I loved how he referred his wife to last year's card to find all the "sweet" things he wanted to say to her. I was married for almost 31 years before my husband died but we had been married about 15 years and I asked him (why do women always do this?) "Why don't you tell me you love me?" (I knew he did because his actions said he did but I just wanted the words.) He said, "Well, I've told you I love you in the past, right?" I said, "Yes". He said, "Well if I ever change my mind I'll let you know."
@briannasumbillo16585 жыл бұрын
Omg that's brilliant lol
@eirikmurito5 жыл бұрын
Haha
@daisylouise55015 жыл бұрын
That's brilliant. Sorry for your loss
@piperuk53665 жыл бұрын
Ahahaha!!! Gold!! 👍🤣
@maeking52685 жыл бұрын
That's so amazing.. ❤
@sharonmendes52725 жыл бұрын
LIKE HOW HE USES HIS FIRST JOKE TO FINSH THE LAST JOKE !!!
@DM-kv9kj5 жыл бұрын
That's one of the oldest stand-up writing tricks in the book mate. This guy's painting by numbers and everyone calls him a "genius"... Bizarre.
@amywarren82135 жыл бұрын
Austin Dyer well at least he makes people laugh
@wynwilliams69775 жыл бұрын
@@DM-kv9kj SO go do it yourself if it is so easy
@VRDennis5 жыл бұрын
It's called a call back. It's something most successful comics do
@timbradshaw54815 жыл бұрын
It's so cheap it's not even funny. I feel dirty when I use it, there's no skill. Its cheap but it works, like selling your soul to the devil.
@chaniefeldmanLevin5 жыл бұрын
What monster opens a new milk when theres one already one open??!!!
@karenwangari40575 жыл бұрын
I know!So annoying
@kstormgeistgem4615 жыл бұрын
honestly? it's never mentioned as to whether the milk left over is still good or just only good for making buttermilk biscuits. if the milk moves more like sludge than liquid, then i'd go with the bigger question of why he didn't just chuck it.
@thetruth33165 жыл бұрын
Are you his wife?
@mckavitt5 жыл бұрын
Chanie Feldman-Levin I live w one who opens new everything before the old one is finished.
@antoniajane54425 жыл бұрын
My 19 year old son...
@mirkovalli13975 жыл бұрын
Well..his wife is right on pretty much everything 🤣
@johnstew86174 жыл бұрын
Yes
@hfyaer Жыл бұрын
Except spontaneity. She clearly meant the opposite.
@jipke5 жыл бұрын
The dishwasher part is so relatable.
@jipke5 жыл бұрын
@Mister Physics I know what you're talking about, mate, been there. But I was actually referring to the wife bending over and then me groping her lovely butt.
@Mushroom321-5 жыл бұрын
@@jipke haha , YES,.. so relatable.. 🤣
@kerensabirch52142 жыл бұрын
I ended up asking my man to not grab my butt EVERY time I walked past him in the kitchen.
@jc95525 жыл бұрын
Spot on. He is a brilliant observer with just every day average stuff.
@KISSArmySoldier4 жыл бұрын
"The only thing you clear in this house on a regular basis is your internet history and it's disgusting" 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
@johnstriker4805 жыл бұрын
"I still love you. ....See last year's card for full details." xDDD
@johnstriker4805 жыл бұрын
0:44
@leptoon4 жыл бұрын
Yeah that is definitely a thing he said. Why you're quoting a video that everyone who would read your quote literally JUST watched, and why your comment has almost 900 "likes", I have no idea.
@natv554 жыл бұрын
@@leptoon This is very common in the comments - people quote the bit that rang true with them the most/made them laugh the most etc. I guess it depends on what videos you're watching 🤔
@generalbaryonyx68504 жыл бұрын
It’s a weird thing to do but it doesn’t bother me it’s just strange
@thedarkness973 жыл бұрын
@@generalbaryonyx6850 I just put a timestamp and a laughter emoji..
@l3onkers5 жыл бұрын
He always ties the joke together at the end giving credit to those who bothered to listen previously and making you feel special for getting it.
@davisperron42604 жыл бұрын
Yeah so even if you missed the whole middle part you can walk away still thinking he was funny 😂
@cactusmom82035 жыл бұрын
6:03 "look at me- im n e k e d~"
@aestheticnugget62845 жыл бұрын
That one episode with rachel in friends when she was home alone 😂😂
@banjopiggottwright18023 жыл бұрын
"You might as well put it in the fn garden" One of the best uses of the f word ever.
@borleyboo56135 жыл бұрын
‘I knocked her in by mistake’. OMG! I’m crying. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
@lifewuzonceezr5 жыл бұрын
LOL, ex would think it was funny to smack my arse while I bent over, and my fat arse would ripple up my back, tipping me over!
@hannahdiane84515 жыл бұрын
8:01 The woman said to her husband “that’s you” 😂 Also Michael , me and my bestie Bethan are massive fans and always listen to your jokes in our art class 😂
@magmafang71875 жыл бұрын
Shouldn't you be doing art
@hannahdiane84515 жыл бұрын
Jakub Gdaniec it’s the thought that counts lol
@hannahdiane84515 жыл бұрын
Magma Fang yeah but we listen to Michael McIntyre whilst doing art
@bonnienash85855 жыл бұрын
@@hannahdiane8451 I love hearing you are doing art , art opens parts of the brain and can help with memory and cognitive movement. It's also been proven to help stress and anxiety. Take no notice of comments from others keep enjoying art . Michael is great he lives close to us in North London ☺️.
@jooprodederode93295 жыл бұрын
This is not a joke, this is real...but if you don't understand, it's a joke. The one came from Corsica the other came from Georgia, and the third came from Austria, and all three did the same, but they did the same for the same ... and We serve the same ... understand History ....
@MerimaTropoja5 жыл бұрын
Putting empty boxes back in the cupboard, fridge ,why do men this??? If it's empty it's trash, throw it away.
@Beatdownkioskman5 жыл бұрын
women do it as well, my own mother does this so you're just man hating
@krisbest64055 жыл бұрын
Less than a teaspoon of milk put back is just lazy, also an empty toilet roll.
@julius_7265 жыл бұрын
So she won't know I finished it in one go; it will take a few days for her to realise and so it will look normal.
@DuchessOfDoofus5 жыл бұрын
Lol 100% female right here and I am 100% guilty of this XD
@raspberrymojitogirldec5 жыл бұрын
My mum does that lol
@evieatkins20475 жыл бұрын
anyone notice the woman at 8.03 that said to the person next to her that 'that's you' when Michael was talking about spontaneous dishwasher loading 😂
@carolodell61454 жыл бұрын
Yes I did mentioned further up. He certainly is a observer of people and action
@SineadLaws4 жыл бұрын
I've never watched Michael McIntyre and not laughed out loud enough to feel I've done my abs workout for the day.
@davisperron42604 жыл бұрын
That’s a pretty good sign. He doesn’t make me laugh that hard but he does make me laugh out loud which is pretty unusual for standup comedians
@janelletorres52965 жыл бұрын
I completely understand her! The everlasting battle in my house!
@billysinge89775 жыл бұрын
Janelle Torres fucking hell, you need to sort out your priorities
@bt78465 жыл бұрын
@@billysinge8977 yoy have to honor the orhers' work.
@mariebourgot49494 жыл бұрын
@@billysinge8977 Oh, because you are the one to do the dishes and laundry?
@rukhsanamehrban91255 жыл бұрын
Has to be my favourite comedian by far!! 👌🏻He’s hilarious 😂
@juliad99475 жыл бұрын
I've been married for 14 years now and I totally relate to that. Spontaneity is almost impossible when you have kids 😁
@charlottecolley87132 жыл бұрын
YOU ARE SO HILARIOUS AND CONVEY TRUE DAILY REALITY IN THE BEST EVER OF WAYS. SIMPLY ADORE YOU
@janpraje5 жыл бұрын
08:22 "Jesus! There's a spoon in my eye." "Sorry, I was trying to be SPOONTANEOUS" 😂😂
@lucelu5514 жыл бұрын
spontaneous.😀
@gypsywoman91404 жыл бұрын
@@lucelu551 They were making a pun by playing on words
@annaandrea83205 жыл бұрын
You are my favourite stand up comedian. I love the fact that you are not vulgar, even though you make quite a lot of sex jokes. You are brilliant! Thank you for sharing your work on KZbin!
@bebeveritas73063 жыл бұрын
Mr. McIntyre is the ONLY living comedian who can make me laugh so hard!
@mathewdsouza33975 жыл бұрын
Micheal, you are one of the best comedians of all time!
@chyfields4 жыл бұрын
Thank you for the laughter you bring to my life.
@JayWelton925 жыл бұрын
8:00 "that's you" lol can't imagine how many people just said the same thing. I know i've done that in the past :/
@19lashby53 жыл бұрын
I choked on my biscuit. literally was putting an empty packet back in the cupboard during that joke and literally choked.
@shaya97454 жыл бұрын
“If you open up one more milk.......” I’m shitting myself laughing and it’s 3am so I’m trying to be quiet
@tinyspyro81633 жыл бұрын
Haha same xD 😆 I'm trying to not wake up the whole house but I can't stop laughing 🤣
@sarahrenfrow97954 жыл бұрын
Anytime I am just a little bit down, I rewatch one of his videos. Now, I’m down to re-re-rewatching and he’s still funny!
@ozzeelady60292 жыл бұрын
BRILLIANT never have too much of Michael McIntyre’s comedy. 💖
@beatrizlopez95204 жыл бұрын
Simply lovely! We got so much rain yesterday and today the sky is cloudy but after this video, sleep all you want sun!
@simplyso43634 жыл бұрын
I never get tired of this one. It’s still good no matter the time 😂
@sandyporteous18114 жыл бұрын
Love your shows, have watched them all many times
@rg22655 жыл бұрын
"Goes down as a whole" is priceless. 🤣 "Is there anything else?" is even more priceless. 🤭
@tommillard41935 жыл бұрын
Why am I watching this I ain't getting a long-term relationship ever 😂
@daltontomkins54065 жыл бұрын
Omg I relate
@bt78465 жыл бұрын
Long term doesn't have to mean same roof.
@megabyteme55455 жыл бұрын
@@yjy5448 go back to the basement troll!😂😂
@mariebourgot49494 жыл бұрын
@@yjy5448 You're so unaware of yourself that yu can only project on other. I pity any women, girls who's ever been in your life.
@fozzybear88784 жыл бұрын
@@yjy5448 FFS, you are a fool. Just an incel who has no appeal to women. Fuck off this thread.
@Idkwhatuser1234 жыл бұрын
8:03 that woman said to her bf of screen "that's you" read her lips XD 🤣🤣🤣 I'm weak
@krisbest64055 жыл бұрын
This is where the f word is used correctly, you might as well put it in the fn garden, a masterpiece.
@maymadison36202 жыл бұрын
This is not just comedy he's giving life lessons y'alll. Gooold
@rachelring25425 жыл бұрын
Yes, cannot take ladies for granted😍😍
@mrs.thomas-usmcwife56865 жыл бұрын
This is so funny, but its only because it's true! Love this!!
@flamefox8989 Жыл бұрын
Warning! Do not eat & drink whilst watching this hilarious funny man🤣 I spluttered a mouthful of tea. 😂
@patrickdurso97464 жыл бұрын
8:03 That woman saying 'That's you' 😂😂😂
@donna199685 жыл бұрын
Oh my God!! This is the exact conversation I have with my partner all the time.........and nothing changes!!!! .. ....
@rkfavourites94894 жыл бұрын
As a woman, I agree with the wife on evertyhing re: the milk, dishes etc - isn't it common sense?
@jacdaniels40393 жыл бұрын
*clears throat* "MiNiMuM"
@mothiurNCL3 жыл бұрын
Yes - Real men
@Hankblue2 жыл бұрын
I don’t agree re the milk. Like why on earth are you getting upset that there are two milks to choose from?? How could this possibly affect you?
@susivarga7303 Жыл бұрын
@@Hankblue Depends. If they have the same expiry date, it's just a lazy thing to do but causes no real issues. However if you start using the second bottle and let the first one go off, that's is just plain stupidity.
@FoxGlove8 Жыл бұрын
@@Hankblueexpiry date- it has to be finished 3ish days after it’s opened
@karolinat41575 жыл бұрын
Dishwasher = my husband. Biscuits = my sons. Men 😲🤣
@caralama084 жыл бұрын
Karolina T Because women DO TOO MUCH FOR THEM!
@faketohma3 жыл бұрын
My brother took the last hot pocket out of the freezer and left the box in there. In fact he did it not once but twice. Imagine wanting a certain food and you reach into an EMPTY box (twice) I found a coffee can in the pantry with no cofffe and a Dunkin’ Donuts empty coffee bag inside. I was like there no way my mon would do this this is my brother
@Hasan...5 жыл бұрын
So is it 4 years? 8 years? 12 years or 13 years? I think Mrs. Michael is gonna have a Word with him one more time tonight.
@doms67415 жыл бұрын
4 years married 8 years together before hand. That's 12 years. Then at a show a year later its 13 years
@bellasofiamartiinez5 жыл бұрын
Not really. The first clip it's just 4-5 years earlier. The clips are not from the same show
@grimreaper82175 жыл бұрын
*Mrs McIntyre*
@MerimaTropoja5 жыл бұрын
@@doms6741 It's not 8 + 4 years, out of the 8 years they have been together they have been married for 4.
@johnjohansson62775 жыл бұрын
This is a compilation of joke from different shows over the years. He obviously told one joke after 4 years, another after 8 and the other joke after 13 years....
@dianaamiri95205 жыл бұрын
everything is super relatable :)))))))))). he is amazing
@shaunaleessnackidies3 жыл бұрын
I laughed the whole time and finally got belly laughs that hurt! It’s been so long, so good job! And I snorted! 😂
@ashleyfaller10683 жыл бұрын
It's so accurate, about the muting of the t.v and getting re dressed and putting on the glasses ..laughed out...
@groovin2mytune285 Жыл бұрын
That just cracks me up every time I watch it! Women from everywhere are thanking you, Michael! When we are needing a "chat", all we have to do is play this.... hahahaha!
@TheRoxen925 жыл бұрын
the only thing you clean in this house, on a regular basis is your internet history and it’s disgusting 😂😂😂
@viviennepopek5 жыл бұрын
He is sooooo seriously adorable! 💞😂💖😂💞
@Mushroom321-5 жыл бұрын
My gosh!, Your impersonations , gestures , paceing is hilarious.. 🤣 I LOVE it!! 😃 I wish I could meet you to thank you!! for so much resonating w/ the pet peeves part.. 😲
@kat369-mine4 жыл бұрын
Lol, I swear, I laugh no matter how many times I watch his shows.
@faatimahabrahams82124 жыл бұрын
“I’ve read three books” Oh boyyyyy
@benwanada5 жыл бұрын
My girlfriend and I are celebrating our one year anniversary today. This is a hilarious coincidence.
@sumguy8355 жыл бұрын
That’s lucky, you might not have remembered if you didn’t see this. ESSO sell flowers...
@NurseInTraining5 жыл бұрын
Awww...congrats. I hope you two continue to be very happy.
@nickymorgan37935 жыл бұрын
Happy Anniversary 😄
@786qad5 жыл бұрын
Get her pregnant before she runs away
@xjacquelinex5 жыл бұрын
Cuteeee
@JaneDoe-ci3gj3 жыл бұрын
I love the knowing looks the couples in the audience give each other!😂👍
@hmms52565 жыл бұрын
OMFG That empty packet back in the cupboard, UGH! Both my sister's and our dad do that. Mum still thinks it's me for some reason 😭😭😭
@marshamahaney69975 жыл бұрын
Very funny, very relatable! Thank you 😄😆
@user-zi8lg5qu1h4 жыл бұрын
This guy was building up a practical joke his whole marriage That is what i call comedian
@AeliaM16Lake4 жыл бұрын
"Men don't need to be seduced.. We can seduce ourselves unknowingly in our sleep" 💀
@elaynaterrell35764 жыл бұрын
My god I have never in my life laughed this hard! Im crying!
@horsez4eva184 жыл бұрын
OMG him talking about his wifes lecture to him is the EXACT same as me and my boyfriend...THE GOD DAMN SAME 😂
@camillaholmberg39515 жыл бұрын
Very funny! But is it just me or does his wife sound a lot like bridget from bridget jones? The expressions, awkwardness and tone is on point 😁
@xBaristaPaul5 жыл бұрын
Damn! Lost weight! Looks good man! Love the content. Funny as heck!
@hypatiakovalevskayasklodow91955 жыл бұрын
After hearing things like this, I am so grateful for my husband
@tirsden5 жыл бұрын
Yeah I mean he comes off as funny but I'd be infuriated with him too, wouldn't put up with that kinda ridiculousness. A human being needs to value their space (and their honesty) better than that regardless of who is around them. On the flip side, the whole "be spontaneous / argh why did you just do that" thing is also stupid, but I don't "get" the average woman myself, regardless of what genderbits I have downstairs.
@hypatiakovalevskayasklodow91955 жыл бұрын
@@tirsden Same, SAME! I think we are all brainwashed to behave in certain ways a d to hide our emotions on regular basis and we also expect from others to behave in a certain way... It's like a shared delusion spread to most of our society, and then when people don't act according to it, we're disappointed If we would speak our true feleings more often, if we would reflect more... 99% of people I know just seem too immature for that, no matter their age men are raised to treat their wives as new mom-servants and women are raised to think that's normal anf men're just like that and there is nothing to be done about it... imagine if we all preffered to break up a relationship than serve a man-child they'd have to toughen up and actually "be a man" and not just some child with added sexual drive?
@oliviaredito3437 Жыл бұрын
My goodness what a bunch of losers in this comment section 😭🤣
@leiladekwatro31474 жыл бұрын
the "please turn over...the page" part was genius
@johnlargan60455 жыл бұрын
He is brilliant! Could easily have his own television series.
@zoedujour5 жыл бұрын
I feel that "milk" comment in my soul.
@ritaharris23725 жыл бұрын
he has nailed this.
@mapleacer99253 жыл бұрын
"I still love you …see last years card for full details" 🤣🤣🤣PERFECTION. That's the best line.
@ks74855 жыл бұрын
I lost it at: “It might as well be in the fucking garden” 😂😂😂
@Larrysbride4 жыл бұрын
"The only thing that you clean in this house is your internet history" 🤣🤣🤣
@patricemarie29605 жыл бұрын
I love this man .... He sends cards!!!! ........
@rodmanm.papros45353 жыл бұрын
"I knocked her in".... I can't breathe 😂
@boiragirules5 жыл бұрын
Oh this clip is a gold.
@briannasproule3624 жыл бұрын
8:03 “that’s you” 🤣🤣
@zoewood5555 жыл бұрын
Haha I do that now. I’m a newly wed but we’ve together for 5 years ❤️
@cherrytate7149 Жыл бұрын
OH ....GOODNESS.🤣🤣 HAVENT LAUGHED SO MUCH IN AGES . 🍾🥂😍😍😍🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
@gingertoastd93673 жыл бұрын
“Please turn over - *the page* - please turn over” *glad he specified*
@infiniteinspiration16285 жыл бұрын
OMG he's the best! Love your humour Michael!😂😂😂😂😂🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏
@sunitafisher47585 жыл бұрын
🌸 married life.....you have to come up with new shit every year, jump through hoops etc lol 😂 Socks off if it’s a special occasion lol 😂
@BennyboyTrades5 жыл бұрын
*Please turn over, the page*
@ayes1434 жыл бұрын
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣
@lifewuzonceezr5 жыл бұрын
Lol, first screaming row with my husband..I missed the pail with a nappy, didn't notice until he was screaming at me for being LAZY, with our handicapped newborn and being on my own for a whole month!! Minus breakfast dishes and that one nappy, the place was Spotless!!
@jenniferwren765 жыл бұрын
lifewuzonceezr I would have ripped him a new one!
@thesilversurfer71362 жыл бұрын
What an amazing talent Michael is!!!
@phoenixdawn217able5 жыл бұрын
🤣🤣🤣 the dishwasher scene ! 🤣
@nasrenekim54925 жыл бұрын
So funny I enjoyed it thanks
@nattyt-zk2nx5 жыл бұрын
The woman at 8:03 says that’s you to her man 😂😂😂
@tammerman773 жыл бұрын
This is so refreshing to watch. It's nice to know all men do things like this 😂. My partner always puts bags of CRUMBS back in the cupboard. I'm like mate...finish the bag of crisps or throw it away. What's with the crumbs!?
@PangLiur5 жыл бұрын
i love you, please turn over XD
@patrickbonham9495 жыл бұрын
😂😂😂
@ahmedtawe3na4594 жыл бұрын
Those on long term relationships will laugh more than those who are not.
@BarterTom3 жыл бұрын
I was watching Inglourious Basterds with a friend on my bed once and then she suddenly paused it. I just remembered.
@piperuk53665 жыл бұрын
I am sat in my car, on my own, outside my house, laughing like a hyenna. Going to look like an idiot if I suddenly stop laughing hysterically and get out the car and go indoors straight-faced, so, am now considering what sort of a smile to maintain without also looking like a complete twat!!! 🤔😁
@marcusrakyat88915 жыл бұрын
Love u so much Mike from Malaysia 🇲🇾.
@collinslfc5 жыл бұрын
Never once heard anybody call him Mike before...
@HidingInMyRoom19894 жыл бұрын
Malaysia is bad
@xuanliu97125 жыл бұрын
I love your jokes. It is all too real, hahaha.
@ferryface38094 жыл бұрын
Omg this is so accurate 🤣🤣🤣
@SteelTreeGone3 жыл бұрын
He’s so funny, he always makes me 😆
@melanieohara69415 жыл бұрын
hahaha. Story of my life. SO glad I am single now.🙋🏼♀️
@collinslfc5 жыл бұрын
Getting knocked into the dishwasher by your spontaneous partner is the story of your life? Interesting.
@KatWoman835 жыл бұрын
Same!
@Dough-jg8xp5 жыл бұрын
@@collinslfc eh?
@YRTEverything5 жыл бұрын
He's a Champ in delivery
@SandraNelson0635 жыл бұрын
Dr. Phil says that when you ask your wife how things are and she answers "Fine!" In a clipped , sharp tone...the marriage is over and the husband had no idea there was anything wrong. He thought he was getting away with it.
@jenellsaphid5 жыл бұрын
Sandra Nelson you believe Phil?
@cookie-dough-fox695 жыл бұрын
I was taught that fine, stands for Fucked up Insecure Neurotic & Emotional. 😉
@ecb19795 жыл бұрын
Only if your wife doesn't know how to communicate or has a partner who doesn't try.