autism, covid & mental health 🦠⎥

[@LogoFreak93]

What marginal social skills I had pre-COVID have deteriorated and I've in many ways reverted to who I was before age 8. I no longer even care if I adequately control my saliva and my shirts are soaked with drool nowadays. I have attempted to avoid thinking about the pandemic itself but unfortunately the 24/7 news cycle has left me absolutely terrified of the virus. Something I saw set in a bad future where the pandemic never ends showing crumbling cities, fading power grids, an aging population confined to their homes, and no hope for the future terrified me to the bone. I'm an extrovert and I love walking up to people and saying hi, talking to them, and meeting new people (and I imagine much worse now after a year and a half of being stuck inside my home). I miss having a chance to try to make new friends. Watching the news these days always makes me want to cry. I feel so sad and overwhelmed.

[@jazzypanduh]

Love the frames. Totally relate to struggling with the change in routine, dwindling social skills, and avoiding social media. I think what the pandemic taught me is we can’t really predict anything and we will always need to adapt to changes. I also started a channel to have some sort of routine and it has helped me so much.

[@neurodivergentme]

Thank you! The pandemic has definitely forced adaptation. I'm still working on creating routine & structure with my channel but regardless, it's been an amazing outlet during this time.

[@average_amanda3884]

Hey man, I can relate to so much of this! (I have ADHD and Autism too:) I was laid off from my job at the beginning of the pandemic, and for the first few months, at least until the fall came, it was kind of nice. I didn't have to deal with people anymore at a socially draining retail job and I could live out my fantasy life as a full-time house cat! My mental health was in a really bad state when it all happened, so it felt good to be able to hide in my cave for a while.. but eventually, the lack of structure really caught up with me. I don't miss my job but I DO really miss having some sort of structure in my life. Having a job prompts me to do all the things and without having something holding me accountable, it's so hard to get motivated. I've tried to make routines, but I haven't really been able to stick to anything consistently. And yup, all the social skills I sort of had before, they're pretty much gone and I feel like 12-year-old version of myself when I go out in public now lol. I did my hair and makeup today for the first time in ages and was like woaaaah, am I a person?! I've gotten so used to living as a cave troll, I have forgotten what it's like to "get ready" lol. It's been a tough year for me, but the one positive thing that's come out of it is that I'm going to school this fall! I'm 37 and dropped out of high school and have been too afraid to go to school since then. I was able to get tested for learning disabilities over the past year, so figuring out what I needed help with (and my super supportive husband!) gave me the courage to finally apply for school! I start next week and can't wait! (Also, Structure to my life again at last!)

[@neurodivergentme]

I actually laughed out loud when I read "live out my fantasy as a full-time house cat" because that's my life goal. Also, cave troll haha! Congratulations on going back to school! I've had to work through a ton of insecurities that stems from being undiagnosed in a public school and failing miserably over and over. I love learning SO much but never received the support that I needed and truly believed I was just stupid. Going back to school took a ton of courage but it was one of the best things I ever did for myself. You'll do great!

[@veronicav575]

I’m so glad I got off Facebook last year. Gave me so much anxiety.

[@neurodivergentme]

Good for you. It's an incredibly toxic place.

[@TheNessa284]

Thankfully my job was still the same. But new routines are tough. I'm trying to force myself to doing different things in life. Love the channel. 😊

[@lugaruna]

Covid didn't realy have alot of influance with my work because i had a production job. I also kinda had to go because cooling machines are kinda essential, not just for food and flowers:). I kinda loved the first few month's because public transport was so empty. I had alot of private bus rides:p. Also im not saying covid is a good thing but those first month's felt like heaven while traveling. Things i did realy stress about was if i could keep seeying my fiance (we haven't found a house yet). If we can't see eachother atleast in the weekends we both go crazy. At the start of covid we already knew he had add an autism. He has known all his life but my journey started half a year in. I was going to talk to someone for the i don't even know the amount of times i talked to her (psychologyst). She mentioned if i ever thought i might have adhd and helped me get tested. I scored almost perfectly on all the points of the test:p. After that i started resesrching autism in woman because she thought i might have it. Unfortunatly the two questionares came back with not enough results. It didn't sit right with me so i kept on going, durring that time i was a mental and emotional mess. Next to my mental issues i was dealing with a job that was gonna stop because the company wanted to move and fire us all. At this point im doing pretty good. I have a new job wich will probably be for a longer period of time. Three weeks ago i finaly got diagnosed with autism and the only thing i kinda missed when they told me was confetti and a glass of bubble wine alcoholic/non alcoholic:p. So much stress, worry and self doubt has fallen from my shoulders and it feels as if i can finaly live and be myself:). I still have a long way to go but im finaly on the right road. I found partial manuals that can help with my adhd, dyslexia and now autism:).

[@jazzypanduh]

Would you mind sharing those manuals?

[@lugaruna]

Ow sorry i forgot to specify they are basicly mental figurativly speaking manuals :|. My mistake i should have specified it a bit better. What i ment was things that i learned along the way durring 28-29 years of my life not knowing i have adhd and that im autistic:). I do have a few things like mini podcast series that helped because they learn life skills like the idea of a mind palace. The first step or start of a mind palace is when you forget what you needed retrace your steps. If you mentaly forget something then retrace your thought's. It's like mentaly retracing your steps and alot of the time i will remember what i was thinking about:). The podcast serie is called crush it like cleopatra and i know it's on audible but im not sure about other places. Another interesting audiobook is: think like a roman emperor - the stoic philosopy of marcus aurelius. I also found a podcast on spotify called the perfect stool and it's an interesting one because of my ibs but also because i learned that alot of autistic people have things like ibs:). Sorry to disapoint you with the manual bit but i hope these information point's can help:).

[@lugaruna]

Okay basicly what i ment with my manual coment in my first post was that the things i found out durring my 29 years that work are like finding pages to your own personal manual. The how to live specificly your life manual:). If there was a physical manual on existence i would have copied it and spread it like a wild fire:).

[@neurodivergentme]

Congratulations on your diagnosis lugaruna! I know that is something you have been working towards and I'm happy to see that you have received the validation you deserve. 💕🥰

[@Catlily5]

I have Autism and ADHD also. I had a hard time with the Covid shutdown because of the lack of external routines. The ADHD part of me rebels against routine and doesn't want to set a routine up, but the Autistic side does better with routine. My baseline anxiety got really high because my boyfriend has a compromised immune system. Since both of us are now vaccinated that helps my anxiety levels.

[@neurodivergentme]

YES! My autistic brain craves routine and my ADHD fights it so hard. It's a difficult thing to balance. My anxiety has somewhat lessened after getting vaccinated but my son is still too young to get it so that leaves me on edge a bit.

[@Catlily5]

@@neurodivergentme Yes, that is hard with young children.

[@Jc57088]

Newly diagnosed at middle age. I can relate to most of what you are going through. I don’t need a detailed routine. But having a few solid points through the day really helps with structure and purpose. I have never stimmed much with body movement unconsciously, but find it very rewarding to purposely do it in private. Social skills have dipped from covid also. Congrats on new one on the way! Love your videos!

[@neurodivergentme]

Thank you for sharing! Intentionally stimming can feel really nice. 🥰

[@beepbopboop3221]

Ditto on Facebook but I used to find social events there so it is isolating too.

[@shadowfox933]

While I understand the value of having vaccines, having a vaccine *mandate* is crossing a line to me, especially when those producing said vaccines have been granted legal immunity from anything that occurs surrounding them. I keep up to date on my own shots, but I can reasonably conclude, based on research from several countries (most notably Israel's study of over 800k people), that i should not have to get the vaccine since I have already contracted and fought off covid. I personally believe it should be the decision of the individual to have any type of medical procedure done, from immunizations to surgeries. All minor ranting aside, I do identify with a lot of the points made in this video, especially about the loss of routines. It's been pretty rough for me trying to keep a good schedule going over the course of all of this, but having my current job has helped

[@mathieuleader8601]

nice candles and graphics in the thumbnail

[@neurodivergentme]

Thank you! 💕

[@aliciawassong6201]

I love your Videos🥰

[@neurodivergentme]

Thanks friend! 💕

[@veronicav575]

Maybe you have covered this before, and I missed it- but what are your stims?

[@neurodivergentme]

I have many stims but my most consistent ones are stretching, throat clearing, biting my cheeks & cuticles, walking on my toes, general fidgeting. I haven't made a video yet but it's on my list for hopefully later this month.

[@photokimasl]

Hello, my name is Kimmie. I'm new to your channel. The one thing that is super hard for me is seeing people wear masks heightens my anxiety big time. I CANNOT wear a mask. I cannot even have a bed sheet over my face for more than 5 minutes. Real talk: do masks effect your anxiety?