5 things you probably need to hear

[@horationelson8173]

As a man who used to struggle with depression these are the most helpful things I can think of: -Take Risks, don't let the fear of failure stop you from trying something new or something great -Do things that genuinely scare you or that you're afraid of (Even little things like climbing onto a roof and helping to put up Christmas lights if you're afraid of heights or saying something to the cute cashier girl other than "hi" and "thanks") -Pursue an ambitious goal, one that a lot of people don't believe you can achieve (It doesn't even matter if you fail this because no matter what the pursuit of an ambitious goal will make you a better person and give you fulfillment) With that being said, do your best to succeed -Have a passion, basically this means to find a hobby that you enjoy so much that you will spend hours and hours getting better at it -Study history, pick a role model, and then analyze the traits of your role model and list the reasons why you admire them. Then start to emulate these traits in your everyday life and eventually you will become your own role model. -Don't ever quit something just because it's hard (You can quit a crappy job if it's not the right fit for you, but never quit solely based on the fact that something is difficult). Embrace challenges and look for opportunities to improve yourself mentally, physically, and spiritually. -Never put yourself down. Try not to think negative things about yourself and especially never say them out loud. You will think more highly of yourself when you say positive things about yourself, at the very least avoid putting yourself down on purpose. -Live purposefully. Have a direction for your life and if you don't already have one, make one. Decide what's most important to you and live accordingly. If you have a family or even a single loved one, your first priority (other than serving God if you're religious) should be to provide for them, to protect them, and to help them become the best version of themselves -Develop Integrity. I can't even explain how much this increases your self-repsect. Be honest, be trustworthy, don't cheat (unless you're in a street fight) and live with honor. -Find a hobby that you're really passionate about and strive to become a master at it -Finally, probably the most important thing I can say is to think less about yourself. Think less about yourself but not less of yourself. In other words, think about other people before you think about yourself, especially your family and loved ones. If you're focused on helping them with their problems I can promise you that your problems will become less important and less troublesome. Look for opportunities to help others and make them feel better about themselves. Nothing lifts you out of depression better than helping someone out of theirs. I hope this helps. I realize that some people are genetically predisposed to having a harder time with depression, but I believe that there's nothing you can't overcome with a strong mindset. In addition, I strongly believe that going through depression and having such terrible lows actually gives you the capacity to feel even greater happiness and joy. The reason I say this is because when you feel genuine joy after being depressed for so long you can't help but feel grateful. The beauty of life is that we are meant to experience the full range of human emotions, from happiness to anger to jealousy to despair to joy. We couldn't feel genuine happiness if we never knew what it was like to be sad. If I could talk to whoever is reading this face-to-face, what I would say to you would be simple: don't quit. A quote from Winston Churchill kept me going in times when I thought I had nothing left, he said: "If you're going through Hell, keep going." Everything in life can be and is meant to be an opportunity to make yourself better, and depression is no exception. Keep fighting, all of you are descended from warriors no matter what culture or country you are from. You wouldn't be here today if it weren't for the conquering spirit of your ancestors. Live a life that would make them proud. While most of us will not fight in physical wars, no one is exempt from the battlefield of life. Depression can be a battle every single day, every single second in some cases. Keep fighting, it will only get better. And the more you fight, the more you will gain respect for yourself. I've conquered my depression. Every now and then it will start to try and creep back into my mind but I don't let it. I destroy those feelings with action. I go lift weights, I go running, I listen to metal music, whatever it takes for me to regain my confidence. You can conquer depression, no matter how severe it is. That doesn't mean you'll never have days where you feel down, but it does mean that you'll have the strength to push through and do what you need to do as a man regardless of how you're feeling. Stay strong, stay hard, and fight like dragons 🐉 You're going to be very glad you did.

[@luckyyy3900]

I normally don't comment that much. But Thank you so much for this message dude. Lord knows how much I needed that.

[@Andygharrison]

Same as above, I don’t generally comment but this was some seriously great advice, thank you

[@sparkstudies1675]

Thank you.

[@solidsnake8103]

Can't thank you enough ! This made my day... ! Depression seriously sucks the soul out of us; The key is to keep looking at the bright side and taking those lil steps... I hope everything works out for everyone !

[@AdrianTangMusic]

thank you for thr amazing advice ♥️

[@Rawi888]

Dawg you can’t just make a homie start crying in the kitchen and then spit out an audible ad. That comedic timing and your warm words snapped me from spiralling. Thank you so much dawg. Really glad to see your growth, it nurtures my own.

[@ComfortAjibola]

"Even if you're not okay, that's okay too." - so true. I think people need to be reminded that life isn’t about feeling 100% happy all day every day, we have to go through the dark moments to appreciate the light sometimes. Character development mostly only happens through retrospect, by applying empathy and understanding. idk if that makes sense but yes, wishing everyone love and light. We need it.

[@YetAnotherMartian]

I think you mean "life isN'T about". But yes, true words

[@YHProduction1]

@@YetAnotherMartian It's the toxic positivity slipping out in a freudian manner

[@Holynoelle]

@@kennymccormick6366 when you decide to take acai

[@Holynoelle]

action*

[@vasudev8421]

The art of not giving a f,it's a great book,9/10

[@sanguivora7593]

I wonder how much Joey enjoys the "not taking care of yourself" scenes where he's eating junk food and/or being a potato playing video games. Like does he secretly look forward to it? Loved this video haha his sense of humour really comes through. Great advice and had a good laugh 😆

[@ezra4554]

My favorite are the "Joey looking sad & introspective while hanging out with mates" shots.

[@jeanivanjohnson]

it feels like he's saying that you should take care of yourself instead of taking care of junk food and video games

[@jaidyn005]

@@jeanivanjohnson 😱 no way

[@worldogameplays]

I love the fact that he makes his own stock footages.

[@ondrejmarek9752]

I think if you"re on the grind it actually is not comfortable and you do it just for the sake of the video. I personally would not enjoy eating Doritos at all now when I'm eating healthy.

[@alexanderjamatia9823]

Please Never delete your channel, I will always have to come back to it when I get stuck in my life in future Thank you for making amazing videos that are actually useful and relatable

[@ClayStopframe]

Me too, i need these to wake up to

[@marquisdehoto1638]

#1 Everything that happens to you is your responsibility 0:10 #2 Life gets easier when you're on your own side. 2:06 #3 Nobody owes you anything. 4:40 #4 Communism has failed every time it was tried. 6:19 (?) #5 It's going to be okay. 6:23

[@whysoserious286]

#4 was the cherry on the top

[@abrahamlinkin2414]

*failed *spectacularly* every time it was tried.

[@mynameisantor]

Thanks

[@ThapeloMachaka256]

thank you!!

[@GLOBALWRLD]

Prec8it dis

[@Emirhan_Mutlu]

"At the end of the day if you are willing to stick with it, things will be okay; they always will be okay. Even if you are not okay, it's okay." Thanks man needed to hear this.

[@salwaabusaad9819]

Who asked

[@bananajoe8707]

At that moment I started tearing up a little :') we got this y'all

[@Bobin10101]

@@salwaabusaad9819 shut up abusaad

[@memesoon5877]

@@salwaabusaad9819 It's gonna be okay Just don't be an asshle you gain nothing from it

[@melodicmaidens]

​@@salwaabusaad9819 what's wrong with you, even if people didn't ask that. why do you even care?

[@jacksladden3225]

I laughed so hard at no. 4. The quote was all that was needed.

[@bengao2303]

communism is not achieved in days, months or years, it is the long pursuit lasts centuries at least. also how it is pursued.

[@salwaabusaad9819]

Who asked

[@Phonix4003]

@@salwaabusaad9819 I asked

[@LaughingSome]

I was looking for this comment 😂

[@isaacsallad]

@@LaughingSome haha, yep

[@KirbyTheKirb]

I've had the worst 8 months in my life, life crisis, times of no food, unpaid rents, bed ridden from stress and depression sobbing for weeks, cutting ties with someone I loved, I'm so tired, every day, but I know the future holds a lot of possibilities. It's so hard to get out of the chronic tiredness and get things going again, I know things will be okay, I'll find someone who loves me, I'll find peace.

[@gbrl_cyber]

how are you doing nowadays?

[@Blinkers2007GameDev]

"Your work will speak for itself" This is so true. The people around you see it, if you have an ability or you are good at a craft, people will see it. Not that it matters, what matters are the results and how they benefit you

[@GiulianaBruna]

I feel that number 1 is not about blaming ourselves but feeling in control.

[@Christina-cf9ot]

It reminds me of the people who shout "victim blaming" when others talk about taking responsibility for your own safety. Also, "life isn't fair, anyone who says otherwise is selling something."

[@lainiwakura1776]

Yes. Control and being responsible for your reactions to things.

[@odillon0502]

To feel in control is not enough, rather it would only be right if firstly, the person IS in control to actually feel it. One must think rationally in order to achieve an optimal outcome in any dire situation. That includes stating your outcome in terms of your ability, not lack of ability and it must be within your responsibility (no more no less).

[@joed3603]

The quick Number 4 actually left me wheezing. This guy is so hilarious without even trying.

[@rhimiles]

Truly!

[@G0TIMAN]

he tries too much xD

[@revolaid]

The USSR defeated the Nazis in WW2 and thus saving the word from facism. The USSR won the aerospace race and they were the most advanced nation in the field of medicine. Today Cuba is a great example of it.

[@veroist_]

@@revolaid 1. Fascism was deemed to fail during the war, it was not the soviets who defeated them 2. Yes, they won. But how does that make communism work? Just beacuse they spent hundreds of rubles on dick comparison instead of helping their own people? 3. Were they? How about their healthcare?

[@danielmadrawski6542]

@@revolaid ask people in central and Eastern Europe if they felt “liberated” when the soviets defeated the nazis. Ask especially those that were exiled to Siberia and other remote places where they died while performing forced labor.

[@enzogurijala5464]

Joey, I'm writing this as my gratitude journal entry. I'm grateful for your contribution to the self improvement community. You really contribute great and meaningful ideas to my life, and I appreciate the tremendous amount of effort you put into each video.

[@oliver_siegel]

Agreed 👏

[@anshumanrao8958]

man you have paid a very big role in my self improvement journey. because of you and your fantastic videos i have been improving a lot lately. you have changed my whole view of life completely, from the past one month i have been really more present and more happy and more productive. you have made a huge contribution in your audience's life . keep up the good work and i hope you grow more.

[@ShadeStrayed]

I'm gonna be honest, I've been subscribed to you for 1-2 years and after watching one video back then, I've never felt like I was ready or deserved to watch your videos, like I wouldn't take them in correctly and would avoid altogether, but I still stayed subscribed. I've since moved with some help, had some real jobs and also took and honestly didn't feel like I needed the help anymore, though unsolved past always crawls back and I made a few steps back from that prior progress. The title of this video and seeing it was from you spoke to me, and I knew it was finally time and that I'm ready. I'm ready for the journey through your videos, especially on days when I really need to hear it. I never had anyone to lean on, nobody who would understand me 100%, but what you say makes perfect sense to me, and I couldn't be more glad that I chose to come back to these videos, and that you're still making them. So, thank you.

[@SpecShadow]

Number 4 hits different... as someone who was living in one of those former soviet sattelite country - seeing westerners falling to the same trap, not learning from past mistakes, is depressing because this nightmare will never end.

[@MagisterialVoyager]

If you could say one thing to these westerners on why anyone is better not get into communism as a country, what would you say?

[@Laskofil]

You will lose everything you've tried to get and achieve as a person and society.

[@nikirki25]

Becoming part of the soviet union is the greatest tragedy for my country, Georgia, consequences of which we deal with till this day. I was lucky enough to be born in a free country, yet even I can feel those awful 70 years echo in almost every part of daily life.

[@nikirki25]

@@MagisterialVoyager having freedoms, that we are so used to, taken way. For example a harmless comment or a post on social media resulting legal consequences. Or a certain political view granting you status of "enemy of the people"

@@nikirki25 You aware that the exact things you just said are being done in capitalist countries too right? sorry to tell you, but this idea of a free country is nothing but a dellusion

[@RationalSteve]

I recently fought out of a dark and low place in my life, although I’m still in this place, I’m learning a lot about myself and realizing, truly it will be okay. So to whoever is out there struggling, keep fighting and as I say to myself: Ruck up, move out, move forward.

[@chandrasekharpalepu1379]

I would add just one more. "It is 100% okay to get help". For mental health or physical health. It even applies to professional and personal life. Do not be afraid or ashamed to ask for help or admit you were wrong. Take the help or advice and grow with it.

[@littlelizzzard]

I altered #1 take responsibility of everything that is in your control. “aren’t you tired of delegating the responsibility of your own flourishing onto other people? It’s time you have some confidence in the ability to make decisions for yourself. To assume responsibility over what is in your control. Because at the end of the day, it effects you, so what are you going to do about it.” I think this is healthier then feeling responsible and wanting control over things that are not in your control (because that feels more like an unhealthy coping strategy because you feel like you're not enough); For example you can't control and are not responsible over; how well your business will sell, how you'll feel and what you'll do tomorrow, how people perceive you and if they'll like you, how many views you'll get, how you're mind will react to change/ a new habit/ how it will try to fight you You are in control of; doing your very best to make your business as good as possible & how you handle marketing, making sure you do your best today, being kind to people and giving them your undivided attention, making a good video, ignoring your mind and not listening to it/not feeing it Confidence comes from being okay where you are, and if you want to improve it should come from a place of wanting to be the best version of yourself because that's what you think you deserve and you know you are worth it. So if you’re not confident it’s because you are not okay with where you are, you always feel the need to be better, gotta be smarter, more this, more that. You don’t think you are enough. “The interesting thing is, when people are looking to be more confident. What they chase is achievements, they think they need to achieve more. Which is missing the point, because what it actually does is it places your value in yourself to be conditional on your succes, which is the oppositie of succes. “ dr K

[@trudgemankPhD]

I appreciate that you emphasized self-respect as the essence of loving oneself-too many people out there take "love yourself" as an instruction to overinflate their egos (all that "you're perfect" bullshit), which is ultimately just as bad as always bringing yourself down and hating yourself.

[@BD-mu7ww]

Toxic positivity and toxic negativity are two sides of the same coin. Yet I see both severely constant today. The answer lies somewhere in between, closer to the truth

[@jesusjr5364]

I agree I often find myself looking at my past realizing that all the struggle has just made me stronger. It all depends on how you handle bad times. Treat them like lessons

[@Zonalar]

Aftdr watching this video, i was inspired to read "make your bed". I got the ebook version. Now, several hours later i finished reading it. I haven't read a book for a good 6 years, with maybe one exceptions. I felt paralyzed by the monumental task. Intinidated. Let laziness overcome me. Thinking i cant finish it anyways, seeking excuses. Make your bed is a fantastic book, just as this is a fantastic video. Thank you for your thoughtful advice and carefully-crafted videos. It might seem small, but they inspire me to get out of my very small confines of comfort and dare something new and exciting. To get out of the rut and live life. Thank you.

[@SidraJoy]

I know you're just trying to keep your head above water, I think we all are; but I try to keep these 3 things in mind: 1. We're all only human, don't expect perfection from yourself. Give yourself grace. It's okay to break. It's okay to be angry. It's okay to be sad. It's okay to cry, and - it might seem obvious, but sometimes I think we all struggle with this even more - it's okay to be happy, too. Go easy. We are good people at heart. 2. Don't get lost in your day-to-day. Routine can be mind-numbing. Try not to let yourself become a zombie. Start to take notice of the little things; I have tried regularly noticing how beautiful the simplest things are, and it transforms an ordinary moment into something beautiful. 3. Life is beautiful, don't forget it. Sometimes you just need to pull back, take a second, and just go: "I am alive. I am alive, right this second, and that is amazing." Because it is - life is a miracle. So many infinitesimal things have had to happen in the right place in the right order for you to be here. It might seem random, you might wonder if there's any meaning at all - but don't worry, there is, somehow, some way. And this strange, strange planet, these strange, strange people here, is here for you. The smell in the air after rain, the rumble of thunder, the birds singing in your backyard every morning that we're all usually to busy to hear. This world is a wonderful place. And as Joey said - it might feel dark, it might feel hard, and it is both of those things. But life is also so much more. And I know you don't remember after being in the dark for so long, but I promise, it will get better. The sun has always been just above the clouds, ready to come down again. :)

[@amarnathde2174]

4:00 a very important point there. i dont have friends because of the same reason. i always felt that if i help someone, then he/she should help me back, and if they did't i cutoff them, ghosted them. dont do that. if you want to help, be unconditional. otherwise help yourself first then other.

[@MagisterialVoyager]

I _do_ need to hear this! Thank you, Joey. You're absolutely on the money regarding continue being mindful, compassionate, and productive in trying times. Thanks for the reminder. All the best luck with everything.

[@halyketarrant]

Thank you for the last one. Depression sucks. It helps to hear thing like this, sometimes. 🖤

[@mrmomin4606]

Ya it does suck. But we'll make it as long as we keep going and believing in ourselves, we'll make it for sure!

[@AyyDeJay]

the first one I've also heard as "no one is coming to save you" as you have to do basically everything yourself for example getting in shape sure you can pay a personal trainer but if you don't force yourself to be displined no amount of shouting or encouragement from someone else will help you you have to save yourself

[@anewlife6423]

Number 2 is HUGE. The last couple months was the worst time of my life, and I would say that I hate myself multiple times a day. I was doing awful in every facet. But the past weeks… with the right combination of therapy, medications, and new habits, I’ve turned a new leaf. I’m finally the person I want to be and do things I want to do. I now am starting to love myself. And now I’m better than ever socially and I’m a better and more empathetic person

[@JohnBradydoesstuff]

I’ve been in recovery for 11 years. The single most useful piece of recovery advice I’ve ever heard is point number one. If you really understand and implement that, the whole world opens up for you. Keep up the good work. ❤❤❤

[@jackcarlos]

Dude #2 is huge. Can you make another video on this in detail? Like how do you reframe your mind to respect yourself and not require external validation? And how do you do this in a way that doesn't lead to #3 (being arrogant)?

[@johnklus]

As someone who just got out of a deep and dark depression, I can tell you. It will get better if you have the will to make adjustments. Don't be afraid to talk to someone wether its a friend or family member or better yet a therapist. Talking helps and is a step closer to figuring things out. Also eating better and trying to get more optimal sleep will help. These are all gradual things you can take to combat it.

[@warriorsoul7893]

The best advice is given by people who have experienced these situations in life. And the best advice received is by people who are experiencing these situations in life. Sounds like u know what ur talking about, appreciate it 🙏🏼

[@MASmeinezeit]

To the first rule: That's actually what I learned the last couple of years struggling with mental health. If you are lucky you got people around that try to help he and want you to get better. But in the end it's your job. You need to lift up your ass and get things done. I don't speak for everyone and I surely didn't have the worst mental health issues, but for my part I learned that I need to get going on things. Working out, get things done on my job, plan my future and get after it so I can live the life I really want and not live someone elses life. That is actually pretty hard every day. But I feel better when I do it. I feel better when I fall into my bed at the end of the day. So, get help from others if you need it. Don't be shy to ask. But it's still you who have to pull yourself out of the water.

[@fiery_aries1293]

I resonate so much with number 2. When you don't love yourself you will be seeking love and validation from others forcefully. Your relationships will be passive aggressive, unauthentic, resentful.. I hope you do a video on this topic!

[@MonjoosE]

Joey i just want to say thank you, thank you so much I have turned my entire life around because of you. You are the best teacher I have ever had in my life, your videos alone are guiding me to this never ending journey of self discovery and happiness. You've made a bigger impact on my life than anyone I have ever seen or spoken to. Please keep doing what you do, you are a truly amazing person!

[@user-Legaleagle]

Agreed such wisdom

[@majortom7851]

I've been in a major slump lately. This helps. I need to take care of myself even when myself doesn't feel like it!

[@georgek14]

Another fantastic video, thanks man. Just wanted to say that in the last 12 months I quit my awful job for a great new one, landed my first ever long term relationship, and I'm currently in the process of buying my first house. Not that I'm hinting at any linkages here but I've now been watching your channel for around a year so...keep it up!

[@Sinner987]

for #5, i was storming the weather for almost 10 years, but it was the love for my family that kept me going even when i thought of ending it, because i thought id never be happy, im 29 now and those 10 years have helped so much with my current perspective ive also recently finished welding school and got a certificate, and business school is done too, im doing my exercises, so yeah, ive learned to love myself, and others

[@ChrisThomasBone]

Towards the end, you remind me of something that a friend told me after my first breakup, "If you came out of it knowing more about yourself than when it started, that time wasn't a waste." I subscribe to you because you have great wisdom, along with a passion for helping others and sharing knowledge. I believe this is what has propelled humanity as far as we've come. I hope you'll allow me to reciprocate in this small way. Every economic system ever implemented has failed, by one measure or another. Sure there may be different pros/cons, but participating or even inviting debate over which is all-around better, unlike a bad relationship, is time wasted. Cooperation, collaboration, and selflessness are what keep any population going, which you definitely appear to understand. History has demonstrated that no political or economic system can survive these aspects of humanity failing, and that any system will flourish as these aspects thrive. As always man, it's a great video, and I enjoyed watching. You are a positive influence on a lot of people. Thanks for being you

[@sofiashevtsova365]

I like the note about our responsibility. It's a bit of a fresh concept for me. I am not the blaming external factors person, I've learned to focus more on what can be done. However, the fact that it is my responsibility not only to deal with the situation I'm in but also to search for answers, set goals, keep going, to be in a better mood is what I needed to hear. The current situation and the circumstances that led to it shook my beliefs and the base of my life in a way. Even though it was obviously my responsibility to adapt in order to survive, I was still petrified and left with questions like 'how can I do that/be that if this situation happened' which kept me in the everlasting circle of pondering and sorrow

[@Eliza-98]

6:18 communism has failed every time it was tried 8:56 I just want to give a big thank you to audible, a subsidiary of amazon. Amazon, that company that's choking out competitors, busting unions, and sucking the soul out of all its subisiaries to make Jeff Bezos enough money to mess around in space and break the basic rules of capitalism as they were intended to be. I'm being sponsered by them now, since they've been pushing for a monopoly on sponsoring online content creators for forever and thus my choices are limited. 😂 Thanks for the video Joey, it's a high quality one as usual. #4 is definitely facutally correct, but we all know that it's used to dismiss communism and sometimes even socialism as inherently terrible political ideologies. This is unproductive at best, malicious at worst. We can only improve our societies if we don't voluntarily put on blinders when thinking of valid criticisms and solutions.

[@ineffablecraving8697]

Very well said!

[@EatYorCrust]

You're definitely correct on the fact that life is really tough. I'm a doctor and just matched across the country away from vancouver and my whole family and everything i've ever known. The first few weeks of knowing this was really dark. But now i feel i'm a bit more resilient to the fact. especially after having some compassion for myself and acknowledging that i'm doing okay, and not every day is gonna be 10/10

[@justinweathers91]

Match as in

[@TheCactuar124]

@@justinweathers91 Moved maybe?

[@ReidEvers]

@@justinweathers91 Matched to a residency program (to train for a given speciality) after graduating from medical school.

[@samuelcrawford1611]

Thanks Joey

[@Npc404Err16]

Thank you

[@SerhiiZdk]

I subscribed to your channel a long time ago when I was at my, let's say, high form. I finally found a way to develop my career, fell in love and really raise the standard of living. Now is completely different. There is a war in my country, I lost my job and the other one paused for an indefinite period of time. I feel like I lost my ground and couldn't find a way to bounce back. So I wanna thank you for this video and your whole channel. It hit different when you're stumbling and it helps me feeling a bit better.

[@corinnervillaret]

Stay strong 💪☺. Things will get better eventually, you and your love ones will be ok. A warm hug! God bless you.

[@samanthabomba8196]

This video is amazing, thank you, truly. You really feel like the future version of each and everyone one of us who is struggling right now but still wants to make it, and you are the one that made it and is trying to help us out too. I appreciate the words and effort you put into these videos to give us the push needed to do it. Timing is perfect too, exactly today I wrote down every single aspect of my life I want to change since the second half of the year is officially here :) We got this❤️

[@rollandjoeseph]

What are your struggles and what do you mean by "making it"? Peace and happiness come from inside, not on the hollow notion of fame ..✌️

[@samanthabomba8196]

@@rollandjoeseph I never mentioned fame as a solution for every struggle ahah, by "making it" I mean overcoming and doing better from the bad habits and thoughts that bring us down, instead of making us happier with our lives or stronger in any way :)

[@rollandjoeseph]

@@samanthabomba8196 well, Joey hasn't "made it" either , he talks a good talk but it seems to me he's got issues like the rest of us😉

[@MiketheNerdRanger]

I think I've finally figured out what my problem with the saying "take responsibility" is. A hard pill for me to swallow was that despite how we may look at it, blame and responsibility are intrinsically linked, period, and blame is in *no* way constructive, especially not to people with crippling mental and self judgement issues, like me. Basically hearing "it's not your fault, but it's all your fault" has only made things worse for me, but I couldn't articulate that. Now I see it differently, and it works better for me; *FORGET* responsibility. It's too narrow a way to look at things. What matters is when something goes wrong in your life, it is often in your best interest to take action, whether your responsible or not. I think that's what's being said when people say "take responsibility for _____," and I've actually finally saw change within my life. Please let me know if I'm wrong.

[@hish33p32]

Stoicism isn't masochism. Stoicism is the acceptance of the tragedy that happens to you while you keep moving forward, working hard and changing things that are inside the scope of your power. Stoicism doesn't mean accepting life is harsh so all we can do is accept it and not fight back, if your family is in legit danger from an armed man then self defense against the common enemy is the #1 course of action, there's no more need to know about the backstory of the man who's about to kill your family, you do what makes sense and it doesn't make you less stoic if you fight back, not fighting back would be masochism not stoicism.

[@MiketheNerdRanger]

@@hish33p32 I think I understand what you're saying, but I'm not sure what this means in the context of what I was saying. Stoicism? Masochism? I wasn't saying what I was saying through either lens, and I was specifically *not* saying that we should stand there and take it. My point was that I was able to better mobilize myself by shedding not only blame, but what we call "responsibility," because it really doesn't matter who is responsible, only that action is taken. I'm not sure if you read my entire comment so I'm reiterating here.

[@hish33p32]

@@MiketheNerdRanger I'm saying that's ehat Stoicism is, taking action because you yourself is aware that nobody is at fault for their inaction. But when more people become stoic the less the world has to suffer, but human nature says otherwise, 90% of people are irrational perspectivists and we can't do anything about it. So the only thing to do is keep moving forward

[@valentino1646]

I like your take more. It's better for you to do sth about it, whether or not you're the reason things went wrong. Improving your situation is a plus over not doing anything or doing the opposite. So do it for the plus if not anything else.

[@sparkstudies1675]

For me I think it was just a harsh truth, and that's all. Someone else may have been responsible for helping to put me where I am, but it's my life, I am now responsible for getting myself out of there as an adult. A way I've heard someone else put it that I liked, was "it's your fault, but it is your problem." Essentially the same thing you are saying. However you choose to think of it, at the core, you are correct in your assessment. It's not about assigning fault and blame for the cause, it is about giving power to the one who can find and implement a solution - you.

[@serv1894]

Thank you so much for this video. I have never had any self love or confidence in my life and I’ve always tried to get that from other people. I’ve always done things to impress others or complimented them in order to get attention back. But recently ive come to the realization that its my job to love myself and shouldn’t expect that from anyone one else. I’ve realized that i cant give love to someone else until I’ve started to love myself. Thank you so much for this video. From now on I’ll work on improving myself and learning to love myself and having confidence in my abilities.

[@leoncastillosm]

"Focus on the craft, not the corner office, because 99 out of a 100, your work will speak for itself". Gold nugget right here.

[@Rafael081296]

#2 is something im still trying to learn, self love & responsibility towards your own happiness. It's tough, after years of self loathing and harm, it's not as simple as flipping a switch. It takes a lot of effort, mainly in the form of consistency. Without discipline, it's near impossible to accomplish. I'm trying, but damn is it a mindfuck.

[@candlestyx8517]

In my case, the self loathing/hatred was borderline personality disorder.

[@musicclub5946]

I'm going through shoulder dislocation after an open surgery after I have suffered from it 6 years, now I'm back to the starting point. I hope things will be okey

[@hasandalbudak4531]

2:15 that's the worst attempt of eating a chip I have ever seen in my life.

[@betterideas]

HAHAHA

[@JazzGaming26]

This is very true. I had a friend who is a big people pleaser and has to seek approval from others for everything they do. You can't please everyone so focus on your own happiness no matter what.

[@avinavdoonga2429]

Thank You Joey. Waited long for this one.

[@darknes312]

I did need this, thank you ❤️

[@mattiafidente122]

I love your contents man, you’re such an inspiration to me. I would really like a video about enjoying the process of our activities and find joy in the daily routine instead of constantly obsessing ourselves with our end goal and bigger picture still being aware of where we’re going to. I think this might be a great video idea: keep it up.

[@jantrada8824]

thanks a lot, I needed to hear these 5 things indeed haha. I wouldn't say my current situation is that tragic, but I'm currently feeling stuck financially and in terms of career, feeling hopeless. I am the only one responsible for un-stucking myself, not my boss, not my family, or whoever. I've also been struggling with self-love and have been telling myself that I'm incapable and incompetent, so I relied heavily on external approval. Again, it's actually not that hopeless for me if I think about it because there are actually a few ways for me to go from here, but it all depends on whether or not I want to take any of those paths, and I must if I think I deserve better in life. No more waiting from this point.

[@maddiewall3990]

Bro I am goin through a tough period and you fill me with love and compassion for myself every time I watch your videos, thanks so much for the work you do and the naked mole rat message you spread❤️❤️

[@alfiesolomon3531]

Happy you exist man. Ur videos felt in my feeds in the right period and love every single one of them. Subbed liked everything... Also nr.4 made me stand up and applaud while laughing.

[@TheFDream]

I just hope i work through this depression.

[@groink5571]

Big Chungus

[@alouette.t2879]

It took me years to learn these things. I'm so glad this is out here, reaching more people, so that maybe even a few won't have to struggle and flounder as much to learn the same lessons

[@pgm_2576]

you're one of the best channels I've ever seen here in yt, you spread real life realizations that is relevant and can be reflective and applied long-term. it only can't be used by one but most people out there.

[@TheNaturalAngle]

Facing medical emergency at home for the past 4 months and it is ruining my own health as well as career. It SUCKS...

[@Ellie-vm2tc]

“As long as you’re voluntary willing to confront whatever you’re situation is, with humility and perseverance, something good always come from it.” the “with humility and perseverance” really hit me. if you treat yourself with humility and perseverance, just imagine how far you can go! With the Lord’s help, you can go SO far! may God bless you with those things toward others and yourself!

[@reginald7522]

Just wondering, for #3, is it entitlement to think that you deserve love and respect from a parent? Since I’m in online school and work full time, I spend most of my time around my family, but I have a lot of issues with my parents. I feel conflicted about it since I know they’re going through a lot too, but idk I feel like I’m being selfish when I wish they could treat me like their child and not like a burden.

[@GoldenMushroom64]

No disrespect, but read #3 again. We are not entitled to anything. Not even parental love. If that were the case all parents would be good to their children and that is most certainly not the case

[@thorwarth]

According to Erich fromm (whom I recommend to read) there are 2 types of love: paternal (conditional) and maternal (unconditional). They are not necessarily linked to the respecting sex. In a perfect world you get both of them from your parents. Imagine your parents split up, then you end up with only one of these types. And since we live in a capitalist society (which is not a criticism) the paternal one is preferred, however government does a big job with the maternal one because of the welfare programs. The problem with love is that it's damn complicated and most of the people that are in love don't understand it. Most of the time you chose your partner unconsciously because he's as fucked up as you. And maybe both your parents are on the paternal side, they push each other to become a better person, have high demands and their default is "doing" instead of "being". And that has positive aspects as well. But what I'd suggest you in that situation is acknowledge it, speak with them about it (without being judgemental, your parents didn't grow up to become how you want them to be, they are just themselves) and maybe find friends in your social circle that substitute the maternal love that you need. Cheers

[@highonquack6622]

I wouldn't consider it entitlement, it's something your parents should be giving you. It's not selfish or entitled to want love and respect from a parent. The important thing is knowing your self worth doesn't hinge on their love and respect. You can love and respect yourself.

[@reginald7522]

@@GoldenMushroom64 I ask that you also read my comment again then. I asked if it counts as entitlement to want parental love. Not whether I’m gonna get it or not. I’m aware that ideally, I wouldn’t be asking this question but I would like to know if I’m being selfish about it or if I’m the problem and I just need to accept and get over it.

[@gilGames82]

I relate man. It's tough.

[@robbiemoore-coaching]

So I just found your channel and you're an incredible human being. I love that you're pushing this content out. I myself have struggled with a lot of things in my life but I'm so proud of the version that I am today. It took a lot of self seeking and self investments and it was so worth it. I'm going to add you in my weekly video watch so I can gain a lot of wisdom from you I can see a great lighting you and you remind me a little bit of myself.

[@user-pl4lo1lm2j]

6:18 Unexpectedly based

[@StuffIwannaRemember]

I found your channel 3 days ago and most of what I've seen I agree 100% and I learned some of it on my own while reflecting on my life but I needed to be reminded of Alot of it and God I admire how well you've distilled these important thoughts. Thank you!! Sincerely sir! and this is the only video I watched twice to truly absorb it and if there's any feedback that may help you as much as you've helped me may I say that when I just listen to your videos I absorb and connect with them so much more, when I watch im distracted by seeing your vision of your perspective that you've captured and edited whereas listening to you I apply my own expirences in the context that you present, imagining it as if it were my conscience breaking through to tell me what I need to hear. Thank you!

[@carl1164]

I have another thing that helps me everyday, whenever I feel sad. Humans are not made to be happy all the time. We are meant to do only two things: Survival and Reproduce, just like any other animal or organism. Even tho we think, (and see on social medias), that everyone is happy, it is not the case. It is wierd to be happy all the time. So next time you feel sad, just think that your life is how it should be.

[@A1Kamon]

This dropped at a good time for me👌

[@AkMcDichael]

Really needed to hear #4, thank you.

[@diom00]

Haven't you heard it a million times already?

[@AkMcDichael]

@@diom00 sometime my friend, you need to be reminded once in a while. Do you cease to tell your girlfriend of wife they're beautiful inside and out? Do you cease to tell those you cherish that you love them. Do you cease to remind those down on their luck that it will get better? Sometimes a gentle reminder is all that is needed.

[@AkMcDichael]

@@diom00 nah I'm just messin around bro it was just funny as hell

[@fixafix69]

Number 4 being mentioned without explanation, completely out of the blue make zero sense. What the hell? And it isn't even correct, commits China is on the same level of superpower than the US, and they ARE communist. Just because they aren't the specific type of pro people communist everyone here wanted, it doesn't mean they aren't or that it didn't work and is working as intended. If you wanted pro people countries, it's called socialism and it has been working literally better than the US for 30 years in North Europe so I legit have no idea what the channel was talking about

[@jjQlLlLq]

Normally in the past I would be like "yeah I agree, ego makes you suffer, we gotta take actual actions for our responsibilities". I 100% agree that ego makes us suffer, but y'know, being in charge & taking responsibility is not pleasurable. It's not fun. It sounds noble or whatever the word is to some people, and some motivational people out there say "it's not that bad, it gives you xyz benefits". But in practice, it's a world of pain - especially to people with severe anxiety, personality disorders, ADHD, c/PTSD, etc. To the point that I'm not surprised when there are people who've become so dead inside, don't feel fitting in society and they're ready for their lives to just be taken away to the void. Taking responsibilities is hard, and it's even harder to some people with executive dysfunction like me. It is not pleasurable. It's a necessity. A necessity so that we won't suffer even more than we would've if we hadn't taken responsibility. In the end, we're all doing our best to cope from the sadism that is Life. Wanting to be pampered away from responsibilities after being a responsible human the whole day doesn't mean you're weak. Life is just a hard mistress to please.

[@AllineWork91]

Maybe trying developing a relationship with God. Life is hard, you weren't meant to do it without Him. I use to have crippling anxiety and depression, major anger issues, complained all the time...I havent experienced any of that stuff ever since that day I let Him in. Consider giving him a chance, He's waiting for you.

[@Superhero-Motivation]

I appreciate this transparency dude. I love self-improvement, but I think it’s sometimes it’s just okay and human to not being able to be that better version of yourself. I think we could strive for it, but it doesn’t need to be that black and white.

[@rollandjoeseph]

It's called growing up and being responsible, grab life and run with it..everyone has their own issues but it's up to US to deal with them, life isn't meant to be easy, find your inner strength ,you can do it!

[@youtubesucks5131]

might be pain, but not doing anything is also pain. but the latter also includes that nothing changes. so either you suffer pain but are able to make your circumstances better, or you suffer pain and do not improve anything. also the world is not black and white. you can pamper yourself every evening as much as you like. as an adult human being, you're allowed to do that. nobody expects you to suddenly change and turn your life around completely - nobody but you, maybe. if so, expect less. take smaller steps. plus in the end it is about character as well. some people can not tolerate living in a slump forever because they don't want to be this person. some people are fed up one day and start climbing out of the bucket because they can't accept less of themselves. some people simply get so bored with the bucket they voluntarily take on a different kind of pain (climbing out).

[@jjQlLlLq]

@@AllineWork91 I'm guessing you meant the Christian god. But I was never a Christian. And for multiple reasons, I'm not interested in the Abrahamic god. I do dabble in some other ways of spiritual practices though. I just haven't followed one consistently.

[@Yee20234]

My mom nearly died a year ago from a stroke out of nowhere. Im currently 17 and my mom is just lying in our living room, depending on a tube that is feeding her. My father and i care for her and sometimes we get help from some doctors, coming over to check on her. The doctors said that they cant do anything to help her as they finished with the operation to stop the bleeding in the brain. She just lies there... unresponsive. Its honestly disturbing to experience something like that and right now its unthinkable for me that "everything will be ok". This sh*t has ruined my family and i dont know how to cope with the "near death" of my mother. I just hope you are right. I just hope everything will be fine.

[@wynellferguson8979]

We need you man

[@thejoe4975]

I was not ready for #4 😂

[@petebrown3822]

"If you have big muscles you aren't entitled to a hot girlfriend." True but the same goes the other way too, hot girls with hundreds of Tinder notifications aren't entitled to Henry Cavill. I feel like self-improvement is always kinda solely directed at men, even unconsciously. This is frustrating with issues such as entitlement, which in my experience is far more prevalent in women than men, so a women centric example would have been nice. And no this isn't me picking a tiny line out of a 12 minute video and scrutinising it x

[@Nesseay]

“I feel like self-improvement is always kinda solely directed at men” Could you please expand on why you think so? My experience have been otherwise.

[@petebrown3822]

@@Nesseay Really? It surprises me that is your experience. It seems like society tells women they are perfect just as they are, and they shouldn't change for anybody. Whereas if a guy isn't weight lifting five times a week, working a decent job, super confident and charismatic, having an active social life, a few interesting hobbies, has his own place etc etc then he is a joke and don't deserve nothing

[@Nesseay]

@@petebrown3822 I agree that there is definitely more space in the media to accept women as they are, but the reason why so is because of the impossible expectations that they would need to meet - be beautiful, smart, ambitious but not too independent, look gorgeous but not try too hard etc. I think there is an expectation towards both genders and in my experience men can get away with more. I know personally more women who care for self-reflection and self-improvement than men. But it's just a different life-experience. :)

[@ineffablecraving8697]

@@petebrown3822 I’m a guy that does basically none of that, and I feel like I’ve got it pretty good when it comes to the expectations people have of me, and the respect that I am given. I think part of that might have to do with the social circles you belong to; some groups are much more toxic than others. But I do think that overall, on average, women have much higher expectations placed on them by society than men.

[@peterivan22]

Awesome video Joey, it reminds me of a quote I heard at some point, somewhere, "that life is 10% what happens to you, and 90% how you respond to it." ✌️

[@raulfabioriva9652]

Thanks man

[@nicozheng8371]

That’s right. Life is very tough, especially when greed at a higher risk for people and then life scare everyone out of the mystery because the life itself would treat other failure and then people would be enemy at all times! To do this right for me is to always owe them back and then I would give them money to people in need and I would help my friend pay for their prices. We need everybody in their parents to please teach them lesson and then help them because it’s unfair to the reality and elevate human life.

[@AlxRayn]

I think the world really needs to hear number 4 right now. Great video!

[@ty16080]

3:10 "Bold and brash" - is this a reference to Squidward's painting or is it just a common phrase lol

[@TheBrilliantBrick]

More like belongs in the trash

[@justinpettit8282]

Number 4 was a good no bs filler 🤣

[@MaximBuerger]

I have now learned that not the life itself but beeing yourself and dealing with your emotions is the hardest thing in life. The power of imagination is great but it can also ruin your life. Overthinking (negatively) ist the worst thing we are dealing with and taking over control of our thoughts is our greatest mission. I just think that probably the solution lies in giving your head less time to think by engaging yourself in some tasks like workout, talking, walking with someone and even working (after finally starting to work). And the other part of the day you should be aware of your thoughts which should be positive in outcome. Good luck to everyone who is having a hard time. The theory is clear, but implementing it is damn hard. I'll try to try.

[@alcurtis93]

1 is locus of control. In case anyone wants to go and study it 2 is self compassion

[@avidhossanmansur9830]

The 3 quotes that read aloud every day without fail, “You could leave life right now. Let that determine what you do and say and think.” - Marcus Aurelius. Meditations 2.11 ''But life is very short and anxious for those who forget the past, neglect the present, and fear the future.” ― Seneca “Man is not worried by real problems so much as by his imagined anxieties about real problems” ― Epictetus

[@Kyssifrot]

Maybe it wasn't a great idea to go so quickly for number 4 :D

[@imgrabt]

Bro had to drop this at 3 am

[@likatskitishvili8403]

Listening to you, I find myself nodding in agreement all the time. I feel like you are a person one would want in their lives and I bet you're a good influence on your friends and close circle. I find myself coming back to you, like to a friend in need of advice. I guess, I want to thank you, for doing what you're doing. Trying to apply what you're saying to life is enjoyable, because there is a lot of sense in what you're saying. Thanks again. ☺

[@Justthelma5]

Thank you so much,, You can also try Bishop Fulton Sheen

[@nicholasgrijalva5842]

Number 2 honestly resonated with me so deeply. Ive noticed that often everything I do feels like "an exchange." exactly how he put it. I felt like even when I meant something (a compliment, etc) that I was still being insincere in some way because I expected something in return. Acting out of abundance instead of scarcity can do wonders for you. Im going to do my best to respect myself and love myself more.

[@dev7584]

right on time. exactly what i needed to hear at exactly the right time. almost spooky. =) thank you

[@phantolus4161]

I've been in a really tough situation for the past couple months and it's been feeling like everything is going wrong for me, even though I work really hard every day, and I felt like life's been extremely unfair... This video won't solve my problems and make my troubles go away, and I will still probably have a lot of pain to go through until this period is over, but I found the ideas in the video really interesting and helpful. I think that if use them to gradually change my perspective I might just get better. Thanks a lot!

[@chris_kiely]

I don’t know what you’re going through and don’t need to, but I believe in you. You got this.

[@ComfortAjibola]

You're gonna pull through. You're doing your best and that's all there is to that. Like he mentioned when you look back you'll learn so much about yourself and those around you now, these lessons can be painful but ultimately they really help us move forward as wiser people. You've got this. Keep showing up for yourself however you can.

[@Ky-k]

Everything discussed as behavior of an insecure person sounded a lot like me. But, I love myself and take care of myself pretty thoroughly. I was depressed for a long time and used my friends around me and their affection as an escape. They’re gone now and I do what I can to take care of myself, but I still crave the validation of others. When I look at myself in the mirror, instead of thinking ‘wow I look great today’, I think ‘I look great today but I wish you were here to see it and think that too.’ Maybe I’m just lonely and missing them? It gets frustrating that even though I respect and take care of myself, nobody else is here to back me up and appreciate me. Like, damn, what’s the point of being so… ME if nobody else is loving it and seeing it? Why is it so easy for me to love and see the value of others? How do I fix that mindset? Is that an okay mindset to have? I want to be the best most available version of myself before getting back into a relationship.

[@rieloop5770]

this helped sooooo much its like a pep talk from a brother i dont have

[@KingCorphish]

This was a good video, thank you for that, Joey. I appreciate you, I appreciate the work you’re doing, and I just appreciate... us. I appreciate the audience members, and I appreciate living life to it’s fullest. ❤️👍🏻

[@eugendobkin1018]

RYE BRYE

[@cypress2647]

#4. Yes, and I have also failed at many things every time I've tried, but you said it yourself not to give up 😊

[@Altairego]

Thank you for that Joey, I'm currently reading the power of your subconscious mind which ties in quite nicely with this video. I've come a long way fighting my depression and personal negative habits but I hit a little bump recently, so I'm taking a step back and revisiting my self improvement habits to get back up and get ahead of the action again! This video was perfect.

[@zaygroovie3311]

We’re all flawed bro, Keep striving for better!!! 🤥🤙🏾💙

[@Turtlefrenchfry]

One thing to mention is that crutches are not a negative thing. Crutches help you walk, they might get you to the next spot of your journey. Leaning on others for external validation might in turn validate your feelings too. Nothing wrong with that, so long as you do the leg work on your end too and apply the positives someone else brings to your life. We ultimately need others to feel good about ourselves. Having no friends, or no supportive family is a tough situation, I met one person, and they gave me the strength I needed to get out of the spot I was in, external validation isn't bad, and crutches help you walk, but you still need to put in the work to heal yourself.

[@muzaffarduysenbekov588]

1. Everything is my responsibility, meaning that no one is going to develop my mental health, social life and overall wellbeing. I myself am responsible for all of them. 2. Love yourself more and treat yourself with respect, which can make your life easier. 3. Nobody owes you anything. 4. It is going to be okay. If you stick with something for a long time, something good will happen.

[@simantalirainbattise8578]

I hope you are well friend. I hope you’re sleeping well and that the air you breath is light and the people around you make you vibrant. Have a wonderful day and life and thank you for your advice