i'm really not okay.

[@ZoeHammer]

"Why am I getting so emotional, nothing has happened." This describes me so much...

[@andreatoro2182]

Zoe Delane Same...😪😓

[@toylo9567]

because shes talking about her feelings + problems the comes up to the surface at random times. thats why it happens

[@amparomonterosso6344]

Zoe Delane same

[@Audrey-tu7xk]

same

[@porkchop8805]

Go with the emotions and alow your self to feel them

[@erikaogilvie5106]

I know this was 2 years ago but we love you

[@aamina_579]

Ik same ♥

[@amberjay5941]

I have literally just uploaded a video about me not being okay and it’s the hardest thing I’ve done. We all need one another❤️. m.kzbin.info/www/bejne/rWmblp9_epeEqcU

[@ohmymatchamia]

Yeah

[@thinkyazzy6708]

I know right

[@alaynarafique]

I know we love you taz

[@noreen309]

i always come back to this when i’m sad. 2020 anyone?

[@lieselonijn6396]

Same

[@jimkacha1048]

Same even tho il just 9 years old.. . ..

[@zfox4743]

@@jimkacha1048 are you okay?

[@jamiemcshane8267]

Same

[@lauralizzied8985]

Yup.

[@ClickForTaz]

I was so terrified about posting this video that I made it live and then didn't look at my phone for a couple of hours. I don't know what I was expecting but it wasn't this, I'm genuinely overwhelmed by the amount of love I've received in the comments, I'm literally bawling my eyes out right now. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for being the most kind, open minded, loving online community - I cannot tell you how much it means to me.

[@letsbehonest935]

ClickForTaz If I were to be honest, I do not know how your feeling and I wish I did, so that I could understand your situation. But it is what it is and I just wanted it say that you will get through this and do not let this event bring you down because you have tomorrow. And indeed it will be a better day.

[@Sariita_x]

ClickForTaz Can I just say, I just clicked on this video and I haven't watched more then a minute of this and I would love to say some things. Firstly your incredibly beautiful and this is honesty , you have beautiful beautiful features and your heart just pours out event more beauty within !! I've been having many trouble months where I feel lost and I came across one of your videos and can I say it was overwhelmingly amazing and I couldn't stop watching your content ever since !!! It's such a life changer for me and I don't care what anyone says, your videos are pure honest and so open and I thank you ever soooo much for allowing me to see this because this must be soo hard to post. Because of you I have grown this massive interest in spoken word poetry , something I have never thought I could possible do. I have written some of my own and your work has been such a good influence for me and seeing you do this has helped me soooooo much I can't even begin to explain !!! I will hopefully begin to get my work filmed and then have my own page. Honestly please keep doing what you love and if it's this please don't stop you have helped me in soo many ways I love and love all of your videos and you should be ever sooo proud !! Your an amazing person and I thank you sooo much !!!!

[@mohsin829]

ClickForTaz I tell you what, I absolutely feel you, See I'm not a social person. I thought starting work would built me into a confident person. Still with 1 years experience, I still have that anxiety. never goes aways. Always looking down, avoiding eye contact. Eating lunch by myself in my car. I know it's easy to say think positive. Fact is Life is tough. I like to spread happiness at work because I know how it feels unwanted. Each person goes through different individual storms. Look at the amount of likes you have on this video, we relate to our own life that we not alone. Always be greatful what you have and going through. Find something to let all your stress and depression out. Everyday I go to gym not to look good but to let my stress out.You should find your Positive Stress reliever. It helps allot

[@Sillyman-wh]

ClickForTaz Its ok taz we all love you theres no need to be so scared we will always be here for you When you cry for some reason it makes me cry😂

[@caitlinwilliams9730]

Your videos have helped so much. Just to know that there are other people out there. And yes, it sucks but thank you ❤️

[@mayasirine6219]

one moment i'm really ok, a moment later my brain switches off and i just want to pause everything, it's hard to be myself around people who have no idea about depression so i just fake a smile

[@hello-oo8gf]

Maya Sirine your not alone I feel the same

[@gabii6037]

Maya Sirine that's exactly how I feel

[@theresafloresca1509]

Maya Sirine u can cry at home feel better and just go out and fake a smile to people lol.

[@jessie8517]

Maya Sirine that last sentence... Me

[@parriesha17]

I'm literally 12 and I feel the same....its so bad I feel like crying so much but I just can't let out my feelings....😭😞😞😢 I'm still waiting for the day when this fake smile will go off and I'll actually be happy... I have a really long story about how this all happened to me and its really emotional too. I just can't...

[@michellesosin]

I’m not crying my eyes are just pretending to be fountains..yeah

[@Henry-xe8gs]

Michi ._. That’s right

[@madipotter9590]

Michi ._. Yeah they do tend to do that sometimes

[@crazy-british-chick9591]

I have never found a creator that I relate to more than I do you. I know that you uploaded this video a few months ago, but it's exactly how I feel right now. Thank you Taz. Thank you for creating, for speaking up, for uploading this. Thank you so bloody much.

[@aaliyahsantos9871]

^^

[@shaniadurbin]

Crazy-British-chick yes I agree

[@Yamarashi-uy1ug]

I agree so much

[@ozmegee18]

Same with me

[@anna-ln5qf]

i know right

[@MsArina01]

It's really sad how much I relate... I'm in exact same situation.. nothing is wrong, life is good, no actual problems... but I just feel like shit. Don't wanna go anywhere, don't wanna do anything, don't want anyone to see me... just feel this.. darkness inside of me, this really low feeling, constantly on a verge of tears. Sinking feeling. Just woke up with it one day. Like you said, it's like a switch was switched in my head one night.. I wanna hide from the world, stop life and just stay in bed. FOR NO REASON. NOBODY UNDERSTANDS. I feel like I'm making it all up coz everyone says it. This state lasted for two months.. I think I'm getting out of it now, thank God.

[@MsArina01]

you are SO brave for sharing this! I can never talk about this state, coz there is so many mean things people say in response.. thank you, for making me feel a little saner, coz I know I'm not the only one.

[@jennithefoodqueen2402]

Amber Pen I'm not saying this to sound cliché but I felt it before

[@lubnahojeij5539]

Amber Pen y

[@xrajagamer3520]

Omg!! Same!!!!!

[@bubu.D.28]

Same..

[@Sophia-fc5mu]

Even though this was three yrs ago I’m still saying don’t cry tazzy

[@jimkacha1048]

So cuteee eeeekkkk

[@ellie4964]

's w e e 't ✨💞

[@suhanahussajn1378]

Why is she crying when nothing sad has happened?

[@spaghettisundae2650]

@@suhanahussajn1378 do you even know anything about her to assume that nothing happened even though she hadn't been in a problem doesn't mean she can't feel low without reasons depression doesn't come when you want it to it doesn't wait for no one its not crazy you wouldn't understand wtf I was so happy reading all these supportive comments and I come across you saying she's crying for no fucking reason what are you thinking don't even dare assume something so utterly stupid

[@beab3008]

* sending a virtual hug *

[@charlottelifestruggles8552]

omg when she started to tear up 15 seconds into the video i did because i see myself so much in here 😫

[@Olivia-gm8yv]

Charlotte life struggles same

[@lyonellevlogs]

Charlotte life struggles me aswell 😭

[@sayraperez5434]

I know this was 2 years ago but I’m literally going through the same thing atm :(

[@melanieaidee5046]

Sayra Perez me too

[@sayraperez5434]

melanie aidee I honestly hope you feel better 💘

[@grace5806]

Same here, but you get through what you are going through 💛💛💛

[@sayraperez5434]

Franziska Seifert It really means a lot 💘

[@sayraperez5434]

Grace Hazelle love all this support 💛💘 thank you!!!

[@emmakovalchick7971]

I wish I was as pretty as you, you are gorgeous

[@nanu1793]

Well, everyone can have a pretty soul 😉

[@rayanetc]

I don't know if this is a coincidence but I have the exact same problem. Like the exact same problem. It actually does feel like a switch in my behaviour and my brain. I've been extremely depressed, excessively sleeping and excessively eating.

[@lailaprice8791]

Queen Rayani same like the exact same

[@botap8571]

Jupp, me too, totally understand

[@jeannemoreaux7582]

Queen Rayani i know your feeling and im on a helptrip now cause today i got the consent of the psychiatry and this makes me confident: take your time but if you feel like you've got the right moment then get help thats totally legal and can give you so much! ican listen too im good at listening but i can only listen and thats the point of a lot of people which would like to help you... we can only listen and tell you nice things

[@justanotherpersonxo]

same here

[@rayanetc]

Saskia Prinz thank you so much

[@haleymakenna9293]

I always come back to this. It’s just comforting to know you’re not alone.

[@kiileetsoku2397]

Definitely

[@natalielucie]

Sweet lovely Taz. So sad to see you feeling like this but so brave to share so honestly. You're not crazy, you're not alone and you're not back at square one. (Promise). What you probably are is a Highly Sensitive Person (google it - its real). You absorb so much and feel so much and it's exhausting you. You want to turn what you absorb and feel into meaningful, beautiful art because that feels so real - sometimes creating is the only tangible real thing - and its healing and life affirming and cathartic. But it's also draining and exhausting and depletes us SO much. You're super special, you give so much of yourself and you are SO brave. And yes a perfectionist and yes hard on yourself but they go hand in hand. Truly creative deep souls always suffer the most because you feel so much. You see what's wrong in the world, you want to fix things and help and you can't. So you create beauty and art but that takes from you too. All creative geniuses battle mental health issues, because it's a level of thinking and seeing that takes you to amazing highs and terrifying lows. It's experiencing the world in a more intense way than other people do, and it's super hard to explain unless you're feeling it too. I'm only learning this now and I think I'm a good 10 years older than you, you have no idea how far ahead you are from other people your age. You're allowed to have breaks from everything, breaks from the Internet, from nights out, from friends even, to recover and ground yourself. Your joy will come back. Do whatever next step sounds good/fun/easy and suddenly in a day or two you'll realise you aren't feeling so sad. Take care lovely girl xx

[@ClickForTaz]

Wow you explained things so beautifully. xx

[@george_aydin]

Natalie Lucie I think I've got a very similar thing because I am still depressed but that aside I think I have the highly sensitive feelings

[@thisdudesam4332]

Natalie Lucie ❤

[@natalielucie]

George Aydin learning about highly sensitive people changed my life. It's a blessing and can be a curse if we aren't able to care for ourselves. Really worth reading up on it. And Taz, I've written two spoken word poems because of you! Not yet recorded them (too scared) but that's why people saying you're inspiring, you set an example and take people to a level they feel safe to share their experiences and feelings and thoughts. In a world that can be so phoney you are so real and THAT is a real gift to the world. Hope today is a better day xxx

[@chaimaec9835]

I was about to tell her that maybe she's a highly sensitive person because i've read too much about this temperament these last few weeks , and I can tell you that nothing can help you better than understanding how your brain and body work stay positive you're unique ❤

[@OxTheThird33]

Idk why I'm like this, maybe it's a part my depression but it's like when I see someone like you going through this as well it's like your pain becomes my own.

[@thisdudesam4332]

OxThe3rd ❤

[@Diimondc]

OxThe3rd it means you're an empathetic person, you can feel others pain as if it were your own and its really beautiful quality ❤

[@Diimondc]

OxThe3rd it means you're an empathetic person, you can feel others pain as if it were your own and its really beautiful quality ❤

[@OxTheThird33]

Sunshine rose Girl I stay thinking these things, I never had anyone tell me these things other than me thinking them. That was probably the most kindest and understanding comment or reply I'd ever gotten.

[@shea8224]

OxThe3rd this happens to me too

[@animalaur2679]

Hey Taz, I’m not sure if you’ll see this comment because I understand that you’re super busy and you filmed this quite a while ago. But I wanted to say thank you. I think this was so incredibly brave and I admire you so much. I know that receiving compliments is difficult, but you deserve them so much for being genuine, honest and kind. I struggle with my Mental Health and watching your videos has been a huge help for me when I’ve been feeling low. You’ve helped so many people, but I need you to remember that it’s equally as important to focus on yourself, your happiness and your wellbeing. Please don’t feel as though you ever have to put on a brave front for anybody. You deserve so much happiness and support. I hope you’re doing better now. You’re so much stronger than you believe. I’ve watched your recent videos, but it’s hard to tell just from social media whether somebody is okay or whether they aren’t. So keep being strong and give yourself the love you deserve. I’m rooting for you always💛

[@sakhembuyisa]

So much love for Taz! 💜

[@Snump_Tv]

Stop making everything about you

[@artisthusnatalal3099]

@@Snump_Tv bwaaahhhaaahha! 😂

[@oh-ohstinky5819]

Emily Smith what is wrong with you? :D

[@monkeyd.shanks5266]

@@Snump_Tv Shut the fuck up.

[@thandekathemba3952]

Stay strong girl. Don't ever stop fighting x

[@clod3938]

I have never related to something so much

[@carlyclementine272]

What makes a good role model: being honest. Showing your pain and suffering. Not pretending. You’re honestly one of the best role models out there right now. So don’t pull yourself down

[@hannahthurlow7507]

I'm not either, it sucks. I know. And somehow seeing you cry makes me feel some sense of comfort. I sound terrible, but I feel as if I'm not alone. You're not alone, I'm feeling what you are. You can do this. I feel the same as you

[@floralspectre]

Hannah Thurlow I hope you'll be okay again soon 💕✨

[@delirious.d]

You are unbelievably beautiful. I hate that you feel this way :(

[@katybiller1095]

Dylan Brown I know right I hate seeing people sad

[@immyorchid9042]

It’s fine It’s fine It’s fine It’s not fine I love you💕 cheer up😘💖

[@bethrushbrook]

Immy Orchid I don’t think cheer up helps

[@huyamu6062]

It's a mental disorders you can't just"cheer up"

[@Jaime-Grace]

It's so hard to just "cheer up" not ranting just saying... I'm going through a hard time right now and I just need to say that it's not essential to just "cheer up" :( thanks for supporting tazzy though I think she appreciates it so much :)

[@dellaluvmusic]

I just discovered your channel few days ago and here I am digging up your older videos. You're a beautiful human being.Thanks for sharing your honest beautiful self with us! Lots of love

[@doniamajri9037]

Della same

[@agu4071]

the same here. year later ❤

[@amberjay5941]

deall I have literally just uploaded a video about me not being okay and it’s the hardest thing I’ve done. We all need one another❤️. m.kzbin.info/www/bejne/rWmblp9_epeEqcU

[@michelledorien4443]

Girl, listen. You show yourself in front of the camera, just as you are. You're showing us how you feel. I'm going through exactly the same. And it's okay, just like you said. "This is how you feel sometimes." Depression is real. Depression can hit you at your best, at your worst; anytime. You are beautiful. Depression does not define you.

[@bangrufu5571]

How can u look soo pretty crying? 💞💜❤️💗💕💖💕💞

[@gamingwithaeileen4267]

I know right

[@TownHeroine]

Hi Taz, Before I type anything else, I just want to let you know that as I'm typing this, I'm not typing this as a person who has no idea how it feels to go through what you're going through ie. feeling how you're currently feeling. Yes, you're right that there is nothing that anyone can really say to make things better. It's even harder to reach you because you're currently going through your 'episode' as you call it, rather than being on the other side. (I've noticed that I find it difficult to listen to whoever is on the other side which is why I'm mentioning this.) You're the only one that can make things better. I want to let you know that you're not alone, and that first of all, the accomplishment of sharing your thoughts and having this channel is a blessing to so many people, but especially to yourself... because YOU can see your progress, and your ups and downs. You get to watch yourself living in that happy space that may seem so far away, and you get to tell yourself that that space is possible again, because you did it before. It's true, it's possible again. On my journey through battling with my 'episodes', I have noticed a few things. As much as I don't like to state the obvious, sometimes I like to check if it's my hormones causing me to feel the way I do (because of my time of the month, or a particular food or type of food I've been eating etc). In those cases, I have to ask my outer self to be patient with my inner self. When it's not something like what I mentioned above, try to remind yourself that you're just going through something, and to hang on. Because you can pull through it. When you have the energy or the mindset to help yourself (even for the tiniest second), lift yourself up as loud and as high as you can. Keep doing that in short bursts so that the inner you knows that the outer you is alive. I hope this helps you, and if it does, even a little bit, consider reading it again.

[@ClickForTaz]

thank you

[@crystaldianegreen927]

ClickForTaz I have been feeling this way since I was 7 years old. I overdosed in April last year because I always said it will help. And now, im always feeling pain and hurt and sad. I can be fine one day, but... then the next day nothing will happen but I will feel real sad like how you are now. Please know im here for you and that I love you. And 2 years ago I went through anorexia and bulimia.... but I got through it. Ik someone cannot change your mind with words. only you can. I believe in you.

[@100Abi]

ClickForTaz we love you . You inspire a lot of people through your poetry . we are all in this together😙😙

[@100Abi]

TownHeroine That's deep.. really motivational

[@carynweaver82]

TownHeroine that was really great I loved it!

[@zacharycrank6606]

Mental illness isn't always something that is understandable. It is something that I believe we will continually learn more about, but with so many variables and the large amount of people that do live with these illnesses, depression being one of them, I don't think we'll fully understand them completely, but that doesn't mean we're destined for a life of depression. Something that is currently being realized is that relapse in drug addiction helps. Does this mean it is encouraged? No, but it is seen as a means of realizing the things that will trigger a relapse and/or how to address the relapse when it happens. It's similar with mental health. When we "relapse", so to speak, we learn better how to cope. We learn what got us through it the last time, so we apply that, and then we learn new things during the process. The entire process isn't easy, it's not fun, and it can feel like pure hell, but it is a process that helps you grow, that builds your endurance. Another metaphor here, a very cliche one at that, is that when a muscle tears, that muscle grows back stronger. When you feel like you're tearing apart, like everything is crumbling, those "muscles" are tearing, but the thing is those "muscles" grow back. Essentially, what I'm saying is that as much as you feel like you may have started back at square one, you haven't. I'm currently going through an episode myself, and I know it can be so flipping hard to read and actually internalize instead of read and think "That won't work", "That doesn't apply to me", "I'm beyond help, I'm beyond pushing through". When it comes to being motivating, you have to realize that you're human. If we only saw the times where you felt "good enough", the times you felt strong, the times you weren't depressed or battling, we wouldn't see attainability. We wouldn't see motivation. We would see a level of life that we feel we couldn't attain. You don't have to be perfect. You don't have to feel "good enough", because you are good enough. When you're depressed, you're good enough. When you're sad, you're good enough, when you feel you can't get out of bed and when you feel like the biggest screw up, you're good enough, because you're imperfect, and that means you don't always have to feel okay, but that doesn't mean you have failed because you don't. These comments show how much of an impact you have made, and still make, on all who have come in contact with you, despite that "not good enough" feeling. You don't have to be perfect to give advice. You don't have to be perfect to point someone to help. You don't have to be perfect to post these videos. You don't have to be anything other than what you want to be. You are beautiful. You are motivating. You are inspiring. You are the reason I have been able to get out of bed somedays, and on other days, the reason I haven't pulled the trigger. You are beyond special and a gift to this world. We love you

[@thisdudesam4332]

Zachary Crank ❤

[@xSl33pyH3adx]

Zachary Crank Absolutely Loved every bit of this. Mental illness is a disease and should be addressed as such. But since it's too difficult to understand completely, many people will label those that suffer from mental illness “crazy." This can cause us to feel alone or singled out, further escalating the negative thoughts and emotions. But we are not alone and there are others that feel just like we do. We have our flaws just like everyone else. And the people that are still alive battling mental illness are definitely strong even though it might not seem like it. Having to wake up not knowing when your next “episode" will be is a huge weight on one's shoulders, and when the actual episode itself does come, it feels awful. And you might not know why you feel the way you do; you just do. You might see a light at the end of the tunnel, but you don't know when you'll get out. You don't know how much longer it'll be. But we have to keep pushing forward. That includes you. I don't know what goes on in your life but there are people that care about you. I might not know you but you've already made an impact on my life whether you see it or not. So now you mean that much more to me. Please don't talk about pulling triggers because you are very valuable. If you had gone through with it before, I would've never seen this message. So, thank you :)

[@pigeonentrails2837]

2024 and I still come back for the comfort this video brings in my darkest times. Thank you from the bottom of my heart Taz

[@ТатьянаПласти]

you are so brave. i really wish you all the best. stay strong

[@peepeepoopoo2944]

Beautiful person, take all the time you need to feel ok again. We're all here for you!

[@SACH316-f5c]

❤️❤️

[@rayzerkill3189]

I started spiralling into my depression around the time this was uploaded and this used to be the only thing that made me feel understood. Seeing her growth over the years, dude I'm just so happy. I'm happier too. 💜💜

[@nicole18531]

I've had depression for years. I understand what it's like. It will get better, you just got to find a distraction and let it pass. Sometimes depression just hits you like a rogue wave and you feel swept under and stuck but you'll get out of it eventually. It will be okay. You are good enough, if you need time to figure things out and get better, please take it. You are a beautiful person and I hope you feel better hun

[@catalinap6645]

I'm 11 I feel exactly like you do.. I cry every night but I don't want to stress out my mom and dad because I can't see a therapist or anything because it's too much money. They have always called me their 'happy girl', but the thing is, I'm not. I'm sorry you feel like this too, I wish it would just stop.

[@sheawhite9451]

Catalina Pollock is it possible for your insurance to pay

[@catalinap6645]

Shea White I don't know.. probably not but anyway I don't want to tell my parents

[@inconspicuouscrab3355]

Catalina Pollock I'm here for you if you need to talk to someone

[@zacharycrank6606]

There are often places that offer a "sliding scale" fee that works with an individual or an individuals family's income. If you feel like you can't bring this up with your parents, which I completely understand, I didn't bring it up with mine until I had no other choice, because someone at school saw my cuts. I'm twenty now, and I still struggle, this battle is still one that I haven't been able to stop, but there are better moments. There is laughter, true sincere laughter. There are smiles. There are better times. I'm here if you need to talk!

[@thisdudesam4332]

Catalina Pollock ❤

[@natdemarchuk2315]

I’m going through something similar right now. And this was posted 4 years ago. Past and present Taz, I’m here for you, we’re here for you. Thank you for this and I love you millions xxx

[@sarahrobinson3413]

youre not back to square 1, trust me,it might feel like this, but you were at square 1 ages and ages ago...then square 2...now its square 3...and when youre over this...square 4. you might feel like this again, you might not. but no matter how many times you go through it, each time you do..youll sub consiously be stronger each time (as clishe as that sounds). 💕

[@thotieprincess7190]

twentyonesadpilots THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS I REALLY NEEDED THIS

[@maureenbenko9168]

twentyonesadpilots i love your username! 💓

[@maureenbenko9168]

Thotie Princess YOUR PROFILE PICTURE

[@LifeLikeI]

Your turmoil makes me feel like I'm not alone. 💜 I understand you completely.

[@MJH181088]

Hi Taz, My first comment ever on a video on KZbin but I can't help myself but reply to this. Just posting this in the mindset you have is extremely courageous. You are such a strong woman for daring to do this. Showing exactly who you are and where you are at: that is what makes you such a role model for everyone. You don't need to feel the pressure of being someone you are not. You are you, and looking at the comments that is all you need to be. I know you know this: all feelings pass. And for every step out of your comfort zone you have taken a few minutes to energize yourself. What helps me is to know that I need just 30 seconds of extreme bravery to start something new, and everything I hate doing (or know I can do but am scared of) I can do for 15 minutes. So you know you can get through the next 15 minutes no matter what, and repeat that till the worst of the worst passes. You will be okay. You will get there again. Just hang on you strong woman. Take care. I've been there too......

[@jazmingarroch6716]

its okay let it all out ❤️ i love you.

[@hamedthqafi9514]

Jazzy Amber hi

[@brittanystafford7315]

Jazzy Amber Agreed.

[@FullMetalcoreJojo]

I don't know who you are. I've never seen a video of yours. I don't know why it was recommended, but I felt so drawn to it. I'm glad I clicked. Sounds scarily much like what I once endured... It was a rocky an unpredictable road but here I am and it hasn't occurred in the longest time! I found it was key to pay attention to my self conversation and changed my diet, it changed a lot for me. You'll make it. You will beat this cloud. Just know that we are all here to support you. We all love you so very much (even though this is the first I've seen of you - will subscribe!). Never lose hope. There is always someone, something that cares a whole lot and the one who should always love you the most is yourself. Keep on smiling! :* :)

[@mittyahmed7362]

InshahAllah, you'll get better

[@mittyahmed7362]

@@saraikram6670 doesn't matter, still wishing good upon all

[@deadbubble5661]

@@mittyahmed7362 true

[@adistylarasaty7513]

Aamiin

[@amnaibad4699]

ameen

[@Granxte]

Ameen

[@eden3537]

I want to be here for you. I wish I could talk to someone like you about this. I want to try and help you and I wish so bad that I could. I don't know.. I just want you to be happy because I almost feel like you are.. a friend. I relate to what you are saying and I want to comfort you, but I'm on the other side of the screen, a stranger on the other side of the world and I can't do nothing. But I want you to know that we love you through all of this. All of us!

[@poetikalyanointed_lionofju3019]

Elsa Svensson I concur! I feel so connected to Taz for all sorts of reasons. I too suffer from Depression and it's totally like she described here. It's a Giant monster that just wants to control you in every way and it's a Huge struggle sometimes to realize you're better than that. I cry A lot too, especially when I'm down. I'm sending love and prayers to ALL who suffer from mental illnesses and to those who love and support them. It has to get better because this life is not meant for us to struggle and be sad like this. Hold on Taz!! You're Not alone!

[@eden3537]

I'm just.. so happy that I'm not alone in this

[@poetikalyanointed_lionofju3019]

Elsa Svensson It's cool, we're here to learn from each other. I'd like to invite you to check out my channel. I haven't tackled Depression yet with my videos but maybe I Should.

[@thisdudesam4332]

Elsa Svensson ❤

[@shaangeingos6645]

Elsa Svensson true

[@Emary01]

Today i had the exact same switch in my brain In the morning i was productive and happy and my life went well But in the afternoon, i dont know Why, but i suddenly just felt bad My self confidence is gone I feel like i cant have anything done I just think I am Not good enough I feel so weak Text me on instagram dm ✨ Emilia.mariee

[@ihatepeople0089]

emmi eichinger do you think this is a kind of depression?

[@ihatepeople0089]

I get it im greek so yeah I feel like that sometimes too but a friend of mine told me that its just hormones and teenage period but i don't really know what's happening

[@Emary01]

Basika Loren yeah but i think it can ne true I also read something like this before Do You have instagram? Maybe we can write in dm?✨

[@ihatepeople0089]

emmi eichinger of course dm me @adelina_mpr

[@heyitsmaiaxx2293]

emmi eichinger same

[@farahkhan9794]

KZbin recommending this to me 2 years later 🤔

[@farahkhan9794]

I need to say I LOVE YOU THOUGH we all DO even if it was 2 years ago, mental health is unpredictable

[@shezaali1985]

Agreeeeee

[@tiarajessy9491]

Samee

[@luthfiakutibin3420]

For me its 3 years later

[@iidabs]

It's almost funny how the depressed mind works: everything is fine and dandy for a while but then one morning you wake up and feel like nothing matters anymore, your life has lost it's purpose and your self-esteem is nowhere to be found. The worst part is when people try to tell you that there is nothing in your life to be sad about, how fortunate you are to have the life you have. Guilt. That's what I often feel when I'm sad for no good reason. But sadness is equal, doesn't matter how fortunate you are. Taz you are not my rolemodel, but thanks to you I don't feel crazy anymore. To know that others have exact same feelings as I do brings me so much comfort. You might feel like sinking now, but you will reach the surface again. Remember that you have been in this place before, yet survived. It may take a while, but one day you will see a shimmer of light again. It might seem like a distant dream at the moment, but just know that this will pass. Someone wise once said that in order to see the light we must travel in the darkness sometimes. P.S it's okay to cry for no reason, I mean I do it all the time.

[@thisdudesam4332]

Iida Kulmala ❤

[@roderigosan]

Unspoken Thoughts uhuh

[@roderigosan]

Iida Kulmala !!

[@sarahrathbun944]

I can just see in her eyes the hurt and pain that she has and it's so sick that a wonderful & innocent person has to go through this, i can't even put it in words what i feel for her and I barely know anything about her and i it hurts to see someone in this type of position, i just hope she knows i am praying for her and the lord loves you and will always be with you no matter what.

[@madhurig5571]

2 Years later, right this second, this is me. 2019 flew by in a flash

[@awais6716]

I hope you're doing well

[@DanielasVideoDiary]

I'm sorry you're feeling this way, I really hope everything gets better ❤️

[@laurathexp1ora]

I had the same feeling.. i knew it wasn't just sad, it was depression. Listening to someone share the same thing is just wonderful.. to know that you're not alone

[@shankalahe1733]

Taz you are a strong independent woman like you are bomb at your job as a role model! we all love you xx I personally have mental issues and am suffering from depression after i lost my mum, a long time ago. Your videos brighten my day and if you want to cry, you have 1.39M peoples shoulders to cry on, one being mine. I love you taz, as all of us do! Continue making these bomb asf videos, and take any breaks you need! We will always be here for you tazzy bear ❤ Stay safe tazzy, we all love you, From me (Shan) Your No1 biggest fan, on behalf of all your subscribers and veiwers thank you for giving us an insight on your life and mental status, we love you even more for this! Its fine taz, its fine, its fine.

[@naomiesther4260]

Role models are not perfect, sometimes they are so flawed and real that it makes them inspirational. honestly I have soooo much more respect for you after watching this, idk why but you really are amazing, no strings attached, no expectations you are just amazing.

[@vickykob]

girl you are explaining everything I feel. I've been like that too lately

[@ghadaha7859]

I'm girl from Saudi Arabia and I want to say that don't be sad and if you felt that think positive for example, say that to ur self ( it will pass and only a few days then sure something good will happen and make me happy it will work with you ) I hope you become happy whole the time By the way, you're very pretty and you have a nice, cute face) at the end, excuse my language it's not my mother language but I really try my best. Good luck.

[@hawkpeterson]

You don’t sound crazy. This is so much more normal to my head that someone talking about how happy they are. I know this wouldn’t change anything on your end, but you’ve changed things for me. Thank you.

[@drgamerstat66]

I am going through the same....at the moment..."the sad sinking feeling that weighs you down and eats you away from inside the whole day"...it is way too relatable..I want to run far away from myself,coz this is awful and scary

[@sarahebrahem7162]

I know what you mean ,it's so hard to explain our feelings or to understand them ourselves, especially when that day when your depression hits you hard and you feel just frustrated ,sad and conflicted about the whole think and you can't even get yourself to feel better ,you try to change but it's not working ,you hate yourself for not being good enough , you hate yourself for your childhood your teenage years and the you now because they didn't achieve anything you assume to be commandable ,you keep mourning what could have been if you were a little different , it is just so complicated to explain there's many areas of everything to be aware of. it's just the worst feeling ever.

[@oy59]

Me too girl, me too :( I'm 23 and feel so mentally unstable

[@gisellepleitez4637]

this breaks my heart so much and i just want to give you a hug because i know exactly how you feel.

[@sham3199]

Even in the hardest times, she turns to the camera for us

[@ashleyfredricksen4939]

but like, this is more inspirational than ever. because it's raw.

[@nkemani8372]

Ashley Fredricksen mate she said she doesn't like it. your intentions are pure but I doubt your helping.

[@ashleyfredricksen4939]

Nikki Ani yes, thank you for putting in your input. I put what I felt about the video, and my intention was not to help. I was just expressing my opinion, and I am glad that you could see it and and counter it

[@hidinginmyroom2656]

I know how you feel too well I hope you'll be okay x

[@sukmidik1051]

Oh shit. She’s the girl i hear in all those sad multifandoms, wasn’t expecting that

[@nouamsadji3427]

I know that feeling and it's horrible, I hated myself so much one day (like way more than usual) and I almost killed myself. But my life was good though, I still don't know why I felt that way, and I still do. When I look at myself in a mirror, most of the time, I cry. I support you. We all do and I think you're really brave to do what you're doing. And I know it's hard, I know that may be you're thinking about ending your life but, you're gonna get through this eventually. I believe in you, and you deserve to live. Even though it's harsh, even though most of the days you feel horrible or useless, don't give up ❤

[@ani_0007]

Taz if you're reading this, and please read this and understand when I say, get off KZbin. Do not feel as if you're obliged to make videos and that it has become a burden for you. You should not feel the pressure of responsibility of having to prove yourself to others. You may feel like you have expectations to meet and standards to uphold bc you're a role model but that's because you're being yourself not because you've put up an act. This is not supposed to be a weight on your shoulders, KZbin is a leisure and a hobby, you should enjoy it and not feel like it's burdensome. I know this depressive feeling, it's a very dull heartache that never goes away. And it strikes you at anytime. It's v hard to explain and only you will understand it. Inner peace is what we're all striving for. Take out some time for yourself, as being happy is a struggle in life -it's never easy. It's repressed feelings, confusion mixed with guilt, regret, loneliness and so many other factors. What you're feeling is valid and you're not alone. Sometimes I feel prayer gives me some ease of mind- and I am not a religious person myself. You're a strong individual - you'll find the answer. Maybe not anytime soon, but you will get there. This is one stranger to another- I wish you all the best, I have faith in you and take all the time you need.

[@justcoco2970]

The part where she said she was doing really really good n overnight she felt sad,,, I felt it

[@sarahjanechandler]

I relate ❤️ thank you for making this video.

[@liamodonovan8883]

I love you taz iam so glad I found your channel your videos have really helped me with my own mental health your not crazy this video shows how real and honest you are as a person love you always princess

[@thisdudesam4332]

Liam O Donovan ❤

[@rihana6787]

ik this was 2 yrs ago but u made me feel less alone thank u

[@miavi4227]

We are not alone ❤️

[@katerinkot]

Oh, my dear, dear.. I am 43 years old. I battle this monster every day. My hubby, daddy, mama- dont understand -what? why? Depression can be trained. Visualize it as a comic character. My dear, angel- we Can Fight the demon. Hush, my baby, embrace the days when you dont have depression. You are amazing! Amazing! And you know what- we gonna grab those demons and we gonna drop them all in the Niagara fals, deep down, not with us, not near! Cause You Can and you will get better. Whethever religion or simple breathing exercise. Don't worry, We are here to listen and help.

[@ruchisharma749]

So sweet :)

[@PaigeMelissa]

thank you for sharing this....ive been feeling like this the past few weeks... its like one sec I'm good then the next I feel low and worthless...& its like you know you shouldn't feel that way and you just do... I've been dealing with this for 2 years...

[@thisdudesam4332]

Paige Melissa ❤

[@Nada_-zm2wv]

Who thinks she looks so pretty even when she's crying

[@elenalalanza345]

I think shes prettier when shes happy

[@psycherevivedby]

What the fuck? Why does that even cross your mind

[@streetprescott]

Me

[@giannagoldstein8773]

She's always pretty

[@monke3898]

@@psycherevivedby because some ppl are pretty cryers, what u pressed for

[@ES-ds3ui]

Taz you are a beautiful person , you should feel good about yourself for being a role model for many people and teens

[@manowmahawiye5540]

am sending you a big hug. this is a horrible feeling and I will pray you get through this. Your kind and beautiful soul and keep going this will pass

[@carlatodd4630]

Lily Singh and Liza koshy had a baby this would be the baby

[@carlatodd4630]

Rebekah whiston This was my first video seeing of hers and if you had a problem with what I said and it is just a comment.Second I wasn’t comparing her to lily and Liza I said she looked look that those two.

[@rebekahwhiston5463]

Now being the responsible one I'm going to delete my comments because I want to make KZbin a better place with no negativity Zaria Todd I hope you have a nice night or day god bless you.

[@nolitimere665]

Lol yessss. But not the right video to say that tho

[@carlatodd4630]

Mara Martanov Do you think Lily and Liza are pretty

[@nolitimere665]

@@carlatodd4630 they are both pretty. And taaaaaz is beautiful!

[@jihanr6562]

Taz, I love how real and open you are. I love how I can watch your videos and relate to them. I know that depression feeling, and it sucks, bad. I just want you to know that whenever you put out videos, I can always count on how real, honest, and genuine they are. That's why I like them and you. But if you ever need to take a break from KZbin or anything in general, WE ARE HERE FOR YOU, and WE WILL SUPPORT YOU.

[@thisdudesam4332]

Sasha Ramr ❤

[@tonipacheco1335]

This video made me connect with your words. Not too long ago i got the courage to ask my mother to take me to a psychiatrist. I didn't really want to, but i knew i was hurting other people and making them feel bad for MY actions. The appointment wasn't for another 2 months. During the time of the wait i started to become happy again. She eventually confronted me about my emotions and told me she cancelled the appointment. She told me that i can CONTROL my feelings. I wanted to cry. I wanted to scream that i only wanted them to be happy, that i was trying to keep calm and stay away from anything that could possibly make me sad again. You videos allows me to understand and realize that im not the only one. Thank you.

[@marthapowell3593]

Watching this breaks me down to tears. I haven’t myself yet struggled with mental health problems but I know people who do. I am here in 2020 and that is such a great feeling because I know Taz now has her own house and is doing so much better. I love you Taz 💖

[@jessicaxx3734]

I feel like this and I go high school and it makes me so itrattaded because I want to be alone

[@angelabilly9521]

Autumn Xx right! ):

[@thisdudesam4332]

Autumn Xx ❤

[@sarahjobagy9457]

Autumn Xx Right? As soon as I get home from school, i want to sleep until im not tired, and U want to not get stressed about school, but then I always have stuff to do, so i never get time to myself

[@hotcuboid9964]

Winter Xx me too😧😧

[@theresafloresca1509]

Winter Xx we are all going to something 😬😬

[@softyat]

Seeing you cry literally breaks my heart. In the past year since I have found your channel you have inspired me to focus on myself and just remember at the end what really matters. You inspire me to love my myself and your words really speak to me I hope you feel better, lots of love keep your head up❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

[@thisdudesam4332]

Yat ❤❤

[@dkiwi566]

hey Taz its been 3 years since you post this video. now in quarantine im going through some stuff. and i wanted to say that ı feel you and ı appreciate your videos. thanks for being yourself. and please dont feel pressured or insecure.

[@Jade-nj9ii]

I hope you're okay

[@dkiwi566]

@@Jade-nj9ii thanks man. Im not ok. But realy thank you for caring.

[@siggy4366]

Love the realness of this video

[@leakristin9137]

I started crying so badly because what happened to you is the exact same thing that happened to me yesterday, I was so happy and yesterday the feelings came up and my brain changed. I randomly started crying when nothing happened and I can‘t help it and I can‘t stop. No idea what‘s wrong with my brain

[@TanujPandya]

Whenever I go back to a down phase I watch Taz's old poems and these videos to remind myself that I am not alone. Taz has a way with words that is comforting and makes me feel like what I am going through is valid and that she understands me.

[@mikkaaube5404]

This is the definition of my life "I'm always on the break of crying"

[@Snump_Tv]

Mikka Aube stop making everything about u

[@chloefarr3722]

literally kills me to see you like that :(

[@ayeyone4660]

ik I'm seeing this nine months later but don't stop fighting. id be lying 2 u if I said that it'll get better cause I myself dont believe that. but keep fighting i mean it might get worse but at some point it has 2 get better right? most ppl just dunno when that is💟💟💟

[@bintzubair]

Anyone who has watched her "I tried being a mother" video series can understand and appreciate how happy she is now. She's in a much better place and I'm so genuinely proud of her. ❤️

[@snowyung9516]

I know that’s why I came back to this video to see how far she has come

[@Galaxygamergal]

This is the most vulnerable video I've ever seen😱

[@ilanieb2423]

its really okay to cry. Its just a stress relief. Literally this happend to me. I cried myself to sleep 2 nights in a row. nothing happened. I was just like this is not me. Im not like this. So then I thought... it was stress about friends, schoolwork etc. It wa, like my friends put soooi much stress because of things my friends are going through .(selfharm, body issues) I sat down with my mum and just talked. Literally I was a different person afterwards. Work through it, think about it, talk to someone, allow yourself to cry, its good to release emotions. Good luck ,you will be okay.xx

[@ilanieb2423]

and im like the happiest person I also laugh. s it was wierd for me to cry.

[@thisdudesam4332]

Ilanie B ❤

[@aniaboberek9594]

I feel exactly that same I cry all the time for no reason and I can’t help myself 😭 but we all love u taz ❤️❤️❤️❤️

[@mattphilip4595]

*Hugs*

[@mymamalovesme]

*4 months old but HUGS*

[@ColinWhitpan]

Stay strong Taz! We love you! We've all been there.

[@ashminley]

I've never relate so much to a person before. I had depression at a really young age so its really hard to say what I feel to the people I'm surrounded with without being said that I'm crazy. Its so hard.

[@noridesreliu8559]

The thing is i always cry but i never want to see other people cry. I hope you get better. You are the best person that i have watched. And i never want to see you cry. You have a great heart and you deserve way better than you get.

[@lia.8814]

You'll be okay my love and believe me you ARE enough ❤ i understand how you feel but remember we love you so much

[@VintageReact]

The sad thing is guys feel like that too often and people don't take them seriously

[@skyalabed5260]

I came back to this video after watching her latest video , this honestly breaks my heart because she is the only youtuber that I watch regularly . She makes me feel better about myself and watching her videos makes me forget about everything and I really thank her for that . STAY STRONG TAZ WE LOVE U ❤

[@eviejane-lk9yd]

2019 anyone?

[@Som1_Unavailable]

Me

[@artisthusnatalal3099]

Over heeeerrree!!!

[@Imjust_KEN]

Yoo

[@gerlieuy9883]

Me

[@daisyfrew2631]

Evie asmr 1 me

[@iwantyourcookiesnow]

I came here because I wasn’t ok. I feel almost just like her.

[@manatmatharu5074]

me too and i don't know what to do but when i watch taz i feel a lot better

[@bchang3298]

I saw ur comment and even though it was a month ago, I'm really sorry we were feeling so bad and I hope you are feeling better now. If you are still feeling so bad then please reach out and get some professional help.

[@wilsonphilip7274]

Taz stay strong u have a whole 500k people behind the scenes supporting u. Where ever and whatever u do. We r ur friends. Ur amazing. I love you. (From Australia xx 12year old gal)

[@KrishnaDavis]

Exactly how I’m feeling right this moment