Black gay guy hates being single, here’s why?

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Күн бұрын

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@mscibae Ай бұрын

I always viewed being an introvert as someone who is more at peace in their own company, and doesn’t necessarily need the validation of other people’s company to have fun or be at peace….what yall were describing sounds like someone who may be depressed lol.

@Vinetailch Ай бұрын

Social anxiety definitely plays a role with my introversion 😅

@dearblackgaymen Ай бұрын

Now that I’m watching the conversation back, you may have a point here. I view introverted as someone, like me, who gets energized from being alone.

@dearblackgaymen Ай бұрын

Thank you for sharing this.

@AC-ss5oy Ай бұрын

'need the validation of other people' is a weird statement to make. it's not like extroverts "validate" themselves on other people's company. they just feed on it. i feel like the word "validation" is overused and misused in these spaces .

@xamaniiiii Ай бұрын

The reason I believe people would watch certain shows or movies with “regular” looking gay representation, is because it’s gay representation! That’s what we all long for and would support it to feel seen.

@dearblackgaymen Ай бұрын

I agree that it’s needed. You really think people are longing for it in the age of filters and fitness influencers?

@xamaniiiii Ай бұрын

@ yes I do. Because everyone doesn’t have the fit bodies, and the perfect face-tuned faces. I feel we need a sense of security knowing that there are people resembling us on the big screen! But the entertainment business, I feel, will never see it as a normal human being. They’re always going to put what they think is “perfect”, or “right” for tv.

@ThisIntrovertLife Ай бұрын

I’m an introvert and it takes time for me to open up to ppl, so dating multiple people isn’t on the top of my to do list. But give me one person I’m comfortable with, I love dating.

@dearblackgaymen Ай бұрын

If it takes you a while to open up, what does it mean to be “comfortable” with someone?

@g6mogulthepeoplesmogul Ай бұрын

40:27 😂😂😂WELL DAMN !! it’s harder we gotta say that out loud. I’m gonna keep that thought to myself.

@dearblackgaymen Ай бұрын

The genuinely disinterested took me out. Did it hit you like it hit me?

@juxtaposebeauty247 Ай бұрын

Hi 👋🏽 heterosexual black woman here.. I'm just here to see how the patriarchy ruins everything for everybody. In reference to the sex scene and body types, i find it interesting that the male gaze requires hypersexualized perfection no matter what sex/gender it is focused on. Great show! Love u Jai 😘

@GregoryChandler-bc5tm Ай бұрын

Ok, this is something that I find weird.People say they hate dating, but then when they get with someone they say " you always wanna be at home, we never go out on dates or anything ".

@dearblackgaymen Ай бұрын

They always want to be at home BECAUSE they hate dating. Those thoughts seem pretty complimentary to me.

@can_you_guess_my_new_username Ай бұрын

Im an introvert to the extreme. I normally date extroverts. Not sure if i can date someone as quiet as me. At my age, id probably have to date someone i already know. I dont have the energy to tear off someone elses masks just to find the authentic person. Namaste!

@dearblackgaymen Ай бұрын

If you’re extremely introverted, that means he’d have to approach you, right?

@can_you_guess_my_new_username Ай бұрын

@dearblackgaymen ALWAYS!!!!!

@dearblackgaymen Ай бұрын

And you’re single?

@can_you_guess_my_new_username Ай бұрын

@dearblackgaymen that's a very tricky question for this introvert man. Lol... I hope it's ok if I do not compartmentalize my thoughts before writing this. I observe people that express interest in me before expressing interest back. Im very cautious because I've learned that a lot of people have masks. Im not looking for perfection, but I want to know if my good, bad, insane and sane side is compatible with someone elses good, bad, insane and sane side as well. Authenticity is most important but uncovering that takes time, especially when a lot of people are pretentious. I have an inbox full of suitors that I'm just observing, but only one person knows I may be interested back. We are not dating, and we both are single. So, yes, I am single until I have an adult conversation with another man to move forward. Also, I do not go on dates until that conversation. I prefer to expend my energy with one person and not going on multiple dates. They can be draining for an introvert. The challenge is getting us to open up, no pun intended.... but that won't happen by dating. Introverts can be mysterious. Personally, I'm extroverted with my partner in private but not public. Letting someone that close is no easy task for us. We find safety within ourselves, and trusting that safety with another person can be challenging. Another issue may be my communication. I prefer written communication over oral communication. Im very slow to speak and quick to listen. Thus, I'm single by choice at the moment. Bro thank you so much for your interaction and conversations. Keep doing what you are doing because you are effective at it. Thank you and you can ask me anything you want. InfinitePeace&Blessings.

@Rarepanthrr Ай бұрын

I’m going to open a gay retirement home cuz baby, there will be a lot of lonely old gays in the future.

@dearblackgaymen Ай бұрын

Reserve me a deluxe suite please

@KaiDecadence Ай бұрын

"I don't understand side position" Simple. Some of us gay men just don't want to engage in anal sex. Why? Because it's uncomfortable and/or painful and why would someone want to engage in something that they don't enjoy because of those things? How is that hard to understand? I'm not saying that a guy who actually enjoys being penetrated or penetrating have to go without it but all I'm saying is that it's not hard to understand why us sides simply don't want to engage in that and would rather focus on other ways to have intimate fun because it can be done. "Side" and "gay" are incomparable, "side" is not a sexual orientation, it's simply just sexual position role like "top", "bottom", and "verse" within homosexuality. Again, not complicated at all. And to catapult on what he said about his issue with where he tends to be attracted to bottoms, as I can relate to that problem as well, I'm pretty sure he just meant that when you hit up a guy who turns out to be a bottom when you yourself is a side, there's a sneaking suspicion that it may not work because the bottom more than likely will want to be penetrated and so to the bottom, meeting up with a side may seem like a waste of time because he won't be getting penetrated physically. That's why the best bet for a side who hits up a guy who turns out to be a bottom is meeting a bottom who doesn't mind having toys used on him though the question would be if a bottom would be okay with that for a LTR and that where it can become a complication.

@Random_Identity Ай бұрын

To me, people who say they “don’t understand sides” feel slighted because their pool of potential partners is further limited. It almost feels the same as a straight person saying someone is a “waste of a man/woman” because they are gay/lesbian/queer/etc.

@KaiDecadence Ай бұрын

@@Random_Identity True but that feeling can also be applied to us sides because our pool is even smaller than the gays who like and want to have anal sex so if anything, the ones of the latter are in a much better spot lol.

@Blackcubin1 Ай бұрын

Alex definitely got naked on Noah’s Arc when he was riding Trey. But I get your point. Mostly muscular bodies are pushed down our throats.

@percybrown8617 Ай бұрын

What is a "side" ? This term is something new to me !

@dearblackgaymen Ай бұрын

Someone who prefers intimacy without penetration.

@percybrown8617 Ай бұрын

O, I see!

@yasinradee Ай бұрын

@dearblackgaymen what's the opposite?

@LuckyOuijaBoy17 Ай бұрын

I think something nobody really brought up about being introverted is the focus and intention it takes to protect our own space. Im burnt out on men and really enjoy being alone RN. It already takes so much a gay mixed race black man. You gon have to come correct the first time 😂

@bcusaaus4749 Ай бұрын

I'm totally ok with me and my partner being sides 90% of the time.

@dearblackgaymen Ай бұрын

Maybe I’m old school but how much side-ing is there to be doing it 90% of the time?

@bcusaaus4749 Ай бұрын

@@dearblackgaymen we enjoy each others body without having to insert; it works for us😀

@exboyjr Ай бұрын

@@dearblackgaymen😂 facts!

@g6mogulthepeoplesmogul Ай бұрын

23:42 a power side !?! 😮

@dearblackgaymen Ай бұрын

That’s exactly what he said…blew my hair back just a little bit

@g6mogulthepeoplesmogul Ай бұрын

@ 😂😂😂😂 i had to grab my pearls

@Jeremiology Ай бұрын

I need me a John.

@dearblackgaymen Ай бұрын

I think we all need a John

@misterwrite1038 Ай бұрын

9:32 If a trans man asked you not to refer to them as girl would you still give them same response?

@dearblackgaymen Ай бұрын

Am I close to the trans man or is this casual conversation with an acquaintance or stranger?

@blatinomermann Ай бұрын

Jon's belly hair 😍🥵🧡🤞🏾

@dearblackgaymen Ай бұрын

Oh, so you like an otter?

@AC-ss5oy Ай бұрын

I feel liike these guys are probably creating their own problems due to self limiting behaviors they have acquired through identity navel-gazing. if your personal definition of being an "introvert" is someone who is indifferent about social interactions, then you are always going to have problems dating because dating necessitates that you both care and pour into the relationship by interacting, communicating, giving more of yourself and relinquishing the alone time.

@waltersmith3267 Ай бұрын

What exactly is a side

@dearblackgaymen Ай бұрын

A guy that prefers sexual interaction without penetration.

@waltersmith3267 Ай бұрын

@ that’s for that info, and Thank You for your channel.

@allenmaa7064 Ай бұрын

I’m curious about being “termed-out”. What do we think liberation would look like? You can’t be termed out about Nature, neither crawling on the ground or expanding into space - it is a never ending multiplying universe. I think human nature is as expansive. What’s the problem? That we are going to have to spend most of our time asking how to address each other and learning about what being human is like for this unique individual in front of us. How have we been spending our time actually - in conflict because we refuse to acknowledge the dignity of people. I guess we should make sure that we fill our lives with marketing and advertising though, because that’s what we are here for. Give me more pronouns like popcorn chicken and more sex positions than there are blades of grass.

@josephblackwell2820 Ай бұрын

Im an introvert

@user-yj2em2wi2s Ай бұрын

Congratulations 🎊

@dearblackgaymen Ай бұрын

Is it hard finding dates as an introvert?

@josephblackwell2820 Ай бұрын

@dearblackgaymen not at all. Least for me. I attract extroverts 🫠

@ej13012010 Ай бұрын

That's me as well I always get men that loves the spot light and I have a social bar that depletes very quickly 😂 I can only be in a place for so long and im like well this was great but my turtle need water

@Meds1000MD Ай бұрын

I'm outside

@kevikev2.0 Ай бұрын

👏🏾🏳‍🌈👏🏾🏳‍🌈👏🏾🏳‍🌈👏🏾🏳‍🌈👏🏾🏳‍🌈

@dearblackgaymen Ай бұрын

I Shays love seeing you in the comments @kevikev

@kevikev2.0 Ай бұрын

@dearblackgaymen 👍🏾👌🏾✊🏾😘

@muzimthembu453 Ай бұрын

Are you at any time planning to discuss the recent election results, and its impact on the lgbt community, especially gay black men?

@dearblackgaymen Ай бұрын

Honestly, fren, I’m still in a state of shock and disappointment, but I do believe that the conversation is needed and people are looking to us to broach the topic. It may be a special episode. Would you tune in?

@muzimthembu453 Ай бұрын

@dearblackgaymen I would absolutely tune in. Because the last administration came for women's rights. Are the rights of black and queer people next? Does and should politics play a role in our sex lives? Could you date someone who voted for Trump? I couldn't. But the man won the popular vote, so there are more gurlz who voted for him than we thought. What does this mean?