Sean Patton - Cumin - This Is Not Happening - Uncensored

[@standup]

Ready to rumble? Check out the craziest fight stories from This Is Not Happening here: kzbin.info/aero/PLD7nPL1U-R5oyyo90i2VkGb7ImrDKdYBg

[@w200build]

Can you get the blond girl out of the shots? I understand you place her but this is unbelievable.

[@themodernnomad4772]

Cumin

[@abbyschneider4644]

i lost it when he said "itll make it taste... like you rolled it in dirt, its not a good standalone spice" WHERES YOUR NETFLIX SPECIAL

[@joosepnilk6978]

Abby Schneider On Netflix?

[@gwmcroy3166]

REALLY? He was horrible at every delivery

[@KaotikArtPurrps]

@@gwmcroy3166 wtf you didn’t like this?!??! Who are you and where’s your sense of humor! This is HILARIOUS!!

[@HatedNelevated]

@@gwmcroy3166 how does it feel to have literally no sense of humor? I bet you're fun at parties

[@patches2221]

@@gwmcroy3166 where's your stand up vids?

[@5TailFox]

"Sheriff, how'd you get that boat on land?!" "I didn't. You got yo' truck in the water!" 😅

[@NEPFU]

Shawnee Longbow that laugh emoji is sweat like for a awkward situation use these ones 😂🤣😀😃😄😁😆

[@austincox5847]

sharky playzz thanks for teaching people to be hip, cool, and up to date with social networking

[@Datharass]

@@NEPFU you the emoji police?

[@corythegoat2745]

@@NEPFU but he lol, lol🤣

[@griffingooch1722]

Ain’t gonna lie I just learned differences of emojis thanks comment section

[@timokakoun4367]

"You just Peter Pan-ed me." I needed a couple of minutes to learn how to breath again after that.

[@1niyc6i8bxse]

@William Cervantes nice

[@kadrope]

that louisina accent deserved WAYYYYYYY more applause

[@peanutbuttawaffle]

kadrope then damn yuppies wouldn’t never understand bubba

[@FlowUrbanFlow]

@@peanutbuttawaffle eeeeeeeeeh

[@whatwasisaying1338]

I agree!

[@giggabiite4417]

Did it? I couldn't hear them every my laughter

[@MrSupercoolkid1998]

What's the French part he says at the end of that bit?

[@DirtyArcher]

This guy killed it love the Louisiana accent jokes too

[@marinabolla6266]

I had to turn captions on tbh

[@NotYetEst]

Build a wall around it

[@paddiemay6141]

HA Its not a terrible accent xD Lmao We have to use real life subtitles with people with some of our stronger accents

[@LordZevv]

@@marinabolla6266 you clearly haven't spent much time in the south lol

[@TheVamxie]

@@LordZevv Nobody wants to go to trailer trash country

[@holographicbunny3297]

“Whom did I move in with?” The grammar dragon in me is screaming (he got me with it, I’ve got to admit) but the troll in me is wildly impressed. I’ve been binging these all day and I’ve heard a few pretty subtle gags that I honestly think were more the performer than for us. That one was by far the best.

[@8SixSix3ISTwoICE]

It’s not correct though. 🙄

[@urioriari34]

@@8SixSix3ISTwoICE It is though.

[@neurohack9038]

Don’t you mean “Grammar Nazi?”

[@Psychol-Snooper]

@@neurohack9038 got'm

[@alison4316]

"With whom" would've been old-school correct.......but I'm an old dragon 🐉

[@jordanharrison249]

This comedy bit is incredibly structured

[@eps3154]

No, but really... this whole thing was amazing

[@eps3154]

So well written

[@cidfacetious3722]

Yep

[@tonyperez7812]

He’s a writer

[@wrarmatei]

the original comment is interpreted as criticism by a few...improv diehards...?

[@NatsuNaoIku]

The BEST part is how he swerves and doesn't go straight to the cumin when his roommate expects it, but takes a bypass back there, it's brilliantly evil

[@aick]

"Rousing the grammar dragons." I love it! Well done.

[@jasonlieberman4606]

Storytelling is one of the most impactful skills a stand-up comic can have at their disposal, and homeboy here has it in spades. This is the 4th time I've watched this performance, it's perfect

[@carterbraun2564]

"oh lord im cumin!" genius line, literally has three meanings, all funny in that situation. this guy is seriously one of my fav comics

[@Uarehere]

This is one of the best stories I've ever heard! A+++

[@Detinator247]

He's such a great storyteller!!!!!

[@mattgrosella969]

Smiles your profile pictures matches your comment.

[@TheBrob1983]

Look up his robo cop bit

[@JeffWarren47]

@@TheBrob1983 Serve the public trust and watch my Time Traveler set. I just started standup and want ur OPINION.Please SUBSCRIBE if u LOL. kzbin.info/www/bejne/oWbdgGpogLR1mKuV

[@jimwalker6634]

Like John Belushi and Jack Black

[@VyvienneEaux]

This is the best TED talk I've ever heard.

[@NaveeSeal]

Not sure what i learned though

[@dustypartition]

Some of the best stand up I've ever seen.

[@asimms113]

Tesseract

[@lutze5086]

Dusty Partition the funniest part of the bit was "whom". the rest was pretty meh

[@Nilruin]

The real treasure here is Sean himself. Any other comedian with that story would've blew it. He has the right blend of off-handed tangent and explanation.

[@faktovlog2558]

It's because it's like a friend telling you a story

[@mustang19ms]

really? it's your first stand-up video huh?

[@BodyMusicification]

This had me belly laughing more than any other story. My dad came in and asked if I was OK.

[@partykrew666]

wow that Louisiana accent bit was fucking pure gold

[@sofaking1472]

"Laissez les bons temps roulés!" Just fucking died !

[@dickhitswater4836]

@@sofaking1472 not a lot of stuff makes me audibly laugh loudly when all by myself but that one had me absolutely cracking up.

[@leah1412]

I laughed my ass off at this lmao I'm from New Orleans and as I was watching this I just happened to be putting Tony's on my eggs

[@elbolillo2703]

I thought that's where the cumin whent...

[@VincentGonzalezVeg]

More like "This is Nut Happening"

[@maktar5135]

@Keaton Barrett no underrated.

[@jimwalker6634]

This guy is giving me John Belushi vibes. He’s hilarious

[@theodosiabartowprevost9442]

“GO GO GO EVACUATE!!! SAVE THE SEED THE MOTHERSHIP IS IN DANGER!!!”

[@ya_b0ye868]

469th like. You're welcome.

[@ZeFluffyNuphkin]

496th like.

[@williamtate4339]

Dang it, I was #665.

[@a.s.h.5774]

His story on Vice, this great long story, and especially his gay friend coming out on the other one--- Sean Patton is freaking AMAZING at this niche of comedic storytelling. Super hilarious and amazingly pulls you into the stories.

[@derlycalza5949]

Hear his STD standup in Australia.shit is funny haha

[@TheBrob1983]

@@derlycalza5949 robocop😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

[@Gguy061]

I've been waiting for this guy's career to take off for the last decade

[@jaygroomes1357]

“If the first situation made me believe in god, the second made me believe that god was capable of bragging” I love that quote. That’s why I’m watching this again

[@man_on_wheelz]

I've never come back to a stand-up to re-watch it more than I have this one. I cry laughing every damn time! Cumin, cumin', come in, coming, he somehow snuck it all in there, just fantastic!

[@rgaud8]

Is this Tom Segura's and Zack Galifianikis' child?

[@ronwebbjr6735]

rgaud8 I’m so glad you said it 😂 I was thinking the same thing.

[@jordanbwalt]

Q from Impractical Jokers was the surrogate mother

[@GoodCookinAquarius]

No... I am, but I'm not funny.

[@simonvieytes6021]

I think its fat Scott Rogowsky

[@bonasty1990]

Holy Fucking Shit

[@denverluver2424]

Probably one of my favorite comedy stories! There had to have been three or four times that I thought it was over. Punchlines just kept rolling, get this man a special or a podcast.

[@saltandprepper5024]

No lie, I was making eggs this morning and someone had bought a box of tony's, a spice which I have never even heard of before the special. So I put them in my eggs and now I'm watching this and they are absolutely delicious.

[@Musistics]

This is the show that introduced me to Sean Patton. Love this concept.

[@silentjay01]

Listened to this at work. Really had to stifle my laughs so the other cubicle drones didn't hear. Almost lost it towards the end.

[@travistaylor6110]

How has no one mentioned that he properly used the word "whom" in a joke? "Ooo.... whom did I just move in with?"😂

[@rommierox]

This guy is one of the best comedians I've heard on this show.

[@shaneyjy]

I’ve watched this so many times over the years…it’s my favorite episode and never fails to make me laugh! 🤣🤣🤣

[@smcampanella04]

One of the best of the series top ten maybe top five.

[@federicoeiriz42]

what are the top 3?

[@georgebebeselea4411]

Federico Eiriz watch flying dildos and potential terrorism

[@escudonbk5177]

@@federicoeiriz42 Mitchell

[@JeffWarren47]

@@georgebebeselea4411 I just started standup and want ur OPINION.Please SUBSCRIBE if u LOL. kzbin.info/www/bejne/oWbdgGpogLR1mKuV

[@willkeene661]

This is one of the best bits I've ever seen

[@unknownranger1289]

15:51 ”I didn’t knock because you said come in” This is karma or better put by the office,”How the turn tables”

[@cheypepa766]

“...and they evaporate mid-cheek”😂😂I lost it Bruh! 😂 “ have you ever been frightened right as u begin”🤣🤣🤣 This dude funny af

[@MYOBNess]

"Oh God, I'm com..." I was literally on the floor dying about to say the same thing LMFAO!!!

[@thisguyoverhere4746]

3:31 "Laisser le bon temps rouler" Finally, after days of research, I found it!

[@williamb.j.blaskowicz.5664]

TRULY,TRULY ALL ABSOLUTELY BEYOND UNIMAGINABLY UNIMAGINABLE TRANSCENDENT TRANSCENDENTAL TRANSCENDING BOUNDLESSNESS LEVELS OF AMAZINGLY AMAZING AMAZINGNESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NICE, VERY NICE.

[@drpibisback7680]

"I'm disappointed too, I wish I spoke like that!"

[@amalgamaxx]

this guy is very very funny

[@eraldylli]

↑ this comment is very generic.

[@amalgamaxx]

+Erald Ylli what's wrong with that comment, you wouldn't want someone to say that about you also you can't tell tone from text

[@amalgamaxx]

+Erald Ylli 100% fuck you

[@maximillianschauer1439]

first of all we have same name lol. second of all watching this i was on the floor legit crying of laughter trying to brethe lmao.

[@LittleMark]

Always nice when someone reacts to a troll.

[@Halp88]

This is the best episode of this show period.

[@Grim420Reafer]

If any of this was real, this is one of my favorite stories. Every little part at the end added so much to it.

[@Orange-qe8hw]

Ive been watching these all day and this man was the funniest one, LOVE this guy

[@solodolotrevino]

Zach Galifinakis' cousin is hilarious

[@CullTheLivingFlower]

Andrei Arlovski may also be a distant relative.

[@zorantaylor3190]

Also knows as Bobby Moynihan's half-brother....

[@pasxidhs627]

@@CullTheLivingFlower i think Andreis' nose is more crooked than this guys hairline

[@Fighka303]

We need more of this dude

[@aminimoose3971]

Why are this man's eyes honestly beautiful?

[@jessicacraven1107]

Yes!!! My parents are from New Orleans and my entire family still lives there. When I took my husband to New Orleans for the first time he told me everyone sounds like a tired Yankee. I love that accent!

[@tbone9347]

do you put tony's on his ding ding

[@wickkidda]

Geez, that was epic.

[@roughryder5]

This is probably the best thing I've ever watched in the last 20 something years of my life. Not even kidding.

[@professoroak1920]

he's still my favorite comedian to this day

[@professoroak1920]

@@funzy101 he's still out there telling jokes and making people laugh. at this point, that's all that matters

[@arnoldsilva1111]

This is probably my favorite of all of these

[@matthewstephens6502]

its pronounce cumin and now you'll never forget!! lmfaooo!!!

[@Bmanritchie]

Matthew Stephens - Oh lord... I’m cumin!!

[@jeremiahdavis7904]

Kyoomin

[@SickBuckNaStY]

Its Pronounced Quemen...

[@erictaylor5863]

"sprinkle it on a crazy person and make him a friend"... and now I carry Tony's with me everywhere.

[@theyetti90]

As a New Orleans native, raised on the "King's English", the accent part is the best. I used to get that question a lot.

[@smzemperfi]

Hands-down one of the best story I’ve ever heard.

[@krystiankornilowicz4577]

i haven't laughed so hard in a while. like i am light headed

[@brendan4175]

This is my top 5 favorite episodes. Cumin lives rent free in my head

[@dudex765]

This series helped me make quarantine more bearable

[@ProjectRedfoot]

6:20 WITH WHOM DID I JUST MOVE IN GAWD!

[@itgetter9]

"Whom did I just move in with?" Love it. Been there!

[@AtilioEscobar]

He should've dropped that mic cause he one that show hands down.

[@williamcortelyou4524]

Vickie Lawson No, it's not you stupid fuck. As a white male proud of his descendants, I say this. Don't you dare give the Mike drop to the blacks. Obama may have done it brilliantly at the last Whitehouse roast, but that shit is awesome and belongs to the world. Also, you are a racist, if you didn't know.

[@MidwestDankAlumni]

Vickie Lawson fuckin bigot

[@magicalfungi3206]

lol... wait... who's racist? am i on the twilight zone's wifi?

[@colegrant8102]

yo i only watch this shit high and its taken me three tries to figure out how to read your comment

[@MTJack275]

Cole Grant hahahahaha

[@F40LM]

I seen this probably 4 or 5 but oh remember the angry room mate and cumin, such a bonus when I hear the other funny parts I forgot

[@PhilippeLandryPhilippeALandry]

I'm from South Louisiana too and he really got the differences between a Y'ay accent and a Cajun accent. Also, New Orleanians really like to fuck with people. I do the same grammar thing. Tourists are easy.

[@ElkinsEric]

This is one of the best of the series. Without a doubt.

[@thetomster7625]

one of the best so far

[@summerfields2792]

That was one of the best comedy routines I have ever seen in my life. 👍

[@HouseJunk1e]

holy shit that guy is an absolute legend....well done sir!!! hilarious

[@TheBrob1983]

Thats many years of life stories..robocop

[@terencemeaux8917]

South Louisiana baby vermilion parish supporting my dude !!

[@peachfuzz89]

I thought for sure when the door flew open it was going to be his roommate, and his roommate was going to say, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" and he was going to respond, "I'm cumin" (pronounced like the spice is supposed to be pronounced). That would've been a pretty awesome ending! 🤣

[@datheamore6395]

I have watched this story 5 times and it is still hilarious. 😂

[@rg9810]

"give em a valium" lmfao. #dead

[@WakandaSykes]

one of the funniest stories online, Sean's new special is hilarious too

[@ameliaa2302]

“Save the seed, the mothership is in danger!” 🤣😭🤣😭🤣😭🤣

[@Tyubirocks1]

I chose this one because all of these with ridiculous titles are always good. I was not disappointed.

[@ValleyOfTheShadow]

Wow, one of the bests of these. Super funny

[@therealpaddyp]

Still come back to this as one of the best gems in stand up of all time

[@jesseparks6142]

This is the funniest shit I've ever seen I literally had to pause the video to stop from laughing in my accounting class You

[@manyourcoolchris]

I saw Sean Patton at the Cellar this week. Great set!

[@OfDaSouth]

this is legitimately one of the funniest standups I’ve ever seen. Good Shit™

[@amitryx]

Coming back to this because I saw a can of Tony's at the store last night and my brain recounted Sean unknowingly flirting with the mailman. Thank you Sean.

[@prudentiusinvader6652]

Really well told story extremely hilarious haha

[@nicosiago5375]

One of the best stand ups on the channel hands down

[@nonskiwun]

he had me at "Tony Chacere's" lol my mom used to put that s*** in everything

[@seamusbenn2967]

I thought that was Frank’s Red Hot

[@The51stAgent]

This guy is one to watch. Serious talent here.

[@dellam2195]

This man has beautiful eyes

[@aj200415]

I have to be honest, Iv watched like all of the this is not happenings and this is STILL my go to.....This is the funniest bit I’ve heard, I freaking love this!!!!!

[@rascal_rae]

Ah the legendary Scare-O-Gazm... Been lucky(?) enough to have one in my time

[@tiedyedowl8367]

I’ve watched a ton of these and this is by far one of the best. 🤣🤣

[@nexus-rl7249]

I can relate to him so much on the accent thing cause I’m from south Louisiana and any time you leave the state everyone asks about the accent…… he wasn’t really exaggerating tho cause there are some people down here who talk like that😅😂😂

[@dominicdoherty7208]

You guys sound more like New Yorkers than Creoles

[@nexus-rl7249]

Dominic Doherty well he’s from a creole area in south Louisiana like New Orleans, where I’m from we’re Cajuns and a good bit of people around here do speak with the stereotypical “Cajun accent”, Louisiana is so diverse that if I drive an hour from home people speak with a completely different accent and dialect

[@dominicdoherty7208]

@@nexus-rl7249 i don't personally live in Louisiana, but I've heard that the creole accents weren't focused in parts of New Orleans due to later Irish and Italian immigration.

[@JeffWarren47]

@@nexus-rl7249 I just started standup and want ur OPINION.Please SUBSCRIBE if u LOL. kzbin.info/www/bejne/oWbdgGpogLR1mKuV

[@drpibisback7680]

11:27 - "It's pronounced _kyoo-min!_ And now you'll never forget!"

[@DeadlyMustard]

Well, now I have to try Tony Chachere's

[@17leigh]

DeadlyMustard I came to the comments section to specifically spell out tony chacheres for all those interested

[@all.trumptardsare.racist4633]

DeadlyMustard Don't do it, its more addictive than meth.

[@manoamano920]

Old bay is better. Stick to what works.

[@smorgensterin4990]

You won't be sorry, it's delicious.

[@manoamano920]

Aric, is it really that good bro? I've never had it. Making me want to try it now! Let me know!!

[@johnnyk617]

This was by far my favorite this is not happening ever

[@chrisrushing5930]

Tony chachere's is in fact the best Spice in the world comma if you haven't tried it, do so. It goes great and everything

[@nedisahonkey]

Chris Rushing Don't use text to type dumbass comma even if you have good taste in spices.

[@bensongbenson]

@@eganc1976 Chris R is right. I carry a little in a vial whenever I go to a restaurant period.

[@d.e.b.b5788]

On it's own, it does taste like dirt.

[@JeffWarren47]

@@d.e.b.b5788 I just started standup and want ur OPINION.Please SUBSCRIBE if u LOL. kzbin.info/www/bejne/oWbdgGpogLR1mKuV

[@ashes2ashton490]

literally the best story i’ve ever heard thank u

[@irfanamil2882]

I was watching this while making breakfast and I was laughing so hard that my breakfast got burnt😂😂😂😂😂

[@cbatl]

You know what could help salvage it?

[@kareemallen2040]

Bravo 👏 excellent story, well written joke 😂 too many coincidences but I was strapped in all the way

[@narezul]

this guys a great writer

[@drillbill1]

This is the number 1 most well crafted joke. ive watched so much stand up but this is the most funniest fucking joke ever hands down. ive watched it so many fucking times. i watched it when it came out or was Cummin haha and is still the best joke story. it came out as a amazing set too and i just gota praise it so much. Sean patton you pulled it off hard buddy thanks for making me and my friends laugh forever.

[@MikeyGamingVault]

“Oh lord I’m coming” made me laugh out loud at 3 am tucked into my bed about to knock out.

[@SpizawkDaKizowz]

This right here is one of the best, right here yah.