Bitlife but I am addicted to everything

[@jamieisfierce]

"It's not you, it's the asthma" Girls only want one thing and it's *lungs*

[@Carla-wk3mz]

As a girl I can confirm we're going to steal your lungs and sell them on the black market

[@CatMuto]

You can't underestimate the allure of functioning lungs~

[@justrcd]

Smh we all know the only thing they want is both your kidneys

[@eddiecowen2624]

It's f*cking disgusting

[@callmeturg]

@@Carla-wk3mz as a man with bad lungs due to secondhand smoke, take them

[@EMS12000]

"You and a monk locked a priest into a bathroom at a local movie theater" Why I'm not surprised by this absurdity?

[@patricks_music]

Sounds like the setup of a bad joke lol

[@justanamericandoggo6725]

I surprisingly wasn't surprised either.

[@lesigh3410]

I laughed so hard when that happened, it was so out of the blue.

[@legatelanius9762]

@@patricks_music a monk, an addict, and a priest walk into a movie theater...

[@Mr-Green0]

Ok, I have a lot of questions.

[@user-y7v8k]

New crossover: KeVans. The shoe, that makes questionable content!

[@callmeturg]

Sounds amazing!

[@Rain-hg2jk]

KeVans: The shoe that starts a cult!

[@LynnAgain83]

Ooohhh I want a pair of bright blinding white KeVans!

[@UtopssAKAPJ]

oh the VANity 😆🤣

[@callmeturg]

Congrats on the heart!!

[@xerneis743]

10:12 "Rumors that you have a human skull in your head." HOW DARE SHE

[@treefrogg]

I thought it said that too, and I was like No way, really?

[@Helixtronline]

it actually said desk, not head.

[@xerneis743]

but Kev said head

[@Helixtronline]

@@xerneis743 I suppose.

[@doofass6356]

@@Helixtronline it a joke

[@ahobbit1273]

“You and a monk locked a priest into a bathroom at a local movie theatre.” I would absolutely watch a movie about a delinquent and their monk accomplice committing minor inconveniences.

[@doofass6356]

Yeah

[@unus-annus]

Yeah

[@Mr-Green0]

Sounds like a SNL skit.

[@bearnuggs]

lock enough priests in enough bathrooms, the kids can make their escape

[@Vicioussnakeboy]

​@@Mr-Green0 Sounds like an event that would be mentioned in College Humor videos

[@izlet627]

“that’s a much better addiction- the party life” LMAO

[@UtopssAKAPJ]

😆🤣 was so funny i was going to comment the same thing

[@Monster-od4gi]

until the party is in a strip club

[@LynnAgain83]

@@Monster-od4gi or until you're working at one.. 👯

[@izlet627]

omfg he hearted my comment ahahahah i’m so happy💞

[@d_the_great]

LMFAO* haha get it Or am I just that old?

[@marshidden4352]

Wow, Kevin’s really starting to reform! He hasn’t put “brutal”, “kill”, or “torture” in the title!

[@edhemsehovic6145]

He's surely going through some serious rehabilitation... I just want old Kevin back 😔

[@deadaccount505]

Oh my god, it’s a miracle

[@mrstrealyogurl]

I don't know if this is a good change he's starting to talk about addiction much more than murder

[@whomidity3953]

Thank goodness.

[@pulp6588]

Now it’s addiction!

[@pinkpufferfish7007]

My future date, in tears: why are you breaking up with me?? what did I do?? Me: it’s not you, it’s the asthma

[@Andrea-on5ry]

bigggest turnoff🤮😒

[@daviddoesthings8931]

Your future date: I’m not real.

[@767KirbyLord]

*sad asthma noises*

[@jakeperalta1691]

@@767KirbyLord Soooo they're hyperventilating then?

[@justanamericandoggo6725]

uh oh

[@oliverhughes610]

That faint 'spit in his mouth' during the one date later slide got me

[@pluto9822]

“i’m gonna invest this straight into myself” ooh kinky

[@ashikjaman1940]

Kevin is a Yakuza character confirmed

[@Emil_Stoltz]

@@ashikjaman1940 Sonotōrida.

[@jeaddhist]

And I miss talking about life and other stuff

[@retrolush3200]

@@jeaddhist vErY sPeCiFic

[@jeaddhist]

@@retrolush3200 Shut up! I like my parents

[@callaschiefelbein3825]

“Time is the greatest hit man of all” I’m stealing that.

[@Emil_Stoltz]

Agent 47: "You know that man time? Damn good hitman!"

[@LavenderReynolds]

I've never seen "Among Us" spelled as "everything" before.

[@kaylynnl6800]

Ffs😂😂

[@LizzieNya]

That's just his state of denial

[@erikboydston4476]

THIS COMMENT WINS

[@huebuckle8198]

Jim Slip-in sneakers

[@ringle7000]

I saw this comment about 5 minutes ago without a heart. Thought it was only a matter of time before you got one. Boy I was right.

[@gnackered]

Kevin: gets addicted to everything under the sun Game: You died of overdose Kevin: WAT

[@jimpickensisourwayoflife2126]

"Extremely large man having a heart attack" Kevin just walks away Well it wasn't Hagrid so he left😆😆

[@calebmurie3051]

It wasnt ps2 hagrid, so who cared

[@hayatobun]

5:16 the little "spit in his mouth!"

[@BaronKube]

I love the very subtle “spit in his mouth” during the One Date Later transition card

[@johnlane8053]

If you're addicted to everything, then you're addicted to nothing! And that's healthy.

[@bamtastick9141]

Well your not wrong that’s it you’re not wrong

[@sidhackney8831]

It's like shooting the moon in Hearts, once you get addicted to one thing it's best to get addicted to everything else

[@himynameismaryyy]

69th like

[@krisshaw9464]

Um what

[@DJRF001]

How much of my intelligence will I lose today?

[@turumbar427]

1:56 "Probed her nasal passage" So basically you picked her nose

[@rautamiekka]

Yeah, that was the weird thing about that scene: he as a 6yo tried to uppercut a teacher in the groin, yet somehow probed the nose ????

[@DaniAlchemilla]

@@rautamiekka yeah, he really missed the target there haha😆

[@Mr-Green0]

I think he did more than picking her nose.

[@saintazepam]

large man: has a heart attack Everything Addict: I pretend I do not see it

[@mralt5419]

ow... didn't expect that g note

[@redemptionowl3425]

fax

[@CaseyRVids]

Kevin: I wanna live in Vegas Me: *Shakes head* No you don’t.

[@anticommunist3415]

Whats wrong with vegas?

[@bu11seyeboy28]

Me: you want to the country JIM PICKENS

[@AdrianaReyes-io5zf]

@@anticommunist3415 Lots of crime, loud af, can be dirty. It’s super fun and great for visiting but not really a great place to Live. I was born and grew up there for a few years lol

[@justanamericandoggo6725]

*cries in stupid boring state*

[@autumnalburn]

I once had a nurse who grew up there. He said that he would beat up drunk tourists and steal their casino earnings.

[@megandecruz6834]

10:20 starts a rumor about "having a skull in my head" xD well done kevans

[@TailsIsDisappointed]

There's one addiction that Bitlife can never recreate for Kevin... _Among Us._

[@IamaPERSON]

*DUN DUN DUN*

[@justanamericandoggo6725]

*DUN DUN DUN*

[@lolaishotasf]

*DUN DUN DUN*

[@saulgoodmanadventures]

DUN DUN DUN

[@pinkpufferfish7007]

What I took away from this video is that if you’re depressed, turn to shoplifting

[@hdhshdhs5503]

Five finger discount rush!

[@shesustho2880]

I'm gonna write that down-

[@JhenMaster]

Funny how he went to the casino constantly but never got properly addicted, but in other goes he can get an addiction with one trip. XD

[@youngsoilder8145]

"lick her ear, that'll show her" -taken out of context

[@callmeturg]

Kevin saying Kevans by accident is such a Kevin thing to do

[@marshidden4352]

His brain just instinctively makes dad puns whenever possible.

[@mrstrealyogurl]

Hello Turg :D

[@officialblimp]

such a *kevan* thing to do

[@callmeturg]

@@marshidden4352Dad jokes are a must

[@callmeturg]

@@officialblimp Kevan

[@De_Jimberto]

"Now that's a lot of damage" *Flex tape flashback intensifies*😂😂😂

[@mitchelcaballero8560]

Clawing a classmate -> Parents divorce. It just be like that sometimes

[@TheAmaranthFlower]

To say that I love Kevin's BitLife videos would be an understatement. My entire family except me has covid and I have to stay at a hotel alone. Seeing this video genuinely made my entire week.

[@janavanbellingen8531]

Hey, how are you doing 2 years later?

[@AlmiNia]

i feckin love Kevin's Bitlife playthroughs

[@vierots]

"you were minted by a goat during yoga" (wipes tear) *unus...*

[@SmallCactus22]

Annus😔

[@ManicMama.]

"You can't get addicted to anything if you have no money" well that never stopped me unfortunately. And i actually have been addicted to damn near everything lol

[@nommerz5465]

3:22 I CANNOT believe kevin just g-noted us

[@KotaTheGreatest]

"Graduate highschool depressed" "please love me someone!" I have never related to something more in my life

[@eleanorneath530]

Kevin: **pings headphones off his head** Kevin's Smarts Bar on Bitlife: THAT'S A LOT OF DAMAGE

[@JustSamPlays]

I love how two piano keys immediately wakes my inner emo

[@WILL_DPW]

it's like a skeleton waiting to break free from flesh. Y'know?

[@Holmsteinina]

kevin: "your coworker started a rumour that you have a human skull in your head" ...well i sure hope he does

[@Coolcookiez]

He’s really embracing his addiction to things. The creativity this gorgeous man has is unbelievable 🤯

[@thejohnhopkinscompany9599]

Kevin: Loads up a game he has never played before Kevin 0.6 seconds later: 4:05

[@ericshaun343]

5:15 *If you listen closely you can hear a ghost telling you to "spit in his mouth"*

[@charliefinnmichael4770]

Its just a kinky ghost

[@oceantrash7230]

The fact that Kevin doesn't know how to pronounce oxycodone is kind of wholesome

[@NyxInfernal]

"Father time is the greatest hitman of all!" Best quote I've ever heard.

[@ms_musicarchive]

“I enjoyed that way more than the shaft!” Um, alright Kevin very cool

[@Olivia-ek9ib]

Kevin’s tired of us making fun of his Among Us addiction, so he decided to self-project on his BitLife characters.

[@kira-lilym6363]

"graduated from high school absolutely depressed" ok i just came out for a good time and i honestly feel so attacked right now

[@valhalla1469]

You ever feel like your life is that of a bitlife character being controlled by Kevin?

[@LynnAgain83]

I would've felt very called out if past me was watching this 😬

[@DaniAlchemilla]

Yes.

[@IamaPERSON]

I do

[@ValentineC137]

Impossible, Kevin’s bitlife characters do way more in a year than I do

[@Emil_Stoltz]

@@ValentineC137 Kevin's bitlife character: *literally does one thing in a whole year* Me: "Damn, he's good at what he does!"

[@smugbowkid9919]

Dude the neighbor saw his life and was like “Bro I can’t do much but I can provide you with a temporary escape from your problems.” 10/10 best neighbor.

[@ope_amine]

"Graduates from high school absolutely depressed" Hmm...checks out

[@thatplane3865]

What Kevin thinks he's addicted to: Everything What he's actually addicted to: *Among Us*

[@aethela8712]

But to Kevin, Among Us is everything 😔

[@thatplane3865]

@@aethela8712 true 🥺

[@toshidokii]

day 28 of telling kevin that he’s amazing and we love him ✨❤️

[@IamaPERSON]

:)

[@breezypoiised5586]

Shut up

[@IamaPERSON]

@@breezypoiised5586 yes you should.

[@Arthurmadhal]

I would love to see your sad ass life

[@YoutuberGrudge]

He needs to know we love him everyday~

[@samthelion3925]

"Your current life has been saved" Thank goodness. Without you, who would I watch play Big Brother the Game? No one.

[@pedrostormrage]

4:29 "I feel much more robust after getting mounted by a goat during yoga class" I wish I could link to the Unus Annus "Goat Yoga" video, but they're already gone :(

[@LizzieNya]

"Is not you, it's the asthma" Sounds like all the boys I liked back in high school and never dated me

[@rebound1340]

F

[@crylune]

good, don't reproduce, we don't need more CO2 producers on this Earth

[@charliep123]

10:13 "your co-worker started a rumor that there's human skull in your head" I hope there is Jesus what else would be in your head.

[@bigchonkerraccoon5046]

“My father argues with me about being suspended from school.” “I REPREHEND HIM”. “Your parents divorce”

[@bri5033]

I thought the thumbnail said "you are in jail and addicted to turgs" when I first saw it... then I looked at it again and thought it said "you are addicted to jail and are in drugs" I can also hear an exact replica of the skyrim background music even though I'm not playing skyrim. I should probably sleep

[@Emil_Stoltz]

Nah, man. I think you're the one who's high.

[@spideraba769]

TBF, who isn't addicted to Turg?

[@rautamiekka]

"Oxycodone is an opioid medication used for treatment of moderate to severe pain, and a common drug of abuse." Well, sounds about perfect for this playthrough LOL.

[@hollyleafwell2118]

2:54 catch me thinking I needed my glasses while wearing my glasses 🤧

[@ryanabulencia6106]

This is truly the one channel on KZbin that can make me laugh the hardest consistently at whatever he plays. Also the Irish accent is a big plus too can't forget the accent.

[@craaig9118]

"it's not you, it's the asthma" Me: "ah so that's the reason. All these years I thought it was my annoying personality"

[@uberyoutube4874]

Kevin: “yay graduated highschool, completely depressed” Me: same

[@shailaes]

finally he’s not addicted to among us today *oh wait*

[@hulksmash3429]

Is Among Us in Bitlife?

[@shailaes]

@@hulksmash3429 no i was just referencing to his ongoing among us addiction :)

[@hulksmash3429]

@@shailaes Yeah I know but I was joking about how around every corner there is the inescapable Among Us addiction

[@hulksmash3429]

@@PartyhatRS Your gonna burst into flames next time you walk into a church after saying that

[@Brigadier88]

5:16 the faint "Spit in his mouth" killed me 😂😂😂😂😂

[@aussieopal852]

It's not you, it's the asthma. Me sitting here with very bad asthma, thinking - "Oh shit what does that mean for my future."

[@micahphilson]

"Father Time is the greatest hitman of all!" That's probably the most incredible Kevin quote ever!

[@kentertainment9426]

Kevin reading his past Bitlifes like his Patreon supporters.

[@yikes7751]

1:57 "Then you probed her nasal passage" *wait* *WHAT*

[@becake1914]

I just wanted to say thank you to Kevin for a sec, you and your videos have really helped me with my mental health and you’re easily my favourite KZbinr off all time, thanks for making such great hilarious content!

[@zappawench6048]

"That's so sad, I can't afford to kill my own mother!" - that's such a Kevin thing to say!

[@nargishun6549]

1:51 Ah, My favorite way to abuse someone.

[@Dean_W1nchester.]

I stopped my daily crying to watch this.

[@Hardhatharpy]

" I wanna live in vegas" me too buddy

[@nrein89]

*10:25* Jim Pickens and Turg are in competing law firms? That would make a great movie!

[@X8xPhoenixx8X]

Dad joke of the day..... To prove he was right the "flat earther" walk to the end of the earth .... He eventually came around....

[@IamaPERSON]

One time, my dad dug a hole for me to get into. Why, you ask? Because I was grounded.

[@kubakielbasa5987]

@@IamaPERSON *ba dum ts percussion sound effect*

[@Engardian]

Kevin: *Has 15 in Blackjack* “Oh, I gotta take a hit on that one…” *Has 13 in Blackjack* “Ok, I’m gonna stand!”

[@lucisomma6766]

Kevaans... My fat went so bouncy from laughiung that that my fat fell of and I cried blood. My face was simular to this D:

[@abydos5039]

that was the most cultured reference I've ever seen. unusual

[@lucisomma6766]

@@abydos5039 thanks, I guess

[@funnyhowthingsturnout6186]

Those headphones should make a call me Kevin version, and it should include “extra pain”

[@JohnDoe-qy5eu]

We maybe watching him play bitlife but Kevin is life.

[@1thenatural1]

15:40 Kevin reads his Patreon backers

[@hart6361]

Should've put a G note warning. My life passed before my eyes.

[@WILL_DPW]

I did not consent to him waking the G spot.

[@SuperLovelessgirl]

"Spit in his mouth!" -Kevin 2020 🤣🤣

[@morgantreece8275]

Hey Kevin, I’ve been watching your content just about every day for 3 years now. You’ve helped me get through a lot and I hope you know we all appreciate you very much.

[@mat1ss347]

8:20 I’m dying 🤣 “ he just wants the attention “😂

[@FujiMast3R_2]

Kevin’s just like he’s over exaggerating 😂

[@abby5495]

All I’m addicted to is watching this wholesome man play video games

[@smashingtulips]

i was watching kevin's bitlife videos before i went into work. now that i'm out, a new video is up. i have been blessed on this day 💕

[@johndenver8434]

3:06 *For replay purposes*

[@3dynn_luvs_cereal]

There's one lesson I've learned from Kevins Bit-Life videos, and that is that you should never buy a Pirate ship .

[@toshidokii]

good thing among us isn’t in bitlife or everything addict would have one more unfortunate addiction

[@IamaPERSON]

Yep. Also, don't let the haters keep you down.

[@austinbeattie2694]

Monk locks Priest in bathroom: "HOLY WAR"

[@lisakelly2640]

This is an average day for Kevin

[@wessmoore7894]

1:51 I ended up in a Turkish prison in Bitlife as a 20-something and and I just went around doing this move to all of the other inmates. This went on until my guy was 50-something and he died of illness. So many one-hit kills.

[@Lisa-tn1py]

3:23 WHEN I WAS A YOUNG BOY, MY FATHER TOOK ME INTO THE CITY TO SEE ALL THE PEOPLE JIM PICKENS KILLED

[@GraySkill]

Good job man! I'm enjoying all the bitlife videos their pretty cool.

[@AugustusVasilikos]

So it’s gonna end up in murder, calling it

[@Thenoobestgirl]

What is a serial killer if not a murder addict?

[@morim846]

3:22 The beginning of Black Parade from My chemical romance, good choice kevin :DD

[@matthoon3737]

3:28 The average American student

[@svlanifructis7114]

Probably the funniest Bitlife episode. His entire childhood was hysterical.

[@paweleee3183]

Bitlife is planning on adding a mafia update Kevin: 👁👄👁

[@jorgegmk2848]

Your professor questions your heart. What do you do? A normal person: Kevin: SPIT IN HIS MOUTH