Lysa TerKeurst on How to Forgive What You Can't Forget

Lysa TerKeurst on How to Forgive What You Can't Forget, Overcoming Bitterness and Setting Boundaries that Make Sense for Leaders
New York Times bestselling author, Lysa TerKeurst, returns to the podcast to explore forgiveness, an issue so many leaders struggle with. Every time someone leaves, criticizes you, betrays you or otherwise harms you, how do you forgive? Should you forgive? And, how do you set boundaries that keep you and others healthy?
Welcome to The Carey Nieuwhof Leadership Podcast, a podcast all about leadership, change, and personal growth. My goal is to help you lead like never before in your church or in your business.
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[@Imabritch]

Thank you God for bringing Lisa into my life!🙏 #elevationworship

[@shollarose7158]

I am so grateful for this interview. I really needed this. I am 1.5 years post divorce, after 21 years of marriage, even though we are both Christians. I am shocked at the depth of my pain and wonder when or if it ever ends. The best part for me was where Lisa said she still cries about it now though they got reconciled. This makes me feel that, though we are healing through devastating pain by the grace of God,there is no time limit to when we forget. We are not given the gift of amnesia, so we trust the great Healer, Jesus Christ, with our memories, believing that he will give us beauty for ashes and the oil of joy instead of mourning. Thank you so much. God bless you both.

[@jonnarivers6434]

May God Bless you and ease your pain and grief off the loss and shock. In Jesus’s Almighty name Amen 🙏

[@KJ-lb4tj]

And may you also go for trauma healing. Time, in and of itself doesn't heal. As a trauma therapist, there are ways to heal past traumas and God himself says those that are mourning (or grieving) are blessed when they are comforted... That takes someone to offer the comfort... Jesus himself needed and wanted humans with him in the depths of his trauma (knowing he was about to go thru horrendous pain and humiliation).

[@BlessedBaubles]

The book, “Lord, I Want to Know You” did so much of this work by nature of learning Who He is!! He is so much more than we can think or ask or imagine. Praise God!

[@melissadykstra5921]

This is one of the best interviews I have ever heard!

[@mamiescott6961]

Excellent - many principles of wisdom to excavate, appropriate, and apply in my life.

[@mayapitoy]

Carey, you and Lisa are good Communicator.. You both are very clever delivering on point all the hidden aspect in this particular matter. This is one of the Best ‘digging point interview’ ive ever seen in my Entirely life. Very helpful.. I love how Carey reflected each point from Lisa into his life first. Thats kind of Good host we need in this world ... Love n pray n hearing from Indonesia 🇮🇩

[@carlaseier9735]

I appreciate Lysa's honesty. She's incredibly encouraging.

[@CareyNieuwhof]

Totally agree. She's so transparent.

[@tam4givin]

Maybe if she did not change her story so often I could think she is honest. 🥲🙏🏼

[@samukiletakavingofa1656]

Incredible and enlightening conversation thank you for this Lysa

[@anneliesemacedo706]

Awesome !! Right on !! Thank you Lord !!

[@ChristinSlade]

This was fantastic. Thank you both for this interview. So good.

[@xoxo-wt7dd]

Thank you so much for this. Ive had 2 years of healing and forgiving. I have moved on and met the most wonderful man. I will be retiring so we can begin our travels. Thank you God for answering our prayers and finally getting my divorce finished. It's time for real love and closing of a chapter

[@xoxo-wt7dd]

Walter Lee Bruch in the state of Michigan tried to kill his wife numerous times. He's a very dangerous person

[@xoxo-wt7dd]

Ladies Domestic Violence is very real a very dangerous person Walter Lee Bruch in Michigan is dangerous

[@sunnytang5967]

Thank you so much for this! I really needed this message today.

[@joannayeung3705]

Love it When I'm hysterical, it is historical. It is so true to me. I find myself getting triggered out of nowhere.

[@michekids]

I am very grateful for this collaborative analysis of Lisa's book. I read it before and like her, my work is ongoing and I plan to revisit this epic undertaking with her because Lysa is the kind of friend I would love to have and be in the Name of Yeshua Messiah

[@mariepeartree5018]

Excellent! Thanks so much! God bless you both!

[@waynewrz]

Great interview and such great wisdom from Lysa.

[@norinefitzgerald5259]

I have a new story to tell, God forgave me , so I forgive. He said He doesn’t remember my transgressions so why would I. This goes for the people we forgive too, I like to remember this. ❤ This I receive. ❤

[@claudinethompson4861]

Your wisdom and example of boundaries. I wish I had heard that a long long time ago

[@barbarakenney8288]

Awesome interview. Lysa is so courageous

[@wendyfarha]

THANK YOU for your honesty - both of you! Every serious believer of Christ can benefit from this interview. God bless you for your ministry, Carey....it is just so wonderfully encouraging to us. Lysa says, "When hurt sits unattended in the human heart too long, it turns into all kinds of versions of hate. That's where we get bitterness and simmering resentment and grudges & frustrations...." Absolutely true.

[@CareyNieuwhof]

Thanks so much Wendy!

[@solarhydrowind]

"You gotta trade all that for an upgrade... Do you really want to jump into that cesspool... Vicious cycle... Consequences built in!"

[@yeahright2068]

Stating those boundaries when you sound holier than though is very hurtful. You know that right?

[@lilianaorrantia8104]

How do I forgive myself? according to my children I made a lot of mistakes while I was raising them.

[@Dena77]

That's why im listening, im 53, my kids 25 and 27, my daughter said i did things wrong and she's still upset, my son n i have a great r relationship. My daughter finally opened up and said some things, i made a KZbin, private video to talk through... JUST SAYING IM SORRY... Im sure you felt very hurt when i... Im sorry i went to others to her advice for parenting (i was a single mom), i bet that made you feel like you couldn't trust me... Etc. No excuses, no reasons .. then, because it's a video, you can have a Christian friend listen to it first. You will get your chance to explain at a later time (that's what focus on the family said) I sure hope through prayer and research your relationship with your children will heal. For years I have just tried to please my daughter and do anything I can for her and we have helped her out a lot financially and with her wedding and kids... But none of that healed the relationship. We have to go back to what originally happened and start from there. I've never been in counseling but I think we're headed the right way

[@user-vl6sb7qo8l]

U right it evil vs demond killing me

[@claudinethompson4861]

Her testimony of the egg… my husband and I had that same shame script just opposite. How I wish he’d consider counseling and letting God for once have supremacy in our lives

[@user-vl6sb7qo8l]

Well my family and parents are in to God word they cotholic

[@mil.gan4mil.gan431]

One of the greatest women alive

[@tam4givin]

Greatest change her story constantly ! So maybe great story teller, but lacks honesty.

[@Just_My2Cents]

While there are some important concepts here, the essential aspect of humility is missing. Only when we begin to acknowledge the depth of our OWN sin and how Jesus suffered and died because of it can we forgive others.

[@user-vl6sb7qo8l]

Way I'm was block to world to get help from this evil people they block me no food shot my power living in dork infrshing out there for two years people it's evil wat my family and parents did to me it sad 😭

[@user-vl6sb7qo8l]

I was seround with lot of drown every day in my house I can't stay in m my house they use keabd for to me and ter moil to do this job

[@user-vl6sb7qo8l]

I don't new way they tech me to do this to world it's not right thing to do that

[@user-vl6sb7qo8l]

I'm same to face people they all ready new my world wat is going on there pully ought at me no I'm not going to public to face them and what?😡

[@user-vl6sb7qo8l]

Bad family and parents 😭

[@BlessedBaubles]

Oh my!! The egg? I suffered a surgery with failed anesthesia, but on top of that the unlicensed anesthesiologist gave me the wrong anesthesia, ketamine!! Regardless of the cause, I saw flashing milliseconds of every second I’ve ever lived, breathed, saw, tasted! AND the enemy took these billions of flashings of my entire life and used them to exploit only 2 things… my effectiveness for Jesus, (ministry gifts etc) and every point of abuse and shame, and laughed at both. Let me at least say that in all of that, and there is SO much more that was going on, I KNEW that Jesus was coming for me and would hold me forever. But in the now, and dealing with the PTSD from current trauma, what would I do with this egg illustration? It’s too huge!! Thank you if there is anyone reading this and can direct me. Thank you.

[@user-vl6sb7qo8l]

Yes my drug and my evil in me driving me bud person is going to stay and I go to forward for my future I wat it not go bock word use drug I don't won't it for my future it's evil to me i use it killing me I didn't ask for this drug it's was my family and parents in sex school did it to me live me stay with drug out there for long time , ten years homeless is long time people it's sad wen I tolk to my own story 😭

[@user-vl6sb7qo8l]

Nobody can hear me or believe me gods they don't see it new they pully and lounge at my world it's not good for my cultureal in public if I'm going out it's killing me

[@tam4givin]

Lysa is still changing her story all the time! I have seen her go from what seemed to be a sweet humble speaker to totally ruining a good ministry. And constantly changing the story always, blaming her x husband, and never confessing and repenting shifted the way I perceive her. She has several times said her husband was a addict and cheater for years, yet she abandoned him to travel all around the world! Then publicly told the whole world he was a addict and cheater, then divorced him. And abandoned, left her children with him for years to travel around the world making money. Now she is making money with books. Broken off bone that needs to be buried? 🧐Seriously? She got her revenge publicly smearing her x husband and now says forgiveness is better! I really wonder if she is a narcissist. I hope not, her family has already suffered enough. She said people trigger her, always blames it on other people. Maybe that is why she does not confess and repent, she is never at fault. She bashed her x publicly but tells other people to not do that?🧐 She is always putting her pain out there as the victim. She has shared many details in interviews that should not have been shared publicly!

[@michellepribula7349]

Until you have walked in her shoes, married to an addict who is unfaithful, gaslights, compulsive lying. All trust is lost in the person who is supposed to have your back. This is traumatizing and the repetitive lying and betrayal turns it into CPTSD.

[@tam4givin]

@@michellepribula7349 I have walked in those shoes! I was wise enough not to abandon my children with him and travel around the world neglecting and abusing children and ruin a good ministry. I do not go on social media and radio programs changing the story all the time.

[@sharonannc.3079]

I wonder how Sarah had any help emotionally after her husband put her under the bus !! All this analyzing ..........wondering......just keeps the fires fueled!!

[@tam4givin]

And Lysa constantly changing her story impacts it .

[@claudinethompson4861]

Forgiveness isn’t based on my determination but on my cooperation. When it flows TO me it can then flow THRU me.🩸🕊