How the body keeps the score on trauma | Bessel van der Kolk for Big Think+

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Big Think

Big Think

Күн бұрын

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@ChristellaBihozo
@ChristellaBihozo Жыл бұрын
A year of trauma informed therapy absolutely changed my life. I genuinely think therapy should be a human right just like anything related to healthcare.
@amethystdream8251
@amethystdream8251 Жыл бұрын
I want to agree with you. I went to therapy for over a decade, came out of it with a PTSD diagnosis but no treatment for it. Saw multiple therapists over the years. There are some of us for whom therapists never got training for. I came out of therapy feeling uncared for by humanity and disgusted with human nature. Maybe what we also need are capitalism and patriarchy informed therapists. Because the economic and political systems we live in are contributing to the trauma for a lot of us.
@peterjrmoore3941
@peterjrmoore3941 Жыл бұрын
⁠​⁠​⁠@@amethystdream8251W Reich wrote quite a bit about how patriarchy and non equalitarian systems keep people armored (his word for trauma in the body). As you may know, Reich basically invented somatic therapy but was hounded by FDA and AMA - 1,000's of his books were burned in NYC and Reich died in prison on a technicality. When people receive this type of therapy they not only get well within themselves but also restructure their relationships and work lives - and just cannot act against others. This is too much of a threat to our system Perhaps this is why this presenter distances himself from this legacy. If you want to read a biography of Reich, Sharaf's Fury on Earth is very good. Sharaf was trained by Reich and trained Dr Kolk in Somatic, specifically orgone psychotherapy. But the author mentions neither Reich nor Sharaf!
@AyjayAlleyway
@AyjayAlleyway Жыл бұрын
No one’s labor can be a right
@ChristellaBihozo
@ChristellaBihozo Жыл бұрын
@@AyjayAlleyway education is a right in most countries and involves people’s labour… I’ll stop at one example and let you do your research ;)
@zonedoyestander
@zonedoyestander Жыл бұрын
@@AyjayAlleyway I disagree with you, and I love those that take on the burden of "fruitless" labor voluntarily.
@helenvann3506
@helenvann3506 11 ай бұрын
The thing I’ve learned is that trauma doesn’t always mean big things like assault. There can be a series of micro traumas that can accumulate and give the same result
@lucyferos205
@lucyferos205 11 ай бұрын
Not the same level of severity, no, but that doesn't mean it's not still a serious problem
@JulieVDK01396
@JulieVDK01396 11 ай бұрын
No not true...
@Furretmaniacs
@Furretmaniacs 11 ай бұрын
Cptsd right? I forgot the actual name
@jamesbeaupry9207
@jamesbeaupry9207 11 ай бұрын
​@@FurretmaniacsComplex PTSD
@ShesHalfAPerson
@ShesHalfAPerson 11 ай бұрын
could be cptsd
@hopsiepike
@hopsiepike Жыл бұрын
Perhaps the most painful aspect of dealing with trauma is being conditioned into believing that one’s response is exaggerated, that what happened is trivial, and thus the built-in guilt and shame that blocks any real progress and healing.
@lorimills7158
@lorimills7158 11 ай бұрын
What an inside job this healing of trauma. It really is secondary victimization, in a sense, to share a traumatic event then be told by others that it wasn't that bad or that they know people who went through way worse stuff and to just move on.
@faith4today
@faith4today 11 ай бұрын
Yes, I am learning to appreciate more and more the knowledge of these things, having grown up with a lot of trauma and resulted anxiety that I never much understood, as it not only helps me, but with God's help I can be a better aid to helping others who suffer with it.
@robynhope219
@robynhope219 11 ай бұрын
Yep, I dump ppl who say things like that like yesterday’s news!
@MJ-gj6mj
@MJ-gj6mj 11 ай бұрын
This is really a thing for anyone who has been in a relationship with a narcissist! They really will try to downplay your feelings and responses to the trauma they are causing! That can def be a block to healing if you allow it.
@lovinglighthouseecs9836
@lovinglighthouseecs9836 9 ай бұрын
very discouraging for people trying to heal!
@SouthernGothicYT
@SouthernGothicYT 3 ай бұрын
"You're not crazy, your environment is" - my therapist
@cloudsinmylungs2649
@cloudsinmylungs2649 Ай бұрын
thank you for this
@salgaldenco
@salgaldenco Ай бұрын
That's the most intelligent statement I've heard in a long time. Thank you.
@joefs1804
@joefs1804 26 күн бұрын
This is brilliant. Thank you!
@o.h.w.6638
@o.h.w.6638 11 ай бұрын
At 44 I just realized I don’t have bad posture, I kept my core collapsed inward because I spent my childhood protecting myself from being randomly hit by my mom everyday. It’s hard to remind myself no one is going to hit me anymore.
@ama2065
@ama2065 9 ай бұрын
are you telling me that at 44 you still remind yourself no one is going to hit you? I thought I would forget when i grow older because that is what everyone says is going to happen. When do you start feeling safe?
@fiapec
@fiapec 9 ай бұрын
⁠​⁠@@ama2065today i got out of a 10 month abusive relationship. i threatened to call the cops if he didn't leave, and he threatened to let them find me dead if i pursued the call. i have never felt more out of control of my life and my body. i would find myself flinching at the smallest things already. all i can say is we will go through the trauma together, separately. it is something that should pass with time, and we should constantly remind ourselves of the strength our own bodies provide for us. you will heal🫶🏼 you will feel safe the moment you allow yourself to
@ttgyuioo
@ttgyuioo 9 ай бұрын
It's called body armor
@andressapradomendes1978
@andressapradomendes1978 9 ай бұрын
i spend so much time thinking shes going to appear anywhere, anytime, and hit me, that i spend all the time scared
@jenniferslovak2623
@jenniferslovak2623 8 ай бұрын
Answer the fear with THIS. WILL. NOT. BREAK. ME!!! You scream it if you must. Do not stop saying it until you believe it. Your story is not going to end with you broken. No ma'am or sir, your story will say look what tore me down. Then I rebuilt myself. You have been through the worst, what is left that can take you down? Nothing. I want you to know that you are strong, you are worthy, and you will move past this. Our mind is similar to a record player. It will play whatever record YOU choose. I would highly recommend some sort of self protection class. You are on a journey and will get to where you need to be. I am rooting for you and I know you are capable of great things. I feel like I am rambling but I sure hope it sparks something within. God Bless
@billbucktube
@billbucktube Жыл бұрын
There are traumas of neglect as well. When we grow up in an environment that doesn’t show you that you are loved and valued we don’t learn to love ourselves. When we don’t have it modeled for us we find it difficult to accept it about ourselves. As a result other traumas reinforce this worthless feeling. When our parents don’t take time to go to our school plays, games or graduations we are being taught that we are not worth their time. Internally, we feel worthless. Especially when we see all the other parents urging their kids on.
@silverpenn3809
@silverpenn3809 Жыл бұрын
Story of my life
@billbucktube
@billbucktube Жыл бұрын
@@silverpenn3809 It is tough to recognize it at all. It is tough to then reject the lies that come from that neglect. Since it is hidden in our subconscious it feels like an embedded “truth” about us. Doing the exercises she gives us tools to use will expose those lies. Once we have them clearly exposed we can replace the lies with the truth. That part is a long haul job. There is no “microwave solution” to a “crock pot” problem! My difficulty is recognizing when I’m reacting out of those lies and stop and apply the truth.
@EA-tx8ef
@EA-tx8ef Жыл бұрын
I can relate
@Spungle15
@Spungle15 11 ай бұрын
The last 2 sentences of your comment totally didn’t hit me like a truck 😢
@silverpenn3809
@silverpenn3809 11 ай бұрын
@@Spungle15 same
@stingerzing4063
@stingerzing4063 Жыл бұрын
This explains why there is such a heightened agitation after the pandemic. The collective trauma felt by the the fear, the lockdowns, and the rise in addiction are all around us today.
@GMPOFloyd
@GMPOFloyd Жыл бұрын
I'd say it sums up to the trend that existed before 2020. You had political extremism and polarization? What about now? You had a drug epidemic? Well, how about now? And the thing goes on and on.
@RightSideNews
@RightSideNews Жыл бұрын
And the media and elites punching down constantly.
@NS-xt5wv
@NS-xt5wv Жыл бұрын
I became a weed addict, I have never tried any alcohol, cigarettes or drugs before the pandemic but I tried weed once and completely spiraled… I think weed actually saved my life, because I was extremely suicidal. I also gained 11 kg. I’ve been in CPTSD therapy for over a year, lost my gained weight and some more and stopped smoking finally. But took me hours and hours of therapy + Ketamine Assisted Therapy before I started feeling just remotely myself.
@will1631
@will1631 Жыл бұрын
​@@NS-xt5wv You should give mushrooms a try if you had positive results from ketemine
@timmy-wj2hc
@timmy-wj2hc Жыл бұрын
Aka Capitalism
@thisisfyne
@thisisfyne Жыл бұрын
It's not often that an 8 minute video can fundamentally make you understand yourself better. Clear, concise, heartfelt, and true. Looking forward to reading the book now. Thank you sir.
@veverest2155
@veverest2155 Жыл бұрын
His book is called “The Body Keeps the Score.” It’s a good read for PTSD and C-PTSD sufferers
@NightWear21
@NightWear21 Жыл бұрын
could've been shorter. Love self/experience + emotions, is gist.
@jericonaguit6240
@jericonaguit6240 Жыл бұрын
​@@NightWear21everyone has different interpretations and perceptions about which book to read. Besides, knowing the basic principles allows them to apply it onto diff areas of their life. Rather than being vague "self love and such", they dive deeper to make better and informed choices in the future.
@SleepyMagii
@SleepyMagii 11 ай бұрын
​@NightWear21 the thing about language is those words as is, while maybe enough for you since you may know, but to someone who doesn't may want a more detailed picture painted, but words being only description will never do "what is" justice... swhy miscommunication is a huge part of fights and even wars, trying to exploit one another through language rather than heal and help... that's my thoughts anyway
@blindiris22
@blindiris22 11 ай бұрын
this is EXACTLY how i felt about the "8-minute abs" video series.
@meadowrae1491
@meadowrae1491 11 ай бұрын
The thing about PTSD that I never expected was the embarrassment and shame that comes from it. In that moment you are genuinely in fight or flight and feel like you will die; you can't override it and it makes you not want to leave the house.
@VonW0lf3N5t31N
@VonW0lf3N5t31N 11 ай бұрын
Haha, this is so true. Shame sucks.
@lovinglighthouseecs9836
@lovinglighthouseecs9836 9 ай бұрын
Aww! Nothing to be ashamed about but we still have that stigma around these kinds of things!
@jasonwilcox6637
@jasonwilcox6637 8 ай бұрын
❤ you are not alone.
@JustWatchingLilPeople
@JustWatchingLilPeople 7 ай бұрын
Yes, and issues like depression, BPDs, PTSD, DID and C-PTSD are so often mistaken for autism, since everyone thinks that you're an oversensitive and undersensitive princess. Then they look autistic, dramatic and problematic when you respond the same to their triggers but they're adults - you must've done something worse than they did. :) The main reason we avoid therapists and people is cause we don't want our problems to be blamed on us with the wrong diagnosis, and with the abusers still jumping over our heads.
@meadowrae1491
@meadowrae1491 7 ай бұрын
@@JustWatchingLilPeople I mean, I'm also autistic and ADHD. My PTSD from an abusive relationship has different triggers, though. I feel like I can mask my autism (at least for a certain amount of time, not indefinitely) but the PTSD triggers aren't predictable. That's why they are so much more difficult to handle.
@arlenefernandez-l6b
@arlenefernandez-l6b 11 ай бұрын
as an adult, my trauma has been eating at me more and more because i am so aware of it now. im constantly caught between still healing and having to push myself to get up and keep going because i am an adult and the world doesn't care what i've been through. some days are so hard, and i realize i just don't allow myself to take care of myself. Protect your energy and health at all costs, or itll send you straight to the grave
@SusieQ156
@SusieQ156 10 ай бұрын
Practice self care - mental and physical ❤
@alimccreery755
@alimccreery755 5 ай бұрын
I agree with what you are saying 👍👍
@kelseyharte9856
@kelseyharte9856 5 ай бұрын
I know it can be so tough :( and so disheartening to experience. It gets better though!!! It can heal
@PierceArner
@PierceArner Жыл бұрын
Another important factor is that aggression & submission are _both_ trauma responses but just expressed differently. Because submission often cycles into detachment & learned helplessness, it is far more difficult to identify or address because by nature it doesn't get exposed to others the way aggression does, and often causes us to misinterpret trauma as leading to violent behaviour rather than just an override of survival mechanisms.
@5Demona5
@5Demona5 11 ай бұрын
Yeah, like that kid who "Is a pleasure to have in class, they're so quiet" But it's because if that kid makes any noise in their home, they get their ass whooped.
@sweettea735
@sweettea735 11 ай бұрын
@@5Demona5I remember people from my church complimenting my parents for raising me to be a “Quiet and nice man” but they weren’t aware that my parents employed the use of fear tactics such as love bombing, then pulling back quickly so that I couldn’t develop a proper relationship with them. I became reliant on them for my own happiness. I always felt like I could be nothing without them, because I was taught that they could be the only ones who could love me.
@5Demona5
@5Demona5 11 ай бұрын
@sweettea735 Ouch... I'm sorry to hear that. My mom would beat me with the belt for any and every mistake, no matter how small. I was absolutely terrified of doing anything wrong. All she had to do was look at me in a certain way, and I'd be the perfect little girl. "She's so quiet and polite, and never throws a tantrum." Yeah, cause for every tear spilled in a tantrum equals a belt mark on my back
@sweettea735
@sweettea735 11 ай бұрын
@@5Demona5 parents are a different breed 😅
@Fleetstreetbestone
@Fleetstreetbestone 11 ай бұрын
(Bunch of victim pussies, your actions are yours, fuck this determinism victim mindset) - this is a viewpoint you should derive a degree of understanding, there is truth in all sides of debates
@patiakreles
@patiakreles Жыл бұрын
The book the body keeps the score helped me tremendously to understand that I am not alone in my struggles. I ended up doing EMDR on myself and I finally could start sleeping without having terrible nightmares. I tried neurofeedback and did a family visualizing therapy because it was recommended in the book. A year later I no longer think I have PTSD, I'm off antidepressants and I'm much better. I can be aware of what I like and don't like and I am starting to Really Enjoy Life. For the first time in my life I feel safe. I never thought this could be possible, but it is.
@honeymoonavenue97
@honeymoonavenue97 Жыл бұрын
How did you do EMDR on yourself?
@Elizabeth12cu
@Elizabeth12cu Жыл бұрын
Uhhh
@enzos711
@enzos711 Жыл бұрын
You should not .. Poss, down the line, after taught by a EMDR Therapist@@honeymoonavenue97
@jonjeskie5234
@jonjeskie5234 Жыл бұрын
What's EMDR? And just curious, how long had you been having PTSD? (Like months, years, etc.?)
@enzos711
@enzos711 Жыл бұрын
Google it @@jonjeskie5234
@mechanical_chaos
@mechanical_chaos 11 ай бұрын
I had a particularly stable and loving childhood with nearly zero events of something bad happening. Yet I started showing clear signs of CPTSD in my teens. I know now when looking back that I had undiagnosed autism and I found a lot of regular events to be extremely overwhelming until I turned into a neurotic ball. Videos like this help me untangle a lot of the confusion I still have decades later about it.
@enolp
@enolp 11 ай бұрын
THANK YOU, MY GOSH I had pretty much the same thing happen to me, though my mom growing up wasn’t very stable because of all of the absolutely terrible crap she didn’t know she dealt with so I also suffered from emotional neglect and that one really bad second grade teacher that was fired in the middle of the year so we at least had a starting point on some of the trauma to deal with. But it confused me massively why church was so traumatic when nobody ever did anything that would warrant such a response. Then I learned that trauma happens in the perception of events and that I was more sensitive to certain sorts of things than others. Then I learned about autism and everything started to click into place the more I researched. Though I still do have some imposter syndrome about autism, which is one of those things that I just have to learn to deal with until it feels better I think. But you’re the first person I’ve heard about that understands what it’s like to have trauma that wouldn’t be traumatizing for pretty much anyone else. So easy to self-gaslight with that. Too easy.
@mechanical_chaos
@mechanical_chaos 11 ай бұрын
@@enolp I have such bad imposter syndrome over my autism as well, even though I have a well documented lifetime of medical issues and psychiatrists that all can be perfectly explained by it and show nearly every sign of being on the spectrum.
@EdithCasines
@EdithCasines 11 ай бұрын
I think I have autism also! But I discovered it later on! goes all the things that are happening to me! I knew I had ADHD! I have learning disabilities! I was always bullied and people call me idiot! I'm a kinda loving person! And I wasn't an excellent mother to my kids! I need help. I wish I can find someone to help me.! thank you
@tonic316
@tonic316 11 ай бұрын
@@EdithCasines im just weird
@apebass2215
@apebass2215 11 ай бұрын
So you weren't showing signs of CPTSD, you were showing signs of being unable to regulate your emotions. Do you actually have a professional diagnosis of autism, or is it self-diagnosed?
@salomeyul
@salomeyul 8 ай бұрын
In words of Gabor Maté: “Trauma is not what happens to you; it is what happens inside you as a result of what happens to you … It is not the blow on the head, but the concussion I get.”
@oliviacadena2036
@oliviacadena2036 5 ай бұрын
That's true. ❤❤
@jaquelynsoto719
@jaquelynsoto719 5 ай бұрын
Well said!
@moniqueengleman873
@moniqueengleman873 4 ай бұрын
I really respect him. He is wonderful ❤️
@ThievesInTheTreasureRoom
@ThievesInTheTreasureRoom 16 күн бұрын
K
@kymfrancis4612
@kymfrancis4612 11 ай бұрын
I’m a clinical psychologist & this philosophy really resonates on a personal professional level. My cardiologist told me about the book last year when I developed endocarditis from pneumonia; my mitral valve & chordae ruptured. I’ve had a lot of grief, loss & trauma throughout my life, I have several autoimmune disorders. The philosophical perspective of being compassionate to people who have experienced trauma, makes so much more sense than toxic positivity♥️♥️♥️
@ariloves10
@ariloves10 11 ай бұрын
Good call. Toxic positivity is so shallow and fake.
@piccalillipit9211
@piccalillipit9211 11 ай бұрын
I deeply hate the toxic positivity, the demand of the modern world to be irrationally positive. Life in mostly harsh and mostly failure, having the grit and determination to keep going is how you get through. I've been a millionaire and I've been homeless, irrational positivity didn't help me in either situation.
@sweettea735
@sweettea735 11 ай бұрын
What sort of surgery did you get? A TEER surgery?
@kymfrancis4612
@kymfrancis4612 11 ай бұрын
@@sweettea735 I had a minimally invasive mitral valve surgery, my surgeon cut me under my right breast - approximately a 10cm incision between 2 ribs, they also cut me in the right groin, that incision is used to access the femoral artery, they insert the heart lung perfusion pump when they stop the heart for surgery. I also had several other 1cm keyhole incisions. I have Paget’s Disease of Bone, but the nuclear scan that is used to diagnose Paget’s didn’t detect any Paget’s in my ribs; unfortunately my surgeon broke 2 ribs in a few places when he placed the retractors between 2 ribs. My surgeon wired, plated & pinned my ribs.
@GinaMartina2023
@GinaMartina2023 11 ай бұрын
Have you been able to get better?
@neutralsoymotel
@neutralsoymotel Жыл бұрын
"All happy families are alike; each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way."
@AGenerationJones
@AGenerationJones Жыл бұрын
The greatest opening line in literature, IMO.
@Ag3nt0fCha0s
@Ag3nt0fCha0s 11 ай бұрын
A man of culture I see
@neutralsoymotel
@neutralsoymotel 11 ай бұрын
i am no man @@Ag3nt0fCha0s
@GregoryKun
@GregoryKun 4 ай бұрын
Anna Karenina
@trafyknits9222
@trafyknits9222 Жыл бұрын
I had massive residual trauma from a father who beat me severely when I was a little kid. He also raged against the family and terrorized us for decades. I had no idea that my body had stored that trauma well into adulthood. But, with the help of a kinesiologist I was able to release the trauma over several months. It changed my life and freed me from depression, anxiety, drinking too much and self-loathing.
@lorenzo6777
@lorenzo6777 Жыл бұрын
Can you give some personal insight into that process?
@trafyknits9222
@trafyknits9222 Жыл бұрын
@@lorenzo6777 This is truly amazing, because I had years of therapy with a psychiatrist and medication (anti-depressants, anti-anxiety) and it really only helped superficially. I was introduced to a kinesiologist who helped me release the stored trauma in my body. It sounds sort of cheesy at first, but it did more to help me heal than all the therapy sessions combined. The body's cells store trauma and it needs to be purged. Once it's gone, your life will feel completely different. The sessions are almost like hypnosis, but the results are tangible. Find a kinesiologist and have a consultation to see if it will work for you. Good luck.
@neil03051957
@neil03051957 11 ай бұрын
My circumstances were the same getting a beating at 3. My mind for many years tried to get me to relive it to file it, or understand / accept it. Solved.
@Giovanniditessitore
@Giovanniditessitore 11 ай бұрын
Bless you ❤
@Giovanniditessitore
@Giovanniditessitore 11 ай бұрын
​@@neil03051957bless you ❤
@thementalhealthproject2020
@thementalhealthproject2020 Жыл бұрын
This guy genuinely rocks! I received a 100% scholarship worth $2000 USD for the 7-month long research program on traumatic stress at his research institute called Trauma Research Foundation From my brief interaction with him through class, lectures, and QnA sessions, it seems, he really cares to make the world a better place ❤
@margaretvan4909
@margaretvan4909 11 ай бұрын
I am delighted for you! Congratulations on this new phase in your career. 😊
@thementalhealthproject2020
@thementalhealthproject2020 11 ай бұрын
@@margaretvan4909 thank you 🥺🙏🏻🤗
@thementalhealthproject2020
@thementalhealthproject2020 11 ай бұрын
@@SolzeyeJewels thank-youuuuu ♥️🎉
@citiaii
@citiaii 11 ай бұрын
congratulations on the opportunity and best wishes! enjoy it!!
@thementalhealthproject2020
@thementalhealthproject2020 11 ай бұрын
@@citiaii Thank you!! This means a lot!! :))
@dianarobertson7319
@dianarobertson7319 11 ай бұрын
Married to a Vietnam Vet x 37 years, his trauma was so horrible; all that you said is so true. Flashbacks, hyper vigilant, adverse to crowds, unable to sleep, hair trigger rage, unable to have intimacy, survivor guilt, nightmares.
@ShandoraLife
@ShandoraLife 7 ай бұрын
This must have been so heartbreaking. Did he finally heal?
@callmemandyNL
@callmemandyNL 11 ай бұрын
Wishing everyone recovering from trauma all the best ❤ All health and happiness to you all!
@islandbirdw
@islandbirdw Жыл бұрын
Hyper vigilance and sleep disturbances are a big part. Once you start re-experiencing the trauma, you start to feel irritable and for me I often need many hours or even days to regain my composure. I never had insomnia before my accident but it’s been a stubborn side effect of PTSD.
@enolp
@enolp 11 ай бұрын
Yeah, I’ve just recently put together that the remaining hyper-vigilance still there after all the trauma I’ve worked through thus far is most likely the cause for why I can only take naps rarely and in very specific circumstances, and can’t fall asleep until I have reason to believe everyone else in the house is in bed going to sleep too.
@kelseyharte9856
@kelseyharte9856 5 ай бұрын
Omg I have the worst sleep PTSD symptom and it drives me MADDDDD. It's like my fight or flight turns on and nothing I do turns it off. Somatic processing and allowing myself to going into feeling it has been literally the only thing that helps.
@kelseyharte9856
@kelseyharte9856 5 ай бұрын
@@enolp I've had 2 instances happen where I get in a fight with a family member and then I have a fear they are going to murder me in my sleep LOL it's so irrational
@SavikalpaSciences
@SavikalpaSciences 2 ай бұрын
Dealing with PTSD-related insomnia is truly very challenging. Your body’s stress response often keeps you on edge, making it hard to relax. Why don't you try Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for Insomnia (CBT-I)? Practices like mindfulness, regular exercise, and a consistent sleep routine might help ease these issues! :)
@br4tb4by
@br4tb4by Жыл бұрын
This man is brilliant! His book The Body Keeps The Score genuinely helped me with my PTSD more than any psychologist.
@smakkdat
@smakkdat Жыл бұрын
How? Does the book tell you what to do? Like self help therapy tools?
@br4tb4by
@br4tb4by Жыл бұрын
@@smakkdat It helped me by understanding my traumatized brain and behavior much better. For example it explained what happens in your brain during a flashback or why during a flashback you cannot comprehend time and space. It’s a fascinating read, I really recommend it.
@enolp
@enolp 11 ай бұрын
For real though, it’s so helpful to understand what’s going on internally so you know how to respond to it. The guilt and self-gaslighting can disperse a bit when understanding takes their place
@mgn1621
@mgn1621 11 ай бұрын
Unless therapists are trained in trauma and somatic experiencing, they probably won’t help. Until I came upon my trauma therapist nothing I was experiencing made sense, now with the understanding of trauma, it does.
@mgn1621
@mgn1621 11 ай бұрын
@@br4tb4by and for me, how my nervous system became so dysregulated and how that affects everything
@enolp
@enolp 11 ай бұрын
One thing that I’ve learned from my trauma schooling (including use of aspects introduced in The Body Keeps the Score) is that we aren’t made to *not* go through trauma. The body understands that life itself is traumatic and will cover traumatic memories with amnesia in many instances. Take birth for example. Mothers forget the feeling of the pain of labor, only remembering the fact that it included some large amount of pain. And newborn babies are suddenly pulled from the warm, cozy space they’re used to in the womb into this cold, bright, unfamiliar place with unfamiliar people poking you and wiping the gunk off you and you have no idea what the heck is happening. There is no such thing as a “perfect parent,” because even if one did exist, the children would still have trauma just based off the fact that trauma happens in the perception of events, not in the events themselves. How interesting is that?? I feel like I could go on for days about trauma and examples of normal human traumatic experiences that people don’t even think are leading to further problems down the line. Fascinating.
@GinaMartina2023
@GinaMartina2023 11 ай бұрын
Very well said! Thank you!
@Aivottaja
@Aivottaja 11 ай бұрын
Puh-leeze. The "trauma" of childbirth is new age gobbledygook.
@enolp
@enolp 11 ай бұрын
@@Aivottaja then respectfully, I don’t think you understand trauma. And based off the tone of your comment you’re probably not interested in learning so I will just sign off with a “good day to you”
@Aivottaja
@Aivottaja 11 ай бұрын
@@enolp You have absolutely no idea about my traumas. And people who manufacture "traumas" from something like getting born, probably think it adds to their character and makes them more interesting.
@cheese5252
@cheese5252 11 ай бұрын
Your comment was so well put! I was curious, could you list some examples of human experiences that we wouldn't usually think of as traumatic?
@regular-joe
@regular-joe 24 күн бұрын
Saw the book on a random library shelf today and brought it home. Then the KZbin algorithm put it on my screen tonight. Strange world.
@therealrobertbirchall
@therealrobertbirchall 11 ай бұрын
As a survivor of a violent parent, I can testify to the life long impact of such situations. I found it required a great deal of restraint not to be violent towards my own children. I didn't spend the time with them I ought to have, to my eternal regret, because I was afraid that I would be violent towards them. The anger is always close to the surface. Now I'm an old man I have learnt, the hard way, coping strategies to recognise my own feelings and deal with them in a lead destructive way.
@GinaMartina2023
@GinaMartina2023 11 ай бұрын
Are you able to forgive yourself? And your parent ?
@therealrobertbirchall
@therealrobertbirchall 11 ай бұрын
@GinaMartina2023 I'm in a better place now, but it's late in my life, and I've had this monkey on my back my entire life. Thanks for your concern.
@Boss-z7n
@Boss-z7n 4 ай бұрын
@@therealrobertbirchall I appreciate that you are able to admit your fault as well... It's alright we all make mistakes and it's never too late to build a bond with your children, they will be grateful about it surely!
@chooyanlong123
@chooyanlong123 Ай бұрын
amen. forgiven but the body does not forget. takes a great deal of retrain, discipline, focus, intent, perseverance to transform good into bad. but God is love, compassion, grace, and power and performs miracles.
@electricjellyfish375
@electricjellyfish375 Жыл бұрын
This is one of the most important subjects in modern society. The recognition of trauma and the solutions to it.
@dianakidd4219
@dianakidd4219 11 ай бұрын
My husband was a Vietnam vet. I found that doing the same thing every day and night, a stable family, helped tremendously. All humans get trauma before they die. It’s inevitable. How you handle it is everything.
@ziyuanma1226
@ziyuanma1226 Жыл бұрын
I went through a difficult time during my teenage years when my parents’ relationship broke down. I didn’t realize it gave me trauma, I just thought it was an unhappy period of my life that I can put behind. Until one day I almost had a panic attack triggered by an otherwise completely casual remark from a friend. That’s when I realized part of me never moved on from that time, and it prevents me from forming close relationships with people.
@Will140f
@Will140f Жыл бұрын
Often it is some small thing that awakens us to our past reality. The straw that breaks the camels back, so to speak, but it’s always a very specific straw.
@enolp
@enolp 11 ай бұрын
Abso-freakin-lutely.
@theresalives
@theresalives 6 күн бұрын
Finally found myself a therapist who understands this and actually recommended his book to me. I suffer from CPTSD, it feels so lonely and finding someone who sees the pain I went through and how it affects me is a breath of fresh air
@moongrime
@moongrime 11 ай бұрын
The Body Keeps The Score should be a required read in high school!
@AysenGuler369-zs1om
@AysenGuler369-zs1om 6 ай бұрын
And children must be thought there are no normal families. Mine was terrible and could not talk about to anyone, when I was young and helpless..
@karendawson9372
@karendawson9372 5 ай бұрын
That is such a good idea!
@janicebolosan119
@janicebolosan119 Ай бұрын
Make it part of Health class!! The book should be in the school library too!
@chrisklugh
@chrisklugh Жыл бұрын
The hard part is, nobody will seem to know what we go though. Even those that have similar stories. Empathy is powerful, but from a point of pain, while going though it, it seems like your all alone. Nobody feels what I feel right now. So I must be alone. Even though that's not true. Its difficult. There might never be a 'solution'. Just consequences.
@nibornnyw3185
@nibornnyw3185 Жыл бұрын
E.F.T., emotional freedom technique, intention tapping, tapping, quick eft, brain retraining, amygdala rewiring/retraining, brain rewiring. Is all one thing called by many different names, but it works. Even if you don't believe in it while doing it. Don't give anybody any money for it, because there is plenty of info out there for free, and you can develop your own unique way of doing it. Hope that helps. It has helped me.
@Lili4Yah
@Lili4Yah 11 ай бұрын
Pray. God always helps. It is true "emphaty" is key.
@chrisklugh
@chrisklugh 11 ай бұрын
@@Lili4YahPeople have been praying for 1000's of years. Does it really do anything?
@hollyfabiani
@hollyfabiani 8 ай бұрын
And benzos
@pixel9548
@pixel9548 Жыл бұрын
He's a psychiatrist, neuroscientist, cutie pie.... On a more serious note, I now see everyone around me differently and have more compassion for all our crazy behavior after reading his book.
@chadwolak882
@chadwolak882 11 ай бұрын
My therapist shared "The Body Keeps The Score" with me soon after we began therapy. I was blown away and am so grateful.......
@ToGoMania19
@ToGoMania19 Ай бұрын
Thank you for your insight. I am a Navy Veteran who has dealt with PTSD (formally diagnosed in 2017) after suffering non-combat-related trauma in 1978. I have a very ragged career history because of the difficulties I experience just being in an office doing my work. I am unemployed right now because of my extreme discomfort in a workplace incident. I am working with professionals to get prepared for a fresh job. I am 69 years old and must still continue to work since I was never able to maintain a job long enough to build an adequate retirement account. Lucky for me, I still believe Life Can Be Better, and I continue to work with fellow veterans and a stellar professional medical team to address my realities. I have come a long way, yet many symptoms persist. The sense of belonging I have with my fellow veterans makes a huge difference in how I feel and grow. I’m looking forward to EMDR as a next-step in my trauma processing.
@kattyleeshorts
@kattyleeshorts 11 ай бұрын
How important and helpful this is! I'm from Ukraine, had difficult childhood and now this war. So happy to know that there's a hope to heal.
@GinaMartina2023
@GinaMartina2023 11 ай бұрын
Praying for you!
@kattyleeshorts
@kattyleeshorts 11 ай бұрын
@@GinaMartina2023 ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
@irynakharkova-hjen7068
@irynakharkova-hjen7068 11 ай бұрын
Same here, our beloved Ukraine😢
@GiggleHertz64
@GiggleHertz64 10 ай бұрын
I’m so sorry. Ukraine and Ukrainians have had so much horror to deal with in the past few years, not to mention Ukraine’s history over the last 120 years even. May this war end, may you and those you love find healing. I and many more keep you all in our hearts and minds and prayers. 🇺🇦❤
@kattyleeshorts
@kattyleeshorts 10 ай бұрын
@@GiggleHertz64 thank you so much ❤️
@fluentinoverthinking
@fluentinoverthinking Жыл бұрын
After having been working night shifts in a stressful and demanding environment for a year I got a kind of PTSD. I used to have nightmares for half a year and took me a year of therapy to get rid of the symptoms. I’m still struggling with insomnia but at least my body is not super tense anymore. It takes time to deplete your resources and it takes even more time to recover. I wish everyone to be more attentive to your physical and mental health and take care.
@Rama-lila
@Rama-lila Жыл бұрын
Very well said.
@learnwhispering
@learnwhispering Жыл бұрын
♥️♥️ sleep cycles make all this harder... Keep at it... ♥️♥️
@nemrak4385
@nemrak4385 Жыл бұрын
Dr Van Der Kolk, thank you for being such an incredible human, doctor and scientist your book opened my eyes to the 20 years of sexual abuse and trauma i had developed dissociative amnesia to survive! As an incest survivor and severly sexually abused child and now woman I have read your book twice already and its incredibly helpful especially the treatment parts. EMDR has worked incredibly well for me on my healing journey! Thank you for all that you have done and are doing to help us traumatized people heal and be understood by those who were lucky enough to not have been abused/tortured like some of us were!
@punyashloka4946
@punyashloka4946 Жыл бұрын
I hope you find your healing.
@Irkennalpha
@Irkennalpha Жыл бұрын
I wish you the best in your recovery 🙌🏽 Thanks for sharing that
@disinfect777
@disinfect777 Жыл бұрын
"incest survivor" is a bad term. Not all incest is bad. What you mean is probably "rape survivor".
@punyashloka4946
@punyashloka4946 Жыл бұрын
@@disinfect777 yeah you probably a prepetater yourself thats why you think not all incest is bad or you are a mentally ill person.
@gioxenit
@gioxenit Жыл бұрын
​@@disinfect777can you elaborate on what part of incest isn't wrong with you?
@enzos711
@enzos711 Жыл бұрын
I can't imagine how you can grow up in this society without having "Trauma" .. Regarding C-PTSD, I think we're learning how common Trauma really is ..
@snorgonofborkkad
@snorgonofborkkad 9 ай бұрын
Common? It’s part of our evolutionary biology. It’s inevitable. Humans are supposed to experience trauma. If that’s a surprise to you then you’re not paying attention.
@caffeinatedpossum
@caffeinatedpossum 8 ай бұрын
My fear with it being more common is that people will take it less seriously because "everyone goes through it"
@PoisonelleMisty4311
@PoisonelleMisty4311 8 ай бұрын
I decided to seek therapy to address my unresolved feelings and work through my trauma. It was a difficult process, but with the help of my therapist, I was able to confront my past and make peace with it. I learned coping mechanisms to deal with my triggers and slowly started opening up to others again. It wasn’t easy, but I am grateful for going through therapy as it helped me realize the impact of my past on my present relationships. I am now more aware of my emotions and how they affect my interactions with others. I have also learned to be more open and vulnerable, allowing me to form closer connections with those around me. Although the scars from my teenage years will always be a part of me, they no longer control me. I have taken control of my trauma and used it as a learning experience to grow and become a better version of myself. I am now able to navigate my relationships with a greater sense of understanding and empathy, both towards myself and others.
@enzos711
@enzos711 8 ай бұрын
Finding a Therapist that "works for you" is great.. @@PoisonelleMisty4311
@JustWatchingLilPeople
@JustWatchingLilPeople 7 ай бұрын
@@caffeinatedpossum It's happening in pretty much all post WW2 countries right now. Degeneracy is being glorified and normalized by the elderly there, so it's unpleasant and more dangerous to live in them.
@jenniferb.awesome
@jenniferb.awesome 11 ай бұрын
After childhood filled with mental/physical abuse and neglect, as an adult I completely shut down emotionally and physically. I'm pretty sure it's because of learned helpessness, I could never learn to stand up for myself or make the situation better, so now I don't even try. I'm 36 and even though the abuse stopped when I was around 16, it still unconsciously dictates everything in my life today. Trauma is one of the most hardest things to overcome, it's like you become your own worst enemy.
@B4YDA
@B4YDA 2 ай бұрын
Whatever trauma you experienced is valid. We are human and experience is individualized. What you felt, is valid. ❤
@yojimbo3681
@yojimbo3681 11 ай бұрын
I also feel like a lot of us become high-functioning sociopaths to survive in society. For example, no one wants to make friends with depressed people. No one wants to hire someone who doesn't have a cheerful attitude. We carry around this burden, but we have to hide it from others, so we get really good at lying. We make sure we're "cheerful" and "happy" and fake it so that society accepts us.
@garywhitt98
@garywhitt98 11 ай бұрын
You are an honest and intelligent person. Thanks for helping us on this thread.
@snorgonofborkkad
@snorgonofborkkad 9 ай бұрын
Society isn’t responsible for people’s individual emotional baggage. They have to take personal responsibility for their mental health. If they’re not doing that then it’s their fault.
@yojimbo3681
@yojimbo3681 9 ай бұрын
@@snorgonofborkkad I disagree, because society should include everyone. Now, I agree that one individual's emotional baggage is not the responsibility of another individual. But to say all of society shouldn't be responsible is a pretty toxic mindset, because you're implying: you are not deserving of a society, of human contact, until you fix your own problems, which may or may not have been caused by others in that same society.
@archieandalice
@archieandalice 7 ай бұрын
The cheerfulness is a pretty thin and vulnerable layer that breaks down easily, I have found in my own life experiences. You have to be completely disassociated to avoid the resulting breakdown.
@lindasantini5618
@lindasantini5618 4 ай бұрын
I hope you'll go see a highly qualified, professional homeopath. Homeopathy has been curing depression for 200 years, gently, deeply, safely, with no side effects.
@JohnGeorge-pw2xo
@JohnGeorge-pw2xo 2 ай бұрын
I was severely traumatized years ago as a teenage, got diagnosed with bipolar. Spent my whole life fighting bipolar. I suffered severe depression and mental disorder. Not until my wife recommended me to psilocybin mushrooms treatment. Psilocybin treatment saved my life honestly. 6 years totally clean. Never thought I would be saying this about mushrooms.
@Harris_jones
@Harris_jones 2 ай бұрын
I'm so very happy for you, Psilocybin is absolutely amazing, the way it shows you things, the way it teaches you things. I can not believe our world and our people shows less interest about it's helpfulness to humanity. It's love. The mushrooms heals people by showing the truth, it would be so beneficial for so many people, especially politicians and the rich who have lost their way and every other persons out there.
@MorrisBasar-jm9lc
@MorrisBasar-jm9lc 2 ай бұрын
Can you help me with the reliable source 🙏. I'm 56 and have suffered for years with addiction, anxiety and severe ptsd, I got my panic attacks under control myself years ago and they have come back with a vengeance, I'm constantly trying to take full breaths but can't get the full satisfying breath out, it's absolutely crippling me, i live in Germany. I don't know much about these mushrooms. Really need a reliable source!! Can't wait to get them
@NasDaily_11
@NasDaily_11 2 ай бұрын
YES sure of mycologist Pedroshrooms. Mushrooms literally got me off my feet and turned my whole life around. I am currently a housing manager for a recovery program. I wouldn't have been able to do that shit without psilocybin.
@NetaZjdb
@NetaZjdb 2 ай бұрын
Mushrooms are very medicinal. This is why anybody familiar with psilocybin and any other kind of fungi will tell you, "They are alive." They have a very ancient wisdom. To my experience, all mushrooms have always said, "Pay attention to your life. How you think, how you feel, and what will you do with the information that you always knew, but now are seeing in this point of view." This is why mushrooms are so respected in tribal cultures. This mental health treatment works for me too. Half micro doses do the trick for me. At least a few days at a time with lengthy time in between. Never addictive. Thank you for sharing this point!
@EthanEdward-wx7ut
@EthanEdward-wx7ut 2 ай бұрын
Where do I reach this dude? If possible can I find him on Google
@annpane1227
@annpane1227 10 ай бұрын
I have been saying it a different way for over 20 years. "The body never forgets."
@Sorchia56
@Sorchia56 11 ай бұрын
It’s a phenomenal book. My therapist does EMDR with me. I still have nightmares every night but I’m able to self soothe and go back to sleep. My C-PTSD will always be with me, much like an addict will always be an addict, but I’m able to finally live my life not on high alert at all times. Took 3 years of intense therapy to get to this stage, a lot of hard work and dedication but I finally feel some peace at 53 years old.
@KatsuragiNamika
@KatsuragiNamika 11 ай бұрын
I wholeheartedly wish you the best of luck with getting better and better with it ❤
@Sorchia56
@Sorchia56 11 ай бұрын
@@KatsuragiNamika Aw, thank you so very much. You’ve a beautiful soul. No worries, I’m not hitting the floor every time a fire cracker goes off anymore so that’s massive progress. My husband and our (grown) children are relieved 🤣🤣 I’m a Retired Lt. Col. and I worked for the government. It wasn’t all bad.
@KatsuragiNamika
@KatsuragiNamika 11 ай бұрын
@@Sorchia56 hehe, rock on 🩷🩷
@PoisonelleMisty4311
@PoisonelleMisty4311 8 ай бұрын
Thank you for your kind words and for sharing your story.
@trainingxtrish
@trainingxtrish 21 күн бұрын
as a personal trainer, I see it everyday. It's an honor to support my clients as much as I can in my scope
@Sweepee-v2v
@Sweepee-v2v 11 күн бұрын
You're a great soul ❤️ it's wonderful to hear someone say you really care about people that you help. There's a lot who help as a job but have no human empathy or true care.
@elizabethwilliams6651
@elizabethwilliams6651 Жыл бұрын
Psychedelics are just an exceptional mental health breakthrough. It's quite fascinating how effective they are against depression and anxiety. Saved my life.
@APOLLINAIREBARTHOLOMIEU
@APOLLINAIREBARTHOLOMIEU Жыл бұрын
Can you help with the reliable source I would really appreciate it. Many people talk about mushrooms and psychedelics but nobody talks about where to get them. Very hard to get a reliable source here in Australia. Really need!
@Jennifer-bw7ku
@Jennifer-bw7ku Жыл бұрын
Yes, dr.sporessss. I have the same experience with anxiety, depression, PTSD and addiction and Mushrooms definitely made a huge huge difference to why am clean today.
@patriaciasmith3499
@patriaciasmith3499 Жыл бұрын
I wish they were readily available in my place. Microdosing was my next plan of care for my husband. He is 59 & has so many mental health issues plus probable CTE & a TBI that left him in a coma 8 days. It's too late now I had to get a TPO as he's 6'6 300+ pound homicidal maniac. He's constantly talking about killing someone. He's violent. Anyone reading this Familiar w/ BPD know if it is common for an obsession with violence.
@APOLLINAIREBARTHOLOMIEU
@APOLLINAIREBARTHOLOMIEU Жыл бұрын
Is he on instagram?
@Jennifer-bw7ku
@Jennifer-bw7ku Жыл бұрын
Yes he is. dr.sporessss
@Underdoge_
@Underdoge_ Жыл бұрын
His book changed my life, I'll always be grateful.
@Logos2k
@Logos2k 11 ай бұрын
one of the things i tell myself after dealing with a lot of heavy emotions with trauma is: i accept and validate the feelings i went through but they are no longer serving my current situation therefore i let them go. i usually hold my hand over my heart while doing this. it helps to detach those old emotions unto your current self. try to think of it like even though it hurt terribly remember it made you the beautiful person you are today. amazing video, hope this helped ❤ keep going and never give up! you got this!
@ElizabethRoy-t5f
@ElizabethRoy-t5f 9 ай бұрын
Yes! It's never too late to learn to love yourself. After 45 years I finally don't blame myself for the sexual assaults that came my way. What a weight to carry!
@philippasmethurst
@philippasmethurst 3 ай бұрын
This is wonderful. Trauma is so ubiquitous we miss it in plain sight. Thank you Bessel.
@MJCVN
@MJCVN 11 ай бұрын
I have PTSD from an abusive marriage. It used to be so bad, I was really afraid of the world. Always afraid I was going to get shot if i looked at someone wrong, or plowed into by an out of control car when i drove, and most days at work I think I'm going to be fired. It took me a long time to realize the PTSD makes my entire world feel unsafe, not just other relationships. Anyway i now do EMDR for it and I have noticed the world is feeling safer than it used to. I'm not near as afraid of other people. I can go out to eat again. It's a very draining and hard therapy frankly, but the result has been encouraging 😊 i would recommend looking into it if you have PTSD.
@carlybun231
@carlybun231 Жыл бұрын
The Body Keeps The Score is genuinely one of the best books I've ever read, so incredibly eye opening. It's both informative and compassionate; it's neat to see the man behind the book! I'm actually starting EMDR next week after reading about it - thank you for making this information accessible to us
@alltheleaveswerebrown
@alltheleaveswerebrown 6 ай бұрын
The best part of this is how much compassion you can hear in his voice as he talks about a group of people he has studied for 50 years--they're still people, not a project.
@chubbydinosaur9148
@chubbydinosaur9148 11 ай бұрын
Sprinkle on top the trauma of undiagnosed autism and you've got the perfect hell. My abusers were just always caught off guard by my unregulated outbursts and those wouldn't stop, because I can't regulate. Well I don't know how to regulate YET, my bosses and I had a "deep talk" about our personal lifes yesterday and we got our eyes on a special clinic for adhd, autism and all the good stuff. I just hope my bosses have as much of a good experience with those professionals as I hopefully will. It would really be nice to have a body that feels like it's safe.
@RadarHawk52
@RadarHawk52 6 ай бұрын
Sir, your book is a Godsend. It has helped many friends.
@bustercrabbe8447
@bustercrabbe8447 11 ай бұрын
I've read the book: The Body Keeps the Score, TWICE! And I gave a copy to a friend. Great book.
@frederick2460
@frederick2460 Жыл бұрын
I grew up with a bipolar parent, and his book is helping me a lot. She passed in 2020 and I did not realize how much it had affected me, not just after her passing, but also all my life. Whether or not you have been through something, everyone should read the book. it would help you understand yourself and others. I believe covid traumatized many people and I think his book would help everyone.
@neerajkamra
@neerajkamra Жыл бұрын
I also grew up with a bi-polar parent. He is still alive while my mom passed away 2 years ago. Surely bc of all the stress she encountered dealing with him and shielding her kids. Me and my siblings didnt realize how much trauma we encountered. Its only through some psychedelic experiences and seeing others deal with their trauma through psycho-therapy that i am much more aware of what happened to us. I feel for you, bc it was scary a lot when we were growing up and I hope you take solace and heal from such illuminating discussions such as these on the Big Think! Take care.
@noremac4807
@noremac4807 11 ай бұрын
the Cv response was traumatising . Banning of early effective treatments causing unnecessary loss of life, censorship of imminent scientific voices, locking people up continuously for 9 months (Australia). Decimating livelihoods, enforcing experimental treatments, loss of jobs, homes. Politicians and health bureaucrats spewing vitriol daily and creating fear and division. For those that saw it for what it was and were impacted, it was deeply traumatic. Not to mention the vicarious trauma for others not impacted necessarily, but observing in shock and horror what others were going through.
@pick2206
@pick2206 11 ай бұрын
how can i read the book for free?
@rubenmckinley4841
@rubenmckinley4841 9 ай бұрын
Libraries ​@@pick2206
@TreforestGump01
@TreforestGump01 11 ай бұрын
I’m in tears watching this realising I have not felt ‘safe’ for a long time. I have lost years of my life to guilt, shame and not feeling. It’s only just become a realisation that I have been living a half life.
@maurad5378
@maurad5378 8 ай бұрын
Same
@jacquelinemelhunt2640
@jacquelinemelhunt2640 6 ай бұрын
Same
@Top0graphy
@Top0graphy Ай бұрын
Same
@stevec404
@stevec404 11 ай бұрын
I spent my life in trauma mode from an early childhood rejection. The profession must catch up to this presenter.
@hollyfabiani
@hollyfabiani 8 ай бұрын
Some do but we cant afford them or theyre outta my network.
@LorraineMPirro
@LorraineMPirro 5 ай бұрын
Brilliant, Dr. van der Kolk. Heartfelt, wise, data-informed. It takes a genius to speak so plainly and profoundly.
@theliterarytarot
@theliterarytarot 11 ай бұрын
“Shadow of former self…passive then 0-10” that’s my dad, and when I once tried to bring up Vietnam, ptsd, trauma, man he blew up and then hung up. So yeah I just am working on my trauma if growing up with that and the choices I made in early life after childhood trauma. I loved that book and this wisdom. Most therapy is not trauma informed and it is a pity.
@OffGridMadMan
@OffGridMadMan 11 ай бұрын
I have Complex PTSD and find his work amazing. He is the authority on trauma.
@SIMoretonNorthInc
@SIMoretonNorthInc 5 ай бұрын
Such a simple and profound message - self-compassion - being able to find a safe and supportive environment to express yourself where others actually listen is a good beginning.
@Meechl
@Meechl 11 ай бұрын
WOW! I really needed to hear this today. This explains a lot of my feelings of inadequacy. I had a traumatic childhood experience which I carried for decades. I married a narcissist who could smell my trauma and used it against me. When I learnt what I was dealing with I learnt how to cope and your video helped me to remember. Now I can slowly learn to live with what I saw at the age of 7. My mother attacked my grandmother with a curling iron and then they both rolled down the stairs fighting. Because I witnessed this I believe my mother hated me for this. Everyone worshipped my mother who constantly manipulated and taunted me because I knew the truth. Thank you for this video.
@_heisenburgerr
@_heisenburgerr 11 ай бұрын
as a psychometrician planning to pursue a master's degree, this has inspired me to study about trauma even more. this also reminded me why people react the way they do and to understand where they come from.
@edbramfitt2300
@edbramfitt2300 Жыл бұрын
sir, thank you for sharing your knowledge and compassion
@MothicalBeast
@MothicalBeast Жыл бұрын
Ah this is a huge explanation of what generational trauma is
@SparkyOne549
@SparkyOne549 Жыл бұрын
I cut the chord of generational trauma by not having kids.
@ttgyuioo
@ttgyuioo 9 ай бұрын
I can’t believe you said that. As awful as it sounds I hope my daughter doesn’t have children. I’ve traced it back at least 7 generations in my family. I think it’s the only way it’s going to end all the drug and alcohol addiction and the mental illness that runs in our family.. sad but true.
@jmoberg001
@jmoberg001 Жыл бұрын
Recently finished The Body Keeps the Score. It is a powerful, important, and moving work.
@SherryMacoy-dk4zh
@SherryMacoy-dk4zh 27 күн бұрын
Proud I had really good, loving parents. This is thanks to all my grandparents who were also wonderful parents. That John Mayer song is truer than true! I pray my husband and I are half the parents that my parents were/are to me. I have memories of feeling warm against my mom’s chest at a very young age and my mom bringing my sisters and I to parks to play in the dirt with sandwiches and healthy snacks. I have memories of feeling so safe with my dad while driving in the car. Also GOOD memories of my mom teaching me right from wrong. No yelling but stern, strict, consistent and predictable boundaries. ❤❤
@irreverentjules-240
@irreverentjules-240 8 ай бұрын
Wonderful clear, concise and compassionate explanation. I have witnessed a sister suffering PTSD simply from a fight with my nephew that eventually turned so inward that she ended up with autoimmune disease. Same with a friend who witnessed her fathers death rattle and struggling to breathe while dying. She ended up with breast cancer.
@Elizabeth-gu8hx
@Elizabeth-gu8hx 8 ай бұрын
I strongly recommend you try shrooms its a psychedelic treatment for depression when taken with a guide, saved me from years of depression and anxiety when I lost my family in car accident, I'll refer long term mycologist
@Elizabeth-gu8hx
@Elizabeth-gu8hx 8 ай бұрын
bergwilly11____
@Elizabeth-gu8hx
@Elizabeth-gu8hx 8 ай бұрын
On Instagram
@mocerlaalacbaino
@mocerlaalacbaino Жыл бұрын
You are normal. Anybody else who would have lived in your body would act the same way as you do. So you are actually pretty normal according to what happened to you. So don't change a thing until it changes by itself.
@Amanita._.Verosa._.
@Amanita._.Verosa._. Жыл бұрын
Thank you.
@instayville-is2no
@instayville-is2no Жыл бұрын
We need more from this guy.
@kevinsayes
@kevinsayes Жыл бұрын
From a vet, thanks doc Seems to me, a layman in every way, that quieting the default mode network is the key to well being in many areas. Trauma, mindfulness, anxiety…I hope psychoactive compounds continue to be decriminalized, if in fact they continue to prove to be an effective treatment
@spirit9091
@spirit9091 Жыл бұрын
I am sure psychedelics will become legalised and in big part because veterans want and need them, so there is bipartisan support.
@Violet-qf8dr
@Violet-qf8dr Жыл бұрын
Not a Veteran, just had a bad childhood... and I feel that LSD saved my sanity. I would also recommend flower essences, also known as Bach Flower Remedies. Chapparal is great for PTSD.
@bellamariebeauty8148
@bellamariebeauty8148 10 ай бұрын
my therapist simply acknowledging my trauma, accepting and saying how it was understandable I react the way I do in similar situations did SO much for me. insane
@vitoriacastro6889
@vitoriacastro6889 5 ай бұрын
As a trauma reseacher it's so interesting to see Dr. Kolk because i'm finally matching a face to the name a saw on articles for years
@SergeC72
@SergeC72 Жыл бұрын
Understanding what is Trauma, his books and EMDR therapy saved my life. Thank you for this video.
@TheOneWhoKnocks70
@TheOneWhoKnocks70 Жыл бұрын
Andrew huberman recently made a video on how journaling can help with trauma and anxiety. Its not a normal kind of journaling
@hollyfabiani
@hollyfabiani 8 ай бұрын
The was the spire stone back in the day... knowing is one thing.. physiological symptoms are another
@ThrdWrldGrl
@ThrdWrldGrl 6 ай бұрын
proprioceptive journalling.
@roseannnichol2913
@roseannnichol2913 11 ай бұрын
Thank you. I've thought about the probability of most of our society having PTSD after prolonged exposure to violence of all kinds.
@allinclusive4943
@allinclusive4943 11 ай бұрын
My whole childhood was a feeling of shame and danger. Being in my late 40 I recover more and more from trauma and realise that I become a totally different person and feel totally different about myself. I'm so glad to heal, but it's so exhausting and sad. I realise that I often chose the wrong persons, jobs, partners...😢 It's hard to fix my life but its so worth it
@zade-ut4hw
@zade-ut4hw 7 ай бұрын
Hi, I'm struggling with this also. It seems like I keep on choosing to be in a toxic environment because abuse is all I know but I don't know how to get out of it. I hope it wouldn't take much of your time but I would like to ask how you're able to heal from it.
@allinclusive4943
@allinclusive4943 7 ай бұрын
@@zade-ut4hw I feel you! It still fehlst Not right to be in a calm, friendly envoirement. I take therapeutic lessons / help ( thank god its free in germany), and it helps a lot to hear podcasts and yt about trauma/healing... I wish you all the best⚘❤
@Mika._.404
@Mika._.404 9 ай бұрын
Something that helped me understand and value my needs more, was when a friend of mine told me a very wise thing: „Trauma isn’t always what happened, trauma can also be something that didn’t happen.“
@msnisperos
@msnisperos 9 ай бұрын
I came here to watch this because I have PTSD, but the editing choice of imagery and music make this so intense as to be not accessible. I wish that folks would keep the audience in mind
@AidilAfham
@AidilAfham Жыл бұрын
Imagine being a child in armed conflict being bombed every night. What amount of trauma do they face, even if they don’t remember it, their bodies do. How will they grow up?
@pixel9548
@pixel9548 Жыл бұрын
What of child soldiers? they have been robbed of their humanity.
@-._.-KRiS-._.-
@-._.-KRiS-._.- 9 ай бұрын
And child brides. More humanity robbed.
@AysenGuler369-zs1om
@AysenGuler369-zs1om 6 ай бұрын
Angry and dangerous.
@opinionsvary
@opinionsvary 6 ай бұрын
In my opinion: It happens more than you know. Israel is exactly like that. It's normalative culture there.
@chocolatecookie8571
@chocolatecookie8571 Жыл бұрын
My body has a cummulation of chronic pains due to all kinds of abuse. The more years pass by the more pains add to the already existing pain. I really tried hard to prevent traumas and to get rid of the hurt built up in various places in my body and soul but I didn’t succeed. I try to live with it and stay out of trouble as much as possible but living in a violent abusive societt it makes it almost impossible.
@AddisonKirk-y2q
@AddisonKirk-y2q 11 ай бұрын
Complex PTSD is sometimes worse than PTSD. I read his book 10 yrs ago. It was a tremendous help. If you live in the Boston area his clinic is still open.
@akarti__
@akarti__ 5 ай бұрын
Clicked because of the Henri Matisse thumbnail, stayed because of how impactful the video was. Thank you for making this.
@mindy1230
@mindy1230 11 ай бұрын
One hit on the surreal experience. You grapple to react in the moment. Like a solider, you have to face forward and get through it but there is great confusion as your body is jittery with adrenaline. It's when you are safe that everything comes to the front for you. And you feel crazy. 😢
@jason1440
@jason1440 11 ай бұрын
I can attest to this. PTSD and not dealing with it destroyed my career. I worked so hard to get the career I wanted and something like this destroyed it.
@relaxedforger
@relaxedforger 11 ай бұрын
same for me, potentially. I don’t fully understand it all yet I’m in the middle, but that career, was a short extremely, extremely fruitful window is now closed and passion not there. Now I have nothing to show for myself to prove I am much greater than my shit life.
@floatinglotuswomenswellness
@floatinglotuswomenswellness Жыл бұрын
I'm a bodyworker, and I want to be able to help people release the traumas lodged unconsciously in their bodies. Not through talk therapy (though it should be an integral part of recovery) but through finding where it hurts and helping it to release gently and safely. The Body Keeps the Score is on my coffee table right now so I can read some of it every evening. It is incredible and is improving my work in leaps and bounds.
@RanmaSyaoranSaotome
@RanmaSyaoranSaotome Жыл бұрын
Bodywork is a pseudoscience.
@tanu5401
@tanu5401 Жыл бұрын
What is this form of therapy called ?
@flowhypno4524
@flowhypno4524 Жыл бұрын
I’ve just trained in a body based approach called Havening, which you might like as a body worker. It works great for folks who don’t want to talk about their trauma…
@thelemon5069
@thelemon5069 11 ай бұрын
​@@RanmaSyaoranSaotomesounds like reiki lol
@arielsmith5929
@arielsmith5929 11 ай бұрын
There is also a form of therapy called Trauma Release Therapy (TRE)@@tanu5401
@semiautumatic
@semiautumatic 10 ай бұрын
Life changed RAPIDLY and DELICIOUSLY when I started trauma informed therapy
@Kathyahedrick3
@Kathyahedrick3 9 ай бұрын
You are absolutely correct about all of this. I’m 62 yr old woman who still has panic attacks GAD since the age of 17, due to many painful events in my life! Thank you for sharing the knowledge to those who don’t understand!
@joshuahuynh1701
@joshuahuynh1701 11 ай бұрын
An excellent and provocative study on trauma. It contains many heart breaking accounts of trauma survivors, the body keeps the score will open up pathways to new avenues of psychology and psychiatry for many years to come. The Body Keeps the Score ultimately is a book on the resiliency of our species and the many ways in which we deal with our unforgiving past. Life affirming, heart breaking, tear jerking. This book should give many trauma survivors not only the various tools and guides to help them understand and heal from the past, but also brings a feeling of community, belonging and the sense that not only are they not crazy, but perhaps the strongest amongst us.
@xtianvcnti
@xtianvcnti Жыл бұрын
For the first time in a long time, I feel understood. Thank you.
@jellypopcorn
@jellypopcorn 10 ай бұрын
_I think this video is very important- both of my parents passed away, only a few years apart in my mid 20s. I have seen many therapists to try and make support for myself. But I realise unfortunately even people with decades of life over me, do not know the experience and the trauma behind losing these kinds of connections at what feels like such an early age, it has completely changed my life and altered my perception of many many things. For example my memory has been severely affected, as I feel like im trying harder to remember my parents, more than my current memories_
@mustafakemalpasha983
@mustafakemalpasha983 7 ай бұрын
This comment touched me deeply, my dear. Losing one's family members must be a very painful experience. Remember that you are not alone. and that you are loved.
@destinyij2097
@destinyij2097 7 ай бұрын
Wow thank you for sharing, I lost my father 6 months ago. Nothing can prepare you for the loss of a parent. I trust in the Lord Jesus, He is getting me through day by day. I pray God will give you supernatural strength too x
@retiredmenace
@retiredmenace 11 ай бұрын
I would give up everything I owned to be genuinely helped by someone like this!! Just traumatic event, after traumatic event. I want to learn how to live.
@mariettestabel275
@mariettestabel275 11 ай бұрын
Do what you like... Take care 👋
@deborahmiller-albanese1262
@deborahmiller-albanese1262 10 ай бұрын
I am a survivor of childhood abuses and only recently have acknowledged that I am a survivor. There is an enormous gap between the medical world and survivors. I'm trying to use my story to close that gap. It's only recently that I have become aware of this book and the work that's being done to help spread awareness. I believe that I have something important to contribute but lack the platform to reach a mass of people that can guide me.
@takyrica
@takyrica 9 ай бұрын
Acknowledge is HUGE so congratulations. I have a close family member that denied for years and years but has now accepted. Tremendous healing is in progress and it wouldn’t have been possible without accepting their reality. I pray you continue to head in a positive direction along your journey.
@OrlieJohn
@OrlieJohn Жыл бұрын
I appreciate this video now I understand why I feel scared and weak when confronting other people.
@_Geist
@_Geist Жыл бұрын
thank you so much, Dr. van der Kolk, for this powerful work you've done for the world. i do believe this is seriously a key to deep social change, and i am so empowered by this book, that i instantly developed a mission in my mind and heart to use my skills as an artist to translate what your book has to say, to the best of my abilities, into visuals which can be most quickly processed and digested by the minds who need this help the most, so who might be the hardest to convince. this book makes too much sense not to convince people who know what to do, to redesign crucial societal structures. it might take generations, but that's normal, right? i don't care. it's worth it, to reduce the overall suffering of humanity and the earth. i honestly believe we can do something Big with this. we've GOT this, folks.
@Juliebear122
@Juliebear122 Жыл бұрын
do you mind going more in depth what you plan to do with your artistic skills in this specifically? I’m interested. Also willing to eventually contribute to a part of this change
@_Geist
@_Geist 9 ай бұрын
@@Juliebear122 sorry for super late reply, but I'm still formulating exactly what i want to do. the key factors are sorta transcendentalist style Art and Love, because in my experience, these factors are not treated seriously at a societal level, and this cultural influence leaves people at the individual level vulnerable to all the effects of not getting to know oneself, which leaves doors open for abuse. Arts and outlets for emotional energy of all kinds are as important as air and water, i think, and a lot of disorder comes from ideologies which dismiss, corrupt, and abuse the accessibility of such crucial factors of mental processing, and thus informed consent. in my mind: flood all systems with Love and reasons to Journal Your Art, whatever it is that an individual makes, tangible or digital. give this idea to each person, and find ways to give these methods a schedule of time and space to become healthy patterns. give people ways to access art which they already have in their lives for free, because art can be anything. all i think is needed is a reminder that we all have art in us, and just the same as emotions, it evolved for adaptive reasons. the easiest way to spread this? you don't even have to explain to anyone who might not care. just encourage their personal creative problem solving style non-judgmentally, and let's see what happens. it only needs to focus on the good reasons to do it, because the bad emotions will come out to be processed whether they're invited or not. this is safer, imo, than lashing out at one another during group efforts. sorry for the wall o text! lol. but i want solutions that come from the inside that don't cost money that people don't have. (can you tell i flunked out of pursuing art therapy work, lol) [edit]: oh, also i need to design a way for this to be handled by the average person which prepares them for the level of difficulty of repressed emotions, and what to do when they come out.
@martinutr
@martinutr Жыл бұрын
Thank you for these valuable insights. It gives me a better perspective in how trauma can have such profound and long lasting impacts.
@saltwaterpurl
@saltwaterpurl 9 ай бұрын
Being seen and heard is the most important part of healing. Everyone listen to that last section a couple more times. This means we can all learn to take care of each other better. Allowing each other to acknowledge the pain in our stories IS the definition of resilience. By not talking about it, be judgmental, and not normalizing people’s responses to disturbing events, we create trauma in them and ourselves. We need to be each other’s medicine men, wise women, shamans, and healers. Professional help is great too, but we shouldn’t be relying on it the way we do.
@meni1003
@meni1003 2 ай бұрын
Started therapy at 20. Knew there was something “strange” about the way I would start violently shaking, lose the ability to speak, turn red, heart racing, etc., whenever someone yelled at me or someone else. Years of counseling helped some things, but never addressed what turned out to be repeated trauma responses to chronic abuse I suffered all throughout childhood. Then again, I rarely talked about it, nor do I recall being asked specifically. Even still, I just assumed all kids were being brutally beaten and berated behind closed doors. At 48, I still get nervous if someone stands behind me or if I hear voices that are too loud, sometimes even if they're cheerful voices. Cars that roar by with thumping base lines unconsciously remind me of the foot stomps I’d hear on their way to my childhood room as I’d tense up for another beating. This book connected all the dots for the first time and still does when I need to refer back to it. Therapies in my area are still lacking these days, but I just remind myself that just like someone with a pancreas that can’t make insulin, my nervous system struggles to stay calm in the face of triggers, but I keep at it. Bless Bessel and his dedication to such a noble cause. And bless us all who benefit from his work.
@cheyennem25
@cheyennem25 10 ай бұрын
I really needed this video. It was so validating. I think I might have PTSD from a series of extremely traumatic events so difficult I have zero memories of them happening other than the aftermath, but I sometimes wonder if my trauma is even valid enough. Hearing that even small things are able to cause a big impact is so validating, because I think I undersell to myself just how bad things were. I've been very privileged in my life so I feel like I don't have the right, but the things I went through in rapid succession is something I wouldn't wish on anybody.
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