Eye Contact Tips for Showing Confidence

Here are 3 Eye Contact Tips for Showing Confidence when you are communicating in conversations, groups, or public speaking situations. Free Download pdf Confident Speaking: www.alexanderlyon.com/
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[@alexanderlyon]

Free pdf download: 7 Tips for More Confident Speaking: www.alexanderlyon.com/free-resources

[@GreeneChakra]

I needed this the Whole Time.

[@lukasbarnes4905]

how can I make Eye Contact Tips for Showing Confidence when I talk to someone ?

[@jeandavidnau8314]

Glad to see you didn't stop saying God bless.

[@isaiahhoffer6081]

I love it

[@evan_513]

Agreed

[@lorrieprothero2175]

I'm autistic, looking into people's eyes is too much "input" for me to process. I lose complete connection from my brain and i go into a trance. I forget literally EVERYTHING i hear or want to say. It's frustrating because people think I'm rude. It's not my intention. I can't conduct interviews very well Because of this. I have lost many jobs because of this. I end up leaving crying to myself because i draw blanks and get embarrassed.

[@alexanderlyon]

I'm so sorry to hear that, Lorrie.

[@charlescoult]

Same. You hit the nail on the head for me. Never been able to put it into words very well. Thank you for that. When I'm 'forcing' myself to look at someone in the eye, it's already hard enough to listen to what they're saying or think about what I'm trying to say. Add the conscious effort to remind myself to use eye contact and not hold it for too long and make it seem 'natural'... the conversation goes out the window.

[@charlescoult]

What frustrates me is that every time I get advice on how to maintain natural eye contact they say just hold it for 3-5 seconds or whatever. I realize that is the natural way to do it but what am I supposed to do, count to 4 in my head while looking them in the eye? By looking them in the eye I've already lost track of the conversation and focusing on counting to 4 is not helping that either.

[@lorrieprothero2175]

@@charlescoult i have a photographic memory so the moment i actually pay attention to what i see, my mind goes into full "impression" mode and shuts off every other sense until all i can pay attention to is what i see to the point that i start seeing how many hairs they have in their left eyebrow, if their nose wiggles when they talk, if their upper lip is thin or thick, if they part their hair on the left or right, etc. If i make actual EYE contact, it's like hearing a hypnotist word, i get sucked into the void and i lose time. Like i actually go into a coma like trance where i black out momentarily. Eventually i snap out of it but I'm not sure how much of the conversation i missed.

[@lorrieprothero2175]

@@charlescoult when i talk to people face to face now, I've started telling them up front that i have a disability and that i need to look away often in order to maintain my focus and to please not be upset if i don't provide enough eye contact.

[@ebogar42]

If you feel bullied stare them down and that lets them know you're confident and ready to throw down. Works about 90% of the time.

[@Teabone3]

I can actually confirm this.

[@eyeoftruth4405]

just don't fight, walk away or run, it's more logical, don't let your ego to control!

[@domoxd3020]

@@eyeoftruth4405 the goal should be to stay alive. if they're a small little nerd I don't think you have a lot to worry about, but even if it's a big dude and they are pciking on you, if you put up a fight, it's much easier to pick on someone who's not willing to throw down verbally and physically every time. just don't do this on the street or in a bar, those are people who you're never gonna see again so it doesn't matter.

[@polaroidandroidjeff6383]

Don't do it, once you learn this you can't un-learn it, and you'll use the same level of eye contact with everyone

[@ebogar42]

@@polaroidandroidjeff6383 That is kind of true and why I don't try to make eye contact. lol

[@louisrobitaille5810]

1:25 Personally, my reason of avoiding eye contact is to help me focus better on the message instead of the "wrapping". If I have to look at someone in the eyes, I'm distracting myself with all the things I'm noticing visually and in a matter of a few seconds (usually 2-5), my attention will completely shift from the discussion to something else that I'll notice during that very brief moment. By focusing my eyes on a separate point, I can quickly examine it and transform it into a "boring spot", a spot that won't distract me no matter how long or boring whatever the speaker is saying.

[@josephgithinji6284]

that means you reply instantly and you are always ready to nasnwer any question regardless of wheather its answerable or not. take time before you reply and tha moment you look away for 1 second breath for 1 second aticculate your thought for 1 second amd maintaining eye conctact then answer them

[@d.g.n9392]

I’m retired from 45 years in business, and always felt like it was so important to make eye contact.

[@benthebarber2343]

😳 … Me trying to count to 10 and pay attention to the conversation at the same time.

[@BeKemeFeqadu]

Imagine if we had a video of Mathew 5, the sermon on the mountain . Or any event of the earthly life of Christ ! I read from various sources a message that mentioned the people were astonished because “He spoke with authority “ :) it’s like you have been working for a colony and having meetings with you supervisors and managers and taking instructions from them all your time at the company and one time the owner of this large company himself showed up as a janitor or some low level employee , but whenever he speaks up on meetings , you sense that authority! Determination on passing and making sure those messages are out on action , coz He is the CEO or the owner(in disguise) so He wants to make sure those messages are taken seriously and put to action

[@DavidWilson-pf1qw]

Wow that was sick bro! Praise the LORD

[@isidoreaerys8745]

Till 325 AD, not a single historian or writer wrote about Jesus Christ or any of his disciples . The dead sea scrolls covering the period from Birth of Jesus to 68 AD , does NOT say one word about Jesus or his 12 Apostles. Hellenistic philosopher Philo Judaeus of Alexandria (20 BCE-50 AD/CE)-alive at the purported time of Jesus, and one of the wealthiest and best connected citizens of the Empire- makes no mention of Christ, Christians or Christianity in his voluminous writings. Nor do any of the hundreds of other historians and writers who flourished during the first THREE centuries of the common era. The DEAD SEA SCROLLS were all written by Pagan Essenes . None of them have been edited by later Christians, as is the case with some other Jewish literature. All the scrolls (except a treasure map known as the Copper Scroll) can be dated prior to A.D. 68 or 69, when the Qumran settlement was believed to have been destroyed by the Romans in the Jewish revolt.

[@DavidWilson-pf1qw]

Is that what Wikipedia says or other internet info ? Search your heart , ask Jesus from within

[@chrisiancnnell4238]

@@isidoreaerys8745 even if Christ was myth; everything we’ve built in the west was laid on the foundation of what you’re suggesting we dismantle and discard. You want to plunge us back into the mud so quickly? If you were able to knock all the slates out, do you think anything you value would be left standing? How much meaning have you drawn and applied from anything fiction? Is it Harry Potter or are you a more of a Star Dork? Tolkien, Zelda? Anime? Tell us what hero story you relish so we can prostrate it out and rag on it here in the comment section for twenty people to see. So quick to throw out the original logos, but it’s no super intellectual to find the faults in things. Then you offer no solutions. Valueless. The arrogance you bring in with the assumption that anyone here, there or anywhere inherently cares what you have to say then you put this shitty energy (tone) out as your first point of contact it’s embarrassing. Expect the world to shell up around you. Dislike the comment, leave the rest to Google, and maybe spend your spare time better by dodging traffic! The Bible has lasted longer than empires, you’ll never put a dent in it by copy and pasting the internet as David acknowledged. Everyone’s heard Rogan bring the dead sea scrolls up since circa 2010 anyways, chill fella

[@Pepperthefunky]

​@@isidoreaerys8745 Have you heard of the Roman Tacitus? I believe you oppose the current scientific consensus if you say that you don't believe Jesus existed. Like you can doubt the resurrection, but there is more evidence of Jesus than of Socrates being a real person. That being said I don't think Christians make it a secret that it took many years (and many early church councils) to settle on the canon of the New Testament. The genocide of Christians by people like Nero certainly didn't help facilitate this process. Furthermore it is important to note, christians weren't called "christians" in the early days, because christianity was regarded as a 'jewish cult'. Also what you say about the dead sea scrolls is a well known fact, I don't see how that is important to your argument? The thing that was surprising about the dead sea scrolls is that it proved that the Masoretic texts (written 1000 year later) have preserved the vast majority of information.

[@timothyskattum950]

I’m really learning to appreciate the content of your channel. I’ve begun, only recently to watch one of your videos a night and have started, after re-watching certain segments of your videos several times, to implement the use of what I’m slowly taking onboard and already I have noticed how much more effective and calmer I’ve become on the job site while directing the subcontractors and employees in a positive manner. Thank you for this. It’s truly a blessing to have had discovered your channel.

[@alexanderlyon]

Awesome, thank you for sharing, Timothy. I'm glad the videos are helpful, practical, and making a difference.

[@MrFeels-lb3ss]

Alex. I, as a strategic communications major in college am very grateful for your video's. They provide quality insight regarding the field and are easily digestible. I intend on following a PR and crisis communications minor and am truly grateful for your insight. Usually video's like this have a price tag attached to it.

[@alexanderlyon]

Thanks for the comment. I'm glad the videos are useful.

[@bengmelea8646]

Eye contact across cultures can vary a lot. I note that in many Polynesian cultures making more than limited eye contact with a elder is considered disrespectful. You're also told not to make eye contact with Silverback Mountain Gorillas in the Rwandan rainforest if you value your life!

[@DrJonTam]

"One thought, one look" -- love it Alex!

[@MasterTalks]

Love how much you're progressing as a creator Alex, will always be cheering you on brother!

[@alexanderlyon]

Hi, Brenden. Thank you, brother. Let's work on a video together! What do think? Email me and we'll get a conversation going. Would love to hear you share some of your best tips on public speaking.

[@MasterTalks]

@@alexanderlyon hey brother, definitely open to the conversation!

[@geophx]

I have been preaching this to my 7 grandsons since they were old enough to understand it. I just shared this video with them to reinforce what I have been preaching , however, this time they will hear it with more tips from an expert. Hopefully they will check out more of Alex's videos.

[@MasterTalks]

Such a truism Geo, it's all about learning from experts like Alex.

[@CarlJames10]

I’ve never had a problem being social, I make friends easily but eye contact always kills! I can manage it but I do catch myself not being strong at it and atleast I acknowledge it. So far in life, it has worked for me. I do look side ways every 5 seconds or so but I don’t give up.

[@jonvich3011]

Another great Video Alex! Thanks for the content, it really helps me!

[@garycurtis7183]

Blessings and gratitude 🙏

[@mittyxxx8791]

Wow, thank you! I have to talk daily in meetings, i appreciate this!

[@luissalazar2021]

Your right, when I went to the court. I did make eye contact and it works great for me.

[@kevinhuneycutt9691]

Dr. Lyon was my favorite professor at UALR back in the day! It is awesome to see this channel.

[@alexanderlyon]

Hey, Kevin! Great to hear from you. I appreciate the kind words, man. Hope you are well. I remember my days at UALR fondly. God bless you, brother.

[@patrickstubblefield]

Thanks for breaking eye contact down to a science. I personally don't want people demanding my attention so I have never been big on eye contact, but it's not about me

[@heroismismissing9516]

I'm at about an 8 or 9 now (without the aid of the video) but it wasn't always that way. I used to have a real problem with eye contact, i'm not sure why. It makes a world of difference for me as a student, I feel like I have more rapport with my lecturers, they are more willing to help me and remember my name, they look to me for assurance when they are speaking, and I feel it's easier to maintain attention over the course of a lecture now that i'm more comfortable with eye contact (e.g., i won't get self-conscious about it and lose my focus). The point about sustaining it after a talking point is a good tip, so is holding for 3-5 seconds with each group member, and these would be areas I'd like to work on. Thanks Alex!

[@nshimiyimanadaddy7200]

I also struggle with eye contact it had appeared when I'm grown because I was so confident and thoughtful in young ages but I figured out mostly depends on what went through. That's what behind lack of confidence which leads to lack of eye contact also here there is some of them, loosing a word in society, bad habits, using substances, negative criticism thay are so many. It's better when you seek help!

[@stephanies6770]

On thought, one look. Thanks for this message.

[@AgnaktoreX]

Great video with great tips. One idea that I'd like to add: making eye contact is not directly about getting more confident, its more like showing interest into people's emotions, soaking them up in order to connect better with them which will ultimately boost your confidence.

[@alexanderlyon]

Thanks for sharing. Agree 100%

[@positiveandhealthy2728]

I am consistent in my dream works from now, totally focus and concentrate, disciple and all the time motivate 😊

[@YanaMcCar]

One thought, one look. That is a great and helpful rule. Thank you.

[@viscache1]

After a severe head injury I find it less difficult to make solid eye contact..to the point of making people uncomfortable…but I do not read emotions or intent well. I often find myself marginalized because I react incorrectly to a conversation, situation or event. I’m the guy who stares far too deeply for far too long until people just want to escape. And while i understand what is happening at the time i am not capable of stopping it from happening. As a coping mechanism and a new necessary skill I now look at peoples mouth instead of their eyes. It is less weird for them because I have lost much of my hearing and need to learn to read lips to participate in a conversation.

[@whoarewefoolin9463]

I thought I was about a 6 but realized I'm closer to 8. Thx for this, encouraging and motivating to be better at communicating.

[@eva-mariacoughlin9456]

many years I have been working in SE Asia in Missions, and the eye contact doesn’t work!! It takes a lot of work to get eye contact! I even remember being in Beijing in the subway, surrounded by people and seeking eye contact for just a second. It doesn’t work! Everyone sitting across from me stared at my feet!! So much so, that I thought something was wrong with my feet, and started to hide them…. I know it wasn’t a meeting or a business presentation, just talking about attempting to make eye contact and this thought came. Thank you for your great presentations,God bless!

[@justkenzie]

This is amazing, and helpful... I moved to the USA from Canada 2+ years ago now. One of the first things I noticed right away was how rarely one looks in the eyes when passing by someone here... I miss the warmth of that back up north.

[@PriusTurbo]

Move to the south!

[@lsterl]

New subscriber. I've learned so much from you in a short period of time.👍🏽

[@robp2728]

God bless you too! Great video!

[@davidfisiha1572]

Great content. You are very pleasant to watch and you don't try too hard. And you sound like an expert in your field. I will buy one of your classes.

[@SvetaSveta-ms4hi]

Thanks a bunch for such amazing tips! ☺️

[@willieward7419]

Alex, you're the best.

[@debs54]

I struggle to do eye contact i was a shy kid that time I don't know if it makes me look weird but i have school tomorrow so I'll try to eye contact

[@user-lk1qx7gb5o]

Agreed. Hard to draw people out of their shells when you're the only one looking in the eyes

[@rachelgustafson1207]

So happy I found your KZbin! God bless you too!

[@alexanderlyon]

Thank you so much, Rachel.

[@fragallo1188]

Happy to be a new follower. Thank you

[@Kosalsom]

Thank for sharing ❤

[@sami9472]

I love your videos! Just didn't realize how important communication and body language really are

[@alexanderlyon]

Thanks Sami. Our nonverbals creates most of the "vibe" we give off and we don't even realize it.

[@romp8667]

ALEX thank you for your educational videos super informative thank you so much i love your professionalism awesome!!

[@alexanderlyon]

I appreciate that, Rom.

[@nigoranematova3718]

Thank you so much

[@angeloc3842]

God I wish I knew this 20yrs ago . Instead of wanting to disappear giving speeches in college lol

[@jedigreg4636]

Look good makes you feel good makes you perform good. Always works.

[@igor_dssg]

Insteresting tips! Thanks a lot!

[@juliegolub2602]

It's funny I ran across your video today. Just last week I mentioned to a coworker that the most important thing you can do to build trust with new dialysis patient is to make eye contact when talking.

[@armadasinterceptor2955]

I am a new dialysis patient (3 months), I love when they look me in the eye, and they are very good at it. I figured that was either training or experience.

[@alexanderlyon]

It adds that human touch we all need, especially when we're feeling alone. I wish you well with your dialysis.

[@user-dp9ym3dl8r]

Alex, You have such beautiful eyes that I want to stair them all the time💛 Like two pieces of precious gems💙

[@alexanderlyon]

Thank you for the compliment!

[@hassn7750]

hi,, a very important topic indeed. thank you

[@nikosnik5686]

Add to these reasons social anxiety and ASD , great content btw .

[@agora5230]

Another great video, thank you so much for the tips! I will implement them immediately!

[@alexanderlyon]

Thanks, Pilgrim. I'm glad they are helpful.

[@shizasworld.9736]

Glad to find your chanle thanks for sharing your great tips to help us .

[@emojiking8580]

Iridologist are the best ! At eye 👁 observation!!!

[@Bri.elle.210]

Great tips thank you for sharing sir.

[@alhafezahamed8913]

Thanks so much Boss

[@chrisjones446]

Dang you are awesome!! Great advice.

[@themetamystic]

Thank you!

[@dimitriosfromgreece4227]

BRAVO ❤ love from sweden Stockholm

[@krystinaland4137]

I've always have had good eye contact. Because of this, I've seen abnormalities in a few people's eyes. I also can't help but look at people's eyes on tv and have seen some weird things.

[@saschaketzel6624]

Hey Krystina, that's interesting... can you be more specific about what kind of "weird things" you've witnessed so far, I'm pretty curious here now...

[@krystinaland4137]

@@saschaketzel6624 sure. A way older guy was interested in me and i wasn't but i talked to him to be nice. Well we we're talking one day and i seen his pupils morph from round to slits right before my eyes. I freaked out and said something immediately about it and he acted as if i was on to him and started over compensating for himself. I stayed away from him afterwards. Second time i saw a light like a copier machine go from left to right over this lady's eyes. I see the pupil slit thing all the time in celebrities and I'll time stamp it on KZbin and my comments get deleted. Crazy huh. Or maybe i am. Lol

[@ashtonwilliams2510]

I Watched your video "persuasion is an art, not a science" which was very resourceful. I noticed as well as it was incorporated in this message. Love it. Your videos are fire.

[@alexanderlyon]

Thank you, Ashton!

[@thrivehappy9610]

Thanks Mr Alex

[@dcrambishwasray8765]

So amazing video god bless you

[@abdulhafizbozdag2988]

Thank you sir

[@Evana782]

Thanks a lot 🌸👍

[@franssisita5143]

It's interesting how it differs from culture to culture. I recall having a conversation with a Asian fella and he was extremely uncomfortable with me looking him in the eyes. when I looked away while we spoke he was extremely relaxed and could be himself. I always make it my mission to keep the other person comfortable with whom I am having a conversation with.

[@JubelihleConsulting]

Thanks man

[@sahilsaini6584]

This video really help me to make eye contact

[@remnant.watchman]

Thanks!

[@mikep3575]

Eyes are the window to the soul....

[@Isaiah_writes_360]

This is Insightful and helpful sir 😎 One thought one look 👌 Follow through 👍 Thanks for sharing!

[@alexanderlyon]

Glad it was helpful, Isaiah.

[@ralphstarling6707]

thanks!!!

[@ofonbrillian2273]

One thought, one look This is incredible ❤️

[@alexanderlyon]

Thanks, Ofon.

[@dm0nic4L]

Love from Malaysia, Alex!

[@alexanderlyon]

Love from New York state!

[@sergeya3078]

do the smile video next

[@marcdolce9512]

Super great content

[@leos280]

Hello Alex, at the outset a big thanks to you for bringing amazing videos. Would you have something on how to carry oneself when delivering difficult message /doing difficult conversations/ delivering bad news. Keen to get some inputs on those areas as well.

[@martinhenderson923]

Really glad to have found your channel. I was a communications studies major in college, so it's good to see what I might have become had I not pursued journalism instead :-D I would love to see your reaction to David Letterman's post-9/11 monologue, and to Donald Trump's 1/6 speech.

[@beckham231017]

If only you knew how IMPORTANT it is to make proper eye contact, to boost confidence.

[@DefeatLust]

Would love it if you reacted to Greg Plitt's videos. I have not seen ANYONE, in this life time, come even close to his confidence without coming off arrogant or not genuine.

[@zhuyaj]

Really awesome video tips, I learned a lot! Do you have any tips on a online class where most of my concentration is on my own tablet instead of my students cameras? I teach art and I have bad habit of speaker to them but needing to concentrate on demonstrating on my monitor to the side. Any help would be appreciated!

[@charlescarmichael5219]

Hi watching from Australia

[@willitine]

Ah easier said than done.. it’s tough sometimes.. personally I feel like it’s just too intimate to make eye contact with someone sometimes because you don’t want to send the wrong kind of message to people at work (customers buying foodstuffs) or even family members.. but usually I might smile with my eyes without eye contact just to kind of show politeness and kindness without direct eye contact. However good eye contact tips though in a business formal settings, absolutely.

[@castertroy9129]

Very good channel. It’s like a college course. Free

[@starffgamer1258]

Hi Alex you are a tremendous communication couch and you have a great accent I've subscribed to your channel I will appreciate to you hard work thanks

[@alexanderlyon]

Thanks so much!

[@Koryogden]

I use eye contact for connection, so if just talking about something I won't make much eye contact, but if I'm connecting with them on a topic, I'll look into their soul

[@nobleamerican7515]

I just found your channel. Good content.

[@KenLalla]

Great tips Alex! I am curious about how other cultures fit into this where eye contact is not encouraged or appears disrespectful. For the wider audience here, it may be an important consideration to prevent any misjudgements.

[@johnterry6541]

These advice do not work outside the USA.

[@isidoreaerys8745]

Anyone who wants to improve eye contact should move to India for some time. After spending 6 months there EVERYONE commented on how intense my presence and eye contact was after I got back. Which I didn’t even notice it just passively got conditioned in me after being around the Indian people who are genuinely warm and personable.

[@recrevs963]

awesome, i was thinking about tips with today's predicament we are in which is how does eye contact work in virtual meetings?

[@vuslatoztopcu7108]

Hi Alex! I've been informed about your channel on Lisa Mojsin's youtube channel. Thank you so much for this video. I subscribed immediately to your channel. Have a good day.🌹

[@alexanderlyon]

Welcome, Vuslat. Lisa is great. Nice to meet you!

[@Claymoments321]

Had to sub

[@razemander]

My eyes water up when i look at someone in the eye and i start fiddling with random things to try not breaking eye contact. One tip found that looking in the corners of their eye helps a ton. Good luck with anyone else trying to figure this out lol.

[@peaceandlove18]

I have been trying to practice eye contact but everyone gets mad when I look in their eyes. I constantly get "WTF you looking at?" or "Why you looking at me , BRO?". People are very sensitive lately. I especially love the the ones with tattoos all over there neck and face but they get mad when you look at them. I mean com'on.

[@akhlaqurrahman6882]

Love you form India

[@thomaswatkins1229]

beautiful

[@suraj12707]

Love from INDIA

[@wecx2375]

I enjoy a high status at work and in my personal life, but I avoid eye contact. I make sure I deploy eye contact strategically. I tend to turn my head and give my ear a lot so I can hear someone clearly.

[@laurashepherd9979]

I have had facial paralysis since birth. I have very limited facial expressions. Yet, I have never shied from public speaking, and have done it since high school. I cannot smile. I guess I use A LOT of eye contact, because I have always been told I am effective. I also try to be personable, allowing questions and pointing out anything interesting or unique in my topic.

[@PriusTurbo]

Interesting. I contracted bell's paulsy twenty years ago and never fully recovered the ability to express myself on one side of my face. Sometimes I think I'm smiling but I'm not. People often think in in a bad mood but I just don't look happy because of that. I'm curious, do you find that you feel like you are expressing yourself as if you are smiling but feel like it's just not coming through? I've found humor in it over the years but there are times when it's been extremely frustrating. I can't imagine having very limited expressions but I'm glad to hear you've learned to compensate.

[@ivananelovic3425]

Hvala!

[@alexanderlyon]

Wow! Thank you. I appreciate your generosity.

[@ivananelovic3425]

@@alexanderlyon keep up the good work man, I've benefited a lot from your 3 videos already, so that's the minimum I can give you in return :)

[@I-Khan75]

Good one! Subscribed..!!

[@alexanderlyon]

Thanks and welcome!