The Constant Push/Pull of Their Affection Grinds You Down

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Күн бұрын

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@alfombraspersasyorientaleslior 6 ай бұрын

I will never be able to find the right words that show how grateful I am to you. I found your channel around two years ago and it changed my life: suddenly many of the questions I have had my all life found an answer in your channel and besides that,I started feeling less alone while knowing there are many of us. You also showed me that healing is possible and how to do it. Thank you so much indeed.

@CrappyChildhoodFairy 6 ай бұрын

Wow, thank you so much for sharing this! I'm so happy to hear that the channel has been helpful. I'm sure this will make Anna's day :) -Calista@TeamFairy

@deansongs 5 ай бұрын

Love that comment! Gratitude is next to best and expressing it is the best

@anamarieph8597 5 ай бұрын

@@CrappyChildhoodFairyjust found your channel too. Too late for me though, done with all the bad **it, now I'm alone and healing.

@FaintAura 6 ай бұрын

The avoidants always seem to know the right time to pull you back in after pushing you away. Repeat cycle over and over again.

@Analysis_Paralysis 6 ай бұрын

True. It's all about keeping you around for convenience.

@Analysis_Paralysis 5 ай бұрын

@TheyCallMeBabo This is abuse apologia, the letter writer is clearly trauma-bonded as a result of the intermittent reinforcement she experienced in this relationship. Don't know who you're trying to attack in this crude way, but I don't have "ex-partners". I had only one relationship and he wasn't an avoidant.

@Analysis_Paralysis 5 ай бұрын

@TheyCallMeBabo Wow, I feel truly sorry for you for feeling the need to be so aggressive and malicious to random strangers online. And I'm neither going to respond to your projections, nor explain to you the concept of educating oneself on relationship matters. It seems foreign to you. I follow Anna, of course, I'll be be educated in the patterns of people with a dismissive-avoidant attachment style. If you'd project less and work more on your avoidant issues, you wouldn't be attacking random strangers online. Btw, every human being has an attachment style, not just your romantic partners. Stop acting like people experience matters that relate to human relationships only in romantic scenarios. And keep your toxic projections to yourself. Muted. Bye.

@natibelfortunato6879 5 ай бұрын

@@Analysis_Paralysisomg yes

@natibelfortunato6879 5 ай бұрын

@TheyCallMeBabodisagree. abusers prey on people. doesn’t mean they always succeed. you can attract anyone but not choose to entertain. when you have a positive energy, everyone and anyone wants that. either to build up or destroy. we get to decide. and sometimes we make bad choices. doesn’t mean we are a vibrational match. that’s why the relationship doesn’t always last. and if it does, it’s a terrible one. a terrible, debilitating, harmful relationship doesn’t mean a vibrational match. it’s a choice regardless.

@SurvivingOutHere 6 ай бұрын

I'm severely avoidant and stayed away from dating for the last several years. But I met a really, really wonderful guy who had so many qualities I was looking for. I decided to take the risk and it's been 4 months. It still scares me but I fucking shaped up and continue to work on my issues because I don't want to hurt him or damage the relationship. My boyfriend has enough trauma for three whole humans but that has never stopped him from treating me with care and attention, constantly showing me that he cares and also being a kind person to people in general. My point is, if someone wants to change, they will. There will be no promises of change, there will be actions and commitment.

@stevealexander2649 5 ай бұрын

great to hear that, and i believe avoidants want loving and belonging but find it scarey to trust and be themselves, you have proven its possible

@GabrielleP310 5 ай бұрын

I believe that people don’t truly change, especially their behaviors. While they might change in other ways, such as their appearance or personality, their core behaviors often remain the same. Many people live in repetition compulsion. Their attachment styles are determined by caregivers who demonstrated abandonment or various forms of neglect. If you are catering to the other person’s attachment style, it is doomed. I think the ultimate goal for people in relationships is to reach secure love, communication, and attachment. This all takes a lot of constant work from both parties, including healing, self-awareness, real behavioral changes, and taking accountability and responsibility.

@limolnar 5 ай бұрын

Looking forward to getting there myself.

@darlingly3130 5 ай бұрын

@survivingOutHere What is different in him that you like? That made you stay and want to keep on going with him? Interested to know!

@SurvivingOutHere 5 ай бұрын

@darlingly3130 so I got to know him as a friend before I became romantically interested which gave me much more security pursuing a relationship with him. I would say the top qualities that made me attracted to him is that he is very kind to me and others (not a nice guy, a kind man), he makes sure people feel included in group social situations (asking quiet people questions so they feel comfortable), he's been through a lot of really terrible life events but doesn't feel bad for himself and constantly looks for ways to be thankful for his life, he's involved in charity work but doesn't tell anybody or post about it, one day early in our friendship he made me laugh so hard I cried and since then he's always trying to make me laugh, he makes less money than me but still always pays for everything (he allows me to treat him once in awhile, but believes its his responsibility to pay), he lives about 30 minutes from me but when we hung out as friends and for the first 2 months of dating he always drove to me and if we went somewhere he always drove me home even if it was way out of the way for him and I could easily use public transportation, he's also very patient with me and is allowing the relationship to go at the speed in which I'm comfortable and never pushed my physical boundaries, if I tell him something he did bothered me he will apologize and remember it bothered me, has a strong set of values but will always listen to new perspectives and is open to learning. These are just a few of things that made me decide it was worth taking a risk :)

@oOOoOphidian 6 ай бұрын

I love your genuine reactions to the bizarre things that dating partners say and the red flags that are super apparent to you but hard for people who write in to accept. Everyone needs a friend who can tell them that their partner is full of shit.

@halcyondays8945 5 ай бұрын

Yes. It’s very helpful for us to have a model of what a healed, healthy secure response looks like!

@GabrielleP310 5 ай бұрын

Real friends talk sense into you. Fake ones agree with your every move.

@Reteprab369 5 ай бұрын

It’s been said that you attract what you put out into the world. Neediness quickly pushes most people away, but it is also a lure for the avoidant to entrap you. Learning that we all have personal responsibility in our relationships is key. It can be a painful lesson to learn.

@CrappyChildhoodFairy 5 ай бұрын

Thank you for sharing your insight with us. Nika@TeamFairy

@stephanied9629 4 ай бұрын

Lol, I don’t agree with that at all. There are masses of kind souls that don’t put out anything but kindness, empathy, compassion for others in the world, and get the exact opposite in return.

@akferren1 5 ай бұрын

If a man says I need a few days to think about having a relationship he’s a creep, run away!!!

@damalewis9277 5 ай бұрын

Even when they do love you and give you a commitment, they still leave.

@wizardofaus2985 4 ай бұрын

Yip. Married to one for 6 years now..spent more time apart than together.

@fdaguerre2251 6 ай бұрын

This is so, so well done. I couldn't watch something like this until I moved on (which i did because i went back to school and am opening my mind). I would *not* have watched this when I was in the middle of an on-again off-again relationship with an avoidant man who would go no contact with zero warning- it would've hurt my hope!! Yikes, was I in denial.

@OtakittyRomy 5 ай бұрын

your comment gives me hope. I'm struggling leaving a relationship where they have gone no contact with zero warning multiple times, but I keep hoping they can get better...

@fdaguerre2251 5 ай бұрын

@@OtakittyRomy You made it here. Something tells me you can do this :).

@LauraDeVasconcelos 6 ай бұрын

10 years ago I was 10 months with an avoidant, thank God I left, it was horror, it's a trap!

@nevadatan7323 5 ай бұрын

It can be a very lonely and frustrating place to be in when you're with an avoidant partner.

@grizzlyrascal 6 ай бұрын

Avoidants are people too. But until they get their own healing that comes from an intrinsic place, they are incapable of being the good partner you deserve. They may be a great person, but if they are unhealed, they haven't developed the skillset for relationships, and wouldn't make a good partner until they do so for their own reasons.

@SonjaBlade608 5 ай бұрын

💯

@tinac6114 5 ай бұрын

After 2 yrs I finally finally went complete NC with the man I've loved for over 15 yrs who kept push/pulling me for the last 2. I never thought about him being close to me only to have him push me away & block me weeks & mnths as him trying to decide if he wanted me. This last time we were intimate & he promised he wouldn't run. As soon as I got home I started trying to text him & he wouldn't reply. I knew I had been pushed away again. I tried for a month to get him to reply to my messages & then he blocked me on FB & that was IT for me! I blocked him back & on everything & I'm just moving on! The emotional abuse for the last 2 yrs has taken its toll on me. He did tell me many times after a yr he loved me but I don't think he even knows what love is. I will always love him but there comes a time you have to love yourself more.

@TopSecretInformations 5 ай бұрын

I sincerely hope you stand your ground.🩵

@Wendyiss 6 ай бұрын

it's insane the synchronicity of this video with the things I was struggling lately....

@CrappyChildhoodFairy 6 ай бұрын

I'm so glad you're here :) -Calista@TeamFairy

@anamarieph8597 5 ай бұрын

It all happened to me, several relationships, the same. Now I'm alone at 58

@changingwoman1494 6 ай бұрын

This hits way too close to home. Thank you for this valuable content

@confessionsofanavoidant 6 ай бұрын

Avoidance is on a spectrum, just like anxious attachment... of mild, moderate, severe. ...Everything in life really is a spectrum. Plenty of avoidant people, who aren't on the severe end of the spectrum, just like anxious people not on the severe end, have fulfilling relationships like any other evolving human being. The internet though is so skewed towards stereotyping avoidance towards this more severe trope of it, when not all avoidants are in a push/pull pattern. Just saying Also an "avoidant" who "pulls and pushes" probably has anxious patterns as well, but of course they will only be labeled "avoidant."

@bbv5490 6 ай бұрын

Yeah, I honestly don't get why people are crapping on avoidants, and only avoidants. I have had bad experiences with extreme dismissive avoidants, but I've also had bad experiences with extreme anxiously-attached people. A lot of them would talk only about themselves in conversations, override your boundaries, and are overall draining. You give them an inch, and they take a mile. I stay away from them. And don't get me started on hot-cold disorganized people who can't seem to live without drama. Former disorganized here btw who is earned secure.

@Lexi_Con 6 ай бұрын

Your point is valid & you must be very self aware, so props for that. I think almost everyone has some type of skill/trait they're working on or want to change, and many aren't aware of or understand themselves, much less their partners. With that said, the purpose of these vids (imho) is not necessarily to label people bad or good but to educate a general audience - in order to provide insight & teach how to better cope w/ common issues or scenarios unique to particular behaviors or personalities. The easiest way to describe them is w/ terms backed by psych research studies/diagnoses. You are correct that everyone has a unique set of characteristics & will vary in intensity, even w/ further breakdown of subtypes (info available across YT & elsewhere). Categories or labels help narrow down patterns of behavior for identification & thus provide easier access to info. What we learn can help us grow, appreciate, & often cope better... hopefully without stereotypes & misuse of "trendy" words.❤

@Lexi_Con 6 ай бұрын

*Keep in mind that comments tend to be from people experiencing the stress & grief of rejection, false hope, confusion, and other emotions caused by relationships involving mixed messages & often untruths... So many will seem harsh from that perspective. Hope this helps.

@kbc1883 5 ай бұрын

It seems, from what I've experienced, witnessed, read about, and seen in the comments of videos like this, that the hurt caused by avoidants on the more severe end is more cruel/deeper/more traumatic to the other person than the hurt caused to the avoidant by the anxiously attached partner. The anxious partner is often aware of their issues and willing to work on it, but often the avoidant partner is not willing to do the work. So, while both attachment styles are maladaptive and harmful to their partners, avoidants don't seem to walk away as traumatized as their anxious partners do.

@natibelfortunato6879 5 ай бұрын

@@kbc1883i like how you expressed this.

@ViagensGringa 6 ай бұрын

I love your reactions while reading, makes it so clear!

@Lexi_Con 6 ай бұрын

❤🎯💯Great video! I've learned about avoidant types the past 2 months & it has helped me deal w/ the end of a long term relationship. Confirmed it's not just me, and more importantly, that I'm better off moving on bc the cycle will repeat itself forever, setting me up for heartbreak & blocking the path to a healthy relationship w/ someone else. 50+ club & never married... Definitely not to my ex of the past 3-6 years. No more breadcrumbs, I deserve the whole cake!😊🎂

@stacyeleanza4917 6 ай бұрын

Do you know about the book called "Facing Love Addiction"* ? It spells the whole thing out. (Love addict & avoidant as 2 sides of the same coin.) it was shocking to me when I first read it 12 years ago, , , and also transformational. *(by Pia Mellody) It, along with SLAA (12-Step program), healed me to the core! The last sentence of yr comment describes the whole thing in a nutshell! (which is why I asked...)

@CrappyChildhoodFairy 6 ай бұрын

Thanks for sharing this! You certainly do deserve the whole cake and we're all rooting for you :) -Calista@TeamFairy

@burninghair 6 ай бұрын

This was great information and perfect timing.

@CrappyChildhoodFairy 6 ай бұрын

I'm so glad the video was helpful! -Calista@TeamFairy

@letseat4648 6 ай бұрын

Great topic and I love this joyful dress on you!

@A.l.a.c. 5 ай бұрын

Ppl use to say we should watch men's actions and not their words... but I think we should watch their actions and words. Words are very important! Including the words we say ourselves like: "I can't love anyone the way I love him" etc, that's a lie you tell yourself to not face the pain, he is not good for you and there is nothing special about it. The "specielness" is made by the things we chose to do and say to our beloved everyday, if he is not doing it... you gonna find someone else willing to make things special and unique with you.

@SeventhQuark 5 ай бұрын

I found this video at just the right moment. Thank you.

@TheLove1Makes 6 ай бұрын

Good topic good lesson thanks.

@CrappyChildhoodFairy 6 ай бұрын

Thanks for watching and taking the time to comment! -Calista@TeamFairy

@micheleele7299 5 ай бұрын

Curious about the difference between an avoidant & a narcissist because they sound the same. When I was in the dating pool before meeting my husband there were no terms for any of this….if me & my friends came across a guy like this…we would chalk it up as “he just likes playing games, thrill of the chase & wanting the thrill of the next catch, a “Player”…now it seems to me that the psychological terms allow women to have sympathy for guys like this & try to change them.

@robertbenedek4463 5 ай бұрын

Extremely useful points, well put Ana, thank you again!

@CrappyChildhoodFairy 5 ай бұрын

I'm so glad the video was helpful! -Calista@TeamFairy

@streetangelco 6 ай бұрын

I wish ppl realized that avoidant ppl have wounds and hurts too and that’s why they are like that. I am avoidant and it is scary. But I feel like anxious attachment has a more positive or safer connotation while avoidant has always a negative connotation. I wish there were more videos on how to heal avoidant attachment

@robertdeskoski9783 5 ай бұрын

Anxious people try to change, frequently. Avoidantly attached people have shame wounds that often prevent them from changing.

@natibelfortunato6879 5 ай бұрын

@@robertdeskoski9783this is what i was going to say. thank you! and partners of avoidants end up so drained, abused, and broken. where as you don’t hear that much from the partners of anxious. anxious are willing to move heaven and earth to make something work. whereas avoidants…behave differently and typically shut down or act out or disconnect. that’s much more damaging for a partner.

@robertdeskoski9783 5 ай бұрын

@@natibelfortunato6879: Yep. If you don't want to be in a relationship, don't be in one. But don't drag your problems into something and tie them like a leqd weight around the ankles of your loves ones.

@jazz_savedbygrace_6077 5 ай бұрын

@@natibelfortunato6879it seems like you have a bias towards avoidant attachment people. All insecure attachments cause harm, not just the avoidant attachment. If you believe one causes more harm over the other..that’s a problem

@natibelfortunato6879 5 ай бұрын

@@jazz_savedbygrace_6077 you didn’t seem to read any other comments lol. i’ll let you do that before you mention anything about me.

@sergicrisan5564 5 ай бұрын

I learnt recently that I'm an avoidant. I effed up a 7 year relationship and a year after breaking up I still feel horrible. I'm working on it never happening again.

@CrappyChildhoodFairy 5 ай бұрын

We're here to support you! Nika@TeamFairy

@ZeldaZelda-RichesToRags 6 ай бұрын

Oh I love this

@georgiabundick 6 ай бұрын

literally i got a notification and was like “realest title ever”

@meagandekkar6377 5 ай бұрын

“Can we do no labels?” WTF? I left an avoidant after 2 years of utter BS. Oh the games that they play! They are the center of their universe and u r just an accessory that they use when they want sex, money, or favors. Just run!

@amberinthemist7912 5 ай бұрын

Avoidant is just the new name for covert narc. Just avoid them all together, no matter what poor sob story they give you about why they can't be normal humans. It's not an accident, it's emotional abuse. You probably have some of your cptsd because of an "Avoidant ".

@phoebewhite2233 5 ай бұрын

I’m in a similar situation but I like the good stuff I get out of it… or I’d rather not go without…but the bad stuff is bad

@RoadRunnergarage8570 6 ай бұрын

She might herself do better with a hobby rather than a relationship... It helps me...

@SimplyaLady92 6 ай бұрын

It's ok to want an intimate relationship 😂

@em97c 6 ай бұрын

When you're on the right path to healing you can have both, if you want to!

@PinkWytchBytch 6 ай бұрын

My husband is severely avoidant and I’m literally at the end of my rope. There’s a lot of similarities in this story and my own. I’m in that spot where I’m not sure if I want to live my entire life this way, but am scared than if I end it, things would’ve gotten better. How could any woman feel ok to stay with someone who can go from bare-minimum of decent, all the way to “I’ve never been happy with you” and I do t want to die alone so I’m stuck in a hesitant cycle of knowing he doesn’t properly love me but I don’t feel I have any chance of finding a true soul mate

@dogscott7881 6 ай бұрын

It hurts my heart to hear that, it sounds really painful. I hope you can find the answers and comfort you seek. Please do what makes you happy and feel at peace, whatever it may be.

@stacyeleanza4917 6 ай бұрын

Having done some serious healing as a result of a relationship with an avoidant person, I can say that there are other joys in life equal to, or better than, finding a "true soul mate". My journey of finding my SELF, and sharing that true self authentically, has given me true, deep joy, that I am able to spread around to other people... It's a veritable love fest! (Not saying that it's like that all the time, but enough so that finding a true soul mate is not at all a concern... It would be more like the cherry on top of an already rich and purposeful life.) I say this to offer you some hope that you can have a rich, full life, if you so choose, whether or not you have a mate. I wish you the best! & the courage and strength to make the best decision(s) for *your* true self. 🌷

@ireefree2024 6 ай бұрын

I feel so sorry for you. I don't know how old you are but to be honest and real. Aren't you alone already? I was only in a relationship with an avoidant and it really destroyed me back them. Lot's of health issues came up and depression was the worst. It was like an addiction. Today I'm 39 and since 5 years in a healthy relationship and marriage since 3 years. My health is great, no depression, nothing. And the most important thing, I feel peace and can be totally me. No thinking of to be the "perfect" partner anymore to keep somebody. My husband loves me no matter what and helped me through depression. Honestly he met me when I was almost on the ground, today I'm finally healthy. Was it easy? oh no, but I won't go back to this Rollercoaster anymore. And even if one day my relationship would be over, I won't do the same mistakes anymore. I know my worth and have boundaries.

@adrianareyes9286 5 ай бұрын

@@ireefree2024Thank you for this comment. It’s opened my eyes to my never ending heartbreak with my avoidant husband .

@ireefree2024 5 ай бұрын

@@adrianareyes9286 I truly wish you all the best ❤️

@Jeb9221 5 ай бұрын

He sounds like a fearful avoidant.

@deansongs 6 ай бұрын

This is as is your usual work lovely. If you would ever like to take me on as a client and charge me an hourly rate for in person or video conferencing, I would love that. You're amazing and I just really appreciate how you got to this point in your own life.

@CrappyChildhoodFairy 6 ай бұрын

If you're interested, you can check out our individual coaching options here: courses.crappychildhoodfairy.com/coaching :) -Calista@TeamFairy

@deansongs 5 ай бұрын

@@CrappyChildhoodFairy Will do !! And not that mine will be picked, but I cannot imagine why I haven't written a letter before because I absolutely love love love love love love love love the way the letters. So much deep thought and consideration and it's also really cool how a lot of times the letters are written from one person's perspective, but you have a perspective on how we let her writers are missing something which is even more valuable in your response than the empathy!

@deansongs 5 ай бұрын

It's funny because even if you don't get a chance to read it, I so look forward to writing that letter! I have written several books but a short letter just on that subject would be a wonderful thing and I never knew that until I see how you decompose those letters. No, that's not the right d word but I wanted to get it out there

@anamarieph8597 5 ай бұрын

I'm out of all that sh*t, at 58 I avoid feeling the victim.

@eandsm4620 5 ай бұрын

I don't know what I have been doing . . . where was this channel 50 years ago?

@CrappyChildhoodFairy 5 ай бұрын

I'm so glad you're here now :) -Calista@TeamFairy

@eandsm4620 5 ай бұрын

@@CrappyChildhoodFairy Me, too! I had an above average dysfunctional childhood!!!

@gal1l1l-f7c 6 ай бұрын

Unrelated but I love your shirt/dress

@MSG66 5 ай бұрын

I'm stunned he could even live with her; my avoidant person could not even have someone sleep over (we met in our early twenties, apparently I was the only one who did that, no one since and this is 30 years later.) Even as friends, he loved to talk for hours on the phone but never wanted to meet up. It's very sad, he could not get close to anyone.

@nevadatan7323 5 ай бұрын

Imo theres a definite difference between being avoidant and being a playa. Im somewhat avoidant, but it doesn't make me malicious. Im genuinely interested in others. It just makes me incredibly uncomfortable to allow people to get too close to me, what is normal for other people feels overwhelming and suffocating for me. My default mode is just my own company any im pretty good with that. That feels restful to me. Having other people invade my space, or my time is stressful. That said i can communicate what my needs are, and i can love people with my entire heart [providing they stay an arms distance away 😅] I think thats a world apart from dudes who use emotional ambiguities to get what they want minus any investment. I just really cant express how much i wish ppl were protective over their own valuable time and energy like i am instead of giving it all away to guys who havent yet proved deserving if it. You're worth way more than that. Stay cool ladies 😎

@RoadRunnergarage8570 6 ай бұрын

Why I avoid relationships... Too confusing for my Traumatic Brain Injury-( TBI ) brain..

@RoadRunnergarage8570 6 ай бұрын

He sounds like a vampire to me too...

@Analysis_Paralysis 6 ай бұрын

I feel like, in a half-love for an avoidant like him cuddling and taking care of her when she's ill is like a calculated move, it's sort of manipulative. Women shouldn't settle for the bare minimum. She deserves a love that's not half-love.

@dayofmylife7289 5 ай бұрын

you are the best

@jodi-bethfelton3696 5 ай бұрын

Thank-you ❤

@CrappyChildhoodFairy 5 ай бұрын

Thank you for being a part of our community :) -Calista@TeamFairy

@chez5860 5 ай бұрын

I’m such an avoidant and don’t want to be. But I can’t seem to stop.

@jessicajackson1200 5 ай бұрын

Then you should stop dating until youve done some serious work with a therapist. Or at least let the people you date up front know its going to be casual and that you are not capable of a real, healthy relationship. That way you avoid hurting people who dont deserve it.

@chez5860 5 ай бұрын

I agree. I find liberation from such attachments to be the only way to true happiness. To join another and expect them to get rid of free will, because let’s face it, that’s what a relationship is, I find to be a bad and unsafe plan.

@iconoclastic-fantastic 6 ай бұрын

The timing of this is just impeccable bc this situationship with this avoidant man is NOT it... it's getting so fucking old. And it sucks. By now we should have been "official" like 6 months ago or so bc we met in October and it was immediately apparent how much chemistry we had & how we complemented each other well. I'm over it

@GabrielleP310 5 ай бұрын

Chemistry doesn’t always equate to compatibility. It can also mean poor boundaries/abusive (emotional or psychological) tendencies. For me, I consider it a red flag.

@nannyboo9832 5 ай бұрын

My situationship became “official” after a year or so but let me tell you… the needle does not move much. You will constantly feel like you’re waiting for the other shoe to drop. I still have anxiety every day. It fucking sucks.

@GeeseForGosling 5 ай бұрын

Scarily on the money.

@Syllacrostics 6 ай бұрын

Woah new mic! Haha it freaked me out for a sec, like you’d hired someone to dub your video.

@JustBE_U 5 ай бұрын

I am in so much pain because of this treatment from someone.

@CrappyChildhoodFairy 5 ай бұрын

We're all sending you our support :) -Calista@TeamFairy

@JustBE_U 5 ай бұрын

@@CrappyChildhoodFairy please. THANK YOUUUUUUU SO MUCH!!

@giri.goyo_yt 5 ай бұрын

I'm a painter and a gamer. That said, he was playing games while she was painting a fantasy scene. I've done both. More of the latter though. Ugh. 😢

@cathystephens7631 5 ай бұрын

Omg, Taren’s ex is like a carbon copy of mine.

@KidLeo8869 5 ай бұрын

I just recently started listening to your podcasts and love them. Love and dislike them. More like because I'm gaining insight into myself, my attachment disorder , and how and why I struggle to develop intimate relationships. I I'm 53. Grew up in avhome with an abusive alcoholic father, mother who was emotionally unavailable, got married to high school sweetheart, was together for 18 years, developed my own alcohol and drug problems and wife left me. Im 12 years sober thru AA and im unable to develop an intimate relationship. I would like to get some help. How can I write a letter about my situation to be read on your show? Thanks

@CrappyChildhoodFairy 5 ай бұрын

Anna isn't able to read every letter she receives on her channel, but we would love to hear from you! You can write in here: bit.ly/CCF_Letters -Calista@TeamFairy

@DKMRFCBrlz 6 ай бұрын

100% identified

@Doodlefisher 6 ай бұрын

9:59 good points

@thesecretshade 5 ай бұрын

Is this really avoidant because i would have said he's emotionally unavailable. Either way, he's wasting her time.

@puabi666 5 ай бұрын

Pple talk abt love as it is the only n only plight in the world.

@winnielim80 4 ай бұрын

Hi, I was wondering if you could tell me which video talks about a woman who dated a man in the army for 4-5 years. Although he eventually asked her to move in and put her name on the lease, he refused to accept her child. I watched that last week but couldn’t find it again. Thank you.

@CrappyChildhoodFairy 4 ай бұрын

You can put the term of the subject of the video in the channel search bar to find it. You can also check your KZbin history to see what videos you watched last week. Nika@TeamFairy

@peaceindarkness.darknessis3494 5 ай бұрын

I would like to send you a letter…. Where may I send it please?

@CrappyChildhoodFairy 5 ай бұрын

You can write an "Ask the Fairy" letter from here: bit.ly/CCF_Letters Nika@TeamFairy

@jeanieshank1433 6 ай бұрын

I think I am avoidant. What do I do?

@CrappyChildhoodFairy 6 ай бұрын

If you haven't already, you may want to try Anna's free course ‘The Daily Practice’. It is the technique that led to Anna’s own healing, and she uses it to this day. Here’s a link if you’re interested: bit.ly/CCF_DailyPractice -Calista@TeamFairy

@micahwelner 6 ай бұрын

thank you I needed this right when you posted it

@CrappyChildhoodFairy 6 ай бұрын

We're all sending you encouragement :) -Calista@TeamFairy

@rturney6376 4 ай бұрын

❤❤❤

@JSath 3 ай бұрын

Wait this man gives me 3 weeks of undivided attention and 3+ months of push and pull! He gives stupid reasons for that! LDR and he goes missing half the way of having sex chats! He goes missing for long but you can find him on a social platform which is almost his home! I just talked with his ex and she told me his traumatic childhood n badly ended first love made him with avoidant attachment! She left him and he left her too! Now I'm stuck with him.. I don't want to move on, I want to be his home, what do i do?

@CrappyChildhoodFairy 3 ай бұрын

If you'd like to submit a letter for Anna to respond to on KZbin, you can submit it here: bit.ly/CCF_Letters Nika@TeamFairy