Bitlife but I am a complete psychopath

Bitlife allows me to live the life I always wanted
/
Twitter: / callmekevin1811
Instagram: / callmekevin1811
Edited by @Kippesoep001, @TropicalFreeze2 and Kevin
Patreon Producers ♥
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Sen
Severium (Shea Mackintosh) aka sevybevy
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[@CallMeKevin]

Thanks for all your support folks, it has been really motivating me :)

[@goldzen2509]

Call Me Kevin no problem,your amazing

[@dylandwhat]

kevin if you've been replaced by a robot reply with an emoji

[@Im-_-Brenden]

Hi kevin :3

[@TheGreatDearLeaderJimPickens]

Of course! Who could not support the greatest KZbinr of all time?

[@shannensoulsby1859]

Call Me Kevin all your videos have been great. Don’t push yourself too hard though xox

[@JargonMadjin]

Imagine that courtroom; "Defendant, who are you?" "Jim Pickens." "Prison sentence, 738 years."

[@anidiot192]

Bystander: seriously? Why? Judge: oh, you don't know...

[@thattempleguy6712]

"... leave my court, i want no part in your life, jim, you're free"

[@ft_shipper]

Imagine his blink literally turns you to dust

[@testaccount5991]

The max I've reached is 1276

[@CallMeEitan]

escapes right after sentence and judge dies mysteriously

[@courtneymoore3811]

*has a life of crime* *gets denied a child* Kevin: WHy

[@hotpocketbae2522]

Kim Namjoon's Wife lol

[@jocelynsaez2261]

I didn't know "Your Narrator" And "Boffy" had a kid named "Kevin"

[@Saturnlock]

I love how as soon as his sister was born he was diagnosed with depression

[@charadreemurr9179]

Oof

[@mcshizzles4411]

That hit a bit too close to home

[@Saturnlock]

@@mcshizzles4411 the phrase too close to home. Also how did that hit clise to home might I ask?

[@mcshizzles4411]

@@Saturnlock Yikes, my mistake. English isn't my first language 😅

[@mettatonex7221]

She was the cause of everything that went wrong in his life. His time in prison was because of her.

[@grakie5379]

kevin: gets diagnosed with fibromyalgia kevin: is this curable? me: *laughs in chronic illness*

[@robotripshit]

Grakie right?? and he still managed to get it cured anyway-

[@karoline9835]

I’m with you :( chronic illness gang ✌️😭✌️

[@myg_ho3127]

dude for real when it came up as cured i was like... if only 😭😭

[@O_Ciel_Phant0mhive]

Aw it’s okay ! Be strong 🥰🥰🥰 also I like your hair !

[@benholmes1399]

I'm oof

[@enter_your_anima]

Jim pickens mind in Kevin's eyes: Murder Jim pickens mind at 8: I am depressed

[@jenreii]

Tbf he did have a messed up childhood

[@enter_your_anima]

@@jenreii which one kevin or jim

[@buckett9758]

R3CAL both

[@kaanoguzhan5685]

@@jenreii a fellow Nightvaler here I see

[@nobody02348]

@Juan Cortez Muro stop linking viruses

[@nbtanna]

So disappointed that Poland has denied Jim's immigration request. As a Polish citizen I would totally let him into my house no questions asked. All hail dear leader.

[@wojciechp]

It's true it's sad, but Kevin wouldn't ask any questions. He would just go straight to your home, permission isn't required.

[@olasbannanas]

I'm also disappointed in my country for denying our dear leader

[@wren2624]

Juan Cortez Muro I hope you do stop linking virususes

[@wren2624]

Viruses*

[@Skrzacik]

I was so happy to see that Dear Leader is going to my country, but then... The disappointment hit ;(

[@thewanderingmistnull2451]

Kevin: **Sees Ex-Wife's name** "That's not her." **Reads "Ex_'s_ Wife"** Kevin: "Ah, there's my ex-wife."

[@Joy_ffa1bd]

right lmao

[@LordLightborn]

Turns out, the grammar makes a big difference!

[@zonkcronk]

“You burgled the rappers home and stole his teddy bear.” I feel like you just robbed Post Malone and gave the material for “Paranoid” 😂

[@aaroncook7866]

I think the title should be ‘Kevin trying to have a bit of a life’

[@jackbudi]

I’ve already failed that

[@IamaPERSON]

@Juan Cortez Muro now if only you did, self promoter

[@somerandomassguyontheinter2869]

ouch

[@iammyself1935]

where's the "but"?

[@aaroncook7866]

i am myself Ahahahaha oh yeah I forgot

[@calebwaugaman4732]

“Hey there friends” Top ten lines said moments before disaster

[@colorsrrealduh]

Das ist fantastisch, ja? The disaster is “my name is Kevin”

[@alvianekka80]

"My name is Kevin" *zoom in to random face*

[@Kmn2]

Spider Aba “today we’re gonna be doing something a little bit different”

[@CocoumKelsPerson]

"I guess chemistry would help in my villainy." Me, a chemist, sitting on my couch pantsless stuffing a giant apple fritter in my face: "huh?"

[@CocoumKelsPerson]

@@DarkVitamins yeah I'm turning sucrose into glucose. Mmmmm yummy

[@CocoumKelsPerson]

@Simon Liljestrand believe it or not, we did discuss it. I don't remember cuz it was like a 30 minute discussion just for fun. Definitely not curriculum. Shit that involves titrations are my shit. I'm an analytical chemist. Well, I want to be. Can't afford any grad school

[@CocoumKelsPerson]

@Simon Liljestrand I SUCK at programming. I love the super precise hands on stuff. At my university the bachelors was just a general. Like a little of everything. So I just have one in just plain chemistry. And I haven't used it in two years.

[@CocoumKelsPerson]

@Simon Liljestrand jealous on both ends. I'm 20K in debt and the best job I could get only paid 28K a year.

[@anth3368]

Sky Rene Wtf even is gluten?

[@vikshere]

"youre feeling heterosexual" jim: im literally a bi icon wtf u talking about

[@snarkiwi]

Lol That's the comment i came here to make

[@snarkiwi]

@ghostly I said, "Lol thats the comment I came here to make"

[@cheepoi3700]

He was just thinking about girls that year

[@Tarooo8]

What?

[@snarkiwi]

@@Tarooo8 jim says bi rights

[@BoredMurphy]

"Why is his looks so low?!" I have no clue but its inaccurate.

[@sapphireblue4031]

His extremely good looks broke the bar

[@JessycaLunawoona]

See, Jim’s looks are so high the bar overflowed.

[@SweetLolita]

Juan Cortez Muro what

[@nobody02348]

@Juan Cortez Muro stop linking viruses

[@caoimhedoesstuff9293]

How dare you speak that way about our dear leader

[@dannystirling5458]

I believe the title “I am a complete psychopath” would have been enough

[@ZombieMiezz]

For us it would be enough but Kevin has to grow his cult^^

[@jackbudi]

It applies to many things.

[@IamaPERSON]

@Juan Cortez Muro If you were dying right now, then at least we don't have to worry about you anymore.

[@robby576]

For every video

[@nobody02348]

@Juan Cortez Muro stop linking viruses

[@parryyotter]

“I’m in prison, you have to take care of me!” This is America, Kevin.

[@datdudetrent8938]

friarpark um...

[@comedybird9875]

friarpark um...

[@parryyotter]

Preacher Blackout Sure

[@parryyotter]

DatDudeTrent He set his game in America

[@robotripshit]

friarpark um...

[@crackedemerald4930]

When you see... Hot... Woman *"You're feeling strong heterosexual tendencies"* When you see Danny DeVito *"You're feeling overly strong homosexual tendencies"*

[@confusedpsyduck714]

So is he bi? 😏

[@squidge4728]

Women*

[@lcsty1017]

"Not a lot of people died, which is a shame". Call me Kevin, 2019.

[@woolfieMcP]

"I have been diagnosed with depression at age 8" Too real

[@jackbudi]

Oh no

[@IamaPERSON]

@Juan Cortez Muro Everyone makes mistakes, especially parents. You're a good example of that.

[@TheIndigoSystem]

Woolfie McPoshinson I was 14 when diagnosed but had issues since 10. Very real

[@woolfieMcP]

@@TheIndigoSystem Jesus. I hope you're feeling better now

[@IamaPERSON]

@@TheIndigoSystem not sure if it'll work, but ask your doctor if you can take Abilify. I took it when I had depression, and it definitely helped.

[@ryanzahn6581]

I watch Kevin because when he says "hey there friends" it makes me feel like I have friends

[@salemkitty5786]

Same lol. But are you doing okay? Hope you’re well, there are people who care about you :)

[@Ran_Do]

Kevin:”Why did your looks go down from failing the driving test”. Jim:”I crashed the car”.

[@olwynlamberti]

Did he hit someone coming out of a cinema?

[@greysherma4247]

@@olwynlamberti lol

[@groovygames3114]

“That’s my murderous sim” oh come on Kevin we all know that’s who you really are deep down

[@PsychOsmosis]

Kevin: **wants to murder Jim's ex** Also Kevin: **attempts to murder his ex's wife instead**

[@Neffectual]

"What is fibro-mya-ladgia....?" Me, with fibro "trust me, you're better off not knowing."

[@yopi_yopi]

Mood

[@Psera]

Your doctor cured fibromyalgia? Damn, give me her number.

[@abbythyst]

If you get it share sis 😫😫 that’s the type of medical care I’ve been waiting for after my 6 year diagnosis process 💀

[@easelqink2986]

Lol he did yoga-he unlocked the secret moves that cured him

[@nothingtoseehere7435]

@@easelqink2986 I've been doing yoga for 10 years. When do I learn the secret moves?

[@brooklynseftel6221]

you and me both.

[@ruthieherbst5578]

Same

[@jamaalshamsudeen3127]

Kevin should have been in KZbin rewind, that way we couldn’t dislike it

[@floralpinalen2095]

Kevin's too good for KZbin Rewind

[@sleepwalk-huh]

i'm calling it. next year youtube is going to make a terrible abomination out of rewind but kevin will just be standing there in the last 2 seconds so it's physically impossible to dislike

[@MortusSweet]

Welp…

[@JustThatWeirdoNextDoor]

“What is fibromyalgia?” Me. “Hell.” On a lighter note... love you Kevin, thanks for the laughs. 😝

[@boopadoop5296]

Kevin: he's my murderous sim Me: no he's not he's our dear leader

[@spookyspider2820]

James he is

[@Azby64]

Can it be both? 😝

[@user-hi4sm3ig5j]

'She's not my type'. Yes, she's not the grim reaper.

[@rafaelalodio5116]

Nor Shrek

[@eartheclipse8]

@@rafaelalodio5116 Nor Hagrid

[@_raeyon_]

Kevin: *about to murder someone* Kevin: hmm, maybe I should adopt a child. Adoption services: uhh, no you can't adopt a child. Kevin: *confused Pikachu face*

[@_raeyon_]

Love how it's stuck at 469 ;)

[@TheBenSanders]

"None needs to know I'm playing this... this is between you and me, right?" Your secret is safe with me Kevin.

[@dave6599]

Jim: *Gets TB* Arthur Morgan: “First Time?”

[@peterotoole6269]

"Bitlife but it's a cruel, cruel world"

[@miochii138]

have some goddamn faith jim

[@peterotoole6269]

@@miochii138 "I have a plan! We just gotta make a lotta noise, make a lotta money, get the hell out of prison, and get a penis enlargement!"

[@chrisfoudy3841]

“You’ll be ok Boah.”

[@MistakenAxis]

nice spoilers

[@TheHawkeward]

Kevin: Is fibro curable? Me: Haha I've had it for years and it gets worse every day, good luck with that bu- Kevin: I CURED IT Me: ...

[@TheIndigoSystem]

I have it too, and EDS. So I feel ya

[@NeciaNavine]

I FUCKIN WISH

[@PommeDeTerre8]

Oh god same here, if only. I want Jim's doctor, mine just tell me to do yoga like bruh.

[@damnafffjfyu1789]

XD i was looking for this comment

[@filipasantos2908]

For a moment I finally understood Jim Pickens.

[@Indigo_404]

I’m begging you to make this a series, I was in stitches

[@rafaelalodio5116]

That would be cool, I started playing this game after I saw his video.

[@CatMuto]

Yes! Let's see what would happen with Beejay or even First Name. The latter already has an interesting life going on in Sims, let's see what would happen here!

[@noahwattel4226]

I feel like Jim Pickens could sit out those 738 years without dying.

[@hitsugatatsuro9978]

Jim: *dies from tuberculosis while on the run from the law.* Me: *flashbacks from Red Dead Redemption 2*

[@kentrostomy6088]

That's so fitting though

[@wouldyoulikeaspritecranber3563]

noOo i-

[@cindysullivan4867]

nooooo

[@kim533]

Omg noooo :(

[@vidcunttheunbroken4704]

1:39 that's actually Kevin coming out on top

[@abbythyst]

When Kevin said “what is fibro myallggitgtjdnha” I felt that Said the same thing as I was diagnosed 😂😂

[@abbythyst]

Also I wish it was that easy to cure cause as of now still ain’t a thing irl 🤣🤣

[@TheIndigoSystem]

Ah another Fibro warrior. I have EDS too. Bah. I knew what it was when diagnosed because I had to fight for 4 years to get a diagnosis.

[@SingerNixa]

I was waiting for someone to mention that lol. Fellow Fibrofriend. Can totally relate to all this. Stay strong! I know it's tough but just take it one day at a time

[@abbythyst]

TheFoxFan yeah i have Fibro and Juvenile Arthritis, both which don’t have cures cause we all know all chronic illness suck 😂😂 spoonie gang in the comments it looks like 👀

[@abbythyst]

Kali Mcpherson i know right 😂😂 “can i get it cured?” I was like lmao good luck with that buddy then 0.2 s later I was like 🤭🤭🤭 also we love a fibro-gang In the comments, stay stong lovelies! ❤️❤️

[@maggiedasler1265]

no one: literally not a single soul: not even First Name in the after life: Kevin: “I have worms”

[@jolynekujobackfromprison744]

Can we just let this meme format die? It is a one note meme that takes no effort to make. Even adding the bit before Kevin didn't add anything to make it original. I guess my point is that there are other ways to make a funny comment rather than copy and paste a format that has been done to death and only making slight alterations.

[@colemacgrath2005]

Jolyne Kujo, back from prison agree

[@avividdream]

A doctor curing Fibro? Damn they sound magical I need this in my life. Also no there isn't a cure for it, but damn it I can dream!

[@lithiumkid]

yeah i wonder if it meant it just eased up since for some people the symptoms do randomly go away.

[@alfiemccormack7988]

just realized that in the first vid he didn't do any activities, just pressed age over and over again

[@SI-FI_creations]

I appreciate that Kevin's uploads are on time, because when I'm bored, I can count on getting an awesome video at 1:00 (my time)

[@ignotuscapillary8313]

Ah, it's ten at night for me buddy. And I like my sleep, so it takes ungodly amounts of caffeine to keep me running.

[@ceruleanfox]

SI FI Same. I always take my lunch break at 1:00 so that I can watch 🥰

[@hobbitpeddler4267]

@@ceruleanfox same here!

[@Thenoobestgirl]

Are you from kangaroo land?

[@ritakauldav]

I have to stay up till 2 00 am So I guess i am pretty unlucky

[@dariusleviathan1390]

10:11 "yes i can afford the surgery, this has been my life goal......it was botched" -when you finally realise that after all you hard work trying do better and be happy its all pointlessness and meaningless in the end. cause we're all gonna fall into this perpetual void doing what we're being programmed to before we inevitably die LOVE the vids Kev

[@LeveyHere]

Alternative Title: "Playing a game where I do what I usually do, entertain and terrorize"

[@floregzx]

"We are going to Poland!" Me: *y e s*

[@Kai-zz3no]

Maacaroni me just there like kocham cie 😤🥰❤️

[@floregzx]

@@Kai-zz3no no nie? xd

[@floregzx]

@@Kai-zz3no ale go deportowali, sad

[@johnnymiellony6164]

Szkoda xd

[@Kai-zz3no]

Omg yes polish gang rise up Okay in reality I can’t spell in polish but I can read okay :(

[@leloshi4754]

Kevin: Don’t have a life, there’s an app for that Hitman: want to take a life, there’s an app for that

[@elernation5519]

Me: “I’ve played BitLife since November 2018. I’ve done everything!!” *Kevin messes up the game cutely*

[@stefanm.734]

0:55 "My parents had a baby girl, my new sister. I have been diagnosed with depression."

[@bittercharmer4870]

Kevin is the first image result I get by googling "handsome fecker."

[@saucepanman8188]

Almost every image result is Kevin and I love this fact

[@YellowCrew_]

r/callmekevin Handsome Fecker is Kevin

[@lrose1310]

Jamilia would be the name of Jim Picken's sister. It kinda sounds like a feminine form of Jim.

[@martabartoszewska104]

Or it could also be Jimantha

[@marissam9551]

Marta Bartoszewska Now I’m getting desperate housewives flashbacks

[@martabartoszewska104]

@@marissam9551 And don't forget Lifeline, that voice-controlled game

[@TheSpy149]

Nah jinnifier is the best option

[@insertname1857]

"what is fibromyalgia? is it curable?" well here's the chronic in chronic illness, friend

[@yumeyumeappleo]

“Bitlife but I’m a complete psychopath” Me: so nothing different huh?

[@deadname3350]

even if he said it jokingly, my poor gay heart can barely handle Kevin saying the phrase "I'm bisexual"

[@pissapocalypse]

He might be but I don't want to assume

[@george4610]

Keep dreaming

[@triquinity]

wtf

[@jay-sansings5024]

Rip

[@meowdyllic]

@@george4610 bruh

[@KitsuNerezza]

Day 114 of asking Kevin to play Ace Attorney some day and have all hell break loose in the courtroom

[@valerio1257]

Been sentenced in prison for 16 years, tries to adopt a child right after "I got rejected, WHY??"

[@ajmeyang8495]

I played the game and lasted to 100 years old, i was a millionaire, i had a husband who died at the age 78, i had 2 dogs, and was a banker. Im pretty proud of myself to be honest.😊

[@TARALEKTRO]

When u hear that “hey there Friends how’s it going?” And all your weekly Depression is cured

[@DaNiLY]

Day seven of telling Kevin he’s the greatest KZbinr ever.

[@floofyfoxxo744]

Hai fellow furry!

[@obentomagnum]

me: ah im having a fibromyalgia flare up and its making me sad cos it hurts. i know! ill watch a call me kevin video to distract me this video: talks about fibro within the first 2 minutes me:

[@salemkitty5786]

Hope you’re doing okay!

[@morgueyy]

same, like i wanna escape the pain not remember others don’t even know it exists lol. or i’ll be having a flare and i’ll see someone on tv or something make a joke about fibro being fake and just :(. tis the life of invisible illness lol

[@lithiumkid]

@@morgueyy what show says that 😦 how audacious. i’ve thankfully never heard that besides in online comments.

[@spicymilk6715]

Love how Jim Pickens is a bi icon

[@lorenzovakarian]

Since 2019 is a few weeks away from coming to an end, I'm gonna be a sappy fecker and thank you for all the amazing content you given us this year, Kevin. Not only have you done so much to help my mental health during some super difficult times, but you've clearly grown as a person and as a creator and I'm just so super proud of you. Hoping that 2020 ends up being your best year ever, you deserve all the success in the world. Proud to be one of your fans. 💚

[@duckymomo69]

Hear hear!

[@ritakauldav]

It's not a fanbase, it's a cult

[@martabartoszewska104]

Let's hope he won't get hit by any cars. All hail our Dear Leader!

[@siedland]

Kevin: Emigrate to Poland Me: Welcome to Poland, here are your pierogi

[@JohnDoe-on6ru]

"Let's see what kind of club would I joi...THAT WAS A GUN! **click**"

[@spikey3374]

Kevin: what the hell is fibromyalgia?! Me: *having fibromyalgia* well um... Oh yeah and it isn't curable bitlife?!

[@lithiumkid]

yeah but for some people it will just go away. so i wonder if it meant something more like “remission” but they couldn’t change the fact that the game system uses the word cure for all ailments

[@BoredMurphy]

"I DON'T WANT ADS" So you're making us suffer too?

[@Unluckycat1351]

Willow Draws Stuff hi willow

[@anniefriedbacher9708]

Lmao Kevin you make me CACKLE “Join social media, this is where your life goes downhill” ain’t that the truth lol

[@c.a.1506]

I love that Jim Pickens was played as an American, feels right somehow

[@daphnexlove98]

I love the no context comment on 5:16 "I looked at some butts" 🤣

[@Milesofgaming]

"Oh god I got chlamydia" Kevin 2019

[@BleedingHeartsoftheWorldUnite]

I'd be curious to see how the entire CallMeKevin catalog of characters get on in BitLife myself..... But maybe that's just me.

[@jasminecharlotta4230]

13:02 aww he suffered the same fate as arthur morgan :((

[@BlueLion6789]

why was the tiny “hey there friends!” when the dog ran by so funny

[@kevinuploadedsonowimhere9781]

who just automatically dislikes Kevin’s videos this hasn’t even been out for a minute

[@FirstnameLastname-jb4ne]

Rtgame

[@Thenoobestgirl]

Generic haters

[@namename9769]

This whole “Psychopath” thing in the titles is really starting to take effect...

[@freddy9023]

Kevin: "she's pretty crazy. Ask her out on a date." Me: " if that's the only qualification needed I'm your girl! " 😂😂😂😂

[@crippledcow2235]

wow Ur so quirky

[@freddy9023]

Exotic Dolphin You’re

[@crippledcow2235]

@@freddy9023 wow ur so quirky and obnoxious

[@freddy9023]

Exotic Dolphin you’re.

[@crippledcow2235]

@@freddy9023 hehe

[@Kazooples]

Watching this while suffering from a terrible fibromyalgia flare up, gonna call that number

[@FirstnameLastname-jb4ne]

You could end every single callmekevin with “but I am a complete psychopath”

[@mouriceer]

Kevin: *tries to move to Poland* Me, a pole: :)

[@TyeDyeLollipop16]

I don't usually comment but man was this video just top notch The jokes, the editing, the pace, it is honestly one of your best videos you've put out in a while!! Keep it up my man

[@KloinkySploink]

12:04 “May I stand unshaken”

[@finno5827]

Jim Pickens: has depressions in the age of 8 *BILLIE EILISH WANTS TO KNOW YOUR LOCATION*

[@carbondurian5019]

Jim Pickens : Diagnosed with depression at age 8

[@NationalistSarajlija1992]

no one: kevin: 7:33

[@whojoe8173]

1:05 Jim: i am gonna end this man's whole career

[@laurab7754]

2:20 I wish I could cure my fibromyalgia that easily

[@abbythyst]

Laura B feel that honestly 🥴 i mean it only took me six years to even get a diagnosis to then be told “haha yeah but there is no cure or treatment that we know of that helps goodluck!”

[@Thegoldmaster_X]

I’ve been wanting him to add jim to the game and he some how he read my mind.

[@OliviaIsNaff]

I downloaded this because of your first video and have been playing it non-stop. More please, they crack me up.

[@starwarseternity1354]

Kevin: "bit life but I'm a complete sycopath." Me: and.....

[@trash1804]

Alternative title: Bitlife bit every time I get an ad I plug my merch

[@BeatleGirl37]

I love that the background music is from Sims 1. 👌🏻

[@ShamelessFNGRL]

As someone with fibromyalgia, it's great to a game bring some awareness to it in any way possible. Ty for googling it, Kev.

[@LWKLlamas]

I put my Jim Pickens poster in the living room so everyone must praise him before they sit down >:D

[@raveenaj9255]

me graduating from college: 8:11

[@BabyDigi]

8:24 yo I’m CRYING 😭😭 “nonononono”

[@astrofornaught]

Kevin make more of these (if you want) they're really fun to watch!! love your video as always ❤️

[@AmyPondFangirl]

Kevin confirming that Jim is a bisexual icon made my bi heart happy

[@iTzOSA]

ofc jim pickens fucks everybody

[@FletcherCat]

Same here

[@IamaPERSON]

@Juan Cortez Muro aw, I thought you actually were! Then we wouldn't have to deal with your self promoting anymore.

[@monty609]

We stan a Bi cultist leader

[@AmyPondFangirl]

@@monty609 mood

[@glaciemdraco]

Truly the game for Kevin. Would love to see him try generations in Bitlife, Jim Pickens family I guess XD

[@jamesonfarrell7970]

“Not a lot of people died which is a shame”

[@pastelsparadox]

Going back and watching some of these old ones... Kevin's bitlife videos will always, ALWAYS make me want to play the game more than the official ads ever will.

[@ingvildsvendsrud6937]

6:00 FECK, indeed