4 Conversational Maxims for Effective Communication

[@alexanderlyon]

Free PDF on the 5 Essential Professional Communication Skills: www.alexanderlyon.com/free-resources

[@iakguui976]

Your knowledge is eye opening. Your words are wisdom. I watch your videos almost everyday.

[@thatoneuser8600]

Make a video on how to continue or carry a conversation, like knowing what to say, how to respond spontaneously, etc. I think that is a fundaments skill that will indirectly help every other communication skill when mastered.

[@lmlmlmlm7627]

Yes! I agree.

[@jaconfitzalbeus7317]

I struggle to explain my thouths or ideas with people. I often tend to become a little or so abstract in any conversation. And it is frustrating for me and for the people I am talking with. Thank you for this great video. The lessons will help me to become concrete, specific and organized

[@natalieb563]

I struggle with this too! I’ve always said my mind is running faster than my mouth. I stumble over my words and don’t articulate my thoughts clearly. 🙄

[@MG-qh1qi]

Undiagnosed adhd might be a possibility. It effects communication in this way.

[@giangdangthithu1384]

I was struggling @ so stressful on communication @ I can manage. Luckily I found your sharing, I have to save it safes my life from depressing, and find the way out. Thank you so much, wish you all the bests 💖💖💖

[@ΓιώργοςΜουρατίδης-θ5ξ]

As Speech language therapist, i have to say that we need to make it clear when there is a pathology underneath the communication problems like autism, developmental language disorder etc. If there is a pathology, the person who has been in need should find a Speech and Language therapist to work effectively. PS. The tips and general the videos of this channel are very helpful, for all of us specialists or not.

[@alexanderlyon]

Thanks for adding to the conversation. I have a background in leadership, communication skills, and public speaking. I haven't studied Speech and Language Therapy and I wouldn't be qualified to give tips about the various pathologies you mentioned. The tips and advice I offer are meant for general professional development purposes.

[@sunithagirish2139]

This is so good. A good conversation is such a wonderful thing. Blessings

[@leond9999]

Thank you! These four points are very helpful to me.

[@iakguui976]

Hi Alex, you're a positive energy to the world. I learned a lot.

[@abedmezani5109]

as usual,you're the 1 of most experts that i ever had listened before,so that i got a lot from your videos,I'm grateful to be a part with your community,all tips are amazing can help anyone to manage any conversation...thnx a lot

[@alexanderlyon]

Great to hear that, Abed.

[@t.j.5574]

Nice! Relevance is the one I should work on. Sometimes I’ll say things I’m thinking about even though the conversation is somewhere else.

[@katierojas8066]

Same! Haha 😂

[@schooloflovinglife3699]

Hi sir good evening,,,I am really happy to listening audios. It's very useful. Tq🙏🙏🙏👏👏👏

[@franciscosmjr]

Thank you so much for your vídeos, dr. Alex! Amazing!! 😍

[@openclassusa3534]

Excelllent video!

[@ruqi4729]

Hi Alex, I just start watching your videos and as I was really interested in public speaking section, so I went right there and I must say, all of your videos even the one posted 5 years back were really helpful. Would really appreciate if you can add more tips to practice for a public speaking session, and to be more confident and precise in sharing our points

[@alexanderlyon]

Thanks for sharing, Ruqi. I'm happy that the videos have been helpful.

[@vandon_official]

Me too sir..

[@NCN358]

Yes am also learning alot of communication skills from you. Am looking for more tips on public speaking, confidence & communicating your thoughts clearly too

[@HODMinistry]

Hey, Alex! Just found your channel, I love it! God bless brotha!

[@alexanderlyon]

Welcome aboard, Jonathan. Glad to have you. God bless you too.

[@elidaperez6485]

Thanks for this precious information, I listen to you, because I am learning english at the same time I improve my communications skills,

[@conniegreco8409]

Love this, thank you.

[@tarunommadan]

Nice points. Thanks.

[@waseembhai7525]

Your four points are very effective and easy to improve the communication skills,best wishes for you. Thanks

[@alexanderlyon]

Thank you, Waseem.

[@madanarathimadangopal5890]

Insightful!

[@aliciabeebe8851]

Thank you for this video Alex. It gives me great tips to improve my conversations.

[@alexanderlyon]

Glad it was helpful, Alicia.

[@levicorsah951]

Great content

[@ahmedainab7858]

yeah that was quite helpful, Thanks Alex

[@carloscamperos4839]

Fantastic job!

[@alexanderlyon]

Thank you very much, Carlos.

[@shafiqulaml3113]

Excellent Sir.

[@katetheaffiliatemomofficial]

Seriously. This is amazing.

[@alexanderlyon]

Thank you, Kate.

[@growingtruedisciples]

Great video!

[@alexanderlyon]

Glad you enjoyed it. I saw your other comments too. I appreciate it.

[@growingtruedisciples]

@@alexanderlyon :)

[@altinmares8363]

Alex thank you for all. Please don't forget to post more videos about - Cicero (On the Ideal Orator) - Aristotle rhetoric book 1,2,3 explained - Charisma

[@alexanderlyon]

I'll give that some though, altin. Maybe. We'll see.

[@altinmares8363]

@@alexanderlyon Thank You soooooooo much!

[@alexanderlyon]

No promises, though! Ha.

[@altinmares8363]

@@alexanderlyon ok

[@srinivas_xt]

Thank you sir 😀👍

[@alexanderlyon]

Welcome 👍

[@Bollywood.studio07]

You are awsome !!

[@abdulhafizbozdag2988]

Thank you

[@spenceroxford5193]

Preponderant & essential for social life.

[@livestock9722]

Coming from parents who both display the opposing ends of the spectrum on 3 out 4 maxims, I found this interesting. I've definitely vacillated over the years, trial and error, to see what works for me out in the world. Recovering "vague-aholic". As an aside, to the tune of public speaking, have you done a video on crafting a wedding/best man speech? I was asked the dreaded question...

[@RG-gd5tc]

Another excellent breakdown. Easy to follow and immediate applications. Thank you!

[@alexanderlyon]

Glad it was helpful, R G.

[@LisaLinSD]

"When will you be back..." "LATER" LOL🤣

[@siwardwoudstra1751]

These 4 are a really great basic, but I think it is more complex if you further deep it out. As someone diagnosed with autism I can tell you that conversations can get awkward for speaking truthfully rather then diplomatic. What you educate is really great on the more objective side of communication, in the sense of moving honestly and straightforward toward (business) goals. But I think there is also a very subjective, more psychological, side to communication. At least with some people.

[@alexanderlyon]

Good points, Siward. Virtually everything on my channel is aimed at professionals in workplace. I do have some videos on the more personal side of communication but I always take a practical approach.

[@nancyzehr3679]

That's so funny! I asked the same thing-ish. I'm autistic. It's real, that communication gap between ND and NT. Awkward, too. And quite frankly, unnecessary, if we can figure it out. Stay well, chere!

[@siwardwoudstra1751]

@@nancyzehr3679 Yes it's real, and mostly it is unexpected when I am confronted with it. Personally I think it also has to do with the vagueness of this age. And people hiding their true self. In an environment with more clarity, people appreciating honesty or just more true tolerance (not the virtue signalling 'tolerance') it is much less of a problem to me. Or even helpful.

[@thenewyorkcitizen]

Your video is on point. Thank you sharing your knowledge. I see and hear this a lot too. Peoples attention span is increasingly short. It has a lot to do with too much tv watching, social media and less avid reading. Many people can read but do not. It is dumbing down the culture. The culture is less intellectual with each passing year. It's frightening.

[@alexanderlyon]

Thanks for sharing!

[@KateCulver13]

I'm probably most guilty of not getting #4 right. (are you seeing it already?!) Would love more tips on how to get this maxim right. Thanks, Alex.

[@alexanderlyon]

Hi, Kate. that's a common struggle. No doubt. I have a lot of videos that aim at being clear and concise. If you search with words like "concise" or "clear" communication and my name, I'm guessing a few videos will appear at the top of the search results. It's a key theme for my channel.

[@ItsBurnahMan]

great video alex, i think i struggle with manner

[@hillary694]

I loved the teenager and car example. I laughed so hard... "out"...."Later"

[@alexanderlyon]

Thanks, Hillary. The best illustrations are the ones we can relate to.

[@salvadorcastaneda6759]

Thanks

[@atulchikodikar1551]

4 Conversational Maxims for Effective Communication. 1) Quantity 2) Quality 3) Relevance 4) Manner -----------------------------------------------

[@kenetinuade9657]

Many thanks Alex for the insightful content but how then does one answer a question you'll rather not answer either because it's too personal or because you don't think it's the other person's business without sounding evasive or giving a somewhat irrelevant response.

[@alexanderlyon]

That's a good question. I'd have to give that some thought. It might deserve its own video at some point.

[@kenetinuade9657]

@@alexanderlyon looking forward to it!

[@miladistic]

Hello. This is a question from an MA entrance exam. The answer sheet says 'manner' is the correct choice. I'm wondering why 'quantity' can't be a correct answer too? Based on the book An Introduction to Language by Fromkin, "Quantity: Say neither more nor less than the discourse requires." This principle is in some way similar to "unnecessary prolixity". Which of the following maxims is the one forbidding unnecessary prolixity? 1. Manner 2. Quantity 3. Quality 4. Relevance

[@advanced-developers]

Good

[@nancyzehr3679]

I have autism, and float between intense hyperfocus speak and tangentials. Any ideas for moderating this spectrum of speech into a more neurotypical pattern? Thanks! I really appreciate your output.

[@alexanderlyon]

It's a good question, Nancy, but I have no experience or expertise with autism how how my advice might be adapted in that way. Sorry about that. I'm very hesitant to speak outside of my education and experience.

[@nancyzehr3679]

@@alexanderlyon That's ok. No one else seems to know either. I have to do some serious self monitoring in interviews, etc. Es deficil!!

[@alexanderlyon]

It's a big issue and I wish I had better advice about it. I'm imagining a channel will pop up soon that gets at those concerns in a more focused way. The need is there.

[@cctones87]

Great tips, Alex. I would say I struggle with quantity and relevance. I am able to talk a lot about every point that someone discusses, but it requires great discipline for me to stay to the topic and share a quantity that makes the other person(s) heard and engaged.

[@alexanderlyon]

Thanks for sharing, Anthony.

[@G3_Lexicon]

Consider looking into symptoms and traits of ADHD

[@alphamegaradio]

Great tips as always, Alex! The first would be my hardest to get a handle on. I'm much better today, thankfully; your videos have helped to solidify that. Thank you! QUESTION: Think of how social media interaction would be SO different if most people used these maxims? 😁 God Bless!

[@tadiwamudz2797]

Hi, could you please react to Young Thug’s first court appearance. He’s a famous rapper and just got indicted for some serious crimes

[@gonetoheck]

Good luck trying to explain some of these communication boundaries (don't dominate a conversation) to someone who's a narcissist...it won't go well...will create an uncomfortable negative drama...because they have the need to win and show their superiority in the contest of controlling a conversation. Seems like everything is a competition to some of them...if that's the way they get their supply / lifting themselves up over others. They'll definitely dodge uncomfortable questions or turn them back on the one who asked. Honesty is optional to them...as well as "playing nice". I simply choose to go "no contact" with these people who don't want to play by the rules that preserve dignity, respect, and civility.

[@alexanderlyon]

Well, you're not wrong. My approach on the channel is to make videos for people who want to learn. I also never recommend trying to manage other people in conversations. If we just stick to communicating and being at our best, that's all we can hope to do. We should just leave it to other people to work on themselves. In a way, I approach everything I teach on the channel as if it's like a public speaking lesson. If you watch the channel for your own growth and benefit, you'll get better at public speaking, conversation, listening, etc. We don't have to worry about other people's poor public speaking. That's their problem. Honestly, avoiding a narcissist via a "no contact" policy is not a bad idea in most cases. We have a .0001% chance of changing them. Those aren't good odds.

[@Konrad111111]

Great video. I would add: make sure you every person is included in the conversation. It can get odd if 2 people are talking while a 3rd person is just listening and never asked for his or her point of view.

[@alexanderlyon]

Good addition, K. W. Grice was primarily talking about our individual competence, but I agree with you that skills like gatekeeping and/or facilitating a discussion are also important.

[@abdulhafizbozdag2988]

Gid blass you too

[@NebulusDerg]

Kennedy Space speech when?

[@alexanderlyon]

It's on my list. I'll guessing I'll get to it in the next month or two.

[@nathangelaonline2391]

That’s the creepiest teen I’ve ever heard. Great video though!

[@alexanderlyon]

I was aiming for funny but you're not the only one who thought it was creepy. I'll make it not quite so low-pitched next time.

[@alphamegaradio]

😂😂 I thought I was the only one? lol... Alex for the win!

[@MG-qh1qi]

I wish an adhd expert would piggie back off your videos and elaborate on all the bits that adhd brains struggle with in communication. We can learn these tips but understanding how to read the situation and knowing what relevant etc or even pacing a conversation can be nearly impossible.

[@CoachJJ]

Ok. I enjoy your content, but are you for real?! What level of a role do you expect to answer a dozen questions in a 30 min interview?

[@alexanderlyon]

Hi, Julian. I'll give you a long and boring explanation for this. If you saw the interview schedule and actual questions, I'm sure my example would seem more reasonable. These interviews were for a faculty position. The actual interview process lasted for 2 1/2 days (teaching demo, research presentation, 1-2-1 meetings with each faculty, etc.). During a small portion of 2+ day stretch (which involved a panel of three interviewers, including me) we had a short series of really easy questions to ask that HR essentially made us ask all candidates. There were about 6 core questions and some had follow up questions for about a total of 10 or 12 questions. It was broken down quite a bit. What are your strengths? What are your weaknesses? (That's two questions right there). Other questions were clearly seeking very direct answers like what classes would you like to teach? Many questions like this could be answered in about 30 seconds. If a candidates is taking 5 to 10 minutes to answer questions like this, they are giving WAY too much information. The details of this example, however, would have added zero value to this video. So, I compressed my explanation because the video was not about interviews. Suffice it to say, the candidate was the most long-winded applicant and none of the other candidates struggled with this. He stood out in his inability to the point.

[@CoachJJ]

@@alexanderlyon I stand corrected. Instantly clicked with the interview board approach with core questions applicable to each faculty candidate. Thanks for sharing more details on this, of course you chose to condense it, rightly so for this video :)

[@alexanderlyon]

Thanks for responding. Also, I should mention that we gave the interviewees all of the questions ahead of time, they had them on a piece of paper right in front of them during the interview, and they knew that the interview was scheduled for 30 minutes. This extremely rigid approach was mostly about satisfying the Human Resources expectations. Most of the free-flowing conversation happened informally over the 2 1/2 days.

[@CoachJJ]

@@alexanderlyon Yes, understood totally. It resonates, almost verbatim, with how interviews must run in my wife’s experience as an educator in the public system. Questions must be pre-vetted and asked equally to each candidate. My natural pushback is, in my experience, I’ve always interviewed for high knowledge workers and god forbid I couldn’t dig in on behavioral and/or personality differences of each.