Bret Ernst - Babysitter Brawl - This Is Not Happening - Uncensored

[@standup]

Ready to rumble? Check out the craziest fight stories from This Is Not Happening here: kzbin.info/aero/PLD7nPL1U-R5oyyo90i2VkGb7ImrDKdYBg

[@nebketis8674]

"2 fillet of fishes and No therapy"

[@stephontaylor9605]

That part really got me

[@hannaha922]

That's what every 80s kid wish they got XD

[@Limitedtimefordeath]

Meeeeeee

[@justsomeguy2663]

That's a satisfactory ending

[@Zadakleader635IvanTheRobot]

i started clapping when he said that

[@tategibbs655]

"I'm cryin', because, I know we ain't goin' to McDonald's, now." Had me crying.

[@vanessacruz3009]

badum---TSSS

[@daffyduck2979]

I would just like to say I was the 1,000 like

[@justhappenedtobeoverhere714]

Because it was so sad or because it was so funny?

[@Danazstr]

I cant breathe

[@joey3336]

WE'RE GOING TO MCDONALDS

[@aarod5849]

i hate how i have to skip the first minute of every one of these so the best joke isn't ruined.

[@lordhuebi]

i feel you but this wasn't even close to the best joke

[@Olathaen]

just press L 4 times and the show starts...

[@linuxd]

Aixxad yeah!!!

[@justing.8198]

press all 3 keys at the same time, ctrl alt and the downward arrow key. that will auto skip the intro every time

[@Able_Hotel42]

j griff dude......... we watch this on our phone, what are a god damn pilgrim

[@jeuryveloz6011]

How did 12 minutes just fly by like that?

[@klebeau4]

fareal im hella mad the stories already over

[@Cyge240sx]

+Jeury Veloz long story boring? im sure it wasn't as boring as he said.

[@jeuryveloz6011]

Cyge Firstcaste​im saying that i didn't even notice the time passing by because i was so engaged in his story.

[@Cyge240sx]

i know agreed. i was just saying i bet there was a lot of funny stuff in between the cops coming and the ax falling lol

[@tdot7084]

same i was so interested in his story

[@prod6mill.512]

I've never heard a comedian be as spot on as the "axe handle with the tape" bit holy shit

[@arthurbartosiewicz6395]

ya know... for grip.. lost my shit on that one haha

[@cosmovedder1354]

Whenever Joaquin Phoenix dies, this guy can play him in a biography made for tv movie

[@maluorno]

CGI generated hair-lip

[@opaqueandbluefrommyphone4339]

maluorno he actually has a cleft palate. That's what the the thing over his lip is, he never got it fixed. Luckily it isn't that bad, so it just looks like a mole or hair. Crazy right? Look up pictures of cleft palate, his is barely visible.

[@SadfoxGuyver]

Plus 39 lbs

[@LadyVoldemort]

I was thinking that he resembles Joaquin so much so I'm happy to see your comment... 👍

[@lisapoole1219]

Yes!

[@andrewroc30]

I thought he was just going to take the axe and scream at her to get out or else... but HOLY SHIT HE JUST PUT AN AXE IN HER LEG

[@priscillanotpresley]

Don’t underestimate the family bond lol. When my baby brother (4th sibling) was being delivered my younger brother,sister and I (we were 7,5,4) were in the hospital daycare. Some big kid hit my baby sister and my brother and I just looked at each other and pounced on the boy, they had to peel us off him and my dad had to come get us lol

[@DannySullivanMusic]

lolll amazing comment

[@somedude3443]

"Aw c'mon, I was like 6, there wasn't any torque behind it!"

[@alecrichards8574]

Hahah me too... but then again, if he only threatened her with it I don't think she would have taken him seriously. She would then probably try to intimidate him, he'd stand his ground, but now she gets up prepared to take the axe and bully and punish him. HE HAD TO TAKE THE ELEMENT OF SURPRISE WHILE HE COULD Smart kid pretty messed up story though. Little man stood up for his brother

[@sithonsithon1012]

He said there was a big spray of blood . If he hit her femoral artery , he could have killed her.

[@mkilic10]

this was the one of the best shows I have ever seen. He changed my emotion state fast as hell. I laughed, felt sad, almost crying, got angry and laughed again.

[@DinoDzine]

This might be the best one yet LMFAO his closer was legendary

[@SeanOMatic]

+drovvse Yeah, it's definitely up there.

[@khadijahchaney5767]

Mexicans got on boots.

[@titanicgosling1216]

Sophisticatedphunkvintage Khadijah where's Cici I got a whole can of coffee

[@rodriguezpro2012]

CC!

[@joew.4073]

You know this dude's ready tho

[@matthewjackson7671]

Big Boi 88 it was a personal knife then he had 3 bags of coffee then it was business

[@IAM1OUTOF60]

So does the riot happen in here ???? 😂😂😂😂😂

[@professordick4868]

My mom worked at McDonalds in the 70's. That was one of the happiest times in my life..❤❤❤❤

[@Iwasthewalrus]

One of the best stories yet!

[@vickielawson3114]

I HAVE known a person who would do the silent word repeating thing! I laughed my ass off when he mentioned that! I've NEVER heard another person mention that and I've only seen that one person do it. It's weird stuff.

[@albetudo9313]

they're probably autistic.

[@Alkoholic666]

I also silently repeated myself from the age of about 13 until I was almost 15... Making myself stop doing it is still to this day one of the hardest things I’ve ever done! I’d speak and then force myself to not repeat the words. Seems simple, but the desire/need to repeat the words was unbelievably strong and damn near torture! Like a drug addict needing their fix... Through will power, shear determination and time I was eventually able to stop. I’d hate to have to go through that experience again, it was brutal! I’ve never met or heard of another person who did this until today. It’s been 30 years and I’d forgotten all about ever doing it myself. I hope it doesn’t trigger a relapse! Hahahah! Cheers!

[@jaxosaurus5383]

My brother used to do it.

[@KickyFut]

(...used to do it.)😒

[@michaelwandell2533]

Vickie Lawson? From TN?

[@joshuabolin4440]

This guy is a natural! A++

[@jok2440]

Probably the best story of the series.

[@mikhailgibbings]

That may be the most triumphant story I've ever heard.

[@CuriousGoodsJessica]

"HERE'S where the story gets f'd up"... yeah, I think it was f'd up long before that! This is awesome, because at 6 years old you can't be responsible for your actions when the babysitter punches your brother, DAMN! How his eyes got crazy when he said he was grandpa & "I wanna make sure she's ok" 👀 HA!

[@ricksanchez4813]

Yeah he fuckin nailed that

[@Baleur]

Cant be responsible for chopping someones leg with an axe? are you shitting me? That little kid should be beaten senseless.

[@zachary939]

I really don't wanna say that kid did the right thing, but that kid did the right thing. Punch a defenseless nine year old in the face, a six year old gets to hit you in the leg with a hatchet. That seems completely reasonable to me.

[@humixmusic4lyf]

I laughed so hard when he got the crazy eyes. I already knew his grandad want going over there to check ‘if she’s okay’

[@brandonreece4967]

@@Baleur are you still this dumb

[@khalilhopkins5014]

one of my new favorites

[@corpse74]

this guy very quickly came in my top 10. he has a 1 hour special thats absolutely great and free on youtube. he NEEDS more recognition and a Netflix special

[@JonnyVerace]

theres nothing better than being an italian and hearing another italian tell a story that literally can relate to almost everything you grew up too

[@idkybily]

I think this is my fave comment ever on the internet because its what i think & feel the most but needed to hear someone else say it to have the proof its true. The way Italian Millennial kids grew up is so special & unique 🙌🏻

[@DaveSP196]

One of the best I've ever seen

[@psych1134]

God I love it when an amazing story ends on such a victory moment. “We’re going to McDonald’s!” I replayed that like three times.

[@YueClaudia]

I don't know why but this guy reminds me of Ray Liotta in Goodfellas xD pretty cool story!

[@littlebird3167]

When he first said "switch" I immediately thought of someone who is both dominant and submissive... The internet has ruined me.

[@stevenpaz6141]

I thought of Nintendo switch 😂😂

[@jefft9512]

"You know what you have to do!" Haha classic

[@lukeperry8407]

This dudes story telling is next level

[@dravenocklost4253]

What an awesome and supportive and a bit disheveled grandfather

[@TheNitinshyam]

The best story iv heard till now ,damn crazy lmao

[@bobnlouie]

One of the best stories I've seen on here. Brilliant.

[@elfartbag8403]

I've broke off many of switches when I was a kid... because I'm from the south and that shit is true 😂

[@fabian6087]

I just have to ask: What the fck kinda branch you're going for in that situation? The extra thin ones hurt like hell if you're whipped with them right? But the extra large ones have a punch of their own right? So are you just going for the thickest one you're able to rip off?

[@moarroz]

@@fabian6087 if you go for a thin one best believe they are about to go find you the meanest thickest one out there and break it over you. You just wanna grab one as quick as possible...The hesitation on picking is what makes it worse...cuz they know you are out there plotting on the best branch...just grab and go...don't grab a skinny one or the hurtin' be worse lol

[@moarroz]

@@fabian6087 But if you pick a small one and they give you the choice to pick again YOU BETTER not pick the biggest and baddest one or you are gonna get it broken off on your ass for sass'N them 😂😟💥

[@ricaivory6571]

@@fabian6087 we used to just go for the middle branches bcuz they wasn't thin enough to really hurt, but they not big enough to kill you either 😂😂😂😂 it's worse when they used to soak em in water so they don't break up, but they stopped doin that long ago lol.

[@Shewhomustnotbenamed-bw8yv]

Shit, I live in the midwest and I had to do that shit at my grandmas. She made us pick from the willow because the switches were flexible like little whips, wrap around your whole leg and leave a welt

[@stapuft]

Wow.....I've refused to get a switch before, but I've never locked them out when they went to grab it.....that takes balls....

[@suzanneh975]

I take it you're from the south. So Im sure you understand when I say we KNEW what we would get when the parents came home And that's why we never did anything as ballsy as that 😂

[@Curiouswasabi]

The Whole story is about his big ballz

[@ramoneshakes8619]

You told a good story........ I'll take you to McDonalds after

[@josecolon5750]

bro...three shakes rule also applies to writing.

[@SkylarRuloff]

+ramone shakes Fuck, I'd buy him 3 fillet o fishes for that story.

[@bl6516]

Best episode ever.

[@swarmk5809]

Fucking best story so far on This is Not Happening !

[@TheShadowofsparta]

But Mexican got on boots. True though, it is funny

[@joshridgley7262]

This one, Mexican Got On Boots and the Obese Nightclub Brawl are the standouts for me so far

[@rickythompson1402]

@@joshridgley7262 who tells the nightclub brawl???

[@Alkoholic666]

Apparently you haven’t watched any of Joey Diaz’s stories... If not, do yourself a favor and check him out! Excellent story teller and seriously great stories! The man has lived one hell of a life... And I agree, this was definitely one of the best stories on TINH!

[@Schnitz13]

Truth!

[@randytheracer3664]

AND I GOT 2 FILLET O FISHES AND NO THERAPY this is now my favorite one

[@kaytlynkoala199]

this is my favorite story of all time

[@brwler1]

man........this was the best one on this series so far

[@stevencandelaria909]

Wow, one of the best ones I've seen!

[@28happenstance]

This should have at least 1 million views. So good.

[@bayballer1657]

Messicans got on boots is now the 2nd best. Bret "the ginzaloon" Ernst just took the top spot.

[@markvickroy6725]

Bay Baller gindaloon, dummy

[@josehasing1495]

in glad I discovered this guy his bit on jersey guidos is so.funny

[@jayoliver3002]

BEST STORY EVER!!!!!

[@mcdizzlefletch6302]

By far best one yet… think I’ve watch all of these

[@gradysmith9992]

This was a really good one. Always look forward to new episodes of This is Not Happening.

[@TheDudeman42]

This series is really great!

[@JaseekaRawr]

This dude is fucking hilarious! And has a face you can fall in love with. ;) Anyway, I was surprised that basically the entire audience didn't know what a switch was! I guess it's a old school Southern/East coast thing.

[@DustinRodriguez1_0]

I think it might have been context. I know exactly what a switch is, but the word switch has many meanings. When he said 'do you know what a switch is?' my first thought was 'how can he be talking about a gay man who both bottoms and tops?'

[@JaseekaRawr]

Dustin Rodriguez Lmao! That's a new one I haven't heard. Very interesting, new meaning...

[@chrish5224]

Nah! It's a generational thing. Both my parents grew up on west coast and have told me many a story about having to pick out a switch or they got the belt.

[@evilcam]

This was excellent. Brent not only had a spectacular story to tell, but he delivered and sold it really well. Like Joey Diaz levels of emphasis. The crowd was much more lively than they usually are too. Everything was top notch and made this one of the best episodes so far. Oh, and Brent's grandfather was a fucking boss.

[@All-Hail-Gayle]

I love his punch sound effect. I love his storytelling. I also had foot times at the PlayPlace. "Long story boring" is amazing

[@medicbabe2ID]

I've watched this probably 30 times. Never gets old! 🤣 #Filetofishes

[@JayJay-jn6gl]

Watch "the washy wash" Buy Tommy Pope I watched that like 40 times too and it never gets old either lmao

[@lightbender5605]

My favorite story EVER!

[@frenzy1225]

that was a fucking great story

[@BikePackingPleb]

One of my favorite bits. Great story.

[@Timocracy]

3:11 Diaz laughing?

[@Slickjitz]

Yup, good ear

[@flygonkick93]

definitely lol I'd recognize that laugh anywhere

[@mrhfrc8470]

This is one of the best I've seen so far

[@one-eyedwilly8835]

One of the best ones yet

[@matthewhaley4147]

I really hated the first half of the story....... ....but I'm glad I sat through it because it lead to such a great ending. Thumbs up from me.

[@mthlay15]

@@PatternLand hey mark, read the fucking comment again you dweeb. I said "thumbs up" and this is the important part "*FROM* me"

[@chrispuletz2946]

This was one of the best ones.

[@mbl102]

This is one of the best stories I've heard so far!

[@jitterg]

loved this one the best so far. so awesome

[@DemocracyManifest]

This is one of the better clips, dude is funny as heck and tells a great story

[@juliolopez-vc5eg]

That smirk where, "I just want to make sure she's ok". . . priceless

[@TearLilyd]

I love bret Ernst! I wished he had more videos out there. he is hilarious! this story was surprising though.

[@rdub9020]

This might be the best one of the entire "this is not happening" series

[@abggk2]

1:32 The girl in the right down corner looks like Whitney Westgate... u r welCOME

[@stavalyao.4922]

This is THE MOST RELATABLE story i have seen on TINH glad it exists

[@npc1172]

WE'RE GOING TO MCDONALD'S 😂😂😂

[@miguelthomas274]

KILLER delivery!

[@ABadassDragon]

Something my uncle taught me, when they send for a switch break the branch a bit, so when they hit the hand it breaks. 1960s life hacks 😅

[@carterdcomedy]

I get to open for this man and I’m so excited

[@mrsimeonides]

Best episode ever?

[@rymichelle6550]

soo funny I wish I could find more stuff with him!!

[@CHA0S69er]

omg he killed it! this is my favorite of em all

[@salehrokayak5257]

This one is my favorite so far probably

[@bsilkwood8272]

Kept thinking of lightly fried fish fillets.

[@kolbykauffman4180]

Yo. This is the best one I've found yet. And I flat-out binge TINH for hours.

[@roberticus420]

oh my god i nearly pissed myself

[@aidangoot2362]

i saw his hour special on his account before this and it’s crazy how well he tells this story iver and over and never fails to say jt right

[@KicksAndSnares92]

Run The Jewels!

[@coliedeekenzo]

This is still one of the best stories!

[@klebeau4]

i can put this in the top 5 T.I.N.H. stories good shit

[@klebeau4]

***** yessir youre on point those r my other favorites too

[@kailawrence2966]

+NOTXOA id also throw in Jeff Dye stealing the jersey, Jon Huck's pants, and Joe Rogan and the stripper

[@klebeau4]

Kai Lawrence stolen jersey yeaa

[@devynguitnwr1766]

Mid roll ads in the middle of a punchline is dope and doesn't ruin the material.

[@josiahlikestodance]

Yo this was insane and hilarious

[@Iluvrocket]

This show is great

[@mariabrowne8103]

I was taking a shot when they locked out ant face and laughed so hard it came out of my nose. I don't think my sinuses will ever be the same

[@spazzdineveryway]

I love this story!! Family first, always!!

[@robins.9700]

love love LOVE this story!!

[@evelyngottita]

That story was amazing!

[@dillabean4183]

The roller skating bit he did years ago is fucking amazing.

[@paragonnina]

*his delivery is excellent. i was giggling like a japanese school girl for 12 consecutive minutes*

[@colleenlancaster7799]

best episode ever!!

[@snewcomer22]

I’m thinking that no therapy thing might need to be revisited 🙂

[@Sysyphony]

This is still one of the best stories in this show

[@DAlexKablack]

I noticed some of these audience members from other episodes, they're lucky to see such good comedians.

[@ZeacorZeppelin]

sometimes you have to cut a ***** to go to McDonald's

[@mcmamamm]

💯🍔🍟😂😂

[@RaymondLopezaleman]

Made me feel like a kid again! Just amazing @BretErnst

[@ltcrutch1440]

this might be the best guest ever!

[@SausosiosIsrugos]

damn, what a masterpiece!

[@subgrappling805]

That was a great story...one of the best yet on Ari's show imho...right up there with Big Jay's stories!

[@rabbitss11]

fillet 'o fish! I kept thinking 'flayofish' what's flayofish?, lol