending Ali back to where it all started. The hour special, Ali Siddiq: It’s Bigger Than These Bars, premiered in February 2018 on Comedy Central. In 2019, Ali could be seen as a Top 5 finalist on NBC’s BRING THE FUNNY. Most recently, Ali could be seen as a guest on THE JOE ROGAN EXPERIENCE.

[@AliSiddiqComedy]

THE DOMINO EFFECT PART 3: FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL will be premiering on KZbin on Mothers Day, this Sunday May 12th! kzbin.info/www/bejne/kGGzZHVsYp2FbNk Catch up on Domino Effect 1 & 2 before you watch 3…. DE1: kzbin.info/www/bejne/e6SudYGQhs2JjpI DE2: kzbin.info/www/bejne/pKfSl42Xd81qraM

[@nathanelliott7897]

“Charles, 37, missing”😂😂😂😂💀💀💀

[@IFBBProYeo]

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣👏👏👏👏👏

[@ashleyh6407]

I love him and his stand up, and what he says here is so true. Women are taught from an early age to be polite. If someone is all ready at the point of trying to take you to a separate location STOP BEING POLITE . Fight, scream, throw your stuff at a crowd of people. Scream fire! Don't let yourself taken to a secondary location.

[@lcam9241]

👍🏾👍🏾👍🏾👍🏾👍🏾

[@bklyngirlost]

The slogan I just learned for this the other day is “Be weird. Be rude. Stay alive.”

[@cme4743]

Agreed. I also think the issue can be attributed to the fact that the girls always get this talk, but boys don’t always get the talk about respecting women’s boundaries and free will.

[@kalis.891]

​@@cme4743this here!!

[@noworriesimfijian]

My partner of two years has three girls aged 10,14, 15. They’ve never had a father figure but they can’t understand why I’m over protective to the point where we don’t let them walk to the neighbourhood shop. It’s because today’s world isn’t the same one we grew up in. Trying to teach them to have discipline, self esteem and assertive is absolutely essential in this day and age. Respect Ali for this humorous but common sense approach to something that could very well save their life. God bless from Fiji👍😎🙏🤙🇫🇯

[@markofisaiah1449]

"No YOU get in the truck !" 😆

[@EliteWalkThroughs]

I DIED

[@artuvwar]

yeah that part got me...haha

[@3rdboichad716]

😂😂😂

[@aliengranpa]

Bonus tip Ali, always scream "fire" instead of help. People run to help when there's a fire.

[@BusinessWolf1]

This. This times 1000.

[@PurpleHazePro]

They don’t run away? 😭

[@AK-jt7kh]

I always hear that, but if I hear fire I am running away. I'm not running to help. Who are these lunatics that are like "Fire? I better get in on that"

[@aliengranpa]

@@AK-jt7kh me! If there's a fire you run to help people. There could be children or pets trapped. Who DOESN'T run to help??

[@bensthekey1195]

Aint no way boy 😂 thats dumb , nobody but a fireman Will run towards fire, u Will be missing like a mfa

[@OmgWtfTsuji]

I lost it at "You agile, ain't nobody gonna get you."

[@jharris9108]

I am so glad he chose a life as a comedian cuz he is incredible he's just too funny he can turn any serious situation to something to laugh about while still making you think and be responsible😅

[@ryder1584]

😂 carrying a sleeping child is definitely a intense game of jenga. We love you Ali & thank you for bringing laughter to pain.

[@DoYouRobot]

You agile 😂

[@vene4739]

The delivery of this serious topic is comical, which makes it memorable. Thank you!

[@kylevondoyle]

You’re changing stereotypes , narratives, and opening eyes and hearts on so many levels. The world needs more people like you

[@dtayl303]

Ali is the best in the game right now..point blank...fxckin fight me...

[@francescapowell1538]

I love him .. he absolutely 💯% cracks me up!!

[@rodseay1005]

You get in the trunk No u get in the trunk- Brother Ali U wild boy😂

[@jenniferd.820]

Not you messing with that man like this Ali 🤣🤣🤣. My uncle staged a fake kidnapping with one of his buddies helping him, my little short self used my backpack as a weapon after I bit one of them 😂

[@MsMakeba]

You're his favorite niece, right?! 😂😂😂 "Leave my uncle alooooone!" 😬🎒😄

[@jenniferd.820]

@MsMakeba I am lol but that didn't stop him from catching a few licks 🤣🤣

[@Joybrowne1989]

Tmo😂😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅

[@ciggyfreud]

Oml this is too good 😂 I was also a biter, goddamn kids can be scary 😂😂

[@LtheDetective]

"U get in the truck!" "Naw...U get in the truck!" 😂😂😂

[@TT-kp3cz]

So true, we learned as kids to drop to the ground and start kicking and screaming. We love you Ali for saying something 😘❤️

[@fontainelebrock345]

Ali is a national treasure!! Protect this man!! Also I’m telln my daughter to do what Ali said

[@kishamceady1359]

Do you have a van😂😂😂😂

[@Shawn-ne6ld]

Love my brother. Voice, slang, lingo, storytelling and humor. I could listen to him all day ❤️💯💯💯🇺🇸🇺🇸😛👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

[@disgruntledvet28]

Bruh when you started describing carrying a dead weight child upstairs I laughed soooo hard almost choked on my peanuts 😂😂😂😂

[@treykellybell8583]

In Baltimore, if we ever see a headline about a missing man, he’s usually somewhere dead and they didn’t find the body yet.

[@KemyLynn]

That is why I like the ATL's Papoose. ..Former Husband of Remy Ma....teaching his Baby Girl To Box.

[@essencenicole9731]

I'm so upset that there's no pan to the spooky kidnapper!!😂🤣😂🤣

[@cme4743]

Right!😂😂

[@imadiawara7577]

he really is the best comedian out here. so wholesome and so hilarious

[@GinaJonesStillettoQueen]

Even dogs do this whenever they dont want to go anywhere 😂😂😂😂😂

[@gabriellehanks6850]

I love how he starts off all serious with his jokes and then drops comedic gems sprinkled with life lessons...🤣💖

[@au.ru.]

I never heard of this tip before, mostly how to fight back. I think it's solid, thanks for the heads-up Ali! 💕

[@beatrice81]

Great to wake up with this. Ty

[@MrsNewland318]

Thoughtful PSA!!!!👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾#awesomedad #mygriot

[@monnie1027]

He is sooo funny and always giving awesome advice 😁👍 He is a Awesome comedian!❤ his shows! I was raised to always know your surroundings at all times, and your keys are a weapon when sticking through your fingers. My Dad was x- military, I'm so thankful that he taught me how to stay safe!😊

[@chocolategirl443]

Ali is ALWAYS hilarious 😂

[@bighomieJ5X]

Ali, killing the game right now, 💯👏🏾👏🏾

[@TheLovely990]

" No you get in the truck'😅😅😅😅

[@RealLadi228]

It's like someone jumping in your car unexpectedly and tell you to drive? Yeah sure right into the Walmart wall or the first wall we see or hell oncoming traffic!!!😅

[@siegephoto3175]

This bit is a keeper. Pure gold.

[@prettyblkgyrl74]

But why Ali roasting the kidnapper, sitting in the audience, to his face 🤣🤣🤣 -- you look spooky 🥴🤭 Ali is hands down my favorite comedian 🙌🏾🤎... I've seen him perform live 3 times & I'm looking forward to seeing him live every time he's in my area 😂

[@jaredsandoval1941]

Can not wait for show in North Carolina in the 14th

[@southerngrace1106]

Agility is key! 😂

[@lashawnlott6404]

I am screaming…. I love this man 😂😂😂. Saw him live, he is amazing!

[@Thebestbuywizard]

Love it all praise to allah for this wonderful comedian just a good human trying to make ends meet and bring joy to the poeple

[@allareasindex7984]

Yell FIRE! FIRE! Everybody love to look at a fire.

[@angel_numbers]

I'm excited to see you at the Koger Center 💯🏆✊🏾I just love your voice and stories.

[@WillowRose]

That’s actually good advice❤

[@NBAallstar89]

If that last part was a set up .. that’s crazy as hell 🤣🤣

[@susanmodeste9069]

My Dad taught me similar. Draw attention!!

[@ctsmith9527]

💪🏾Gitcho gotdamn hands off me😂😂😂

[@MsMakeba]

"Getcho gahhhdayyum hands off me!!" "You agile - ain't nobody gon getchu." 😂😅😂 #comedywriter #StandUpComedian #casuallyhilarious #parentingtips #comedyspecial #youtube #comedyclips

[@christinajackson646]

He is the best!!!🤣🤣🤣👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽

[@cookiecookie8829]

You will not kidnap me without a fight!!! I will definitely make a big scene!!!

[@chrishensley010]

😂😂😂 37yo Charles

[@charnicecharles1080]

My secret weapon against abduction is boneless 💀 (I didn’t make this up, I think it’s a quote from a movie). Thanks Ali, for sharing this tactic with other women. Stay safe ladies!

[@ElleC2016]

Wait cross arms? We kickin faces 😂

[@DaBro1102]

Ali needs to be on Club Shay Shay

[@MEME-pj6if]

Please come to Richmond Virginia Funny Bone

[@804WUWG]

Richmond in the comments yuh

[@nekneversleep]

Very thoughtful! Thank you for this PSA

[@joezed1316]

OMG one of his best!

[@yoli8596]

Ali you are by far the funniest comedian 💯💯💯💯💕💕💕💕

[@fazormcghee7936]

If a dude is doing anything to you, scream at the top of your lungs. A womans scream is a bat signal for all humanity. You hear a man scream everyones immediate thought is "what the fuck was that?" But if anybody hears a woman scream, everybody knows exactly what that was, is immediately alert and the police will be called if we cant figure out what caused it. My roomate screams at the sight of bugs and one day I had to sit her down and explain to her that she can't just be screaming like that for no reason because that shit triggers a sense of danger.

[@lilone030493]

Didn’t Ali said that he got trucked before?? 😂🤨

[@alleyas]

".. cuz on the day of judgement, I don't wanna be asked about "what did you say" and i said nothing" spoken like a true muslim👍🙏

[@valaneicethompson2907]

I think I'm officially gonna be a stalker. I BEEN A FAN FROM DAY 1. I'm crying

[@Jon-pj7pu]

😂😂😂 good catch chair almost hit that mofo lol

[@MEME-pj6if]

Good Morning. Thank for the funny

[@gleesh9023]

Ali.. you were kidnapped!!. As a man we just don’t report it😂

[@nativechique7589]

He was duct taped n put in a trunk i remmeber that one

[@TonyaJones0788]

Ali is a mess, extremely funny! You don’t need to cuss, you are naturally funny!🙌🏽🎊🥳🧁🌸

[@SamBassComedy]

Any guy that's missing, is only missing because he missing payments.

[@LatinX766]

Lol

[@TheSmilingFury]

Facts

[@autumnchisem6901]

Or because he's the kidnapper...

[@Alanah12Lyric18]

😂😂😂😂FACTS

[@jeffreypinder9398]

Too funny.

[@pattonmoore]

Ali you're slightly wrong about men going missing. Out here in the wilderness some dude don't make it home all the time. Sometimes his old lady's boyfriend and him had a hunting accident...

[@Deem_The1]

😂😂😂 Women yall get kidnapped which I don't know how but yall still getting kidnapped 😂😂😂😂 Ali is the GOAT

[@coolocelot]

I actually did drop with my whole bodyweight to the floor to break the grip of an attacker but he was a marine and strong enough to pull me up, pin me in a corner and say it was happening whether I fight him or enjoy it. Grappling and self defense is a start but women need weapons in this world.

[@sherrionwilliams8820]

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 I Love it ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

[@Norma1250]

I DON'T WANNA LOOK 😂😂😂

[@notfunnybutfunny7333]

oh i cant breathe. but thanks for the advice

[@ConspirHerSee]

Dead weight is something I never thought of.😂

[@sentekiwanuka8968]

2:02-2:25!🤣

[@Trust.The.Process.]

Blink blink blink ma'am hahaha

[@Auraseven415]

Good advice👍 Where is Charles?🤣😂

[@user-zr8gk5ui2d]

You funny 🤣🤣❤

[@petebarr780]

He is a comedian you take your girl to go see on date night. Get her some drinks and food and you might be on to something 😂

[@user-om2zf1co8g]

I love your comedy but sometimes I can't always listen because of some of the expletives I love the most HIGH so its a little uncomfortable BUT YOU ARE GREAT😂

[@KailaniASMR]

I promise you The Most High does NOT care about the language…Respectfully ❤….the way you have been trained causes YOU to care…and YOU are a part of the Most High ❤

[@andrell_cool_dre]

You better believe if a man is “missing” he’s either hiding or not alive

[@BEAUTYFUL18]

DONT THINK NOBODY WANT TO ABDUCT ME. I FIGHT. AS A GIRL ALL I FOUGHT WAS BOYS. AS A ADULT I DONT HIT OR FIGHT MEN FOR THE HELL OF OT. BUT IF YOU PUT YOUR HANDS ON ME OR ACT LIKE IT. TRUST ME IM FIGHTING. DONT CARE HOW BIG YOU ARE NON OF THAT. ASK ME WHY AS A LITTLE GIRL I HAD A ABUSIVE DADDY THAT WAS 2 TIMES BIGGER THAN ME. AND HE WAS ABUSIVE TO ME AND EVERY WOMEN HE BEEN WITH . SO THAT MADE ME IN TO THIS. ANYBODY I DATED INCLUDING MY HUSBAND. LET KNOW FROM BEGINNING . DONT ATTEMPT😂💪🏿. BECUASE I WILL TURN IN TO THE HUMAN FORM OF SATAN😂. AND HAVE TO PRAY ABOUT IT LATER.

[@rhondahopkins4366]

We be still missing because of our golden box

[@ZLM88]

As funny as this is 🤣 it's actually good advice 👍🏾

[@erronblack2937]

There was a man missing in Detroit one time.. i told my lady if I'm missing dont even coming looking because ist over... needless to say he turned up

[@mikerobinson9627]

😂 👏🏼👏🏼

[@fern10011]

We women also need self-defense training. I assume most abductions don't take place in public, so screaming won't necessarily help. We need to be careful outside and avoid isolated places, unless we are fully prepared for a surprise attack.

[@redridinghood1980]

..omg😌😆

[@redridinghood1980]

..wn u catch a heart from Ali: 🤔💭🙂‍↔️🥴😍🥰😌😁😆

[@hakimwiggins5735]

Charles ,37 missing lol

[@gond9166]

❤😂❤

[@sentekiwanuka8968]

True story…a woman in My home town of San Diego was abducted from A Vons Grocery store…in Broad Daylight…no less and No One helped her!

[@tgrice601]

Where is the link to go watch 3 & 4

[@AliSiddiqComedy]

www.moment.co/alisiddiq

[@tgrice601]

@@AliSiddiqComedy i just watched 3 maybe I shouldn’t have watched it while IN the hospital cause i just told this nurse who wants to do EVERYTHING by the BOOK “YOU OLE BOOK(FILE) READING AS BITCH” 😂😂😂and rolled over this particular nurse been working my nerves all morning!! But even if they kick me out the hospital THANK YOU for helping me pass this time and making my stay a lil better

[@jasmainjasmain2906]

Lol!!! Funny but funny story… my aunt was kidnaped as a teen and while going down a street she risked and reached over to hit the gas pedal so and a cop pulled them over. Do something! Lbvs

[@robsoultrain1061]

😂😂😂

[@zoloharris4305]

😂😂😂bruh y!😂

[@user-ml4eb6ib6d]

👑🦁🤦🏽‍♀️😊🥰

[@kingofthebes]

MIA...Missing In America...😮

[@ASleepingSwampert]

I think the whole, getting drinks paid for mechanic has something to do with it personally but I dont have any data.

[@nanette52nc]

1,000 views and only 181 Likes so far.....this man is hilarious run those Likes up ppl

[@nanisatinrose7772]

😂😂😂😂