Covert Narcissists Do Not Leave You Alone

[@karanfield4229]

There's something comforting about the comment section, reading others experiences, and as u said, we are not alone. Thanking you seems insignificant. You're changing lives. Xxx

[@debbiemirza1744]

Thanking me is definitely not insignificant. It means a lot and fills my heart. Thank you! And I'm so happy the comment section is comforting. It feels amazing to create a space that helps and heals. Thank you Karan! xx

[@runforfunken]

I get a lot of comfort from reading other peoples comments who have been through the same hell as myself. Finished with my narcissist girlfriend a couple of days ago & healing each day. You're all amazing & deserve true love & to be happy. Stay strong xxx

[@phineasjwhoopie4615]

I have also found this to be so. Many good insights shared by others who have been, or are there also.

[@maryfarrell2296]

@@debbiemirza1744 I would like to thank you also,. Your voice is clear & also very soothing,.

[@AngieMusicArt]

Agreed! Feels like a safe place to share. I shared on another post that was so personal but necessary to share. 🙂

[@carolb3869]

Anyone who has escaped is a champion!!! Anyone thinking of doing so should!!! Narcs are harmful and it only gets worse b/c you get so worn down that you are unable to function properly. That’s sad!! I say: level that playing field by going strict no contact and leave for good! They are parasites. Don’t let them take another drop of blood from you. You can do this. In fact, you must in order to save yourself. Wishing you all calm peace and strength during this troubling time (temporary, I hope). Take charge and go!!! You’ll be glad you did - this can’t be overstated enough. Is it the right thing to do? 1 billion percent yes!!! This from someone on the other side and immensely grateful!!! Best to you all 💙

[@eyeoffthetiger2691]

Carol Duncan thank you for you're uplifting words💕 I got out after 3 1/2 years..He discarted me just like that..i'm thankfull..got my energie back and most important..No Contact!👍

[@carolb3869]

Lynn Htown Amazing seriously keep going - you will only benefit and grow into a wonderful YOU!!! Bad days happen, but don’t be deterred - do what you must - I have no doubt you will succeed ☺️👏💪💙 so great really!!!

[@lalocks4992]

Carol Duncan. My ex covert narc was different. I dont count on ever hearing from him again. I went no contact in Dec and we live in separate cities so....

[@lalocks4992]

Raman Dhaliwal. My ex narc could care less. I had to deal with a miscarriage by myself so if someone could leave me during that critical time, they shouldnt bother coming back. He's prideful, I count on never hearing from him again.

[@torrihoward9729]

Yes! I started to believe that I was the Crazy one 😣

[@holographicc6974]

Yes! They try to distract you from YOUR DIVINE POWER

[@miss.t.7991]

Exactly, thank you for this. 🙌

[@Real2k25]

Wow

[@rjrj2673]

Yep!

[@Real2k25]

@@rjrj2673 they are horrible

[@YahawahshiIsTrueGOD]

The Empath's Ultimate Power Is In His True Living GOD YAHAWAHSHI Jesus Christ ❤️🙏👑😍 MASTER

[@bobgunner3086]

When the narc tries to re-establish contact as mine did this morning, I like to use the analogy of you being an escape from a WWII prison came. One day you make the decision to escape the camp, and just walk out the front gate acting like you know what you are doing. And you make it! You eventually meet up with the French resistance and they help you get back home. The one day, 3 years later you get a phone call and its that same commandant from the prison camp! With the same shrill German accent and everything. He's ordering you to come back to the prison camp and that your escape was illegal. And for a second you start to buy into it. Then you remember, you are back home safe and sound and all you have to do is hang up the phone. (credit Curry Blake JGLM Ministries).

[@turningchaosintobeauty4328]

Bob Gunner thank you for this

[@concerned1]

Yes. That’s exactly how it is.

[@bobgunner3086]

@Brandon Taylor no need Brandon ;-) I know the feeling but don't let them win!

[@Noemie291]

so cool I love it

[@trustyourwisdom7807]

Good analogy

[@bettyfreddy8377]

It's like you want to move on with your life but they want to hold you hostage.

[@droose5158]

and if you stay long enough even if you get your life back it doesn't remotely resemble your old life

[@lanaroske2221]

Mine tried hoovering after 25 years I didn’t even know who he was anymore and he acted like he just saw me a few days ago 😳and I was waiting for him! This is truly sick and scary

[@yaonpointtip]

Lana Roske they’re insane, they never really discard they just put you on a shelf mentally and think you’ll always be theirs

[@privateprivate8366]

Yep. Told my mother this past January to never contact me again. Contacted me a week ago, like I never said it and I do not think it’s dementia.

[@cherylstokes636]

@@privateprivate8366 with NM into her 80s, i too wondered if the illogical speech and actions were dementia. calling it dementia simply because of age doesn't wash, if they were pulling the same crap in MIDDLE age. On the other hand, it very well could be dementia - or some other cognitive or neurological problem - now, in old age, from the self abuse and their horrible inner critics and genetic factors or what have you.

[@privateprivate8366]

@@cherylstokes636 yeah, when I look back, I started seeing issues about maybe a decade ago. They were subtle and intermittent and I didn’t know anything about personality disorders back then. Plus, if you’re the golden child and not the target, you probably aren’t seeing things, until you’re turned into the scapegoat. My mother called me about 2 weeks ago. I’d told her to never contact me again. She will fauxget that, but she won’t forget my phone number. I’m not a neurologist or any type of expert in dementia and even though I consider that my sister may still be in the picture, helping her, and fulfilling family business orders, I think my mother is doing just fine eating and paying her bills. There’s no illogical speech, except for the fact that, when she called, she wanted me to take her shopping for beauty products. Sure, she could fauxget and say she doesn’t recall me telling her to never contact me again or that I never said that, but that sounds pretty much like NPD. Whatever you tell them or whatever you want or whatever boundaries you have, simply have no meaning to them. I may be seeing the same thing with a neighbor that, despite me discontinuing our conversations last year, she may have come up with a new reason to reinitiate them, which I will need to shut down again. Ultimately, where my mother is concerned, also feel that, when she told me she’d always used me and that I may need to take abuse from my sister, to maintain the relationship, the fact that was floating anywhere in her mind, was cause for me to go no contact. That was 3 years ago. Also, as I cannot be her caregiver anyway, whatever she originally “intended” for my sister and I to inherit, if she can’t care for herself, will be acquired by the state and she will become a ward of the state. Far better care, than she’d receive from me.

[@nuria3736]

Debbie, it is incredible the light that a person that has gone through tremendous emotional pain as you have, can cast into the world. I truly appreciate all your videos and work

[@debbiemirza1744]

Oh wow. Thank you Nuria! Your tender comment brought tears to my eyes. Sending you so much love! xx

[@cammiek3348]

If they're so obsessed with us, and won't let us go, then why don't they channel that energy into becoming better people? They must know they're relationship fukups? Or do they truly not care and sadisticly enjoy tormenting us, with no need to be a healthy permanent part of our lives? It's really sad, how alone they must be, when they can just choose recovery.

[@Red88Rex]

They don't think anything is wrong with them. They do not think like you and me. There are VERY few self aware narcs.

[@freedomfighter4830]

I think it’s giving them a rush to make you beg for them while they know they treat you bad. My ex covert narc gf is fully aware about what she is doing and that gave me a shock. They just like to get a rise out of you. She dumped me 1 week after i gave up my job

[@Lauren-vf1ip]

The know what they are doing. He told me in the beginning that “it’s his weirdness not me and that he is incapable of maintaining an adult relationship” I wish I saved the long email he wrote to describe why he is impossible and couldn’t be in a relationship....it was interesting to hear him articulate his awareness. I did respect him as he knew his limitations and was up front with them. He never labeled himself a narcissist but always said mental health wasn’t his strength. I think he might be self aware NPD. It seemed like he knew but wasn’t going to share that label with me and that was his choice. I don’t know why he would be afraid to tell me ???He told me all the warnings of his behavior and I continued hanging around him. I admired and was attracted to his honesty and flaws. We had a lot of fun together 2.5 years of fun :) but I knew I was in love and it was danger zone bc he couldn’t feel love. I knew I couldn’t be magical and change that so I had to leave him behind and move on. I think he’s relieved in a way that he no longer has the pressure of me in his life. I think he didn’t want to hurt me but he knew it would happen bc of his inability to reciprocate. At that point I was falling pretty hard for him and I would have been crushed to know he was dating and sleeping around. Of course he was but I didn’t think about it. I just tried to enjoy the time we spent but it gets to a point of reality check. I couldn’t fake myself anymore and it hurt my heart too much to think of. I had no say over what he did nor did I want to. I jwantwd things to happen because he wanted them to not bc I made him . knew I was in a tough position.I didn’t like him as a just a “friend”. I was in love but denied it til the end. I was only digging myself deeper into having my heart ripped out and stomped on. I’m mostly glad I went NC. Two months or more now and I can see the whole picture much clearer. No side was at fault. He was honest up front, I decided I liked him too much to just walk away and my friendship feelings turned into love. Just mine. Not his. It stinks. I think if he could have loved we would have been a pretty awesome couple. I wish I could give him a heart transplant... and brain too :) Stupid mental illness sucks and takes awesome people with it.

[@dinolemma]

I currently have a narcissistic stalker. After over 10 years of no contact! I didn’t even realize it until she kept appearing in the periphery of my life. I come from a very narcissistic family as well. So first after I cut contact with the N she contacted my brother on a dating site. She contacted my male cousin. She somehow found out where I worked and told my professional co-workers that we were friends. She somehow became ‘friends’ with my N cousin and her husband. She like goes to their house for parties and sh$t like that. She didn’t even know them before. And the last straw was when she added my N mother on Facebook! N mother relished it so much. Finally I had to block her from NM’s page. I really don’t get exactly what supply she’s getting from this. I am very LC with my family. Even N grandmother got in on it. These people are a piece of work.

[@meraphoenix989]

dinolemma, I think in some strange and energetic way all the Narcissists are connected. Besides that, do you notice that all the Narcissists you know, behave and act the very same way.( overtly and some covertly but still act the same way). It's like they are all programed the same way. It's like they all drink from the same stream. Because of this they are unknowingly connected to one another in a psychic way. I do hope you are doing good after 3 more years of being encircled in shark tank of Narcissists that was activated and echoed through out by that Narcissist stalker. Any one of the Narcissists in your life can produce that same effect. You're observant enough to see which one of Narcissists in your life that this activation of activities came from. Know that in some strange way that they all are spiritual/ psychic-ally connected on a unconscious level. I wish you the best 🙏

[@bridgetrodgers2220]

@@meraphoenix989 I have felt this vibe as well. Or noticed what I think you're talking about. I sometimes wonder if the old fairy tales with Goblins, Trolls, Fairies, etc are ways that people (in this case Europeans) communicated about ...say NPD people or dark empath people.

[@meraphoenix989]

@@bridgetrodgers2220 👍 I remember a Euro-story from grade school about a Troll that lived underneath a bridge and he would cross everyone that tried to come over that bridge. One day a billy goat horned that ole Troll and knocked the living daylights out of him and put an end that Troll. When I think of the Euro-Troll in fictional books for children I think of a Narcissist😖

[@pablolewinsky867]

@@meraphoenix989 That's true ..I find my N behaves so similar to lot many other's here ... so scary ..feel like I am in water with hidden shark

[@meraphoenix989]

I don't know if anybody here is ok with "archetypal astrological chakra tarot readings". I wasn't until I came across this guy called PlutoBean. He describes the Narcissistic relationship based on your zodiac sign in the most symbolic and accurate terms I have ever seen. Watch if you'd like, lf not I understand🙏 @ 8:15 kzbin.info/www/bejne/gKjEpIOid82BZrc @ 12:19 kzbin.info/www/bejne/gKjEpIOid82BZrc

[@zeannalauer9747]

I've been with mine since 1998. We have a 3 year old together. My mother is one. So I've never been free of these people. I pray to Jesus for us all.

[@cherylstokes636]

Zeanna, i join you in prayer, for all of us - your child is still young enough -- my biggest regret is i allowed the toxic family members around my children for far too long - but you still have time to make a big difference in your baby's life - stop the generation curse in it's tracks - you and your child deserve to be free.

[@mr.enigma4475]

I am guilty of displaying covert narcissist behaviors in my last relationship. I am the son of a covert narcissist mother who manipulated my father discretely my entire life. While I had no intentions on calculating a plan to use and abuse my ex-girlfriend, I almost innately mimicked the very same sentiments my mother used on my father. My ex had enough love and patients left for me to expound on what she believed was me being a covert narcissist. I am thankful that she exposed masks that I never knew were there. We are going no contact and I want nothing more than for her to regain all that I've drained from her, as well as time to reflect on who I am, and who I thought I was.

[@ShortedWave]

Mr. Enigma, have you heard of FLEAS? It's from the expression "if you lie down with dogs, you'll catch fleas." If you have lived a life under covert narcissistic manipulation, it's inevitable you will pick up certain maladaptive defence mechanisms or behaviours in order to survive in that environment. Also, some things will seem "normal" to you only because that's all you knew. This doesn't mean that you are a narcissist. Narcissists are fundamentally damaged, personality disordered individuals and it's generally incurable... they are unable to recognise their own failings , to admit flaws, to accept personality responsibility. They don't want to change as they don't see anything wrong in how they behave. People with 'fleas' simply need to recognise and unlearn the bad behaviours they were conditioned into. For a person with FLEAS, the healing begins when you leave that environment, and begin to experience more healthy relationships. The fact you're able to hold up your hands and say "I have a problem" and accept criticism, suggests to me that you don't have full-blown NPD, but instead you may have internalised some toxic behaviour traits which you can UNlearn. Google "narcissistic fleas"and you'll find a lot of useful material. I wish you good luck in your healing journey!

[@mr.enigma4475]

I believe what your'e saying is absolutely correct. For some time - and to this day, the guilt of my wrongdoings weigh so heavy on what I've done that I figured my ex-girlfriend had to be correct about me. It was beginning to drive me mad. The more I read into these studies, the more I realized that it just couldn't be. Countless stories about the complete lack of empathy the abusers had. How they felt absolutely nothing, and would in most cases - move right along to the next victim. Nothing like who I know I am within. My ex has later gone on to tell me very nonchalantly that I'm ''not a full blown Narcissist. Just have tendencies". I oftentimes wonder if she labeled me this purely out of emotional frustration, or was she beginning to gaslight me? Regardless, I'm well aware of what iv'e done and wish to God each day that she'd allow me a shot at being the most complete man I could be for her. I feel eternally indebted to her and it kills me that she could not experience the best me that I CAN be.

[@torrihoward9729]

You are a rare person who had that Label. I'm very glad you were Willing to Change. You are Blessed 💕🙏 💕

[@mr.enigma4475]

Torri Howard Thank you greatly. And I give thanks to the higher power tthat allows light to be casted on my stains so that I may address it. Months have gone by and I'm still eaten up by my actions. Forgiving myself is still a climb up a steep and icy hill for me. However, I'll be there soon. Bless you and thank you ✊🏽💜

[@torrihoward9729]

@@mr.enigma4475 Amen 🙏💕

[@enlightenedone7083]

Very true. A narcissist that I escaped a few months ago just joined my gym. I walked in on Saturday, and there he was. Creepy.

[@debbiemirza1744]

So creepy

[@lisahutton3754]

Yikes

[@raffaferre]

The same happened to me. Very Creepy.

[@cforest4281]

This is not coincidence. I got a tip to get rid of a stalker and it was to laugh at them loudly in a public place. I am a guy so I don't feel the same physical threat but it was an effective measure. I also learnt how to gaslight the x. Took me a while but I got there in the end.

[@torrihoward9729]

Ugh 😫

[@irene6109]

I blocked my ex narc on all social media and have since been getting friend request from multiple burner/ catfish accounts that are obviously him- one of which was actually almost convincing. This really is a clinical disorder.

[@frankielaine6097]

I appreciate you 'putting yourself out there' so publicly, Debbie, despite still dealing with your own experiences and the anxiety it causes. Your book 'The Covert Passive Aggressive Narcissist' saved my sanity. I've highlighted so many areas of similarity to my own experience that probably 85% of it is marked in highlighter pen! In the aftermath of the relationship ending, the narcissist in my life wrote a "fictional" story which he posted online about having an emotionally abusive, controlling wife, while he was sweet, sensitive and vulnerable. There is no doubt in my mind it was directed at me. So, I really connect with what you're saying about projection and the ways in which they achieve it. I'm nit brave enough to do what you do. I feel safer staying hidden on the internet, but I want you to know how much I value your bravery. It's a lifeline for people like me.

[@debbiemirza1744]

I'm so glad the book and videos are helping! Sending you so much love! xx

[@GaryPotocki82]

Thank you for videos being one of the many beacons of light for others were all not alone were privileged..... I am 36 and finally escaping the hell of my past life. I have nothing left to give them.....i did my best and loved them.

[@stonedbunny5721]

Dr. Romani says “vulnerable/covert” narcs sometimes do leave you alone; depending. Mine has had minimal attempts at hovering. No responsibly , accountability or let’s get back together because I’ll make your life better. It’s the kids miss you. Manipulation after the next, just no real reason why to get back together.

[@donnavickery9623]

I had a Borderline Personality Disorder mother and 7 BPD aunts. When I was 35 years old my BPD mother had a stroke. I spent my whole life taking care of her but when she had a stroke her 7 sisters turned on me and did everything they could do to emotionally and psychologically destroy me. They want me to come to them and beg for forgiveness when I was the innocent victim.

[@lioydwilliams1850]

Donna Vickery,So sorry to hear your story,I think you deserve better

[@dragon2195]

Alot of people shouldn't have children because of their childhoods and things that happened to them that they never got past. Some of the stuff that has happened to folks is just too traumatic and these folks don't know it's going to ruin their lives later on and the lives of their children .

[@phoenixwing4167]

This is why I didn't have kids. I got past a lot of things but I thought about the gene pool and, yeah, no thanks lol.

[@krisluvsutube2684]

I agree but narcs have children to get positive supply from others and the ability to have control over somebody gets them off.

[@mharper6877]

Thanks for this, Debbie. Your brave. Truly. I've thought about going public, just as you have but fear keeps me from doing it. And I don't know whether to be comforted by your message or more afraid. As you described your experience, I'm thinking, been there done that, although it is somewhat comforting to think I'm not alone. On the other hand, please don't tell me this never ends!!! What? Over twelve years have passed since I asked him to leave, filed for divorce, and then (hallelujah) finally divorced him. But in the past twelve years (even after divorce) he has conjured up every conceivable way to punish me. And he was successful in exacting immeasurable harm towards me. Which incidentally, was the only promise he kept in our marriage...he promised to destroy me. But that is not the end of the story. I survived. And I am thriving. Yet I experience a lingering fear that he will someday follow through with his death threats. I hope for the best but I'm also conscious of the fact that he delivers on his promises. So you are addressing both his threats and your audience. Very clever! Your going public is far more courageous than his stalking, don't you think?

[@angell504]

Thank you for this. No contact has been an exhausting obstacle course with my covert narc mom.

[@kamijenkins4202]

I took comfort in hearing you say that, "This has nothing to do with me." When you said that...OMGoodness, I was like, "She is so right about that." They are so predictable. It's a sad way to be. Great job in trying to help us survive and get away and STAY AWAY from these people. 3 years in it. 4 times tried to stay away. 2 weeks no contact this time around. Thanks to the love of my family and God I feel more confident that I will stay strong and never go back.

[@anniejefferson7614]

You need to go more into this. 16 years no contact and it's still happening like it was a fresh cut on finger. It's getting really annoying. Does it end.

[@oodleyboo]

Oh so sick!!!

[@G_rightwing]

Block

[@billfisher7597]

Hi Debbie! WOW! You've said a mouthful to me. I am suffering from this right now. Divorced my ex 32 years ago, but she still wants to be in the picture. I remarried and couldn't be happier and the ex knows this. We have one child, a daughter whom she turned against me. Just recently she tried to get info on me again by way of one of her old friends to friend me on Facebook. I NEVER responded. She knows I will not fall for it, but just as you said, they want us to know they are there and watching us. Thank you so much.

[@kingg213]

My covert Narc just couldn't help herself, after being divorced for 25 years with no contact at all. She volunteered to write my 38 year old daughter's obituary to be printed in the paper. She did email it for me to read, prior to submitting it to the paper. She, in the long list of surviving family members, inserted my name last, just above my daughters dog! I gave no reaction and let it remain the way it was written. I left it the way it was, because it said more about the author, than it did about me! She just couldn't resist the urge to gaslight me one last time!

[@carolloraine223]

Yes..it gets better when we get stronger! Ive gone No Contact . Im focusing on my happiness! Good luck in Boulder! 😉

[@marshabrown8343]

Thanks for this Debbie. I just experienced more trauma again two days ago at the hands of my c-narc mother. This was because I set a new boundary with her but she got an emotional reaction out of me. She lured right into her game I was doing pretty good up until then but right now I feel low and drained because of that experience. I'm going to share what happened here: She asked me to help her purchase something she needed but she said she didn't know how to get it on her own (I'm her only child). I told her the conditions I'd need in order to help her ( I don't trust her) and she readily agreed to those conditions. While in the midst of helping her she began to SLIGHTLY disregard the conditions. When I started to reinforce the conditions she asked me why I hated her so much and why am I so bitter to which I responded that I don't hate her but rather I believe she hates me and that's where she got me to react. I tell a few people now about this toxicity that I've dealt with and am still dealing with but for the most part no one really seems to grasp how violent this is. I'm so tired. I've been dealing with this my whole life with her and I'm just tired. I need to just build up the resolve to go no contact. It's a lot. Even though I feel like I'm making no progress to protect myself better from the abuse, I know deep down that I am making progress. I immediately started practicing those tips about speaking calm, loving words to myself and I just broke down and cried. Thanks for sharing your story, you helped me to remember that there will be good days and bad days on our journey to freedom and healing but if we stay resilient, the bad days will become less and less. I hope this personal experience that I'm sharing can do the same for someone else reading this. These videos like yours, Ross' and Meredith's are educating me and helping to empower me. Thanks. I still find that even though the words are clear in the video, the sound is still significantly low. But however the sound is coming in, I'm just deeply grateful for your knowledge and advice. Hugs!

[@debbiemirza1744]

Thank you for sharing this Marsha. That is essentially trauma to the body when we experience toxic interactions like these. I really feel with you on this and so understand. Have you read my first book, The Safest Place Possible? That might be a really tender and helpful book for you right now. In it I talk about different things I've done to help me heal. I'll discuss it in a video at some point. I hope you do something special for yourself today, something that feels very loving to you. xx

[@marshabrown8343]

Debbie Mirza Thanks Debbie. I intend to get your books as soon as I can.

[@katherinedelaney-disiervi9369]

Marsha Brown True to all that it was very draining and you hide it bc you said he was so great and your like where is the man it’s a little boy that can’t maintain eye contact, won’t deal at all with emotion and will say we’re not talking about bc he didn’t want to deal with it.... I believe in karma and he has to live with that. I’m stronger and I learned from this and conitinue to educate myself and I’m an investigator now but I’m happy and free 👍🙏😉

[@jcandthe3]

Marsha Brown - may I recommend Lisa A. Romano, Breakthrough Life Coach, Inc. She has videos on KZbin as well. She deals more with narcissistic parents. She is amazing as well. She also has some meditations.

[@marshabrown8343]

jcandthe3 thanks very much for your suggestion! I do listen to her from time to time as well. All these resources have been *LIFE* *CHANGING* for me and seemingly many others.

[@holographicc6974]

They are insane and you need to make it clear without emotion that if they contact you again, you will get a restraining order and then stick to it! They don’t do anything that you don’t allow.

[@deannab4175]

Mine after two years still cyber stalks and plays on my phone making fake numbers. It’s crazy!

[@donnavickery9623]

I have also had a hard time hearing your videos. I have this video turned up as high as I can get it and I can hear it but it needs to be a little louder. But let me say that I was married to a covert narcissist for 27 years and I love your videos and they have really helped me.

[@johnettasheckells1539]

I feel so alone. Really struggling. Thank you

[@theriverflows9714]

I had 5 years of hell when I took a job where a friend worked.He tied up my time from morning to night 7 days a week.If I ignored him he would park outside my house and beep the hooter and rev the engine.I knew I would get more crap the next day at work so he always won.He filled my car with garbage from his take-away food fixation...I could go on but needless to say my other buddies never believed it was happening at first but told me it was up to me to end it not their problem.I left the job and things got better overnight,a few nuisance phonecalls and sarcasm in the pub at weekends but my other buddies saw right through him so all was well.He is now in a ''sheltered housing programme'' and heavily monitored.I am the owner of a riverboat and semi-retired at 50.He was spotted wondering aimlessly around the local shopping area with grey hair and looking like something the cat dragged in.I'm an Empath and he knew it..perfect target!...I got away...I got free!

[@narcfreekeekee9168]

My goodness they certainly don't. I'm now currently on my 9th discard. He keeps leaving me for the new supply. Only comes around when he is homeless bored or low on supply. I foolishshly let him come back again after being no contact for almost a year. I'm paying for it again. In more ways than one. This is truly it this time. I'm done.

[@eyeoffthetiger2691]

narcfree keekee wow 9 times😯 darling 💕love yourself..dont take the narc back again and again..you are more worth than piece of garbage. This man doesn't love you or care about you..he know's that you keep taking him back so he is taking and taking and taking advantage of you..say to yourself ✊*No More!* Love yourself💕💕

[@narcfreekeekee9168]

Lynn Htown thank you for those encouraging words. Thanks for caring. Yes i took him back all those times. This last time he discarded me less than a week later again for the new woman. She told him i was making youtube videos now he is licking his narc wounds. Also the new supply has broken up with him. She found out he was cheating on her. The exact same thing he did too me. Told the new supply i was weak for him. I really took that personally. If he comes back i have the police on speed dial. Im moving on meeting new people now. Feeling better and this community has helped me get through this.

[@eyeoffthetiger2691]

narcfree keekee no problem..we are here to support each other💯.. good for you that you out of the madness👍

[@narcfreekeekee9168]

Lynn Htown thank you for those encouraging words. Thanks for caring. Yes i took him back all those times. This last time he discarded me less than a week later again for the new woman. She told him i was making youtube videos now he is licking his narc wounds. Also the new supply has broken up with him. She found out he was cheating on her. The exact same thing he did too me. Told the new supply i was weak for him. I really took that personally. If he comes back i have the police on speed dial. Im moving on meeting new people now. Feeling better and this community has helped me get through this.

[@narcfreekeekee9168]

Lynn Htown yes. Feels good like seriously i feel good

[@libertycan6959]

Great video.. This can go on for YEARS and you'll never know. They literally feed off it. Don't come apart, react or fall into paranoia as that is when they win the LOTTERY. Narcissist are patient, crafty and persistent and use the fact that you cannot comprehend the evil in which they work. Hello Boulder I use to live up the road in Louisville. Beautiful area. Stay strong.

[@banjoreno]

Thanks Debbie. Your info really helps. The sound is fine.

[@debbiemirza1744]

Oh I'm so glad it helps. Thank you for telling me that, Ben! And for the feedback on the sound

[@kathrynscarano5310]

Great content. Clear sound. thanks!

[@debbiemirza1744]

Great! Thanks! And you are so welcome xx

[@randomfan792]

When I first left him I gained a lot of weight because he lost interest when I was pregnant and it was almost peaceful. I realized I was doing exactly what I did as a teen when my uncle perv started trying to molest me. Make myself ugly, so men don’t hurt me. Well I got mad, fuck these guys making me feel bad all the time. I got myself in shape and took some self defense classes. There was a point where I punched him in the face and his nose was bleeding because he’d broke into my house again. Oh ya you never seen a better stalker than a narc.The places this freak turned up and how he found out where I was all the time still amazes me. My son was on a walkie with the neighbors son and he started laughing screaming “she hit him she hit him.” I Looked at my ex and said so are you staying to talk to the cops? He said no. I said “you could kill me, but everyone will know it was you.”He left and he hasn’t bothered me in 11yrs. A part of me knows I’ll never really be free but it’s 11good years. He’s never had one good month let alone 11yrs. Even if he gets me in the end, he still lost. My son is now 18 yrs old and he’s the best kid a mom could ask for. He’s handsome, smart and hardworking the girls love him even tho he’s still a mommas boy. He’d hate me by now if I didn’t do whatever it took to get that man out of my life. My life is blessed and part of my process was learning not to base my worth on what some guy thinks. Anyways it’s not often I talk about that stuff, it’s past life garbage, but I was down so low and I want people to know “this too shall pass.” We all gotta start somewhere.

[@TheMsmith77]

I had dropped one of the many narcs in my life. This one that I discarded in June 2018 will not go away. It has been almost FOUR years and he does not get it, or shall I say does NOT WANT to get it. I have blocked him from different numbers. I have told him many times that it is over and even told him I was going to get the police involved and he STILL calls and leaves messages. He told me that I was crazy, a drill sergeant, insane, held him hostage and all the things I have done for him (I bought him clothes, shoes, a belt because the one he had was on tatters literally. Hygiene products and took him to work, picked him up all while I was at an internship, working full time and going to school full time) wasn't "shit" as he put it. He'd disappear from work, lie about where he was and start fights with me when I went to work early claiming I was cheating on him. So, I dropped him back off at his brother's home and never looked back. Now, he won't go away. I have told him repeatedly there is nothing here for him and that just does not seem to reach his ears. He does not want to understand that I am no longer concerned with his well-being. He told me his friends hated me, they said not to trust me, but these are the same friends that did not write him in prison, put money on his books, or give a damn about him, but they are his trustworthy friends though. I have not responded to any of his calls when I figure out it is him. I want him to move on to someone else. Good lord, I do.

[@EleniBelle]

The same guy apparently made 12 diff accounts just to thumb down your video. Just dumped my Narc boyfriend. Self love above all. I never felt so liberated. I can breathe again!

[@jameslacroix1028]

i was with my ex for two years i went no contact and she has stalked and harrased me for a year .with everything phone and Facebook.email and letters in the mail.i remained no contact since june 2017.she even joined a support i was in and i am a member but didnt join the chat .and i guess her mask slipped.she never loved me .it was all about the loss of power and control she doesnt have anymore im empath and codependent

[@biancaswart1101]

I've lived no contact for a few months. I'm earning twice as much. I am grounded, have stability and live peacefully. However, when your life improves, all of a sudden he strikes viciously, trying to turn the new friends you have made into enemies. He constantly stalks you. What a loser!

[@Vixinaful]

I've noticed they try to take you down the stronger you get. Its emotional abuse until they think you crack, so realising theyre mentally ill and that theyre wrong, not you or that anything they say is right, gets you out of this. Knowledge is power!

[@kisigma1011]

Amen I got stronger in my financial gains they came so quick

[@lynnsher]

I broke up with my covert narcissist last Friday and said I didn't want any contract for at least a week. He's left flowers at my door the past two days and a long letter. It hasn't even been 4 days. Beautiful flowers.

[@itzajdmting]

Hey Debbie. Reading ya loud n' clear over here on the otherside of the Atlantic!! :)

[@debbiemirza1744]

Oh wonderful! Thank you Rob!

[@carolvevle8190]

I have speakers that raise the volume really good, so no problem here! You can also try mindfulness. Try grounding: Put your palms, of your hands together & press for 5 to 10 seconds. Also, place your palms, on a wall & push, while standing, for 5 to 10 seconds. It can really save the day!

[@adriennenicole7687]

The one I left keeps bringing random gifts to my door attempting to love balm me.. I finally said move ok with your life...

[@l.c.7855]

Hearing you loud & clear!! You are SO RIGHT!!

[@Ioana-un7ue]

Thank you 🙏 This message came at the right moment! I did not understand why this happens. Three years later after going no contact I still get unwanted text messages on my phone and Facebook from unknown cell numbers and fake accounts, respectively.

[@user-ey4rc5tu4t]

I had someone join my channel yesterday, and I wasn’t even aware I had a channel.

[@zandatee]

Thank You, Debbie for your work. Covert Narcissists are not lead by love. People are too little informed about the COVERT narcissism. Specially the covert. Knowledge, information is the main medicine.

[@michelletaylor369]

SOUND IS GREAT THANK YOU DEBBIE!

[@mousehead2000]

There's this 'carer' that looks after my landlady. She won't leave me alone. Constantly texting me or calling me to cover for her because she wants to go shopping or something so I blocked her. Then she stands at the bottom of the stairs every day and calls my name to again ask me to cover for her or ask a question so I've started ignoring her. Once she actually came into my room and I had to tell her to gtfo to which she reprimanded me for swearing! I've told her to stop contacting me as I am only a tenant. I am not a carer but she will not stop. She's like a Terminator cyborg. It's relentless.

[@prophecyrevelations5653]

True. Been no contact for a year, EVERY holiday the narc texts my mother FAITHFULLY "happy 4th of July" "merry Christmas" "happy Valentine's day" most recent "happy memorial day"...who wishes people a happy memorial day? She obviously doesn't know what that day is for. What a turd!

[@Supervision61]

he came to my house rang the bell and i never opened the door and i told him i had nothing to do with you.he is not believing it

[@DonaldSeymourjr]

You know you can block them?

[@ileolai]

Yeah just find the block button on their forehead. That helps.

[@tellasmella]

Not if you have a child together

[@DonaldSeymourjr]

@@thesagamanvee3932 true.

[@KAWill-wy5wq]

They see that as a challenge. Blocking does not work. They don't get it. It's creepy.

[@DonaldSeymourjr]

@@KAWill-wy5wq you are correct, but blocking them does set the tone.

[@ssmith543]

The sound is good. I think you could turn it up more. It is easier for us to turn it down, since we cant turn it up any more. And Boulder, wow! 25 square miles surrounded by reality. Ha ha. Like your content- just subscribed.

[@debbiemirza1744]

Hi S Smith. You'll notice the more recent videos have better sound. I found a good mic. :-)

[@crowquilltarot9008]

These videos are so helpful to me right now; thank you. And, you are so beautiful, btw. Fabulous hair!

[@lioydwilliams1850]

Crow Quill Tarot,hope you are not with a narcissist!

[@phoenixesrisingacademy]

I'm grateful someone brought this up. I have dealt with several cluster b personalities and they believe you are their property. I've also experienced them inducing their process onto you. In my case these were not friendships let alone love relationships but in these people's minds. I find them micromanaging my life in insidious ways through flying monkeys. It's very irritating.

[@sunnydayz3756]

Debbie are you planning on blocking this person or these persons for your peace of mind on Instagram? The Covert Narc which is my Mom and sisters Ive blocked out of my life and they still seem to get to me now through my children and staying in contact with them. I just cant escape!The sound of video is perfect!

[@debbiemirza1744]

I've done what I can with blocking. I can't control the rest, so I keep working on strengthening myself. Thank you for your love and concern. You have a good heart :-)

[@sheilaseniff9338]

Have you read the book Attached? Avoidants are the Narcicissts, Anxious are empaths. Anxious and secure attachment are different from avoidants who suppress

[@dragon2195]

It's just so sad that there are so many broken people in the world and they're beginning to pass in numbers the normal folks. Being a parent aint no joking matter because the mentally ill have children also and pass down bad genetics. Very unfortunate for normal folks.

[@vivavegas9538]

I was married to a Narc......she was a monster......i have been implying no contact for 2 weeks....i left her and all hell broke loose......there is life after a Narc.....

[@andyjohn7085]

Hi i can hear you, my ex was covert, but has hoovered me which was weird because it was like the beginning of our relationship which started a year ago. however since then i upset her via text suggesting she may have moved on with a new person, this really annoyed her and sent a hateful text back. Iv'e deleted every form of media contact and told her i'm going no contact as need to get on with my life.

[@blueeyestreenclaw6503]

Thank you Debbie and yes, reading other comments is really helpful 💎

[@delaney5721]

Mine started out aggressively cyber stalking me on every platform for months and months everyday even calling from different numbers and getting others to stalk and harass me in their circle and even run me off the road. I went outside 2 days ago haven’t seen him in 4 years I’m married now he’s in a new relationship but here he comes running at me in my yard and I had to call the cops. Mine stalks me in person now and trespasses the cops didn’t see him and didn’t believe me I feel the police would think I’m the issue since he had the audacity to file a harassment case against me even tho he is the one harassing me I want absolutely nothing to do with him I used to retaliate but then he’d use it against me legally and smear campaign I had a panic attack and cried and shamed to death when he showed up in my yard. He can’t let me go he hates the fact I locked down my social medias now so there’s no possible way he can get in he got off on hurting me and when I totally found a way out of it he couldn’t handle it and showed up

[@delaney5721]

**shaking

[@63rml]

Hi Debbie, Coulde you do a video about the covert narcissist as a coworker? Mike

[@fadista7063]

yes Debbie this would be so helpful to those of us being targeted at the place/space we earn our livelihood. My case is the passive aggressive corporate power broker who has stalked me in the multistory building I am in and treated me with true contempt. I recently started parking in an area so he cannot see me enter--although I think he might be capable of waiting in a vantage point and watching --I have ensured that I did not run into him (thankfully we work on different floors) for almost 2 weeks and my fibromyalgia is now going away although it comes back when I start thinking about when and how he will 'strike" again. You are so gifted in so many ways, I feel healing simply watching your videos. Thank you so much!

[@63rml]

Gatinha, I reported my narc for harressment, and now she is in it up to her eyeballs. Mike

[@RegisChapman]

Wow so many of your videos apply to my situation. I am frankly shocked at it, and it's been a bit mind-bending to see through the truth of it, after more than a decade, and a lot of water under the bridge.

[@katherinedelaney-disiervi9369]

I’m healing very well but he’s trying to do some messed up things like steak my license plate only one so it was more work and a big inconvenience and money on the ticket plates removal and putting them on and paying for new plates and missing a days work also waiting for the cops for four hours. Yesterday I was alerted that someone tried to use my credit card and they were denied bc I had fraudulent activity ever since our discard and I want him to think he discarded me but I refused to get mad I kept saying your not going to get mad bc that’s what he wants. Thanks I am feeling better bc I’m aware of the disorder but a lot of people don’t know like myself but I was done and then the dots/intuitions connected . So thank you enlighten and educating about this disorder and the syndrome we could go through 👍

[@debbiemirza1744]

You are so welcome Katherine. I'm so sorry for all you are going through. It is horrible the things they do. Sending you lots of love and strength xx

[@zenolad.whilder6641]

OH Hon... I know exactly what you're going through,but trust and believe that you being by this human piece of Pondscum., he'll get his comeuppance real soon Luv!!! These entities never be!I've that we're strong enough not to deal with them anymore and that we need them!?!?!?! Seriously!?! Too funny!! I may not know anyone,but I do know the struggle we go through day to day in and on our healing journey. Thanks for sharing Hon.May the Ancient Ones Bless and Protect you and yours always.👼👼👼

[@dulceoliveira3601]

Yes your doing good work! I ❤ your hair in this video

[@cutiepie0330]

i really needed this to see this video. just ended it w a narcissist. AGAIN. dangit. he keeps texting me after me telling him to leave me alone. he keeps reeling me in. part of me still loves him but fck. im more upset i still care on some level. i thought i was over him. him messaging me a lot now got my emotions rattled again.

[@Axess-sv8nq]

Nearly all the time, this applies to MALE Narcissists. Female Narcissist have a steady supply of desperate, thirsty, men (and sometimes women) due to the rise of social media. Before the internet, it was a bit different. But, now it's changed. You may get the odd female narc here and there who is a stalker. But, most of them disappear PERMANENTLY from your life after a hoover or two. If they see you don't play their petty game, then they walk away for good. And, believe me, it's a blessing when they do! You might get blamed for something a year or two down the road. But, they don't watch you and they don't try to hoover again.

[@Axess-sv8nq]

@DR Evil Hence why I said NEARLY. Social Media has greatly changed the dynamic between male and female. With the readily available supply of desperate 'men' who have no self-respect or dignity when it comes to pursuing women, female narcissists are in the driver's seat. If you want to believe otherwise, that's fine. It just doesn't measure up to reality. And that is ALL I have to say about it. The evidence speaks for itself.

[@Axess-sv8nq]

@DR Evil Don't try to gaslight me. I've had far too much experience with what you're attempting. Nearly doesn't mean ALL and you KNOW IT. Piss off. I'm done with you.

[@emmarae4322]

The males have a harmen of women (supply). Same thing.

[@blackrain88]

Thanks for your courage and bravery in making these videos!

[@mairibeckett]

Sound is great! Thanks for sharing.

[@debbiemirza1744]

You're so welcome Mairi! Thanks for your comment! xx

[@jeffcauthen6434]

Great sound. Thank you for being such a blessing to us!

[@simonecobb8903]

Hi Debbie, just coming here for the first time, my narc, and I have not had any present contact in two months. BUT, he invites me to do the things we use to do together, everyday !!! by text. I keep saying no, or I just leave an N, and he just continues asking every single day like everything is as it was. Driving me crazy, he just doesn't get it......xo Simone

[@lioydwilliams1850]

Simone Cobb, you are too precious to be with a narcissist!

[@MissaPality]

My ex husband is a covert narc. He is the only child of a massive covert narc mother so he learned behavior that would put other narcs to shame. I struggle to maintain a low contact as possible considering we co-parent. What I struggle with the most is he is still able to rattle me and just will not let me have peace for any length of time. He has this entire new life with a new supply, one who has completely taken over the role of his mother since his mother passed away 2 years ago. What I struggle with is his ability to make me feel as if I am doing something wrong. I just wish he would move on and let me be, but it's as if I somehow owe him or he is "allowing" me anything. Case in point, we each are allotted 2 weeks vacation, uninterrupted, with our daughter. Somehow when it was my time that entitled him to having her the following 2 weekends to make up for it. And the crazy part is, I fall for it. It was a 25 year marriage that I have only been free of for 2 years, but it seems as if I take one step forward and 2 steps back. And on top of all of it, I feel like I've done something wrong to him.

[@MAHAKALAXXXV]

anyone who is suffering form PTSD and any sort of trauma related to post narcissistic psycho emotional issues I am here to tell you that I can really help you. I have gone through a relationship with a covert narcissist which was very damaging and ended up learning a powerful therapy that can help you to heal and transform your wounds and release the covert narcissist . Any attachment , bitterness, regret, anger , hater, and even love toward a person who has damaged us feeds that person energy . So I can help you to heal the underlying causes because there is no coincidence why you met a narcisist as it has something to do with your childhood and your care takers at that time.

[@neprod5781]

It is really owful that they do not ever leave ous in peace. Sound is very good

[@emmanottingham6233]

Yes 8 years and he still tries. I give him the silent treatment as that's what he did to me for the 8 years we were together. I give him no acknowledgment. I found it funny but after 8 years I've blocked him on everything so now he can't get to me. So strange after all this time. He would try every 3 to 6 months.

[@tanoki24]

Enlightens vs. Narcissists! Let the reality battle begin!

[@thejackenglishproject3780]

What if you are married to one and have a 3 year old? I filed a civil restraining order after about 6 months of marriage. She loved bombed me for a few months and I let her back in and she got pregnant. When my son was 3 months old I had her arrested for beating the shit out of me when I was in my sleep for snoring. I dont believe in hitting a woman so I dont want to hear I should have done that. I then let her back in because it was so difficult having an infant and work etc.. i pay the bills, I cook her dinner, Im hands on with my son and all she does is complain and criticize. She is very passive aggressive even though she went through anger management. She uses her anger management as a weapon or a tool. I really dont know what to do it has taken a toll on me physically and emotionally. I came from a broken home and want the best for my son. I don't know what to do.

[@SusieN2011]

You're a good man and deserve to have real love and a peaceful life. Hope all is well

[@kiskakuznetsova503]

I'm surpised that they would be so blatant, although I totally believe you! I hope you have screenshotted the heck out of these and have reported and kept a record of everything.

[@danielaspitz3052]

There's one interesting thing though- my covert narc ex was obsessed with women who refused to be with him, ages ago. Even during our relationship he was still thinking about them, checking up their profiles and talking angrily about them. I was the only women who ever stayed with him, for two years, only because he was able to manipulate me. But when I finally split up, six months ago, he KNEW that he lost and that I'd never be fooled again.

[@holographicc6974]

They have Time and “energy” bc they’re all stalkers and freeloaders. Look at them as if they are insane and dangerous, and at best completely useless

[@forensicbadassprofiling]

Thank you for the validation bc it's an unnerving experience. 3 years out and about every 3 months I get a drive by or somehow a disgusting video comment from a sock puppet account w the same ip. PS ur sound works great and your book was extraordinary.

[@crowquilltarot9008]

I bought your book - and haven't read it yet. It's here somewhere. The day after it arrived, the Narc (my ex-husband) came to the door unexpectedly - and I QUICKLY hid the book...I didn't want him to see it. He would likely have bought himself a copy and used the information against me. I think I will dig it out and read it today. Wow! This is work; but not as exhausting as living with him...

[@debbiemirza1744]

Oh wow. I hope you find it Susan. One thing you could do is get the audio version of the book, that way it's on your phone and he won't know. And you can listen to it in the car when he's not around. An idea for you. Take care xx

[@mariamkinen8036]

My settings change continuously. Sometimes for the better , sometimes the other. Yes. Telling ourselves to calm down. Helps.

[@mgu1N1n1]

Best thing I've ever done in my adult life time was put a restraining order on my partner after years of abuse. it took me years to figure out what was going on and when I finally did like the cliche comment you'll hear from people she went berserk because I put together the true picture of her and her past. Her lies caught up with her and I refuse to endure the hell anymore. People if you're thinking that you need to leave get your game together then make your move and don't back down it's the best thing I ever did in my lifetime. And I'll add that I'm a guy three times her size and people thought I was the abuser but it happens to guys far far more often than we're willing to admit.

[@laurapaz1775]

I escaped 3 years ago, I dated a covert narcissist and he took all my money after he was done he moved on quickly and started living of a new girl. It’s been 2 years since we’ve split +1 year since No contact and he is now texting calling mailing I had to pretend I was out of the country because he would be outside of my house he desperately wants me back to buy time because I am scared of telling him no, I told him no you have a girlfriend and live with here and you haven’t pay me but it seems like He will never leave me alone, what does he want?! Scare me or me to hurt me again and win. How can I make him stop?

[@alysiahite12]

Unbelievable...Debbie. You can feel the iyckiness of it. Positive Self talk. Body telling you go for a walk. Love it😍. I am three years healing. How long for you?

[@bronyk7997]

I get hurt then I get really angry …I’ve had one interaction with the craziest narcissist ever….It first hurt me to my core then time passes & you realise how cray cray they are …I now just tolerate his bullshit and feel nothing but pity and disgust for him.. it was also long distance so that helped but I just don’t care… I think it took 6 months to realise I wasn’t playing with someone with the deck so I jus simply stopped reacting to good or bad things showed indifference that sent him crazy… Trust me the next person that shows one red flag I’m out I’m done….immediately

[@rafaloz17]

Thank you Debbie

[@jimzucker]

thx for the book :)

[@camilleharris3457]

Debbie- I just finished your book and I wanted to comment how wonderfully, eye opening it was. I had to put it down a couple of times the examples hit so close to home, i cried a few times. The chapter on sex was especially wonderful to read as i had the exact same experience! You read that narcissists are great in bed but mine was not at all, i ended our sexual relationship about a year before i told him i wanted a divorce it was causeing so much harm to myself. My body was just rejecting him in every way possible yet i persisted in the relationship for a long time. Looking back sex is a barometer for the health of your relationship, i wish i would of known that a long time ago. I have learned so much in the year and a half we have been divorced, i still have days where i think maybe i am the crazy one but they are getting fewer and farther in between. I have a question in regards to his new target, they were married 8 months after our divorce. I do not think he was cheating on me as i was an excellent source of supply and he did not want the marriage to end. I watched from social media while he loved bomb the new target and my heart just breaks for her. You said in another video it can take 15 years to realize what is going on and i know personally how hard it was to extract myself from this relationship, he did not let me go easily trust me. So now i have concerns for the new target, i know everyone says not to contact her as i will look like the crazy ex and i do understand that is not the best approach. However is their anything else i can do so she realizes what is going on sooner rather than later? This is none of my business in reality but i do feel for her as i know he will devalue her and hurt her like he did to me.

[@lioydwilliams1850]

Camille Harris, you deserve better

[@frfrongnocap5537]

Yeah, thank you for this video. Lol in my case I have changed 4 cities, quite a number of workplaces because of the narcissist, first people around thought I was crazy, now the real situation is clear to everyone around but still, the same old story, I do not care anymore but still feel those weak tries to disturb me, that is really mad.

[@eleanaparis7094]

Yes the behavior of what he’s doing is so so sick like he’s going out of his way watching me found out I’m dating a new man who’s amazing to me remind you I stayed single after the narc 4 years self healing self loving myself he rushed a relationship with another women had two kids with her already having 3 with me it’s so sick what he does to try to knock me and I can’t take him no more ...what he did to me was basically say to me I’m watching you and I see you I can’t deal with him trying to shake me up after I have healed my pains many pains it’s so annoyingly painful I just don’t want nothing from him ...

[@lisahutton3754]

Wow, you are still dealing with this. I'm so sorry. I know what that feels like. You are a champion! Thank you for sharing your personal stories, they do help the healing. Take care and stay safe. I love Boulder, I used to work at the hospital there.

[@mandydumesny4286]

i’m being stalked even after more than two years if breaking up due to his cruelty and abuse. now i find he has cameras in my bedroom and is uploading this to internet. ppl don’t believe me. he gets into my house when it suits him. cops aren’t interested. he’s destroying the house. he won’t go away. threatening my life. very entitled. very hostile. very afraid of me talking about his abuse and lies. he can do anything he wants. and he does. i’ll probably wind up dead and he’ll get away with it and he’ll go on with his life happily. one person believes me but she’s cancelled the work she was going to do at my place. she’s just cut ties. my best friend thinks i’m very “stressed”. i know what is happening i feel him in the house or even after he’s left i still feel his ugly intrusive energy. i should explain he lived a complete other life complete with days and days of escorts. “partying” with strippers. once i got past that i laughed because seriously!! are men stupid ?? “they love me” oh hahaha anyhow he filmed hundreds of hours of porn over many years. some in my mother’s unit out back of my house. i found it. he lost his mind. i found out so much. while i was working casual and part time nights weekends public holidays l. caring for elderly mum. cleaning washing cooking shopping bill paying being his person scape goat. victim of his ugly cruel gaslighting. i paid for everything. he still skimmed accounts and has many secret accounts. i’m going to get bent over during this settlement. my mum gave me 50k. that’s gone into the pot. the greedy bastard. i’m slowly building up to a major rage attack. now he’s admitted he’s had cameras hidden in the bedroom and says he’s going to have that in court. while i have lists of the “women” (i’m trying to remain somewhat polite!) he met and slept with. lists and ratings. it’s a game. he’s had hundreds and hundreds of these women. a couple were my friends. one he was screwing in my lounge while i was as in the shower. more than once. he’s a vile person and it all blew up as my mum was dying. he was still lying to me. then he carried on. HE was the bereaved one. he stole his gullible family i did the things he did. he said i even hit my mum and stole from ppl at work. oh my god. i wouldn’t ever. i was in that family 27 years. they turned their backs on me , his mother got in my face and screamed and belittled me. i’d just lost my last relative who was my best friend, the only friend he’d really allow. i’d also found out the man i thought loved me was a narcissist and a compulsive liar and he walked out and left me suicidal. my two little old dogs are why i kept going. they need me. so now he’s coming down hard. he’s a nasty thing with no conscience. the rest of the world believe him to be jesus in blue jeans. he’s a sexual pervert. a voyeur. a real dirty creeper. but i’m the one that’s “stressed and over thinking it” i’m actually ready to blow a fuse and find him and turn the coward inside out. then i am going to look like mental case

[@dharmadharma3960]

Rattle is the perfect word

[@michelleparker3544]

Moving forward. I won’t reach out again. Thank you, I understand your concern. Not the right time to run up that hill going the hard way. Things changed. Just shocked.

[@Lucypetuniaggm]

For those concerned that Debbie has revealed too much about her location, there’s this. Sadly, with technology & other resources today it’s not difficult to locate a person. Years ago, before internet enabled these people, I was having a similar problem, so bought a book about how to disappear. It offered a few methods - admittedly not completely effective - but said the best way is to change your name, get a new SSN, etc. I think that’s still the best way...especially given internet resources currently available, but I’d only consider that if I feared for my life. And even that’s not foolproof if the stalker can afford to hire a good private investigator. My problem ended years ago thank God, but only after he broke into my house in the middle of the night & turned the gas on with the intention of killing us both, THEN attacked the police with a hatchet when trying to escape. He was shot 7 times, spent a long stretch in the hospital on the taxpayers’ dime. He then served 9 years in prison, and thankfully I’ve heard nothing from him since his release. He apparently “found Jesus” while in prison. Once released he joined a church & went into prison ministry. BTW, pretty much everything he ever did was done for public consumption. He’s very charismatic which is a real plus when trying to manipulate people... which he did frequently with me. He would jump at the chance to help someone, then talk about it endlessly to anyone who’d listen. He’s apparently still manipulating people, which confirmed my suspicions about his sincerity. Here’s how I know that. One day my friends & I were recalling the incident that put him in prison, & wondering what he’d been doing since his release. We Googled his name, & came across an interview he gave to a Christian radio program about what he’d been through. At first I told my friends, “Is it possible he’s changed?” About 5 minutes into the interview I realized that he hadn’t. He began to lie. First he lied about prior run-ins with the law. There had been several. He said there’d been none. Then he lied about why the police were called & why he was shot. He said nothing about breaking into my house or turning on the gas. The interviewer, a woman (his charm & manipulation techniques work best on women) was fawning all over him, constantly interrupting him with things like “Oh my God. How awful for you,”. Or “I can only imagine how difficult this has been for you.” When they ran out of time she begged him to return to tell more. After a long dramatic pause he said, “I will return.” 🤢 I also learned he’d remarried, and my friends said I needed to contact his wife & warn her. I told them that was NUTS! The last thing I ever wanted was to give him a way to reenter my life. So, that’s where I left it. I do see he’s continuing his prison ministry. It’s a perfect fit for his narcissism to shine... “see what wonderful things I’m doing for others!” I have no doubt he’s embellished his story (lied) for impact. I’d love to hear the story he tells, but only if someone else tells it, or I read it. The sound of his voice, even the mention of his name, makes my skin crawl! The only good thing that might come of this is that some inmate who hears “his story,” lies & all, may be genuinely moved to a life change. Of course, if that happens I’m sure this creep will tell anyone who’ll listen him about his role in the change. In fact, I’m sure he’s keeping a list of those he believes he’s saved. So, stand by for the book, the movie based on the book, & the public interviews to follow. YECCCH! One last thing. He was soooo proficient at manipulation he even managed to fool the psychiatrist who assessed him. That doctor found him to have been temporarily insane during the event. I disagreed...strongly! Once he heard my side of the story (i.e. the truth), he interviewed him for a second time. He called & told me I was right...even showed some amazement at the success of his manipulation techniques. And the Oscar goes to......... Sorry so long..........