Become A Master Communicator with Vanessa Van Edwards | Chase Jarvis LIVE

Vanessa is absolutely amazing at unpacking what makes people do the things they do and turning that into proven, actionable techniques for others to hone their own people skills. You’ve heard me talk many times about the critical importance of soft skills in building a successful career as a creator, and Vanessa is THE authority on this mega-important topic.
If you like what you hear in this show then I highly, highly recommend her classes on CreativeLive: Master Your People Skills, The Power Of Negotiation and The Power Of Body Language ---cr8.lv/2pMDwUm
Timestamps:
0:00 Introduction
0:22 Chase Jarvis LIVE Intro
0:37 Introducing Vanessa Van Edwards
1:30 EQ and IQ
3:28 People Aim to Fix Something in Their Self-Narrative
9:05 How do you describe yourself?
10:04 Vanessa's Research on the Virality of a TED Talk
15:21 Captivate: The Science of Succeeding with People
17:16 What are some examples of emotional intelligence?
18:17 Danger of Ambivalent Relationships
24:31 How do you find non-ambivalent relationships?
29:08 Making Friends: The "String" You Have with Them
31:44 Consumer Side of Vanessa's Business: Research, Trainings, Courses
36:11 Reading Body Language: Disgust & Contempt
43:29 Step 1. Decode, Step 2. Emotional Intelligence
46:22 How You Can Encode: Expressiveness
51:01 Vanessa's Book is Like a Textbook to People
51:54 Funny Story About Making Sports References
53:24 What are some key levers in negotiating?
56:47 People Perceive Value When You Evaluate First
1:00:00 How to Have Effective Negotiation
1:06:55 Is there a piece of your work that is easily digestible?
1:09:38 What would people be surprised to know about you?
1:11:49 What is something that is not widely known about you?
1:13:39 Advice for Chase
1:15:04 Next Steps: New Book, Anti-Networking Events
1:16:02 Check Out Vanessa's Blog Posts
1:18:33 Wrap Up: Find Vanessa on Social Media
1:19:30 Outro
Show notes and links for this episode can be found at www.chasejarvis.com/podcast.
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ABOUT CREATIVELIVE
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CreativeLive is an online creative education platform that empowers creators with powerful new skills from visionary instructors. Millions of students, professionals and artists from around the world have consumed over 2 billion minutes of inspirational education from CreativeLive.
You'll find classes on photography, design, music production, crafting, freelancing and entrepreneurship, taught by the world's leading experts. You can watch 1500+ creative classes, live or on-demand, 24/7. www.creativelive.com

[@ChaseJarvis]

Hey guys, if you want more tips & tactics around people skills and emotional intelligence, Vanessa has a great class on negotiation coming up. RSVP and watch for free tomorrow 9AM. cr8.lv/2oQyqqZ

[@gilliangraven9105]

Is it just me or is the livestream not working?

[@lauravioleta]

would love it! what does rsvp mean? :)

[@rorywilliams-burrell8216]

I'd love to!!

[@rorywilliams-burrell8216]

I can't believe that actually worked, I tried the sad face as Vanessa was talking about it and my tear ducts actually opened and I started to cry.

[@SaffronSageAstrology]

"Every time you say 'no' you make space for the right people."

[@ChaseJarvis]

So good. 👌🏼

[@toonasaluggi8841]

I really appreciate the fact that she used to be insanely shy and has taught herself how to overcome that social barrier, when it often becomes an identity - speaking as a self-described "shy" person!

[@JamesScottGuitar]

Everything about this woman is beautiful. Her curiosity, her love for her work, her excitement for the work... Man, what a great discussion.

[@funkeakiboye4338]

I'm only 25 minutes into this and already finding it enlightening!

[@bettykittichaiwong4993]

I thought by using almost a military style kind of management is best. I am direct and inpatient. I like order and to have everything planned out . But that did not get any one motivated , it’s just work but I found that they don’t have heart . Thank you for your sharing . Absolutely eye opening

[@samsmusichub]

She has a matrix for people...I extremely love math and now she's my new favorite person! Overall, this interview provided so much insight into the human mind. Thank you Chase!

[@skymartin3294]

Do more videos together, you guys have a really good connection!! Watching both of you made me desire to have such a positive, and natural relationship with that kind of respect, building each other up, while also having so much fun 😄

[@SneekySecrets]

I had to comment, and correct, the emotion on Botox comment. I have a high forehead that scrunches to deep furrows, and the "11" above the bridge of my nose. This crinkle makes me look pissed off, harsh, and hard to approach. Looking to move up to a senior position at work I decided to try Botox as an experiment to see how a softening might improve my interactions. So doc poke-poke-poke in just those problem areas, allowing ability to still express emotion with raised eyebrows. Loved the results! Over the next couple days as the treatment settled in there was a noticible change. People were approach me more, often asked if I had gotten a haircut, or did make up diff, new sweater, etc....? They couldn't quite place what had changed but all interactions seemed to feel more positive, ending with a smile for both me and my friend or coworker. I bought a book about Botox and emotions (Didn't get to read it all as I gave it to my oral surgeon who did the Botox, on my follow up when he showed interest and had not read the book.) One thing I took from those couple chapters, and felt very much in my own life, was how Botox easing the tension of all those facial muscles improved my mood, left me with more energy, and fewer dull headache at end of the workday. Removing the stress & tension in the muscles blocked that feedback loop. I also felt happier knowing my expression on the outside matched more of how I felt on the inside. This also makes Botox an effective treatment for migraines, and increasing use for treating depression. Botox isnt just for rich old woment trying to look younger by voiding expression. 😑 Less is more.

[@ashjkennedy]

My favourite of your videos to date. I hadn't realised I was holding the phone over my face in bed for over an hour. I was remembering times when I've given and received different micro expressions, etc. Pre ordering her book now!

[@daniellebaker3714]

Love Vanessa, love Chase and Creative Live--what a terrific combo! Thank you, Vanessa for sharing some of your personal journey with us. You're an inspiration!

[@blancanicolasrojas8338]

Danielle Baker o

[@SeanCC1234]

This absolutely blew my mind! So much valuable knowledge to be found. Could pause the video every 20 seconds to process. Keep it up, loving the show!

[@Tcpipx]

I can associate with the conclusions Vanessa brings to the table regarding how each os us chooses their careers or areas of interest. Very enlightening! Great interview!

[@WomanofSubstance]

God, this makes me want to become a behavioural investigator!

[@Delton96]

You can do it!

[@KoriMiller]

Captivate is a great read! I bought the audio and the book. Now I'm listening to it for the second time. Great and useful information. Love this interview!

[@modusponens1094]

Wow, she's fascinating and adorable. Sold.

[@pursuingtruth]

Oh my goodness, this is by far one of my favorite interviews!!! Sooo much information, I could've listen to this conversation for hours. Loved all the tips and tactics shared! Thank you Vanessa and Chase for this interview.

[@JessnT]

WOW... the entire interview amazing and especially the discuss topic.

[@Velly_drums]

This really made me think and examine why I do certain things. Lots of good golden nuggets!! Thank you Chase and Vanessa!

[@RPGetz]

I love Vanessa from her Science of People class on CL! Loved this interview with Chase, too! Great stuff guys, thank you!!

[@symplej]

Chase, this is probably my favourite episode so far on your podcast. I have gone through and replayed thrice. So much knowledge! I had to then listen to Vanessa on 2 other podcasts haha. Keep up the great work man

[@1sihingable]

I never saw your show before. really enjoyed it.

[@carlmumford118]

Watched this twice to be sure not to miss anything. Thanks Chase, Vanessa great video!

[@chriscarter296]

"BLOODLY INCREDIBLE INTERVIEW "

[@felipezago6068]

This is such a great interview, Chase! Vanessa has been one of my top three influencers lately! This video right here has taught me a lot!

[@FairyBoxShop]

Thank you so much for sharing this!

[@timdunk7278]

Great guidance Chase, and now i understand why i'm so hooked on Vanessa. Keep up the great work - just subscribed. Thanks

[@benathungezung8018]

Both of u are such a inspiration and also on top of that a warm soul! 😇

[@feebleh]

The interview was amazing! I think Vanessa is now one of my fave influencers especially in speaking

[@MunaSalehStudio]

LOVE this one! Thank you :)

[@DowniePhotographyCleveland]

What a great video with some powerful insights into how to be a better communicator. The lie spotting techniques were definitely a bonus!

[@DushyantJoshiNewZealand]

Thanks for this :) Respect and best wishes from New Zealand

[@MegLivingInsideOut]

THIS IS INCREDIBLE!!!

[@ugeechikwe1829]

This was so amazing and helpful Thanks Chase . i'm almost crying and watching it cuz i know i will improve my me hence forth

[@Yash-wp1fi]

Wonderful conversation...👍👍

[@jermaineedwards7157]

Got me inspired to go out and study. Just bought the book :)

[@SpoonOfConsciousness]

how is it?

[@TheSamttatze]

pretty great, actually :)

[@lanawebster2078]

Vanessa, extremely helpful...packed with practices to communicate, negotiate. Thank you! And Chase Jarvis, appreciate you bringing fascinating guests! Thank you!

[@BodyEpiphanies]

Excellent job Chase. This is one of the most interesting interviews I have seen on subjects not typically well discussed.

[@meletispix]

Amazing! I took one of her human lie detector courses and it was so enlightening. Great to see her here and learn even more.

[@anangeluiza]

This woman is so smart and charismatic!!!! Love her!

[@Andreitaromano]

BUYING THE BOOK RIGHT AWAY!!!

[@TheZGALa]

THANK YOU! I am getting so much delicious value from this talk! I am aiming to continue to improve my listening and pattern recognition skills be great at communicating in any context.

[@SpoonOfConsciousness]

haha so much delicious value!

[@CallieSYR]

These two :) So good. Informative harmony

[@JessicaHowardTheHowardBrand]

emotional jiu jitsu... so many incredible gems!

[@aciddevil]

Preorderd the book halfway through this interview...Watched Vanessa's CreativeLive class a couple years ago and loved it. Looking forward to the next class!

[@user-xt1hb9wq2p]

Damn she must have read rich dad poor dad, she is good on marketing

[@jessicaaraus8641]

You two are funny! 😂❤. I found so much value in this interview. Following both of you. Thank you so much. :)

[@agentsancho3493]

This is under rated.

[@jemelierodriguez7453]

One of my favorite interviews!

[@ChaseJarvis]

Yes! 🙌🏼

[@SaketM9]

There are so many strings that are connected between us.I almost feel I know the content of your book even without reading it.Its crazy!I mean lie to me got me excited on the same level!Biomimcry of perfection.Taking pride being an introvert is my take away.The fact that you fear being on stage and have overcome it by practice is incredible.Thanks.

[@frankwall1718]

It was a great interview ,educational and often so relatable ,very well done!!

[@johnthomas1224]

Did any1 else get really excited watching this video???😁😁

[@Tangably]

@31:36 A beautiful breakdown of multifaceted consulting services. Great Interview! So well spoken.

[@morelwilliams7133]

This is by faaar the best conversation I've experienced in a while. (An hour of black and white is torture, btw). Thanks for posting!

[@soneldalusmar8667]

I really love watching you on You Tube, your way to speak, your voice is adorable!!!

[@N3ssa212Linda]

1:20 Wow I can't believe I've listened to this video over an hour! She is amazing! So inspirational and interesting! Her passion for human science research is so captivating ! And I'm sucked in!

[@WatchingPlanesnbirds]

Love her!

[@MartineDF314]

Such a ton of value in this interview! WOW, after WOW! Thanks Chase, not only for inspiring us but also with such infectious enthusiasm!!

[@EricGiroux]

Thank you very much Mr Jarvis, the authenticity spiced with passion of your discussion was inspiring.

[@ChaseJarvis]

Humbled! Thx for tuning in 👊🏼

[@DamienLangry]

Once again, amazing interview of an amazing woman. Can you imagine one day put some subtitles on your big interviews ? I'd love to. help me get a bit more the details. Tks anyway for CreativeLive. Damien

[@JamieWhiffen]

Fantastic video Chase and Vanessa! I learned a great deal. :)

[@SpoonOfConsciousness]

as did I!

[@jeffreyzie]

Droppin GEMS

[@ImWORTHITINC]

I believe in being around things and people who energize you too! I got away from toxic people a few years ago and WOW! WHAT A DIFFERENCE! I have so much more energy and joy and creativity and love!! Great stuff guys!!

[@Csmith7561]

My type of gal! Soo knowledgeable

[@hrsey71]

this describes amago therapy. we seek out things and people in our lives to "fix" what we didn't get in early childhood

[@BadtemperedandGrumpy]

This woman is just totally brilliant ..... so much information ..... and so easy to listen to ...... just brilliant ......

[@ChaseJarvis]

Yes!

[@krowleysbox]

OMG this is fantastic stuff. There is hope for all of us :-) I live in Italy where hand gestures are king and have often chided my friends about this - but now... all changed!! Thanks Chase and Vanessa. I will def pick up this book.

[@tristatetuners]

I didn't know who Vanessa was before this but loved this podcast. She's super likable and I feel like I want to be friends with her now (and of course Chase, I want to be friends with you too). Going off to find more of her content to keep consuming, thanks Vanessa and Chase!

[@ChaseJarvis]

Yes, amazing human. Definitely check out this one too: kzbin.info/www/bejne/paG9fmZshpmsfsk

[@Theleadersteacher]

Thank You very much first time here I love it. Thank You

[@ChaseJarvis]

Welcome!

[@ImWORTHITINC]

Chase! It was great meeting you at Summit of Greatness with my boy, Lewis!! I was volunteering. Liberty Justice, I met you and your lovely wife with my sweet lady Jasmine Star! y'all ROCK! Hey, we need Vanessa at the next Summit don't ya think??

[@Messiahandmaster]

This woman is amazing!

[@ChaseJarvis]

She is! Glad you were able to catch this.

[@fernandooliveira4741]

I love It! ❤

[@SpoonOfConsciousness]

yeah!

[@basantabc7536]

She's amazing. Honestly, lots of love from Nepal.❤❤❤❤

[@ChaseJarvis]

💯! You might also like this episode: kzbin.info/www/bejne/kJ_LdZeNZ8Ssjqc

[@joycegifford8826]

I'm late to the show but OMG thank you for making my day. Contempt, oh hell ya... Destroys the workplace without saying a word.

[@jamesnwobu]

I LOOOOVE this. Totally up my lane, and the iThink the very type of ideas I'm hoping to do Ph.D. work in. Thanks Chase!

[@SpoonOfConsciousness]

respect hope it goes well for you

[@pamyes]

You guuuuuuyyyss!!! you had GREAT chemistry 😍😍 Such a fun watch! Lots of new Vanessa stuff. Great job Chase!! Get her back and talk some more!!

[@ChaseJarvis]

thanks for watching. Vanessa is one of the best!

[@cristinajiny3560]

amazing guest and awsome host interesting topic good show lacks only subtitles to make it the best

[@pamburke8614]

Wow! Will be buying the book. Want to know more.

[@user-xt1hb9wq2p]

She is very good advertizer for her Book tho! Smart adorable and u can't get bored with every word comes out of her mouth

[@RB-kv8my]

The MOMENT you said "If you're an Introvert and Entrepreneur and Creative then this video is for you" 30:50 I subscribed and liked this video

[@soccerboiR10]

Chase, love Vanessa, tons of great information. a lot of the Paul Ekman research on universal emotion is now considered outdated. I would love to see you bring on Lisa Feldman Barrett to talk about the new theory of constructed emotion.

[@mustafa2010ism]

Fabulous

[@KarenFerrantelli]

Great interview and I love the black and white!

[@philllove528]

thanks

[@SachinSharma-uz2yp]

Thanks for all the value Chase, I've got a question for you - what's the best way to grow a blog? I'm adding a podcast soon and collaborating with others but wanted some of your suggestions. Thanks again!

[@ChaseJarvis]

write a lot of good stuff. cross post and share w others who are more established. and repeat!

[@SachinSharma-uz2yp]

Thank you so much Chase!

[@manosfrantzeskos3183]

Love her

[@hadleybayley3870]

Hey Vanessa you clearly have those complimenting skills I lack. I am more the thinker, innovator, Inventor type, and not particularly abundant with energy for networking and promoting my ideas. I have enough business ideas to make me a billionaire if only I could break free from a life of no capital and get the ball rolling, it would be a lot easier once I get to a point where I have a team to complete the toolbox I need, In a matter of speaking. At the moment I am feeling the step I need to pursue now, is finding that one charismatic sales person type. Now if you, or anyone you know can just help me on my way to this success I would reward you handsomely for making my dreams come true. And of course I can't leave out that all of these are providing for a need, so it benefits the whole world. I'm only 31 now, and if this can happen for me, I believe I could drastically alter and improve the world for the good. People and the planet.

[@tjd8139]

Thanks for the forum. This episode is very enlightening. I feel like if Vanessa wasn't interrupted as much, more info might have come through. (I think the banter might've been distracting - not always - but early on in the interview) No offense intended at all - just some feedback from an only child too :) Again, thanks for the amazing forum.

[@enatp6448]

Biggest take away for me, breaking up with friends and the time/energy you don't get back. Side note: glad you cited Gottman's contempt research.

[@j.r7872]

Good vid, y'all. Good energy. I notice the ratings: Thousands of thumbs up, 36 thumbs down. Ha!...That smart girl lookin' good, too.

[@joffson]

I really liked this video! I wish english was my first language so I could explain why :) I have read the book and I loved it and I want to Level my social skills UP! Thanks Chase

[@rubydust3837]

Take with grain of salt. No credentials. How accurate is her research?

[@rubydust3837]

She "analyzed" him In the back of a Uber! 😂👌🏼yeah I bet she did!!!

[@joffson]

She gets everything from research, she has help from exprets. I have read her book, all refrences are listed in the acknowledgements.

[@AntMannall]

Amazing content. So many useful tips with great examples. Vanessa's charisma is so engaging, it's hard to understand how she was once Socially awkward but great to know how people can change with this knowledge and social / communication skills.

[@martinapejchal8202]

888

[@alicefremont]

First, thanks so much Chase you are spoiling us. I'm really interested about that hand gesture theory cause most of the time I listen Ted Talks or Chase Jarvis Live more than I watch it, do you think the personality of people with easy hand gesture also resonate in the voice? Does it have something to do with a more active/alive attitude? I would be curious to see the results of a research on the same videos but with the audio only 😃

[@PatriceMorris.]

Vanessa, thank you for for sharing. It sounds as though you may be interested in a tool called Human Design. I am not designed to meet people randomly. I meet people through my network only. The reason being, I only trust people in my network. I am designed to be in a safe environment. Those people in my network, understand who I am. It has changed my life and the way I operate in the world.

[@anitavirginillo]

I learned so much from Vanessa, but I was surprised by how many times she used the word "like".

[@robbysmith7244]

This discussion on emotional intelligence is fascinating! Hearing how mirroring is the pathway to empathy = mind blown. Thank you for sharing +Chase Jarvis!

[@arande3]

Polarity in social interactions. Not generalism or ambivalence. Got it. (Among a whole host of other things.)

[@astrigroth923]

This is So Interresting! Im not a leader or in sales or anything, But this was So Cool! Thanx!

[@ChaseJarvis]

Vanessa has so much wisdom!

[@ScienceOfPeople]

I'm glad you enjoyed watching!

[@nicolelewis-keeber286]

She is also one of my favorite humans

[@blespere]

She has the most beautiful smile.

[@AsafKopla]

Body language is super important. Don't rush/jump into conclusion over one reaction. Look for a pattern. We know how one reacted in this exact moment, we don't know what he was thinking about, or what was that random thought. The average brain process over 10,000 thoughts per day. Brains with higher 'rate' thinks way more.

[@relacionesdeparejapolaridadm]

Great awesome