Bitlife but I am addicted to everything

Bitlife but I become addicted to everything, except among us. I do not have a problem.
Second channel: • Co-Op Untitled Goose G...
Twitch: / callmekevin
Twitter: / callmekevin1811
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Edited by @Kippesoep001, @TropicalFreeze2 and Kevin
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[@jamieisfierce]

"It's not you, it's the asthma" Girls only want one thing and it's *lungs*

[@Carla-wk3mz]

As a girl I can confirm we're going to steal your lungs and sell them on the black market

[@CatMuto]

You can't underestimate the allure of functioning lungs~

[@justrcd]

Smh we all know the only thing they want is both your kidneys

[@eddiecowen2624]

It's f*cking disgusting

[@callmeturg]

@@Carla-wk3mz as a man with bad lungs due to secondhand smoke, take them

[@EMS12000]

"You and a monk locked a priest into a bathroom at a local movie theater" Why I'm not surprised by this absurdity?

[@patricks_music]

Sounds like the setup of a bad joke lol

[@justanamericandoggo6725]

I surprisingly wasn't surprised either.

[@lesigh3410]

I laughed so hard when that happened, it was so out of the blue.

[@legatelanius9762]

@@patricks_music a monk, an addict, and a priest walk into a movie theater...

[@Mr-Green0]

Ok, I have a lot of questions.

[@xerneis743]

10:12 "Rumors that you have a human skull in your head." HOW DARE SHE

[@treefrogg]

I thought it said that too, and I was like No way, really?

[@Helixtronline]

it actually said desk, not head.

[@xerneis743]

but Kev said head

[@Helixtronline]

@@xerneis743 I suppose.

[@doofass6356]

@@Helixtronline it a joke

[@ahobbit1273]

“You and a monk locked a priest into a bathroom at a local movie theatre.” I would absolutely watch a movie about a delinquent and their monk accomplice committing minor inconveniences.

[@doofass6356]

Yeah

[@unus-annus]

Yeah

[@Mr-Green0]

Sounds like a SNL skit.

[@bearnuggs]

lock enough priests in enough bathrooms, the kids can make their escape

[@Vicioussnakeboy]

​@@Mr-Green0 Sounds like an event that would be mentioned in College Humor videos

[@mrbarrydagangsta156]

New crossover: KeVans. The shoe, that makes questionable content!

[@callmeturg]

Sounds amazing!

[@Rain-hg2jk]

KeVans: The shoe that starts a cult!

[@NorthernGreenEyes]

Ooohhh I want a pair of bright blinding white KeVans!

[@UtopssAKAPJ]

oh the VANity 😆🤣

[@callmeturg]

Congrats on the heart!!

[@oliverhughes610]

That faint 'spit in his mouth' during the one date later slide got me

[@pinkpufferfish7007]

My future date, in tears: why are you breaking up with me?? what did I do?? Me: it’s not you, it’s the asthma

[@Andrea-on5ry]

bigggest turnoff🤮😒

[@daviddoesthings8931]

Your future date: I’m not real.

[@767KirbyLord]

*sad asthma noises*

[@jakeperalta1691]

@@767KirbyLord Soooo they're hyperventilating then?

[@justanamericandoggo6725]

uh oh

[@gnackered]

Kevin: gets addicted to everything under the sun Game: You died of overdose Kevin: WAT

[@marshidden4352]

Wow, Kevin’s really starting to reform! He hasn’t put “brutal”, “kill”, or “torture” in the title!

[@edhemsehovic6145]

He's surely going through some serious rehabilitation... I just want old Kevin back 😔

[@deadaccount505]

Oh my god, it’s a miracle

[@mrstrealyogurl]

I don't know if this is a good change he's starting to talk about addiction much more than murder

[@whomidity3953]

Thank goodness.

[@pulp6588]

Now it’s addiction!

[@izlet627]

“that’s a much better addiction- the party life” LMAO

[@UtopssAKAPJ]

😆🤣 was so funny i was going to comment the same thing

[@Monster-od4gi]

until the party is in a strip club

[@NorthernGreenEyes]

@@Monster-od4gi or until you're working at one.. 👯

[@izlet627]

omfg he hearted my comment ahahahah i’m so happy💞

[@d_the_great]

LMFAO* haha get it Or am I just that old?

[@callaschiefelbein3825]

“Time is the greatest hit man of all” I’m stealing that.

[@Emil_Stoltz]

Agent 47: "You know that man time? Damn good hitman!"

[@user-rr1vk5lv6t]

I've never seen "Among Us" spelled as "everything" before.

[@kaylynnl6800]

Ffs😂😂

[@LizzieNya]

That's just his state of denial

[@erikboydston4476]

THIS COMMENT WINS

[@huebuckle8198]

Jim Slip-in sneakers

[@ringle7000]

I saw this comment about 5 minutes ago without a heart. Thought it was only a matter of time before you got one. Boy I was right.

[@pluto9822]

“i’m gonna invest this straight into myself” ooh kinky

[@ashikjaman1940]

Kevin is a Yakuza character confirmed

[@Emil_Stoltz]

@@ashikjaman1940 Sonotōrida.

[@jeaddhist]

And I miss talking about life and other stuff

[@retrolush3200]

@@jeaddhist vErY sPeCiFic

[@jeaddhist]

@@retrolush3200 Shut up! I like my parents

[@hayatobun]

5:16 the little "spit in his mouth!"

[@saintazepam]

large man: has a heart attack Everything Addict: I pretend I do not see it

[@jimpickensisourwayoflife2126]

"Extremely large man having a heart attack" Kevin just walks away Well it wasn't Hagrid so he left😆😆

[@calebmurie3051]

It wasnt ps2 hagrid, so who cared

[@KubeKubeKubeKubeKube]

I love the very subtle “spit in his mouth” during the One Date Later transition card

[@turumbar427]

1:56 "Probed her nasal passage" So basically you picked her nose

[@rautamiekka]

Yeah, that was the weird thing about that scene: he as a 6yo tried to uppercut a teacher in the groin, yet somehow probed the nose ????

[@DaniAlchemilla]

@@rautamiekka yeah, he really missed the target there haha😆

[@Mr-Green0]

I think he did more than picking her nose.

[@mralt5419]

ow... didn't expect that g note

[@redemptionowl3425]

fax

[@JhenMaster]

Funny how he went to the casino constantly but never got properly addicted, but in other goes he can get an addiction with one trip. XD

[@johnlane8053]

If you're addicted to everything, then you're addicted to nothing! And that's healthy.

[@bamtastick9141]

Well your not wrong that’s it you’re not wrong

[@sidhackney8831]

It's like shooting the moon in Hearts, once you get addicted to one thing it's best to get addicted to everything else

[@himynameismaryyy]

69th like

[@krisshaw9464]

Um what

[@CaseyRVids]

Kevin: I wanna live in Vegas Me: *Shakes head* No you don’t.

[@anticommunist3415]

Whats wrong with vegas?

[@bu11seyeboy28]

Me: you want to the country JIM PICKENS

[@AdrianaReyes-io5zf]

@@anticommunist3415 Lots of crime, loud af, can be dirty. It’s super fun and great for visiting but not really a great place to Live. I was born and grew up there for a few years lol

[@justanamericandoggo6725]

*cries in stupid boring state*

[@autumnalburn]

I once had a nurse who grew up there. He said that he would beat up drunk tourists and steal their casino earnings.

[@De_Jimberto]

"Now that's a lot of damage" *Flex tape flashback intensifies*😂😂😂

[@pinkpufferfish7007]

What I took away from this video is that if you’re depressed, turn to shoplifting

[@hdhshdhs5503]

Five finger discount rush!

[@shesustho2880]

I'm gonna write that down-

[@youngsoilder8145]

"lick her ear, that'll show her" -taken out of context

[@nommerz5465]

3:22 I CANNOT believe kevin just g-noted us

[@KotaTheGreatest]

"Graduate highschool depressed" "please love me someone!" I have never related to something more in my life

[@mitchelcaballero8560]

Clawing a classmate -> Parents divorce. It just be like that sometimes

[@megandecruz6834]

10:20 starts a rumor about "having a skull in my head" xD well done kevans

[@ManicMama.]

"You can't get addicted to anything if you have no money" well that never stopped me unfortunately. And i actually have been addicted to damn near everything lol

[@TailsIsDisappointed]

There's one addiction that Bitlife can never recreate for Kevin... _Among Us._

[@IamaPERSON]

*DUN DUN DUN*

[@justanamericandoggo6725]

*DUN DUN DUN*

[@lolaishotasf]

*DUN DUN DUN*

[@saulgoodmanadventures]

DUN DUN DUN

[@thejohnhopkinscompany9599]

Kevin: Loads up a game he has never played before Kevin 0.6 seconds later: 4:05

[@callmeturg]

Kevin saying Kevans by accident is such a Kevin thing to do

[@marshidden4352]

His brain just instinctively makes dad puns whenever possible.

[@mrstrealyogurl]

Hello Turg :D

[@officialblimp]

such a *kevan* thing to do

[@callmeturg]

@@marshidden4352Dad jokes are a must

[@callmeturg]

@@officialblimp Kevan

[@oceantrash7230]

The fact that Kevin doesn't know how to pronounce oxycodone is kind of wholesome

[@vierots]

"you were minted by a goat during yoga" (wipes tear) *unus...*

[@SmallCactus22]

Annus😔

[@TheAmaranthFlower]

To say that I love Kevin's BitLife videos would be an understatement. My entire family except me has covid and I have to stay at a hotel alone. Seeing this video genuinely made my entire week.

[@janavanbellingen8531]

Hey, how are you doing 2 years later?

[@Olivia-ek9ib]

Kevin’s tired of us making fun of his Among Us addiction, so he decided to self-project on his BitLife characters.

[@JustSamPlays]

I love how two piano keys immediately wakes my inner emo

[@WILL_DPW]

it's like a skeleton waiting to break free from flesh. Y'know?

[@kira-lilym6363]

"graduated from high school absolutely depressed" ok i just came out for a good time and i honestly feel so attacked right now

[@smugbowkid9919]

Dude the neighbor saw his life and was like “Bro I can’t do much but I can provide you with a temporary escape from your problems.” 10/10 best neighbor.

[@metalslum]

“I enjoyed that way more than the shaft!” Um, alright Kevin very cool

[@Coolcookiez]

He’s really embracing his addiction to things. The creativity this gorgeous man has is unbelievable 🤯

[@samthelion3925]

"Your current life has been saved" Thank goodness. Without you, who would I watch play Big Brother the Game? No one.

[@eleanorneath530]

Kevin: **pings headphones off his head** Kevin's Smarts Bar on Bitlife: THAT'S A LOT OF DAMAGE

[@ope_amine]

"Graduates from high school absolutely depressed" Hmm...checks out

[@rautamiekka]

"Oxycodone is an opioid medication used for treatment of moderate to severe pain, and a common drug of abuse." Well, sounds about perfect for this playthrough LOL.

[@NyxInfernal]

"Father time is the greatest hitman of all!" Best quote I've ever heard.

[@hollyleafwell2118]

2:54 catch me thinking I needed my glasses while wearing my glasses 🤧

[@pedrostormrage]

4:29 "I feel much more robust after getting mounted by a goat during yoga class" I wish I could link to the Unus Annus "Goat Yoga" video, but they're already gone :(

[@aussieopal852]

It's not you, it's the asthma. Me sitting here with very bad asthma, thinking - "Oh shit what does that mean for my future."

[@kentertainment9426]

Kevin reading his past Bitlifes like his Patreon supporters.

[@AlmiNia]

i feckin love Kevin's Bitlife playthroughs

[@toshidokii]

day 28 of telling kevin that he’s amazing and we love him ✨❤️

[@IamaPERSON]

:)

[@breezypoiised5586]

Shut up

[@IamaPERSON]

@@breezypoiised5586 yes you should.

[@Arthurmadhal]

I would love to see your sad ass life

[@YoutuberGrudge]

He needs to know we love him everyday~

[@ericshaun343]

5:15 *If you listen closely you can hear a ghost telling you to "spit in his mouth"*

[@charliefinnmichael4770]

Its just a kinky ghost

[@charliep123]

10:13 "your co-worker started a rumor that there's human skull in your head" I hope there is Jesus what else would be in your head.

[@bigchonkerraccoon5046]

“My father argues with me about being suspended from school.” “I REPREHEND HIM”. “Your parents divorce”

[@yikes7751]

1:57 "Then you probed her nasal passage" *wait* *WHAT*

[@thatplane3865]

What Kevin thinks he's addicted to: Everything What he's actually addicted to: *Among Us*

[@aethela8712]

But to Kevin, Among Us is everything 😔

[@thatplane3865]

@@aethela8712 true 🥺

[@uberyoutube4874]

Kevin: “yay graduated highschool, completely depressed” Me: same

[@Holmsteinina]

kevin: "your coworker started a rumour that you have a human skull in your head" ...well i sure hope he does

[@valhalla1469]

You ever feel like your life is that of a bitlife character being controlled by Kevin?

[@NorthernGreenEyes]

I would've felt very called out if past me was watching this 😬

[@DaniAlchemilla]

Yes.

[@IamaPERSON]

I do

[@ValentineC137]

Impossible, Kevin’s bitlife characters do way more in a year than I do

[@Emil_Stoltz]

@@ValentineC137 Kevin's bitlife character: *literally does one thing in a whole year* Me: "Damn, he's good at what he does!"

[@craaig9118]

"it's not you, it's the asthma" Me: "ah so that's the reason. All these years I thought it was my annoying personality"

[@ryanabulencia6106]

This is truly the one channel on KZbin that can make me laugh the hardest consistently at whatever he plays. Also the Irish accent is a big plus too can't forget the accent.

[@zappawench6048]

"That's so sad, I can't afford to kill my own mother!" - that's such a Kevin thing to say!

[@LizzieNya]

"Is not you, it's the asthma" Sounds like all the boys I liked back in high school and never dated me

[@rebound1340]

F

[@crylune]

good, don't reproduce, we don't need more CO2 producers on this Earth

[@nargishun6549]

1:51 Ah, My favorite way to abuse someone.

[@funnyhowthingsturnout6186]

Those headphones should make a call me Kevin version, and it should include “extra pain”

[@nrein89]

*10:25* Jim Pickens and Turg are in competing law firms? That would make a great movie!

[@bri5033]

I thought the thumbnail said "you are in jail and addicted to turgs" when I first saw it... then I looked at it again and thought it said "you are addicted to jail and are in drugs" I can also hear an exact replica of the skyrim background music even though I'm not playing skyrim. I should probably sleep

[@Emil_Stoltz]

Nah, man. I think you're the one who's high.

[@spideraba769]

TBF, who isn't addicted to Turg?

[@Brigadier88]

5:16 the faint "Spit in his mouth" killed me 😂😂😂😂😂

[@thenaturallyinsane1]

15:40 Kevin reads his Patreon backers

[@JohnDoe-qy5eu]

We maybe watching him play bitlife but Kevin is life.

[@shailaes]

finally he’s not addicted to among us today *oh wait*

[@hulksmash3429]

Is Among Us in Bitlife?

[@shailaes]

@@hulksmash3429 no i was just referencing to his ongoing among us addiction :)

[@hulksmash3429]

@@shailaes Yeah I know but I was joking about how around every corner there is the inescapable Among Us addiction

[@hulksmash3429]

@@PartyhatRS Your gonna burst into flames next time you walk into a church after saying that

[@Hardhatharpy]

" I wanna live in vegas" me too buddy

[@johndenver8434]

3:06 *For replay purposes*

[@lucisomma6766]

Kevaans... My fat went so bouncy from laughiung that that my fat fell of and I cried blood. My face was simular to this D:

[@abydos5039]

that was the most cultured reference I've ever seen. unusual

[@lucisomma6766]

@@abydos5039 thanks, I guess

[@morgantreece8275]

Hey Kevin, I’ve been watching your content just about every day for 3 years now. You’ve helped me get through a lot and I hope you know we all appreciate you very much.

[@becake1914]

I just wanted to say thank you to Kevin for a sec, you and your videos have really helped me with my mental health and you’re easily my favourite KZbinr off all time, thanks for making such great hilarious content!

[@wessmoore7894]

1:51 I ended up in a Turkish prison in Bitlife as a 20-something and and I just went around doing this move to all of the other inmates. This went on until my guy was 50-something and he died of illness. So many one-hit kills.

[@hart6361]

Should've put a G note warning. My life passed before my eyes.

[@WILL_DPW]

I did not consent to him waking the G spot.

[@Dean_W1nchester.]

I stopped my daily crying to watch this.

[@witchking01]

I love the bitlife videos so much, I’ve watched each one at least twice by now THANK YOU FOR A NEW ONE

[@smashingtulips]

i was watching kevin's bitlife videos before i went into work. now that i'm out, a new video is up. i have been blessed on this day 💕

[@X8xPhoenixx8X]

Dad joke of the day..... To prove he was right the "flat earther" walk to the end of the earth .... He eventually came around....

[@IamaPERSON]

One time, my dad dug a hole for me to get into. Why, you ask? Because I was grounded.

[@abby5495]

All I’m addicted to is watching this wholesome man play video games

[@micahphilson]

"Father Time is the greatest hitman of all!" That's probably the most incredible Kevin quote ever!

[@billnathanael8357]

Love the videos, they always make my day better. Thank you Kevin, all hail the Dear Leader.

[@SuperLovelessgirl]

"Spit in his mouth!" -Kevin 2020 🤣🤣

[@callmeturg]

Day 32 of telling Kevans that he is tall, dark, and handsome 💜

[@chair6577]

Hi turg!

[@IamaPERSON]

Hello friend, how's it going?

[@noahregnhammare]

Hey again

[@hannah27117]

Hey there friend, how’s it going? My name is Hannah Elizabeth and today we’re going to ,,, say hi to you because you ignore all of my messages that aren’t hi 😂 Just wanted to spice it up a little. Have a great day!

[@sugamama4036]

Hiii turg. Nice to see u again 😊

[@zoewendigo9908]

I literally come home from work every day and the first thing I do is watch your videos, it doesn’t matter how bad my day is or what game you play you manage to brighten up my day every time. Thank you Kevin.

[@GraySkill]

Good job man! I'm enjoying all the bitlife videos their pretty cool.

[@lisakelly2640]

This is an average day for Kevin

[@paweleee3183]

Bitlife is planning on adding a mafia update Kevin: 👁👄👁

[@austinbeattie2694]

Monk locks Priest in bathroom: "HOLY WAR"

[@XxLuvroseXx]

I can’t get enough of when Kevin plays BitLife. Soon there’s gonna be a mob update and I bet Kevin will love that 😂

[@exoticinfinityy897]

Kevin looks like he's in his element. Weird

[@zachary7508]

9:40 IS THAT THE BITE OF 87

[@mat1ss347]

8:20 I’m dying 🤣 “ he just wants the attention “😂

[@FujiMast3R_2]

Kevin’s just like he’s over exaggerating 😂

[@jorgegmk2848]

Your professor questions your heart. What do you do? A normal person: Kevin: SPIT IN HIS MOUTH

[@edaknkl3064]

Actually, if you attend the funerals and make their last wish come true you get more money from them...