Trump Walks Back His 'Would' For A 'Wouldn't'

Donald Trump made an addendum to his Helsinki statements, changing the meaning of his widely condemned remarks into the exact opposite of the what he originally said. No biggie!
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[@wgjung1]

Trump wasn't able to say that in front of Putin. There are certain things you don't say in front of your boss.

[@kimberlys8422]

You can tell Putin spanked Spanky during that private meeting

[@WisGuy4]

That’s outrageous that you call Putin Trump’s “boss.” Putin is Trump’s handler. You seem to have forgotten that before Putin became a politician/dictator, he was a KGB lt. colonel. When spies blackmail a stooge, they become the co-opted source’s handler, not his boss.

[@toadjiang7626]

It's quite satisfying to watch chickenshit Bonespurs getting cucked by Putin in front of the whole world.

[@StanleyMabonga]

😅😅😅😅😅😅

[@owingsmillss]

Awe ouch good one

[@Fisarmonica23]

it needed no clarification. we knew exactly what you meant and YOU KNEW IT as well.

[@philturner8281]

Sheri Mignano ... yes ma'am, Ms Mignano, Trump said exactly what he meant. That lie Trump had prepared was surrounded by such dark energy that the lights went out. Although the media don't get into spiritual matters of this sort, that dark energy clearly manifested itself on a level most folks would just dismiss as sheer coincidence.

[@alainarchambault2331]

He's not a diplomat. I've had Trump supporters saying you don't go to a diplomatic meeting, being confrontational. True. We wouldn't want to start a war after all. If I was Trump, I would've avoided a press conference like a plague, knowing how they usually end up. Trump is NOT quick thinking, enough to deflect or to be circumspect. His ego wouldn't allow for it.

[@plasticbutler]

Don't you just hate it when you're supposed to confront a sworn enemy but then you end up committing a treason instead?

[@suebarrow5973]

plasticbutler lol he must be completely bewildered - and he thought he did so well. Ahh

[@vermithraxpejorative7387]

Plasticbutler - Bravo !! Underrated comment. Very nice.

[@baleigh5610]

I literally spit out at this comment 🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂😆😆😆👏👏👏👏

[@neil7826]

He had to read a statement someone else wrote because he really doesn't believe what he's reading. He's done it before. That little caveat at the end, where he says "or someone else" is another trick he uses to show he doesn't believe what he's reading. It's like he's being forced to eat his peas like a kindergartner. What a disgrace he is.

[@bumblebee5564]

It's his "oppositional" syndrome (I think I read that it's part of a narcissism cluster of symptoms). He cannot be told what to do even for his own good. No one can advise or control him -- except Putin, who has enslaved him with blackmail. He is one sick creature.

[@elmobennett3013]

Neil Vincent SOMEONE ELSE WOULD NOT THROW A LIE IN! WOULDN'T! WOULD! WOULD NOT! OH HELL HE IS A DAMN LIAR! YEA! WOMP! WOMP!

[@soyNYZ]

Also adding the no colusion line. Really shows you his state of mind.

[@gayebeatle1289]

He's OWNED by Russia

[@ElroyMcDuff]

Nailed it!

[@gregdavidl647]

Watching Trump is like watching a kid reading a book report written by another smarter kid

[@ValerieJNorse]

And one that he seriously does not want to read!

[@ezrael]

Oh my god i cant unseen it now. lol

[@Lizzo13]

This is the most perfect description I've ever seen. He obviously struggled with several of those bigger words.

[@wandaminter9421]

Lizzo13 - you mean the bigly words? He really did NOT want to read that, it was obvious.

[@FauxTitle]

Whenever they use more than 3 or 4 clips of him talking I end up just groaning at my screen, the man can barely form a fucking sentence

[@yabutmaybenot.6433]

"When I left, everybody was thrilled." Most honest statement Trump has ever made, and not for the reason he thinks.

[@thebeavpercabethftw9604]

Does he have any self-awareness? People being thrilled when you leave is not a good thing for you Donald. Trump: "When I left the White House in 2021, everyone was thrilled."

[@karengenest7481]

I hope we feel the same thrill in 2020!

[@liampeterson2360]

Karen Genest hope it's before 2020

[@ChrisTtheCarpenter]

"Now they're embarrassed!?"

[@sheritownsend7525]

If FOX News criticized Trump that should tell you something. Fox better be careful. Trump supporters might start calling them "fake news".

[@UltraPoseidon]

They were Faux News before it was cool.

[@CButtonshaw]

then there will be no one left apparently.

[@TetraSky]

They still went back to sucking his balls, especially hannity

[@Midwest-hx8wf]

Fox News just became the new deep state haha

[@Traskelion]

At least they'll always have Alex Jones, right?

[@IAMdeathblade]

Impeach the traitor

[@doaditty123]

IAMdeathblade I wish we still had the gullotine for treasonous bastards like drumpf

[@molly1949]

Didnt we used to treat traitors a bit differently? Impeachment is mild, he doesnt care about what folks think of him, no punishment there

[@悪臭-p9p]

I support the furthest extent of American law in Trumps case.

[@andromedaspark2241]

When Trump is looking down, reading his notes on which lies to spew, it's horribly apparent that he's barely literate.

[@melj6488]

And he can’t spell collusion either 🤦🏼‍♀️

[@RoweMich]

Andromeda Spark "Sundowning" appears anytime after jet lag

[@karengenest7481]

As a retired teacher of language skills, I agree! His language skills are astonishingly poor.

[@chasetonga]

I thought the same thing!

[@chasetonga]

Michelle Rowe Sundowning also appears in people with dementia/Alzheimer’s.

[@PriestessAusetRaAmen]

I can't be the only one that gives Colbert thumbs up, before even hearing the monologue. His writers are that good, and so his execution, comedic timing and the band is cool too.

[@tonydenaro6600]

Colbert and Jon Stewart et al means that there is still some intelligent life in the US

[@brianwalsh7931]

Thanks for reminding me to give a thumbs up before I hit play. I might forget to show my respect otherwise due to distraction caused by laughter. I know without a doubt Colbert delivers the best every single time.

[@owingsmillss]

Yes what you said

[@kathymitcham5130]

Colbert is amazing

[@Squashed8Ball]

Letterman made The Late Show an institution but Colbert is just on a whole other level! He’s a real “stable genius” at work!

[@roypedzisai2267]

From a President who makes jokes to a President who is a joke.

[@filmNFX1]

Roy Pedzisai that's not fair, he made Eric.

[@tattiebogle4976]

film effects LOL brilliant !

[@ventryfoo6060]

O

[@Drace90]

Trump: "I see no reason why it would be Russia." Trump supporters: "Yeah! You heard him! He's right!" Trump: "Sorry, I meant to say I see no reason why it wouldn't be Russia." Trump supporters: "Yeah! You heard him! He's right!"

[@dereklowery9946]

Drace90 ROTFL😂😂😂😂😂😂😂.Classic comment..

[@hotdude6926]

Literally, though. There’s nothing he says they won’t get behind, absolutely brainwashed beyond belief

[@inayahariffin5264]

The ego and ignorance is astounding. This is beyond stubbornness, this is pig headedness and utter STUPIDITY. When u are wrong, admit it and accept it with grace so you can evolve and learn. But these ignorant lemmings put their pride and ego above even their patriotism and loyalty to their countrymen. I cannot understand. I just can't.

[@GO-nh6br]

They just go with the flow

[@mantistoboggan5171]

it's a goddamn cult

[@JonPais]

Guilty of treason just for thinking the public is that stupid.

[@tommyhallum4207]

That's the one thing Trump was right about. Some Americans are that stupid. And those Americans wear red hats.

[@northuniverse]

I believe the intended audience for this "correction", are his supporters

[@ryanembry9875]

Jon Pais 30% are. sorry, man. it sucks

[@zesty9815]

To borrow Trump's question, "How stupid are the people of the country to believe this crap?" kzbin.info/www/bejne/mHjcn6F8gcqpask

[@rikkokoboutique]

Jon Pais ..too right!

[@marylight9700]

Wonder if the Lights Issue was maybe angry spirits of former Presidents not too happy w him... :-I

[@scarletcomptonbellew8470]

I would not doubt that, maybe right now they shaking the bed and banging on the walls while he cowers in bed with his cheeseburgers !

[@waterandafter]

Mary Light Naw, he was afraid he was about to be assassinated.

[@teamla1047]

Step away from the Lincoln Bedroom!

[@shanjayaweera3036]

Nah - it was the FBI letting him know they think he's a fuckwit

[@moonlit6311]

Shan Jayaweera I thought something similar. Maybe the lights going out was supposed to be a diversion, get him to switch the subject...

[@rogercane3937]

How do the Americans live with such an dangerous "embarrasement"!

[@FrancisR420]

Roger Cane we just hold on to the fact that the Electoral College (not the public) can vote him out in another 2 years

[@Tipperary757]

Fearfully.

[@rollothecat2010]

Roger Cane Uneasily. Trump has literally invaded my nightmares. First thing in the mornings, I check my news feed on my mobile phone to find out what horrid thing Trump has done while I was trying to sleep. And lo and behold, there is always something, every DAMN day.

[@stargateorion1912]

I haven't sleep in months I have PTSD

[@Spotie]

We count the days until it's over.

[@845835]

Lock him up...Lock him up...Lock him up!!!

[@inayahariffin5264]

845835ab yes!!!!

[@dudebladeX]

When he said that he would make America great, he actually meant that he _wouldn't_ make America great.

[@AhavaMath]

you, sir, win the internets

[@KikiLivesInMe]

I wish someone would look at me like Trump looks at Putin! With pure devotion!

[@thebeavpercabethftw9604]

It's my OTP.

[@Bad80y1]

HAHAHAHAHA!!! Excellent line.

[@Point_Particle]

Ted, Trump's ego's ego was starving the press room of oxygen over the fact that he was standing on a stage next to Vlad. If you aren't aware of how badly Trump wishes to be bestest besties with the world's most powerful men, you've been living under a very large rock. Coming out and publicly backpeddling (what little bit he could manage)...wow. You know it crushed the one thing that means most to him in this world - his pride.

[@kyuubey3943]

#relationshipgoals

[@moonlit6311]

Shit - My eye’s burning! Same here- I'll never know such burning love and devotion...😂😘😍💕🇷🇺💗❤🇷🇺💓🇷🇺💞🇷🇺💕🇷🇺❤🇷🇺💗

[@ThomasEJensen_TEJ]

Flicking the light in the oval office. Is how Putin reminds trump who's the boss. :-D

[@SusanSt.James-33]

😨😂

[@ZaeMartin]

Thomas.E. Jensen 😂

[@monicamoore5316]

The man behind the curtain.

[@conflictofincest6629]

God this is scary 😬

[@thebeavpercabethftw9604]

Ok, you sir have the best matching profile pic and profile name I have ever seen. You win this day for having that amazing profile.

[@thebeavpercabethftw9604]

I hope that doesn't sound arrogant.

[@thebeavpercabethftw9604]

Ok, sorry. I fixed it.

[@thebeavpercabethftw9604]

I mean, I wouldn't say I earned it. I just typed it out without thinking it through first. I didn't expect to get the third degree over it though.

[@thebeavpercabethftw9604]

I know. I was just responding to OriginalTharios about earning my original statement.

[@StevenTorrey]

Hillary warned the Trumpster was dangerously incoherent! She was spot on!

[@klarastern5597]

well... it wasn't a secret... it was quite obvious from the start... :/

[@fl00d69]

DON'T bring Hillary into this - she was shit too.

[@truth4004]

#Hillary2020! she won and got cheated by trumprussia

[@fl00d69]

No no no get it right, Hillary is a shitstain. Find your leaders elsewhere.

[@hb6x8]

I feel bad for the woman next to Treason, I mean Trump. Would you want the lights to go out when near him?

[@miamidolphinsfan]

That's Betsy DeVos she has no shame.....she's as bad as Trump

[@TheTruthiest]

Better keep those legs closed tight

[@robkemp598]

Punder statement. I think that would terrify me

[@hb6x8]

Kevin Clements Oh that's Betsy DeVos? Nevermind then I don't feel bad for her.

[@napoleonbonaparte7686]

thats why melania doesnt sleep with him..they sleep in separate beds

[@driftbandit4740]

"A double negative like Donald and Trump". Loved that quote.

[@44ThaNatos44]

I don't what's most baffling, that he has the guts to come out and lie like that thinking anybody would buy it, or that some actually do...

[@suebarrow5973]

Th4N4 he doesn't even have to make corrections for his base - they'll buy anything

[@mirasolovklose3888]

At this point I am convinced he thinks, if you don't agree with him you don't matter.

[@jayzenitram9621]

The latter.

[@jayzenitram9621]

Mirasolov, interesting how one comma will give your sentence a whole different meaning.

[@terr777]

I completely understand, I used to get tongue tied when I was with a guy I had a crush on too.

[@stheday1]

Traitor trying to take his words back. Unforgivable.

[@jardelelias5625]

The jokes pratically write themselves, don't they?

[@jomac2046]

"I know words. I have all the best words." "Don't tell me about words." Trump 2016

[@thebeavpercabethftw9604]

His words are tremendous.

[@chasingperfect28]

Pensa Simpson -- A "stable" genius, at that. We seriously need to get this man out of office ASAP.

[@salubrious]

Trump is a moral vacuum. The lies roll off him almost every time he speaks. The fact that he's POTUS is just INSANE.

[@anandsreenivasan6123]

salubrious he just made the most powerful nation on this planet into the most ridiculous nation on the planet till date.

[@Charlie-kn7zg]

He's a pathological liar and an incredibly stupid individual, most people accept this. But they still voted for this vulgar character, question is why? It's because the left adopted the far-left stance of identity politics .. i.e -- you're a straight white male , therefore your opinion is irrelevant / doesn't count, because you're not scoring high enough on our oppressed scale. Saying stuff like critiquing the ideology of Islam makes you a racist bigot but critiquing the ideology of Christianity is fine ..... it was drivel like this that directly lead to the Trump victory!

[@cheree1838]

salubrious snake on the plane

[@FrancisR420]

Objective Critic wrong. most people voted for Hillary Clinton. he won because of the Electoral College

[@FrancisR420]

Objective Critic By the way that's a very funny ironic name Because you're super subjective and not objective at all

[@johnnyb6067]

he turtled up when the lights went out. still a scared child.

[@PureGreggy]

And then he starts asking if everyone is ok. They're like "We're fine but you look like you shit your pants, sir." He was projecting his own fear onto other people, lol.

[@mynameisvna]

It's Abraham Lincoln's ghost

[@lmiketa]

It was a sign.......hopefully his lights will be out soon!!!!

[@ZombiePinupBarbie]

It's a common reaction for adults with Alzheimer's disease

[@OP-1000]

At that very moment, Trump got switched with a russian look-a-like. Or the other way around, I’m not sure 🤔

[@devalopr]

Trump: "Make America great again" Also Trump: I actually meant 'hate' not 'great' it should have been obviois!

[@kakelinga]

Make America "White and Male Dominated" again is more like it.

[@LackaDaisyUK]

You don't need trump for that, USA were well hated already

[@broknuckles7127]

It's quite amazing how the democrats keep seeing themselves as some peace-loving angels. It's the democrats who fought to keep MAINTAINING the slaves, it's the democrats that have slain SO MANY innocent civilians across the world, for example; Serbia, Bosnia, Kosovo, Afghanistan, Iraq, Mali, and so on. And even when Trump searches for PEACE with NK & RUSSIA, the democrats somehow wish to make it seem BAD. Democrats truly are horrible, delusional maniacs.

[@Chief2Moon]

BroKnuckles It's rather obvious you must have missed much attendance in social studies&history classes in school, and aren't overly attentive to what's going on now. You have however polished your hypocrisy&deflection to perfection...welcome to the RepubliRussian party.

[@lorigreene402]

He is absolutely clueless. Do you ever get the impression that Trump believes that he is starring in a reality show called "You can be a President too?" Unfortunately for us, this is one show that has gone way over its alloted time in reruns.

[@beckybowen196]

Agree. That show needed to be canceled-like after the first week.

[@DBSbluedevil]

I fully regret assuming Dubya would the least intellectual of all presidents. They had a book full of his blunders. Trump will have a library full. RNC out did themselves yet again.

[@jdmacgyver2062]

DBSbluedevil Safe to say there won’t be a Trump library 🤥

[@andreajohnsMyPotteryBliss]

DBSbluedevil Imagine orange Julius Caesar’s presidential library. There will be many weighty tomes documenting his voluminous falsehoods. (I’m deploying multi-syllabic speech so Trump’s ability to comprehend will be hampered.)

[@Squashed8Ball]

At least Dubya acted Presidentially regardless of what you may think of his political leaning and intelligence level. What’s more, speaking of intelligence, he also trusted and respected his intelligence agencies as well as the FBI and DOJ.

[@emilycouper3217]

DBSbluedevil ààaà

[@djcfrompt]

Colbert's previous headline - "President 'Misunderestimated' vs President 'Weird Sh*t'"

[@GiuseppePipia]

Anybody noticed how uncomfortable Drumpf was when reading his apologies and clarifications? Clearly they were written for him to read but not for a moment he believes in those words.

[@bryanwilson8396]

Giuseppe Pipia You could also tell … he was reading (trying) it for the very first time, like he didn’t did prepare. Looked like he thought it was in French or some other foreign language. He tried to reread it and still got it wrong.

[@lmiketa]

He's probably worried about explaining it to Putin

[@Lobishomem]

Giuseppe Pipia He barely knows how to read. Surrealistic! Maybe Betty Devos can hire him a private tutor who should be paid in advance.

[@langitrinesti3998]

"I accept our intelligent community's conclusion that Russia was meddling when 2016 election took place... could be other people also. There's a lot of people out there..." And still, Trump just had to improvise. He really couldn't help it :p

[@siddokis2945]

lmiketa he probably already called Putin to tell him he was going to do it. "Forced to by the GOP, don't believe any of it Sir, no need to release the pee pee tapes"!

[@leslieeaston3383]

There will be people that actually believe that verbal diarrhea. Sad.

[@SliceOfDog]

For a politician who claims to be a strongman negotiator, Trump certainly seems to alter his opinion based on who's sitting next to him...

[@Queenie4rl]

SliceOfDog. Exactly!!! he is quite easy to persuade. A submissive imbecile.

[@genghiskhan9269]

SliceOfDog Remember when Trump floated the idea of going against the NRA after Parkland? Trump has never really been a pro second amendment supporter in his life

[@jspres86]

Arnold said it best. Trump “stood there like a wet noodle, like a little fanboy.” It was pathetic. And you know Putin was loving it.

[@danieldickson8591]

Like all bullies, Trump's actions are based on what he perceives as weakness or strength. The NATO leaders tried to treat him with respect and deference befitting his office, and he jumped all over them. Putin made him wait forty-five minutes for their meeting to establish dominance, and Trump folded like a cheap suit.

[@run-cnc]

i would vote trump again... oh wait, i meant wouldn't!

[@kimdrusch708]

B. Stone 🖒🖒😂

[@lupevaldez8456]

B. Stone good one , i see what you did there🤔

[@stephanies2239]

why did you do it in the FIRST PLACE?!?

[@vicovendale6955]

The lights are back on but there's still nobody at home.

[@daverhoden445]

Usually when they say someone's a terrible liar they don't mean that person is terrible AT lying. Meet the exception.

[@trishahardy9178]

Dave Rhoden ... rofl, it's both with him

[@cmw12]

That’s actually exactly what that phrase means.

[@kyliej4731]

In a clever throwback to his previous cable show, Colbert demonstrated subversive even-handedness when referring to a couple of movies that reflected the irrational fear of Russia and its importance as America's arch nemesis bogie man. Something that used to only be a Republican point of view, but is now also being embraced by "progressives"

[@sirmoonslosthismind]

+Kylie J most democrats base our beliefs on _evidence_ and not just blind faith. thus, many democrats are now taking the russian threat much more seriously than they might have before. that's what sane and rational people do; they change their minds when it's warranted. colbert is perhaps most famous for mocking purely faith-based decision-making at the white house correspondents dinner. george w. bush, according to colbert, "believes the same thing wednesday that he believed on monday, _no matter what happened tuesday_ ". if you never understand anything else from colbert's schtick, make the effort to assimilate this single point, because it's by far the most important.

[@iedison3839]

That is literally always what they mean

[@gabrielchemla1758]

Man did Trump ever screw up this past week. First with the Queen and his comments on Russia

[@berg8970]

Please name one week, no one day when he doesn't screw up?

[@neeneba4903]

He screws up every single day

[@zedeighty]

But he did insult our Prime Minister more than once and made her look a total fool for inviting him. I felt sorry Theresa May and I'm not in the habit of feeling sympathy for Tories.

[@anonUK]

zedeighty She got her own back on the Andrew Marr show.

[@stephanies2239]

you need to rethink why you voted for this guy......

[@LoveProWrestling]

Obama is laughing. And also crying.

[@ValerieJNorse]

And any tremors in California over the next few days will be Ronald Reagan spinning in his grave.

[@vaidehiraghavan]

Scott Wilson, I did that when I watched Drumpf attack our own intelligence and then said "but".

[@rancher12121]

Scott Wilson putin is laughing his ass off

[@vaquero3578]

scott wilson - obama the socialist...killed our country financially. obama = most ignorant president in US history.

[@Sparhafoc]

Vaquero - fake news.

[@Yesidoplaytheguitar]

He's a "stable genius"!

[@AeroGold1]

He also has the best words...

[@stephenpearce2948]

Yesidoplaytheguitar lol

[@FiveSigma72]

He's the cleverest person in the room!.....as long as that room is a stable. With no people in it. Or horses, for that matter.

[@Coolestmovies]

So is America great again yet? Anyone have a timeline for that? Maybe November?

[@KatrinaAune]

Coolestmovies 🖖😇

[@robdieseldiesel8960]

Coolestmovies what you said!!!

[@kellenhietpas7349]

It's so sad this is real I can't laugh.

[@thebeavpercabethftw9604]

Well, Comedy equals tragedy + time, so maybe someday you'll be able to laugh at it.

[@Lt.Mingus69]

I was just thinking it actually is funny, it just can't be real...but it is! lol

[@orouba14]

He insulted my intelligence

[@ValerieJNorse]

He insulted the intelligence of the room's furniture.

[@jahnaroth669]

orouba14 He did, and his friends permanent military airbase in Syria is still threatening Isreal. Nobody noticed they were building it. I'm glad Jack noticed they built the launchers in Cuba, imagine Trump in 62. As your Commander in Chief.

[@orouba14]

Jahna Roth I'm more concerned about those poor syrian ppl being slaughtered from that airbase.

[@ethantemple506]

He insulted the entire intelligence community, not only his agencies but the entire freaking country’s

[@orouba14]

Culminatr right? 😊😊

[@mumble.jumbles]

The lie detector lights finally worked for once.

[@maggierezac5820]

mercerdamon, thank you for that badly needed giggle! Peace.

[@eater999]

Where?

[@awashington8447]

5:24 Trump was backpedaling so hard, he was practically moon walking 😏😏😂😂

[@roundedges2]

Ahh--No doubt you are referring to his "Space Force". Ready for takeoff! #Winning

[@filmNFX1]

roundedges2 he clearly wasn't referring to the space force.

[@pacomiguel6923]

👍

[@MrNncon]

a Washington yah and he called canada names for it

[@adfmo2195]

Hahahahahaha! 🚶🏼‍♂️

[@krneki111]

Trump in a couple of months: "My impeachment was amazing. One of the best impeachments of all time. Tremendous! Everybody thinks so. I mean we won. We won the elections and we did the best job. Ask anybody. We did tremendous job in the office and now we are having the impeachment. The best in history. I call it the Trumpeachment."

[@siddokis2945]

Luka Gorjup "The system is rigged, I'm suing the government, believe me it will be the biggest lawsuit ever, I have the best lawyers, blah blah blah blah blah"!

[@WakeUpAmerican000s]

Sid Dokis - you're probably right, because he is dumb enough to bankrupt himself a 7th time, though it might be more difficult to do from a jail cell.

[@alanai1981]

Luka Gorjup 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😱😱😱😱👍🏾👍🏾👍🏾👍🏾👀👀👀👀👀🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽💯

[@pedacito2814]

sooooooo many people came and it was the bestest day in history ...people will talk about it forever and say it was the best day

[@nighthowl9237]

Hilarious😂😂

[@1houroflove186]

"Sort of like a double negative" - Donald Trump.

[@mattizzle81]

a quote for the ages. Also 'coulda been a lotta people, there's a lotta people out there'. - Donald Trump.

[@mctavish199]

He obviously has no idea what a double negative is. Does he think he's Mick Jagger: "I can't get no satisfaction." What an ignorant tool (DJT not MJ).

[@icecreamalacarte]

"I'm a very stable genius." "I have a very good brain." "I'm, like, a smart person." "My hands are too big." -_-

[@toadjiang7626]

As usual, Trump is insulting his own supporters' intelligence once again, no one has a lower opinion of Trump supporters' IQ than Trump himself.

[@rkadius001]

The Dems and NWO has brainwashed you well. You guys prefer to have a conflict or even a war over a business 101 politics.

[@albevanhanoy]

Presiden't.

[@stormkang]

Albe Van Hanoy presidon't?

[@diamondj1979]

Presi-DON'T

[@raz3488]

your meme-ing skill may be a bit too high for youtube audience

[@wijithamanel1390]

Albe Van Hanoy 😹😹😹😹😹😹😹

[@eniayoayoola1442]

In case some people don't recognize this meme, here's the Know your Meme article 😁 knowyourmeme.com/memes/yesnt

[@susanr4848]

I really love Stephen’s monologues, and the fact that I can access them anytime on KZbin is a bonus. However, I don’t see an air date. Could it be included in the title? (...unless it’s there, and I just missed it...) Thank you, Stephen. You’ve been keeping me sane!

[@inayahariffin5264]

This is Orwell's 1984. Freedom is slavery, war is peace, would is wouldn't.

[@gary_buckley]

*Penny Royal* ~ Well Orwell’s 1984 is more of an extremely left wing dystopia than right wing. Also this video itself is quite reminiscent of “Two Minutes Hate” don’t you think?

[@Johnwilkinsonofficial]

Gary Buckley no Trumps rallys much more have the vibe of a 2 minutes hate. It is true that an authoritarian nightmare state can be left or right in character, the one we are currently hoping to fend off is right.

[@gary_buckley]

*Jonathan Wilkinson* ~ No the prospect of an authoritarian dystopia seems like it would be at the hands of the extreme left as they want to appeal the second amendment, they want to introduce hate speech laws affectively appealing the first amendment and they want socialism rather than capitalism.

[@Johnwilkinsonofficial]

Gary Buckley the college campus left is very bad and authoritarian in character, I agree. however Trumpism is actually in power and openly warring against the institutions which check the executive branch. He also appears to be a Russian asset which I hope bothers you.

[@inayahariffin5264]

How is it left wing. Please explain.

[@paulramos4037]

This is why EDUCATION is a MUST, especially learning Reading and Reading Comprehension.

[@P1DiscoGina]

He can just BARELY read English words on a frucking paper! My God, this is our karma for defiling animals and the earth isn't it?

[@roguishpaladin]

Daisyville Possibly...just possibly.

[@JBlack7027]

It's because we dared to elect a progressive black President.

[@cynthiamueller9221]

No, it’s because you defend killing babies.

[@P1DiscoGina]

Cynthia Monti This really is the reason the presidency was hijacked, I know! It's been widely known for as long as ever! Which is beyond psychotic and hipocritical! Come back when you get better, your mind heals and your heart gets right! Until then, 👋🏼 with your hipocrasy!

[@thegrigs777]

Clinton steals billions of dollars from Haiti. Delete 30,000 classified emails. Is a socialist that lives in the lap of luxury and charges $500,000 for a speech. Talks about helping the poor while they steal from them yet libs think Trump is evil

[@MforMovesets]

"Let's see how dumb the American people are." Who elected him again? OH...

[@SendohJin]

the Electoral College did.

[@louisechacon9836]

Stupid voters I have to believe were drunk or high at the time. Now, they need those to fight the nausea that is Trump.

[@ifyousayso9392]

MforMovesets Once again.. THE MAJORITY OF AMERICAN PEOPLE DID NOT VOTE FOR TRUMP.

[@philthy.basement]

You know they will which scary 😣

[@LithiumThiefMusic]

MforMovesets Russia

[@bond-jamesbond4926]

Wow! Wasn't that an exciting couple seconds when the room went dark? Where's a ninja when you're really need one?

[@bryanwilson8396]

Drew Abbott Wouldn’t it have been perfect if … DRUMPF disappeared at that exact same moment … never to return again !

[@wheezerism2.07]

I think that was a warning from God, that next He would send a bolt of lightening.

[@katiekane5247]

In our collective dreams!

[@nayinayi1]

Who ever wrote that for him - he made it worse. It would have been better if he apologized and took full responsibility of what he said or just leave the mess he did yesterday alone...

[@nfzeta128]

exactly. I mean with all the other things he said, the only thing that made sense in context was what he first said. Now they come up with this totally BS explanation like if changing one word changes everything.

[@ValerieJNorse]

nayinayi1 -- He cannot apologize. Some people are like that; I think it's because they were brought up by people who felt that mistakes were unforgivable sins. He is absolutely incapable of admitting a mistake and apologizing for anything.

[@OldSkullInn]

And that could be his way out of this whole shitstorm. "Ladies and gentlemen of America, I realized our election system was broken, so I did the only thing I could to expose the flaw. I took the oval office and made everyone acknowledge the deficits therein. It is now time for me to step aside, and together, we can correct the problems and prevent anything like this from happening again." He wins, we win, we move past it. It's like a drunk fuck at the office Halloween party. People rib you about it for a while, you'll be known as the person who fucked so-and-so, but ultimately you'll recover.

[@donrobertson4940]

Trump take responsibility for something. Lol. You must be new here.

[@dafttool]

Trump has a lot of difficulty with intelligence

[@kimdrusch708]

dafttool 😂😂😂

[@redcrow5607]

dafttool and the truth🤔

[@thebeavpercabethftw9604]

Well it's hard to have difficulty with something you don't have.

[@MaximusEugenius]

daftool - Do you mean like being a stable genius?

[@chrisose]

He has no difficulty with intelligence because he has never had any experience with it.

[@Alphasnowbordergirl]

I laugh when Trump speaks, then before I know it, they're sobs.

[@kipkip4388]

I couldn’t wait for the colbert take on the whole Helsinki mess. Dot dot dot, dot dot dot

[@SilentOcalypz]

That summit was a Trumpster fire.

[@gonzobelboy6656]

SilentOcalypz I hereby decree every dumpster bin to be named a trumpster bin. The will of the people has been received.

[@JJ-kl7eq]

Telling warm up, training lies before the main lies about Russia? I’ve seen this movie before. This is a remake of Trainsputin.

[@marcellinechoisne5627]

James,excellent,lol! "trainsputin "is perfect!

[@marcellinechoisne5627]

america is in the first scene!i see babys crying,with lost parents,dirty money..as a drug..

[@c.s.7266]

James Jumper What a sad movie it is.

[@aralitra]

6.15 am and I've just spat tea all over my laptop. Absolute gold with the trainsputin!

[@expedion]

1 hour this comment was made on a video with 45k views and already 215 likes on this post? Classic example of how amature botted upvoting is done. Desperate act and I saw same thing happening on CNN youtube channel

[@timeireles]

Trump is in the House! The movie "idiocracy" was a true prophecy!

[@chucku00]

Trump just lacks electrolytes... President Camacho is way more clever than this amoeba.

[@ted1990]

Idiocracy becomes more and more relevant!

[@KatrinaAune]

Tiago Meireles I been saying that at least the last 5 years. don't believe it bet you will find it tweeted at least that long ago & At least 50-100 times since. Soooo not kidding.

[@Coolestmovies]

Presidunce.

[@i.i.iiii.i.i]

Presiden't

[@bernardoheusi6146]

Lock him up!

[@cbeaucrawford]

Trump is a great President. Oops, I meant ISN'T

[@byakuyakuchiki8863]

Yeah, that is what all the Trumptards gonna do when they realise they are traitors. Busy burning their red caps and pretending to be American.

[@thesimplebloke]

Beau Crawford b

[@carloscrown931]

@ Beau Crawford Thanks for that...it made me chuckle

[@pommie5093]

Well done!

[@brettelliott4116]

No wonder why Trump thinks when a woman says no, she is actually saying yes.

[@PopsSoda]

I'm thinking of a word, rhymes with reason

[@javierpinon9443]

C.Rybinski ('Tis the) season For treason

[@derriklee287]

C.Rybinski season?

[@crystalnait455]

He got scared when the light went out, didn't he?

[@suebarrow5973]

Crystal Nait well I think he should be scared. The whole world hates him and he's just given the OK to Vlad to invade wherever he likes. They will be no sanctions. Why hasn't someone taken him out? Trump - Be afraid, be very afraid

[@Nexus-ub4hs]

Crystal Nait Yep, saw how his arms were crossed after...cowardly President Bone Spurs 🙄

[@vermithraxpejorative7387]

He probably thought he was getting snuffed right there. LOL

[@chasetonga]

Nexus That body language was very interesting.

[@nerowolfe736]

It was just Putin signalling "Be wery careful vat you say...remember, I am listening..."

[@arindamb]

Now the statement is even dumber: I have Mr. Putin here who says it wasn't Russia. I don't see any reason why it wouldn't be Russia. You don't preface sentences like that.

[@narcymatoko9747]

Agree.

[@SweatyShivers]

Dear America, your president has earned a 'time-out', please don't let him leave the country for awhile, we need a breather to get back a few of the IQ points we lost during his trip.- Luv, Rest of the World.

[@bl3nfk]

oh the humanity!

[@mamawtina1128]

Did you really mean to say the humility!??

[@spiroxis]

Oh the Hannity!

[@skler69]

It's always fun seeing the mental gymnastics from the cult of orange every time he changes his mind on an issue.

[@cheree1838]

Drm R yourec slow as turtles poop

[@TaraAby]

Lol "the mental gymnastics from the cult of orange"hahahahhaa nice

[@mdomjotuygvgyaqvvto6555]

"The Art of The Deal" "The Art of The Dea" "The Art of The De" "The Art of The D" "The Art of Th" "The Art of T" "The Art of Treason" Hmmm, makes sense...pretty easy to confuse those two...

[@twinodoom]

I’m throwing a party when Trump leaves.

[@kimdrusch708]

twinodoom 🍸🍸✌

[@jesuscichlidtank]

The world will party

[@JosiePC44]

Can I come?

[@retnavybrat]

+Bruce Wayne I'm curious as to why you think Trump will leave office exactly one year before his second term (should he inexplicably win it) would end?

[@guiguox]

trow the GOP.

[@cyndywaskelisthecrowscall]

Oh, he misspoke. Well, everything's just dandy, then!

[@kjamison5951]

Unlike Pinocchio, when trump lies the only thing that grows is his disapproval rating.

[@manonlapicard3736]

I wish...

[@floramartinez4882]

MatchstalkMan not really....americans don't do anything to get rid of him.

[@tstroede187]

Unfortunately not. 35 to 40% of the country joined the cult. Get out and vote in the midterms.

[@jss61]

A poll by Reuter's today came out to show that 75% of Republicans think Trump did just fine at the Russia/US Summit. How does that make you feel? For me, our President just handed us over to Russia, and Putin just offered him his "ball" a purely symbolic gesture of whose got balls to spare. Our president has been humiliated and is clueless. Worse, he's humiliated the USA.

[@rkayden]

MatchstalkMan and Sean Hannity's erection

[@jenpenn22]

I don't see a reason he should be impeached. Sorry, need to clarify, shouldn't. I meant to say shouldn't.

[@kimdrusch708]

jenpenn22 👏👏👏😂😂

[@archersterling5919]

#TRE45ON

[@hb6x8]

Archer Sterling He's on the highway to the danger zone.

[@oopoo64]

I’ve seen this a few times, what does the 45 mean?

[@wadepo1]

oopoo64 , trump is the illegitimate 45th president,

[@hb6x8]

oopoo64 Grover Cleveland served two none consecutive terms as president making him the 22nd and 24th POTUS. Depending on your viewpoint Trump is either the 44th or 45th POTUS.

[@catmonkey4351]

Nicely done. Sharing.

[@juliettsstyleglam]

He couldn't even look at those he was addressing. A big shame

[@nebraskahusker247]

IMPEACH 45!

[@echofriendlyy]

nebraskahusker247 sounds like an amazing punk band name. But really, be done with him.

[@cheree1838]

nebraskahusker247 goofy show

[@FrancisR420]

Don't look at me like that! people got to have her idiotic conspiracies about Obama even Trump takes credit for starting the most Infamous one and at least mines not super Racist

[@Kyle-rz3gp]

He isnt going anywhere

[@Robloxdude260]

Only 6 more years of trump calm down

[@mrbillsrecords]

I've seen 4 year olds do better damage control.

[@NoamMendelssohn]

My daughter when younger could think on her feet and either make a suitable apology or make something believable. Trumps sentence as he excuses it doesn't even make logical sense....

[@WillBravoNotEvil]

Red Woods He should bring in adorable kids for Guest Apologist of the Week.

[@retrovideogamejunkie]

Double negative like "we don't need no education"?

[@IrmaFritz]

haha!

[@edgarvalencia5693]

Double*

[@IrmaFritz]

double haha

[@n40tom]

retrovideogamejunkie Pink Floyd reference , love it .

[@darlenemcnealy6306]

You win!

[@Joey_ott]

I cant even understand what trump's trying to say half the time he makes no sense

[@TheInselaffen]

I am not a crook. I did not have sexual relations. I should have said wouldn't.

[@danieldickson8591]

The lameness factor in presidential denials has gone up over time.

[@dianereed48]

A blow job does nit compare to treason.

[@Chunkboi]

Diane Reed It compares to other felonies Trump committed while in office...obstruction, fraud, emoluments, and embezzlement. I will agree, though...Trump’s treason, however, is much, much worse.

[@tetsujin_144]

Well, no, but perjury is a serious matter, and it must be so because it's one of the main forces acting to keep people honest in a court room. Clinton attributed that to a difference of opinion on what constitutes "sexual relations". Like getting head isn't _real_ sex, right? (Personally I think it still counts as "sexual relations" and he was just trying to lie and get away with it...)

[@DigiCount]

Tetsujin technically, the legal definition (which he was using as a lawyer talking to lawyers) did not include oral penetration. He was absolutely being a weasel, but had the dubious distinction of truth in this situation. It definitely didn't require him to actually mean the exact opposite of the words coming out of his mouth in any case.

[@erickoontz6835]

I'll bet that was the FIRST time the Queen of England had ever been referred to as a "terrific person."

[@karengenest7481]

After watching T with Queen Elizabeth on the news, I was so embarrassed that I sent a written apology to the Embassy of the United Kingdom in D.C. regarding T's boorish behavior.

[@HansvandeBruggen]

Her Majesty's a pretty nice girl, but she doesn't have a lot to say.

[@mctavish199]

She is not allowed to comment publicly on political matters. Take care of Wilders, mate, before you comment about the Queen.

[@duncan0094]

Hans van de Bruggen I wanna tell her that I love her a lot but i gotta get a belly full of wine 😁

[@rasmie8858]

Hey, remember that time Trump insulted Justin Trudeau for "talking behind his back" only when he left? Oh the irony...

[@mindlessgonzo]

This is why we shouldn't use the presidency as some popularity contest, like Prom Queen!

[@MartinPoulter]

Exactly. Anyone campaigning to be President is applying for a job: a job serving the American people. They'd better demonstrate the competence to do the job and that they serve no-one before the people; not their own corporation, not a foreign enemy- no one. It's a travesty that there are voters who decide either for or against a candidate based on crappy memes or on seeing that guy pretending to run a business on TV.

[@daniabeck9539]

He lost the popular vote tho.. So hes not even prom queen..

[@greenbamboo777]

Was in the audience today! Thanks for a great show Stephen!

[@acciousername6776]

Who was that savage troll that turned down the lights!!? C'mon it can't be a coincidence... my guess is the Secret Service agents lol

[@elPichirri]

So true!! Trump believes in diplomacy not hostility, unless you’re from México, Canada, Germany, Australia, from the middle east, from africa, china and any other former usa ally but other than that best diplomacy ever!

[@Slimdulla87]

People please get out and vote in November and vote these Republicans out of office

[@artmercines9556]

Oh my God United States, why do you have a president like this!

[@thoughtlesskills]

Because we are the best nation ever, period. ;)

[@mynameisvna]

Because some morons thought he would make America great again. He makes me sick!

[@Charlie-kn7zg]

He's a pathological liar and an incredibly stupid individual, most people accept this. But they still voted for this vulgar character, question is why? It's because the left adopted the far-left stance of identity politics .. i.e -- you're a straight white male , therefore your opinion is irrelevant / doesn't count, because you're not scoring high enough on our oppressed scale. Saying stuff like critiquing the ideology of Islam makes you a racist bigot but critiquing the ideology of Christianity is fine ..... it was drivel like this that directly lead to the Trump victory!

[@evejane5795]

lol kay

[@greyeaglem]

Because the US likes to flaunt it's stupidity.

[@TameTusker]

The US has gone freakin' crazy...led by this dotard! :)

[@corey2232]

TameTusker Silly don't lump us all in with this nut.

[@TameTusker]

I am a Canadian and as a kid growing up in my backcountry, India I was addicted to Walt Disney cartoons. I guess this is the latest in US entertainment for the world.:) I really don't think all Americans are crazy but I just wonder how did in heaven's name did this guy get elected?

[@TameTusker]

Look into an ad clip from India " tea for Trump" quite amusing really?:) It is available on KZbin.

[@gregorypdearth]

You seem to have the misconception that the majority of Americans voted for Trump. That isn't how this works.

[@KatrinaAune]

TameTusker Silly I love my country, but far as I can tell there is barely anything to be proud of. Stolen from the natives, then had slaves human trafficked in, then Britian funded both sides of the civil war. So who won, either way.... Morons, I am literally surrounded by Morons. I live in Southern Cali, technically mexico. in fact most people don't know it used to be Mexico all away up the fucking Oregon. The only war I see were fighting anymore now is a war on ignorance. some people so poor all they have is money, can't even afford a fucking a real education with billions and billions and billions and billions and billions and billions and billions of fucking dollars.

[@gbadesakin]

The numbers of books to be written about this administration.

[@ValerieJNorse]

I'm mentally casting the miniseries.

[@alainarchambault2331]

Trump would praise the fact that he`ll have the biggest presidential library to contain those books. He`ll be so proud he`ll place one of his Hotel signs on it.

[@andrasbiro3007]

Assuming there will be a future where those books can be written.

[@845835]

Do you remember when the super positve teacher would tell the entire class that when you grow up you can be anything you want including President and you would look over at that one kid eating his crayons and laugh...well who's laughing now!

[@gregdavidl647]

Colbert: sink Trump. We are all behind you

[@schlossneuschwanstein1801]

Greg David L , Trump is sinking himself. Stephen is just keeping us sane until it's all over. #BlueWave

[@1TalldrinkH2O]

Greg David L Stephen Colbert, " This is real fake news, not fake fake news."

[@rramales1]

Greg David L, we know, actually the whole world knows about the mentally ill cult45 minions that support the mentally ill clown, we know.

[@piertinence]

Trumpists will be behind treasonous lying crooked Trump no matter what.

[@1970sau]

rramales1 that means a lot of Obama supporters and voters are mentally ill too

[@NewMessage]

"It could be Russia, or somebody else..." Y'know.. cause there's good people on both sides. *Cough*

[@kristi2473]

And we proudly present the Gaslighter-in-Chief!

[@devalopr]

Did he really think he can get away with this "correction" when the rest of his statements support 'it isn't Russia' narrative?

[@Lobishomem]

3d tech One just had to observe his body language. He looked like a little boy receiving a ball from his big strong daddy. The gratitude almost brought him to tears. His boss is such a nice man and he felt so honored to share the same stage. GOP (Government of Putin) continues to tremble and drool over the so called president.

[@CButtonshaw]

not to mention he had to read the correction off a piece of paper.