Bitlife but I speedrun killing all my people

[@jamieisfierce]

Kevin seeing himself: Oh my god kill him! Kill him! Game: knobby knees Kevin: *turns into wounded kitten* wHy WoULd yOu sAy ThAt...

[@IamaPERSON]

RIP Kevin

[@corismith3571]

That’s the thing I’m sensitive about!

[@kaoriheartfilia2783]

@@corismith3571 Is that a John Mulaney reference lol?

[@corismith3571]

kaori heartfilia Sure is

[@yourboydoublepinkeye]

Cori Smith damn those eighth graders!

[@SurrealKeenan]

Die Young: "I'm not locked in here with you. You're locked in here with me!"

[@crusader2718]

Die young is the suicidal jon wick

[@daniellewebber9693]

if you click “visit grave” once you die it will tell you ur stats ex: how many people you killed, number of lovers, number of children, and who visited ur grave

[@chloe3100]

Why tf did 4 pornbots comment on this

[@daniellewebber9693]

Chloe DeVall dude I have no idea hahaha

[@BoltBlaster]

@@chloe3100 u must be attracting them then.

[@daniellewebber9693]

Chloe DeVall they are all thirsty for Kevin ig hahah

[@chloe3100]

Makes sense, who isn't?

[@robbmitchell7846]

Die Young: Age-32. Kills-7. CoD- Attacked w/ Scissors Premature Death: Age-27. Kills-0. CoD- Botched Surgery Minimum Life: Age-3. Kills-0. CoD-Massive Injuries. (Booty Stab) Destiny Istodie: Age-29. Kills-3/3. CoD-HIV complications I Istodie: Age-46. Kills-0. CoD-Airplane Accident (First Flying Lesson) There ya go folks, and, Kevin if ya see this.

[@charliefinnmichael4770]

That's beautiful

[@natdavliam]

I had a guy who aged to 96 a youtuber. then I had a pornstar who died from a stroke.

[@natdavliam]

@@charliefinnmichael4770 at 69

[@mrdooce7053]

@@natdavliam nice

[@natdavliam]

@@mrdooce7053 yes

[@chaseowen2998]

"I'm eighteen, I'm unvaccinated, and I'm ready for a night on the town". File that under Sentences I Never Thought I'd Hear

[@spira543]

This has the same energy as “I am homeless, I am gay, I have aids, I am new in town”

[@fredericodemouraportugal343]

@@spira543 I didn't expect to see a Tall Child reference in here. Nice

[@HellsDeity]

@@spira543 I came here to say the same thing 😂

[@Jason_Altea]

@@fredericodemouraportugal343 "No one says look at that *man,* they all say 'oh look, a tall child.'"

[@Raven-wq4li]

it sounds like that Jonh Mulaney bit

[@becausehiddles]

The name "Die Young" isn't for her. It's for everyone around her.

[@austinmann1435]

But die young killed a lot of elderly people

[@trulyimpossible4124]

Most of the people she killed were like 80

[@smilemore1997]

Just like my username except the complete opposite. I'm usually a huge asshole on KZbin.

[@yuki97kira]

Including clara who was 73

[@beastchurger]

@@amphetamineterror7 ENSNDSJSJSJDKSJS

[@callmeturg]

The “oof” after Kevin snaps on the headphones brings me joy

[@romanfee4269]

Same

[@anniedangerface]

I almost made a very similar comment ahaha, it was such a happy oof!

[@literallysoap9978]

Call me TURG

[@forestofsecrets7273]

agree

[@callmeturg]

Jonze Wright yes he is

[@YoNicePaprika]

can we have a book of kevin quotes? i'd like to vote in my favs: "i'm becoming a priest... 'i lack the qualifications'? why? because i killed 3 people?" "can i hire a hitman on the baby i didn't really want it i just wanted the stds that come with it"

[@AceOfBlackjack]

Oh no!

[@AceOfBlackjack]

We must fight for KZbin!

[@mr.spaceaids5379]

i mean there is one already...2 actually in Jim Picken's channel

[@kalkinzinsunpraiser1548]

I really want a closer look at his eyebrow, it is super red, he shouldn't have gone out in the sunlight.

[@2knives1cook]

"my respect is feckin huge in prison"

[@Me-xr8lu]

“Their health is at 6% and they’re 18 years old” relatable

[@storiesofsarahtonin]

In the words of Alanis Morissette: "He waited his whole damn life to take that flight. And as the plane crashed down, he thought: 'Well, isn't this nice.'"

[@Enjoythesilence21]

ITS A BLACK FLY, IN YOUR CHARDONNAY

[@Enjoythesilence21]

IT'S A DEATH ROW PARDON, TWO MINUTES TOO LATE

[@JustinY.]

Kevin out here roleplaying as a warlord in the medieval ages while simultaneously using modern age equipment

[@woofyou1186]

Justin why

[@fishparti]

Hello there Justin

[@crypticham1053]

Does commenting recommend videos get boring

[@anirudhsharma9802]

Modern age equipment more like bore ragnarok

[@michaelsalmon2248]

Y.

[@lucasalistair1413]

Die Young should go to the Jim Pickens universe... I think they would get along nicely

[@IamaPERSON]

@@lucasalistair1413 just report them on their channel

[@idle-hands]

@BACKY ! 24 I WANT SЕЕХ !!!! OPEN MY PROFILE !!!! No

[@tacoburrito8785]

69 like now we got to get 69 comments Edit: who the fuck liked it when it was on 69

[@IamaPERSON]

@@tacoburrito8785 idk

[@KingNedya]

If this ever happens, they should be a vampire. It matches their preferred method of killing.

[@lorenzovakarian]

Tell me I'm not the only one who laughed at "Minimum McDonald"

[@_dorogon_]

Wtf are these replies

[@papajohn5279]

Jesus Christ, I genuinely feel sorry for you. These bots on this god-awful site are getting worse each day. edit: they're gone now, thank god

[@Grace-qk1vx]

The bots that commented💀💀

[@iamfunnierthan2476]

These porn bots are multiplying

[@lorenzovakarian]

@@papajohn5279 Eh, don't worry, it's no worse than the time I upset a bunch of K-Pop stans and they flooded my notifs 😂🤭

[@clongshanks5206]

“I pounded my brother!” Whoa whoa, that’s too much “I pounded my brother...’s throat” That’s...better

[@Nottyastro]

I'm glad I'm not the only one who caught onto that

[@corismith3571]

Kevin’s reaction to knobby knees made me instantly hear John Mulaney saying “that’s the thing I’m sensitive about”

[@Randomstuff-mo5zh]

Hahahaha! I love John Mulaney!

[@chbmckie]

“Hold on, let me commit some crime to get money for the witch doctor!” - CallMeKevin 2020

[@Pear_chan]

Can't believe Kevin never called any of his characters 'Ivana Dysoon'.

[@TheWeirdOtaku]

That’s some Ace Attorney levels of puns and I’m here for it

[@sonyab1974]

@@TheWeirdOtaku Haha. I'm here for it too. :)

[@pinchofgoth5477]

Y E S

[@livispuzzled]

@@TheWeirdOtaku i watched this video when it first came out and didn’t understand this. i’m an ace attorney fan and i understand now ✋😔

[@mickytherat8020]

@@livispuzzled SAL MANILLA

[@razorsharp5643]

"I'm age 6 and I killed someone." Typical Kevin, nothing to see here.

[@anotheridentitycrisis354]

"at age 6 I was born without a face"

[@Snaking_Gamer]

"at age 6 I saw the attack of the porn bots"

[@Zuberm1]

@Sarah - ღ see my video ღ Play with my tits ღ ew emoji normie what a loser 😅😅😅😆😆😆

[@themonsterunderyourbed.7620]

Kevin: *tries to make a character that lives long* Bitlife: *they get every disease ever known* Kevin: *tries to make a character that dies early* Bitlife: RIP AND TEAR!!!

[@micahphilson]

Kevin: "I'm going to make you fight everyone to try and get you killed" Die Young: _becomes Bruce Lee_

[@Shoub-kb9sk]

The guards didn’t stop Kevin in prison because they lived in fear of him.

[@madcat1865]

It was the Pickens Prison for the Criminal in Training

[@siouk4979]

Kevin when he tries to murder anyone: WHY WONT YOU DIE Kevin when he tries to get himself killed: HOW AM I KILLING EVERYONE BUT MYSELF

[@shrek181]

I fear the day kevin posts a video like this but with no game in the title

[@kadenzepher]

Lmao

[@noahchacon2006]

life but i speed run killing people

[@ThatGuy-ng7et]

No, just “I speed run killing people”.

[@whoknowsaymore6210]

I get every STD known to man

[@barabara9855]

"Their name is Die Young, but don't worry, they're from Germany" That sounded so bad lmao

[@SylviaRustyFae]

3:20 Its so wholesome to me that Kevin actually had another chance to fight and quickly glossed over it and here we can see he didnt. His little brother Luke came out to him and one of the options was "Assault him" but Kevin's too wholesome to even act like a bigot; so ofc he chose "Unconditionally accept him" instd :3

[@doriangrayshusband549]

My best life in BitLife was when I was born a prince, and I was great (I had 100% respect) until I became King. Then I started killing literally everyone (Even my own son). Eventually I kicked out of the royal family and I became a lowly school teacher who died from a PCP overdose

[@holls5121]

the enjoyment in lil kevins screech when one of the bitlife characters die is a sound unknown to all of mankind until now

[@IamaPERSON]

Huh, neat

[@holls5121]

There are two types of people who responded to this and I don’t know who I’m more scared of

[@IamaPERSON]

@@holls5121 the bots, they'll hack you. I won't

[@a.katyusha2667]

@@holls5121 Probably the bots,unless you enjoy being scammed/ddossed or whatever these ones do

[@colbyjackcheese4964]

Kevin:I’m gonna kill my characters as fast as possible and make terrible decisions Also Kevin: wow for some reason these guys have really rough lives

[@Mr-Green0]

12:51 (Laughs very hard) I like how he tries to buy a helicopter so he can kill himself from a crash but he doesn't have a pilot's license so he went to the aircraft training to get one and immediately dies from crashing on the training.

[@mackenziedesire7515]

Ah, the irony of Kevin trying to make a life speedrun and winding up with his most successful killer yet. He may not have killed his own characters very fast, but he certainly killed everyone else.

[@Freenickeh30]

Corny ahh

[@givs4860]

for those who don't know, MILF stands for: M - gotta I - find L - pepe F - popo

[@EternallyEden]

💀 the fucking bots LMHO

[@Nik0o]

ѕєяєηιту lol

[@INSIDEALLOFYOU]

Thank you! I've been searching all over for the true meaning and I've finally found it... the peepeepoopoo

[@givs4860]

@Stephen ebic my bad

[@cleavly6162]

Look for one each day!

[@nanaba9811]

See how the hitman was called „Joe Goldberg“? Yep, it’s a YOU reference

[@ToastedPup]

:) Cool

[@JackErica19]

Great show 😁

[@thelizzievb]

That's literally my teachers name... O.O

[@vinamrashinde8764]

Ooooooh

[@nanaba9811]

@@thelizzievb I’d watch out if I were u 👀

[@mynameberamen1779]

The pepe popo at the beginning gave me happy

[@IamaPERSON]

these bots

[@popeyespizza330]

💖💖❤️💜✨😊

[@appletunisheccincute6253]

@@IamaPERSON I know, I'm doing my best to report as many as I can. Why in the world are there so many?

[@IamaPERSON]

@@appletunisheccincute6253 idk, man.

[@DirtyGeorge]

@@appletunisheccincute6253 just Google theme

[@_SF__]

"you uppercutted your classmate callme's throat, then you clocked him in his... knobbY knEes? stOp iT" -kevin 6:15

[@Renni_Jay]

It's such a small thing and he kinda skipped but, but at 3:04 it says his character's brother is considering coming out the closet, and he skips past it prolly cause it's not relevant to the video, but he *could have* asulted him over it to get his character killed, but at 3:29 you can see he chose to support him unconventionally. I love that. It could have maybe made his challenge easier, but he didn't and supported his character's brother, while trying to beat the shit out of the other, but still. That was so small but so sweet to me ♥

[@izykyzi]

I was genuinely confused when he started with the outro

[@mullermix]

me too lmao i just started wondering "wait, have i watched this already?"

[@Gatrax]

Hey Kevin, there's a spider at 11:40 on your greenscreen. he scurries off to the left enjoy

[@HunnyBunnyBaker]

god damn you're observant

[@tarani5aviel]

Nice eyes

[@spiced_rum]

*arachnophobia intensifies*

[@LizzieNya]

Oh so that's what it was! I thought my screen was dirty

[@OfficalSlimeLich]

You’re a horrible person. He has to now live in fear

[@amirqeqe3136]

Kevin's killing it with these ace attorney references

[@tejayplant7069]

2:41 “You pounded your big brother martins throat” Oh no

[@KSmith-kp5jz]

“Our relationship is still really good even though I keep attacking her.” Yeah that’s just how it is with siblings.

[@johnwayne387]

We're still waiting for the "Bitlife controls my Sims", Kevin

[@James-yv8nk]

Dream: I’m the greatest speed runner, Kevin: Hold me feckin beer.

[@IamaPERSON]

BEGONE BOTS

[@James-yv8nk]

Why am I getting replies from bots?

[@breadthealien]

Thot bots

[@youngj4658]

@@breadthealien ahh a man of culture I see

[@tomo4977]

@@James-yv8nk *you have been chosen*

[@rae5602]

"How could I resist killing my mother?" I know. *Or don't I?*

[@IamaPERSON]

THERE'S SO MANY BOTS

[@mthu2128]

I am a PERSON an they’re all the same vid

[@IamaPERSON]

@@mthu2128 yeah! Can you help me get rid of them? Go to their about section, and click the flag icon.

[@IamaPERSON]

@@marioanothlp oh crap, I didn't know! Thanks dude!

[@SadiaNoshin]

I'm loving the Ace Attorney references Kevin's starting to put on his videos honestly

[@evanjosten207]

I like how Kevin says that it’s getting dark when he isn’t vaccinated but not when a toddler murders 3 people

[@yasssg8897]

I once slipped in the shower, and tried grabbing the water to save myself. On a side note what a lovely bitlife vid.

[@Bojacmancork]

Bot

[@LizzieNya]

Relatable...

[@axiodile4623]

"They're depressed, they have a cold, they have pneumonia, they have anxiety!" -My parents talking about me

[@g0r3ang3l5]

*Twin?? :0 The only thing I’m missing is pneumonia.*

[@calibricalypso]

Yo quadruplets lmao

[@Miex5068]

“I love and understand this video” a real human 100% satisfaction guaranteed

[@barnious9626]

Can you do episode on The app Ai dungeon? It’s an incredibly smart Ai that procedurally generates a story based off your responses and actions. I would love to see the mind of Kevin trapped in mind of Kevin doing Kevinly things.

[@marsmaximoff_]

kevin is such a down to earth friendly guy who is just doing his best and never fails to make people smile and laugh a true force of good we should all aspire to be more like kevin. love you kevin

[@earendilthemariner5546]

I wont lie. The intro got me

[@anniedangerface]

Same, I'm easily confused anyway so I really felt like I was having a stroke

[@magnetsonfridges]

Neutral Default Username Me: “did I already watch this one minute ago....😃....wait.”

[@micahfrenette8693]

Same

[@kerollaynemoreira7536]

It got me too I was like did I click the middle of the video accidentally agAIN?

[@anniedangerface]

Kerollayne Moreira all right i'm glad to see i'm not alone lol

[@thephantomsarchive]

"Oh hey, my depession is gone. So is my anxiety" I wish it was that easy.

[@Engardian]

AHHHHHH THIS WAS MY IDEA! I’M SO HAPPY!!! I SUGGESTED THIS TO HIM ON TWITTER WHEN HE ASKED FOR IDEAS!!!

[@kingcommon2984]

"Let me commit some crime to get money for the witch doctor" I never knew such a strange sentence could be said

[@michaelpopup]

"I love and understand this video" - A real person 100% satisfaction guaranteed

[@Aquaticdragon]

"I've got diarrhea that's a sign of good things to come" -Kevin

[@Kaitkstokes]

That intro fooled me hard.... I had to check

[@IamaPERSON]

These BOTS

[@lalithnarayan1892]

@@IamaPERSON send them to Our Dear Leader's basement

[@IamaPERSON]

@@lalithnarayan1892 no, that's too merciful for them.

[@lalithnarayan1892]

@@IamaPERSON true

[@lalithnarayan1892]

Send them to mine

[@chxrbo]

"knobby knees" is an amazing way to describe Kevin as a person ♥️

[@yourfriendlyneighborhood3991]

Of all the CallMeKevin characters I’d want on my Dodgeball team, I’d say I’d want Die Young... except for the fact she’d probably just kill all her teammates, so probably not.

[@ModernMedusa]

"My depression was cured. So was my anxiety! I've had that since I was like 4!" Dude, same. Joining dance classes asap

[@Screeech]

That “oof” was 100% fan service you can’t convince me otherwise

[@colbyjackcheese4964]

If Kevin wants a challenge he should try being a good person I don’t think he could do it

[@Imperial_Slug]

Don’t know if Kevin always did this but I love how he has a green screen but doesn’t use it but just puts his cam in a box.

[@argelion2793]

He uses it he just doesn't do it on the normal face cam sometimes when he zooms in on his face he has a background

[@RealAntViti]

When I used to play this game, I was there in-game. My parents asked me if I wanted a dog, I said no, then my sister killed me. Accidental death at age 3

[@nauticalchair1536]

bitlife idea: "bitlife, but i actally have a good life" so the premis is you actually try not to mess things up, actually be a good person, and abide by the law.

[@saba.kamikaze]

Doc with bad review does killer surgery Kevin: YESS Doc! You're the best!

[@Miss_Distress]

Hope he gave him a good Yelp review

[@finleygale]

Alternative title: "I play bitlife as I usually do"

[@raven_the_demon]

Or: "I play Bitlife". That's enough information for us

[@IamaPERSON]

@@raven_the_demon ikr. Also, can you help deal with the bots

[@coemcoem7070]

They actually Liv longer than that surprisingly

[@Asparagus_stars]

Kevin: Bitlife but I speed run kill all my people Jim Pickens: Speed run kill people

[@TomboyCEO]

Kevin actually got me with the outro at the beginning, I thought it was a video I’ve already watched before.

[@shadeparker5922]

10:42 Did...did Kevin just do the baby equivalent of a Kinder Surprise?

[@noone5796]

I think it’s first time when I see a public defender in bitlife actually helping

[@harkiratgolar1879]

Kevin: Posts video on BitLife Me: This is where the fun begins

[@ChonkedCat]

Amanda - Porn STARS ღ*GO MY PROF!LE* ღ stfu

[@IamaPERSON]

@@ChonkedCat they really should. I can't believe how many pron bots there are

[@SasukeUchihaOfTheSound]

Thank you kevin, for solving overcrowding here in germany. Einfach ein ehrenmann

[@brettknepper974]

1:59 a nice little Walk This Way reference

[@BamBabyBrenda]

"Why did your parents divorce?" "I stuck an almond up my nose and my mom spent 34 minutes trying to get it out. She gave up and left"

[@sobriquet9906]

I was so shook when I heard the outro music in the beginning because thats how hard Kevin has brainwashed me. Thanks Kevin.

[@AzharaSophie]

About 20 deaths in: “this is getting dark”

[@BigSpazzard]

Kevin my (now ex) girlfriend cheated on me and I found out today and I wanted to thank you for being the only person who's managed to make me laugh and smile as I've been a pretty depressed little fecker, so thank you and I love you and your content, keep up the good work and I will support you always like how you have supported me without even knowing ❤️

[@Saix5579]

I'm watching this while drunk and just refreshesd the video ten times confused why it started with the outro like i was somehow at the end already. You win this one Kevin

[@yaboijory]

I was throughly confused when the ending started playing instantly. Well played Kev

[@yee5074]

Day one of telling kevin to make pepe Popo in tomogachi life (when he gets the file back)

[@rainbowmelodie9309]

Please kevin we need pepe Popo

[@anniedangerface]

i support thus

[@bag_of_sh1t744]

OMG YES

[@Rixxalight]

wait he lost the file is he doing more do you think?

[@bag_of_sh1t744]

Rixxalight damn you’re right

[@who_is_green1820]

Die Young used Heimlich it was super effective!

[@who_is_green1820]

Wtf is up with these bots?

[@lalithnarayan1892]

@@who_is_green1820 every comment is plauged by them

[@_MC529]

Love that Simpsons reference at 0:37 😄 Greetings from Germany 🇩🇪 👋🏻

[@booletric]

Lol that’s what I was thinking!! 😂

[@MorethanMatter]

Kevin! I found your channel one year ago and I have not been able to stop watching since! You’ve become part of my routine. We love you, keep doing you!

[@staticshorty6739]

For some reason, I missed this video until now. But I am so glad Kevin played bitlife the way I played bitlife. I found out that targeting the throat was a good way to instant kill any character in the game. And so, I ended up going through a playthrough where my character spent their life in prison, killing all the other inmates. This really shouldn't be a thing, but I'm glad it is cuz it's ridiculous. I love how crazy things can get in this game.

[@Reminiscent_iii]

0:13 everywhere i go, i see his face 😔

[@lilywhite3569]

Isn’t biting someone’s tooth technically just violently kissing

[@MkTheMonkieKidLMK]

*kisses u viooently so hard you teeth fall out/j*

[@pedrostormrage]

6:08 "Your classmate CallMe Kevin" This gives a new meaning to "you are your worst enemy" 8:34 "Now that's an exotic name: Istodie" Is it European? :P

[@kookasaurous3336]

This is by far a favorite Bitlife playthrough of yours, Kevin

[@pepepopo2420]

GREEN WHITE ITS ME

[@callkat]

Finally my name comes up in a CallMeKevin video and he doesn't even say it out loud 8:40

[@whywefever156]

The intro brought me more confusion than any math class ever could

[@emperorpenguin6420]

You know at this point I'm starting to think that kevins bitlife characters are his past lives and he is just reliving them in the game.

[@charlottemartyr]

“Why aren’t the parent intervening!?!” Reminds me of a story my grandma used to tell about how my dad learned to sit dead center of his playpen as a baby bc his older sisters couldn’t reach to slap him from there. She also wasn’t big on intervention either lol

[@fosunchuuk4511]

Props to ya, Kev! That intro was SO SURREAL!!! I clicked off the color wheel video onto this one & he used the exact same inflection & everything! What a trip!! xD

[@BigMac87963]

Jacksepticeye spent several videos with one character, and Kevin spent one video killing several characters

[@TurbidTG1]

I hope Kevin will play Beverly Hills Cop, Second Sight, and Psi-Ops: The Mindgate Conspiracy that I sent in last year sometime! P.S. BitLife has a royalty expansion now too btw.

[@bigtoaster4619]

He’s on android so he’ll be able to play the royalty expansion in about 6 months

[@USSCYT]

@@bigtoaster4619 I remember waiting so long for bit life to come out on android after someone showed me it oniPhone. .

[@TheValyGaming]

The outro first literally made me crylaugh

[@kotabear1568]

I'd love to see a stream of speedrunning lives like this, it would be absolutely hilarious

[@Raerusk]

When the video started I was so confused. I started questioning whether or not I had seen it already even though it's literally the latest bitlife. Great video as always Kevin!