Consequences of an Emotional Affair

[@rustymcpherson3668]

Everything I've just learned im done im never letting her do this to me again its the third time now and im relieved of everything now. Thank you so much !

[@26pinkpixie]

Same here! I thought I was being unreasonable and now I know I’m not.

[@coachevy2851]

I love your videos. You have a smoothing way of talking even if it's about traumatic situations.

[@brightpage1020]

A year out - my husband cut it off and had to quit his job… He has completely cut off contact and I appreciate that but it still hurts so much and he feels the loss with resentment. It has economically hurt our family, and nothing good has come of it. Nobody believes it was just emotional. Even their coworkers had noticed their relationship.

[@likesanddislikesetc]

My wife had one with a pastor from church last year. So we will now have to leave a good church because of her affair. We are mending the relationship but the hurt is so real, so painful. I told her if she actually had sex it could not have been any worse. I had recovered from a bad injury from my railroad job and she chose to do that to me. She thinks I can just put it behind us. Wrong. The nightmares and sleepless nights and constant anxiety of it happening again.

[@Gotoworkkk]

You said another post that you left him. Did you??

[@BadddDoggg-id4po]

My wife had an 8 year emotional affair with a co-worker. He has since moved away and they no longer talk. I actually recently had a PTSD attack because of it. I'm working through it with my wife, yes we are still together.

[@XScorpionX321]

Wish you all the best and strength

[@maryjimenez2515]

My husband had a emotional affair for 2 years before i found out about. He lost his children. They are all married and out of house. His grandchildren don't want to see or speak to him. Now he realizes his mistake or i say his choice.

[@thefrozengoat]

A mistake happens once. A choice happens repeatedly.

[@Gotoworkkk]

Wouldn’t his children be grown up and out of the house regardless? What does that have anything to do with his affair? You sound like you tried to turn the family away from him …

[@alismith7916]

A mistake made more than once is a choice.

[@truckerflip9977]

This was a great video that answered what I’m going through once I realize I was having a emotional affair. Thank you for making this video. It was very helpful

[@irishsakura1]

I just found out that just happened to me. The guy I was talking to for a year was married! So I tracked down his wife and told her because he refused to tell her himself.

[@serenajoy9060]

And if he never had sex with you he will say he didn't cheat.

[@irishsakura1]

@@serenajoy9060 Good point.

[@huckmart2017]

Even as the person that was used to cheat, there were big consequences. I fell in love with her and became incredibly depressed and suicidal when she decided to the end the affair. Lost her as a friend (she was my best friend). And now im incredibly wary of our mutual friendgroup because one of them knows what happened, so i might end up losing them too. The guilt was immense. Ive been having to go to therepy for months because of it. I cant imagine how it must have effected her. It was a big mistake. The dangerous part is that it felt romantic and exciting at the time. But it was really messed up in reality.

[@brightpage1020]

So brave to share. I hope you’re taking good care of yourself. The only way to it is through it. Keep putting one foot in front of the other. Do your best. Rest when you can’t to recharge. I’ve heard the chemicals our brains release while “in limerance” or having that in-love feeling can mimic those released by elicit drugs. As you said, it’s “messed up”. Realize you may have been under the influence of that cocktail and please forgive yourself. Put it behind you through forgiveness. That will free you to make new friends who don’t carry such a high risk. Learn to enjoy those connections.

[@Confessions089]

Thanks for sharing your story. Hope everything worked out for all of you.

[@jinnantonix4570]

Thanks for sharing. I am having a similar experience, although I initiated ending the relationship, mainly because I knew that it would not work in the long run, I am too old to be uprooting myself, and I value my wife and family too much. I told my wife about it, but made sure she realised that the affair was always platonic, that my loyalty was with her and our marriage and that I still loved her, and she has accepted it. In a way it strengthened our marriage. My AP was angry that I insisted on honesty with our spouses, as she wants to move on from her husband, and also in denial that her actions were potentially so hurtful to others. Her reaction was to be bitter and resentful, women are much better at walking away than men are. It hurts so much to lose a friend/love, I can't imagine I will ever get over it. It has been 3 years now since you posted. Are you recovered now?

[@fayepatton6436]

I found out that my Bf has been obsessed with his phone and always looking at it for notifications lites, then he went to Best Buy and got an SD card for MORE space on his phone for videos and pics, he made all these changes to his phone, and it all raised an eyebrow with me and my gut was telling me things that were hurtful, turns out that I was right all along, as of now he’s completely oblivious to my knowledge as to what he’s been doing, and I’m angry and hurt, I suppose going through quarantine brings out the ugliness in those why supposedly love you, what good is it to have someone physically if their heart and mind is with other women?

[@phabeondominguez5971]

How are y'all doing now?

[@coachevy2851]

Tell that to my coworkers. It's gotten so obvious and bad they have both turned against me. I've caught them in weird situations and now they are bullying and mistreating me hoping I'd quit my job..,but I'm not the only one who's caught them. If i were them I'd be nice to me with all the info I have against them. There spouses aren't the only ones that suffer coworkers suffer too.😏

[@NavyDave219]

I would tell the spouses everything.

[@nash-a-one]

This is so true Mary Jo, I too find it hard to trust another woman, I guess out of fear of ending up with another rotten egg. It's just a headache that I dont want to go through again. She has damaged me and my kids from having a normal, safe and secure life just in pursuit of love and romance which she never showed me so I dont see her new partner keeping up with her required luxurious lifestyle she urns and seeks. It will end in disaster as the kids are slowly distancing themselves from her and she has noticed it but blames me for brainwashing them, which is not the case. She is not there to be a part of their achievements so it is only normal that the bond she thinks she has will perish in time, furthermore she always worked lates so lost that bond 9 years ago. I will have faith in God and allow him to decide what punishment she deserves.

[@YourBoyStevoVA]

My family hasnt been the same after i found out my wife was having an emo affair with a coworker then with another person who was married with children.

[@Teddymwenda]

Sorry man it's happening alot

[@marshallrobinson1019]

"Just being nice." "It's wrong to turn people away." "We're just friends." "They're my best friend." "We're just colleagues." And my favorite, "I don't have a colleague by that name" [who they've been talking about for nearly two years].

[@danavest]

Sexless marriage for over ten years and after she moved into another bedroom I bought a life like sex doll and now she’s accusing me of cheating on her

[@lacyinmon1004]

My ex left me a month ago after he had a emotional affair with our neighbor. They're now a couple and it hurts because she claims that she didn't want him and claimed to be my friend.

[@nash-a-one]

I feel your pain, I am going through a divorce after 16 years of marriage and my wife had an emotional affair with her manager, due to him leaning on her whilst he was going through a divorce with his wife of 3 years. I caught my wife in a hotel where my wife, mother to my two children 13 and 9. She admitted to my daughter that she was emotionally connected to him. She left the matrimonial home (me with the kids still live there). She only visits twice a week for 2 hours. Now she wants half of everything 😥

[@mamen789]

Be patience, he will come back, stay calm

[@djuanaberuk9908]

@@nash-a-one I know divorce laws are unfair to men but make sure you minimize what she gets and be vocal about her infidelity and abandonment of the home and her child. Sue the affair partner for alienation of affection, get a therapist to help you through this. Most importantly, request full custody.

[@nash-a-one]

@@djuanaberuk9908 thank you so much, it's hard looking after the home and kids and maintaining a full time job, then theres all the evidence to print and collate, such a pain in the rear, and unnecessary work to add to an already difficult life. Thanks for the advice, I shall definitely take this onboard and try to be vocal as much as possible. Have a lovely day and thank you once again.

[@djuanaberuk9908]

@@nash-a-one you are welcome and you are in my prayers. I can imagine that you are overwhelmed but draw strength from your child and the fact that you are not abandoning your responsibility as a father. Hold your head high even though it hurts, because you dared to be in a relationship and gave your all. Vow to yourself not to be bitter because when this is over you will know incredible growth and resolve to face the challenges ahead. Finally, do not be nice! Do what you have to do to protect yourself and your assets legally. You know you are not dealing with a woman who cares about your feelings or pain she has caused you or your child. Govern yourself accordingly.

[@cyrusfreeman9972]

You mentioned losing friends. What would you say to the friends of an unfaithful partner who not only knew, but encouraged the unfaithful behavior?

[@makemillenialsgreatagain5766]

They Even lie about The Affair and call it emotional instead of sexual

[@pinkrose3230]

Why do man who cheat emotionally say that the other woman is his friend when it's his affair partner..

[@mariehelena2364]

Because they're in denial

[@Gotoworkkk]

It is both for him…and even if it’s not sexual eventually, it will be. That’s a full-blown relationship.

[@ElimEx1]

As a man who did this, I can tell you that it's because we honestly don't consider it an affair. we don't sleep with them. Emotions don't matter to us. That's how we are raised. We repress our emotions and we solve problems. We're not women, we're men. I was shocked when my wife cared. Literally could not believe that it was a big deal.

[@jmfrmf5342]

⁠@@ElimEx1an honest question here. If it is not about the emotion, what is it that a man gets out of doing it?

[@ElimEx1]

@@jmfrmf5342 Validation. Pure and simple. But I want to expand on this. When I said emotions don't matter and that's how we are raised, I'm not saying the affair wasn't about emotions. I was saying that we are trained, from birth, to repress emotions and bury them deep down. When they come out, they are usually unhealthy in the form of anger, rage or misplaced. The affair comes from a sense of low value, low self esteem and people pleasing. The people pleasing gets us into many negative loops. Unable to say no, piling on more work, lack of boundaries, etc. Instead, we have to learn to be self-sufficient when it comes to our emotions. Not even our wives should meet that need. That's a dangerous slope. Partners should be a nice to have, not a need. Because when they start filling a need, you run the risk of someone else meeting that need or becoming co-dependent. A relationship needs to be a partnership of equals.

[@shadashaross3218]

Emotionally I'm a WRECK. He accuses me of not trusting him but then he's always talking to other females online trying to meet up with them and get to know them (his exact words). What do I do because at this point I'm keeping my feelings to myself and bottled up resenting him more and more each and every time.

[@celiav2478]

I am in the same situation and going insane with myself resenting him more and more 💔

[@shadashaross3218]

@@celiav2478 It really hurts so bad. u dont know me but u can vent.

[@shadashaross3218]

@@kvooo765 I say this too myself all the time.

[@rovan26]

Please save yourself and your self esteem and leave. It's not like he's even trying to hide it from you. He told you exactly what he's doing. Why would anyone be ok with that in a relationship? If you stay, he knows he can get away with it and it will get worse.

[@shadashaross3218]

@@rovan26 True so true

[@percystreet]

My wife has been having an emotional affair (she calls it an “intense friendship”) with another woman for nearly two years - I called it out not long after it began, but she denied it…….. I have now found out that she has been sleeping with a male colleague for the last 6 months, too…………some going!

[@Teddymwenda]

My girlfriend had a emotional affair this month

[@tivanadutta8212]

Please give subtitles...watching from India 🇮🇳...as your accent sometimes difficult to get it's my request

[@MaryJoRapini]

Looking for someone who will do this for me❤️

[@amorwendelstadt3967]

Cant hear a word...

[@perfectsnake6969]

What if you already don’t have any friends and your spouse is emotionally distant before you started emotionally cheating? Doesn’t feel so bad now does it

[@truckingwithtobee]

Honey, don’t be quoting a movie when you don’t even get the facts straight. First of all he only had one child. Second of all he didn’t end up losing everything. At the end of the movie the other woman ended up getting killed by him because of Kim protecting his family. And he ended up staying with his wife and daughter. Other than that you’re doing great.

[@pamelabassmarsh5262]

You get the point...1 2 or more...its still painful!!!

[@makemillenialsgreatagain5766]

People Are so weak So selfish And just vampires

[@makemillenialsgreatagain5766]

All of this is bullshit. Stop doing What u want to do And put ur family first

[@kathleenferrizzi9046]

Frankly I don’t see a problem with it, I’ve been married 35 years and hooked up online with an old boyfriend from college, I just don’t tell my husband and sometimes have to lie so I can continue my freedom It must be what the universe wants for me or I would not have found him again

[@the_hooks]

I suggest you read your comment once again and see if there is any selfishness. If your relationship is based on lies just that you feel better about yourself I don't know what to tell you.

[@watitduful]

Shameful 😷 Hopefully you get help. I’m going to pray for you.

[@iamthestorm1004]

Kathleen Ferrizzi You as well as countless other people who find it so easy to cheat on your partners and feel no regret nor remorse Whatever it takes to get off Liars lie... Cheaters cheat Hopefully your husband will soon discover your ongoing with your emotional infidelity and send you back to the streets where you came from ! Not judging, just describing whats part of the rampant moral decay of our society Question for you: Do you have daughters? If so have you shared with them about your online affairs and tell them thats its ok for them to do the same, even cheat physically with others while in committed relationships?? You're a real piece of work 💩 *sorry misspelled work !!

[@tigermagda]

If you don't tell your husband, it's not an acceptable thing to do: you are betraying a deal. If you tell him and he's ok with that, good for you. Otherwise it's cheating, not freedom. And does freedom have boundaries? Like, physical ones for exemple? What if your husband hooks up with an ex off line? Would that count as freedom too?

[@jinnantonix4570]

If it's OK, then just tell your husband. If the old BF is preferred, then get a divorce and then hook up.