Best HFY Reddit Stories: The Human’s Unusual Deity (r/HFY)

Making him real!
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#hfy #Greentext #awesome #space #spaceorcs #/tg/ #greentexts #4chan

[@NathanBChampine]

Santa goes interstellar. That's one heck of an FTL drive he's got there.

[@giorgichachua11010]

deers are on one hell of psychodelic

[@silverseth7]

Powered by the wishes of children.

[@MarkJohnson-ro1ed]

He's going to need a lot of cookies and milk to power that!

[@wilhelminamyers146]

Santa & his reindeer, so far beyond FTL speeds, the light cannot catch up before he's off to his next stop!

[@apart-timeastronaut6530]

Completely spoiled the video for me by being the top comment. As soon as I clicked it the first thing I saw was your comment

[@Emerald__Ace]

This takes "Santa Claus is coming" to another level

[@marclytle644]

Get a towel.

[@xtratic]

Last time Santa came on a visit when i was a kid, i was sore for a week.

[@MrHuntingClaw]

That slow realization of which deity the story was about felt glorious.

[@77yvurc]

I love how this is both heartwarming and unsettling for the aliens

[@TheSolidSnakeOil]

It was unsettling for me too until he said children believed in it the most. So, it was either Santa or The Boogie Man. I had my hopes up that it was Santa.

[@chadrowin2956]

@@TheSolidSnakeOil Just pause for a moment and give rise to this thought: The Tooth Fairy

[@fauzanamar]

Elf before:i'm so tired of making all this toy Elf after billion more alien children believe in santa:sunuva beetch

[@wrathshorts2894]

Each little elf used to fill up a shelf Making playthings and selflessly Thrilling us Now they're on crack and it feels Iraq Because Christmas time is killing us

[@privatetrolldier5640]

​@wrathshorts2894 yo wrath what are you doing here?

[@GsusIsKing]

This is exactly why the Science Fantasy genre is grossly underated.

[@blackfire3744]

Up till the 3 minute mark, I was expecting it to be Chuck Norris.

[@matthewlaw3763]

my thought exactly.

[@davidkipping666]

Just remember that the first god saved the universe, so it could have been Chuck Norris or Flash Gordan.

[@blackfire3744]

@@davidkipping666 Well... Segata Sanshiro did ride a missile that was bound for the Sega headquarters of Japan into space before it exploded. He'd be a fair contender as well for the first god to show up.

[@CheeseyBreezey]

Yup, sounded like a Chuck Norris joke right until the speed was detailed.

[@MrSuperbeast92]

SAME!! LMFAO

[@pipachu6516]

As soon as it said teens stopped believing I figured out who it was and I couldn't stop laughing XD

[@Zedyne]

Around 3 minutes in I realized what this _unusual deity_ was. Brilliant!

[@Zedyne]

@OrionTheWildhunt I leave comments on videos I like and feel like commenting on? Haven't really been doing it lately though, so is there a problem?

[@scott644]

I because to hope around 1:45, strongly suspect at 2:30, and at 2:45 I knew. Loved it!

[@Mr_Jester980]

Saint Nick's back at it again with his intergalactic starship, Rudolph 24.

[@DaoYeLung]

I'm sitting here thinking "is it capital "G" God?", until they started mentioning children being the biggest believers. When the realization hit me I started tearing up laughing.

[@ShinigamiSparda]

I mean... let's be honest, the other possibility would've been the Grim Reaper, so this is truly the best way this could've turned out.

[@scotteggert9820]

Of course, it would be Santa Claus. The one thing all children believe in. So now the universe has a new Jolly God with a belly that shakes like a bowl of Jelly.

[@kennethpeterson7524]

Until it mentioned that mostly children believed, I thought it was going to be Murphys Law

[@daltonsharp6254]

I thought it was going to be the grim reaper

[@ObservingLibertarian]

[shudder] carnage and woe be upon those who's deeds or words summon the arch demon Murphy. That would, however, be a horrifically funny HFY. Xeno's: [screaming] "How could your primitive minds conjure something so horrifying?" Humans: "Ha, you think that's bad, wait till you find out what existential dread is.", Xenos: "That didn't translate... what did you say?" Humans: oh, don't worry about it, you'll find out. Xenos: ... Humans: ... Xenos: We hate you. HUmans: We know.

[@isaackinsley1662]

@@ObservingLibertarian oh wow, that is funny yet horrible at the same time.

[@ObservingLibertarian]

@@isaackinsley1662 Yeah, every so often you see an hfy pop up where the concept of existential dread comes into play, Lovecraftian horrors and the like. it's a lesser used topic in the genre and those stories are usually a bit more introspective into human psychology rather than humorous. Makes for a fascinating read though. One aspect of the concept I've seen examined a few times would be when a xeno psychologist or some sort or other was giving a report or some form of examination into human psychology by means of our media. Such our popular forms of alien invasion or the horror genre. The key point made, which is actually rather interesting on it's own: human media in those two arenas tends to involve either supernatural or untannable force. Zombies, vampires, werewolves, ghosts, specters, wraiths, demons, devils -or for scifi - aliens of nearly incomprehensible levels of technological advancement. Or perhaps robots which are all-but indestructible killing machines. Now what does that say about humans? For something to scare us - it has to be something outlandish, fantastic, immeasurably superior to the extent of supernatural existential threat - and why? Well, anything less than that - just doesn't actually scare us, it doesn't even bother us all that much. The species survived multiple extinction level events which left genetically identifiable choke points where several times only a few thousand humans were left alive on the entire planet. We've had wars which claimed tens of millions of people. We were even engaging in *inter-continental* warfare before we so much as learned how to smelt iron. Nothing short of supernatural levels of existential threat - is even worth getting all that worked up about, it just falls by the wayside. Even outside of entertainment, look at how much concerted effort has to be *poured* into every possible moment of the day, to get people to wash their hands more often during a pandemic outbreak of a deadly airborne disease... why? Well - low death rate, that's why. It takes - that - much - effort: to get people to put on masks, because it takes quite just that much effort to try and get average, everyday, humans to be frightened of something. Otherwise all you get is "meh" - and they go about their day, no F's given. That's humanity, and for all of us we just kind of roll with it because this is us, this is what we're used to. This is Friday man, pandemic or no pandemic - I want to visit the bar and chase some strange. From an outsiders perspective though, from a potential Xeno perspective: the fact that nothing short of impossibly strong, impossibly powerful and impossible advanced enemies - can even remotely *warrant* a genuine fear response from humans, would probably be utterly terrifying. It's a concept you don't see pop up _very often_ in hfy, but I enjoy the introspection when I do see it, the outsider viewpoint looking at humanity is interesting to contemplate.

[@dadudeme]

​@@daltonsharp6254he death is a nice guy. He relieves you from your earthly pains and takes you wherever you need to go. But he doesn't rush you, or force you to leave the in between, you can stay as long as you want in that space where you can see them but they can't see you. And when you are ready, he will be there to guide you through to the other side.

[@Iluvantir]

Okay, that was the most heartwarming story I've had read to me in a LONG time. Humans and all Alien Children singing joyfully: "Santa Claus is Coming to town!" Alien governments in mass panic: "Santa Is Coming!!!!..." You know, after that first event, it's not going to be just the young children believing... teens will believe again, and so will adults. Year after year with hand-made, specially designed presents for everyone? Which adult is so grown up he doesn't want a special teddy bear made just to order for themself!

[@omargoodman2999]

In base-1224 (December 24), H0H0H0 m/s would be ~155,788,572.3x light speed. That would be about fast enough to fly from one end of the Milky Way to the other and back again in a single Earth night. Maybe a bit of a tight schedule to hit every inhabited system, including orbital stations, moon colonies, etc. Let's flip the date convention to day/month and say it's H0H0H0 in base-2412. That would make for about 30 round trips across the galactic diameter in a single night and corresponds to ~4,629,294,505x light speed. That sounds more feasible. Also, fun fact, the Canadian postal code for the North Pole is H0H 0H0. It is specifically used for letters addressed to Santa and do not require postage. The US zip code for the same purpose is the far less interesting 88888.

[@AustralianGrizzly]

If that is the actual math that works. I love it even more...

[@firedirewolf]

I haven't seen a thing of "base-#" before and I don't know if hohoho is Greek numerals or what, could I ask for a math lesson please? I esh dumbz

[@ceilyurie856]

Ironically, the number 8 in many cultures is considered a "divine" number, and is also the perfect cube of the only EVEN prime, 2.

[@omargoodman2999]

@@firedirewolf basically, what you're used to using is base-10; it uses 10 numerals (0-9). The next number past 9 rolls over to the next place value, 1 ten and the ones resets back to 0; 10. But in, let's say, base-2 (binary) you only use 2 numerals (0 and 1). So after 1, the next number (2 in base-10) has to roll over and would be written as 10. So the numbers 0-9 in base-10, written in binary, would be 0, 1, 10, 11, 100, 101, 110, 111, 1000. Now, going the other way, you can also have bases greater than 10, but we don't have standard numerals greater than 9. Convention is to start using letters. Base-16 (hexadecimal) uses 16 numerals equivalent to the base-10 numbers 0-15; 0-9 followed by A-F. For example, the Dec number 15 would be F in Hex. And the next number rolls over and is written as 10 in Hex, but this is equal to 16 in Dec. Then you'd count up 11, 12, 13... 19, 1A, 1B, 1C, 1D, 1E, 1F, 20... the 20 in Hex here would equal 32 in Decimal. Now, for very exaggerated bases like what I used, they're still mathematically possible, but would be a nightmare to write out because you'd need thousands of distinct characters for the digits. I made a presumption that it started off using letters according to convention so in H 0 H 0 H 0 (those are zeros [0], BTW, not O's) the H is equivalent to 17 in Decimal. So this lets you write what would be a ridiculously huge number if written using decimal using a very short number of only 6 place values.

[@markuhler2664]

@@omargoodman2999 Very good explanation. Wish I had had a teacher walk through it that well. In their defense, not even history was a subject yet as it hadn't happened, & I got a Master's in fire & my wife a Ph.d in wheel making. I prefer a year/month/day date notation - it's good for file names for files that are repeated often like a weekly progress report. But 24 December has to be right in this case. No question on it.

[@ewils423]

I went looking for HFY stories to be put into an even darker mood tonight..... I have now left feeling... very Jolly. I love you Santa.

[@BunnyTheOverlord]

I never get gifts on Christmas but its still my favorite holiday just because of the Hope and Joy that Santa represents.

[@doctorbright1065]

This would require Santa to not be real to begin with, which we all know isn't true. He's bringing us all joy and laughter for many generations.

[@kingfairytale4306]

You still are not allowed to use chainsaw cannons on Christmas Dr. Bright, or any other day for that matter.

[@micahscott3895]

"Oh Rudolph with your nose so bright!, won't you guide my sleigh at the speed of light"

[@Greenphantom16]

😂

[@ojutay8375]

This is a very cute story. Though he's now an unstoppable being and you literally can't keep him out of your house

[@humanoiddragon3723]

Why are you in my house?! Meme 😂😂😂😂😂

[@mrhoneywayz9246]

Yo, Santa is so powerful that the man turned enemies on the battlefield, friends.

[@boobah5643]

My first thought for 'esoteric cross-cultural human deity' was Murphy. We, uh... we probably _don't_ want Murphy to visit, although once a year would be a nice improvement on the status quo.

[@wildwikedwanderer1208]

You better watch out. You better not cry. You better not shout. I’m telling you why. Santa Claus 🎅 is coming to town.

[@CheeseyBreezey]

Just don't tell them about krampus. They'll be shitting bricks for weeks.

[@TheCaptNoname]

He sees you when you're spacing, He knows how you put welds, He knows if you've been bad or good, So be good, for goodness' sake.

[@joshuam5923]

I don't know why, that ending was unnerving, on the plus side free coal

[@DarkNova69]

I think this is my favorite one so far, it lifted a bad day for me. thank you

[@jmoneyjoshkinion4576]

Now that was a great "error" message. How he comes to be "Him" varies, but his actions and deeds are always the same. Happy New Year!

[@lawrencem.37]

Of course Santa is real. He is currently running for Alaska's vacant seat in congress. He is even from North Pole... Alaska.

[@DEMONOFLOVEANDDEATH]

Bless the Narrator Bless the Author

[@dacomputernerd4096]

Fun fact: Canada made the north pole's postal code H0-H0-H0

[@Wotan874]

I recognized it when there was told "teenagers usually stop believing, but as adults told their children because it was the right thing to do" ... I love this story

[@syrathdouglas1244]

Well this was unexpectedly wholesome

[@rickkephartactual7706]

LOL. that was one unique HFY story and I loved it!

[@wilemelliott]

Well... beats the birth of a god in the 40k universe...yeek

[@kingfairytale4306]

Yeah………. Ever since slaanesh was “muderfucked” into existence, things have kinda gotten out of hand.

[@juliantotriwijaya9208]

I was expecting the real god God to be summoned, the source of all things, the one formless eldritch horror being that started existance itself, a being capable of spliting itself into many form/limbs, holy trinity or even more but still part of one body. I did not expect Santa Clause to be a god, but I guess the part about children should have been a clue.

[@nixpardus3575]

when this first started out i figured itd be the grim reaper as the grim reaper seems to be in almost every religion of earth and generally has a very base standard of what it is. a being cloaked in darkness and wielding a weapon. most if not all religions (im not 100% on that) have death or the grim reaper depicted that way, the only real variations that are of note that would stop the being from manifesting is if he is a guide to the after life or the harvester of souls, the one who decides your time. also some depict as a skeletal figure while others are just shadow but i dont see that being so big a difference as to stop the manifestation

[@latemanparodius5133]

How long until he starts leaving coal or some cultural analogue for some political leaders across the galaxy?

[@Zander2212]

I realized when they said teenagers stop believing. This is hilarious.

[@jon12700]

Took me a few minutes, but when we where at once a year, and a specific signal and parents stopping to believe but teaching their kids it hit me... And it hit me hard xD dear lord

[@erikagehm2805]

I was expecting it to be a Jesus, Satan, or Santa story.

[@XwerffX]

I was specting superman or something like that

[@erikagehm2805]

@@XwerffX I could see that. The thing that made me give up on the superhero was when esoteric was mentioned.

[@ThornMu]

My prediction was batman until the teens were mentioned.

[@kdrapertrucker]

Twas the night before Christmas on ceti alpha 3, and I was watching the sensors with a steaming cup of tea. When all at once subspace sensors began to clatter, I pulled up a visual to see what was the matter. When what did my wondering eyes see, from the video feed from satellite 3.

[@GravitWry]

Oh my fucking god, I never groaned so hard when I realised who this "Deity" was even before they said who it was.

[@thearchangel2716]

I like how your the only person here complaining

[@GuyWhoWatchesStuff]

Haven't listened to the entire thing but I'm betting 100% it's Santa Claus

[@kanoslayer2735]

Ah god-forging. Such fun!

[@Joshua-gs8ln]

YAY I LOVE THIS ONE!!! I listen to it each year for Christmas.

[@EAZ36588]

For a while there I was getting worried for the universe since I was thinking Murphy until they said all the kids wanted him to be real then I knew there would be a much happier ending 🎅ho ho ho

[@piglin469]

Dont give old man murphy amo

[@steve2008s]

bueatful , a tear in my cheak

[@iviewardden5436]

Yes you cannot stop Old Saint Nick

[@comparatorclock]

Started akin to Theros, ended akin to a benevolent SCP anomaly. Go figure.

[@gearsfan6669]

I was fully expecting a dragon/Smaug instead I find this video oddly at the perfect time of year

[@properfunny]

And here I thought it would be either Murphy or Lady Luck.

[@VitaNocturno]

This was quite wholesome for a HFY story, but it made me smile

[@rucerius4968]

This gave me a much needed laugh

[@neo2652]

Santa what the FUCK did you feed your reindeer to make them that fast!?

[@reesewhittington6778]

“My goals are beyond your understanding.” “…Well, the understanding of some of you. Ho ho ho!” “No but seriously, Bezos, you better have a bodyguard cause your getting your coal upside the head this time.”

[@kclark8266]

That was a really good. I was trying to decide whether or not it was the god of Murphy's law or Santa

[@RTanna89]

Should have saved this one for December!

[@EndsBeginning]

The story was actually released on Christmas on reddit. I remember reading it at the time.

[@paulhuston9991]

My bet was on Santa when they said teens and adults don't belive lol

[@johncunningham4820]

What a Warm and Fuzzy Story .

[@Inquisitor-Yog-Sothoth]

It took me about 3 minutes to realize it was Santa Claus.

[@wilhelminamyers146]

I LOVE IT! Humans made it possible for Santa, the spirit of rewarding good children for good behavior, to conquer the galaxy!

[@bobbyadamson3154]

I was expecting Murphy lol

[@jakevex4198]

And so Old Saint Nick ditched the the Reindeer and the sled for an FTL Drive and a spaceship

[@waterpicker]

Pretty sure he is still uses the sleigh and reindeer. While real in that universe, he would be something more akin to a fully manifested and realized egergore aka not bound by conventional physics.

[@cletusmartin4628]

FOR GOD EMPEROR STABBY!

[@nomar229]

Had to look for this again. Merry Christmas everyone!

[@KuDastardly]

The moment the word "toy" came into the story, I already knew, lol! Incidentally, if the galactic civilization gets any bigger, Santa's likely gonna need to perform "Kage Bunshin No Jutsu" in the trillions just to cover every place in an ever-expanding galaxy all within a span of a single day practically.

[@tonyneal910]

Yes Virginia, there is a Santa Claus. This little story brought literal tears of joy to my eyes. Thank you. 😊😊😊😊😊👏👏👏👏❤❤❤👍

[@scott644]

It's that time of year again. Let us honor him well. ^_^

[@lazarus9165]

So what horrible menace did Santa vanquish?

[@kingfairytale4306]

Disbelief in himself.

[@allenmorgan1007]

For the Algorithm, for the Author(s), for the Disembodied Voice!

[@ElicBehexan]

I figured it out before you said it, but this was really good!

[@EvieWingweaver13]

At least it's not Krampus.

[@beingsneaky]

I had never heard of krumpus tell recently.. and I am 57.

[@Firesgone]

@@beingsneaky It's a newer myth based on the idea of everything having an opposite. In this case Santa 🎅 Ironically the story of Krumpus makes it out as being older than Santa despite it being a response to him. The myth says that Krumpus will ransack and kill villages that forgot the spirit of Christmas. In other words, instead of Santa giving a whole village coal Krumpus kills everyone. There is a good horror movie about this that came out around 2015. I'd recommend it!

[@beingsneaky]

@@Firesgone ah ok thanks.

[@ckl9390]

@@Firesgone I thought Krumpus was a holdover from pre-Christian Germanic paganism that explained why households or entire villages sometimes died or disappeared entirely during winter. That they must have done something wrong to be punished in that way. Being an opposing analogue to Saint Nicklaus would have been part of local culture being adapted to fit the christian narrative, even if that did happen more recently.

[@lisavaldez661]

That was super cute!!! Well done

[@jdtheone]

Well that's an angle of science fiction that I never thought of and just awesome actually a good story absolutely fascinating 😀 👍 😊

[@faithhellman402]

I didn't realize until we got to the presents, but man, this one was good. 😂

[@tbarnes4403]

Omg this is amazing

[@Underb00t]

Merry Christmas hfy gang!

[@jasonbower9515]

WHO SAID CHUCK NORRIS!! WE ARE NOW FRIENDS!!

[@edg0126]

Now that is a goal

[@rolandosada8077]

Well done. Thanks for the smile

[@BunnyTheOverlord]

Merry Christmas!

[@SansearX]

Great text, thanks.

[@SpectroliteDS2400]

As soon as they mentioned gifts i fucking KNEW it was Santa

[@AlienTrucker]

I was expecting death but NOT SANTA 😂

[@scotthinger6397]

Very good!!

[@cheafmin1399]

At the 4:30 mark, I'm guessing it's Santa.

[@cheafmin1399]

Knew it

[@kathylecluyse7820]

I came here expecting the Unholy Trinity of Murphy, Sod and Finnegan.

[@ianpeters4365]

Santa Claus is aperently a god

[@ckl9390]

It's belief that makes the god. Even if they only get the title of Saint.

[@kragendarkstripe8527]

That was excellent

[@guardianangel7589]

I see this as an absolute win

[@rockfan243]

🎶🎵Oooooooooooooohhhhhh🎶🎵 🎶🎵You better watch out 🎵🎶 🎶🎵You better not cry🎶🎵 🎶🎵You better not pout I'm telling you why🎶🎵 🎶🎵Santa Clause is coooooming to tooooowwwwwwn🎵🎶

[@ManicPandaz]

At first I thought it was Death… but soon I realized humanity’s true god… Santa.

[@johnangel8361]

Santa only visits Protestant houses, Christianity won

[@rasehorn]

I bet the error message that telemetry recieved was "ho ho ho ho"

[@trentthehehim3936]

Santa is a belief. The belief in “ Giving is better than receiving” as children we believe in the physical manifestation of Santa and as adults we understand the Idea. The physical manifestation may not be true but the belief is VERY real.

[@noctusdoesthings]

Santa deniers be like "Must have been the solar wind"

[@WiredTurkey316]

Will Ferrell intensifies

[@gadgetboy4717]

How did Santa save the galaxy?

[@nweasels]

.... It took me a moment to realize, but hohoholy shit, but I caught it before the reveal.

[@aardvarkqq]

Let us hope krampus doesn’t fallow.

[@The_Racr1]

I initially thought it was the grim reaper for some reason