Calculate your pet's HP with my 100% legitimate formula | Unraveled

[@polygon]

Want to bond with your pet by calculating their HP? You can find all the resources here: www.polygon.com/videos/2019/9/9/20849172/unraveled-how-to-calculate-pet-hp-hit-points

[@SkunkySpinda]

The only thing I would add is Bard class for animals that sing or mimic human speech because that can cause a mental buff for the player

[@solitarelee6200]

Oh my guy you fucking know I already had these printed out and my gillie suit ON to observe my fish for the next 12 hours. He is a RANGER and I am EXCITED.

[@nanophoenix1215]

Polygon man im just here to se if i can take my grandmas dobermen or not, im close to leveling up

[@holdmybeer]

according to Hamilton Morris, love is quantifiable.

[@nanophoenix1215]

thats not what i meant by take

[@jushpubby]

"What breed is your cat?" She's a level 21 Cleric with 117 HP

[@jmullentech]

@Grillidan You must REALLY love vacuuming 😂

[@baronnolanvonstraya5743]

> Level 21 NOT SCIENTIFICALLY POSSIBLE

[@GreekDudeYiannis]

Your cat got RNG-screwed for HP. WHY DIDN'T YOU TAKE THE TOUGH FEAT

[@jackdog06]

BaronNolanvonStraya bruh just multiclass

[@DrZaius3141]

Cat clerics are so underpowered, hardly any synergy.

[@brownie3129]

"Science isn't meant to be easy, it's meant to be right" *proceeds to power level his roommate's cat*

[@77734694]

Thats because he is not a scientist. He is a gamer

[@kConray]

He’s a gaming-scientist, he must be right

[@CrystalGreymon]

The future is now, thanks to science!

[@BobS4AC]

Science isn’t a quest, it’s a pissing contest

[@mithmoonwalker]

tedbear's powerlevel: OVER 9000!!!!!!!!!

[@aglazeddoughnut5250]

Brian is slowly, physically morphing himself into a 1970’s news anchor.

[@leveledup1nce]

Derryk Campbell With purple nail polish?

[@donkeymanusa6364]

I see it now.

[@keyantesamuel5794]

I was trying to find the words Lmfaoo

[@nicktopper1715]

Brian? I always thought this guy was ProJared?

[@amandakrueger6462]

I was getting more of a Kip Dynamite vibe, but yeah, newsman also works.

[@Leffrey]

Funny how he never actually ended up defining HP. For all we know Zuko could tank 305 14 inch shells.

[@idman4081]

That's because he can, did you see the power leveling he was doing? The shells will practically bounce right off of him

[@ripsystems755]

@@idman4081 I’m just imagining someone firing a shell, and then the cat does an anime moment, sending the shell straight into orbit

[@Lucifersfursona]

Just like the other one

[@hyup_yup6679]

I don't doubt it

[@shyfrog3731]

Well, in Dungeons & Dragons 5th edition, a regular punch from a human adult with no class or feats and 10 Strength deals 1 damage. My brother fits this description fairly well, so by that standard, my brother could punch Zuko 305 times (assuming none of the attacks are critical hits) before Zuko dies. EDIT: Although technically if we really are using D&D 5e mechanics, Zuko wouldn't die at that point, he would be unconscious and rolling death saves, but it would only take two more punches to actually kill him. So it would take my brother 307 regular punches to kill Zuko.

[@cody9766]

The obvious problem here is that you don't have enough gym badges for Zuko to obey you

[@nihil8471]

underrated comment!

[@alexanderkuntz2866]

If Zuko is level 63 then BDG needs to have the Marsh Badge from Sabrina for him to obey Keep in mind disobedience is only a factor if they are rare/mythical, or you do not own them Zuko is both and therefore BDG must face Sabrina in combat to command Zuko

[@robertdicke7249]

@@nihil8471 Is top random comment though.

[@nihil8471]

@@robertdicke7249 yup, but when I wrote that it had just a couple likes and now I feel like a proud mom watching his baby grow!

[@jaredj631]

Zuko is an accomplished fire 🔥 bender

[@Alex-cg9dy]

"I'm not dancing this season" he said, _like a liar_

[@rotibakar3697]

Dont mind me, but i just wanna say hi to ur profile picture Hy jay bee

[@honeyxilia3903]

is that john mulaney

[@Metaporphsycosis]

Love john mulaney (not enough to spell his surname right tho ooops)

[@TheDanishGuyReviews]

R/UnexpectedMulaney

[@do-nothingbear9474]

He zigged when we thought he would zag, then he actually zagged! The ultimate serpentine

[@moopster1558]

"oh thats a cool plant! what kind is it?" "A level 9 Ranger with an hp of 98"

[@8bitsokomame]

What activities was your plant doing exactly?

[@haroldjames8543]

@@8bitsokomame its constantly making its own food, and it follows the sun throughout the day

[@runningthroughacastle]

Damn, that's cool

[@Bulldog12189]

Oh dear, it appears that you've seen it

[@grojid1688]

@@Bulldog12189 Hayato

[@MyoticTesseract]

“I’m not a scientist. I’m a gamer.” words to live by

[@lennyternil336]

1 year, 1.8k likes, heart from bdg, and no replies?!?? how tf??

[@roooo7373]

I'm the multiclass so that logic is great yet hurts my soul

[@spaeracount5160]

> "This is Zuko, my roomate's cat. He eats my bagels when i leave them out." *That's rough buddy.*

[@oonasleep1673]

Spaer A Count I-

[@annadorofeeva817]

Ayyyyy the last Airbender 👏👏😂

[@sinjinvancleef2708]

Bdg would hate this comment, it is a gross misquote

[@kendrajade6688]

Ah well. Killed my whole family.

[@smittenwerbenjagermanjense1268]

Did the cat steal the bagels honor?

[@thenlnlkn]

“Every living creature is 1 hit point” Yo that’s deep

[@tomhill3248]

Except redwoods trees, those can totally survive an artillery shell. In fact, redwoods are technically only 1 part of a much larger organism. One Redwood might be connected to an organism that represents hundreds if not thousands of HP.

[@alexanderwolfgang5829]

@@tomhill3248 Final boss level hp there...

[@Idkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk50]

@@alexanderwolfgang5829 FACT: Deforestation is just beating a boss.

[@alyx8815]

I want mine to be at 0

[@zacharyhansen8250]

Moose have exactly 15

[@Beanathan]

Zuko: meows like an old smoker Me: “that’s rough buddy”

[@hanakikoi]

I actually started crying I was laughing so hard at how accurate that description was

[@userAsiral]

Dude atla fan=))))))))))

[@coriolis07]

Amazing

[@thanatoast]

Not to be dramatic but I would literally die for Zuko

[@wildharpy6435]

@@thanatoast the cat or the avatar character?

[@cecilyvals]

BDG: "he soothed my anxieties with his heavenly voice" Zuko: *AAAAAAAAAAAA*

[@theiveyed8677]

"I'm not a scientist, I'm a gamer." - Brian David Gilbert

[@ZoanBlade90]

It's a lower level scientist.

[@Michaela_ZC]

Truly inspiring

[@borderlinecrazy6444]

No no everyone it's a side class

[@borderlinecrazy6444]

Or... Sub class. Eh. Tamato tomato

[@kConray]

Not much of a difference, one is superior

[@zenakuwuma]

“Your pet is a Paladin if it is loyal, resourceful and honestly tries a little bit too hard” *looks over at my succulent* me: that’s you my guy

[@elijahelkwood5459]

zen quek My succulent is also a paladin: her name is Tabitha. I thought you might like to know lmao

[@zenakuwuma]

Elijah Elkwood that’s sweet, thanks for sharing! Mine’s called Sir Bump, do you know what kind of succulent is Tabitha?

[@elijahelkwood5459]

zen quek I don’t unfortunately :( She has rounded leaves with little points on the ends and some red coloring, that’s about it haha

[@xero2715]

@@elijahelkwood5459 Could she be a Desert rose paddle plant, a Crassula rupestris var. monticola, a Cotyledon orbiculata or an aloe plicatilis?

[@elijahelkwood5459]

Xero well after doing some research I’m starting to think she’s an Echeveria minima... Echeverias all look really similar to me though, and she’s definitely one of them! Thanks for all the ideas though!

[@spoopyd.8910]

You fool, all you had to do to calculate your dog's hp was to look at his tail!

[@skiesquiggles7319]

Nice gamer reference

[@namonaite]

what if it goes up and down constantly what do i do.

[@Elafi_Ela2]

We can't like this anymore but 20 people are stoopid

[@spoopyd.8910]

@@namonaite Love your doggo. It's going through a crisis but is ignoring in favor of loving you. Return the favor. Cherish thy pets.

[@Cudailis]

That will only give you your dog’s current HP percent. This video will show you your pets MAX HP.

[@PaleCentaur]

"Animal abuse is wrong, and if you needed me to tell you that......I'm glad I told you that." What a genius line. Genuinely not how I expected it to go, so excellent work subverting my expectations!

[@ahobbit1273]

Olivia is the real star of the show here. I assume she would have never imagined when she was studying biology in school that she would one day use it to help a chaotic video game man calculate the HP of a cat.

[@justas423]

TierZoo: Am I a joke to you?

[@joseppi1121]

@@justas423 now that's the crossover I want

[@Guariita]

Your description of Brian as a "chaotic game man" is so spot on it almost makes me feel attacked

[@hunner5622]

Dont say it three times

[@makaisenki]

Meh Lack of imagination on her part.

[@Kat-qe1vk]

Zuko's HP doesn't matter because I would die for him without hesitation but go on

[@borpie]

I imagined a fire-yielding cat

[@monckat4681]

zuko's effective HP is all of ours combined

[@maicpr7553]

@@borpie he must bring honour

[@annadorofeeva817]

*that's rough buddy*

[@porchcollapse8612]

Anna Bubbles I was waiting for that

[@YourLocalCatboy]

"It's all about class." -Karl Marx, 1848

[@GMOPsyche]

Underated comment over here

[@someonecool7316]

Knock knock its the German army we are here to send you back to Russia to start communism

[@glitterrylie2950]

The history of all hitherto existing society is the history of class struggle

[@valedragonspeak9004]

The Communist Manifesto, yeah?

[@firstnamelastname5230]

Vladimir Lenin: bro that’s deep

[@rabbit-rabbit-boy]

I love that Brian always refers to Laura as his roommate and never as his sister xbsnhfhfje

[@TheJoker-bf4hn]

I didn't realize Zuko was hers

[@alexread6767]

Okay, I'm about as intelligent as a steel plate I kept thinking "how do you pronounce xbsnhfhfje? Zeubznahfuh'huffjay? And where did that name come from?"

[@rabbit-rabbit-boy]

@@alexread6767 hahaha "her name isn't laura, it's Xbsnhfhfje thanks"

[@Dark0neone]

people are weird, i don't blame him. she probably appreciates it lol.

[@chickenskink1]

It might be for privacy reasons. Also maybe it's not her cat but Jonah's?

[@madisonwestwater9513]

"Does your zucchini plant produce too many zucchinis? A.K.A. any amount of zucchinis?" I'm detecting some negative zucchini energy here...

[@oongaboonga9481]

My zucchinni has -45/69 zucchinni energy, i dont know what it means, help, im scared it will explote.

[@zawarudo497]

zucchini SUCC

[@LuperisNone]

My uncle has a zucchini plant. He brought us giant zucchinis!

[@skyclaw]

The antidote to negative zucchini energy is calling it a courgette as God and nature intended.

[@runeanonymous9760]

Our Zucchini plant produced too many pumpkins and not enough zucchinis

[@johnb8265]

My cactus Ned is a Cleric, and I didn't know that I needed to know that.

[@bjorncollins1474]

Bizarrely, I have a plant that I'm not sure what it is, but it's a rogue. It will do nothing for months on end and then every once in a while it will make a flower that looks like it will eat me, is made of some sort of hide, and smells faintly of rancid meat.

[@petermarsella6537]

That is the opposite of what I expected of a cactus. Maybe a BARBarian?

[@Spookspek]

My grass is a wizard.

[@stanconnorstan4266]

My orchid Kenny is a Ranger and I absolutely needed to know that

[@anthraxhehehe]

My Orchid is a Ranger

[@freyjathehealer5559]

“His meow sounds like he’s been smoking 2 packs a day for the past 40 years.” Me: “What a weird thing I guess” *hearing the meow* “Comedy has peaked I’ll never laugh so hard again in my life”

[@Nico96as]

holy fuck, i couldn't stop laughing or crying when this came up, and reading your comment took me right back to it, now i'm scared of reading it again, monty python's deadly funny joke sort of deal

[@soapthesoap]

It was so funny I could have choked on milk

[@ihavenocluehowtochangemypr1161]

Same-

[@jer103]

What do you think feeding bagels to a cat would do?

[@stephanfiebig4950]

I read this just as I was watching that part and omg it is so funny

[@essymessy2534]

I did this for my little sister. She's a rogue, and I'm counting her as a small mammal. I carefully observed her while everyone was playing scrabble today, and after doing the math, her HP is 259.6. I think that's not too bad for a toddler, but I wanna see if anyone's done this for their pets. Tell me their HP and we'll see who would win in a fight. Your pet or my sister?

[@sylvy16]

he said in the video that this formula is strictly for animals. The sacred knowledge to the human ho formula lies solely with brian david gilbert.

[@jaredbumblecrum]

@@sylvy16 little siblings aren't people

[@funni_noises]

@@jaredbumblecrum correction humans gain the people status at 8 years old

[@jondw]

there is an error in that plan to see who would win, Hp is one factor among many

[@basil7448]

@@funni_noises so abortion at 7 years old is ethically sound. hell yeah

[@revyewsandreeakts]

2:29 This implies Brian is the sole owner of the formula to human hp. He's becoming too powerful

[@mitochondria6247]

fool, he was already unstoppable from consuming the ultimate mixture at the end of the skate episode of Gill and Gilbert. This is just him showing off too much and revealing his power.

[@epikitee2186]

he needs to become powerful to defeat his greatest fears

[@jer103]

He needs to be NERF'ed, he definitely doesn't need a BUFF....

[@childhoodtoysmodifier5639]

I have determined the formula and tested it (may they rest in peace) to find the HP of a human. I will fight against Brian should it come to that

[@CarnivalChimera]

Well boys we did it BDG is banished back to Oblivion

[@BlargleRagequit]

Each cat in my house is a different class, because I believe in a balanced party.

[@GhengisJohn]

I love this response, and I say that as someone with a sixteen year old cat who is clearly a cleric.

[@greenwaldian]

Adina Sayson as all things should be

Is one of them sorcerer?

[@RoboThot711]

My cat's a bard but he's retired

[@wolfrayne8355]

My cat was a sorceror. There was no other explanation for her ability to be everywhere at once. My current one is probably a rogue, because he's sneaky. My German Shepard is definitely a fighter. No brains, all brawn.

[@CrayonConsumerLXIX]

U forgot bard - makes lots of noise, and does literally nothing but look nice

[@JBergmansson]

Very true.

[@Rose-ew7bv]

Joshua Williams hm well someone doesnt want an extra d6

[@frosenbhai]

OHHHH THERE ONCE WAS A HERO NAMED RAGNAR THE RED

[@miaschannelforcommenting]

by this logic all birds are bards

[@miaball3577]

Birb

[@ilajoie3]

My old cat used to be a bard. He would serenade us with the songs of his people every night, had fathered a ridiculous amount of kittens, and would act like they were the best thing ever

[@paultapping9510]

I wish your cat was my dad.

[@AA-eq2zq]

Hope you neuter any future cats. The more cats there are, the more overfilled and under-adopted are shelters. 💛

[@SeriousBusinessman.]

@@AA-eq2zq you could just... keep the cats

[@kellycowley3535]

@@SeriousBusinessman. Too many pets would probably cost too much of their money and need too much of their time.

[@bonydanza7046]

How many hit points did he end up having?

[@kami7168]

Can we appreciate how hard this man works to get answers to questions LITERALLY NO ONE asked for

[@baguettegott3409]

"A lot of research put into things that really have very little meaning" as his mom said :D

[@Skulexander]

they're not the answers anyone was looking for, but they're the answers we wanted

[@dallydaydream]

The answers to questions we didn't realise we were asking

[@fyukfy2366]

Didn't he take a day off work to look at and play with a cat all day? Wait until you get a job

[@hannibalburgers477]

For a 15 minute video

[@rowansidhe3239]

you have perfectly captured the experience of living with a cat that is not yours.

[@sterlingphoenix]

Also a cat that is yours.

[@andrewvirtue5048]

You have a cat that's not yours? A street cat!

[@NoArtisticLimitation]

I have both, this is correct.

[@Keriously]

10 seconds in *"Is life quantifiable?"*

[@ashketchup7354]

Adam Blackler Hey, Vsauce! Michael here.

[@Panther-kid]

aka "BUCKLE UP SHITLORD IT'S GONNA GET WEIRD" - Polygon

[@marianavasconcelos9919]

man i was gonna like this comment but your likes are at 666 i can’t ruin that symbolism

[@ebloom2193]

@@marianavasconcelos9919 It's now 777 :)

[@marianavasconcelos9919]

Echeveria Bloom holY CRAP

[@blightsteel101]

HP was a measure of how many 14-inch shells a unit could take before changing to hit the fantasy world. Then Warhammer 40K happened and it went right back to meaning the number of 14-inch shells a unit could take.

[@Manu-yw2nu]

Brian: I ate spoiled sushi just to calculate your HP, do something!! Zuko: That’s rough buddy

[@_y0inks581]

I WAS LOOKING FOR A COMMENT LIKE THIS

[@heathurban9217]

Oh boy am I glad I watched the show. the references are golden.

[@jatomeer9605]

There is no war in Ba Sing Se

[@Silverwind87]

He was in the cupboard looking for the Avatar.

[@Neel-xb1ok]

Lmoaaaa

[@catmask1123]

You didn't cheat, your part of his natural environment. You need to interact for proper results.

[@Flowtail]

Sometimes a username is the icing on the cake

[@termy3934]

He just grinding tho

[@TheGodOfDucks4806]

It's a speedrun strat

[@alexgibson666]

zuko has the ugliest meow i have ever heard in my life. also i would die for him

[@BonnieBugsy]

You will.

[@velvetsisnotsoft]

im scared for op

[@OMartinez91]

I think those meows were about honor

[@mildlymarvelous]

My cousin’s cat sounds exactly like that lol

[@oxfordcommaisthegreatest]

@@OMartinez91 Honour?! WHERE?!

[@IanFraser420]

My cactus is a level 900 ranger. Thank you, Brian, for showing me its true potential.

[@senoreverything6366]

This man saved Polygon from becoming just another IGN. Whatever they're paying him, it's not enough. Edit: with the recent loss of BDG from Polygon, may this comment serve as a memorial. We miss you, Brian. Good luck Polygon.

[@cb-wi1cq]

YES

[@RadiantClaire]

Without bryan polygon would be so bland

[@WowItsErin]

If the fact that he went on strike a month back is any indication of matters, it's DEFINITELY not enough.

[@elh7149]

Ok, but consider Simone and Pat Gill in that equation too, for their personalities are truly beyond compare *chef's kiss*

[@ninemedia_]

Keep upvoting this!

[@mechanizedmind2472]

Friend: "Oh what a cute cat you have!" Me: "Yeah, his name is Gismo. He's a Level 30 Cleric." Friend: .....................

[@vinegardoppio6947]

😊👍✨

[@WeevilLover9000]

Lol

[@soren1803]

Kain Spider Of Death fuckn...that’s my cats name!

[@j.j1916]

he also doubles as a chonky TANK.

[@Energistx]

you find the gamer when they ask, "In what game?"

[@infamous8131]

“By the most wicked forces on earth, like health insurance companies” This man should be king

[@EraWaffles]

Timathor 2005 bold of you to assume he hasn’t been instated already

[@lukedobrin1485]

EragonTheKing Slayer yeah he is already a god, why should he be a king

[@callusklaus2413]

Just vote for Bernie Sanders

[@ianbehrstock]

Medicare for all!

[@donutholebandit6212]

He isnt???

[@TecKirb]

In D&D 5e, my favorite way of quantifying HP is in weasel bites. One weasel bite does exactly 1 damage, so all other damage in the game can be counted in weasel bites. For example, the average commoner would die after being bit by a weasel 5.5 times (4 health until unconscious, then 1-2 critical bites for death saves based on the 50/50 dice roll).

[@toe_sucker_4165]

The Tarrasque can survive 676 magical weasel bites.

[@ahuman9519]

How about the vampire straud guy? (Very sorry forgot his name)

[@DruNature]

5 weasel bites!? are they biting your throat out or something, I would think it would be closed to like 300 weasel bites to kill a fully grown human.

[@Marlyjade]

​​@@DruNature have you been bitten by a rodent before? I have handled rodents before, and while not weasels, rats and rabbits. they can absolutely draw blood. it hurts. now imagine a CARNIVORIOUS RODENT Pet ferrets have stronger bites than cats and can lock their bites making it easier to rip meat apart. I know ferrets and Weasels are different but they are very close. I recommend BBC's video on the Weasel, Fiesty and Fearless. I love those tooby guys, but they can be scary.

[@georgiykireev9678]

@@Marlyjade Yeah, but 5 bites? Killing an adult human in 5 bites is something I would expect from like, a dog that's on the larger side. Something capable of ripping tendons and breaking bones.

[@nikolo987]

Coworker: "Oh you were sick yesterday right? Do you feel better?" Brian: "Heck yeah! I powerleveled my roommates cat to 305hp!!"

[@pokefanmelody]

"I-in a game, right? You were playing your roomate's game, right??"

[@Astyrical]

“What?! I can’t beat my cat to strengthen it?”

[@Lucifersfursona]

@@Astyrical you strengthen your cat by letting them rabbit kick your arm

[@samsherrill6097]

BDG: "Cat and Dog are different categories" Also BDG: "Fish and Whale are the same category"

[@lexizheng2472]

I think whale is closer to cat than it is to fish

[@owenburt1606]

@@lexizheng2472 it is

[@jojofan8810]

@@lexizheng2472 Can confirm cat devours krill for hours at a time

[@raymondhorn1052]

That sweet sweet walord on skitty action

[@CrystalGreymon]

@@raymondhorn1052 I somehow knew that was gonna be here...

[@godusopp3681]

bdg : So did you ever reasearch the Hp of an animal Field Biologist : *visibly confused*

[@alholz7836]

After years of observation, I have concluded my pet spider, Ted, has 10.2 hit points. My 5 inch leg puppy can survive more than 10 point-blank shots from a 14 inch shell.

[@voidgamer7122]

only 10?

[@galaxycat9966]

leg puppy, i'm dying

[@JDRetrolUtion]

Leggy Dog

[@Camulus777]

I actually have 4 cats, 1 is a rouge, 1 is a ranger, 1 is a cleric, and one is a barbarian. That's a pretty balanced team with another barbarian beagle and a paladin german shepherd. I also have some chickens but they are all NPCs.

[@ebonih8460]

wtf why do you have so many animals? HOW do you have so many animals?

[@redpikachu3754]

@@ebonih8460 Why does it matter? How do YOU not have that many animals? (Proceeds to categorize the class and HP of my 20+ dogs and veritable herd of farm animals.)

[@bowserwithpants9764]

This lad can start his own RPG

[@calcifer6142]

I KNEW GERMAN SHEPHERDS WOULD BE PALADINS YES

[@aswd90]

@@bowserwithpants9764 As he should!

[@marlesimms]

You've left out a crucial pet class, BDG: the bard. Vocal, charismatic, performative, dramatic. My kitty cat is 10000% a bard

[@emoloser8642]

we may need to add to the sheet

[@c-arfredvillaluz7961]

Everyone forgets about the bard. While Knights weild their mighty sword able to cut the darkest of evils right in their hearts, Archers shoot arrows from thousands of miles away from their target and still hitting their mark, Mages speak but a couple of words and wave their wands once to level even the tallest of mountains, and so on and so on with each hero, each with their own mystical arsenal of equipment. The bard sings Toto from Africa to keep everyone in the party from being sad.

[@SoccRMom62]

But does your cat want to seduce a dragon?

[@c-arfredvillaluz7961]

@@SoccRMom62 No but my Donkey does!

[@gwonamdehairoule9631]

​@@SoccRMom62 if she could get some food and pat from it, my cat would definitely seduce a dragon.

[@oddswan9993]

Not to be dramatic or anything but I’d 100% die for Zuko

[@BodaciousBasil]

oddswan Same

[@asinussum]

He remindes me of the cat my roommate has. He moved, and with him, his cat. I miss the grumpy little bastard.

[@nevermore7310]

I’ve known him for minutes but if anything happened to him I’d kill you all and then myself.

[@gorfthedevourer7906]

Yes, as his heavenly voice guides you to the afterlife.

[@damienroyer4689]

Iroh, get off the web, your tea is burning!

[@levibenzie9993]

I like how he actually reaches out to proffesionals about a random topic that probably no one has even thought about before

[@defensivekobra3873]

_"go cast spells with your turtle"_ -polygon 2019

[@york7301]

I don't have a Magical turtle...He's a tortoise.

[@jamestrevelyan1268]

York As someone else with two adventurous and surprisingly sneaky tortoises, yes, I will cast spells with them. Mostly Locate Creature because they move real fast when I take them outside.

[@defensivekobra3873]

@@jamestrevelyan1268 have you considered the slow spell? Works like a charm unless they have high wisdom

[@TurtleRhythm]

My red eared slider is a level +50 mage now after this advice

[@snark_888]

"I've been dealing with this small bastards antics for so long, I need to remind myself why he's here by quantifying his value" 😂

[@ginettelavigne1528]

me, about to put the child I've been babysitting for ten minutes insofar, on the black market

[@nuggetboi3462]

I am offended that you didn’t include the rock category

[@LostSoulSilver]

Same

[@nuggetboi3462]

DiggleDuggle not a bad suggestion

[@SongbirdOfficial]

If you want to do the math yourself, the base HP range for Rocks is 110 for Coalossal and 30 for Rolycoly. The range for Rock-*types* is actually 123 for Aurorus and 20 for Shuckle, but Aurorus is a dinosaur and Shuckle is a weird mold thing.

[@bearcatben4762]

@@SongbirdOfficial I thought shuckle was a turtle or a hermit crab

[@uniqhnd23]

Rock types have 1HP but incredibly high defense. Almost game breaking. The moment they crack is when they clone themselves at which point, you have more than one rock pet.

[@deepslatetiles]

zuko’s face conveys such a human emotion but it is one that i cannot name...

[@demonchilde6664]

M a l i c e

[@Robot3k]

1970 Vacuum cleaner salesman

[@imadethisaccountjusttocomm8064]

disdain

[@Mossious]

zjierbness

[@whoknows4780]

@@Mossious I came here to report this very human emotion. Glad someone else did first.

[@derphooves61]

Whenever anyone asks me what kind of horse I have, from now on I’ll just say “a level 88 rogue with 256 hit points”

[@stahby]

Oh no

[@Lucyzilla64]

You have a really weak horse. I'd expect them to have like 400+ hit points.

[@marlen4200]

Mine is a level 48 cleric and has 201 HP 😂

[@escalator8969]

My parrot’s a level 31 bard with 249 hit points.

[@skipples_exe]

"For the frog people." "Horny dog" "Go cast some spells with your turtle"

[@revilno]

Yes

[@azathoththe3rd]

I now have a homebrew idea

[@thomasphotos8466]

Now THIS would make a good dnd campaign

[@alfiesmith4980]

Yes I need a d&d character a bland human with a magic turtle

[@martinszymanski2607]

damn, you saw the video too? i'm happy for you dude

[@toastycafe]

14:32 “And all this time I had spent trying to calculate his hp, I hadn’t realized he was replenishing mine” is a really sweet thing to say and it makes the whole video much more wholesome.

[@capsaicin_potato7529]

V A N G O B A N G O

[@2GoatsInATrenchCoat]

Until the cat sucker punches him

[@Liz-lq8hw]

I love the fact that Brian said he didn't include any caster classes because magic pets, but still included Paladin and cleric, despite them also being casters, just not arcane.

[@ThatOneGuy-wr8rh]

i mean the difference between a guy who has arcane magic and some really devoted religious guy's pretty big

[@Lucifersfursona]

@@ThatOneGuy-wr8rh and I am thankful for that chasmic difference every day

[@maddieb.4282]

This is the kind of pedantic comment I needed here 😂😂

[@annabruestle251]

Divinely inspired but not naturally magical I guess?

[@eliaschris51]

"I'm not a scientist, I'm a gamer." --Brian David Gilbert, 2019

[@sojjjer]

Elias Christodoulos that is my year book quote

[@Hlast1]

He truly understands that we live in a society.

[@nathesford9701]

More like Brian David GAMEbert

[@lance5445]

"I'm somewhat of a gamer myself"

[@tristanheck2209]

dude... you look like not muda

[@manusaiz2911]

Brian: ..And that makes this guy is a Barbarian. * Pets * Zuko: * RAGES * 100% Barbarian confirmed.

[@deviljoe1750]

“Does your zucchini plant produce too many zucchinis, a.k.a. any amount of zucchinis? It’s a paladin.” Welp, found my senior quote

[@mebreevee]

Mr. DevilJoe Im jealous, we didn’t get senior quotes

[@elizabethhicks4181]

Having the murder pickle as the profile image behind this quote is beautiful.

[@mead9062]

@@elizabethhicks4181 ikr

[@deviljoe1750]

Bree Coke-Attewell honestly, don’t know if we do either, but if we do, this is it

[@ThatOneIrishFurry]

"and it if you needed me to tell you that... Im glad I told you that" is energy i want to bring to the world

[@jello-fello9009]

every time his jorts come into frame, I feel vaguely haunted by something I don't wish to remember

[@sentienttapioca5409]

Jello-Fello I listened to this video while washing the dishes, and I /was/ going through the comments. Now, though, I’m watching, just to see if you’re pulling my leg

[@eaglesc]

“I love him with all my heart and he loves me just the same” Zuko: *punch*

[@sonja5058]

That's very on-brand for our fire nation guy

[@oof3457]

That's just how kitties are

[@critter8132]

That's his barbarian coming through

[@honeyhannijung]

Nobody ever said love didn't hurt 😔

[@justacryptid4687]

I have never seen a more accurate response from a cat

[@robotlorekeeper9880]

9:44 you can pinpoint the exact second that Brian conjures the extremely tempting prospect of becoming Brian David Ghilliebert

[@Silverwind87]

one day...

[@superhappygamer1162]

Yeah… 666th like… sorry!

[@alfiegordon9013]

@Lind Morn yo what bro

[@RhysLloyd2611]

@Lind Morn 666 isn't even the devils number that's 601, 666 is just from some movie from like thr 60s

[@halladall1]

Since the animal in question is a pet, you are part of it's environment, so you are allowed to interact with it as normal when observing it. Also how do you handle the HP of multiclass pets?

[@matrixcode5945]

ha, jokes on you, my cat is an immortal trickster god who cannot be killed, and I am currently forced to serve him for all of eternity, please release me from this hellish life

[@crishealingvtuber8626]

If he is a god, i, as a christian, am obligated to kill him. The heretic

[@holmholmsen4158]

still less hp than emerald weapon

[@mylahobbit1815]

plot twist - you are a warlock and your pet is your patron

[@matrixcode5945]

@@mylahobbit1815 god damnit I wanted to be a hexblade not some shitty commoner warlock

[@sekiyo_]

@@matrixcode5945 I guess you're Pact of the Chain with your Patron then?

[@babyccinoau1321]

Wait a minute this is just a better buzzfeed quiz I’ve been duped

[@plake]

But this is backed with the power of SCIENCE.

[@princessmanitari4993]

@@plake and memes

[@lyl14ghost]

@@princessmanitari4993 and gamer power?

[@princessmanitari4993]

@@lyl14ghost YES

[@nekocat4913]

Now any time someone questions a statement I make I'll say that it's backed up by the power of science, memes, and gaming. I am _so_ going to get straight As in debate class.

[@ProdigalSunlite]

I did the math for a human, Brian David Gilbert has roughly 72 HP.

[@malxire]

yup no matter how i modify the formula for humans he doesnt get more than 100 hp even giving him the bard class he starts with base human hp of 28(raltz base hp) and gain performance points for an entire day of making this videos he barely reach the 98 hp

[@rwaitwhat]

You must not do the math for a human. It is against the wizard laws!

[@socialbarden1974]

TOO MUCH POWER.

[@mileator]

How much damage does my long-sword do again? I have this slashing appointment with my friend Brian, and I need to know how many Cuts I need to make. You know as friends.

[@blairblue6769]

He is weak. SLAUGHTER HIM.

[@shwash5284]

Thank you so much, Brian. Because of your pragmatic advice, I stopped watching this video immediately and began nurturing my relationship with my magical turtle. Now Sherman and I spend our free time combating the Amorphous Threat, and we couldn't be closer.

[@levilukeskytrekker]

+.

[@Ptchwrkk]

My dog earned 3254 HP points by being a ranger and ignoring me all the time

[@7evenZee]

Seems legit

[@viciousclam2417]

Missed opportunity to collaborate with TierZoo, the leading expert in animal stats.

[@Stothehighest]

You took my thought. Domestic Cats are pure support class, so they get + points for that.

[@dofw.mp4330]

TierZoo is from the USA, but Tier is german for animal and Zoo is Zoo too, so its a legitimate german word. r/nooneasked

[@DidntExpect]

@@dofw.mp4330 Also a moot point because the channel is a zoo of tier lists, not because it is German.

[@megamaster1610]

You’re so right

[@BoomKatz]

@@dofw.mp4330 dont link subreddits outside of reddit you mong

[@schoo9256]

Olivia: you can wear a ghillie suit BDG: OH? *look of extreme interest*

[@omega1575]

What do we do if we don’t have a ghillie suit?

[@schoo9256]

@@omega1575 you'd have to ask Olivia

[@olipolygon]

@@schoo9256 im not THE olivia but i am A olivia security cameras. lots of them. everywhere. or just go outside and peek through the window i guess dhdhch

[@ufoash440]

@@olipolygon With some leaves on your head at least though. Make a bit of an effort!

[@pinkbubble115]

​@@schoo9256 observe from a distance, hide behind parts of the environment (ie. your couch, behind a bookshelf, etc)

[@wotmaniac22]

This might be my favorite Unraveled video, and Brian isn't even having a breakdown.

[@lackerstacker2146]

1985: We will have flying cars in the future 2019: “Calculating our Pets HP”

[@rodrikforrester6989]

flying cats*

[@khicks8799]

Lackerstacker X21 and it is better

[@aangsstaff4174]

“Science shouldn’t be easy it should be correct” is the best quote from the v

[@disastergirl888]

I’m currently writing my PhD thesis and kinda maybe seriously considering that as my opening quote

[@vienlacrose]

Do it, or i'll report you to the ethics department for plagiarism.

[@WM_1310]

Wait a minute, this isn't a video on Pokemon edibility.

[@Tudsamfa]

He has to wait until Sword/Shield is out. What is even the point of such a video without Wooloo(?)?

[@jhubeJELLO]

one wailler feeds a village for 3 weeks

[@kuchenjaeger2164]

@@Tudsamfa And the curry!

[@InnuendoStudios]

it's not NOT a video about Pokemon edibility...

[@indiefruit]

www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/74mgdu/which_pokemon_would_taste_the_best/ It's all right here

[@aguy8545]

13:01 Zuko's concerned look to the camera was perfect.

[@thefantasticdrill788]

“I’m not a scientist, I’m a gamer.” - Brian David Gilbert, 2019.

[@user-wq7ms7eu9j]

"Science shouldn't be easy, *it should be corect* " -BDG Is my new wallpaper.

[@stonecat676]

wallpaper? I already have his face tattooed on my back

[@funkytime69]

corect

[@user-wq7ms7eu9j]

@@stonecat676 weird flex but ok

[@ricochet4674]

honestly, Zuko is a great name for a cat. Does he rant about his honor every once and a while?

[@revilno]

And he doesn’t need a lighter

[@jjjm7322]

In a Gil and Gilbert stream he said his sister(I think) got him as a stray and he was really grumpy and hissy so she named him Zuko in the hope that he would end up more friendly

[@anopinion1349]

@@jjjm7322 that's actually so cute

[@CallMeMimi27]

Like every single cat they are pridefull creatures. Easily offended. The only difference between cats amd dragons is that cats have hair and dragons have scales.

[@47Times2]

a friend of mine has a blind cat he and his wife took in as a rescue. they named her Toph.

[@mustafalatif498]

when finding HP in pets you SHOULD interact because most of your pet's normal interactions happen with humans (or maybe with other pets)

[@TheArchsage74]

Brian David Gilbert is the most English-looking American I've ever seen

[@gearandalthefirst7027]

I didn't even notice he was American lol

[@PresidentFunnyValentine]

He looks like someone from the New England area to me.

[@surfacingcom]

@@PresidentFunnyValentine circa 1847, maybe.

[@chaosbetta1667]

The mustache is growing on me

[@ellieporter3182]

@@chaosbetta1667 No it's growing on him.

[@genuineinterest]

When you realise that in attempting to powerlevel Zuko Brian was actually friendship-levelling him.

[@BluBearGaming]

"I love this human the most because he supports my evil doings!"

[@drakkenmensch]

*Zuko proceeds to whap Brian in the face* Yup, that's normal barbarian behavior right there!

[@xronium]

Drakkenmensch Silverflare kinky

[@negativeresponse9165]

I think, throughout the day, Zuko multiclassed a little bit to Cleric.

[@ronnierockit4468]

RIP to my barbarian cat Greybeard. Miss that dude every day. His brother is a paladin and his sister is a cleric. Their mom is a total rogue.

[@koreanbbq2376]

"Go cast spells with your turtle" Instant like and sub

[@sketchylinkspambot5454]

Oh boy, nothing brightens my day quite like a new Unraveled. *presses play* "Is life quantifiable?"

[@juneothy]

i can't wait to ignore my work and calculate the hp of all 8 of my pets

[@julesced]

me waiting until 11:00 at night to watch my hamster for 3 hours to quantify her worth

[@InTenZeGamingHD]

Can you update me on their HPs?

[@juneothy]

I will absolutely update this with their hps, it'll just take a couple days

[@Gnomeious]

You only have 8 wat a Peasnt I have 17 get good scrub

[@dog1955]

Amanda Whitehouse goddamn Amanda hurry up this is important

[@lilyrolyat6726]

Lost chapter of 1984 where health insurance companies know your HP but won’t tell you

[@weebthatlifts5750]

Polygon hires this guy and all of a sudden they making views *stonks*

[@themoribundapathetic4530]

internet points

[@FantasKanal]

@@themoribundapathetic4530 0.001$

[@Connordore]

“What are you doing here? Go cast spells with your Turtle.”

[@deviantartguy0]

Connordore Best quote.

[@draco5991rep]

Okay I will :)

[@annceres1204]

This begs the question, what class would you be? A warlock because you recieve power from your turtle? A wizard because you learned how to control turtle power through study and companionship? Or just a regular non-magic class with a magical animal friend?

[@sr.l8366]

SIR! YES SIR!

[@zhenshei9398]

11:32 BDG: "I need to remind myself why he is here by quantifying his value" Zuko: (Slowly turns eyes towards the camera)

[@thatguythere6161]

I imagine him thinking “well, he’s not wrong”

[@treespawned7844]

So you're telling me, my next D&D session is gonna be like. Player: "Well, actually my Cat is a barbarian, so it has a d12 hit dice, instead of a d4".

[@Maria-fz8km]

My betta fish got 1812 hit points - the calculations had classified him as level 510. I have a very active fish apparently.

[@Corviidei]

Wow. He’s been doing some farming lately, huh?

[@banananarwhals2016]

Which class is he?

[@akkarin5464]

But any hit is a critical, x5 if out of water

[@Galactus78]

That fish is a Raid Boss

[@neonlite25]

I mean yeah those fish are fighters.

[@petermarsella6537]

Me: oh boy I can't wait to watch this fun new video BDG: is life quantifiable?

[@bradonhoover3002]

"He's been replenishing my health the whole time" Class: Barbarian

[@seabassthegamer6644]

It's a passive skill intended to automatically regenerate hp. It just happens to heal nearby allies as well.

[@enderesting]

the cat obviously multiclassed after the leveling

[@KingKinokoDayo]

It's his passive ability from his type

[@woahtherebud01]

Feels weird that I haven't watched a single Polygon video since BDG left, just rewatching unraveled

[@xx_gamrrgurl69_xx47]

Turns out my pet rock is a ranger and I love him for that

[@-ism8153]

Is it a plant? An exotic animal? A bug?

[@borpie]

You're holding your rock behind!

[@jewbearidk]

@@-ism8153 exotic animal

[@douglasphillips5870]

Ranger is a pet class so technically you are the rock's pet.

[@howardyanow2883]

Would that make him a rolling stone?

[@ninetails8471]

"He loves me with all my heart, and i love him as much." *Brings cat closer* *Cat pushes away* "Nyeorh!"

[@tomhill3248]

Looked like the cat was trying to hug him to me and Brian was just to cowardly to accept the cats love. He's totally a squishy wizard, not much HP on him for sure.

[@userafw]

He was holding the cat wrong. Most cats do not like their belly involuntary exposed and they like their back legs supported. Also, some cats never like to be picked up.

[@ninetails8471]

Why is this one of my most liked comments

[@thewolfofthestars1847]

New idea for Unraveled: rank all the Pokémon on the IUCN Red List of Threatened species based on information from the games like encounter rates and spawn locations.

[@LuxSingsSongs]

This is so much better than the Pokémon edibility idea.

[@ShiGuyRadon]

YES

[@pinkbubble115]

god this is such a good idea

[@ButterfliesInTheAir]

Oh my god I love that idea... BDG please

[@cb-wi1cq]

YES