a Twilight review

[@scottshanbom]

“They glide around and can climb, kind of like Knuckles” That’s probably my favorite one-off line in the whole video

[@ZeranZeran]

with the shot of Edward climbing up a wall.. _exactly_ like knuckles That was amazing.

[@boiboi7717]

@@ZeranZeran but was he chuckling?

[@rasmustagu]

One of many haha, hard to choose just one

[@Omachronic8326]

If he hadnt have said it i would have

[@RustyNips]

Dont forgot goes fast like knuckles also

[@therealgiantsquid]

Really love that Luke committed to the divorced dad bit by watching the whole movie on his phone eating a bagel.

[@ScotiaLynn]

This has been the best comment on this video I am dying laughing

[@kwasco1440]

Never expected this in this mooseverse but I'm here for it

[@D44RK_Iced_Yogs]

Same here, super uncanny

[@dreadsleeper]

True dat

[@bigtee2000]

Same. More of this please

[@John_Locke_108]

Hell yes.

[@davidmyers-wakeman5515]

Samesville.

[@jellyjilli1004]

The whole "Edward is from 1920s he should have better social cues" could be so much better if the author used it intentionally. HE READS MINDS AND AVOIDS HUMANS of course he would suck at speaking to the only person he can't predict. The author could have made this intentional and expand the concept for comedy or not, it would at least be amusing, you know, one pinch of personality.

[@tinseltina]

like saiki k.

[@russianbot8576]

iirc in the books this is kinda what it is. it's that and age, and iirc with adults he's a lot less awkward. a few times (not often) he interacts with charlie and it goes well. tbh i don't think it's _that bad_ because if you can read thoughts and are that old, it probably would be _incredibly_ boring to engage in basic convos. i don't think meyer uses this angle, but it never seemed that weird to me. he has to be cagey, while no one is able to be cagey with him and succeed, but he's kinda seen it all by then, it must seem very petty, especially among awkward embarrassed teens who are being cagey for stupid shit. i would be over it too. but his awkwardness is linked to being unable to read bella in the books. i think alice teases him about it in front of her even. it's been years since i read it tho but i want to say this is addressed in the books.

[@briankaslewicz6130]

@@tinseltina Or Code Geass, where Mao goes insane with his uncontrolled psychic abilities and finds solace in C.C.

[@meggo2z]

bold of you to assume stephenie meyer could write anything that makes a shred of sense. i love twilight but my god is it awfully written and just… bad. lmao.

[@angelabernal4076]

Yeah....it COULD have been gud :/

[@roseghould]

"She's different because she's got no thoughts and she smells good" ...damn that hit different for some reason

[@somerandomgoblin2583]

Tbh I felt that

[@chicka-boom7540]

This is how I'm tryna be

[@kaitlyn__L]

Head empty, smell good

[@mrziiz6893]

Bella really does embody “no thoughts, head empty” doesn’t she

[@SocietyKilledTheUnicorn]

To me she seems like the quiet type that's super creative and boils off roadkill flesh to put the skeletons back together with wire. Like me 😀

[@roachdoggjr3030]

@@SocietyKilledTheUnicorn wow so quirky and unique baaabe

[@SocietyKilledTheUnicorn]

@@roachdoggjr3030 are your parents brother and sister?

[@roachdoggjr3030]

@@SocietyKilledTheUnicorn at least I know my dad lol

[@SocietyKilledTheUnicorn]

@@roachdoggjr3030 wincest

[@LaughBoys]

After that initial montage of weird breaths I already know this is the review we needed.

[@electricstrawberries-1257]

The part where she accuses him of being a vampire in the woods is so funny. That didn’t even happen in the book lol. She was just kinda like, “You’re a vampire!” And he was like, “Hahaha ya.” while driving 110 miles per hour.

[@BaronRodney]

Pffft, that's cinema comedy gold right there.

[@boraxkid1097]

I LOVE Michael Sheen's performance in these. Everyone else is trying to take the material SO seriously- while dude's going so ham he fucking makes bacon. Just LOOK at Dakota Fanning's face during some of those takes :)

[@briankaslewicz6130]

Also the guy that shouts "ARTIFICE" in the last movie. He had one line & made it count.

[@emmefarec8222]

Holy crap have you seen the bad lip reading of twilight? His dubbed lines are my absolute favorite part. "I do like a nice eyyyyg"

[@sprankton]

I never watched this movie, but I love Robert Pattinson's acting in these clips. He captured how I imagined Edward completely. In every scene, he gives off these serial killer vibes. Top notch performance.

[@elfpi55-bigB0O85]

this is because pattison himself has killed several people

[@gabrieldnchf2822]

@@elfpi55-bigB0O85 yeah he really got into character to prepare for the role

[@Phantomphan613]

@@gabrieldnchf2822 method acting at its finest

[@NotoriousLightning]

Comment reported for slander.@@elfpi55-bigB0O85

[@rosec_rose6661]

Well he was a serial killer I mean Edward he used to kill killers to feed on their blood a Dexter version of Ed would be dope if it was the focal point of this story

[@yungtown]

Your edits are like that of a YTP god.

[@squeedles_1943]

Love the stache man, ya look great 👍 Also thanks for coming on Ian's channel again. Your collabs are the best thing on youtube

[@garrettlee9511]

KZbinPlop?

[@jaxoncarter2electricboogal921]

@@garrettlee9511 KZbin Poop

[@Cman0451]

you and ian should definately do more videos like these together, they're always gold!

[@chulumpthebigmoneywizard851]

PLEASE YUNGTOWN I NEED YOUR OLD SATIRE VIDEOS I LOVED THEM SO MUCH but yeah you’re right Ian’s edits are sublime

[@davidromeroblaya7920]

I want to appreciate the fact that Ian describes his costume as a "Twilight person" and no as a vampire.

[@Silent_Lucidity]

Dracula is my favorite Twilight person.

[@beepbeepdying125]

i hope this means we get luke and ian reviewing the rest of the twilight movies in the future

[@duck_corp]

Looking forward to the Little Vampire next

[@old_account189]

Who is Luke? First time seeing him

[@beepbeepdying125]

@@old_account189 luke is a streamer and a musician ! he used to be on hiddenblock with ian a few years back

[@old_account189]

@@beepbeepdying125 Thanks i dnd't know that, but I've been watching moose for quite a while. It's a nice colab :D

[@lavishlyDecorated]

Fun fact - I've only "seen" Twilight through reviews on KZbin, and then I watched "Vampires Suck" and immediately recognized the lead actresses imitation of Kristen Stewart's mannerisms. That was hilarious.

[@flygirl6048]

You're not missing anything

[@wafflefalafel9442]

"I'm a monster, a killer, an inhuman beast" he says as he projects his beautiful rainbow sparkles everywhere.

[@ZeranZeran]

THE SKIN OF A MONSTER! _shines like finely woven diamond laced cloth from the gods_

[@MegamanXfan21xx]

I'd be surprised if there was official Twilight body glitter that didn't advertise itself as giving you the skin of a killer.

[@DisgruntledPigumon]

You’ve never met a pretty person, have you?

[@Jacob-Sophia]

@@DisgruntledPigumon I’ve never had a person of any attractiveness claim to have the skin of a killer. That would just be an incredibly strange thing to say unless you’re that one edgy weird friend that claimed to be a psychopath and murderer because they’re depressed.

[@thequeenundisputed]

As a certified Lady™ who has also read an embarrassing amount of romance books and shoujo manga in my teenage years, I'll try to answer your questions to the ladies. I definitely think there is an appeal in the danger of a character like Edward Cullen. Specifically, the biggest trend I've noticed in the romance genre, and what I think the appeal of Twilight and Edward Cullen is, is not just the danger, but specifically the ultimate desirability. Like, Edward wants Bella (the self insert blank slate of a character young girls are supposed to project themselves onto) so badly that he's a danger to himself, to her and to everyone around him, yet he cares for her so much on an emotional level that he refuses to give in to this base desire and is instead overwhelmed by this need to keep her safe. It's this push and pull that keeps romance exciting - once you know what's going to happen, once the couple gets together, once they've overcome whatever conflict the plot has contrived to keep the two love interests apart, then the story gets stale, the entire point of the genre is to keep the audience in the sexual tension and excitement of a will they won't they scenario. For Edward and Bella, he's handsome, intelligent, powerful - a desirable man by pretty much every metric, but he's obsessed with the MC (aka you if you're a teenage girl reading the books), but he can't be with her because he's a danger to them both. It's that push and pull formula, and the obstacle they have to overcome is the very nature of his being, so it has the potential for an entire series of edging teen girls indefinitely as they pine over the self insert character, thus making these shy teenage girls or lonely housewives to feel desired for a brief moment of romance novel escapism. I think pretty much every female-centric fantasy that sexualizes danger can be chalked up as a desirability fetish - it's not the danger that's actually appealing, but the idea of being desired so strongly by someone that they would do XYZ dangerous thing.

[@russianbot8576]

want to add, it's also the _fantasy_ of danger, not the danger of the male love interest but the tension of the danger adds something to it that in a story, an average romance wouldn't provide. the drama is appealing _from afar_ and the notion of feMC/reader being so special that the danger can't/won't materialise is basically the understood idea going in. could also be related to the 'i'll make him change!' fantasy too. it's just exciting, but most girls and women know it's the fantasy that makes it appealing and irl it wouldn't be fun at all. the bad boy archetype is super fun and exhilarating in a fictional safe setting. really weird that only teen girls/YA women aren't given the benefit of doubt about their ability to differentiate fantasy from reality (but ig boys are when it comes to military shooter video games literally funded as propaganda tools by the military?). in the confines of fantasy, a lot of unacceptable concepts enter romance fic, despite plenty, if not almost all, of the target audience being fully aware of the problematic aspects.

[@thequeenundisputed]

@@russianbot8576 100% agreed. There's an inherent safety in engaging in these fantasies from the comfort of your own teenage bedroom or reading nook. The comparison to war games is a great one, because I doubt most teenage boys actually desire to be in the heat of battle where a split second mistake can cost them their life, but in a fantasy, imaginary setting where they're powerful and in no real danger, you get to experience all the upsides with none of the danger - romance novels are largely the same. A bit of danger keeps things exciting in fiction, but in real life it's just terrifying. I think the real fear isn't young women and girls actually desiring the real life version of the danger they seek out in their romance fiction, but in young boys and men copying the behaviors of romance novel love interests in the hopes of appealing to women, failing to realize that the danger, ass-holery or obsessive behavior is a strictly fantasy component and not to be replicated or enjoyed in real life. I feel confident that most women, particularly the ones who enjoy a good old romance book, understand the fantasy aspect, and if presented in real life with the same behaviors they enjoy in fiction, they would be at best disturbed. Young men don't seem to relate to this aspect as much, which makes sense - it's not a genre that was built to appeal to them, so some things may be lost in translation. I think the majority of misunderstanding comes from this reading, however, rather than women actually desiring the danger they enjoy in romance fiction.

[@kaitlyn__L]

@@thequeenundisputed I remember getting really annoyed at this other girl in my year who kept saying “I wish I could find _my_ Edward”, and I kept admonishing her for fetishising stalking >_< She didn’t quite say “yeah but I just like it as a fantasy”, because she hadn’t quite put them together herself, so she was (with hindsight clearly anxiously) talking around it like “I know it’s bad but that’s what’s fun about it” and “y’know it’s just a story right??” and a few other things. I just got so hung-up on her seeming to be wishing it were real and not just a story, with the way she kept phrasing it, wishing she could find an Edward for her. That was before I learned what BDSM was and could understand the concept of acting out a scene and so on, but I’d had my Teen Feminist awakening already, so I just kept going on and on about it being problematic to her. I feel really bad about it now tbh, I hope I didn’t set her back in her own journey of discovering that “safe and exciting in fiction, awful and traumatic in reality” dynamic :/

[@thequeenundisputed]

@@kaitlyn__L To be honest, our sexualities, sexual expression and fantasies are not independent of the society we exist within, and as the society we exist within can have aspects of it that can be harmful, I think it stands to reason that our sexual fantasies can, as well. Sometimes I worry that under the desire to be inclusive and not kink shame that we don't adequately challenge our sexual interests and concern ourselves with where they come from and whether or not it's an aspect of ourselves worthy of keeping or encouraging. This is a question I grapple with a lot, so I definitely think that even though your mind has changed on things, and even though I would agree with your current day assessment of the scenario, I still think the world is a better place for having that debate. I think you offered a challenging voice that allowed your friend to examine their own views, which is always a healthy thing for people to do, and it clearly serves as a springboard for your own growth as a person given your current day reflections on it, so I wouldn't be ashamed of you so passionately expressing the views you held at the time. We need that sort of dialogue in the world to keep ourselves in check.

[@kaitlyn__L]

@@thequeenundisputed thanks, that makes sense. And I do agree, it’s very important to be self-aware of why we like something and just how harmful it’d be if real, and whether people are deliberately replicating it or not, and so on. There’s definitely things I’m aware of that I like only because of adverse experiences in my past, and I’m under no illusions about it. But I think that’s part of why I worry I might’ve set her back - I myself had to go deeper into those ideas, and the idea I had to suppress any “dangerous” fantasies, before I could come out the other side and form a properly balanced view. I had to learn the hard way that our subconsciouses “go there” whether we want to or not, and that exploring in the safe space of fiction is the safer choice. But it’s equally possible I might’ve just pushed-her toward the healthy balance without having to go through those depths, I suppose. It really all depends on how she processed and mulled-over those conversations, and the viewpoints her other friends held and directed her towards, which are ultimately unknowable for me. Anyway, yeah, I do think some folks can definitely be like “hey, asking for self-awareness and analysis is like, basically shaming” and that’s not healthy either. That’s just accepting things uncritically without even questioning where societal ideals (which always leak-in to fiction, whether directly or in opposition to them) come from in the first place. I guess a short way to say would be like… Liking problematic things is fine, but it’s still important to be aware of those factors. I doubt there’s any media which is 100% unproblematic anyway, especially as things age, aspects we might not even notice today might stand-out as really obviously “off” to some future viewer/reader/player. But I dunno, I feel like “fine” is maybe a bit too negative-sounding there? Like, depending on the context, it can be way more than just “fine”, it can fulfil a very important psychological need. Snappy slogans always inevitably lose some data, but I feel like there could be a more accurate yet equally concise phraseology there.

[@svinjamaria]

“I’m sorry, I panicked..” -guy about to run over stinky bella He was trying to eliminate the smell… lmao

[@RavenClaw88]

He almost did the world a great service. Then glitter boi had to interfere.

[@ausramarcinkeviciute4305]

This made me imagine a twilight parody where all the fan jokes are real, like Bella is actually stinky and Edward has to learn to tolerate it so he can date her, and he's not a vampire but just a druggie and she believes him when he tells her he's a vamp during a meth high

[@seraphimxiii]

this movie would be infinitely funnier and more watchable if the high-school age characters were actually played by teenagers. like the scene where edward saves bella from those guys in the alley but he's just a 17-year-old boy in a hand-me-down prius who really wants to be albert camus

[@briankaslewicz6130]

So, in other words, a chuunibyou?

[@meggo2z]

i mean… he’s 117 so it makes sense he has a nice car.

[@Glacier_Nester]

"What even was 2000s lingo, WHAT DID WE SAY?" Couldn't agree more, Luke, it really is like that.

[@TheHmm43]

Fo Shizle

[@ColumineMiette]

Booyah!

[@FroztiProductions]

Hella

[@ScotiaLynn]

we said everything was "random" i remember that cringe very vividly

[@FroztiProductions]

@@ScotiaLynn oh yeah that's better forgotten

[@FoundationAfro]

21:40 - I can't believe you guys skipped over the fact that the evil vampire gives a light toss to the baseball, and it comes flying to the good vampires at warp speed.

[@AH-ku9gk]

Please Ian and Luke, I know y'all are busy, but please continue reviewing the twilight films. They're so boring, yet in a funny and entertaining way and I'd love to see yall's reactions to the other movies!

[@Frog_Anarchy]

they get wilder as they go too lol

[@radRadiolarian]

i've never seen any twilight movies but i know about the whole jacob imprinting on the baby thing and i desperately want to see their reaction to that

[@ThePsychoRenegade]

Respect to Robert Pattinson for becoming an actual great actor after this terrible franchise.

[@DrHojo123]

He doesn't even like Twilight either.

[@sheevyp8340]

Kristen Stewart is also an amazing actress! I’m glad those two were able to get away from Twilght

[@catspaw3092]

He didn't like it but yet he doesn't get flack for it if another actor says they don't like a franchise they starred in everyone is jumping down their throat. And look now he's Batman Robert really has shed from being typecast.

[@kashmir99scor]

He's clearly talented but Twilight definitely got him crazy exposure.

[@meggo2z]

y’all should watch the lighthouse. best movie rob made imo.

[@Nefi424]

My partner was way into these movies when she was younger, but I'd only watched the first one like 12 years ago. She made me watch them all and jumped with joy at my despair. I now expect Ian to review the rest as well.

[@zacharystevens2153]

This movie has the same energy as a sitcom with the laugh track removed

[@swishfish8858]

Well, here we go. From obscure PC games to VHS tape mystery meat to microwave meal reviews to literally just a cooking channel then to... what, arcade machines? Wtf Ian, never change.

[@Trisepta777]

Dude! You slapped a fiiiish. You punched it. Why would you hit it?

[@thelastchannelonyoutube]

If there’s anything that you can expect from Ian, it’s that he’ll do something you don’t expect

[@austenlangford]

Next channel idea. Today we are going to change.

[@homelessgenie3366]

It's been one year since he blessed us with his comedic take on this beloved meme of a movie We are still waiting for him to review the rest of the saga. Supplies are dwindling and the men want to go home but we hold onto the hope that Ian and Charlie will sparkle on our monitors again soon

[@Azeria]

I’m team Ian

[@gjhartist3685]

Im team Buttcrack Santa

[@TheoMcAllister]

I remember watching Twilight at the cheap movie theater and one half of the audience wanted to see the movie and the other half was just poking fun at it and laughing when Edward said something, it was truly the only way to experience the movie. Except, the next time I watched all the movies was with friends and getting increasingly drunk and yelling "LEE PACE" whenever he was on the screen in the later movies.

[@skeetsmcgrew3282]

I cant believe you didn't mention the scene where he climbs a tree and literally just waves his arms as legs like a cartoon

[@jaspermaster7676]

Pretty sure he showed it while mentioning other issues though...

[@RhysezPieces]

On the "personal brand of heroin" line: I play a vampire romance interactive novel (Wayhaven Chronicles, its great check it out!) and a vampire says a similar line in it. That vampire is the book one villain who wants to use you as his personal Gatorade and is very clearly a predator.

[@kaitlyn__L]

And yet it was one of the main lines I saw repeated everywhere by fans

[@streetgamer3452]

Twilight is a story about a guy who was so obsessed with getting with a girl and said girl thinking that creepy obsession was cool and hot.

[@kennypitts4829]

That makes more sense now. I didn't watch the movie, but read the book it was based on. You know, the Torah.

[@flamingolegs]

"They glide around and can climb, kind of like Knuckles" literally so true

[@BlackStarofStarClanStarlords]

The edited together gasps is just amazing.

[@Bogkun]

Was it…breathtaking?

[@BlackStarofStarClanStarlords]

@@Bogkun YES XD

[@Joshmo1234]

I remember renting this movie on base when I was in the military and my roommates coming in and roasting me for watching Twilight alone in my barracks room. I had no idea this was adapted from a young adults book for teenage girls. Getting roasted by 3 marines all day and night was good times...

[@kilomillensimus9379]

Man I thought it would be like Salem's Lot or maybe Buffy, I never expected a chaste kiss ending where vampires are wholesome boyfriends

[@dumbsville]

This was one of the Twilight reviews ever made. Amazing video, Ian!!!

[@dutmala]

One of the what?

[@byeFofiko1]

@@dutmala One of the twilight reviews ever made.

[@tailsgoesfloofowo1085]

Hello Dumbsville! I thought you were dead after the Kanye incident!

[@tydyman2003]

yeah it is one of the twilight reviews

[@asdfasdf7199]

truth 😠

[@LanaAndHearts14]

Props to you for mentioning the angel wings scene! My whole years on this earth since I've seen that movie I've had similar thoughts and no one else has ever mentioned it! It cracks me up lol. I feel like it was intentionally done, however it comes across so comical to me. Thank you for your work good sir. Lol

[@diamonddisarray6479]

i love how robert pattinson has spent the whole rest of his career trying to move away from twilight, he just literally does weird shit like the lighthouse now it's awesome to see

[@JoakimOtamaa]

Gotta appreciate that. He's really good at doing weird shit.

[@ExtremeMadnessX]

And now he is new Batman.

[@wareforcoin5780]

Cedric Diggory deserves to be successful even if he made a mistake and played a role in Twilight.

[@ilyakalinin1883]

to be fair Kristen Stewart also had almost the same career path

[@NobuxD]

@@wareforcoin5780 mistake?? This made his career lol the salt in the comment section my God.

[@CascadianRanger]

The inside school shots of this were shot in my old high school, Madison high (now McDaniels). It recently got a heavy remodeling so seeing my old cafeteria, halls, one of I think my old art rooms in this is so weird

[@caseys2698]

That’s wild! It really must be weird o-p

[@CascadianRanger]

@@caseys2698 it is, especially since now none of it is there. Honestly, even though everyone in the school did know about it, it wasn't ever heavily advertised. I guess a school that leans into arts didn't even up wanting to be to heavily associated lol.

[@potatosordfighter666]

I'VE NOT SEEN SUCH BRAVERY. No really, watching the Twilight movies takes bravery I don't got.

[@grodcoyote6635]

When he said "this movie is like an onion", I thought he was going to say "this movie is like an onion, it makes you cry, not because you enjoy it but because it hurts"

[@JanitorJoey]

I'm so glad Ian ripped off the wig at the end. I was feeling seriously gaslit that they made no mention of the insane hair.

[@silver_lines]

I came here for some sort of clarification/hairification on this issue. Thank you. I am part way through the video right now. The hair had me lost.

[@hhoop3876]

@@silver_lines same, I thought he gelled it up into that shape

[@kitt3nbones581]

I was trying to make it okay by telling myself he looked like an anime character- or Ian Cullen

[@midorinchan]

I paused the video less than 2 minutes in trying to find someone addressing it. Even though the reveal is spoiled now, I can enjoy the review in peace.

[@1Thunderfire]

I thought Ian had decided to update his hair again and only later realised it was the same as Edward's. Damn good wig.

[@paulieswalnut]

When they were cobbling this crap together, they were just thinking: "Make it like Buffy the Vampire Slayer ....but dull ...and sexless ...and emo ...and awful."

[@thecosmicradiation]

The lady who wrote the book is Mormon which is why it is so sexless and (spoiler alert) Bella gets pregnant the very first time her and Edward have sex (after marriage, of course). But then the erotica series '50 Shades of Grey' was originally Twilight fanfiction, so at least one person out there looked at it and thought 'how can I make this horny?'

[@josefgordon7712]

Ian not realizing they got the golden onion makes me feel much better for not realizing that as well. Maybe that's why WE don't GET Twilight.

[@Gatorade69]

F**k ! There goes the onion !

[@rintonkatsu5203]

As a Twihard AND someone who watches so much brutalmoose that even my boyfriend lets me know when you upload - this is the most amazing video that was never expected.

[@itsjustr0wan]

"you're like my own personal brand of heroine" that's a great pick up line, all the ladies are into it

[@LC-qp7pr]

Heroin heroine.

[@TheKromusDevice]

Black Tar Heroine

[@beanfiend1489]

You forgot the first part "Your scent is like a drug to me..." Another great pick up line

[@PixelHeroViish]

All the lovely Ladies love the Helicopter

[@emmajeane]

hell id go for it

[@YellowpowR]

I think it's more fun to watch someone tear something apart when it's not from your childhood. Another great collab, Luke and Ian! I always get excited seeing you two make another video together! I've learned an irregular amount about movies such as Twilight or Netflix teen dramas second-hand from KZbin videos such as this one, that I'm worried someone will one day find out about my knowledge of this stuff.

[@TheRealGuywithoutaMustache]

You know something's up when a 28 minute review of Twilight ends up being more entertaining than Twilight itself.

[@catpoke9557]

It's a much more fun series to watch when you watch it with friends and make fun of it the whole time

[@DisgruntledPigumon]

I mean… it’s not hard to beat garbage.

[@lost8257]

Almost every review I've seen of it, has been more entertaining then the movie.

[@PixelHeroViish]

Can confirm, I watched the entire series and the first movie bored me almost to sleep, it felt like 5 hours lol

[@ExtremeMadnessX]

And nobody hates those movies more than actors themselves.

[@bogpaddle]

Honestly brutalmoose videos have SUCH high rewatch ability to me, idek how many times I've listened to and watched your videos man, they're always so good

[@Brenna-pi9hk]

I know, right? I've watched this one literally dozens of times.

[@raveneskridge3143]

Ya know, i never loved these movies even when i was the target audience. They're just hilarious as an adult.

[@kennypitts4829]

For whatever reason, I remember the promotions more than anything. Burger King's "team battle" over which guy is better displayed on plastic cups. I don't even eat Burger King, yet that's what stuck; I'm corruptible.

[@kittye8340]

I tried so hard to get into it but it was boring. Both guys creepy and bella was boring af.

[@Anonymous-kiwi]

It's so funny seeing people who know nothing about Twilight watching it. They're so confused by all the little things that for the most part are explained later but it also gets ten times crazier. I can't wait to see more if you do watch the rest :)

[@seviikun]

Didn't realize until a minute in that Ian's face was sparkling. Just thought he was normally that radiant

[@Brenna-pi9hk]

That's his aura.

[@literallywho1440]

I'm happy Yungtown is doing his music stuff, but I really do miss his comedy content; he's an incredibly charismatic and funny guy.

[@Zalaneax]

I never realized how confusing this movie can be if you haven't read the books. Every time y'all are puzzling over a scene I'm just sitting here like, "It's because of THIS!!" lmao

[@tannertadlock7741]

Yeah I’ve heard the books are actually pretty good

[@Zalaneax]

@@tannertadlock7741 I read them when I was like 12 and still reread them occasionally. It's probably just nostalgia glasses, but I still like them lol

[@wareforcoin5780]

This is how I am when people don't get Harry Potter. I recognize that if you have to have read the sorce material to get the movie, that's a bad movie adaptation.

[@tannertadlock7741]

@@wareforcoin5780 but Harry Potter is still coherent without the books, just missing the humor. Twilight is missing half its plot

[@k1773ns]

And that’s the mark of a bad adaptation. Anyone should be able to jump in without reading the books. Movie relies on the watcher having read the book so it doesn’t have to do its job in telling the back stories.

[@raventreye2326]

that Bella speaking montage was absolutely hilarious, Brutalmoose editing never disappoints

[@Liowen]

Something that has bugged me for a long time about Twilight is that if blood makes these vampires nearly uncontrollable than high school must be hell for them if you think about it. I mean around half the high school is girls and these same girls, at some point, will have their periods, and it wouldn't like a one time a month thing it would be happening nearly every day since they are not all synced......and I have thought WAAAAY too hard on this haven't I?

[@MistyCullen]

Canonical answer is that its "dead blood" so it doesn't attract them at all

[@opernce]

@@MistyCullen it's not even dead blood, it's just the womb squirming and shedding, it's very much just... Blood...

[@WadeAlma]

Women don't sync. That's a wives tale.

[@derous]

@@WadeAlma it's almost like that's what was written in the comment, crazy huh

[@skullchimes]

@@WadeAlma but it does happen sometimes its weird

[@azurekuzma3598]

The fact that Ian covered himself in glitter for this video. Top tier costumes lmao

[@crossingtheline2189]

I was like “why is Ian so sweaty” then I turned up my video resolution and it all made sense

[@Amber_123]

the pure, unbridled JOY on ian's face at 13:09 when he notices MJ creeping into the frame is what i live for

[@cinnamoonbuns816]

the range of the mooseverse is astounding, laughed until tears with this one !! Great job Ian (and Luke) !!!

[@antoinette365]

"The only person who bullies her is Edward" *flashbacks from years of Twilight discourse* thank you for reviewing this masterpiece!

[@cayleesmith1440]

as a woman answering the question at 17:58 I can confirm that being romantically pursued in this way would be 100% terrifying.

[@DisgruntledPigumon]

Yeah but you’re one of those odd nerdy girls who thinks. Not the typical girl who wants total protection, which includes total domineering.

[@essiikaheimonen7825]

As a lady, I also consider this type of 'romantic' speech 100 % weird. Verbal threats are not cool, also there are not many scenes where Edward would imply he actually likes Bella's character. Although I considered the whole movie as hilarious as a teenager :D

[@JohnDoe-uf3lj]

@@DisgruntledPigumon is this comment real?

[@kaitlyn__L]

@@JohnDoe-uf3lj it’s got to be sarcastic (if it isn’t I’ll die)

[@caradanellemcclintock8178]

If my husband of 3 years who I trust started staring at me while I sleep Id tell him to sort out his issues or get lost

[@Lextorias]

So glad you actually got Robert Pattinson's hair to be in this video

[@everythinghappenssomuch]

As someone who has the nostalgia factor, a former twilight superfan, now just someone who still kinda likes it and enjoys the memes, it would be so much fun to see y'all discuss all the movies!

[@endeityloon136]

as someone who never really "got" twilight, i feel like it's one of those things that after loving it during adolescence you revel in its awkwardness as an adult. like you recognize it isn't "good", but that's just what you love about it

[@ken1195]

"doesn't the movie just end or something?" *moments later they just randomly end their review video* lol

[@tinglesrosyrupeeland]

I am SO HAPPY for this upload!! I loooove the movie reviews that you and Luke do together!

[@lvl99sauce10]

Just when I had fully convinced myself that all hope was lost, Luke's mustache has granted me the newfound zeal and strength to rise back to my feet, clench my fists, and face the sunrise once again.

[@chickengenius4202]

By far my favorite KZbin fella, he doesn’t make many videos but they always deliver.

[@ilikecurry2345]

Suddenly I was like, "wasn't there a movie Bobsheaux and Raven reviewed about a human boy befriending a British vampire boy and there was a vampire cow who could fly?" when Ian was talking about The Little Vampire, then I remembered, yeah, that must've been a story told at least twice in movie form and this is the most recent one!

[@remainprofane7732]

I had no idea what you were talking about until you said flying cow. Then I had a flashback of watching it when i was 9 lol

[@CaptainPupu]

Back in those early 2010s i was 10-12, my sis was about 16-17. She loved this nightmare franchise so much she made me watch it every day. EVERY DAMN DAY i had to put on twilight 1 2 3 all of them. I watched it so much i can cite the whole movie from every characters line. I still have nightmares about bella and edward lying in the grass and playing baseball 🤬😡😩😵‍💫

[@skullchimes]

I wasn't a huge twihard but until recent times, with all the funnies and realizing as an adult- how the whole series is dumb and nonsensical. It sparks joy edit: the music kinda slaps though, rob pattinson himself has his own music in it as well. bon iver roslyn = my arm hair goes up

[@meggo2z]

i agree 100% tho i did enjoy the twilight saga when i was younger. it’s awfulness mixed with great music and robert pattinson (god i love rob) just makes me so happy. i binge the saga every couple of months just to feel something.

[@skullchimes]

@@meggo2z yeah just because something is not very well done it doesn't mean people cannot enjoy it for their own reasons. I also love Rob Pattinson, he's just gotten greater over the years (and more handsome of COURSE PFFF), I saw the lighthouse movie multiple times and went to the cinema to see the new batman movie AGH I'm so proud of him

[@DimT670]

The problem was not that its stupid, indeed the stupid elements have given ppl so much joy over the years, but why must it be so godamn mormon, not to mention sexist and a bit homophobic to boot

[@billiee8035]

what's weird is this film has a similar writing style and line delivery as Hannibal AKA one of the best shows to air

[@MajesticAngel13]

I find Hannibal’s writing to be more philosophical and metaphorical, and unintentionally gay

[@themarlboromandalorian]

Yeah, and it's about adults eating adults. Not adults eating children... Right?

[@jennifermckay5585]

@@MajesticAngel13 yes...unintentionally.

[@robinchirps1775]

THE LITTLE VAMPIRE WAS MY FAVORITE MOVIE WHEN I WAS FIVE. i’m so glad to hear someone mention it.

[@why2k87]

The fact that you watched this when you were five... greatly upsets me.

[@robinchirps1775]

@@why2k87 The Little Vampire????????

[@saru2530]

@@robinchirps1775 Got the feeling they misunderstood the comment haha😅

[@lost8257]

I actually moved to a school where I became popular almost instantly, simply because I was new. It was kinda nice, but only lasted until they realized I couldn't really play any sports, lmao.

[@chrisbent5734]

There's a LOT more romantic chemistry between Ian and Luke than between Bella and Edward...

[@Blackwaltz25]

Ian you nearly killed me with that final breathy line delivery supercut. I'm so glad you put yourself through this for us haha.

[@swolf712]

There's a reason the RiffTrax commentaries for these movies were such huge hits. 😂 The complete lack of any self-awareness makes them VERY roastable.

[@mattnart]

Line?

[@flannelpillowcase6475]

i'm still pissed the kickstarter for the live riffing didn't go through cus of the copyright. i donated a lot to that. that would've been a show of a lifetime.

[@control_the_pet_population]

The only time I've ever seen this movie was the few times I watched it with the Riftrax commentary... and yes, it's worth seeking out for those who are fans of that MST3K kind of humor. They drop a lot of really great riffs.

[@Seantendo]

"Armed with your staring fly?"

[@nateguerra7581]

It’s funny when Ian doesn't realize he’s watching a romance movie not a action-thriller

[@토니-u2l]

Triller

[@Sarahonwheels]

Billy Zane didn't have to give his all for Charlie Swan, but I'm thankful that he did for us.

[@ilikecurry2345]

Wasn't he Ansem, then he did a naughty then he went to jail?

[@cassette_tape]

That was Billy Burke, lol different Billy

[@WhaleManMan]

Billy Burke

[@expensivecrayon]

God I was laughing so hard watching this whole video. You guys have great chemistry and your editing is just hysterical.

[@Vic_Coco]

Charlie is just out here being the best dad he can

[@kaimcdragonfist4803]

Unironically, best character in the franchise. I’d watch a series (either tv or movies) about Charlie dealing with weird stuff as a police officer

[@Vic_Coco]

@@kaimcdragonfist4803 I could be wrong but I think there’s a book dedicated to Charlie

[@mathieunadeau5984]

Man that's a fresh start for 2022 a brand new, promising brutalmoose video about Twilight ❤❤❤

[@realshow689]

I have more nostalgia for people riffing on the movie and its fans than the actual movie or fandom.

[@planetschlock]

Seeing a "better than Twilight!" comment on a completely unrelated video still makes me smile. It's the most late-2000's thing ever and it warms my cold black heart to see people are still keeping that ridiculous torch burning.

[@Choochookyu]

I hope this becomes a new series! Also coincidentally I was racking my brain for years over a movie with a girl vampire telling a boy that vampires drink cow blood. I am so glad you brought up The Litte Vampire! Thank you Ian!

[@brygoatart]

Little Vampire was one of my favorite movies as a child and the fact that you brought it up and compared it to TWILIGHT means everything to me

[@lochnessvhs]

I am begging you and Luke to do more of these movies. This was S tier.

[@kinddoe3869]

i never thought "i need ian to watch and review twilight", but I am extremely happy right now to see him do just that for 30 minutes!

[@NotSoLegendaryGreen]

I wasn't expecting more reviews with Luke, but man do I love them. As usual, peak editing legend Ian makes the movie more interesting than it actually is lol

[@ZeranZeran]

I'm never going to unhear all the sniffs, the compilation was amazing. Your editing always cracks me up. You're my own personal brand of nostalgia and blockbuster. Thanks for the laughs you guys ♥ I loved this!

[@coolmanjack1995]

15:22 is now one of my favorite shots in all of Moose's videos

[@thomassifuentesmusic]

Gotta start 2022 off the right way, watching a brutalmoose review. Oh what a day!

[@guccispring]

ian and luke content always makes my day better no matter how many time i've seen it beforehand. can't wait to see more of you two together (:

[@guccispring]

also a hidden block reunion of some sort would be *chef's kiss*

[@SirLad]

Good to see Hidden Block back together

[@SweetieDemon]

I was so happy to see you and Luke together in another video! Hilarious and amazingly edited, as always

[@michaeldaigle7207]

Besides your unique deadpan style comedy, I think what makes your videos best is your editing. It constantly has me in tears. Hope you see this bud, hope you're well. Great video as always!

[@grindsalat966]

Can you both please review the remaining movies? This is great

[@comfyghost]

so fun fact about the scene where edward first see's bella; the is (likely) not trying to portray someone falling in love, but instead someone planning how the murder everyone in the room i'm not joking, that is canonically what's going through edwards head in the books

[@brutalmoose]

They should have let me listen to his internal monologue in the movie, I'd have loved to hear that.

[@comfyghost]

@@brutalmoose sadly this monologue is locked in a retelling of the first book from edwards perspective, that the actor was given pre-release chapters of to help portray the character, and it should be known that it is half filled with other psychopathic monologues just like this

[@DigitalApex]

@@comfyghost Sounds more entertaining than the original subject matter anyway. I'd love to see a spinoff of Twilight but it's like an alternate universe where Edward just goes into a psychotic rampage and ends up getting nuked by the national guard or something. I'd throw some money at that.

[@comfyghost]

@@DigitalApex spin-offs are meant to be different in some notable way from the main series. what you just described already happens inside of the story, just in edward or some other vampires head. what you described isn't a spin-off, an alternative universe or anything like that, what you described is twilight if it didn't blue balls us with every cool idea it almost had.

[@nijohn12]

YALL ARE MY FAVE MOVIE COMMENTARY DUO!! I hope Luke and Ian continues!!! We need more Ian and Luke. But yea Twilight is one of my comfort movies I love the colors and the lighting. It's cheesey but it's fun and the soundtrack is soo relaxing on a rainy day this movie hits. But I love seeing ppl roast it

[@rustyshackelford312]

Imagine if twilight was a mashup of the little vampire and the sandlot.

[@repulsethemonkey1396]

I'd watch that

[@electrosbizarre]

Canonically this takes place in the same world as "The Thirteenth Year"