Best HFY Greentext Stories: The Humans are Coming (r/HFY + /tg/)

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[@tc12legion24]

Can't attack Holy Terra and expect peace.

[@Ct--yn1xw]

FOR THE HOME PLANIT

[@sovietunion6598]

Burn in holy fire

[@Skull-se8jy]

ABANDON REASON! *KNOW ONLY WAR*

[@hardcoreholman303]

BURN THE HERETIC PURGE THE MUTANT AND KILL THE UNCLEAN IN EMPEROR'S NAME WE PREY. FOR THE EMPEROR!!!

[@kylersmith5675]

You attack terra and you start your death

[@timbo853]

Aliens: *Burns holy Terra* Humans: *XENOPHOBIA INCREASES*

[@chrisb9143]

*SAVAGES ! SAVAGES !* *BARELY EVEN SENTIENT* !!!

[@JordKriger]

*Maniacal laughing* "Rip and tear"

[@MuxauJ7]

Nah, xenophobia won't cut it. Xenocide more like it.

[@MrSixPool]

@@JordKriger Until it is done.

[@MrMaxwell1945]

VENGEANCE BROTHERS AND SISTERS TASTE THAT WORD!

[@theacegamingdemon6983]

Humans are the masters of the strategies known as 'kamikaze' and 'zerg rush'

[@KlavierMenn]

Human Wave Tactics at its finest haha

[@craftysmithkeith3653]

Just wait for the 3 rax reaper proxy

[@chrisb9143]

And if this doesn't work, we still have guerrila warfare

[@theghostkidltu2878]

Do not forget the Russian strategy - wall of flesh.

[@bubbykins4864]

@@theghostkidltu2878 And scorched earth. And c l i m a t e.

[@makethomas752]

Mankind: Mom… Earth: Revenge me my child Mankind: Yes I will mother

[@DemiNek0]

If humans get a comon enemy, all the war tactics, all the skill in bloodshed and destruction that we perfected towards each other, all of it, every single drop, will be turned against whatever we face, and in the face of choise "fight, or loose everything" theres nothing that will stop a human, that has something to fight for

[@cant_kill_me]

Lose everything and die or fight until the bitter end and thrive

[@stevedixon921]

Humans fight with each other, but will unite if there is a bigger threat than our current petty squabbles. Once that bigger threat is removed, we would go back to fighting each other again. Best thing a zeno could do is take a seat in the bleachers or carry on. Xeno: "Nice planet you have there, shame if something were to happen to it" Human: "Yes, that would be a shame...for the one that damaged it...and their kin" Humans as one collective: "Yes...that would be shame indeed" Xeno: "a'ight, Ima go home now, later"

[@karl_day]

Let’s not kid ourselves, we got our heads handed to us by the Zerg and the Protoss. Yes, they were like nothing we had ever seen before. Yes, their biology was different. Yes, their technology, or what we would call their technology was more advanced than ours in dozens of areas. And of course, they were belligerent and aggressive in the extreme, they knew and where we were, they had the advantage of surprise. But (and this is a rather large but) we humans are about the most ornery cusses in the galaxy. We had been fighting among ourselves for as long as we’ve been in the sector, and we had honed our own battle technologies to the point where we were their equal in many ways. We had the advantages of interior lines of supply (that’s military for “surrounded”)and native terrain (that’s military for “we’re fighting them in our living rooms”). We could have taken them if we had gotten our act together. So what happened? The very thing that made us good warriors-the fact that we had fought among ourselves-also made us horrible at banding together in our hour of crisis. We could not unite under one banner or even form a coalition. In fact, every time there was a chance for that, one faction or another did something to enhance the advancement of their own political agenda over the other factions. Often at the expense of the rest of humanity. I can’t imagine the hive-minded Zerg or the glowing Protoss falling prey to such basic human drives as greed and power and raw pig-headedness. Of course, those are all basic human drives, and that’s why nonhumans were cleaning our clocks. -THE LIBERTY MANIFESTO

[@glenmaddock1819]

11:06 I am convinced to unite we need a foe we have to unite against .

[@diarmuidh6980]

Well being exterminated would stop us, in any real encounter with aliens the power gap is likely to be so enormous that “equivalent combat” will be a piece of fiction only. More likely the power gap will be measured in many orders of magnitude. So enjoy the story but understand it is a tale for children……..

[@generalnawaki]

you scorch our blessed mother Terra and there will be no place in the stars safe from our vengeance.

[@chrisb9143]

When I realised they *_glassed_* Earth, I just thought : "well, not so long from now another planet is going to be glassed. May even end up like Alderaan from Star Wars"

[@arnatar2086]

Yeah, only we are allowed to destroy earth

[@gillriet773]

@@arnatar2086 this comment made my day dude

[@thomas.parnell7365]

@@chrisb9143 at best like star wars Luke's Skywalker s planet . after the infine empire turned if from ocean world to a desert planet

[@nereo051184]

​@@chrisb9143like tatoine

[@TrenchCoatDingo]

A human driven mad with revenge is more fearsome than any demon.

[@lordcommissarspartan]

*Kar En Tuk*

[@RaydoBaconslayer]

Kar En Tuk

[@mikedanielespeja6128]

Kar En Tuk!

[@Zerpderp0]

It was clearly a woman president at the time. Hell hath no fury and all that

[@theredradish5921]

Kar en tuk

[@Southern_Crusader]

We crucified our God out of pride, we left paradise out of temptation. We are terrifying.

[@awkwardllama0509]

I would be horrified to know what made us

[@itshenry8977]

@@awkwardllama0509 Father of God

[@joeytodd795]

​@@itshenry8977 You called?

[@decimation9780]

@@awkwardllama0509 Chaos. Beautiful, horrifying, incomprehensible Chaos.

[@kdrapertrucker]

Not our God, the Son of God.

[@icedog55puck74]

Earth burns now nothing holds us back

[@Ct--yn1xw]

Amen

[@neenm4299]

Amen

[@RaydoBaconslayer]

Amen

[@chrisb9143]

"Well, Geneva is no more..." This was what the human general answered when we asked if they would follow any of the intergalactic "rules of war". No one knows what this means.

[@krel7160]

@@chrisb9143 Now THAT'S a terrifying statement.

[@carlfromtheoc1788]

Alien commander: What is that infernal noise they are broadcasting? It sounds like a group of Xrantars in heat while being burned alive." Alien soldier: The Terrans call that music. Bagpipe music. They seem to tolerate and possibly like it when going into battle. Alien commander: We are doomed.

[@ryeanchan]

Aye Lad and Lasses .. Aye!

[@skoshman1]

Battletech fanbase: That's the MF Black Watch.

[@PeachDragon_]

*atreides theme intensifies*

[@verilyheld]

Ha. Author Peter Elstob, describing a UK attack upon the Germans= The soldiers were piped into battle by the regimental bagpiper, 'thus inflicting a needless cruelty upon the Germans."

[@calvingreene90]

Never commit an act that will inspire the human pacifists to blood vengeance. Sure the pacifists will suck at it but there will be nobody left to restrain those that are good at it.

[@ettibbet5493]

Geneva convention becomes the Geneva todo list

[@Sanquinity]

@@ettibbet5493 Only a fool not knowing what true terror is would provoke humanity into turning their Geneva convention into a Geneva checklist. :P

[@Zamtrios245]

When seeking vengeance, dig two graves. But you can't dig a grave when you dont have a planet

[@lukkaredwolf3534]

Thats when you make their solar system a grave.

[@alexs5814]

Ill have to trie and remember that. this REALLY feels like something that could have been said as a warning from a Human diplomat to a Xenos one.

[@asurasyn]

"You know, there's a limit to revenge." "Maybe I just haven't reached mine yet."

[@Andrewza1]

when seeking vengeance, dig two graves Why, why do you think i will stop at only two

[@Tarantio1983]

Why dig just 2 graves when you can dig a mass grave for those that wronged you and all whom they love, then you need not a second grave as there's none to fear reprisals from!

[@Danger_N00dle]

I did the math and a single planet the size of Earth contains enough Iron to build a fleet so large, it can send over a billion aircraft carrier size spaceship for every stars in our galaxy.

[@L0rdDeLtA]

#DidTheMath

[@DylonBridson]

What class of carrier we talking?

[@Vsm426]

@@DylonBridson modern one's? I mean they're already huge fortresses

[@jart83]

The most terrifying force of death, comes from the hands of "Men who wanted to be left Alone". They try, so very hard, to mind their own business and provide for themselves and those they love. They resist every impulse to fight back, knowing the forced and permanent change of life that will come from it. They know, that the moment they fight back, the lives as they have lived them, are over. The moment the "Men who wanted to be left Alone" are forced to fight back, it is a small form of suicide. They are literally killing off who they used to be. . . . Which is why, when forced to take up violence, these "Men who wanted to be left Alone", fight with unholy vengeance against those who murdered their former lives. They fight with raw hate, and a drive that cannot be fathomed by those who are merely play-acting at politics and terror. TRUE TERROR will arrive at the enemy's door, and they will cry, scream, and beg for mercy . . . . but it will fall upon deaf ears"

[@Sinyao]

"We could have cracked the human colonies." Please, turning planets into asteroids only make it easier to process them.

[@cletusmandeletusman2328]

aliens: “your stuff pls” humans: “ok” alines: “your stuff again pleas” humans: “no” *alien proceed to glass earth* humans: *you wanna piece of me boy?*

[@cant_kill_me]

"Damnit bobbeh, ya just had to go too far"

[@erutherford]

A piece?? It sounds like they got the whole darned thing :)

[@Mae_Dastardly]

I read that in the sc1 marine voice

[@bananananananabatman8999]

What some bullets? Cus you can have plenty of those.

[@spacetechempire510]

And that’s how humans took over the galaxy in under a decade.

[@Kez_DXX]

At Ford's Ypsilanti, Michigan based Willow Run Bomber plant alone, one B-24 was being produced every 59 minutes at its peak. We can work fast if the galaxy wants us to.

[@AgentPepsi1]

There is no force like vengeance.

[@intermoutaindollhouse6547]

A child's vengeance for a wounded mother!

[@lukkaredwolf3534]

Nothing as holy or sacred as righteous vengeance.

[@jbblades2835]

Whatever comes through that gate we stand our ground! Human general: what’s up bruh? Aliens: terrified screeching

[@FedralBI]

We have come to chew bubblegum, and conquer the galaxy... and you just nuked our gum.

[@freakyskull516]

this is the thought process that makes me give the human god in my D&D setting the "war" domain and that makes the other races call them "murder apes"

[@trazyntheinfinite9895]

Yes nobody ever thought of that before

[@Crazylom]

You simply do not destroy homeworld of Humanity

[@scouttrooper3123]

When I realized they attacked Earth I nearly wished I was in this so I could vent my seething anger towards those who dared even touch Holy Terra!

[@theimperialyank]

The wall of guns knows no end. Strike one man down and 10 take their place. The Emperor Protects.

[@number3766]

The xeno's main issue is they have punched down for most of their existence. Humanity knows nothing but punching up.....and winning

[@shadowhenge7118]

Glass our planet, fine, we glass the galaxy.

[@intermoutaindollhouse6547]

Fear the good human driven to do evil

[@ATSucks1]

Truely

[@couriersix4252]

"demons run when a good man goes to war"

[@intermoutaindollhouse6547]

@@couriersix4252 I wish I could find out where that saying comes from. There must be a good story behind it.

[@couriersix4252]

@@intermoutaindollhouse6547 episode:demons run from doctor who

[@intermoutaindollhouse6547]

@@couriersix4252 thanks

[@venezolanoanimatios5863]

This makes us sound like a nightmareish creature. Like we are the monsters under the bed on this one.

[@Crazylom]

We *ARE.* We just never truly seen ourselves from the side truly

[@venezolanoanimatios5863]

@@Crazylomdepend on the person but true

[@erikagehm2805]

Fairy tales and myths are warnings to us about our very nature. We have the ever so scary capability to use violence, knowledge, and wisdom for both good and evil.

[@seanadams4920]

good. we dont need them to respect us,just fear us

[@zedantyorant]

Bro almost every single horror and atrocity is committed by us.

[@Marastife]

Don't mess with human. We been slaughtering each other for centuries

[@nobodyfromnowhere3597]

Nice one I'm kind of interested in inner workings of both humanity and Xenos as well.

[@hardcoreholman303]

IN THE EMPEROR'S NAME WE PREY! TO HONOR 🎖 BROTHERS AND SISTERS. unknown imperial guards woman. 1st terran regiment blood bathers

[@lukkaredwolf3534]

Glory to the first to fall.

[@dominiklehn2866]

There is a vast difference between "pray" and "prey"

[@hardcoreholman303]

@@dominiklehn2866 yeah I know didn't care though

[@venezolanoanimatios5863]

Alien: the humans are coming, and they are pissed

[@TheOGSpartanNinja]

And so we rage on...

[@doctorbright1065]

It doesn't matter how many times you give your enemy a shave, as long as you can still enjoy dragging the blade acrossed their throat in the end.

[@dustythunderknuckle2229]

Humans United to do the whole space new frontier one people stuff is the most unbelievable part of this

[@emeralddragon2980]

They stole from us and humiliated us, forcing us to humiliate ourselves. I don't know about you, but I would not put up with that. A guy can only take so much before he strikes back; I think that's what this story embodies.

[@Zerpderp0]

It's just terran propaganda. I still remember the Scandinavian incident that led to the Scandinavian Reclamation Zone. Still got pockets of radiation here and there

[@Crazylom]

"Nothing unites people more than common enemy"

[@tahrjseth6467]

In everything you kill one human soldier it's replaced by ten

[@Beanie28]

For every one that falls, TEN MORE SHALL REPLACE THEM.

[@user-tu4jp4vr7d]

Suffer not the heretic, the xenos, the mutant. For the Emperor, for holy terra!

[@couriersix4252]

Humans:well fuck you then *wall of guns initiated*

[@Roosauec]

They made us torch our flag, and made us watch as they glassed our home planet. It's only fair we do the same to them.

[@reecefennell3969]

Humans : o you destroyed our home it's fine..... Xeno: great so we're all good..... wait why are you smiling like that? Human: I SHALL REMOVE YOUR HEAD AND CRAP DOWN YOU NECK STUMP

[@caveofskarzs1544]

I thought this is going to be a hopeful story, like the Lord of the rings "the eagles are coming", but no, it's just war.

[@Kez_DXX]

So, it was like Lord of the Rings then.

[@_GenericAmerican]

@@Kez_DXX more like lord of the beans, the superior film

[@piedpiper1185]

It was like LotR. But you have to remember that humans are space orcs. Drums in the deep. They are coming.

[@blakedavis2447]

As they say on earth don’t poke the bear

[@Ashigeru47]

Glass our home, you make your own targets...and we will show the same Mercy shown to us! No Mercy!

[@jameswalker6724]

This reminds me of the burning of monarchia in Warhammer 40k

[@helmsplitter0233]

Drums. Drums in the deep.... the way is shut, we can not get out, the way is shut

[@willparry530]

admittedly not the story I expected when I saw the title. I've seen several stories that invoke that exact phrase. Still a fun one.

[@ciarantanner1464]

I'm glad you got rid of that obnoxious end song, great video

[@technology2598]

Yep can see humanity going total war on the galaxy should Earth ever be harmed in any fashion and would probably be waiting for the opportunity to return the favour.

[@popivan428]

This story but badly sumarized: Aliens:haha we burned some random planet of dipshit monkeys good times Humans(month later):Sacred_war_earrape. Mp3

[@SaberFox-xo5jf]

may God forgive the enemy that units humanity with the fires of war in own forge.

[@eeveecrazy5025]

No, at that point humanity is god and ther is no room for forgivnes in humanitys hart (Btw sorry if I spell somting rong english is not my frst tong)

[@mutehowl]

Space dwarves

[@Francis-ce1qb]

so... were they purge out of existence?

[@wrathshorts2894]

There is no greater power in this universe than the desire for freedom. Against that power governments, tyrants, and armies cannot stand. We have taught this lesson before. We will teach it again.

[@CatsAgainstCommunism]

The destruction of our home planet pisses us off, but there were billions of cute, fluffy, loving animals and children that got incinerated... and that, that's a paddlin'

[@xotube2206]

Well don't start nothing and there won't be nothing.. Silly alliens

[@joshbrown6877]

And we won’t come back till it’s over over there.

[@Kez_DXX]

Today, we are on the offensive all accross the galaxy, bringing the attack to our enemies...

[@CB-sv2bm]

Heh. They called a Crusade. Funny thing is, we already declared Deus Vult

[@simplewrites]

Suffer not the alien to live

[@draconus15]

I mean you dont mess with earth.

[@mutehowl]

Yet another one for the shfy pile.

[@yeeto5o5ifureadthisyourega86]

Love your vids

[@happydonkey5333]

Game of thrones: space edition

[@CoconutxKimchi]

One thing any human hates is to have their pride stripped away publicly.

[@Amariachan]

only WE can glass OUR planet :'D

[@alfredsutton7233]

All hail the algorithm ... five words minimum.

[@tzortzinis1]

Thanks for the long one

[@yordan9669]

all HFY stories present humanity as possessing billion upon billions of sould and yet it seems we will be struggling with population decline in barely 50 years with some saying we will never again reach big numbers due to low birth rates.

[@agelessrebellion8271]

its been speculated that humanity could survive with less then a billion people. keep in mind that in LESS then 200 years humanity went from 5 billion to almost 8 and that is with world wide wars, famine, ect. this whole "population decline" is nothing but fear mongering by rich religious figureheads pushing a bigoted agenda.

[@iaaf_nw2367]

Space is a frontier that would allow humans to reproduce more due to even more resources available to sustain such populations, unlike current populations held back by the limited resources of Earth.

[@Darkinu2]

They took our dignity, our Homeworld? We took theirs.

[@Dragon-Katelyn]

Glass humanity's cradle world and don't expect the same in return? I felt primordial anger listening to this story and whole heartedly enjoyed the down fall of humanity's enemies for there r many

[@Stonehawk]

And that, right there, was the reason we had to exterminate every last one of them. They didn't learn the lesson. They thought the lesson was "we should have attacked the humans harder". The only way that they could have been spared from total annihilation would have been if they had instead learned "we should not have attacked the humans at all".

[@trazyntheinfinite9895]

Interstellar travel does not happen inside one starsystem.

[@solaire773]

They burned Terra , they got what they deserved a hundred fold for every animal , every family torn asunder we will show them what fear and pain truly are and they will watch in horror as their empire falls and their planets burn their homeworld will not survive the wrath of our army nor will any of they forget how badly they fucked up

[@robertcarnazzo6382]

time lines are important. hard to believe how Sol 3 could be conquered, then within a month begin to win the war.

[@bradenalder9016]

One thing you dont to with humanity is give them a common enemy because then we work together for one common goal

[@maxhax367]

Soooo. Imperial guard vs Tau?

[@generaljackson5741]

Tau wins. HERESY!

[@elijahaitaok8624]

@@generaljackson5741 that’s what they think

[@sebastian114]

@@generaljackson5741 except we know in the lore that the Tau are so insignificant that the Imperium cant even be arsed to eradicate them... Hell a scout fleet from the Imperium decimated the Tau's fleet and the were just there to take a look.

[@matacoos1368]

Could not imagine fuckimg up so hard I make the Imperium

[@creemoon9546]

time is on our side

[@CharliMorganMusic]

Ten dollars says that everyone reading this let the Council die and killed Sovereign like the OGs we are.

[@brianlance8263]

Easiest ten dollars I ever made. Paragon Shepard player here.

[@durinironson]

Anyone who attacks Terra better expect to recieve species wide extinction on a galactic scale!

[@hekmatyar4476]

sounds like German engineering mixed with american production capabilities mixed with soviet population

[@LNIGO]

Attrition warfare can be usefull under circumstances

[@dovahbear0]

Cant be a willing conscript.

[@elizabethheaton2670]

They knew not what they did to themselves on that day. But they sure as shit know now.

[@adphoenix600]

Man this states back to where it’s revolutionary war just like when one person that I forgot his name sorry he said the British are coming but it’s an opposite we are on offensive as humans come for them

[@alphadragon4347]

VENGEANCE FOR GAIA!!! FOR THE MOTHER OF ALL HUMANITY THERE WILL BE BLOOD AND RETRIBUTION!!! DEATH TO THE ENEMY!!!

[@imperialdragoon9715]

Space Russia

[@polasamierwahsh421]

niiice

[@charlesesseltine7054]

Shran said it best: Don't push the Pink Skins to the thin ice!

[@donovanporter4545]

So they fd around and found out

[@samuelreese1816]

When you plan to wound a mother, first count her children

[@alphamorion4314]

FOR THE HORDE

[@madgamer7890]

If any lesson was learned it's don't fuck with our shit

[@yaku2tani625]

*men in black intensifies*

[@thething9617]

Cool story, but humanity turning the tide in 2 years? Yeah, no. I know this is HFY, but still, years is unrealistic even for that genre.

[@lukkaredwolf3534]

It wasn't that humanity turned the tide in two years. It was that we were always prepared but not unified. We had sleeper agents in at least one empire (theocracy) imbedded enough to cause a catechism. Humanity constantly wars on itself. Always with the undertone of "F#ck around and find out." Those aliens decided to take us up on the offer by going after Holy Terra. Kid gloves and peace came off after the go for the throat.

[@laststand6420]

I thought the same thing, It needed to be about ten times longer to be realistic.

[@cant_kill_me]

@@lukkaredwolf3534 "we got all this stuff but we cant access it" *loses war* Xenos: here's stuff to access those resources Humams *don't mind if I do*

[@conservat1vepatr1ot]

The random breaks in music where just a single noise makes some high-low-high buzzing noise, is really distracting...

[@tooner007]

First Edit: shit.

[@draconus15]

I mean you dont mess with earth.