Autistic struggles with friendship

I know I haven't posted long form content in a hot minute. I am sorry. I have been burnt out from socializing lol. I wanted to open up about my friendship struggles because i know i cant be the only one. I am taking friendship applications. I am looking for someone that wants to be my best friends but only wants to chat/ hang out once or twice a week.
TIME STAMPS
00:00 - 00:48 Introduction
00:49 - 02:01 Progressing a friendship
02:02 - 02:45 Being left out
02:46 - 03:48 Having a best friend
03:49 - 04:31 Female friendships
04:32 - 07:10 Being manipulated in friendships
07:11 - 08:01 What is real friendship
08:02 - 09:48 Constantly changing myself
09:49 - 10:41 Meeting new people
10:42 - 12:10 Socialization hanover
12:11 - 13:31 Outtro
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ABOUT ME
Hello, for those of you that dont know me my name is Morgan. I am a 22 year old late diagnosed autistic ADHDer from Massachusetts. I am sharing my life on social media in an effort to advocate for autism awareness and break down the stigma surrounding autism and ADHD. I mostly talk about neurodivergent stuff but I also make lifestyle and travel content.

[@marekceglowski6574]

One thing that I notice is that I tend to feel more comfortable in groups where I am somehow markedly different from everyone. For example, being around people much older than me or much younger than me. Or being around people from a different culture. I think the reason for this is because it's already obvious that I am different, so any "strange" behavior is just associated to that. But when I am around people "like me", then I feel uncomfortable and left out because it feels like there is an expectation for me to think and behave like everyone in the group. If I do anything out of the ordinary, then it's much more noticeable and looked at as strange. I'm learning to feel more okay with feeling like an outsider everywhere I go and trying to acknowledge and remind myself that it actually has some benefit for me. I'd rather be welcomed in as a outsider than welcomed in as "one of the group" and then have to live up to the standards of behaving like everyone else in the group.

[@calebivey1776]

Your last sentence is definitely an uncommon perspective and is pretty legit.

[@belorama8]

I have definitely experienced this and gravitated towards it! I'm kind of notorious in my family for having friends who are decades, older or younger than me. I was one of two white kids who attended my high school and I had such a positive experience with my classmates in comparison to previous schools that were less diverse. Nobody was being covert and passive aggressive because I was "weird". I got teased for my nerdy white girl's interests a bit, but It wasn't mean, and that kind of lite teasing was pretty universal in that school. I never felt actually judged or like I was missing something. I'm a woman who works in a male dominated group setting and it is so much easier for me in some ways than a female dominated setting. This is *not* a pick me thing. I *swear* *to* *God* . I don't care about male attention. Women just tend to expect things from me socially that I don't know about or have a hard time with. Men just tend to assume that I'm different because I'm a woman.

[@nonamelegend_vapor]

I feel this so much, and this is kinda what makes me leery about engaging with irl and/or online autistic communities, fair or not, especially those centered around a common interest. Just because we're all autistic doesn't mean we are all reflexively understanding and charitable towards one another, or that there wouldn't be an element of groupthink. Perhaps the fact that we all have autism in common would create expectations Edited because I left out the word "online"lol

[@nonamelegend_vapor]

​@@calebivey1776for real though! Me personally, I think this is why I lurk in and sniff around so many groups/communities but rarely immerse myself in the actual "community" aspect

[@user95395]

yes, it is easier to get along with people i'm not competing with as much too. It seems that's what it comes down to, 5:41 the more you are around people that are stereotypically "like you" the more social pressure and competition is there. When i do smth weird, people non in my in group can just say "oh that must be how white people are." lol it's like i experience more prejudice from straight white men than anyone else, when that should be the group I vibe with the most.

[@TheWaldHaven.]

" my mum says she thinks you are a lovely person and keep shinning your light. The world needs more people like you. " from my Mother

[@user-gs8sv1sd3y]

You’re a sweetie pie. Your honestly will help many other people. You are so insightful. You would be a wonderful teacher or counselor for Autistic youth. My niece has Autism and she struggles and your struggles are so similar. Thank you. Good luck. You deserve it all.

[@xerezcamila]

That's so nice!!

[@charlottekingsbury-fink]

I just cried through this video😭😭😭I'm 45 with zero friends, and have a history of having only bullies as friends too. My new therapist is going to try and connect me with an autistic community. Thank you for making these videos- they make me not feel so alone! ❤❤❤

[@MDWLRK7]

I’m 38. I feel you! ❤ We can find each other in the comments in every video and I’ll be your KZbin friend!

[@terenceoneill4905]

oh, i'm sorry to hear that. it really moves me. i am also in my 40s and went through hell undiagnosed and being treated terribly by neurotypicals. i'm trying to meet others like me too. you are absolutely not alone, and i hope you make some great friends. best wishes.

[@nashvillainz]

43 here. Diagnosed last year. I left my last life and people behind and now really struggling to make friends. I hope we can all be friends. ❤

[@rays7805]

*hug* (if you want the hug)

[@merbst]

I'm 42½, I had friends many times before now, but not lately.

[@Gio_Aprile]

Pretty sure my best friend is also autistic, and honestly, I’ve never had a friend like her before. We can just be ourselves and I don’t mask at all. She feels like a sister, and really the only friend I’ve ever been able to say that about and we’re 29!! We just became friends only a couple years ago. You will find your people or your person, I promise. We aren’t broken. She’s just like me, sometimes we don’t talk for 2 weeks, it doesn’t mean anything to our friendship! We just get it. ❤️

[@1969kellyp]

I am the same I only had one best friend. We were friends for 34 years until she died at 45 years old. No one can ever replace her. Cherish the one you have 😊

[@Jesswithponies]

Other ND friends are the best!! Most of my friends are ND

[@Antimortem]

❤

[@emilinebee6280]

It does get less manipulative than high school with age, but also harder to make friends.

[@RedRuneblade_Alt]

Really? I feel like because of societal standards it's way more manipulative now because people have practiced. A boss can be cleverly sociable but abusive to employees and even their management behaves the same so it's completely acceptable for their workplace and even HR won't mind telling someone that if they're sick this year they should know in advance, request that time and if denied they're not allowed to call out. It's scary what the world is like

[@tbcstuff3634]

@@RedRuneblade_Alt I agree, manipulation only gets to higher levels of proffiency as you get older.

[@RedRuneblade_Alt]

@@tbcstuff3634 sad but true... Pretty scary. I think being neurodivergent makes it easier to pick up when someone is not actually a nice person. Or past experiences, other both lol. But sure seems like once you can tell, they notice the manipulative behavior isn't working on you and it's like an excuse for them to display abusive behavior when others who wouldn't approve aren't present

[@ar.a5393]

...The manipulation can be more sophisticated with the more experienced abusers as well as those with more formal education. They are no more harder to spot however so long as you use ur eyes and remember 'actions speak louder than words'...👀

[@fakedeath13]

Realizing most if not all of my friends were huge bullies to me was one of the worst parts of my journey

[@jopgaard]

This describes my friendships or lack there of 100%. I have lived almost 59 years without what I would describe as a best friend. It has been a lifelong struggle. Every time I think I’m making a friend either I push too hard and chase the person away or they push me away. Meeting people is impossible when you don’t want to go to the usual social things such as bars or parties. Recently I have started volunteering but even then I am the outsider of the group and find just interacting difficult. Morgan, you have once again described what being autistic is like so well! Thanks! Keep making content on KZbin!

[@MDWLRK7]

I get this so much.

[@theshadypersonify]

I am willing to be friends with you

[@RedRuneblade_Alt]

​@@theshadypersonifyidk.. That offer sounds a bit shady.. (because of your name) My jokes don't hit irl either lol, only works if you're charismatic 🤷

[@strangesocks]

I read somewhere once that friendships are like bunches of flowers, all the tulips together, all the daisies together and people with autism are the bees visiting them all, taking time to enjoy them but having to bumble around to the next one. That idea has stuck with me and feels comforting... i don't know if it is but it feels it.

[@babewithbrains19]

I can maintain friendships in a structured setting like school or work. Later, I've been told that is in fact, not being good at friendships. 😅

[@laurencewinch-furness9450]

Similar here, although in my work I've got a major plus - four of my co-workers are also autistic

[@anon3746]

What, really? I can barely do that, fuck

[@babewithbrains19]

@@laurencewinch-furness9450 That must be nice ☺️

[@amyscarlett5502]

Kind of similar experience here, but I don't feel it like an actual friendship, more so that they just tolerate me whilst they have to, but I cease to exist outside of that context. Like maybe they're getting married and I wasn't invited, or everyone got together to go lunch outside and I was left alone

[@babewithbrains19]

@@amyscarlett5502 that has definitely happened to me as well 💙

[@kaylaroseharwood2810]

This describes every friendship i have had, I thought it was just me.

[@nussknacker9827]

Same, but I also thought there must be a person in this world who thinks and feels like me.

[@x3AnimeFanXD]

I've been working for 3 months now and I still haven't made any friends at the workplace because I DON'T like talking! I'm always in my lil' corner working alone listening to music on my headphones at all times. If I socialize and try to interact with people then my mask activates creating this struggle to form sentences while doing eyecontact. It's very draining to the point of me collapsing at home after my shift is over (and partially on the busride home makign me miss my bus stop on multiple occasions). I value my free time and if I have to form social connections then I sacrifice my free time for sleep. It sucks. I'm glad I'm working in an environment that accomodates for me at the cost of working under minimum wage. Ngl growing up with internet was the saving grace for me when it comes to my friendships that I still have. It eliminates most of my problems with talking to people and I'm so very thankful for it.

[@K-tw4wb]

I'm in you shoes but it's been way longer for me at almost 2 years. I would recommend pushing yoursellf to socialize even in small ways, because after a while, I feel like I am not making any personal progress and nobody here cares about me

[@RhymeandRamblings]

This sounds like a trauma response, like you’re dissociating. When do you first remember “having a mask activate” while talking to people? If it was a traumatic moment, this could explain the extreme fear response: your brain is trying to protect you from perceived danger. Either way I highly recommend hypnotherapy.

[@jimwilliams3816]

I’m on the other end of that time arc. The internet didn’t exist until almost middle age for me, but now in my 60s I am grateful for it in the same way.

[@samsmusichub]

I hope Morgan finds that great honest friend she deserves!

[@scenepunk09]

Yes, a good friend whose got her back too and will let her know when they notice red flags in other people.

[@snc_luv]

OMG THAT'S EXACTLY HOW I'VE BEEN FEELING LATELY!!!!! Towards the end when u talk about not liking to socialize but needing it so badly and how draining it is, I get that soooooooooo much and one of my friends just doesn't get it. I have an autistic friend and a non autistic friend and I definitely relate and get along with and argue less with my autistic friend. But I hate socializing, because like u, if ur close to me I also can be easily manipulated and gaslighted, like I realized that my own mom has been manipulating me for years but I still fall for it every time, like I know she's doing it, but somehow I still fall for it. I also don't like socializing, it is really draining, even in therapy, like I'll get back from therapy and be so drained and just lay in my bed and not want to get out for at least a few weeks. And like I want more friends, but I don't know how to get them and don't want to put in the work to get them, but I do want them.

[@pleasepleasethebees]

In my 40s now. You hit some really key points that I absolutely identify with. Particularly, bullies, and not being able to/wanting to maintain friendships from a distance. So interesting! At this point, I really work on building a sense of contentment and enjoyment of being alone. I embrace the power of parasocial relationships. I join in with book clubs and volunteer opportunities, but I don't put any pressure on trying to turn acquaintances into close friends anymore. It's enough that we enjoy each other's company at scheduled activities. I consider my "third places" as social outlets, even if I don't talk to anyone there. (Cafe, library, gym) If being an "outsider" is my destiny as an autistic person, then I'm going to embrace that status and enjoy it... and I do. Funnily enough, I've always loved stories and movies about castaways and mountain men - people out there on their own, just surviving and maybe even thriving. It's not always easy, but the alternative is making myself miserable trying to "fit in" and I just don't have the energy for that anymore.

[@tracybartels7535]

Yes, I almost don't want to try to make friends because it was so traumatic for so long. But I do enjoy being alone and have absolutely embraced the parasocial. Every day I took my kids to preschool and couldn't make friends I used to cry, every Sunday I couldn't break through the surface chit-chat, every time I saw people everywhere getting closer and shutting me out, that was the worst. I'm not 100% sure why I can't do it (nor can I afford to find out), but I can't, and I have kids so I can't risk the mental health implications of trying any more. I do like my kids, and 2 of them are like me, which is hard for them.

[@sammumoo8186]

When you mentioned how it's hard to tell whether your friends are your friends or bullies, it reminded me of my childhood-teenage friends. There was a guy in our group of friends, and he would always get teased. I would always say something because I didn't like how they would bully him. But they were always joking. One day, one of them said to me "Ximo (this guy that they teased) is sick of you protecting him whenever we tease him. He thinks you're in love with him and said you're disgusting." So there's a lot to unpack there. I never had any romantic feelings towards him, I just had difficulties registering the teasing as sarcasm, and would always say things like, come on, guys, stop saying that, or, don't listen to them. It's also the fact that my friend told me this to hurt me. He always did homophobic sh*t (I'm transgender male to female and bisexual, at the time I wasn't out as either, but everyone could tell I was queer) to me, and when I'd confront him about it, he mentioned his gay uncles... Also: this very same friend was my childhood best friend. Up until first year of secondary, he was my best friend throughout most of primary. When we started secondary, he started to completely ignore my existence. He then became the leader of the friend group, and would always find ways (like what I wrote earlier) to make me feel upset. In one class he pretended like he wanted to kiss me in front of the entire class, just to laugh at me and ridicule me. I learned of how they had a WhatsApp group where everyone was in except for me. I think it's for two reasons: as you mentioned, I must have been for them a "surface level friend", because no one in the group had thought of inviting me, which hurt a lot, because I considered all of them to be my friends. But it was also because this guy was intentionally leaving me out. I then told one friend to ask to let me in, which I hated to do, because I didn't want to "beg" them to join their group from which they had already excluded me. We were 17-18 at the time as well, like how childish can they be. So this guy said they should vote on it. Everyone said yes, to let me in. But this guy said no. And since he had this weird dynamic over everyone, I ended up not being added. After that I decided not to hang out with them ever, to cut them from my life, because I had other friends that I had healthy relationships with. Then last year I met with them and when this toxic guy showed up, I felt this terrible pain in my chest. He gives me terrible anxiety. And then while we were texting one day, he suddenly said he "apologises in case he had at some point not been able to empathise with me", which is the closest I will ever get to getting an actual apology from him, since that was not one. But these issues really create trauma, other than being autistic and it making it hard to navigate through relationships, there's also these people who like to complicate things. I'm quite sociable and love making friends, but I can definitely tell how my autism impacts this part of my life. Learning more about it helps, so thank you for creating this video ❤

[@PurpleDolphinLover]

YOU SPOKE TO MY SOUL

[@ellaboobella8770]

I’m so happy when your videos get posted. I’m way older than you, and sadly most neurotypical women become quite cliquish and keep to their usual circle of friends when they get older… and the subject always comes up about why I’m my age and yet have no friends. That alone ends it right there. The last time I tried to be friends with someone we were in her car and she said… “It’s a good thing we’re not roommates, because I’d smother you in your sleep.” So, it’s good that my special interest involves animals, primarily wildlife.

[@Catlily5]

That's a horrible thing to tell someone. I am sorry that happened. People can be so mean.

[@ELl_e..3]

Knowing where you struggle and thinking you have limitations to be a good best friend is so insightful. However, on the flipside, a good best friend accepts you for who you are, and since you see that in yourself, you would probably be very accepting of someone else who has the same struggles. No friendship whether neurodivergent or not, is void of miscommunications, misunderstandings, hardships, inequalities etc.

[@sammumoo8186]

I have this friend that I met on October, and ever since, I have grown more fond of him. I feel like I've fallen in love with him, but I also feel like it wouldn't work out, so I won't tell him what I feel for him. But what amazes me is that I haven't experienced any romantic feelings since 2018 right up until a few weeks ago. After episodes of insomnia and depression, as well as having several autistic meltdowns on a daily basis, I felt like I had completely lost myself. But this person has made me happier and more confident, and so have other friends. I'm so grateful, I feel like they have helped me in recovering pieces of myself that I had lost. I grew up in a very toxic friend group. I thought I would always be destined to be alone, have short-lasted friendships and slowly lose everyone in my life. I feel like for most allistic people, maintaining a friendship is something that's automatic. For me it's excruciatingly hard. I overthink everything or I'm completely oblivious about things. I am a very passionate person towards the people I love and I don't want to lose them. I don't want to lose the happiness it brings me to be with those people. So whatever happens with this new friend, I really hope we stay in each others' lives.

[@HannahLewisVocalist]

Dang same here!! Every time Ive had feelings for someone after a while knowing them, i go into overload and I just know that I love them. Having never confessed to any of them cos I'm deeply socially awkward, I've realised in the end they were never meant to be. Too many differences, they changed who they were for someone else, or they've just disappeared from my life. Actually the last guy something did actually happen but luckily it didn't last long for 'reasons' but he was a jerk anyway so just as well. I'm more worried about the capacity to make friends so it'll be impossible to make a romantic relationship last, let alone find a guy in the first place 😅 I'm 28.

[@dreamscape405]

I'm super late diagnosed woman at age 50, and really relate to this!! Especially the part about being easily manipulated. People look at you like you're crazy, because you "should be able to tell by now", since you're so "old", and should've known better. Yes, I've learned a Lot about manipulation, so I know when it's happening, but it STILL gets me. However, I recently met 2 other ND in a special interest group, so that gave me hope❤ I also literally speak it out into the energetic universe on a regular basis, on what I want/need to have in friends, and the manifestation of that was almost instant. Ask, and you WILL receive. Thank you SO much for your work here...it feels really good to be so validated ❤❤❤🥂💃

[@galois6569]

I relate to so much of this. Fortunately I have friends I see regularly because of work, but I struggle to make those friendships deeper, especially when socializing takes so much energy.

[@calebivey1776]

Dang how could anyone be mean to you? You're the sweetest girl! You are not alone. Idk what a healthy friendship is yet either. Hopefully nobody else bullies you. I don't like when people bully each other and are mean to each other.

[@WaterMan416]

In my own experience, the nicest people are low hanging fruit for bullies. They don't like push back. I've seen it happen and I've been the victim of it myself. And, at least until we get older and wiser, we aren't very good at defending ourselves. I don't know if we go along with it because of a desire to belong, but it definitely starts as not realizing we're being bullied, at least for some of us. Maybe it is a sunk cost fallacy. I've definitely associated with people who bullied me longer than I should have, for whatever reason.

[@jimwilliams3816]

@WaterMan416 yes, the thing about bullying is it is mostly reflective of the issues of the bullies. Who gets picked on has mostly to do with who is perceived as vulnerable or as being an “other.” The most heartbreaking thing is that so many people who are bullied internalize it as a sign of deficiencies in themselves, and that really isn’t the reason for it. I got very into Robert Sapolsky, who taught a course on Human Behavioral Biology, and also studied baboons in the wild for many years. He describes the tendencies primates (including humans) have toward tribal behavior. A tribal outlook involves two things: establishing a hierarchy within your tribe (who outranks who), and also an awareness of who is in your tribe...and who isn’t. Not all humans focus on these traits- autistic people tend to be nonhierarchical, and I don’t think it’s just because we often aren’t socially successful, it’s more that hierarchy doesn’t resonate or make sense to many of us. We do want to be liked and be part of something, but generally not in a competitive way. The good news: Sapolsky states that, in fact, the happiest members of a baboon tribe are not the high ranking individuals - their lives are actually very stressful, because they must constantly defend their rank, and will eventually lose it. The least stressed individuals are actually the ones who have no rank, and rather than striving to achieve it, keep a low profile and develop relationships with others who fall below the radar. They can live a far more peaceful and supported life. That strikes me as what a lot of autistic people end up doing, and it’s validating to think this is in fact a winning strategy.

[@svensnus1674]

Damn you really got me with the "I'm easily manipulated if you're close to me, bc I believe you"... I low key realized that last week and now that you describe it, it hits.

[@daltonbartlett6584]

As someone with developmental dyspraxia, I struggled making friends all the way up until 7th grade. I am a twin and my sisters friends were the only people who would be cool with me. In that time, I spent learning a lot about my passion in football and in 7th grade, people found out and I became popular almost overnight. A lot of people who once would make jokes about me or pay no attention to me ended up being the ones that looked out for me more than anyone. This did wonders for me even once I graduated from high school and moved to college out of state and I made friends just being myself and I am an extremely social person now. I count my blessings that I got lucky and I am sorry to hear about your struggles but I appreciate you sharing them.

[@zreyon]

The part about a group where everyone is closer with each other and you're just there resonated so much with me. I recently had a person tell me "you don't consider us your friends", and it felt weird. Because I don't consider them "not my friends", but it made me realize they think I do. So it explains the whole experience of me being comfortable with them, since all relations are surface level / casual at that point, then starting to feel left out because I don't develop deeper connections with them, and that snowballing into not being considered when making plans. But then they'll say they're happy I could join them for some plan, and I feel I'm just sent to the starting line again, only to repeat the loop. Love your videos. I don't think I'm necessarily autistic (although there's some neurodivergence definitely going on in here), and they help me see some of my experiences through a different lens and put it into words. I'm all here for your autistic confessions!

[@melekkocak365]

04:33 this is sooo relatable i dont always know when people are being nice to me or if theyre using me also thanks for making this❤

[@ruckly1241]

I love "Muppet's Christmas Carol". It's my favorite Christmas Carol and my favorite Muppets. But there is one line that has always been a sore spot for me. At the end (spoilers), during the "yay, Scrooge is good now" song, there's the line: "And if you want to know, the measure of a man, you simply count his friends." Growing up as a kid with pretty much no friends, that hurt. Heck, as an adult with pretty much no friends, it still stings a bit.

[@pleasepleasethebees]

...but but but - some people have a lot of friends, but that doesn't necessarily mean they're good people. (Cult leaders for example) This is a false narrative and I think you're safe to let it go. Catchy idea for the end of a show, but not a way to measure the value of a human being. In d&d the characters are assigned values: strength, dexterity, constitution, intelligence, wisdom, charisma. A character can score low in charisma, but high in other things and that's ok - even important to round out a d&d adventuring party. Anyway, alls I'm trying to say is, if we autistics are low in charisma, we make up for it with our intelligence and wisdom (special interests!) We're often highly compassionate and helpful people as well.

[@beccasedibleart8722]

Thank you for being open about this. I know it was hard for you. This 100% describes the struggles I've had my entire life. Recently I've tried explaining to my closer friends my struggles with making friends, but I've never really been able to get my point across. They see that I'm social and have people to hang out with at times, and so think these are true friends. The truth is that I'm masking so highly, and holding myself back, so I never really get close with people, despite wanting to. It doesn't help that if I unmask, people usually run

[@ogpayne]

You're so sweet. I've always struggled with friends and I was easily manipulated too. I don't know if it's just the area I live in, but everyone seems to have the attitude that it's okay to use each other. It's all about what you do for them or how you can entertain them. Not the friendship I want. I'm so much deeper than that. If I click with a person, I like to soak them in - which looks like a trade-off of info dumps. Sometimes, I can be emotionally slutty, which leads people to take advantage of me. It makes me feel naive and stupid. It's like most neurotypicals are dead on the inside - I can barely feel their energy and they're numb to mine. It's hard to give love to those who are not open enough to it. But to me, you seem so normal. I'll just stick to people like us. if a neurotypical wants to invest the time and energy into navigating how I'm different and work with me, power to them. I had a couple best friends, but they turned their backs and/or betrayed me. I don't mask as much anymore and don't really put up a front unless my welfare depends on it. Putting on shows has become too exhausting.

[@AdonisGaming93]

You just explained most of how i felt growing up in a single video.... love your content. You are helping someone that is slowly discovering that he might be autistic, and for that I thank you!

[@samueloneworldproductions6520]

oh yes i felt a lot of this, i thankfully dont have much experience with socialization burnout (as least as i know of) but struggling with making friends has always been an issue with me and i would constantly get taken advantage of (mainly one time in 2020 where someone guilt tripped me into sending $1200) and i would have my occansional moments of feeling left out especially if it feels like sometimes people i work with talk more to others than to me and the worst part of being autistic is if i can never tell if someone is mad or furious with me or if they have an issue with me unless they say something about it and then they get mad and angry when i don't pick up on it with how "obvious" it was instead of just flat out telling me if i'm doing this or that wrong, apparently we live in a society where people just say vague things and expect you to get it which made things so frustrating and it can cause huge anxiety and overthinking to happen

[@jimwilliams3816]

You are definitely not alone. I’m male and in my sixties and my friend situation is dire. Partly due to social anxiety that has grown paralyzing over decades, and this has a lot to do with what you described, an inability to tell what I should or shouldn’t say to someone. And yes, I have no capacity to tell if someone is a friend or acquaintance, except in my case I generally default to assuming acquaintance in all situations. This has to do with my inability to understand why anyone would care if they ever saw me again or not - a combination of connection issues and what an ADHD KZbinr describes as object permanence issues applied to people, out of sight out of mind. It was easier to have friends when I was in public school, because we were in proximity by default. My first friend was a childhood playmate that was an arranged thing, as you describe, not surprising at preschool age. From there I became a serial monogamist in primary school, one friend at a time, and we would hang out together, but one on one, not in a group. I never liked social groups, partly because it was too many elements to navigate, and partly because boys at least can be jerks in groups. I have followed enough autistic women Vloggers now to realize that sadly, girls can be too. It may even be worse, which has been a revelation for me, as I’ve had pretty serious gender self hate most of my life. I never planned the monogamy, but looking back, I think I could almost offer this as a tip: one on one may be more workable for people on the spectrum. The down side is that when I lose a friend, it’s a bigger deal, more like a marriage breaking up. And having few friends makes me more vulnerable to serious isolation and lack of support. Which is why I’m a KZbin oversharer, trying to get the human connection I don’t get in real life anymore.

[@RhymeandRamblings]

Are you artistic? I ask because I wonder if most artistic people are like this and if it’s a blessing in disguise because we end up with much more time to be creative than neurotypical people.

[@jimwilliams3816]

@RhymeandRambling Yes, I suppose I am. I spent a whole lot of time as a kid, in my room, drawing. I don’t think I was ever that talented, but I did it a lot, and so got tolerable. Being able to draw masked some other things; I was not as much of an outsider in school as I would have been otherwise, though I could tell the difference between people liking my drawings and liking me. And it gave me a vocation that involved showing a portfolio rather than doing job interviews. I used to joke that I became a commercial artist because I was otherwise unemployable, but in retrospect it wasn’t much of a joke. (The only thing my academic history was ever good for was supporting my ADHD diagnosis. No risk of “you can’t have ADHD, you did too well in school.”) Drawing did run in the family on my father’s side, which is the most suspiciously autistic side. My father was almost certainly autistic. My grandfather might have been. My great grandfather died before I was born, but based on what I know he could have been. Are you artistic as well?

[@RhymeandRamblings]

@@jimwilliams3816 Yes I am as well. Your comment helped me make that connection between friend struggles and artistic talent. It’s something I’ve thought of in the past but haven’t fully embraced until recently. I’ve always thought I should have more friends so I haven’t invested in the solitude needed to pursue my art. For me it’s creative writing. I think making this connection will help a lot, embracing monogamous friendship as you succinctly put it. That’s great you’ve been able to be a commercial artist and interesting about how the talent ran through autistic family members.

[@einkleinerfalke3347]

I experience friendship more as some sort of vibes. If I define friendship as not minding your presence 80% of my time because you are cool, sharing an interest and tolerant for stims, a lack in social skills and stuff. If so, you are so rare that you may as well be a friend. If I get some sort of weird excitement from your presence, I learned to become suspicious because this excitement might not be a good excitement if this makes sense

[@VelocityVex]

Just sharing, but I actually made a best friend back in elementary. We were both in special Ed, and he had ADHD and I had Autism and ADHD. We had a lot of common interests, he was a grade older. We became best friends 6 years ago, even though that might not seem a lot for some people. We’re still best friends till this day. Basically don’t let autism hold you back, just try your best.

[@glossnyctmania]

It's a little sad how I can relate to mostly everything you said. Like now that someone has actually articulated it I went 'oh, this is... oddly farmiliar'. Also, I really admire your courage to speak about something so personal on camera - that takes guts. It felt really good to hear someone say that they go through basically the same things I do, so thank you, thank you, thank you, you're totally awesome

[@Sophiebewildin]

I thought I found my best friend last year but we both ran into the issue of “we’re super busy with working and don’t have energy or time to hang out because we’re exhausted all the time.” And now we’re not speaking with each other. 😢 Friendships and deepening them have been hard for me. Thank you for sharing this video

[@mattw-cx50]

Life is hard enough without being technically on the spectrum. I can barely imagine how much harder it is when you are. You do an excellent job giving me an idea though. You are a good person and you're smart and interesting and beautiful and so self aware. You deserve some really good close friends and I believe you will find some because I know they're out there.

[@Matt-ul6dq]

Your videos are brilliant, thank you for making such helpful and honest content. My best friend is autistic, and everything you say always resonates with what they tell me and how they are, and your content really helps me to try to be the best friend I can for them like they are for me

[@belorama8]

My best friend is also neurodivergent and that is, i think, the key. We sometimes dont talk for weeks because we both struggle with social demands and consistency. And sometimes we have 4-5 hour long phone calls to body double long distance. Reflecting back at the end of my twenties I realize almost no one I was friends with was actually my friend. There are exceptions, but all of them including my best friend are also late-diagnosed ADHD or ASD. I was always the useful person to have around, or a flattering shadow, or the "entertainment", or sometimes the punching bag. Finally in my mid twenties I started to learn how to create better boundaries for myself and the bad friendships dwindled, but finding good ones and being able to actually cultivate that is hard as hell. I've moved a lot throughout my life, I lived in 5 states and went to 9 different schools, practice does not make perfect. You just have to keep rolling the dice.

[@MDWLRK7]

I cannot tell you how much you’ve helped me as I’m seeking a diagnosis. You have processed things in a way that I couldn’t. It’s extremely important to break these things down for a potential diagnosis bc I have decent social skills. I’ve always struggled with friendship and I know my motives and I think I’m a good friend and I don’t understand why people don’t like me? I know that sounds narcissistic but I just know me. I was manipulated and bullied too. And when people eventually pulled away in high school, I couldn’t tell if it was bc they didn’t like me or because we didn’t have the same classes and just didn’t have time, etc. But the sidekick/cheerleader thing… 😭🤯 yes. It seems like I’m the supporting actress in everyone’s story. The weird, quirky, girl with good intentions who no one really hangs out with but is just…there. It seems like I just exist for other people. It sucks. I’m 38 and have never been diagnosed yet everyone knows I’m different. Things people will do when they find out you see the good in others bc you know your own issues/motives is so stupid and evil. When you talk about someone telling you that you did or said something wrong and you absolutely didn’t- felt that too. Like people legitimately hated me for some reason but those aren’t friends, hon. Those are toxic people in any setting. In fact, something that truly helped me is both studying antisocial/manipulative behaviors for years and then dialogue and body language analysis. I have pretty good instincts about what someone is feeling or if something is “off” but I’m not great at seeing it in real time. You deserve good friends. I’ve done kind of a stereotypical thing and made friends through Reddit bc I CAN observe that type of communication and analyze it in real time. I hate going out though bc it’s absolutely exhausting. The social hangover is 1,000% real. 🤣 That has affected my friendships as well. You should def do more of these videos! Including Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome! My mom is figuring out that she may be autistic too and she has Raynaud’s and I might too. So many co-occurring issues! You’re helping so many, Morgan! I’m amazed people never diagnosed me before this. I have a whole burnout story too. Lots of bullying during that time and then I was able to get disability… So, keep going!!! You’re amazing!❤

[@MDWLRK7]

Also…sorry for oversharing. 😬

[@amybaker5304]

Thank You for sharing this. My 10 yr old autistic daughter is massively struggling with friendships. I’m going to show her she’s not alone. You’re so brave xx

[@theedgeofoblivious]

This video was so painful to watch, because I relate to it SO MUCH.

[@kileyodonnell9823]

Hi Morgan! Thank you so much for sharing! I don’t think I’ve ever felt so seen and understood. This is exactly how I’ve felt my entire life. I’m 24 years old with exactly zero friends and it’s so hard! I’m not diagnosed but pretty positive I have autism based on things I’ve heard and experienced and other diagnoses, and trying to figure how to be diagnosed is so difficult. I started watching you through shorts and you have helped me understand my self so much more.

[@webkinzcircus]

i cannot emphasize enough how much i needed this video. even so many videos about being autistic & navigating friendship are focusing on trying to change ourselves to be "better" at friendship and socializing but recently i was venting to my therapist about how i feel broken, sometimes even like a bad person for not being able to keep up with it & feeling like maybe.. i don't even want it (a thriving social life& more than like.. 1-2 friends) and she absolutely blew my mind by telling me i don't need to prioritize those things if i don't want to- in fact i shouldn't cuz it's clearly harming me & it was so... enlightening & i'm in this similar place of learning to accept myself, i'm still working on it and it's hard especially figuring out how to communicate that i can't be what certain people want me to be but i know it'll all be worth it (would love to hear u talk about how you're navigating being clear about your limits & what you can & cannot do, setting boundries and accomadating urself- its so hard i've been so deeply engrained to people please)

[@grumpydragonproductions264]

This is a mood. Good video, can very much relate to every single moment in it.

[@DIYbri]

I relate to this so hard, Morgan!! Thank you for your bravery to share. I struggle with friendships too & falling into manipulation. I am not officially diagnosed but your content has really helped me. You are a force of nature. Thank you for sharing!! ❤

[@arsas4556]

I'm sorry you went through that Morgan. Good Luck & Stand Strong

[@CALON_SO]

Thank you for sharing your story. It is a very tough subject to talk about privately (so publicly like this must be hard too). I admire your courage and i hope you continue to share your stories. Much love ☀️

[@netashamir7645]

Thank you for talking about such sensitive and deep topics. It really makes me feel less alone, which means a lot❤

[@alixerri5210]

I love your videos but sometimes they make me cry. Thank you for sharing your life with us!❤

[@ToCoSo]

Another amazing video, thank you for sharing, my daughter struggles with friendship so much, this really helps me understand more the difficulties and obstacles and also why if we are a lone we are not always lonely. Lots of love to you (friendly kind!).

[@flyingroses]

Watching these videos make me feel so blessed. In elementary school, I mainly had one best friend (thank you mom and teacher!) with whom I would just play Minecraft and on the Wii and also talk, but playing games kept it easy and she just accepted me and liked playing games together (she was autistic too, as it turns out), and I was part of a friend group who would simply play tag during every break. And then in secondary school, I was late on the first day, got to sit next to a very sociable and kind girl who, after school, came cycling after me because she actually liked me and then we became good friends, and she was also my way to get to know a few more people so I had people to sit with during class. Our school(year) didnt even have friend groups were people were really mean or manipulative (as far as i know, everyone was just a fairly decent person) I really wish everyone could have such great experiences as I did- it sucks to hear other autistic people talking about not being accepted by their peers

[@MaryannV973]

First of all, thank you so very much for making these videos. Your content is invaluable!! There is no need to mask here. You're building your own community. the more I watch your channel, the more I am convinced that I have some level of AuDHD that has gone undiagnosed. My social battery lives somewhere between 0-25%. In one of your other videos, you mentioned that you have to force yourself to smile and/or make eye contact. I have a family member that is constantly asking me what is wrong with me in a fairly rude manner simply because I have a blank facial expression or don't immediately react to whatever it is that was just said/occurred. Please know that you're not alone.

[@Man_of_Tears]

Thank you for being so brave to put this on the tube!! I'm learning a lot from you. Sincerely, thank you

[@annagrigoreva7230]

Thank you so much for sharing! I am so sorry that people that you thought were your friends treated you poorly. I can totally relate to feeling left out, for the most part of my teenage and adult lives I’ve felt the same way, and it’s very sad and depressing. It’s like people just tolerated me around, but they would do stuff without me all the time( I also have a problem with deepening a friendship, but in the different way. I am not good in surface level conversations, and I always want to talk about something meaningful, but often it’s the other people that don’t want that. I met an autistic girl at work, and talking with her is an amazing experience! I feel so comfortable around her, and we have a lot in common. I realised, just as you said, that people that I used to try to befriend were a lot different from me, and that’s why it never worked and I did not enjoy it.

[@jordanb3778]

i'm a 24 year old undiagnosed autistic (I have heavily weighed the pros and cons of seeking official diagnose but for my career plans and life goals it's just not feasible for me to do so without being heavily restricted) - this video brought tears to my eyes, I frequently find myself looking back at my early experiences and I feel so heartbroken for child me struggling to make friends. I realise it now but I had the same experiences where I was "part of" a group without realising I was being made fun of and ridiculed by them all. I have a best friend but she is my only real friend and honestly I'm so thankful that we met! Over the last 5 years though, with university and full-time work, we've spent increasingly more time apart and so we've learned how to transfer socialisation into more digital forms and I've found it so much less taxing on the social battery (always felt so guilty for feeling that way, especially with her because I love being around her but everyone drains me in some way) - thank you for making these videos, they truly help me in feeling less alone in my experiences, i find a tremendous amount of comfort in them

[@sarahedwards5766]

I'd absolutely love if you talked about things people don't like to talk about. I felt so SEEN watching this video, especially the manipulation in friendships, thank you so much for making this video! I relate so much! Thank you for showing we are not alone!

[@sunshine_almon]

thank you for sharing these experiences! i not very recently joined this club of people and i think that’s the highest concentration of neurotypical people in an expected friend group i have ever been a part of and i struggled so hard to be their friend (previously in the “nerd classes” and befriended people who on hindsight have also realised they are autistic) and it was so jarring. that was crazy. and i thought something was wrong with me up until i started relating to your videos! so, thank you so much for sharing your experiences!

[@cupofteawithpoetry]

I relate so much to your video and friendship struggles Morgan. Thank you 🙏

[@ameliasmith4580]

I have struggles with friends too. Up till year 5 i had them fine. My mum hot me a friend before school (one of her friends kids) and we went to nursery together. This enabled me to find another one too while being there before the first one left and i went up with the second one. I then made friends through that person and went up with them again and now thanks to that person my bestie is who i made friends with in reception and we still besties now

[@jonathans9141]

Your videos are a huge help in accepting myself and my situation. It's hard enough to not have friends, and so much more so to not understand why. I had and have a similar experience to yours, and to be able to relate to someone for once felt really good. Thank you for sharing!

[@floofypoof4727]

This definitely made me feel more at peace. I never really could articulate why I had a hard time making friends/maintaining them but you summed it up perfectly. On top of of the exhaustion I definitely take everyone at face value and it's so jarring when you think ur friends and your not

[@PinkPantherLover25]

I honestly don't think I've ever related more to a video in my life than I have this one. This is the first time I've ever really heard of someone who struggles with friendships in the same way I have and this makes me feel like I am not alone in this struggle. Trying to even explain all of this to my friends has always been difficult and I've even lost friends because of it. Thank you so much for sharing your experiences and insight because you really are making a difference💜So glad I stumbled across this video☺️

[@onlineaccount63]

Hi Morgan, I felt the same way my entire life. No friends. Never understood the social context or what goes into it. I am now 58 years old and found the best way to make friends is to be who you are not what people think you are. It's a bold audacious act to leave my comfort zone, leave the scripts at home and go out on an adventure to find myself some friends. I made so many mistakes, often being taken advantage of by my fair weather friends. However, in the end I have discovered just like everyone else finding a to friend is often trying to find a needle in a haystack. I also discovered, most "normal" folks don't have friends either. I think we are all in the same boat. It takes time, effort and a commitment to discover who we are. The turning point in my quest came after I started practicing "active listening". Good luck.

[@StillthatguyJake]

The youtube vibe, while not the same as TikTok, is nice! It's nice to spend more time and get more perspective. These seem to be more casual and comfy feeling so I, for one, hope you do more of the long-form stuff. Either way, thank you for your insights and vulnerability and for making us all feel welcome and seen! THANK YOU

[@anisah6089]

❤❤❤❤❤ thank you for this video. Also I'm so so sorry for those friendship experiences you spoke about this video, they honestly sound a little traumatising. It sounds like you've really come to know yourself though, I wish you many flourishing friendships in the future

[@cristinaoancea2228]

Girl, you are the best! Both me and my husband are quite social people and we have an autistic son. Your videos help me a lot in understanding him, his struggles (he had had an autistic meltdown a few days ago because of social interaction and I didn’t know exactly what happened, but now I see it more clearly). Keep up with this channel because your voice is heard much more than you can imagine. My child cannot hear you now (he doesn’t understand English yet), but I hear you and I will try my best to show him that life is awesome even if the society was designed for people slightly different than him. Besides, you, as well as him, show me how awesome are autistic people. Thank you!

[@Dreykopff]

Very relatable, but also mindboggling. You're pretty and seem like a nice person to be around, you shouldn't have a hard time to find friends...but yeah, there's always a chance of them being the wrong ones, but not all of them have to be the wrong ones.

[@laryssasilva01]

Hi, Morgan! I just want to say that I l’ve just found your channel and think you are a lovely person. I’m still only self diagnosed, but your videos have been helping me a lot. Thank you for putting in the effort and making such good and inclusive content!

[@NFSMAN50]

This popped up in my recommendations, Im also autistic and i've struggled with friendships over the years, and i definitely relat to all of these. I struggle to keep friends. Good video!! thank you for what you are doing!!!

[@Cat.cath4]

I always got “phase” friendship, no connection that stick through time, no regrets whatsoever except i look like a bad person to other people… i have 1 autistic bestfriend (10 years anniversary) and its the only friendship i kept, i always made friendships in jobs and school, because i’m friendly and sociable (I’m masking obviously to get through the day) and they want to go get coffee, partying, do something after work, invite me to their home and i just always felt and still feel so uncomfortable… l can’t because our friendship is built off my mask, and i feel no connection…. I don’t have the energy to take care of friendships and always want to be on my own anyway… i feel like because of my masking and making friends in my early 20s, i ruined my autistic alone-me time that i could’ve had … all the stuff i could’ve made because i’m very artistic… it’s crazy because now i get told “you need friends, you cant live your life alone, you need to share with people “ I DID AND IT RUINED ME, I LOST MYSELF AND IT WAS USELESS… i need neurodivergent friends… i know it’s discrimination towards neurotypical, but i don’t connect with you, and you connecting with me is cringing my whole body, i feel in a cage. Try talking about depression to a neurotypical; “don’t say that”, “aww i feel sorry for you”, “this is too heavy to handle”, or feel awkward… my neurodivergent friend will just say silly stuff, dark humour, laughing, relating to it… we can interrupt the other, jumping on another random topic without offending the other…. DONT DO THAT TO NEUROTYPICAL … they get angry real fast

[@outlandishmuch]

yessss omgosh awesome it's not just me that's so over it. I love what you said about how you have no connection to these people like coworkers and stuff because they connected with ur mask, not the real you. That is exactly how I feel. Like people trying to befriend me makes me cringe all over my body, just like u said. Thx for your insight!

[@jrojas2520]

Wow. Listening to you tell your story of struggling to make friends sounds so much like my experience as an autistic person. Life can be lonely at times, but I just keep busy, so I won't notice it too much. Also, knowing that there is an autistic youtube community out there is comforting.

[@styphonuk]

Hey Morgan, thanks for raising this topic. I'm 39 and have high-functioning autism. I'm great at masking and it does take a lot of energy. I have 1 best friend who I'm really close with. I've known him for 16 years now and we bonded over similar interests. For us that's PC & board games, and TTRPGs. I completely get what it's like trying to make friends, everything you've described I can relate to, especially when I've been trying to find a girlfriend. My advice is to just go to activities and do things you enjoy doing. Find like-minded people and you'll hopefully find people you can bond with over your shared interests. And from there if you find yourself drawn to one or two specific people who you engage with regularly maybe try to connect with them outside of those activities. That's how my friendship grew organically. Maybe that'll help.

[@SecondChances06]

I’m sorry Morgan about your struggles with having friendships. I totally understand how you feel and what you are going through. I am 45 just realizing that I’m autistic and ADHD in the last year. I hope to find people like myself that I can build a bond with. I hope that you find a good group of friends that you relate to or that you end up having a friend that you can have through the rest of your life. Sending love to you ❤

[@annelspurrier8828]

Another amazing video that captures my experience perfectly. But not an easy listen, as this has been such a struggle for me. Knowing that I’m not broken, I’m autistic helps a bit though. Much love to you ❤️

[@passinthru4646]

Oh my goodness, Morgan, you have just bravely and clearly described my entire life's experience with friendship. Thank you for tackling this hard-to-talk-about topic. Bottom line- It's Hard!! In my life, I have had many many of those surface type friendly relationships, many good as they are, but they do fade. My best anchors so far, friendship-wise, are continuing to work on being my own loving, non-critical best friend (it's hard!)- and I do have a couple of (I'm sure neurodivergent) friends I have met over the years at my jobs, and while our friendships are erratic and wacky, they are what I imagine true friends are- my tribe I guess. They drive me crazy at times and are not necessarily easy to be with (we don't see each other often)...but I imagine it's the same for them with me! Anyway, thank you again for this GREAT video- you rock!

[@Keykers1]

stumbled across your channel, and really appreciate you sharing your story! thanks!

[@krissyiskrazyish]

I just want to say that I can completely relate to you so much. I’m in the process of trying to find out how to get a diagnosis for autism, and I really reasonate with a lot that you said in this video. It’s hard for me to know how to get close with people, and I’ve never really been able to make friendships because I’m afraid of coming across as ‘too much’ and getting rejected. I just want to say though that you seem like a really kind hearted person. The way you speak is just so kind, empathetic, and inspiring. I’m sure you would make an amazing friend ☺️👍❤️

[@davidrock889]

Hey thanks for this. I've been through the friend bullying stuff too. It's rough feeling alone dealing with that emptiness inside. Thanks for sharing

[@jaybrock2595]

All of your videos are revelations but this one is really intriguing and making me question a lot. Excuse me while I rethink my life.

[@malenaxoom9124]

I feel like you are in my mind. I relate to everything you are saying about making friends. I have had great difficulty in this area. I have a very difficult time speaking up and especially to a person that is hurting me and rejection sensitivity keeps me from trying to maintain friendships so now I isolate and relate just with my trusted family members ( I can't trust all of them but I am grateful I have a few that get me and are good to me.) I have learned that my solitude keeps me less anxious and calm.

[@thewallflowerghoast]

I have a very similar experience. I appreciate your content so much and always look forward to you sharing your experiences. I can relate to you so deeply and also appreciate you as a person. I know you mask in your videos but either way I wish I had a friend like you.

[@itisdevonly]

Thanks for making this video. This has been my experience as well. I relate so much. Although, I think you were a bit better at surface level socialization than I was. I was okay at it, but I had so much anxiety and fatigue, I just couldn't bring myself to push myself so hard. I'm 36 now, and I've basically been socially isolated since graduating from college at 22. Only realized I was autistic two years ago, but it's helped me understand so much and feel less alone. I still feel stuck on the social front, though.

[@erikorlowski2445]

As someone on the spectrum, it feels great to hear someone else talk about similar struggles to what I've had. I've known for awhile that I've had trouble making and keeping friendships, but it's only recently that I've had the awareness to identify the issues like you had, specifically, escalating relationships beyond small talk and learning how/when to check-in on people. I think this is an area where Autistic support in general is lacking. It seems like most resources are focused on small scale social interactions, but many people with lower support needs have that figured out, either on their own, or through the help of others. I'm aware of very little support for building and managing relationships at a macro level. Anyways, keep making great content!

[@gregmishler798]

I thank you sooo much for your videos!❤❤❤ My daughter is newly diagnosed at 15. She ended up in a mental health facility for depression, now know it is Autistic Burnout.🙂 You have helped us both understand so much about her life and how to help her. We could never thank you enough. You are very brave!

[@kontakt642]

Hello Morgan! I'm a young guy who lives in a country where the mental health topic is not very advanced or taken super seriously. In the past years I've become quite confident that I have autism but am unable to get a formal diagnosis due to the situation around my family and available resources in my country. Finding your channel has been a blessing! It's like finding someone who finally understands exactly what is going on inside my mind 24/7. I've been able to relate to pretty much everything you have said so far in your shorts and your videos, which makes me really happy. It's a liberating feeling to find someone who has been formally diagnosed and shows the same exact 'symptoms' that I do. It makes me feel like I'm not crazy and I'm not weird, lazy or rude as others have made me feel throughout my life for minor behaviours or ways of thinking and expressing myself that an autism diagnosis perfectly explains.

[@roseforcatsandbooks]

I’m not sure if I’m autistic yet (I mean basically every experience I’ve read or heard has something I relate to) but this is just like, the most interesting and relatable thing I’ve seen. I’ve always tried to make myself like and understand and follow what the others in the groups liked and did, and struggled so much that at the end I broke. And when I finally decided I couldn’t do it anymore basically it meant the friend group excluded me from everything. The best thing? I was so all right with that because at that point I was exhausted. I was burnt out because of school and because of these people. Also I had extreme fatigue caused by chronic illness(es) and didn’t know at the time. High school was true hell. Thanks fo sharing this, it makes us feel less alone. ❤ Socialising is too tiring to be in the to do list. Just… I either shower or go out. Both is just impossible. 😅

[@rohndif.688]

I’m 65 but haven’t & will not give up ! I’m finding kind hearted friends finally , I let them know I struggle , seems to be the key ! However watching your videos helps me express these struggle to others so thank you,, be blessed!❤kind soul

[@user-rp3gm4wt9r]

It’s actually crazy how much this resonates with me and it makes me so happy to know that other people have been going through the same exact thing. It makes me feel like I haven’t been in this alone and I don’t know for sure if I have Autism or not but whatever it is. I’m so glad to know that I’m not alone in these struggles. I finally have been understood. 😢

[@darleen4088]

I can completely understand you. I struggled with social anxiety for many years and I also have troubles with socializing. I don't really have the kind of friends that have enough time for me, so I'm alone most of the time just sitting at home. Even though it got better over the years I still struggle with talking to people and to find interesting topics to talk about. I think what can help is that you don't overstrain yourself and take one step at a time. And that you do things that you enjoy when meeting with people. A thing that also helped me a lot was that I smiled more. I think that can help to loosen up the situation a bit.

[@TigerEgan]

Thank you for another wonderful and helpful video, you are awesome Morgan.

[@srishti81388]

Omg I can relate soo much to this, I thought it was just me. Thank you so much for this video❤

[@Sipgirl115]

You’ve just described my 19 yr old daughter to the “t”. She doesn’t have any friends but really wants them. I love and appreciate your videos so much. Keep them coming 🙏🏼

[@CatsAreCutiess]

My now 16 year old has been having social anxiety since the 6th grade. He made a few friends, but never makes efforts to call or connect. As a parent, I try to invite those few over for a chance to play games, spend the night, and get caught up. He is most comfortable being around adults. We are trying to help him find the tools he needs to help him better express his thoughts or himself. I mostly want him to love himself as we love him, and home is the safe place. I fear he will be manipulated very easily because of his huge heart. How did you become so wise about having autism, recognizing what you can or cannot handle and have that sense of peace in knowing. You are so brave to put yourself out there. I'm very proud of all of your accomplishments. I think what you are doing is so wonderful! Not many discuss things that can be uncomfortable. This is real. Thank you. This helps me better understand my son.

[@user-ji6qq4dk3r]

Hi, Morgan thank you for sharing this I this hit me super hard, I am 21, and have not been officially diagnosed as autistic, but often have little like not sure if it is panic attacks or a since of overwhelming emotions before I hang out with people, that make it hard to push through. I feel so blessed though to have an awesome supportive group of friends I met through my church, things are not perfect, and I oftentimes feel like I am not as close with people as everybody else, but some how though prayer, and God's power I have been able to get out and do things. However, some days I shut down around a lot of people, and can't physically talk to them, as I am trying to process everything, and can't seem to pick up social skills which is something I am going to counseling about, and trying to find the energy to serve others while also, struggling to take care of functional areas I often put so much effort into though, and find it easy to get distracted by other things then forcing myself to continue. Your experience though they may vary a little have made me come to the realization I might be autistic so thank you for sharing. I however, did not have friends for most of my life, and if I could be your friend, and would give you a lot of grace with your social cues just as many of my friends have. Just know you are not alone, and I am praying for your journey towards better mental health. It is not meant to be walked alone though it is certainly difficult to get support, when it is so hard to make friendships in the first place.

[@jmaessen3531]

I'm 33. Got diagnosed with ADHD two years ago. And autism professionally for my 33rd birthday - happy birthday to me! Confirmed suspicions are a genuinely good gift imo 😂 Anyway, the social hangover is very real for me as well. And it's getting easier to recognize who is and isn't a good fit for me. It's hard work, making friends. But relearning how to trust my gut is helping so much. Thanks for talking about this, Morgan! 🎉

[@Arvezet]

Hi Morgan, Respect for being so open. Without any doubt, always stand up for yourself, even if as a consequence you lose ‘friends’! Never accept gaslighting nor bullying. Your future self will be grateful to you. I have a simple criterium. If the person gives me energy it is a potential friend. If not, no hard feelings but I keep my distance. Btw, the term close friend is highly overrated. See friendship as a journey. Some are short, some last longer. With ups and downs. During every journey you become better persons. The longer it last, the closer friends you become. And never forget you are the closest friend of yourself. Be gentle to her.

[@lilredheaded1]

Thank you for being vulnerable and sharing Beautiful.

[@katherinemurphy2762]

I struggle with friendships too. I've had two best friends in my 38 years, but one grew apart, and the other dumped me because I admit that I pushed too hard at one point. I work as an instrumental music teacher in my school district, and as such, I float between two buildings during the week. It has its pros and cons, but one of the cons is that I don't get many opportunities to become part of any one school community (i.e. develop friends). I've been part of my church choir for eight years now, and I'm friendly with the other people there, but I'm not friends with anyone. My husband (who was officially diagnosed on the spectrum at 2) and I both feel quite lonesome many days.

[@Skylasha]

Super anxious and autistic here, I definitely feel that I can relate to not knowing if people consider me a friend or not. I have suuuuper bad imposter syndrome and often very much worry that people are nice to me but don't actually view me as worth anything. It is next to impossible for me to make new friends as well. I think one big issue is most likely due to my autism and adhd I'm very much interested in "my thing" and nothing else. Other people are open to change and variable interests where I'm more "I am intensely hyperfocused in ONE/a few interests" Sidenote I'm very easily exhausted by socializing and I'm an introvert. It feels nice at the least to watch this and feel less alone with the experiences