Best CATHOLIC Jokes Compilation | Jim Gaffigan

Jim Gaffigan's best Catholic jokes compilation! What was your favorite joke from the compilation?
PALE TOURIST is NOW streaming on Amazon
:29 - "The Bible & Rules"
1:00 - "Shiite Catholic"
2:39 - "Confession"
2:57 - "Memorization"
3:08 - "Adam & Eve"
3:26 - "Catholic Mass"
4:09 - "Catholics & Protestants"
4:25 - "Big Families"
5:38 - "Pope"
6:54 - "Saints"
10:12 - "Opening for the Pope"
16:25 - "Holy Grail"
17:18 - "Future Pope"
18:12 - "Reading in Church"
19:09 - "Six Kids Catholic"
20:13 - "Barely Catholic"
BEST of / FUNNIEST COMPILATION
Animals bit.ly/AnimalsC...
Fast Food bit.ly/FastFood...
Jesus bit.ly/JesusComp
Donuts bit.ly/JGDonuts
HEALTHY & HAPPY with HEATH HORNER
INTRO bit.ly/Happyand...
CORN bit.ly/Happyand...
THE PALE TOURIST
Asian American (Full Set)- bit.ly/JGAsian...
Florida Man (Full Set)- bit.ly/JGFlori...
Run with Bulls bit.ly/JGRunwi...
Ontario vs Quebec bit.ly/JGOntario
Spanish Superstitions bit.ly/JGSuper...
Canadian Map bit.ly/JGCanad...
Tapas bit.ly/JGTapas
Moose bit.ly/JGMoose
Tourists bit.ly/JGTourist
Halifax Donair bit.ly/JGDonair
Rodeo bit.ly/JGRodeo
Drake Story bit.ly/JGDrake
QUALITY TIME
Marathons bit.ly/JGMarat...
Horses bit.ly/JGHorses
Appendix bit.ly/JGAppendix
Museums bit.ly/JGMuseum
Lying bit.ly/JGLying
Dog Birthdays bit.ly/JGDogBi...
NOBLE APE:
Japan vs China bit.ly/JGJapan
My Wife's Brain Tumor bit.ly/JGBrain...
Massages & Saunas bit.ly/JGMassage
Pope bit.ly/JGPope
UK vs US bit.ly/JGUSAvC...
CINCO
Morning Person bit.ly/JGMorning
Fish are Gross bit.ly/JGFishG...
Steak is Manly bit.ly/JGSteak
Hiking bit.ly/JGHiking
Idiot Abroad bit.ly/JGIdiot...
OBSESSED
Bars: bit.ly/JGBars
Weddings bit.ly/JGWeddi...
Victoria's Secret bit.ly/JGSecret
Seafood bit.ly/JGSeafood
Donuts bit.ly/JGDonutsg
MR. UNIVERSE
Vitamins bit.ly/JGVitamins
Whales bit.ly/JGWhales
Fitness Goals bit.ly/JGFitne...
Home Birth bit.ly/JGHomeb...
Disney bit.ly/JGDisney
KING BABY
Jesus & Apostles bit.ly/JGJesus
Camping bit.ly/JGCamping
Bacon bit.ly/JGBacon
Fried Chicken bit.ly/JGFrien...
Waffle House bit.ly/JGWaffl...
BEYOND THE PALE
Hot Pockets bit.ly/JGHotPo...
I'm Korean bit.ly/JGKorean
Doing Nothing bit.ly/JGDoing...
Out To Dinner bit.ly/JGOutTo...
Cake bit.ly/JGCakes
SUPER OLD
Manatee bit.ly/JGManatee
Caroline's Comedy Hr bit.ly/JGCarol...
Glasses bit.ly/JGGLasses
MERCH Proceeds donated to ThelmagineSociety.org tinyurl.com/y5...
LETS GET COOKIN' World’s Favorite Quarantine Cooking Show
Toast bit.ly/JGToast
Burger bit.ly/JGBurger
Pork bit.ly/JGPork
Hotdog & Eggs bit.ly/JGHotDogs
Oatmeal Soup bit.ly/JGOatmeal
Garbage Plate bit.ly/JGGarba...
Chicken Fillet bit.ly/JGChick...
KC BBQ bit.ly/JGKansa...
Bacon Wrapped Steaks bit.ly/JGBacon...
THE MIKE & PAT SHOW: (the next Pewdiepie or Roblox addicts challenge)
Daddy Dog bit.ly/JGDaddyDog
Hot Pocket bit.ly/JGMPHot...
Spaghettios bit.ly/JGSPagh...
Liverwurst bit.ly/JGLiver...
Twinkies bit.ly/JGTwinkies
Fluff bit.ly/JGFluff
Vegemite bit.ly/JGVegimite
MY KIDS REACT
My Kids React my 1st Stand Up TV Spot • "MY KIDS REACT: To My ...
My Kids React my 1st Stand Up Special • "MY KIDS REACT: To My ...
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JIM EATS THE WORLD (mukbang asmr local food)
St.Louis Pizza bit.ly/JimEats...
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Garbage Plate bit.ly/JGGarba...
Polish Boy bit.ly/JGPolis...
Spain bit.ly/JGSpain...
Colombia bit.ly/JGColombia
Paella bit.ly/JGPaella
PALE FORCE w/ Conan O'brien - • "Pale Force" - Jim Ga...
CORONAVIRUS LIFE (Try not to laugh+ CBS SUNDAY)
Welcome to Quarantine • “Greetings from Quaran...
My Kids Ask Covid-19 • "MY KIDS ASK: About CO...
Pandemic CBS Sunday Morning Mega Compilation • Jim Gaffigan CBS Sunda...
TEXT JIM 646-980-6600
Jim Gaffigan is an American stand-up comedian, actor, writer and producer. He presently has 5 stand up specials on Netflix and 3 on Amazon Prime Video. He wrote 2 New York Times Best Sellers DAD IS FAT and FOOD: A Love Story He co-created and starred in a tv series based on his life called The Jim Gaffigan Show. He has appeared in numerous TV shows and films in both comedic and dramatic roles.

[@Justice_Levens]

I'm catholic, and it's always fun when someone can poke fun at something without hate. Much respect 🙏

[@roseymalino9855]

No hate in referring to Irish as degenerates.

[@kichigan1]

Me, too.

[@karelfinn2343]

One of my favorite jokes is when Jim led into his Catholic material by saying, "I want to make sure everyone feels comfortable, so that's why I'd to talk to you about Jesus."

[@Chicken_Wing91]

“He-he better not” 😂

[@cv507]

ketzöDix dönt get kännzerr... säy gett trinüttea XxD öld indjän jöke v v

[@janetpfaff9470]

Q

[@msbirdsong77]

😂😂😂😂😂YES!

[@sharonellzey8413]

​@@Chicken_Wing91+@x

[@vjohnson6464]

This is how you know he's the best comedian. I start watching and realize I've already heard this one and still keep on listening. Love ya Jim!! Thanks for cheering up the quarantine.

[@tdbarton7712]

Same!

[@ziggyzion5717]

Me too! They never get old and it makes me feel better

[@globetrekker86]

@Vickie Johnson: Absolutely. Jim could play the same set of jokes on a loop, and I’d still be rolling. His * inner heckler * voice is priceless

[@curtisyost5247]

Love Jim as well the catholic faith. I've kept them like a nice practice Grateful

[@curtisyost5247]

I make it a point. I love to learn even though I've lived some but they're always true

[@hyacinthlynch843]

"I'm an Episcopal, which is Catholic Lite. It's like...same religion, half the guilt." -- Robin Williams

[@steverichardson8080]

Live on Broadway, 2002. Great performance by the late great Mr Williams

[@Kitiwake]

And half the truth

[@maxfan1591]

@@Kitiwake "And half the truth" If you're trying for humour, leave it to someone who's funny. And if you're trying for pious commentary, well, leave it to someone who's funny.

[@johnnations5932]

"I was Catholic until reached the Age of Reason." - George Carlin

[@sherrynusbaum5913]

Ahhhhhh, that Catholic guilt! Lol

[@modom2001]

I’m a Catholic and I love your humor!

[@amjPeace]

I'm from a big Catholic family, third of 12 children. We had twice as many kids as the Waltons and half as much peace and kindness. Seriously, we loved each other very much and had each other's backs when the chips were down. Except we didn't have any chips because they were too expensive. Goodnight, Jim-Bob!

[@natewalton3838]

my last nam,e is walton and im one of 6 so yes you have 2x the amount of siblings I have

[@amjPeace]

Nate Walton Goodnight, Nate-Bob!

[@angeloacosta9411]

I'm 7 of 9... Lots of hand me downs and very little money for anything else. Stay strong & healthy...

[@angeloacosta9411]

@@helenhighwater5313 yeah my friend laughs about that !!!

[@tangenty6987]

@@helenhighwater5313 😂

[@skisunvalley66]

I'm 53 years old and I just discovered you tonight due to a Twitter post that showed up in my timeline. I've been watching your videos for several hours now. OMG, so funny. You are my new-found favorite comedian. Sharing with everyone I know. Favorite joke from this compilation? "If you've never been to a Catholic Mass, it's still going on." And I can laugh at all of this because I'm Catholic! Well done, Jim! Cheers

[@RicardoGarcia-kv8it]

No nooo a Catholic mass is easy compared to the Pentecostal evangelical services where I go lol I want to gooo back pls rescue me JajajaJA!!! I am done with JajajaJA I spoke in tongues I am done ready to go back lol

[@kayfitzgerald309]

@jimgaffigan Jim I watched you & ur fam at dinner live last night,,I LOVE LOVE LOVE JEANNE!!! U...ah'ight😉✝️😊luv u too & the kids keep up the great work, btw, one more kid would be a nice round number... Jus saying...ya' know to really keep you & the Mrs. young in your golden years!!! Think about it...🥰

[@Dachdogoriginal]

Another brilliant clean comedian is Brian Regan. Especially his "I walked on the Moon" special. I highly recommend. Usually you have to watch it a few times because you're laughing so much you can't hear it all.

[@zippydooda]

@@Dachdogoriginal Brian is great. One of favorites.

[@JackDanyaKemplin]

I am the second to youngest of 12 children, my father named me after his favourite whiskey and my sister Sara after his favourite brand of desserts-this is the absolute truth. So my dad definitely got burned out.

[@shirleyrombough8173]

Oh I see: Jack Daniels and Sara Lee? Just be glad he didn't start on ice cream brands. No Hagen Dasz. But if he had two more boys they could be Ben and Jerry. Yum.

[@bikinijeanie1963]

She is named Ruth BC she's the baby of the group and a girl? Baby Rooof? Wait a minute bass where's the baby and the dog would always say

[@bikinijeanie1963]

Who's the baby? The dog has answer answered already got the house he already answered both questions the baby and what's on top the house all both of them at the same time the dog says Roof. How does mommy like it? Ruff...

[@julianarodriguex899]

Your DAD definitely got burned out?!?!

[@Tmanaz480]

Kemplin's is my favorite Bourbon.

[@maureendrozda9960]

Only Catholics Can Truly Appreciate This One, Jim! Thanks!🤗🙏

[@bkh5746]

Catholic religion is horrible.the people worship the priests and keep them from prosecution. I know a guy who blew out his brains in church parking lot bc the priest used to use him like a woman.thats no joke either.guy had all he could take.its trash and its bad for you.

[@ee.eeEugEnEeee.eaQ7carrnvaehEQ]

Only? HahahaYou're a Funny one Gal, MissedDoor

[@joesoap1401]

Many non Catholics have been to Catholic church services. It's the evangelical ones that I avoid.

[@ccrbonline1752]

And those of us who have 8 Catholic cousins - from one uncle.😅

[@052381ma]

I'm not a catholic and I find this funny😅

[@bobpancake7482]

The difference between a catholic and a baptist is the catholic will say Hi to you at the liquor store

[@LeslieLanagan]

I've heard a variation of that joke............. Protestants do not recognize The Pope as the head of the Christian Church. Jews do not recognize Jesus as The Messiah...... and two Baptists don't recognize each other at the liquor store.

[@gabrielacanseco7851]

jajajjajajaja

[@dourtandouar1318]

@@gial8862 But they say no women pastors and no openly gay pastors, the same as Baptists.

[@richardjoiner7542]

Re rant. Adios Kemosabi.

[@dafrasier1]

@@gial8862 Celibacy is a Money Making Scheme. No wife or children; that the Church has to take care of, pay for, give land to. Like eating Fish on Friday; a money making Kick back scheme.

[@mangot589]

My favorite Catholic joke ever. Especially since the woman telling me was a 90 year old Catholic serious churchgoer. Every day serious. So, this guy dies. And is taking a tour of heaven. His angel guide is showing him around, and says in this room, we have the Protestants, and over here we have the Jewish. Then we have the Baptists there. (Dropping to a whisper) But we have to be super quiet when we pass by this area. So the newly dead guy asks why. And the guide says, “Because they think they’re the only ones up here”.🤫

[@PutinsMommyNeverHuggedHim]

Love it!!!!

[@befunkrn]

Very good! And I attend a Southern Baptist church!

[@owlnyc666]

😅

[@susanivey8853]

An Irish priest told us this joke in his delightful accent, on a religious retreat 40 years ago. He drew the joke out with details and talk of St Peter, and had us howling!

[@Jobotubular]

I heard it as a fenced-off area for the Christians, and the dead guy was atheist. So evidently it's possible to make a Christian joke into an atheist joke

[@sirtalkalotdoolittle]

I worked with a wonderful nun who used to rely on St. Anthony, patron saint of lost objects, when she misplaced something. "St. Anthony, I can't find my keys!" she would say and then laugh. But she always found her keys, and now I, a non-Christian, call upon St. Anthony on occasion and think of Sister Arlene (who would have been a helluva Pope, BTW).

[@lisaburke8232]

Or, this version my sister says which works almost all of the time, “Tony, Tony, look around. Something’s lost and must be found!”

[@dafrasier1]

Religious Insanity. Tuam Babies. 800 dead Catholic Children dumped in sewer pits by wonderful Conservative Irish Catholic Nuns.

[@Phooie]

@@lisaburke8232 that's funny! 😊

[@euricequeen842]

Same! I can always rely on St. Anthony. ❤

[@claudiabeasley3227]

Jim is a great comic. He's so on point and most importantly he's a clean comic. Funny without using vulgar language. One of the best!! Love ya, Jim!!!

[@girlcheck]

I listen to you every night before going to bed, Jim. Thank you for giving me a laugh and making it so I go to bed in joy. Lost my mom last year. You have been a godsend to me during one of the hardest times in my life. Thank you 😊

[@margochristensen7440]

Love Jim. As a person raised catholic, these seem funnier to me than it probably should be.

[@dylanjones268]

It doesn't matter if your are catholic, another religion or an atheist. Jim is funny, its as simple as that.

[@margochristensen7440]

@@dylanjones268 of course it didn't matter. Gaffigan is brilliant. I just meant that it was funnier to me becuz of my upbringing...and his too.

[@MrAquinas1]

@@margochristensen7440 Infantile insults to human dignity are not funny and not the product of "brilliance."

[@dickon728]

Sorry. Jews are way funnier.

[@margochristensen7440]

@@MrAquinas1 I dont have a clue what you're taking about.

[@akeeperofoddknowledge4956]

Hilarious, Jim! I'm a Christian on the Protestant side and my two of my three sisters are Catholic. I've been to almost as many Catholic services as Protestant - I got the jokes! Thanks for the laughs!

[@rexrocker1268]

My mom Catholic my father Protestant. He didn’t worship but sometimes my mother would drag him to church on holidays. He would like fall asleep, or fart and me and my big brother would have to hold back the laughter, as did my father. He was a nut nut.

[@remaguire]

I'm Irish Catholic. Both my parents born and raised in Ireland. When I was a kid, my sister and I went to NYC with our aunt, our father's sister and she brought us to an Episcopalian service. But not before she made us promise that we wouldn't tell our parents that we did. Attitudes sure have changed since the early 60s! I still chuckle when I think about that.

[@akeeperofoddknowledge4956]

@@remaguire times certainly have changed!

[@marshawalker5273]

And I've probably been to as many Protestant services as Catholic. We're good😁

[@helengorton894]

​

[@johnb639]

God Bless (and Protect) you and your family Jim Gaffigan

[@rp5707]

@julie jones - Are you intentionally leaving out that the bill he supports is only for late term abortions where severe abnormalities and where the life of the mother is in danger, or are just uninformed yourself?

[@brettpruefer7541]

@julie jones trump puts children in cages, you cannot support him and be a Christian.

[@dafrasier1]

Man Created God. Amen. mcg-truth blogspot

[@or2ak]

LOL

[@CarlHammer]

I'm not catholic. Never wanted to be, but all my friends are catholic. I have attended mass many times though. Jim is the only one who can talk about it and NOT offend anyone. Nice job.

[@josephking7674]

Very few comedians keep me laughing throughout their comedy routine like Jim does. He kills me!

[@maryallan3982]

I'm the oldest of five; my Dad was 2nd oldest of 12 (...Irish Catholic). Anything along those lines has me in hysterics! Thank You, My Friend!

[@lucillearthmann1305]

I love this guy. Saw him back in Jan. 2020 and he was hilarious. Good, clean fun. Nothing wrong with that. He was fabulous. Loved our garbage plates.

[@pcopps4505]

When I was a kid in the 90s I tried to watch stand-up comedy with my Dad to see if he'd like any of them. He was a huge Jonathan Winters fan, and didn't really like anything I showed him with the exception of Jim Gaffigan. He especially loved the Catholic jokes, and his favorite was the joke about parents bragging that their kid was Pope, and the one about the kid playing "Pope" in the backyard (My favorite part of this bit is not in this compilation though, "The protestants are frightened of this new Pope"). Wish I could show him your new stuff. Thanks for the laughs, Jim.

[@ginagold42631]

#God Pocket. Jim Gaffigan is curing my depression. I've binge watched him for 2 days and I cannot stop laughing. I haven't laughed this much in years. I feel great. Of course depression is serious and this is not meant to suggest otherwise. I thought I'd try laughter instead of ice cream. Thx Jim.

[@janniechoquette8828]

Listen to his story about vacation in Alaska with his family 😂. It's a true story 🤣

[@harpinpoem]

I agrée! Me too! Another great catholic comedian is Kathleen Madigan. Her routine about the nuns admonishing her not to “bother Jesus” is hilarious. Watch funny stuff over and over instead of the bad news.

[@micro-babe]

I went to Catholic school for 13 years and I always loved your standup even back then. Relatable as heck. Non Catholics don't truly understand me when I say Easter Vigil is a lesson in endurance.

[@nowvoyagerNE]

i'm not catholic and i know that a sunday sermon is a lesson in endurance...and an aerobic workout.

[@mackenziesinger8926]

@@mwidunn our Easter vigil mass was 3hrs long…

[@mwidunn]

@@mackenziesinger8926 . . . and, yet, I'm sure you'll find, that is not the typical situation in Catholic churches on Holy Saturday.

[@enigmaticallyso]

@@mwidunn Ours is also about 3 hours.

[@mwidunn]

@@enigmaticallyso . . . by the way, still doing it ONCE per year is not really a lesson in endurance, is it?

[@ForteCatholic]

I love the catholic jokes! Keep em coming. I’m a catholic and love joking about it too :)

[@Crimethoughtfull]

Reminds me of the Dara O Briain joke about "even an atheist is just a bad Catholic".

[@roberthsu1748]

I am also... But I have NEVER heard SO MANY jokes. LOL!! All TRUE, lol!! I loved the joke about Pope John Paul II./St. John Paul the Great!! What was ur favorite?

[@sdwilson764]

I know you've been doing these daily uploads for awhile, but since I just discovered them a couple days ago, I want to thank you. Quarantining, diminished work, pandemics, and virtual schooling has been [fill in blank]. I so appreciate the little reprieve and bursts of laughter these provide.

[@janjacobs5650]

Thank you Jim! This pandemic has stifled laughing but your comedy routines restores my laughter every day. Love it!

[@ejm57301]

I love my Catholic friends when I need a hand with say... a roof / drywall / concrete project.... just ask them... it's like they HAVE to help you... my Dad called it the Catholic Guilt... they gotta help their neighbors... even the Methodists.

[@NoudlePipW]

You wanna see some serious Catholic Guilt, have sex with someone from Ireland. Even the Atheists here have Catholic Guilt 🤣

[@NoudlePipW]

@Michele Carter We really don't have as many redheads as people think...

[@Kitiwake]

Are you laughing at them?

[@Kitiwake]

@@NoudlePipW you need a brain transparent.

[@NoudlePipW]

@@Kitiwake 🤣 I'd rather not have a transparent brain like yours, thanks.

[@MaryOKC]

I’ve been in a mood for the past week so I’ve been binging on your videos last night and for the past few hours; and Jim, you’ve lightened my mood so much that the dark cloud has passed. Thank you for making me laugh again and again.

[@GenXersJustWalkItOff]

One time, when my grandmother and I were going to Confession before Easter for the first time since Christmas (LOL, Catholics will get that), she told me she was WORRIED because she only had one sin to tell Father: she had dropped a jar of pickles and said “G-d damn!” I told her I was sure she could think of a couple more if she thought really hard.

[@PutinsMommyNeverHuggedHim]

Lol if I can’t think of anything then I can just say “the sin of pride, believing myself to be perfect!”

[@wrr1218]

My mother was a big Catholic... I am pretty sure she used to make up Holy Days just so I would have to go to church.

[@buggymah]

There are a lot of holy days of obligation. For example I think there’s a solemnity on august 15

[@bellanitocortez-rodriguez9235]

🤣

[@Sweendogization]

How big was she?

[@nickinurse6433]

Of course your mom was Catholic O'leary....lol

[@andrewmcgregor9691]

lol

[@mrslvw]

Your morality is authentic and I appreciate you so much! Keeping speaking your mind. I'm not on Twitter but agree with you 100%.

[@tr33trunk85]

Thank you Jim, for getting out of your comfort zone and speaking truth to power! I am really heartened to see someone so non-political say enough is enough and try to pull people away from facism. You just gained a subscriber.

[@mmc1730]

I guess you're okay with the peaceful protesters that executed a "Trumper" last night in Portland because enough is enough and he should have been on the side of the party of tolerance

[@tr33trunk85]

@@mmc1730 umm... Do you know what the words peaceful protester mean?

[@tr33trunk85]

@@mmc1730 also, a trump supporter shot three protesters in Kenosha the otherday and killedtwo of them. Funny how you don't bring that up

[@mmc1730]

@@tr33trunk85 umm do you know the meaning of sarcasm? You should watch just about anyone of the news networks that report from these riot scenes and call them peaceful protests as buildings burn in the background. And the shooter you refer to was not there as part of any pro Trump statement. I don't support what he did but he stated that he was there because he wanted to help a store owner that was desperate to not see his store looted and burned. He was also offering first aid to anyone regardless of affiliation because he was trained as a medic.

[@mmc1730]

Again, no defense of what that kid did but not everyone that is against seeing cities destroyed is a Trump supporter

[@LoriVFenske]

Poor St. Bonaventure!😂😂😂 These bits made us laugh so hard we couldn’t breathe! ❤😂😂😂

[@Ender7j]

I still appreciate the work you did for us during the pandemic. Thanks Jim!

[@jakrispy3418]

How is it possible that Jim Gaffigan looks better now than he did on that Comedy Central stand-up special years ago. The man ages like fine wine

[@slendveny7191]

Maybe he killed the other Jim.

[@wendi2819]

He actually has more hair now. Still trying to figure that out.

[@Nestor123057]

@@wendi2819 I think it's called hair implants. It was a good idea.

[@mikemaxwell7053]

Me and my five kids are part of the the "Latter-Day Saints for Gafffigan" crowd. And we loved the RNC Convention Twitter tirade. Keep it coming Jim! ;-)

[@dafrasier1]

Daybell, Zombies and LDS, Mormons. great group. Do not starch your magic underwear.

[@Gcwbigs]

Hey d******, quit making the rest of us look stupid. You're not helping

[@dafrasier1]

@@Gcwbigs ?? Catholics and LDS Mormons; make Humanity look stupid.

[@DanGolik]

Jim, you’re amazing! Thank you for all the comedy, I watch with my teenager kids and they love you.

[@tomparker8932]

Gaffigan is possibly the wittiest (not a word?) comedian alive. Jokes are clean, to the point and honestly i think ANYONE can relate to. Having a great wife and kids rounds him out. A merry heart doeth good like a medicine. Thanx for that man!

[@karphin1]

I like his humour, clean and really funny. He does tongue in cheek stuff about his faith. And everyday life. I love that!

[@Pulpgimp]

After looking at Jim’s KZbin analytics over the last couple days, it turns out all those people who said they were unsubscribing did not unsubscribe.

[@youtube-ventura]

I did.

[@Pulpgimp]

youtube ventura.nu but you’re back to his latest video giving it a view and comments.

[@toddb930]

How do you look at a KZbin channel analytics?

[@dlxmarks]

Maybe they're still figuring out how to unsubscribe.

[@stanw909]

I sort of expect such things from artistic types. If I canceled everyone who has a different political belief than me , I wouldn't be able to enjoy anything. He made a little quip in his Canadian show about our president (didn't say Trump's name ) being a child and it passed rather quickly so I was able to enjoy the rest of the show. If he had gone on and on about it,I would have just turned it off. I'm a performer and would never subject my audiences to politics. People go to shows to escape from all that stuff. I wish Jim well and hope he can separate comedy from politics.

[@Sdr4813]

I don’t Tweet but do Tube. I wanted to express my support of your comments on Twitter. Keep speaking and keep up the comedy. I support you with both.

[@tr33trunk85]

@@mindofmayhem. Hey genius, 3 people thatwere protesting an unlawful killing by the police were just shot by some rightwing nutjob in Kenosha. Two of them died. The Orange Turd refuses tocondem the killer.

[@gent8940]

T-Shirt idea: Make America Gaffigan! :)

[@thehbomb9598]

I want this shirt!

[@contessajones5619]

That’s funny!!

[@detroitwarrior888]

Just so you know-he just came out, full libtard and bashing Trump, with a bunch of lies and nonsense. Clearly listens to fake news, and researches nothing, poor guy. Bye Gaffigan, you lost a fan (and all my family)...you’re entitled to your own opinion, but NOT your own facts! #TRUMP2020

[@gent8940]

@@detroitwarrior888 Yes, that's why we love him. What did you think he was all this time? There's no such thing as a funny conservative.

[@pfswafa]

@@detroitwarrior888 Cult 45 Covidiot....

[@1jesus2music3duke]

“The test of a religion is if you can joke about it.” -Chesterton, Catholic

[@scottydouglass1892]

I laughed at all of your jokes. My wife, who is Catholic, not as much.

[@davidmmm8]

Wives tend to side with whatever entity that allowed for the creation of their babies. And most innocent women turn to God. Just absolutely amazed they become.

[@richardharris8538]

Scotty, it's best not ever to laugh at one's wife.

[@scottydouglass1892]

@@richardharris8538 Only when she is not there.

[@sewingintrifocals-alisonde7778]

@@philipmartin2919 , great show, that (Fr. Ted).

[@evangelineholseberg2631]

@@philipmartin2919 I

[@joalblo9581]

Jim you're one of my favorite comedians ever. Wishing you and the Gaffigan clan the best!!!

[@theresapalkovitz3414]

I’m a cradle Catholic from Philadelphia. Hilarious! Keep ‘em coming!

[@patriciahopey1384]

When I was 5 years old and up till maybe 10 year old , Mass was in Latin .I still remember the words .3cheers from Canada

[@pfranks75]

Patricia Hopey Dominoes and biscuits!

[@geraldfrost4710]

@@pfranks75 Dominoes, Orieos, and NaaaaaBiiiisco!

[@TheRakuman]

Latin… because the Catholic leaders don’t want you to read the Bible. It in truth, exposes all their hypocrisy. Have you ever had a catholic priest encourage you to read the Bible? Oh, I’ll answer that for you, no!

[@herrschmidt412]

@@TheRakuman I mean...my Priest is constantly telling people to form Bible study groups and read the Bible but if you say so I guess

[@emiliadavis8247]

@@TheRakuman Sadly, no. I grew up Catholic, but left as an older teenager when saved and born again in an Assemblies of God summer camp. It was like night and day! An immediate desire to read my Bible, christian books, tell others about Christ.....discovered christian radio.....My immediate response going to a Catholic mass a couple weeks later, was, wow, these people don't know what they're missing. They don't know Christ. So very sad.

[@theoak64]

You get more exercise on Sunday than you do any other day of the week. Stand up sit down kneel, stand up sit down kneel ,stand up sit down kneel.

[@wrongwayconway]

Your daily videos really helped me get through this pandemic. ❤

[@mlsaulnier]

I loved Jim just chatting with Jesus.

[@ChuckMock3826]

Whether you are Catholic or not, THIS STUFF IS BRILLIANT!!!

[@nowvoyagerNE]

i've never been a catholic but i am recovering from marriage to a catholic. that ought to be worth a couple of points.

[@mwidunn]

Yeah, . . .no. Gaffigan is as funny as the Permanent Deacon doing a set for the annual "Doo-wop Dinner & Dance" at the KofC Hall.

[@plutobeliever]

Jim, you're a man of integrity...thank you for being a voice of morality...you brighten my day...

[@patrickmanley4943]

Love love love this guy. So funny 😂. As a lapsed Catholic I totally relate.

[@kathleenferguson3296]

I'm a collapsed Catholic!

[@jamesc7277]

I am 66 years old. When I was young, the Catholic mass was over an hour…with a lot if Latin, and the priest had his back to the congregation for a lot of it. Last time I went to mass (about 25 years ago) it was less than 45 minutes (maybe 30-ish), and the priest spoke only English and faced the congregation throughout…and they expected you to shake hands with the person next to you.

[@johnplunkett6864]

Come on back

[@at_brunch3852]

Yeah. That was weird. Then covid hit. 🆘

[@christopheromahony5526]

Trying to hide some facts in with the humor I see. Ireland's official national color is a shade called St.Patrick's blue. Look it up! Jim's been doing his research. St. Patrick's blue is used on many Irish government symbols and banners.

[@tintinismybelgian]

I thought St. Patrick was from England or Wales, not Italy.

[@christopheromahony5526]

@@tintinismybelgian and St. George wasn't English, so?

[@tintinismybelgian]

@@christopheromahony5526 Well, a big part of the St. Patrick biography is the idea that he grew up in Britain before being kidnapped by Irish slavers. If he was from Italy, then the Irish slavers would have a hard time kidnapping him, geographically speaking.

[@tintinismybelgian]

@@christopheromahony5526 kzbin.info/www/bejne/rXnVYWWLZrSMjM0 (Funny St. Patrick video)

[@Batchall_Accepted]

Huh. I've never heard this and I grew up there

[@kaiyack]

You’re awesome, Jim!

[@donnamirabito5544]

"Let's wrap it up. I got some sinnin' to do!" We're gonna sing all 12 verses of the hymn. In Latin, then English. :)

[@szqsk8]

Donna Mirabito In Latin and English. Been there/done that. It's the longest day of your life, especially if it a High Mass.

[@factsoverfiction7826]

Lol! For some reason I hear Brian Regan gregorian chanting 🎶 "Pahhhnncaaakes"🎶🤔

[@davidmmm8]

I always wonder how the Jewish Jesus could ever jive with Indians Gods and Chinese Gods... etc etc Total mismatch there. 🤓😇🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

[@Kitiwake]

Yeah... Coz Jesus spoke English, Right?

[@Kitiwake]

@@davidmmm8 "Because they're is only one God. and all the gods of the gentiles are demons" Psalm 95:5 Douay Rheims bible.

[@warrencolegrove1]

One of the greatest comedians of all time!

[@katewojo]

Thank You St. Jim - these are Hilarious!

[@missepnut]

Love you and your family. Please keep posting!

[@redrooster1908]

Hey Jim. I just saw your latest tweets. You are a great man!

[@devodavis6454]

I'm with you, he nailed it!

[@chkchrycla]

@@trevormatthews8374 If that is what you grasped from his tweets then you are an idiot.

[@RobertFallon]

OM*! A joke about St. Bonaventure! He’s my man. You can’t get a card or a medal or anything of Bonaventure. All kinds of saints you never heard of, patrons of drunks, cancer patients, garden veggies-they all have little medallions and statues and cards. But even if Bonaventure ain’t got bling, he now has a joke. Jim Gaffigan, you’re one of a kind. Thank you for making the Lockdown less of a downer with all of your videos.

[@roisinobrien8408]

There's a college named St Bonaventure.

[@awkwardlyrachel5524]

Now I know who to appeal to for those issues.

[@Mementomorichild]

lol that joke came on just as i got to your comment

[@anneholden9908]

I'm the youngest of 7 in a catholic family. 18 years younger than my only sister! And, yes, I am spoiled! I'm 60 now,but I'm still spoiled! And I love it! These jokes were great! Thank you!

[@mage1439]

Jim, not only are you insanely funny but you seem like an awesome guy.

[@RudieObias]

I'm a Catholic and this is HILARIOUS!! Haha!

[@sambeach2726]

I went to a catholic wedding once which included a full nuptial mass. It was like a diversion from the wedding ceremony. Even Catholics not invited to the wedding wandered in off the street to take part.

[@harryfaber]

All are invited to all services in every church, and a wedding mass is special, so for that matter are baptisms and 'first communion' services.

[@gabriellesullivan4772]

Catholism means all welcome, a used to be friend of mine always has derogatory comments about RC knowing I was one. He said the priest in mass always crapped on other religions , what a crock. Have been to many cathedrals and churches ,and other religions.. moving on Jim is hilarious..thanks for the laughs 😊

[@matthewsequoyah2665]

You’re killing me ! ! 🤣🤣🤣 With laughter. You’re the funniest comedian ever, my kids LOVE you 😃

[@regisatlas]

his jokes on religion are my favorite

[@kathleenferguson3296]

I have a "nun clicker" used at mass when we were kids, to make us stand up, sit down and kneel on cue. I use mine to wreak havoc at Christmas midnight mass, and at funerals. I can get people jumping up and down on a click!

[@kateyare4708]

I've been through the WHOLE Catholic experience, and I clicked "like" before you were finished introducing this video.

[@clarissasandoval5356]

Making jokes about being Catholic and sticking to the new video every day during the seemingly never-ending pandemic. God Bless ya, Jim.

[@c.a.durbin8713]

I enjoyed your jokes about patron saints of whatever- definitely more of those!!!

[@marybarry2230]

Having been brought up Irish Catholic gone to three Catholic schools and wore three different Catholic uniforms I can definitely relate with everything Jim says!

[@garrettjackson913]

"Did I go to Wendy's twice yesterday?" Lol!!! He must have one hell of a gall bladder

[@pamelamusante5343]

Cover that up with Carmel, then get back to me. Love the Apple joke😂😂😂😂

[@davidevelyn530]

Five kids? You really are a Catholic. Great mind. You've made me laugh more than anyone. Glad my hernia is healing well.

[@gloriacox2693]

I wore a CATHOLIC T-shirt to pick up my Thanksgiving pumpkin pie; an elderly lady toward the end of the line, walked around to get a good look at the front of my T-shirt, and said, “Oh, CAT HOLIC” ...I was shocked, told her I was allergic to cats.... it actually was a funny, awkward situation.. True story..

[@Mary200-61]

Was raised in a catholic family, went to catholic school for 12 years. I’m crying 😂😂😂😂😂😂 these were truly THEE BEST Catholic jokes ever!!!

[@ERMEGE]

I just discovered these jokes today (11 Aug 2022). My wife came to see why I was laughing so loud. I am a Catholic, and like to joke about it with my fellow Lutherans, Presbyterians, Anglicans, etc. with whom I work on ecumenical humanitarian initiatives. Thanks for giving us these fresh new jokes.

[@jorgeguanche5327]

Donde vives...en un santuario hippie???

[@marthaolson11]

You’re an excellent comedian! Thank you for sharing!

[@11UncleBooker22]

I will continue to enjoy your comedy.

[@jaredadams5748]

@ you're a dumbass

[@brettpruefer7541]

@ No one asked you, go back to Fox news.

[@naverno]

Jim Gaffigan is the best comedian today.

[@janetolson147]

I’m Catholic and I Love your jokes

[@porterbrass]

The best thing about Jim is he laughs mostly at himself. He’s awesome.

[@Rikenglebert7558]

YOU ARE AMAZING! Loved you before your tweets & love you more now!

[@patrickn8355]

"Did I go to Wendy's twice yesterday?"

[@michellejohnson5116]

That one-liner is gold.

[@aging80sbaby]

Ride or Die fan Jim! Love you and your lovely family God bless yal!

[@timothymulholland7905]

I was raised by a Baptist minister. I used to envy my Catholic friends. They could go to early mass on Sunday and have the rest of their day off. I had to go to Sunday School, Morning Service, Youth Group and Evening Service. No time to relax at all.

[@brendaconkling3762]

And don't forget Wednesday Training Union and preaching again AND 2 week revivals

[@billgrandone3552]

Best story I've heard lately: "You know, I used to believe in the miracle of the loaves and fishes until I realized that Campbell's can get 10.000 cans of noodle soup out of one chicken.

[@WitchyCharlie]

“Let’s wrap it up I got some sinnin’ to do!” 😆😆😆🤣

[@rosannacline4781]

😅😅

[@msfair3625]

Love you Jim, hope you're doing well, too.

[@RaysofLight98]

@3:36 I love that he mentions that XD "It's still going on!" Yep- there's even a group of nuns that have Eucharistic Adoration covered 24/7.

[@michelletavakoli]

I’m Definately “ a Shiate Catholic. But we have the best sense of humor around. You’re the best Jim. You married a Shiate Catholic after all. Love you. You’re very brave Jim. Yes you are great husband you have 5 kids already. You’re on Gods good boy list ❤️

[@HTub-bo2yl]

God is love and He has a great sense of humor❤

[@deb1000001]

not catholic, but best joke i heard, (fill in blanks yourself), priest, bishop & cardinal go fishing, they're out on the water, bishop says "we forgot the tackle boxes" the cardinal says "I'll go get them" so he walks across the water and back, same with bishop later, he walks across the water to get something and back. It's about lunchtime and the cardinal says to the priest, "we forgot the lunches, you go get them." Priest has been thinking about these miracles all morning, so he steps out in faith and sinks. Bishop says to Cardinal "you think we should have shown him where the rocks are?"

[@patriciahopey1384]

Amen .3cheers from Canada

[@boblozaintherealworld3577]

I'd totally forgotten that one...heard it years ago AND it's funny. I'm born and raised Catholic, btw.

[@janeythompson1834]

the vers. I heard was: a Catholic a Methodist and a Baptist go fishing- same story- then (whatever your denomination of faith is), having watched the other two get out and walk on water says to himself, 'I have as much Faith as they have', steps out onto the water and plunges straight down disappearing below the surface.. one of the fathers still in the boat says, 'maybe we should show him where the rocks are before he drowns'.

[@LauraBeeDannon]

Not Catholic? We can help you with that.

[@joycampi7233]

😂😂😂😂

[@thosmyers1]

100% with you.

[@loisroth-johnson3071]

Jim Gaffigan makes me laugh, even at myself. Thanks.

[@iflan09]

My father in law was editor of a Catholic Literary Magazine out of Chicago from the 60s into the 80s called The Critic. He had a wry sense of humor and they had the best cartoonists of the time create cartoons for the magazine. You would have enjoyed it.

[@adrianestrada9799]

"I was a catholic until I reached the age of reason." - George Carlin

[@kathleenferguson3296]

Which is 7 for us!