DeRay Davis - Don't Call Mom - This Is Not Happening - Uncensored

DeRay Davis comes up with a plan to steal a pair of sneakers from Kmart, with some help from a man on the inside.
Follow DeRay Davis on Twitter: / deraydavis
About This Is Not Happening:
Now hosted by Roy Wood Jr., This Is Not Happening features long-form storytelling from stand-up comedians, musicians and more. These outrageous stories show why real-life experiences always make the best material.
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[@standup]

Think your family is messed up? Think again. Watch comedians share their most ridiculous family stories on “This Is Not Happening:” kzbin.info/aero/PLD7nPL1U-R5pgIBSOJV-fL4uIWR-DZbfI

[@ladydva6841]

My turn!! 🙋I cannot wait to share my real life stories. Horrifically funny. Judge for yourself. 🤗

[@beisypizarro8964]

@@ladydva6841 ,~`~`

[@Burning_Babylon]

Pls stop these intros. If you added a skip into button . Analytics would show 9 out of ten will press it

[@CidsReality]

"Why ain't you tell your momma!?" "OK, I'll tell her, but I'm giving her your new number" "I'M ON MY WAY!" 😂😂😂 this man is hilarious

[@AmberAmbwee]

CidsReality 😂😂 I died

[@laugh_til_ithurts]

😭😭😭😭😭😭

[@theresashaw5027]

💀

[@rodhardy838]

💀💀💀💀

[@klounpound6945]

Shit. It be like that sometimes

[@lailariley469]

“Why you stealing anyway, I work for the CITY” “Well I don’t know that because you don’t pay child support”💀

[@permafrost0979]

Omg, so many layers to this story, lol! Juvenile delinquency, deadbeat dads, blended families, talent jeopardized by poverty. Could a been tragic but it was hilarious!

[@permafrost0979]

Merlin D. Wizzard really? That's all you got from this story? Nothing about him running track in winter boots, or the interactions with his parents, the absurdity of being accused of stealing "snickers" for some reason, the horror of his uncle gifting him crack instead of money, the casual way they got s crack addict to help them in exchange for drugs? It's all sad and disturbing, but it's in the past and he turned out ok. Tragedy plus time, man.

[@lolitahendrix402]

Perma Frost 😊

[@Potentialaj]

Perma Frost exactly!! It's a blessing Deray had made it so far!!!

[@crystal11507]

Of course you know nothing of. Poverty. His mom was a crack head and would talk down to him. He had a pretty fucked up life. People steal who don’t have any thing. Who don’t have parents to rely on, no money. If you don’t understand this you are a fucking dummy. People with silver spoons don’t have to steal because they easily get this shit with out asking. That’s privilege.

[@janesmith7346]

Laughter thru the tears😢😃😶

[@yaipr12pr40]

DeRay has been a underrated comic for the longest.. he funny as fk 😂😂😂

[@jacobwalls452]

YaiPR12 PR this story sucked though

[@jacobwalls452]

Chuk Stek I just didn't think it was that funny of a story...maybe it was his delivery

[@yellowdart6666]

i got cds!!! dvds!!!! hey!!! where is my uterus!!! lol.

[@spettit2011]

Jacob it is his delivery. Fast speech with terrible body language.

[@HH-gv8mx]

I thought it was funny AF. A very similar thing happened to me-- but I ended up goin to jail. Best advice is to cut rug and run like hell because that arrest stays on your record forever! Even if it's only for a $20 pair of gloves that charge will haunt you with every future job prospect, nursing school, etc etc

[@DaRealH2]

Sad part about this story is that it's true...funny part about this story, is that it's true!

[@tiptip5491]

Right!

[@angelgomez965]

That's what comedy is man find the humor is the fucked up situations

[@Deenique16]

@Sundiata Keita he actually talks about it in Interviews. One of his first sexual experiences was with an older woman when he was child. Shame.

[@davismatseas9766]

Sundiata Keita partially true probably

[@whousingthisyeahbuddy8742]

NeickhaSuPRA that’s so sad that’s child molestation

[@austindorf83]

DeRay looks like a much happier Ice Cube

[@highhaloguy806]

austindorf83 lol

[@DeadlyWhisper]

Lunchlady Steve 😂

[@darknessavenger6441]

Ha Nice one

[@jasongarcia9614]

Lunchlady Steve lol 😁😁

[@yattaguru]

Underrated comment. 😏 Someone get this man a cookie.

[@pauldavisjr.3284]

So what i've learned from this video is that everyone was afraid of DeRay's mom.😂😂😂

[@AkaFigga]

The joke is: niggas who don't pay child support will do anything to avoid contact with the mother of the child, so he went to pick up DeRay no matter what.

[@egleliubiniene7281]

@@charlesgordon5156 yu8

[@sancam8554]

@@AkaFigga food for thought

[@Netherwolf6100]

In the early 90's and before, everyone was scared of black moms. Now, not to much because most hood moms suck these days...

[@CrimeSheTyped]

This was actually really good and he wasn’t forcing any extra cursing or vulgar language which is always impressive a lot of comedians over do it with that stuff just for the culture and it starts sounding corny

[@jmalibu7617]

Crime.She.Typed true that

[@thottydagod457]

Joey Diaz does it...but i promise its natural as fuck for him.. thats bgh his personality

[@nismokali]

Thotty DaGod It’s funny that you said that cause he’s the first person that I thought of when I read this comment. That’s how he talks but sometimes he over does it and it’s not as funny.

[@thottydagod457]

@@nismokali I normally get past it..because I know he isnt forcing it even though it seems like it

[@brysonpotter8486]

Best part is when he said I’m give mom your new number 😂

[@msthang5366]

Bryson Potter NERP!!🤣🤣😂😂🤣🤣😂

[@Potentialaj]

Bryson Potter HELL YES!!! He was smart ass hell!!!

[@lr8719]

"Crackhead will pull off..." "YEP!"

[@taniyagreen5380]

l r he ought to know cuz he was a crack baby

[@courtneyclark286]

I heard that too lmbo i was like, how does that audience member know? Lololol

[@BRENENHARRIS]

Courtney Clark we all grew up the same lmaoo

[@REDRUMSTJAMES]

NAH!! U WAIT ON UR DADDY U DON'T KNOW 🤣😂😆

[@msthang5366]

RED RUM ST.JAMES THAT KILT ME

[@seananomie]

Great story. After the snicker's accusation, I spent the rest of the piece on the edge of my seat waiting to see if he would get away with the shoes. :D

[@AE-ix2iz]

“Naw you wait on yo daddy you don’t know” 😂

[@ILOVEMARILYNMANSON89]

I don't condone stealing, but he earned those shoes lol.

[@bigsawdust4726]

He literally didn’t have shoes bruh.

[@Khoros-Mythos]

@@bigsawdust4726 And?

[@howardwayne8288]

"Why you didn't tell yo mama?..." -"Alright.... I'ma tell her..... But I'ma give her yo new number....." -"I'M ON MY WAY!!!!" 😂😂😂😂

[@alexmandabach7203]

DeRay telling stories is when he's at his best!!

[@chiquishaf]

One of my favorite comedians in this generation

[@chrismoreno2394]

DeRay's getto life stories are the best.

[@Potentialaj]

Chris Moreno I've never listened to his stand up. He had stories more ghetto than this??? I don't think I can fucking take it

[@ericag5346]

@@Potentialaj considering you can spell ghetto I think you can handle it 😉

[@calisongbird]

Chris Moreno *ghetto

[@blinkth3dog]

"You wait on your daddy you don't know" under rated line

[@bhocolatebhipbookie3967]

DeRay has always been hilarious, and he's fine!!

[@msthang5366]

Linda R Zaddy

[@sr_chunli]

He’s so funny but why is no one talking about how fine he is!

[@deborahrichardson2014]

Majesty ِ Girl, i am, hes too damn fine!!!

[@laurenharris9832]

Cuz he BEEN fine 😂

[@mr.m7791]

DeRay been around for damn year 20 years. Man is over 50 years old. Women BEEN loved this dude, you just young 😂

[@KristianMSings]

@@mr.m7791 Lmao he’s not even 40 years old yet😂😂😂

[@asmauzurmi7547]

@@mr.m7791 he is NOT 50.

[@ceejejackson1909]

“It hasn’t reached it’s full potential” 🤣🤣🤣

[@antwaingray7707]

Chicago has some of the funniest comedians

[@jessicamoton7545]

His dad not being around makes me sad. Glad he's doing what he loves.

[@dafullclip]

Proud to say, he's Chicago's very own. Get'em DeRaY!

[@JFL92989]

Laughing about incredibly sad circumstances.

[@JAVONEETHEMOMMY]

John that's comedy

[@klounpound6945]

Tf was sad about it. It's not like a puppy had it's eyeball ripped out.

[@vibewithkey4350]

@@klounpound6945 His uncle gave him crack to sell.

[@klounpound6945]

@@vibewithkey4350 that's not sad tho. It's a shitty situation sure. But not sad.

[@vibewithkey4350]

@@klounpound6945 Sadness is subjective, I'm not particularly sad about it but it is a fucked up situation and I understand why someone will be sad hearing that. You're teaching a kid it's okay to sell crack, that can fuck up his future.

[@itsfreddie7132]

This is where parents mess up, the more you're stingy towards your child the worse they will turn out, my guardians quit giving me money when I was 13 and when you live in London it's not possible to get a job, so I went into drug dealing and it lead to worse shit and almost cost me my life and freedom. Here's a tip, there's a difference between spooling and depriving your kids of everything.

[@itsfreddie7132]

Spoiling*

[@jahneastanfield2662]

🎻

[@ShockwaveITB]

It's not being stingy bro they were poor. His mom couldn't afford to give him new sneakers. I agree with you parents shouldn't be stingy, but you have to look at the context of this situation and many situations like it around the world.

[@itsfreddie7132]

@@ShockwaveITB Being poor isn't even a factor, if you're a parent and cant afford shoes, dont have a kid?

[@ShockwaveITB]

@@itsfreddie7132 You can say that but it happens all the time. Sometimes people were young, sometimes they had a comfortable life and lost their job, sometimes they don't think about that. It just happens. And when it does sometimes they can't afford shoes for extra curricula activities so that the kid can eat.

[@dizzyformayor9898]

Very underrated comic!

[@deshaundozier]

DeRay been funny for years

[@JevityRecords]

Deray my favorite and im glad i got to tell him myself when i met him in person when he was still an upcoming comedian. He stood outside and entertained the crowd coming in, and dapped you up and spoke like anybody you know from the block. Real ass cool cat

[@harvident5703]

I remember having to steal shoes bc we didnt have a lot of money. This is so funny to me bc I can relate on so many levels

[@willievalentine7661]

💯

[@kingayy9267]

I hope you're doing better now.

[@CiluhStyle1]

He so underrated man i love this dude

[@dennesey]

Never thought I'd see Double D here! Always a good time!!

[@_MissLoLo]

Stole on!

[@bosladyspatrice2246]

Seen DeRay before at a comedy show he is hilarious 😂

[@danboyle116]

That was funnier than hell. Great story.

[@marja553]

Man, that is some hustle. Great story!

[@nartyteek]

I feel like he straight-up stole my childhood diary. Too relatable!

[@nbagrandpa2656]

"Nah, you wait on yo daddy, you don't know". DEAD!

[@littlesarahautism9787]

LMFAOOOO love DeRay omg Hilarious😂😂😂😂

[@FinessseJu]

Deray is underrated

[@jordansutton2781]

I remember this guy back in the day talking about pimp proofing your house lol

[@wvudak06]

i worked security at kmart once just for the nostalgia, it was like being in the 90s again

[@mrpink3630]

now its like being in a meth zombie land.

[@mnrfrn7656]

i went on wikipedia and they saying DeRay is 50 yrs old !!!!!

[@noemiburns6470]

Even though this was so dysfunctional it made me smile cuz I felt normal for a second about my life

[@davestewart6939]

This Dude is so frickin funnyc

[@kingayy9267]

DeRay's friends are lucky to get to listen to him tell stories when they hang out. He is absolutely hilarious and has pretty eyes, too!

[@KD-fq5yy]

Pretty sure the store knew about the “sneakers,” but that the accusation came across as “snickers.”

[@msboss4865]

Probably not over here in Chicago we don’t call them sneakers we call them gym shoes. He used sneakers so the audience could relate.

[@MRWDL800]

Then how did he get out with them. Mmhmm

[@treasuretrez7656]

I JUST LOVE ME SOME DERAY!!! I THINK HE'S SO DAMN GRATEFUL AND HUMBLE. AND I LOVE THAT ABOUT HIM🖤

[@music_istherapy8860]

I love these, they are so real & authentic

[@brysonpotter8486]

That’s how u ask in a black house 😂😂

[@msfranklin2650]

I LOVE ME SOME DERAY HE'S ADORABLE.....HIS STORY DELIVERY IS EPIC 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

[@huyivant5190]

Leonard from Boondocks, they way he was explaining situations gave it away

[@westwardpomonagyrl4358]

Damn all that for some Kmart skippies,Champions

[@MariaGarcia-vw7kj]

Deray has the most beautiful eyes

[@leongillespie9095]

DeRay funny no matter what

[@OhhMySabina]

I stan for DeRay 😂😂❤️❤️🙌🏾

[@Mook302]

That was halarious

[@Domeng09]

Soooo sad and hilarious at the same time

[@rafthethinker4948]

Omg best story ever 😂😂😂

[@keithcrockett9954]

DeRay looks good for a 50 yr 👴🏽

[@carolynnewantstocomment7467]

Damn, he is 50, I am 48, I look like I could be his mother....

[@saywhatYADIG]

That nigga 38!

[@philsmith8306]

DeRay is a stand-up legend 🙌

[@oz9213]

one of the best

[@LacyBeee]

I hope Corey Holcomb gets a "This Is Not Happening" special

[@reinaldopessoa2603]

LacyBeee yo that would be epic!!

[@stashem89]

Corey Holcomb is blacklisted in th comedy circuit

[@AshisogiiJizo]

Wait, really? For what?

[@stashem89]

Constantly calling out homosexuals in Hollywood , watch Corey holcombs 5150 show , shit is hilarious

[@kingmidas9321]

#5150NATION

[@melikiac]

Woww!! "Telling me things I don't even know" 🤣🤣🤣 Great storytelling

[@mustavogaia2655]

0:58

[@gavveymate2317]

Press 1

[@a3bmm594]

You deserve a Nobel price sir

[@ummmidunno8308]

Mustavo Gaia I love people like you! You save me from the bullshit!

[@gavveymate2317]

No love me instead im better!

[@ummmidunno8308]

Gavvey mate ok.. if you say so... but I don't get the press 1 reference..

[@dunmegatate5778]

Deray Davis' stand up comedy be having me rolling!😆😅😆

[@donettalowe9673]

Lol 😂 hes the black version of Sal Volcano

[@nsaxoxo]

Im your son!!! LMAO👏🏾👏🏾

[@Wakawakatiti]

Yup this just made my week. Awesome~

[@fernandezvalerie2001]

Great story!

[@TheGituku]

Perfect. Congratulations D Ray, perfect set. 110% to the last second when you walked out with the shoes

[@mrclean2022]

Killer story lmao! Never heard of this guy, but definitely going to check out his stand up now

[@littlebird3167]

OMG his special How To Act Black is one of the funnest things I've ever seen!

[@herpallday1284]

he kills it on the OG seasons of wild n out

[@angelgoddessvibes5364]

Chicago!

[@lugeiserot820]

This is so funny

[@Kleetus_Van_Damm]

I loved this video, great story!

[@bluedragonrob1]

THAT is how you tell a story. Well done!!!!

[@pamm5287]

DeRay Is Crazy, Love Roy Wood Jr. If You Are Not Following Him On Twitter You Really Need To, He Told A Story Yesterday That Was Hilarious & One Of The Best Things I've Read In A Long Time, I Laughed So Hard I Was Crying & Peed My Pants. 🤣

[@jamesdelcol3701]

I love DeRay Davis. Some funny jokes, screwin' around.

[@deborahrichardson2014]

TOTALLY UNDERATED! Funny as hell !

[@Quantum_GirlE]

I thought the only security was his family member. So how did he get caught? Maybe shift change? lol

[@crixus1160]

"Mexicans Got On Boots"

[@Ferbals]

Chi-Towns finest, baby! I damn love you, DeRay! Been a fan since the 90's, boo!❤

[@nononsense5182]

That woman asking DeRay if she could do a little "sumptin" No, I'm not ready down there for that yet!🤣 Good answer DeRay!! Glad & happy for this dude, he took his life situations and now making it work for him. You Rock!👌👏😉💙

[@TokyoKazama]

Low key, one of the best story tellers in the game

[@kylepowpow]

this dude had me cryiiiiing

[@jthrillz7288]

Deray funny as hell even his new standup is hilarious.

[@100ems-]

hilarious

[@DeepUndaInAmsterdam]

One of the greatest ever!

[@dozhadeville444]

COMEDY CENTRAL BETTER GIVE OG A WHOLE SHOW

[@tabormckee9639]

Nice story haha love to relate

[@lswilcoxon]

His smile is.... Everything

[@PennyPincherSlots]

Great story lol

[@davidhughes2290]

DeRay Davis is 51 years old wow

[@donnawillette2943]

I love him!!!

[@beingalive101]

The story is so funny and so sad I'm literally crying and laughing at the same time

[@darinaangelova2882]

That was some real shit right there...

[@juamlaris1425]

That was bad ass

[@slaymarie_rdh_ntraining]

It was funny but i felt pain too. I love Deray.