Cooking with a 3-Year-Old: Slobber Carrots and Gross Barbecue

In which John eats slobber carrots with drool, gross barbecue with drool, and hat. I'm glad to have this punishment behind me. Thanks to Henry and nerdfighteria for the horror.
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[@Daisyracin]

John: that looks delicious Henry:no it doesn't 😂I love that kid

[@JenniferJiang2013]

Rana ozgul Like father like son. Both are geniuses.

[@thomasdivelbiss1302]

Children don't do sarcasm

[@mckenzieann130]

He thinks his nerd of a dad has superhuman strength if that's not the cutest thing ever I don't know what is

[@mihirmutalikdesai]

mckenzieann true

[@coena9377]

From Clark Kent to Bruce Banner, nerds really are known to have superhuman strength.

[@nyxgarcia1917]

Right!!! 😂

[@Windja69]

Eh he’s stronger than me

[@woodfur00]

@@coena9377 Those nerds were made up by other nerds

[@adamknapp9898]

"Cooking with a 3-year-old" should be a regular program on this youtube channel.

[@frenzyXprime]

Adam Knapp there is another. There is hope.

[@agbook2007]

Marcus Kee Henry has a... sister. Yes, a SIS-ter. 🤣🤣🤣

[@RenaudAlly]

But the show will only last 1 year. Cuz, UK... '3-year old'

[@diaryofaspirit8342]

until he turned 4?

[@katiecutts9211]

"What do you think luncheon loaf tastes like" "You know like goo"

[@marthawilkinson3238]

Said EXACTLY how John would say it ahhhhhhh the cuteness

[@EllaABo]

You do NOT want to cook luncheon loaf over a low heat. In fact, you want to put the heat as high as you possibly can. And as long as you can. Burn the luncheon loaf completely so you don't have to eat it. Hell, burn your house down if you have to to avoid eating luncheon loaf. I hope this helped!

[@w50swimmer2]

Amen

[@april9586]

I love how happy John is when Henry says he has superhero strength.

[@celimendez7620]

How do you know you have a smart kid, you make something disgusting, say it looks delicious and he has a mind of his own to contradict you.

[@JenniferJiang2013]

+Celi Méndez John Green's son everyone

[@sadik.oagile6779]

+Celi Méndez Can't wait to see this child as a teenager.

[@TheGreatRakatan]

+Celi Méndez Kids don't understand sarcasm

[@rachelcreatez]

TheGreatRakatan some do. I mean if your dads an author and your uncles a scientist imagine he's a vary smart child

[@RachelandJun]

OMG HENRY IS SO ADORABLE! I was laughing so hard at this. PBBBLT PBBT It was great until the gagging, because unfortunately I am a sympathetic gagger. It reminded me of a recent dare, where someone suggested I eat shirako at a Japanese sushi restaurant. Fortunately (unfortunately?) I didn't know what shirako was at the time. It's a fish sperm sac. I had a similar reaction to this punishment video. And by similar I mean exactly the same. No more food challenges for me. -Rachel

[@AnotherPostcard]

The worst part is knowing. If it was just some random bit of animal product it would actually be easier to eat (for me at least).

[@MIQofDMC]

I stumbled upon your channel literally yesterday!

[@darkclone85]

MIQofDMC Welcome, potential nerdfighter! Have a sit and enjoy the fruitful edu-tainment!

[@berzerius]

Omg! Rachel. Didn't expect to see you here. Small world huh? Ofcourse you are a nerdfighter, Why would i assume otherwise? :)

[@RachelandJun]

MIQofDMC Yay!! Great timing :D

[@newdarkcloud]

"Aw. That looks good." Henry: "No, it doesn't." You raised him well.

[@maemars8248]

He is honest, and a critical thinker already!

[@Arcade_gamerr]

Honestly I really love that John doesn't talk baby talk or like toddler talk to Henry. Like I enjoy that he has like real conversations with his son.

[@CodyVickroy]

There is no reason to change your voice, or talk down to anyone.

[@TerenceClark]

So very much this. Well said. I credit my kids' unnervingly advanced reading and speaking skill in large part to the lack of baby talk in my house.

[@yinglangstarrunner]

Terence Clark My parents treated my brother and I the same way. I credit that for the fact that I'm comfortable around people older than me and talk to them like anyone else.

[@magicturtle3541]

John: That looks delicious Henry: No it doesn't HENRY IS THE BEST!!

[@UnculturedProject]

It was only until I heard the Yeti speak did I realize it wasn't Henry filming this.

[@SunnySideup2012]

Same here. It's mom recording it

[@Cz4rBDV5e8w]

I like that John and Sarah referred to the cabbage hat as "hat", as in "what about hat?"

[@LizTiddington]

Luckiest kid in the world - seriously, it's not enough that his dad is John, he gets to have Hank for an uncle too!

[@JenniferJiang2013]

He's gonna have the best help when it comes to his homework when he gets older.

[@vlogbrothers]

In which John Green eats slobber carrots with drool, gross barbecue with drool, and hat. Cooking with a 3-Year-Old: Slobber Carrots and Gross Barbecue

[@ljmichaels1666]

The hat too? Hasn't he suffered enough?

[@Teenbabz1995]

***** He has two more punishments to do.

[@BubbaYoga]

Can I get an alert for any Booger Broccoli recipe?

[@pooquellec5223]

That moment when Henry says his Daddy has super hero strength! And then John's reaction. Perfect

[@katyspencer797]

Henry is so cute! And I'm sorry that you had to eat such gross meat John Green . By the way, I loved the article in mental floss about you.

[@emmetcameron1026]

I would not complain if Cooking With A Small Child were a weekly vlogbrothers feature.

[@emilyfaith4061]

Em Cameron It's not vlogbrothers, but you should check out Cooking Fast and Fresh with West. It's Misha Collins (from Supernatural) and his son West cooking meals. They're hilarious and adorable.

[@8Metaphysicist8]

I like how Henry was suspicious of John's preference to eat his own drool. Way to question authority, Henry!

[@blueskies]

Why do you even do videos that aren't controlled by Henry?

[@blueskies]

If anyone is doing the exploiting here, it's Henry.

[@CrazyAmberRun]

I imagined slobber carrots to be much more slobbery and less spitty. Like physically put in ones mouth and then spit out. However I don't think anything could have made it more disgusting than the spam covered in all that sauce. You poor man.

[@EllieUchiha17]

Henry "what's a luncheon loaf?" John "a meat like product"

[@AllynJnae]

I love when you say "that looks delicious" and Henry is all like "no it doesn't" Ha! this was disgustingly cute.

[@ashtuatara]

I was dying of laughter when Henry put that much barbeque sauce on the meat. Love it. :)

[@SkyeSong777]

Someday a teenage Henry will discover this and be very happy.

[@joescott]

Best Valu-Time commercial EVER!!!

[@chloeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee]

oh hey i love your channel

[@gomezmario.f]

Hey Joe Scott.. Am from the future.. your channel will blow up soon.

[@Achw3l]

Henry must be incredibly intelligent! He's so eloquent for a 3 year-old

[@northwestborn]

His father is an author. I have a feeling play time at the Green house is a lot more literacy minded than ours was. :)

[@MockingjaySea]

"Oh that looks delicious." "No it doesn't" Lol Henry is SO cute! :D

[@lesorax123]

That looks delicious(!) Henry: No, it doesn't! Hahahaha!!!

[@haushinka502]

The look of pure terror in John's eyes when Henry says, "Here's the Luncheon Loaf."

[@Dragondice02]

'That looks delicious.' 'No it doesn't'. I like this kid.

[@tuseroni]

"ok i ate dinner so i shouldn't have any risk of losing my appetite watching this" *john begins retching* "ok bad idea, now i'm risking losing my dinner"

[@enigmaticbleu]

Haha, I was eating dinner while watching and that was fine.

[@Jiian]

enigmaticbleu So was I. Never had a problem watching someone retch.

[@DrIzaakjohnson]

tuseroni I was watching the IT crowd in the background and saw your comment.. :)

[@Arian545]

"Superhuman strength" made me smile a little, sort of weird how young boys view there fathers as basically superheroes

[@JenniferJiang2013]

But it's also the most adorable thing ever. I mean it's Henry Green!

[@Arian545]

Jennifer Jiang Is he named after Hank?

[@meadowgreene]

Arian hmn I believe he was named after their grandfather, like Hank was.

[@themaskedninja763]

John: That looks delicious. Henry: No it doesn't...

[@themaskedninja763]

I never would have guessed that this would be my most-liked KZbin comment :/

[@himynameishelen]

I just want John Green and Misha Collins to become buddies so Henry can special guest star on Cooking Fast and Fresh with West. I want nothing more than more toddler cookery specials.

[@fridayfan111]

Tumblr would explode, and we can't have that.

[@TheRaspberryExperiment]

I was thinking about Misha's video while watching it.

[@lilykep]

I think pasta with jam sauce and slobber carrots would be a hit

[@paintdry84]

Imagine the civilizations that could be toppled if they worked together

[@amyamyamy17]

this was my first thought EXACTLY

[@BloggedLifeNina]

Cooking with Henry would be a great series and I would watch it all. I really like watching you just be a fairly happy dad with your kid.

[@crawlinsideasong]

John's demeanor when he says "Alright, I'll have a little bit of hat." never fails to amuse me.

[@hughcaldwell1034]

I know I'm several years late to this party, but i also enjoyed that. And the delivery on "It's a meat-like product."

[@CurrentlyDisconected]

luncheon loaf looks like the stuff pet food factories throw out

[@k.reynolds1953]

I think it's actually very cheap, very generic brand Spam . . . I think.

[@St0ttZy]

Kaila Reynolds yeah basically

[@Dajara]

i am so glad there is no smell component of youtube yet

[@favoritanton]

You should totally make "The Henry Meals" into a thing. Like, invite people over? Present a menu?

[@Th3DarthHom3r]

The Henry Games!

[@anjakovacevic4973]

yeesss :D

[@JeweledOwl812]

My Drunk Kitchen Orange Juice Edition Featuring Henry Green :3

[@ExplodingViper777]

You're a good dad, John. A very good dad.

[@OneTrueEdge]

To be fair, nothing says value like dropping a vowel.

[@ethanabelar]

"Oh, that looks delicious." "No it doesn't!" Perfect

[@thejerrymobile]

... I'm going to go appreciate some chicken that was not mechanically separated ...

[@Fria15]

"That.. that looks delicious." "No it doesn't." LMFAO.

[@mikkosaarinen3225]

Just wanted to say that probably the best part of the video is at the end when John retches for the last time and you can just hear the Yeti snicker behind the camera, that's true love :b

[@NathanTalbott]

I'm somewhat disappointed in myself for, more than once during the viewing of this video, thinking that I might see John throw up, and be genuinely excited about it

[@ajsmusicmadness]

you werent alone. these punishments are always so entertaining!

[@ablestmage]

John: That looks delicious. Henry: No it doesn't!

[@victoriafoster4490]

"okay i'll have a little bit of hat" he sounds like a kid being forced to eat his veggies

[@aggs7721]

2:26 "my cabbages!!"

[@MikeDeLue]

Best. Comment. Ever.

[@ForeverCellist]

He speaks so well for his age!

[@hannahdevyor858]

Come on. He's John Green's son. Of course he speaks well. :-)

[@purekatherine]

Henry gets to help with all punishments from now on, right?

[@svenskiovich]

"What about hat?" "....alright, I'll have a little bit of hat."

[@xXHaname]

I'm just impressed he knows how to use the word "superhuman."

[@catherinesvideos156]

1:27 "Dad has super human strength" CUTEST EVER

[@tobortine]

You have a fantastic relationship with your children.

[@danheidel]

That can't be right, you should only be capable of giving negative feedback. _rimshot_

[@danheidel]

Even with this crowd, I'm kind of surprised an electrical engineering joke got this many upvotes.

[@danheidel]

I can't take all the credit. After all, There would be any amplification without the OP.

[@ChristyLou]

My feelings went from being incredibly happy because Henry is adorable to feeling really bad for laughing at John's misfortune.

[@telephonedude]

Look at it this way: If we *wouldn't* laugh at John's expense, his torment and misery would all have been for naught. It would be cruel of us *not* too laugh at him. I say we're doing him a favor. #ItHelpsMeSleepAtNight

[@vinathi1]

When your son started "drooling" on the slobber carrots.. oh my god this video is perfect.

[@cubsgirl101]

John, when you're running low on Vlogbrother video ideas, you can always film yourself making dinner with Henry again. Because Nerdfighteria enjoys adorable children (which Henry qualifies as)

[@zombieedrea]

Am I the only one who burst out laughing when Henry started spitting on the food?

[@Alizael13]

Henry is the BEST punishment meal giver EVER!!!

[@LifeGivesYouLeimons]

"That looks delicious" Henry: "No it doesn't" This kid knows where it's at.

[@butteredflies]

"That's superhero strength!" Ahhhh, Henry's such a cute one!!

[@fikzlabamba]

Damn, Henry knows how to cook

[@baabaaer]

Suddenly I have the urge to shout MY CABBAGES!!!!

[@lmj393]

this comment made me so happy

[@banditontherun1024]

The part where henry commented on John's super human strength and John was so proud was really cute. Also you didnt cook that spam all the way through.

[@syedmonzareen5002]

Does it make me a bad nerd fighter if I was laughing hysterically while watching John ingest the deadly toxins known as slobber carrots,cabbage hat, and luncheon mean?

[@lauramalone9209]

I believe that makes you a Good nerdfighter.

[@spencergeller2236]

No. Why would he ingest smoke flavored mystery meat otherwise?

[@dannicasanova1358]

does it make me a bad nerd fighter if i actually like luncheon meat?

[@spencergeller2236]

I mean, a little weird, but I guess not(?)

[@lauramalone9209]

Naaah, I'm pretty sure nerdfighters are allowed to be "unironically enthusiastic" about whatever they want. Including odd meat-like products.

[@Ethlandiaify]

Oh god, this man has consumed blended Happy Meals, Fat Sandwiches, and the (what assumed to be) human body's natural capacity of Peeps. And it was The "Slobber Carrots and Gross Barbecue" that finally broke him. We should all be afraid ladies and gentleman, we should all be afraid.

[@CaptIronfoundersson]

I love the videos with you and your son. You seem like an awesome dad, delightfully sarcastic.

[@ctennyson4697]

Henry wants the salt. He craves that mineral.

[@anniecox8735]

GET OUT

[@brookefaherty1976]

Please leave

[@bcunningham3718]

Thank you for reminding me of this wonderful meme

[@MoonShoesPatty]

I thought the meal looked okay, and then John took a bite of the luncheon loaf. Oh boy.

[@JamieArpinRicci]

I warn you, John: Wait until he is 6. The punishments will get MUCH worse.

[@fueledbyamandaa]

"I would prefer my drool." "Why?" Ahahah adorable.

[@ReSubrose]

"Dad has super hero strength!" *GOSH DARN IT HENRY, WHY ARE YOU SO ADORABLE. URGH*

[@EccentricInTexas]

If they put the E in Value that would be deceptive labeling.

[@myrtolefk]

I know that other people might have said that but you should totally have a cooking show or something with Henry, Misha Collins and West! you'd be so awesome all together!!!

[@ddfjsdflz]

Cooking fast and fresh with West.

[@TravisBell79]

add in Hanna Hart too :)

[@jaypillsbury843]

Hank was on the advertisement before this video. Just thought that was funny.

[@ThatWasSoYesterday]

John: that looks delicious Henry: no it doesn't

While I enjoyed that - I would have loved to see John Green buy something with ONLY PENNIES

[@SweetieXoX27]

Wow. I can just tell by how Henry speaks that he's extremely intelligent. I'm very impressed by his diction and vocabulary!

[@AHatredOfEs]

Yeah it might be that, but also his parents always seemed to speak to him using real words and grammar rather than baby talk, which might have helped a lot.

[@SweetieXoX27]

And that's good parenting, I believe. Listen to Henry compared to other three year olds --- he sounds like a seven year old.

[@elicronin3040]

"That looks delicious." "No it doesn't." Henry knows what's up.

[@wowitsella]

hahaha my favourite bit was John - "Oh that looks delicious" Henry - "No it doesn't!"

[@DominiqueLempares]

So, obviously you should send Henry to culinary school.

[@AngelMojo15]

John I think you and Henry should have a cook off with Misha Collins and his son west!

[@nlm2nd]

I was thinking the same thing!

[@BroadwayBaby313]

I think that would be an overload of adorable

[@HannieeBabiee]

I was thinking that! It would be so amazing to watch

[@TheLastLoneWolf]

"They're so focused on value that they didn't even spend the money to print the 'e' in value." I guess you could say they should... *Puts on shades* buy a vowel.

[@anmoljoshi7250]

Am I the only one who doesn't get it?

[@kfaison918]

"How do you think it's going to taste, Henry?" "Like goo!" He's definitely not wrong.

[@TheSongwritingCat]

"Dad has superhero strength." I cannot handle how sweet that moment was.

[@blahblahblahblha303]

The 'slobbering' was the cutest thing ever. I need a kid. I'm gonna go out and make a kid now. I'll report back in a few hours.

[@largehoman]

*years

[@JaredMadru]

largehoman *Months, around 9

[@largehoman]

*Not unless his hand has ovaries

[@mynar_lenahan]

It's like the good old days, except this time, it's slightly better. John trying desperately not to vomit in front of his child is one of the best moments. This sounds like a review. Five stars.

[@jnzkngs]

That was basically solidified, multi species "pink slime" and is only similar to SPAM in shape. SPAM is awesome small pieces of pork trimmed off of common cuts to make them more uniform and packaged in gelatin so you can slice and fry it. :)

[@jadea513]

I laughed for the last 2 minutes of this video and now my abs hurt and I'm crying. Henry video + punishment = awesome.

[@danheidel]

Time to KZbin like it's 2007! This was one of my favorite Vlogbrothers videos in a while and that's not just because my food pyramid is just a big triangle labelled 'schadenfreude'

[@carolinareader6386]

I don't want to in anyway impugn Henry's fantastic slobbering technique but maybe John should have waited until Alice started teething so she could help out. Teething babies have mad slobbering skills

[@helenfoster6597]

Petition to have Henry Green and West Collins make a cooking channel

[@wheezy_mads]

OMG yes!!!

[@rowantree7218]

Helen Foster +

[@isaiahtheraccoon8928]

+

[@yoa8795]

Helen Foster +

[@Sunhawk7ajj]

Hahaha Hank desperate lie "It looks delicious" Henry "No it doesn't!" ROFL

[@jems.crafting.closet]

And thus this day shall henceforth be known as the day that Henry learned about sarcasm....

[@alexandriatse5456]

its john, not hank :P

[@Sunhawk7ajj]

OOps lol

[@steephzz]

Petition for a show in which Henry Green and West Collins prepare meals together.

[@cherrybutterflyproductions6795]

It's hard to decide who is more adorable in this.

[@RKH1502]

Holy crap - Henry's like, nearly four now... that's almost five, which is closing in on six.

[@Nelle4ever]

Love your profile pic!

[@TheXtamac]

Which is just shy of seven.

[@cornishphilosopher]

TheXtamac Lets be honest hear, he's almost ten

[@marypimm9082]

TheXtamac and 8 is 4 TWICE!

[@TheGiddyElf]

I know what I'm having for dinner tomorrow! (Anything but this.)

[@iNatix22]

I've been feeling ill all day and was unable to vomit, but right after I watched this video, I finally got sick. Thanks John, you're always there to help someone out when they need it

[@sarahhormeilaawungshi2428]

The Unwonted joy of watching people eat gross food that makes them want to vomit :P

[@AdamTheAlien]

I may or may not have completely lost it (spoiler: I totally did) when John Green said "Oh, that looks delicious," and Henry replied, "No it doesn't!" I think there's always something inherently entertaining when kids reply to sarcasm with a passionate statement of fact. (Though at the same time, it's somewhat depressing that, as we age, we learn to be so casually deceitful. Is it a good thing or a bad thing that adult language includes a use of words in a manner that you're just supposed to _know_ intentionally means the exact opposite of what was said?)

[@skygonecrazywithstars]

Or is it fascinating that as humans age we can differentiate between someone speaking truth and someone being sarcastic?