r/TrueOffMyChest - Married to a "Mommy Vlogger"

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#reddit #theclick #subreddit

[@TheClick]

Slightly different video than usual, let me know what you think!

[@gigachad4291]

Tbh, i waited for this subreddit, so thank u!

[@HeatDeathDestiny]

My interest is piqued man, love your stuff

[@vidachsa]

Jag har inte sett den ännu men jag är säker på att den är bra

[@aristocraticrat]

Still top quality and wonderful as normal!!!

[@vidachsa]

Damn 1 sec before me

[@1tiptip187]

I've read a marriage councilor post that said one of the most shocking marriage saving advice can be sleeping in separate beds or even separate rooms. Be it snoring, tossing and turning, one person sleeps better with a pet or sound machine, or literally any issue with sleeping. Basically people are happier when they get a full night sleep. So separate sleeping areas isn't a sign of a bad marriage, it's just a sign you accept your spouses comfort while sleeping.

[@korab.23]

One of the sweetest grandparent couples I've ever met slept separately.

[@Niccy26]

My husband and I have our own room. I snore and he needs everything to be silent. Also it helps when our daughter wakes up in the middle of the night. We each have the opportunity to have a full night's sleep

[@i_am_bisexual_or_something3132]

My parents sleep in different beds during the summer

[@darienb1127]

One thing I remember my Home Ed teacher in Middle School saying is to take two beds and push them together. That way you won't distrub the other person when you got to get up. But this also means you can pull apart the beds when you need to sleep separately.

[@craigstephenson7676]

@@darienb1127that’s so smart

[@heather9130]

I have a 1 year old son. That "son forcing himself" story was such a slap in the face cause I can't imagine being faced with that. I can't believe she's making excuses for him. I can't believe "he was drunk" is something people still try to say to excuse disgusting behavior. His mother's reaction makes me feel like I can see where his entitlement comes from.

[@fdm2155]

I remember my mother explaining to my then teen aged brothers that if any girl turned up with their crumb snatcher she would make damn sure they supported that kid. I can't imagine what she would have done if one of my brothers did something this gross. Probably would have been immediately reporting them to the cops!

[@carolyingfa]

I hope the dad does the right thing. He seems like a good man.

[@cftyftyufyfuyfty]

Unconditional love is when your mother tells you she will love you regardless of your choices but when you fail school you can't live with her anymore. Whatever this is is dependency.

[@sevans8784]

Maybe she refuses to accept that her son did something horrible because it would reflect on her, or at least feel like it. As in "what kind of mother would teach her kid that it's okay to do that?" If she doubles down and says he did nothing wrong, she can tell herself she's still the perfect mother. If I could talk to her, I'd say that she did her best to instill good values in her son (certainly the dad did, based on his genuine reaction to what happened), but at the end of the day, your offspring are people and they will make mistakes that you are not accountable for. The best thing she could do as a mother right now is to continue to teach her child, help him understand the weight of what he's done, and encourage him to become a better person. Give him support as he tries to make amends (obviously something like this isn't something you can "fix," but the absolute LEAST he could do is offer a sincere apology and then leave the woman alone so she can heal and move on with her life). Disclaimer: I have no children and (thankfully) I haven't experienced the kind of pain he's inflicted, so idk what the "most right" thing to do would be

[@RevokFarthis]

@@carolyingfa As of 10 monts ago (the last update to the story), the extent of OP being a "good man" was just *hoping* that his son would be held acountable for his actions, while not actually doing anything about it.

[@ivorynk752]

That one where the French/Italian chef started using cheaper ingredients rather than the authentic ones because people liked it better made me remember something I was once told. A large part of our taste preferences are shaped by what we are used to, so a lot of people might not like the fancy authentic stuff because they don't usually eat it.

[@darienb1127]

That makes a lot of sense. It's also why someone who's grown up with a lot of spicy food wouldn't find it so bothersome. Me personally I gravitate towards comfort food that you can make a lot of (spaghetti, shepard's pie, stuff with white rice) due to not having a lot of money growing up.

[@Janjones7735]

It should also show the chef that there really isn’t much difference in ingredients beyond snobbery. They say this happens a lot with wine. People pretend they know what a good wine is (especially wine experts) if they’re told it is good.

[@MiraBoo]

Yeah, a lot of great chefs know how to substitute “expensive” ingredients with cheaper alternatives and get a comparable flavor. Usually the quality of the ingredients aren’t even different; the primary difference comes from the amount of prep work you can now skip.

[@Zulf85]

Also, ngl but I don't see a problem - they're making the food exactly how the family likes it and they're really enjoying it - I'd call it a job well done

[@xikitagatita]

Makes sense, how he substituted a lot of his authentic ingredients for more sugary ones 😂 It’s true that here in America we put sugar in practically everything, so no they may not like the more acidic or savory flavors of other cultures. But just put in that sugar ✨ and BAM! “Oh it tastes to good!” 😂😂😂 kinda sad but it is what it is

[@valyair]

"Don't sacrifice your reality for a fantasy" is a beautiful piece of advice

[@valyair]

Also this was a fun subreddit to go through. Would like to see it again!

[@mrr1132]

Life advice that too many would get upset over. I'm not one of them, and think that this us the best life advice, ever.

[@Boop-beep-bap]

A message that should be shown to every scammer manifestation channels

[@dieypslackiert]

Well i think it depends on what the fantasy looks like. If you always dreamed of e.g. moving to another country bc you're not happy with your current life, then why shouldn't you reach for that dream?

[@Lily_of_the_Forest]

Nah, reality is crap

[@sam177007]

“Man up.” That statement is the exact reason why men and boys don’t come forward with abuse. Men can be victims too.

[@sarabrenna5525]

Yeah it's disgusting that some people had the audacity to write it under that post. I hope that man can successfully divorce his abusive wife and get full custody of the kids.

[@ZiggyonMars]

It also continues the cycle of abuse.

[@luckyinky7849]

And some says stuff like "men are having it harder than women" when they themselves makes it harder for them to live

[@jaqsre]

it’s terrible. abuse victims and abusers don’t have a set gender, and it’s insane how people don’t accept this :(

[@lokicooper4690]

It's all a part of the toxic macho culture. Men can't be victims, not if they're _real_ men, _manly_ men. Just FU you POS. Anyone can be a victim.

[@theclockworktempest]

For the married man who lost his old high school sweetheart and had a very supportive wife, it is possible to love multiple people in your life and to hold on to loves. Emotional intelligence for the win here.

[@db_524]

That one moved me to tears. It’s so bittersweet. 💔😭

[@hotkfclover6169]

Lol if your wife agrees, then go on. But I would hate if my partner thought so. I like how open I became in relationship, but I can't imagine how you can just start being with someone else with those feelings and trust to another. I mean, if you close that door, that can be fine, but even then can remind of previous love. Awful. Once again, if your partner agrees then it's fine

[@frauleinzuckerguss1906]

​​@@theliminalsystem Not only do polyamorous people exist but also no one said anything about romantic love specifically. If you didn't break up on bad terms then it's totally normal to still feel love toward your ex, especially if they were your first real love. Even if you don't want to be with them anymore they were still an important person in your life and your partner, like a best friend. You can love them as a person in a platonic or even familial way and I think it is quite beautiful that this person values his high school ex so much and is surrounded by people who understand that love can come in many different forms without betraying one's current romantic partner

[@CorgiDaddy2]

My wife and her ex did not have a bad breakup. They simply grew apart. They have 3 kids and I often tell friends that a pic of them should be posted next to a description of Successful Co-parents. She is still considered a member of our family. I cannot imagine standing in the way of them saying the final goodbye to one another as they were each other's first loves as well. Those kids are now quite successful. We are living our best lives.

[@betsyjohnson9699]

@@hotkfclover6169Not all love is romantic or sexual. It is very possible to love someone platonically

[@ambregille549]

As a person living with BPD (Borderline personality disorder), I want to express that BPD does not equal abusive person, that is different things and I fight everyday to be very self-aware of all my mechanisms, the tricks of my ill brain, so that it does not bring suffering to others. I am very communicative about everything that goes through my mind to my partner and he has stated many times (as I get madly worried about being abusive anytime I encounter such stories) that we have a very healthy and good relationship, and that he's happy with me. If you have BPD, it is possible. Communication and self-awareness is the key I found. If you are close to someone with this condition, know that the condition does not excuse abuse in any way, and that if they refuse to try and get better (though be careful to express yourself with kindness and love about the subject), then you have every right to consider they do not love you as much as you deserve. The only thing I ask is, be kind and understanding as much as possible. Have a good day/night everyone. Edit: I want to thank absolutely everyone in the comments here, you're all wonderful people and have made my day after a very rough moment. You all bring me back some hope in humanity after coming across so many hateful and not understanding groups. Thank you all so much and continue to be awesome and take care of yourselves!💛

[@qwandary]

BPD is usually from trauma which basically makes it a subtype of PTSD and I wish more people treated it with the same kindness. If someone with PTSD flips out, we understand they're a wounded person fighting for their life in a situation we recognise isn't dangerous. We need more of that understanding for BPD. Is mental illness messy and sometimes hurtful? Absolutely. Is it a deciding factor on if someone is abusive? Nope. Keep healing and being an awesome person, I wish the best for you.

[@ambregille549]

@@qwandary Thank you, I posted this because i feel often attacked by so many stories of abusive woman who turns out to have BPD, and while searching online I found a lot of places where it is actually exes and stuff of the sorts whom ramble on about how awful BPD suffering people are. It spreads so much misinformation that it really does not help those like me in their daily struggles. Especially since part of the abuse that generated this illness was about how evil and bad of a person my mom claimed me to be.

[@esmeraldaloschuetz9120]

Thank you for that comment! All the best to you.

[@cary9479]

@@qwandary It is not a subtyp from PTSD yes it Codes from trauma, but like many other mantal illness, but this doesn't make it a subtyp from PTSD. It is a personality disorder and often they also have PTSD. The subtyp from PTSD that is in someway simular to BPD ist cPTSD but this isn't the same, like some people think.

[@challah_back_femme9857]

we don't even know if she actually even has it. So many people armchair diagnosis their abusive partners with BPD and NPD and their abusers don't have it.

[@Comrade_mommy]

My 18 yr old niece is a nanny. She started working for this family at 13 as a mother’s helper, then babysitter, then a (non live in) nanny. The babies love her and the parents even took her on vacation with them. But that’s when the sht started. My niece is drop dead gorgeous, tall, leggy, blonde, & insanely sweet and incredibly goofy. The dad caught feelings for her and thought it was appropriate to tell a barely 18 yr old grl who he’s watched grow up that he had feelings for her. It’s really messed her up. She felt guilty like she led him on even though her mom and me both told her she is in no way responsible for this grown a$$ man’s stupid fcking actions. She put in her 2 week notice but is devestaed bc the 3 yr old was crying and saying he loved her. She’s only stayed as long as she has bc the parents kind of suck at parenting and she felt like the kids needed her. I mean she had to teach the parents that yelling at and hitting their toddler was counterproductive. (Besides being a shtty thing to do.) Most nanny’s & babysitters don’t reciprocate when a parent hits on them. And even when they do it’s usually a case of a huge power disparity and the majority of the blame should fall on the parent. Most nanny’s/babysitters are under 25.

[@katharineeavan9705]

Don't forget the grooming - it's not exactly uncommon for the babysitter to be a young girl the family has known for a while

[@Sonnenanbeterin1991]

She should call child protective service If the Kids gog hit

[@kdawson020279]

@Sonnenanbeterin1991 Corporal punishment is typically not illegal. In my state, it's not prohibited in public schools. It sounds like the sitter was a positive influence on discipline issues, and the major wrong here is that a 34 year old man acted on "feelings" for a 17 year old girl. While married. In the same room as the kid. Eta: putting or trying to put a kid in the system will never be better than their slightly bad parents for the kid. You'd be punishing the child.

[@tdelioncourt1268]

OMG I feel so bad for your niece. Good thing she left this situation.

[@michelewalburn4376]

Oh that's so sad for her and those children.

[@ExAngel001]

The son who forced himself on a girl, really disgusted me. Who knows how far he went. It's so disgusting that the mother is covering for him. What kind of message is she sending?

[@shannonraby5547]

Exactly, if he were truly remorseful he would turn himself in to the police. Plus, I think that he doesn't do that then his dad should turn him in and get a divorce. Which this was 10 months ago so I hope either the son turned himself in or the dad turned him in. Forcing yourself on someone or sexually assaulting them whatever, Is not about sex It's about power and control. She turned him down several times, and he wanted to punish her for not being attracted to him. I can see why she wasn't too.

[@ferretqueen2908]

Yeah, that poor girl. Hindsight is 20/20, regretting something as horrible as that is no way an excuse. Nasty f*cker. He should go to jail, I have no idea why his mother thinks that he deserves to be supported after something like that.

[@karmAnonymous]

That she wishes it was her 🤮 Ain't no way she's not a "pick-me" (emotionally incestuous) boy mom creating king babies/son-husbands arrested developmental homosexuals lacking impulse control. Bravo to her 😮‍💨👹

[@darkcnoil1260]

Buying an Emotional Support Demon was one of my better drunk decisions.

[@circumference7317]

It would be a good sober decision too :D

[@DIRTkat_ofc]

"When we're drunk we know the shit" -someone probably german

[@_baby.firefly_]

UGHHH I WANT TO BUY ONE BUT I DONT HAVE A PHONE OR PHONE NUMBER UPDATE: I GOT IT BUT IT WAS $40 SO IT BETTER BE WORTH IT

[@DIRTkat_ofc]

@@_baby.firefly_ that sounds like a pickup line, i'll fall for whatever pickup line involving demons or emotional support demons.

[@_baby.firefly_]

@@DIRTkat_ofc very smart choice

[@2a2777f2g]

Emotional support demon being the most selling plushie says a lot. I hope it works and we'll make Mango a best seller next year instead 😊

[@omegadadragon]

666 like :O

[@filipemartinho1753]

Mario vs Sonic at the Olympics, but it's Mango and ES Demon

[@MacTechG4]

Mango 2.0, Now WITHOUT stupid bow tie, perhaps? Ties suck.

[@dustorm5012]

@@MacTechG4 you will not survive the fans.

[@MacTechG4]

@@dustorm5012 don’t care, loathe ties. If I had access to the Infinity Gauntlet, I’d “Snap” 100% of ties out of existence, DIE TIES!

[@mosaicowlstudios]

I came on here for the "Married to a Mommy Vlogger" story--and you give the sweetest, most wholesome story right off the bat. That cat toy story was adorable.

[@lordoffrost6264]

even 5 months later and gets punched by the rest of the video for a bit,

[@emotional.support.goblin]

Omg, for the guy who has trouble sleeping in the same bed with his wife, I just found out they make this thing that's basically a sack that you sleep in. It's like a weighted blanket because it makes you feel cocooned. It's amazing. He could get her one of those and not only will it immobilize her arms and legs, it might also help her sleep better. I'm going to get one cause they are good for people with anxiety.

[@Mel-qr5ob]

😲 I want one! I'd already considered buying a weighted blanket but figured I'd always kick it off so it wouldn't be worth it

[@hypsyzygy506]

Perhaps they could call it a "sleeping bag" ?

[@MyNameHere101]

My husband and I sleep across the house from each other. He is a violent sleeper and throws his limbs around during the night, and I am a light sleeper and fidget a lot. We were always waking each other up. I began to just sleep on the couch with the promise that I would join him in a few hours, but found myself sleeping through the night. After two weeks of this we realized we were both happier separate and now we have our own rooms and personal spaces. It's been really good for our relationship, and there's a bonus of having fun sleepovers in each other's rooms with snacks and music.

[@annak8755]

I also used to twist and turn, my mom stopped putting me in a sleeping bag because once while sleeping I broke the zipper and pushed my feet through the hole I'd made (like a lame cape). As a result I was almost strangled by the remaining zipper and the sleeping bag tangling around my neck. Now that I'm in Uni, I can't sleep for more than a few hours I even sometimes fall asleep with my computer and so far I've broken only one, so anxiety, depression and stress can cure the condition😂

[@moestein6972]

Hylands pm leg cramp/ restless leg pills work very well, and improves my husband's sleep. I couldn't sleep in the same bed otherwise.

[@Kai81194]

Unconditional love? Sure. Unconditional trust or unconditionally excusing and forgiving anything? Absolutely not. It doesn't mean people are beyond help or deserve to suffer constantly for the rest of their life. But you hold people accountable even if you love them.

[@LakinMae5]

Holding them accountable is a from unconditional love, you still can love but you are not gonna tolerate their lack of responsibility.

[@Kai81194]

@@LakinMae5 wholeheartedly agree

[@Reicha]

I think it's more loving to be like "Son, you'll have to live with this guilt your whole life if you don't face it. You did this to another person." and help them grow, rather than assist them in becoming a selfish asshole. Encourage them to go to the police, talk to the girl etc. That said, I'm not sure I could tell authorities something my child told me in confidence (having no children myself). But I also definitely wouldn't _support_ them. I would do my best to get *them* to confess, for the rest of my life. Especially when it comes to a crime where the victim so badly needs that validation, like with assault. And... if my child vehemently refused, for ages, I might just end up contacting the victim and saying I'll be a witness on their behalf. Because damn, kid, you effed up.

[@Kartoffelkamm]

*Especially* if you love them, I'd say. If they don't recognize their wrongdoings, they can't grow.

[@cuppy3874]

Idk bro. Imo unconditional forgiveness exists for me but it doesn't mean no accountability. I can forgive you depending on the action but you need to take responsibility and do something to turn the action around. If you don't, I still forgive you but now there will be real consequences from me for your actions. (Or more consequences if part of taking responsibility was dealing with the consequences of something)

[@purplesam2609]

I 100% agree with the mommy blog husband. Forcing your kid to fit your """aesthetic""" is a few steps away from abuse in my opinion. On it's own, it's not, but keeping your kid from having toys that don't match what YOU like in THIER own room or playroom?? That's so bad. That controlling behavior *is* abusive and that woman needs help and that kid needs out of there.

[@ms.annthropic6341]

Fr, get a toy chest that fits the decor, then fill that thing with all the colourful toys the child wants, and just put them out of the way when she wants to post about the manufactured perfection that is her life 🙄 Also, what TF is wrong with anyone watching that content who would genuinely be upset that their kid has a dollhouse that doesn’t match the decor???

[@ferretqueen2908]

Forcing a kid to fit into a certain "aesthetic" they don't understand specifically for social media likes sounds like that woman has some really f*cked up priorities.

[@bbo7002]

Not to mention, kids need to see lots of bright colors bc it's good for their development! It's just weird behavior no matter how u look at it 👀

[@trishnjasperCarnivorePack]

love it when your response to toxic family is so perfect that you "break" your therapist. that last one was perfect.

[@mrr1132]

Had a friend who had a therapist reply to his life story with surprise that he hadn't... "unalived" himself. Of course, considering the state, and the decade, some therapists at that time weren't worth much, really.

[@AmberTurdsShittyBedsheet]

Imagine even breaking a therapist. Like how lmao.

[@AmberTurdsShittyBedsheet]

@@mrr1132 I know someone whose therapist told them the same - they were like 'Uh, thanks? How does that help me in any way?'

[@NaliTikva]

@@mrr1132 tbh it would make me feel kinda good to hear that. Like being strong for not having done that.

[@break_the_galaxy]

​@@NaliTikvaYeah, same. I'd be honored to hear that

[@silvsevie]

Unconditional love doesn't mean not holding someone accountable. Unconditional love means that you hold them accountable, make sure they learn their lesson so they will never repeat that behavior and push them to make reparations, whereas that means jail or at the *very least* apologizing to his victim. unconditional love means you love them despite their flaws not that you will encourage their bad behavior, because behavior like that escalates. That woman does not love her son, she probably just doesn't want the public knowing what he did.

[@katharineeavan9705]

Could also be guilt. Parents, especially mothers, are often held accountable for their kids' wrongdoings, regardless of whether they raised them that way or condone their behaviour. If she admits that her son straight up r*ped someone, she has to admit that she raised a r*pist, as well as that her baby boy who she loves might be an awful person. If she mitigates it and lessens it in her head to just some minor drunken mistake he very much regrets and that he didn't even mean to do, then she can keep her mental version of her sweet little boy AND her identity as a 'good' mother. Not an excuse for her behaviour in the slightest, but I do think her actions are more likely due to the above rather than just 'protecting' someone she loves or protecting her reputation.

[@nevaehhamilton3493]

Unconditional love also means disowning the person for their crimes, because they are simply not worth their time or anyone's.

[@charliekahn4205]

@@nevaehhamilton3493 Unconditional love for the world means permanently ensuring that the world will know exactly what they did upon first contact.

[@grandmothergoose]

I'm a mother of adult sons, and I can't imagine them ever doing anything like in the story about the mother siding with her son over that terrible thing he did. I love my sons more than anything in this world. I think that's a normal way for a mother to feel. But that being said, if I ever found out that any of my boys ever did something like that to anyone, I'd be making damn sure they could never do it again.

[@korab.23]

My sons are still young. I've told them I will always love them but if they land in jail I'm not bailing them out. I love them enough to hold them responsible now while the stakes are relatively small in the scheme of life so that hopefully that doesn't happen.

[@FelineVillain]

So you basically told the people that very very often get thrown into jail for stuff that they don't even do (false holding is as high as 45% of arrests) that if they get beat by someone else after doing nothing wrong to pretty much get fucked.... Yea your a really loving mother.

[@londonmason6129]

If I had one and he did that I’d be in jail and he’d be in a grave

[@bookishnewt8468]

That mood whiplash between the first two posts.

[@dedhampster4730]

RE: the cook making cheap versions of food: The "authentic" version of any culture's or region's food if often the cheap version made with simple, affordable and accessible ingredients. Most people's tastes are fairly simple too and cant really experience the nuances in complex foods like high end wine or complicated fermentation. Sometimes those flavors are even interpreted by our brains as "bad" because the level of nitrates, tanins, fungus etc may be harmful to our liver and general health in abundance.

[@fdm2155]

My brother used to work for the state liquor stores. He has some great stories about wine prices. Multiple reps told him that their brands sold the cheap stuff to Americans because most customers don't know the difference any way. 🤣

[@dedhampster4730]

@@fdm2155 I believe it! My father-in-law swears he knows wine and goes around to vineyards collecting bottles. Messina Hof in Texas was the only winery he shared that was good enough to commit to memory, it actually was so good I can remember every flavor of their darker red wine. A lot of wines priced just high enough for people to think they are getting something fancy are like cough syrup mixed with stomach acid. Honestly, the $3 Winking Owl brand from Aldi is nice in a glass or in cooking.

[@theuncalledfor]

my brain interprets ALL wine as bad, because it is. It's rotten grape juice. Yegh.

[@electrowave114]

@@theuncalledfor Technically not rotten, since yeast fermentation is different from rot. But alcohol _is_ a poison, so technically still bad either way.

[@dedhampster4730]

@@theuncalledfor Question, does veggies like brocolli taste bitter or like cigarettes to you? You find peppers spicier than your peers? Cilantro taste like soap along with your dislike of wine as rotten grape juice? I am convinced that some people are wired to more strongly avoid "unpleasureable" foods. I have 3 theories as to why: 1.) they never lost the strong pull for high sugar, high fat foods children have for their growing bodies 2.) modern, manufactured foods are so sweet that their tastebuds are conditioned to reject lower sugar options and/or 3.) Their tastebuds are more sensitive to avoid potentially poisonous foods from a hunter/gatherer genetic line.

[@arturiapendragon9642]

Remember this: while yes, family is family, toxic is toxic. Just because you married/are related to someone doesn’t give them the right to treat you like shit, or mean that you have to put up with their shit.

[@nevaehhamilton3493]

Family is stupid. You aren't given a choice whether or not you should cut ties with them, you *must* cut ties with them permanently.

[@nemeinshirwell9981]

The very first read. If he doesn’t propose by putting a ring box in her shoes I’ll riot

[@creativefluffypillow]

But would she think the cat is proposing to her

[@MiraBoo]

Omgosh, that would be the sweetest proposal!

[@lolucorn1]

​@@creativefluffypillowwhere's the problem?

[@jaytrashwade1-1]

I thought they were already married though?

[@demetriajones3231]

Unrealistic expectations much?

[@whiterabbit47]

My grandma kept sending me grifter and debunked conspiracy theory videos from Facebook, I got her to stop by spamming her with peer reviewed studies /articles that said the opposite of what ever the claim of the day was until she realized she can't win an argument against me without science on her side

[@rhylla_864]

My stepdad hates that tactic and swears the world was soooo much better when people couldn't look anything up in a second

[@gecko2.617]

@@rhylla_864 ah yes the good old days when you won the discussion because people were not able to look up the truth 😅

[@sevans8784]

Omg I love this, I wish it worked on my brother. He straight up says "I have ADHD and dyslexia, I'm not reading that. Let me continue to tell you why you're wrong though..." ah well, some people are lost causes

[@icantthinkofaname6397]

@@sevans8784 it sucks when people use their disorders as an excuse. I also have ADHD and dyslexia, so there's a good chance I won't read a long article proving me wrong, at least not right away, but if someone gives proof you're wrong and you don't read it? Drop the argument, or put it on hold until you read the proof. It's so frustrating that some people just refuse to listen and then use their disorders or disabilities or ect as an excuse

[@sevans8784]

@@icantthinkofaname6397 Yes, exactly, thank you!

[@yukiutaware1064]

I worked for a bit as a girlfriend for hire and it's remarkable how wholesome and fun it can be to just talk to people when they really need it. I had strict rules about conduct and the men that hired me were perfect gentlemen because they knew what they were getting and adult fun times was not one of those things.

[@sexymoneyonion888]

How'd you get into it?

[@beebeelicious]

I'd be a good Granny for hire I reckon . I could cook, look after kids, make stuff....

[@marteumar8429]

Girlfriend for a hire is a lot of words to say prostitute lol

[@josephmother2659]

@@marteumar8429it’s not the same thing lol. Do you think before you type?

[@orangemc9358]

​@@marteumar8429They didn't get sex, they just got... A paid friend for the day, I think.

[@sylviekeller4729]

"Authentic European food" is not "5stars restaurant fare", it is "what any food-nook fed them", sounds reasonable.

[@beez1717]

Authentic food is what the average people eat on an average day in a given place. Usually it's easy to make and it has a taste profile that is unique to that area a lot of the time.

[@lampekartoffel]

Exactly. People rarely have the time or money to make a 5* meal at home. Hell, as a European, I'd say that the closest to "authentic but posh European food" would be going to an inn and order a dish that's medium priced and very popular in the area - just, don't go for "meal of the day" here in Denmark, as they're generally frozen so that they can quickly and cheaply be sold in a flash no matter how popular the dish or busy/slow the day turn out to be. The best meal I've ever had at an inn was "æggekage" which is literally just eggs, milk and a few spices +/- some vegetables. It was served in a big skillet and with a small basket of ryebread. It was fucking amazing! If you wanted to turn that into a fancy 5* meal, you would have to ruin it by adding all kinds of expensive sheit to it

[@itsflappletime]

Going to a 4 star restaurant in europe is what you should be looking for. Almost to the posh paris standard, but still personable

[@BooksandBuns]

Authentic European food is usually just some store bought ingredients, fresh veggies, & made at home by a family member. Like, some of the best sauces I've eaten were made on a tomato puree base bought from the Polish section of my local Sainsbury's. Authentic European food is not rich people food. Authentic European food for many of us is the rural type of food made from simple ingredients found in the countryside, like mushrooms & fish & sauerkraut in my country. If those rich American types want authentic European food, just slap down a packet of store bought pierogi in front of them, they don't get any more authentic than that

[@spyrothegamer2131]

Yeah it is funny because i am dutch, so for me Authentic European food just means stamppot and thick soup.

[@ATiredTripleA]

I will never understand people who don't find their partners cute when they're half asleep, bedhead, in whatever they threw on to walk around the house. Anyone can see them dressed up nice, but you get that rare sight of them an absolute mess. That's a treasure.

[@MissCaraMint]

It is adorable isn’t it☺️

[@theunsexyoccult1379]

My boyfriend half-asleep with his head on my stomach while we cuddle on the couch is the cutest thing. It means so much that he's that comfortable with me.

[@stephthecreative6312]

I agree.

[@galuxius1861]

Love my girlfriend in her snapchat pictures, and just selfies she sends me. Her snapchat pictures usually are dressed up but seeing her just in her everyday outfits makes my heart skip a beat.

[@mcgaggie1442]

I think I need to date better people…

[@nebulan]

I feel bad for the families. They don't deserve to be forced into crap because their family member was crap. I'm glad she had pitty on the mom.

[@tdelioncourt1268]

Telling the mom 100%, but I would avoid doing that in front of the kids

[@ms.annthropic6341]

@@tdelioncourt1268 I think they’re referring to the break up post with the guy who was cheating on her with the TA and his friends GF, not the one who was dating the guy with the family for 2yrs. So they’re referring to not sending the screenshots to his mom showing that he likes getting peed on.

[@ZoziBlack15]

15:39 but that is?? authentic food?? European peasants and Asian townsfolk don’t put expensive Pinot Noir or truffle soy or whatever into our food? Wine vinegar is exactly what you get in a small mountain village. That chef is having some wild imposter syndrome for no reason, poor thing.

[@girlysoap9031]

hopefully someone in the replies helped him understand

[@TheDolphace]

Sounds pretty stereotypical american to me

[@mybittersweetme]

What I got from the story was that also when he heard authentic it meant imported ingredients to him, because idk if it's happened to you, but I've noticed that things don't taste the same everywhere, like if you buy an onion in the USA and then buy the same type of onion in the UK and then in Japan, they will all taste a bit different (not very noticeable but if you're used to one flavor, you will notice). So part of that extra work required getting the exact pear or whatever that came from that specific place, until he realized that they didn't really mean authentic because they're not used to the flavor the food has in other parts of the world. It tasted off to them probably because it was not the flavor profile they were used to taste. This is why people usually prefer having fusion food than actual authentic cuisine. We like what we're used to eating and find it difficult to accept new flavor profiles in our lives.

[@jameson1239]

@@mybittersweetme I think the best example is probably bread I live in Canada and when I travel to the states the bread is way sweeter

[@tomlxyz]

​​​@@mybittersweetmeyou got a point but that can't take 12 hours per meal and thousands of dollars in total. Besides they said the cheaper version did taste like what they had in Europe where it was made with European ingredients

[@alexanderveenhof8898]

That son would be out of the house immediately. I had a friend who was crushing on a female friend of mine once, she told us he tried to Just r her while she was in bed. I spoke to him exactly once to confirm it (which he did) and tell him if i ever see him again i will beat the shit outta him. Never seen him since

[@nonyabusiness3619]

Good.

[@dmgroberts5471]

It was charitable of you to give him a warning. I mean, I don't know how that confession went down, but some people might have played it off as being no big deal, then used his continuing trust of you to do something nasty to him.

[@nevaehhamilton3493]

Why didn't kill him right then and there? It makes much more sense.

[@TokioHotelMeow12]

Noooo, I disagree with the twitch stream one. A friend did this to me before, except she pretended to be a stranger commissioning me for my art. I was so excited to draw for someone. Eventually she told me all the people who commissioned me were her secret accounts. I felt so defeated because I thought people were enjoying my art. I also felt manipulated/lied to. If the boyfriend finds out he will be heartbroken 💔

[@emcaco]

Nooo why did she tell you?? That defeats the point of building you up so you have the confidence and experience to take on more commissions! I'm so sorry you went through that.

[@PointsofData]

​@@emcaco except if only one person wants to commission them, their commissions disappear when you stop asking, which leads to confusion and hurt and frustration. If they somehow find out, and there's a lot of ways it could slip, it destroys their confidence. Just ask them as yourself and try to get friends and family to commission them. Don't lie.

[@augustuslunasol10thapostle]

Damn that sucks well i atleast hope you can see the bright side in this situation

[@TokioHotelMeow12]

@@PointsofData yes, exactly! If my friend had just commissioned me as my friend and been up front that it was her and she wanted to support me, it would have made me so happy. I don’t like being manipulated even if they think they are doing a good thing 😬

[@nevaehhamilton3493]

Sounds like she was a terrible friend. I hope you're better off without her.

[@Amielle-in-Ami-hell]

The story about the girl who was okay with her husband trying to spend time with his ex and make the most of her final days is definitely one of the best stories I’ve ever heard, if not THE best.

[@VioletLimes]

I’m confused kinda, I feel like I need more context, why was he so important to the ex? Since she has kids I’m assuming she’s had at least one other lover (Ik there are other situations), is there a reason they both still hold a sentimentality to eachother even though it’s clear they’ve broken it off? I know it’s supposed to be sweet but i don’t think I’ve ever found any of these “reuniting with Ex” stories kinda cute.

[@Amielle-in-Ami-hell]

@@VioletLimes fair enough, but sometimes you break it off for other reasons and it’s not like you got mad at each other for it.

[@lunarla123]

@@VioletLimes Well the post did say that the husband and the ex were each other's "first loves" so it's understandable that they weren't exactly compatible with each other but still hold some feelings, and because she's in her final days might as well see off all the people you cared about, even her ex which from what I'm reading, he still has a special place in her heart and vice versa. Breaking up doesn't mean you resent them forever after all

[@rayafoxr3]

YOU ARE SO RIGHT. A post on Facebook went viral with a man visiting his WIFE WHO DIED’s grave on her birthday, and his current girlfriend supporting it, and people were like… mad! It made me so upset that people disapproved of it that I started crying and I still get sad thinking about it, I try to support how others live their lives and relationships but I just can’t believe we disprioritize love and memory so much that anyone could even think of being upset by that. And it wasn’t even an ex, it was his wife at the time she died! And to be clear, if that would make you jealous, you can’t help that, it’s an emotion, and I know I get jealous at random shit sometimes. But you have to accept that’s your feeling, and we should change the mindset from ‘wow, she’s so accepting and confident that she would allow that!’ To ‘not being okay with that is wrong.’

[@Amielle-in-Ami-hell]

@@rayafoxr3 I 100% agree with this. Jealousy is still an important emotion but we can’t let it get in the way of memory. For those who don’t understand, a brief referencing to Disney’s Coco shows that Miguel’s great grandmother never saw her husband again after he left to pursue music. She jumped to conclusions and made herself jealous, ridding her and her daughter of everything that reminded her of her husband. This is an excellent explanation of jealousy clogging our brains and leaving no space for memory. If we allow ourselves to see past jealousy, we can have some remembrance, putting ourselves in the other person’s shoes for a moment to understand why they feel the need to do what they’re doing.

[@crimsonshadow1477]

The story where she wanted to nuke her cheating fiance's life is a great example of why you don't pre-post, even with a throw away you can still get found out...always wait till you have done the deed and just provide receipts for proof you did it

[@Kyman102]

Reminds me of that iconic moment in Watchman. "Do it? Dan, I am not a Republic Serial Villain. Do you seriously think I'd explain my master stroke if there was the slightest chance you could effect the outcome? I did it 35 minutes ago"

[@jes6427]

Honestly... that bf is SUCH a keeper "it makes her so happy i get up and put it in her shoes" .. thats so freaking cute

[@AspiringToFailure]

Only halfway through, but I'm loving this mix of topics on this subreddit; the bitterly human and the wholesomely tragic. I know it sounds weird but I like to see your sweet side like almost crying and subdued. 10/10 would watch again!

[@SininenMeri]

Dad and the 17-year-old babysitter - even in places like Finland where the age of consent is 16 this can be considered a very problematic case as the underaged partner is working for the significantly older partner's family. There is such an power imbalance.

[@snekysneks]

My guess is that he cheated because he was frustrated he couldn't manipulate his wife. So, he found someone young and vulnerable who would be.

[@2020-p2z]

In most of Australia, the age of consent is 16 (17 in some states.) BUT, it is an offence to have relations with someone who is 16 or 17 with whom you have a supervisory relationship. That means if you are their teacher, foster parent, coach, pastor, employer, etc, it's illegal. So this scenario would be illegal in most of Australia.

[@cursedalien]

Yeah... In my opinion, age of consent being below age of majority should mean "consent to peers" but not "open season for predatory adults"

[@nastiana8336]

It's not just problematic it's illegal if the older person has position of power against invitual that's a minor

[@KiraFriede]

Aren't there any strings attached. There is age of consent as low as 14 in Germany, but there are strings. If you're 14, the second person can be no older than 16. If you're 16, the second person can be no older than 21.

[@indilibri8588]

My dad once told me about the time his cat left a 'cat toy' in his slipper. He got up in the morning and put on his slippers, and after a few steps thought that the insole had slipped up and bunched in the toe. He figured it wasn't anything to bother with and proceeded with his morning routine. Made coffee, ate breakfast, exercised, eventually finally decided to straighten out his insole. Turned out he'd been walking around with a dead mouse for the last couple hours.

[@loger6995]

Ooooh squishy

[@ferretqueen2908]

Thank goodness my cats are indoors and suck at hunting

[@loger6995]

@@ferretqueen2908 we had a cat that LIVED to catch snakes. She wouldn't hurt them. Just gently bring them to us alive lol. Mostly black rat snakes and garter snakes. Nothing venomous, thank goodness.

[@rosamelano1535]

Can't imagine the realizationn 💀💀

[@disasterbanoodle1822]

I also wonder for the chef, how many of those tourist trips are spent at real authentic places. Typically the super bougie, touristy, or "authetic" shops are more tailored to American tastes (aka more sugar and salt) or are not anywhere near as authentic as the menus not in English or small mom and pop shops. Folks in other countries know we're easy to fool, so they may just be used to that kind of cooking tbh.

[@nnnik3595]

Well I doubt that in France for example the amount of American tourists outweighs the amount of national tourists.

[@AhsimNreiziev]

@@nnnik3595 But would French national tourists go to the "super bougie, touristy or 'authentic' shops" though, or would they seek out local gems by asking the locals for recommendations?

[@nnnik3595]

@@AhsimNreiziev A bit of both if I had to guess

[@j.c.2240]

It's likely. I mean, I don't know any rich people personally, but I highly doubt an average rich person is going to go to a remote part of a country they're visiting

[@saskiakraft]

And also what‘s authentic? It‘s not like everyone in those places only cooks with premium ingredients at home, i think that most people use cheap substitutes and shortcuts in their daily life because a 12h meal is usually not realistic even if it‘s the traditional way. And there are many dishes that have evolved over time so that the replacement becomes „canonical“ (sorry if that‘s a weird word choice) or at least a common variant

[@mikailar3443]

“never tell people the plan tell them the story” girl i was rooting for you 😭

[@strivingtoonedaybeuseful6049]

Exactly!! Tell them after you made it. This applies to everything

[@dreamiinotdream730]

She had a bum ass boyfriend and expected him NOT to be a redditor?

[@wta1518]

Both of them sounded extremely toxic.

[@DystopianOverture]

Same I was screaming at my laptop saying the same thing.

[@thatonecabridog]

Tbh, I feel like neither of them were in the right.

[@fanatomic24]

This has to be the most depressing subreddit ever. The stories usually rank from pranking a friend to straight up crimes

[@talcorp9998]

With the chef story at around 15:00 or something, it just affirms the fact that rich people have no taste.

[@just1luckyguy229]

Na, its more like the fact that taste has no price. If out of a 1$ and a 100$ meal, the 1$ tastes better, its not because youre a peasant

[@just1luckyguy229]

Another funny thing related to this topic, is that a lot of "luxury foods" started as just commonfolk meals. Like lobsters, oysters, the goulash, etc... all fisherman and shepred meals that go for an incredible price now

[@hypsyzygy506]

The genuine meals that people eat are never the perfectly-crafted recipe-book versions that use expensively sourced ingredients. Perhaps chef's versions are really close to the meals the family actually experienced.

[@hypsyzygy506]

@@just1luckyguy229 At one time oysters were so cheap that it was forbidden to feed London apprentices oysters more than three times per week.

[@Sonnenanbeterin1991]

They are used to eat sugery Things i guess

[@SetaKaiboGayming]

Hearing about the professional cuddlers legitimately made me want to cry. I could have used this my whole life

[@Anna133199]

Yeah, I'm considering becoming one now. There's something so wholesome about it.

[@SetaKaiboGayming]

@@Anna133199 please for all who are like us, take that job! More cuddles are needed in this world!

[@SetaKaiboGayming]

@@Anna133199 please for all who are like us, take that job! More cuddles are needed in this world!

[@piiinkDeluxe]

There are cuddle Parties as well!

[@pink-flower.]

i now know my future job. i don't need any special education. it makes me happy. it makes the person im cuddling happy. and i might be able to save people from doing something they shouldn't. it would let me be who I've always wanted to do make people happy.

[@thajocoth]

"BDSM stuff for sleeping" - I've done that... Ankle cuffs on a partner who always wound up diagonal on the bed. It worked great. They stayed on their side of the bed all night, so I was able to sleep fine, and they were into it. The attachment point was a carabiner, so quick release was possible just in case an emergency ever happened, and their hands were never bound, so they could easily release it themselves if need be. (This was never needed, but it's always important to consider safety just in case.)

[@nancys8581]

Yea you don't want a Gerald's Game situation

[@maggiem6209]

I imagine this would work well for me, too. XD I migrate across the whole bed.

[@darienb1127]

Huh. I'm suprised it actually worked! My biggest concerns would be being able to get out in case they need to use the bathroom, and the equipment not casuing any pain or discomfort

[@sidoniegabrielle269]

@@darienb1127 there are more lenient kind of velcro-y semi-elastic restraints available that make getting out quite easy if anything happens. it's truly designed so people can roleplay but have the full comfort of knowing you're not actually trapped & can get out in case of emergency. way comfier than a chain situation or hospital-style restraints. sleeping w/that kind of ankle restraint is honestly probably more comfortable than a lot of stuff like CPAP machines etc

[@tamsel814]

I have also heard about restraints being used on frequent sleepwalkers. Keeps them from endangering themselves (and possibly others)

[@talkichik101]

Most couples sleep better separately. This needs to be normalized. Nothing wrong with it. Relationship will be much better than fighting over a single bed.

[@whatcanidooo]

My parents would always talk about sleeping poorly when one of them was gone, and it gave me the expectation that sharing a bed with someone would make me sleep better too 😅 boy was I wrong

[@jukaye2179]

@@whatcanidooo my parents arent sleeping together since my dad got a huge surgery and he needed to wake up every 2 hours and it feels like they are more relaxed :)

[@AllTheHappySquirrels]

I've been trying to convince my husband of this for years, but he very sweetly wants to snuggle me like an octopus 😂

[@fizzyheart2486]

@@AllTheHappySquirrelsdon’t . Snuggle hubby is better than the cold paperweight you get when you ignore your partners wants.

[@AllTheHappySquirrels]

@@fizzyheart2486 It's hard to be so well-loved 😄

[@Trumpeter667]

One additional “that’s messed up” about the “aesthetic” blogger is that kids need bright colors at a young age to help their eyes develop. They start out needing major contrasts in colors so as they get older they can distinguish different shades. If everything is beige, that child is going to grow up with. sight issues It’s actually becoming an increasingly bad problem as more and more moms try to have honed matching their “aesthetic” and the kids’ rooms are all very neutral colors.

[@Just_a_commenter]

Huh, this is a subreddit that I've genuinely never seen... And I can't think of another man I'd rather see guide us through it! Let's go, Clicky c: And congrats on the well deserved success of the Emotional Support Demon. I can't wait for my trio of them to arrive

[@narc2.036]

I think it’s a newer one as I’ve only seen it recently

[@HexisVonSpade]

I've seen it but not very often covered on youtube, at least that i've come across. Very very glad that click is testing the waters. also, excited for my duo of ESDs to arrive :D we will overtake the world with our little loving beans!

[@AirIcky]

@@HexisVonSpade I haven't seen this subreddit much with longer videos, but I've seen a lot of it on shorts (so many 2 or 3 part vids :/)

[@ammitthedevourer7316]

I stumbled upon it like a year or two ago, back then it was basically r/unpopularopinion. I’m not sure how much digging Click did to get these posts, but I’m glad it’s grown past that initial cringy phase.

[@TheLuckySpades]

The sub has been around for years, I learned about it about 7 years ago, /r/offmychest was (maybe still is?) somewhat ban happy so this one was made, with the intent that only actions on the sub itself could get you banned there I get the rational behind banning people from subs know to brigade/be shitty to people for reasons out of their control, but that did contribute to me sinking further into my shitty phase back in the day, when I was told I couldn't get these confusing feelings off my chest there didn't help me realize I was in a bad crowd

[@stevedavis5704]

In reference to the one with the father in opposition to the wife and son, there was a movie when I was younger with a line I have never forgotten. After a traumatic experience the main character made the statement “ If you say it’s okay for them to do this to me, then you are saying it’s okay for them to do it to you.” I have found this to be a very good approach to what is and isn’t okay.

[@TheDolphace]

The abusive wife one reminds me of a similar reddit post a few years back. He tried to leave so she unalived the kids. It was horrific, there are multiple posts, updates and news reports, it was very real (ie not made up for karma) People like that do crazy things when the world they've curated falls apart. Not saying don't leave, but be really careful about it with people like this. Especially with kids.

[@ashleyward6341]

Exactly. I feel so anxious when people confront the person BEFORE leaving. Always pack and leave when you know they aren't going to be home if you have even an inkling that they could be dangerous.

[@aihnen93]

I think you're talking about JASONINHELL. So sad

[@TheGallantDrake]

People need to understand that unconditional love is not the same as "this relationship will never change even if someone does something horrible". Unconditional love just makes the betrayal worse. You still love the person but now they're an enemy, and then they try to claim that your love makes you actually a friend and the horrible thing they did just shouldn't matter.

[@kissit012]

It literally means no conditions, as in nothing will stop it or change it. This is unhealthy. Love needs boundaries. Boundaries are healthy and keep respect among those involved.

[@luna-p]

@@kissit012 Exactly, unconditional love is unequivocally a bad thing

[@TheGallantDrake]

@@kissit012 I think perhaps we need more words than just “love” to describe what we’re talking about. I suspect we mean the same thing but are saying it different; people fixate on the “unconditional” part to try and pretend there’s nothing wrong.

[@sirshotty7689]

@@luna-phe definition you’re using for unconditional love is definitely unhealthy and dangerous. But the definition of unconditional love other people use is pretty normal. For most people, me included, unconditional love generally means doing something for someone without the expectation of receiving something in turn. For example those “dodged a bullet” posts on Reddit are often an example of conditional love. They act kind to the person because they want to date or have sexual relations with said person and when they don’t get what they want they lash out. That is conditional. But when I hold a door open for someone I do it because I believe it is common decency and the right thing to do, I don’t expect anything in return and I get nothing out of it. That is unconditional love for me. Sorry if this was a long post for you but I just wanted to explain that what you describe as unconditional love is not the same as what other people describe as unconditional love.

[@luna-p]

@@sirshotty7689 Holding a door open for someone is unconditional love? You have an unusual use for the term, not me. It's a concept older and with further reach than "nice guys." I'm talking about the type that people claim parents should have for their kids, or between family in general. Even in that circumstance, it's a terrible ideal. Love should be 100% conditional on decency and respect. If you don't receive those things, you shouldn't love the other person, and shouldn't be expected to. I cut off people who don't respect me, including my parents. But there are people who believe I'm the bad guy, because according to them, love between family should be unconditional. They are wrong.

[@juliaf_]

The 34/17yo babysitter situation would definitely be illegal in Canada. The age of consent is generally 16, but since the dad is in a position of power, that raises the age to 18

[@catherinecox573]

And he tried to blame the underage babysitter!!!! Blegh! :(

[@MissRandomNomad0o]

@@catherinecox573 I mean, even if she started it (and I would like to know what he considered her 'initiating it'), he is the one in a position of power and should've said no.

[@jacksont9455]

Even if it’s legal, that’s still really immoral. This person is brand new to adulthood, and this whole 34 year old man is preying upon her naivity

[@nonyabusiness3619]

The poor man married to the "mommy vlogger" needs to 1) record "a behind the scenes" footage of how she treats her family, post it on social media, while accompanied by his side of the story on how she's ruining her family, so her fans will turn on her. And 2) he needs to destroy her "aesthetic" by pouring paint on the furniture.

[@the11382]

Looks like r/TrueOfffMyChest is becoming a revenge subreddit.

[@violetsanddragons]

Won't do well in the divorce proceedings if he does that.

[@nonyabusiness3619]

@@violetsanddragons divorce proceedings don't usually do well for most men regardless. Might as well have fun with some petty revenge.

[@einienj3281]

I couldn't ever date a person like that.. completely fake or insane, or both.. wife should just rent a studio and let her kid and husband live a normal life, not some fantasy from an interior desig magazine.. just crazy..

[@Blip0000]

​@@nonyabusiness3619 that's a myth. Most men end up being better off after the divorce than the wife.

[@colorbugoriginals4457]

wish more ppl could accept that it is possible to have deep feelings for someone w/o it being sexual. it is such a beautiful, often selfless form of love.

[@lithellylbeleth3182]

I can confirm that professional cuddlers are indeed a thing, I have also made use of their services. Also they host these amazing things called cuddle parties, where two or three professional fiddlers will get together with like 10 or so clients and we'll just have a big cuddle ball The best cuddle party I went to was set up in a park, we had a big tent and lots of blankets and pillows, It started to rain and all 20 of us snuggled up together under the blankets and it was SO nice. The professional fiddlers BTW are licensed therapists so it's more like a tactile therapy session rather than a sx worker

[@averysspookshowspectacular6205]

I was SAd in college. If my child did that to someone else they would be out of my house. I'd turn them in in a heartbeat if they admitted it to me. And if I had a partner who defended them...well they'd be out of my life too. That's disgusting.

[@camelopardalis84]

People firstly have a warped sense of what loyalty is and of its importance and secondly think that if someone does something bad, they can only negatively react to it if they or "a loved one" are the victim. No, if my good friend cheats all the time on his girlfriend whom I happen to find boring and a bit rude, I still see he's a serial cheater and want nothing to do with him anymore. And no, it's not because I am worried he might do something similar to me. It's about me not wanting to associate with a shitty person.

[@Bane_Amesta]

The kid who "forced himself" will be one day in the news or something, I'm sure. The dad should just anonymously contact the girl and telling her everything. It doesn't matter how many people is defending the idiot, if she knows, he's doomed forever.

[@Feynix4]

Yeah, the dad should contact the police, that would be my automatic first response, even if it was my kid. Fucking awful, both the son and the mom

[@pheonixrises11]

@@Feynix4 I would tear that kid apart to find out what was wrong with him myself. Even if he goes to jail, he might still do it again and just not say anything the second time. At the very least that kid’s an idiot for pursuing someone that’s uninterested multiple times, and hopefully had a god awful time doing a god awful thing and hopefully felt like garbage afterwards.

[@soxpeewee]

Dad needs to call the police and divorce his wife

[@dannyfoxboi]

Exactly. I don't care if you're my kid, best friend, ect. If I found out you r-ped someone, I'm immediately reporting you and cutting ties. Acts such as that are atrocious, and who's to say the perpetrator won't do it again? The people who defend them are just as messed up, and I wouldn't trust them, either.

[@wind64a39]

I'm not usually a big sauce guy, but cheap store-bought honey BBQ is a weakness.

[@annak8755]

Hot sauce, Ketchup and mayo (or any other mayo based sauce) can be used as a base, you can add other things you like such as pickles, onions and garlic salt. Trust me, it goes on everything from fries to salads, chicken, burgers and stake and it's not even a lie that you "just made it".

[@sophiophile]

@@annak8755 I think it's a bit of a lie to call that 'making sauce', but noone is gonna care. I wouldn't say that I 'made pop' if I mixed Coke, Pepsi, and 7-UP. That point aside, it is still more delicious doing it yourself because you can cater to your own taste (salt/spicy/sour/sweet preference, I find almost everything too salty to enjoy). But definitely try some 'from scratch' recipes sometime. Some of them are even more amazing, and I don't think get sold because they don't bottle well.

[@annak8755]

@@sophiophile But you could safely say that you made a (virgin) cocktail. BTW Coke, Pepsi and 7up doesn't sound appetizing. Then again I was made to drink a Sprite and coffee mix on a dare and haven't recovered since.

[@cftyftyufyfuyfty]

Shit's like 80% sugar, of course it is

[@magicalronin]

Jerk BBQ sauce is mine.

[@uutdiegodzilla3821]

I saw a Swiss documentation a few years ago, about a woman doing the cuddleing as a service in homes for seniors and disabled people. It was very wholesome to see that there is such a simple way to make people happy. If remember it correctly, this woman had a special education to do the job, to know how to deal with the different issues the patients may have. Kudos to anybody doing this. We all need a little cuddle and affection once in a while, and this "service" makes the world a little better by giving it. ❤️

[@qtluna7917]

For the chef story: 95% of people have no idea how anything is supposed to taste. I've seen people insist that the sprig of thyme they bit on is parsley. That the fried duck breast from the Chinese restaurant is beef. Or that "they don't like blue cheese", when I saw them eat a whole gorgonzola pizza the night before and rave about how it's the best pizza ever.

[@Camazotz-kz9wr]

To be fair about the cheese one though, even though gorgonzola is a type of blue cheese, it is more mild and soft than other blue cheese. They may be unaware that blue cheese is a general term, and simply associate it with one specific type of cheese that is stronger than gorgonzola.

[@Llortnerof]

@@Camazotz-kz9wr For that matter, cooking it significantly affects the taste and smell. I'd be rather unsurprised if somebody couldn't stand basic Gorgonzola but loves it on Pizza or as a pasta sauce.

[@Camazotz-kz9wr]

@@Llortnerof True!

[@wolvie1618]

Ngl I'm kinda bummed the one where the person got cheated on twice didn't get to execute their plan. Their bf definitely deserved whatever was coming to him because that is one of the scummiest things you can do. Also a great example of why you never make like a cartoon villain and blab your whole plan.

[@mayhapsmaybe]

Or at least wait until the deed is done lol it would’ve been so satisfying

[@dmgroberts5471]

If you can't keep the snake on a leash, don't get into long-term relationships.

[@witchyarch]

So many of these were wild but the mom who denied her child toys over aesthetics and didn't care about her first steps made me so sad. I have a toddler and our house is chaos but we play together. I have pictures and videos of us all playing in a messy house and I love it.

[@anachronism5271]

my dad had a small blog revolving around me as a young kid, and its cute to see those memories captured! what was great was he DIDNT pose us, he took photos like a NORMAL dad then logged them for the family to be able to see back when texting them wasnt an easy thing.

[@AccidentallyOnPurpose]

10:06 reminds me of that one woman who would encourage her partner to visit the grave of an ex (she died while they were together). The woman brought flowers of her own as well. She made a facebook post about how important it was to acknowledge that she was/is a person he loves, and that she doesn't want to take her place, just be another person he loves.

[@kiraeckard7625]

That story seems very much like a 'please pat me on the back for being a good person' sort of story. I've never met anyone whose told their SO that they CAN'T go to anyone's funeral or say goodbye to them as they go. I can understand spouses being apprehensive to ask if it involves an ex lover, but death is a thing almost everyone respects. While I get the feelings of jealousy and overcoming them for the sake of closure and peace, I can't get over how much this feels like fishing for people to congratulate her on being a good person. Telling people how good you are makes me seriously doubt that you're actually a good person. People want to say "not many people would do this", yet everyone on the internet is overwhelmingly on her side....so is she really doing something that extraordinary if MOST people say they'd allow the same and are praising her for it?

[@AccidentallyOnPurpose]

@@kiraeckard7625 Oh it's absolutely a thing most people would balk a little about. Saying you'd do it and being in that situation are different. Many people seem selfless until it happens to them. You underestimate just how incredibly selfish people can be.

[@WaitinInAmber]

@@kiraeckard7625 Most people do balk at the idea that their partner could still love another person, even if that person has passed. People get insecure about it. It’s a pretty normal reaction, even if it does suck.

[@randomnoob101flyhightweek]

19:41 what makes it worse is that people keep their morals whenever they're drunk, they just get more confidence. AKA the son thinks that its morally okay to force himself on people.

[@randomnoob101flyhightweek]

This is why I have no faith for humanity

[@Lostflightwarriorcats]

Drunk actions are sober impulses, and drunk words are sober thoughts.

[@Super_Panda_BS]

Fun animal fact: The largest insect to ever live was a “dragonfly” with a wingspan of over 75cm (2 and a half feet) across

[@lithellylbeleth3182]

Meganeura, I love them

[@luvondarox]

That sounds either kind of pretty, or really disconcerting. I wonder what a dragonfly that large sounds like.

[@supper-girl7405]

Thanks! I wish I hadn’t read this :)

[@nnnik3595]

@@luvondarox they were Apex Predators

[@theblinkingbrownie4654]

When did they live?

[@robinchesterfield42]

My GOD this subreddit is a mixed bag of emotions! We go straight from "I put cat toys in my wife's shoe because she thinks it's cute!" to "I'M BURNING DOWN MY CHEATING SCUM BOYFRIEND'S LIFE", then a legit tear-jerker, then oh by the way, "MY SON R*PED SOMEBODY", and then ha ha, nightly bed struggle between a loving couple! (That "forced himself upon" story has me horrified and FURIOUS. I hope he stops breathing. I hope his mom stops breathing. "He was drunk" my butt, he went STRAIGHT for exactly the girl he'd wanted this whole time. People who don't respect the word "No", especially when it comes to woohoo, are a waste of oxygen.)

[@dmgroberts5471]

The MOST lenient thing that father should do, is make it publicly known in their community what his son did (not to who, though). My first instinct is drag him to the police by the scruff of the neck, but the girl might not want to be put through the trauma of a trial. Still, I wouldn't let him put it behind him, I'd make sure it followed him like an unofficial sex-offender's register.

[@nationalinstituteofcheese3012]

A drunk man’s words/actions are a sober man’s thoughts/ideas

[@catandrobbyflores]

​@@nationalinstituteofcheese3012 exactly!

[@dreamiinotdream730]

I feel like I heard the story before and it ended up with father ultimately reporting his son but that could just be very wishful thinking

[@t.k.5088]

My dad is a freak for appearances too. I never got to play in a pillow fort. We're not even allowed to leave blankets in the living room today. All because he wanted the house pristine for himself. I relate to the "no evidences of life" so hard. Not to mention he was a control freak about how long I'd get to play with the stuff I'd get (which were mostly gifts from other relatives) and talk about how I should "use my energy to learn things while I was still young because school is expensive". Besides that, he had no time for emotional bonds as he'd always lock himself in his bedroom asap because he was "tired from working to pay bills" (he was an engineer working a 9 to 5 int he 90s, not like he worked extra hours for anything). Can confirm, had nothing I can call a proper childhood since his bullshit also made my mom go batshit insane.

[@xfirefeather]

My touch starved ass: I wanna be a professional cuddler 🥺 Update: currently doing research now. Apparently a professional cuddler can make anywhere between $40 - $80 an hour. Update 2: my mom said I'm not allowed to be a professional cuddler ;-;

[@luna-p]

Man, this sounds like easy money, but people are gross, I couldn't do it. Not to say that people who need cuddles are gross, I just can't stand being close to people, ever. That $$$ is tempting though.

[@madmagdelena]

My friend was a professional cuddler for a while. As far as I know she liked it and didn't have any creepers. She did it though a company.

[@Roadent1241]

I'm Brit so while I want to....!

[@sleepykittyMMD]

Aww that’s unfortunate…. Do it anyways and then pay her off. Share some of your cuddle money with her

[@xfirefeather]

@@sleepykittyMMD easier said than done. Knowing her, I'd be disowned before I could even try.

[@seusdafirst]

That one story with the bowling alley did NOT go where I thought it would and it’s so cute

[@beccasavage1338]

The one where the mum made excuses for what her son did makes me feel sick. If my son told me that I would take him to the station myself and contact the girl and support her with whatever decision she makes.

[@Santisima_Trinidad]

From the passing regular food off as expensive food one They mentioned they make a particular sauce with vodka and fruice juice. Now, if thats a tomato based sauce, then vodka is actually way better in it. Because of the way alcohol interacts with tomatoes, when you add a spirit, particularly a clear one like vodka, into a tomato sauce, it becomes extremely tomatoey and rich, without getting any alcoholic sharpness to it(until you go overboard with the vodka). Wines usually don't have enough alcohol in them to trigger this effect to the extent a spirit will, without adding in a lot more wine than you would vodka, which just waters down the sauce.

[@schoo9256]

Oooh i learned something!

[@saintshrooms9424]

I’ve always had such a problem with people who document their entire lives and make it seem perfect, you just know that “aesthetic mommy influencer” is going to pull a guilt tripping thing when it comes out she’s getting divorced. Having your kids face on the internet like this is really not okay, of course some will like it in the future and join in, yet knowing how the school system is, as soon as this is found out that kid will practically be isolated and teased the rest of their time in education and probably in future jobs as well.

[@theblinkingbrownie4654]

I would absolutely hate that, this should not be accepted. People should have a right to what childhood photos of them are shared over the internet.

[@jessajayne1982]

Hi I’m a featured RAINN speaker and I rarely say that on here, I do now to say: THANK YOU!!! More men need to hear other men saying that assault and coercion is gross, for you to read a post by a man also bothered by it, you’re doing the good work. Also my cat says hello to emotional support demon, he says they went to the same demon college.

[@jaxscales6158]

Grossness and the intimate grossy gross. Very articulate there, Click

[@leila13dnd]

The story about the mom defending her son despite him forcing himself on a girl just reminded me of an important point: There is no such thing as unconditional love. Love SHOULD be conditional. The conditions aren't "Oh you can only love that gender" and the like. The conditions are that both of you try to be the best person you can be and that you take responsibility for your own actions. Unconditional love makes no sense. How can it be love if you can't even rely on the other to hold you accountable for your mistakes? Love should always be conditional at least to an extent.

[@tengochang8777]

As someone has said, unconditional love does not equal no accountability. If anything, pushing them take responsibility for their actions is unconditional love because you want them to do better. Whatever the mother has going on seems more of pride and denial to me.

[@hallowedsilence]

I disagree a little. I have unconditional love for my kids. It doesn't mean that I accept everything they do and say. I don't have to like them all the time. Unconditional love for me is where even though they have done wrong. I will give support through the consequences of their own actions. If my son forced himself on anyone. I would frog march him to the authorities. No one does that and skate away free. But I would still love him. He would still be my son. Trust and respect isn't unconditional but love is.

[@teritt]

@@hallowedsilence It’s your life but as a victim of _just_ grooming, I don’t know if I could love anyone after they did to another the kind of stuff I wake up from graphic nightmares about.

[@Nevertoleave]

It doesn’t matter what my kids do, I love them. I might not like them at times. But I always love them. Loving them unconditionally doesn’t mean I would ignore illegal behaviour. You do the crime you do the time. My daughter might be absolutely adorable when she’s mad at me for punishing her for doing something wrong, so much so I can’t be mad at her and it’s hard not to laugh, but I still send her to the corner

[@Janjones7735]

The people who are saying they unconditionally love their kids don’t mean love in the same way we think of loving another person. It’s an evolutionary attachment love. Also, this loving of a child should never preclude understanding and accepting their child has done something horrible and deserves whatever their punishment may be. Parents who voraciously defend guilty children are either in denial or bad people themselves.

[@Moravian_Mf]

I feel so sorry for the person who couldn't get their planned revenge but I'm glad the exes mother didn't defend her son and apologized for his actions.

[@karmAnonymous]

You know.... I'm wondering if seeing that post & having to step by step probably with an adrenaline rush frantic trying figure out how it could or couldn't be a coincidence... Try to search your surroundings for clues, too terrified/paranoid to reach out to your (soon to be EX) partner because who the hell that weak/disturbed/pathetic would want to face them head on.... Etc etc.... terrified abruptly leaving in the vehicle not belonging to you rushing to your parents House hiding our giving half truths then yours later hearing your mom on the phone with whom you're hiding from then immediately start yelling at you & then now have to figure out how to get the car back which burdens your parents whom are already pissed at you & no longer having friends to lean on.... Was equally as fuxxed ❔👩🏽‍⚖️

[@Moravian_Mf]

@@karmAnonymous I didn't even think about it like that! Thank you for sharing this point of view with me :) You're right, that's pretty much fucked up too

[@pearlofthedarkage]

This always strikes me with a cocktail of emotions. Cheaters, you do know that your partner is not stupid - just not psychic, right? A stupid person _does know_ the correct information - or at least has heard of it - but willfully ignores it and does the wrong thing anyways. Kinda like cheaters...

[@AnthroBean2906]

The absolutely gigantic difference between all these posts sent me on a little rollercoaster of emotions and thoughts, but I enjoyed it none the less.

[@ChasehaWing]

24:40 that babysitter story...give those tapes to the police and have him arrested for seducing a minor.

[@starrycharacter]

It also comes into the fact that they are paying her which makes her kind of a worker for them which means he has a power advantage over her which I believe does come into questioning when this kind of situation happens especially for the minor I really hope that girls okay I feel really bad for her and I don't blame that babysitter she's seventeen and a grown man is coming on to her

[@ladyfreedomrocks]

There are also professional listeners too! People you can hire to go out to coffee shop or just to go for a walk with just to listen to you and be supportive.

[@cleliaoconnell3705]

Are they some sort of therapists? That sounds really cool

[@basementdwellercosplay]

From what I've heard, $€× workers are often asked to just be a cuddler, emotional support someone, or something similar. It doesn't surprise me and glad that op is finding a healthy way to find a way to heal from her relationship. Heck somedays I would consider hiring a cuddler

[@awesome_by_default]

Honestly, I'm considering it since im so frickin lonely.

[@sophiophile]

@@awesome_by_default I used to work as/with SWs. Just be careful of being taken advantage of. Some will see a nice guy, and then start sending messages about their apartments flooding, and then their landlord extorting them, and then on and on and on. (Others save that behaviour for the jerks, at least lol. And of course some run an ethical business). If you do decide to do this, just don't spend more than you can afford (more than you'd pay for any other entertainment services) and keep track of the fact that every time they ask you to 'extend' your time, it's more $$ you might need for something else. (Also, I'm not trying to paint a negative image of my experience as/surrounded by SWs. Most everyone I knew turned to it due to poverty, and the risks/BS that go with the job are extreme)

[@awesome_by_default]

@@sophiophile Oh for sure. It's something to be careful around. I appreciate the words of warning.

[@geministrial950]

@@sophiophile Its funny. Ive heard this exact type of advice but from the other side, as in other SWs tell me how lots of men will make up any pity story to avoid paying up.

[@catelynh1020]

From my random knowledge store, a lot of brothels were less about physical pleasure and more about percieved companionship. You paid to have someone put you first for a bit, serve you drinks and food, laugh at your jokes, etc. Don't know if it's true for everywhere, but in some regions you were a good courtesan if you could play music, recite poetry, had a good alcohol tolerance, and could play board games well. Didn't mean they didn't also offer intercourse as a service, just that hiring someone to be there for you is in no way new

[@kaylawelch8017]

I'm not sure how I stumbled onto this channel but my only regret is it didn't happen two weeks ago when the emotional support demon was still available!

[@goldsea1678]

With the cook I think it is impressive how he can take simple ingredients and make them taste like they aren’t. To me that just proves the quality of that chef.

[@OleanderStarshine]

My kids decided they needed an emotional support demon so they got their money together and got one to share. I am so proud 😂😂😂

[@MDSpencersLs]

That’s so wholesome

[@OleanderStarshine]

@@MDSpencersLs thanks so much for the reply, they're over the moon. We love him in our household, though I do not show every video to the younger ones. We wanted to support him for a while and this seemed perfect to the youngsters and I couldn't be more proud

[@foxinabox5103]

I love it!!

[@viktoria-freyjaasmr]

1:06 - I put cat toys in my girlfriend's shoes but let her think it's the cat. 2:00 - I found out that my boyfriend of two years is married and has kids.I'm showing myself to his family tomorrow at church. 4:01 - Tomorrow, I'm going to ruin his life. 9:59 - My husband told another woman that he loved her... 11:45 - I hired a male ___ worker for two hours just to hug me and hold me and I gave him flashcards of what to say to me. 14:07 - I'm a chef and I've been living a lie about the quality and authenticity of my food. 17:22 - I think my dad might have killed someone when I was a kid. 19:00 My son (22) admitted that he forced himself on someone at a party and my wife is covering for him. 20:58 - I am secretely my boyfriend's live stream viewers. 21:49 - My wife sleeps like a butthole. 23:46 - I installed a camera in the living room and caught my husband making out with the babysitter. 27:15 - My wife gave me Chlamydia. 28:33 - My brother's flight got delayed 30 minutes and I'm terrified to tell my wife. 31:18 - I had a one night stand and she got pregnant. 33:15 - I left my wife because I'm sick of everything needing to match her aesthetic. 38:58 - My late boyfriend's memorial picture that his family posts whenever they talk about him was his reaction to my boobs. 39:57 - Sent an adult toy in order to stop getting junk mail from family.

[@zhenya1173]

true hero

[@sleepy.timaeus.arts.]

thank you for this!

[@DeadLkeMe]

Thank you!

[@tumblingartist]

Thank you!!

[@Sillyfrog6205]

Because of my mental illnesses I find it very difficult for me to take care of myself, and especially shower, so every click video that starts with "you smell amazing today" just makes my day a little bit better :]

[@kissit012]

Hopefully inspires you to bathe, not be delusional. Get better

[@StarKoSuru]

I love it when he says that too! When i have low days and cant shower it makes me feel good, bc im always self conscious of how i smell even when i shower. You're doing great!

[@LakinMae5]

If you can’t take a shower, washing your hands, face, hair in the sink or even a bath as a way to take care of yourself with less effort. Wear perfume/deodorant/cologne to help with the smells. Style your hair in a braid/ponytail/pigtail to help it look nice. Hope this helps, a little can go a long way.

[@JoylessBurrito]

Was about to say that I hope you do better, but then I noticed how old this was, so instead I'll say I hope you're doing better now, and if you're not, then I hope you do better soon.

[@orion_in_the_stars]

As someone who has bipolar it hurt to see that story of the abusive wife include the fact that she had BPD. Bipolar and BPD are different diagnoses but they are both demonized in similar ways. When i first got my diagnosis, i had so many people treat me differently or share their stories of abusive people with bipolar and it reaIIy made me feel horribly about myself. I'm constantly paranoid about being accidentaly abusive to my partners or doing something horrible during a manic episode even though I'm always sure to be compIeteIy transparent about my feelings and work to have good communication. I just want everyone to remember that we're just people. To everyone reading this, i hope you have a good day and remember that disorders do not make you a bad person. No matter what they are.

[@WoodlandT]

While people with mental illnesses can certainly be hurtful and even abusive to people in their lives, more so with some diagnoses than others, it is far more common for the person suffering with a mental illness to be on the receiving end of the abuse. For myriad reasons we are the ones at a much higher risk of being the victims

[@remi6656]

I have BPD, I get told I'm constantly and will always be abusive. I'm really trying to go into a career path where I can protect children from going through what I went through to developing BPD in the first place, so it's really heartbreaking constantly seeing the stigma relating to BPD, NPD, HPD, e.c.t

[@stonecake313]

@@remi6656 yah it sucks, but tbh there’s a reason BPD has a stigma. I’ve struggled with BPD myself for over a decade and have ppl in my family with it as well. It really warps our minds and makes it difficult to objectively see the harm we cause others. Not always of course, but there’s a reason why there are so many support groups and books for the family/friends of ppl suffering with BPD. It’s not an easy thing to be around

[@aromaladyellie]

He might have mentioned it because she uses her diagnosis as a scapegoat for her abuse. My friend's mom blames her abusive behaviour on the fact she has PTSD. Redditor also says he thinks she's a narcissist, and narcissim and BPD are a disaster of a combination.

[@SaintoftheHonest]

With the guy cheating with the 17YO babysitter, I have no sympathy for him whatsoever. Even if additional sexual partners IS the only solution here, you and your relationship partner need to discuss this and establish your new rules first - TOGETHER.

[@nevaehhamilton3493]

The babysitter didn't even consent.

[@taiganb3463]

​@@nevaehhamilton3493apparently the babysitter was 'iniatating' 💀

[@ziradraws9029]

​@@nevaehhamilton3493why cuz she was 17? I knew what I was doing when I planned a pregnancy and gave birth at 17 the state laws of consent for me are 16 and the partner can be 5 years older so (legally a 16 year could do the do legally with a 21 year old). seems like theres no context to say that.

[@nevaehhamilton3493]

@@ziradraws9029 17 is still the age of minority

[@ziradraws9029]

@@nevaehhamilton3493 and the still can consent to do the do

[@t.g1917]

"Merry new year and happy Christmas" -click,2022

[@brentgroen3204]

I thought of a way of making "spill the tea" more clear in some ways; 1). Black tea: information that is for or could be used for blackmail 2). Gray tea: bad information but not THAT bad. 3). Green tea: plain information, not specificly bad or good. 4). Fruity tea: good wholome information Please give me critisism and your own ideas.

[@spectscrawlz_]

I didn't know Gray tea existed until i read this comment very cool 10/10, also very good tea analogy :0

[@brentgroen3204]

@@spectscrawlz_ 😸

[@ricebeansrockroll882]

Red tea: I will go to hell just to drag this person with me

[@ricebeansrockroll882]

@@spectscrawlz_ i don't think it does, only earl grey.

[@brentgroen3204]

@@ricebeansrockroll882 omg yes

[@annap2523]

If I had a son I wouldn't defend him if he did this. This is very serious. It's not like he behaved inappropriately and cringy, he actually forced himself on her. I have a daughter and I wouldn't defend her if she did something equally terrible. To me covering for someone who does a crime isn't a gesture of love actually. It's not about loving them, it's about yourself. Those people might justify it as "They don't want their child to hurt" but ultimately I think they care more about that they will be hurt themselves.

[@hetagirlgamer5296]

Deprogramming really is difficult. I still catch myself sitting there going "You're hurting your family." because, surprise, I have a girlfriend (I'm a woman). I *still* feel like something bad is going to happen when I laugh or smile for too long. I *still* look over my shoulder like someone's going to snatch a purchase out of my hand when I'm in the store buying little gifts for my girlfriend (context being when I tried to sneak a "friend" gift necklace for my gf at the age of 17, paid for with my own cash, it was snatched and tossed because it "makes you look gay"; I never got that $25 back). I stumble over my words all the time because I always hid our real dates as "playdates" (parents called friend visits that all the way into highschool and the word stuck, and whenever I accidentally called anything a date it was *treated* as a date no matter who it was with; I was told off a lot for "dating" women because of those slips); things got so bad with that I trained myself to call everything a playdate so I wouldn't be lectured for hours on end. The only solace I really have rn is the knowledge that, if there is a hell, either I'll be upstairs watching my dad burn for all he put me through, or I'll burn knowing he's right there with me (only reason I don't add mom is because I know her past; she was literally conditioned to avoid help for mental issues, obey my dad (who helped her get away from a nasty grandmom who also abused her, so he *has* to be the hero to her because of it), and follow *dad's* version of the bible, so I can't blame her for being a brainwashed victim with the fear of damnation ingrained in her for decades).

[@sarascarpati887]

I'm sorry... Hope you are in a better place now

[@rozmarinideas5340]

There is no hell. You are living in one already because of what he has done to you. I hope you are getting help and that life will be better in the future. I even hope that your father changes, as unlikely as that may be. Good luck. Strongth 💪.

[@mygrandmasfavoriteflower]

It is so much better seeing the Click read these than a bot over Subway Surfer gameplay

[@witchypoo7353]

For me I would personally prefer to eat comforting “poor people” food than something expensive. I love the feeling of fixing a “humble” meal that I’ve never had before & yet feel something similar to nostalgia, especially with old recipes. I love knowing that there are tired parents who are struggling to feed their children but they put something in their babies’s plates that feels warm, comforting, & loving. Then those babies grow up & share these meals with their own babies. I think I love it because not only is it a sweet & simple reminder of the best parts of humanity, but it also reminds me of my dad who is that comfort for me & gave me my love for cooking. I appreciate that even though I may not have him forever I have his company for the moment & his recipes & memories for the rest of my life

[@laurainathunderstorm]

My family isn't poor (although we've struggled at times) but my dad is a farm boy who grew up with little and let me tell you nothing feels better than him working his magic with rice, milk, flour and a few eggs! He's also on a personal quest to replicate as many of his mom's recipes as he can before he forgets them (he already classifies as a senior citizen) and teaching them to me! We have a lot of fun when I go visit him every other weekend and cooking with him has always been a blast.

[@ferretqueen2908]

My mom is an awesome cook, the first thing she taught me: it doesn't have to be fancy or expensive to be good.

[@LoosieGoosie42]

My toxic trait is enjoying reading stranger confessions online

[@fancydeer]

I feel for the husband who is afraid of his abusive wife. I hope he successfully divorces his wife and gets custody of his kids.

[@jeshirekitenkatt1212]

in Many places, a 34 y/o romanitcally persuing/interacting with a 17 year old is a felony for a reason. no amount of lack of affection from ur wife justifies nor should amount to becoming a straight up predator. even if it were 'technically' legal where i lived i'd leave his ass. like hell no, goodbye. do not pass go, do not collect your wife and child, go Directly to jail.

[@bslizardette4669]

As someone who used to stream, I am glad to hear the gf being the bf's audience. I know the excitement of seeing new people enter the stream, but I also ended up quitting because I burnt out because of the frequent feeling of rejection. The only person who ever regularly showed up for my streams was a friend and when he couldn't watch, I would see people come and go. I started to only play Minecraft because then I would have some interaction because the game is so popular, but streaming made me hate that game and after I quit streaming, I didn't open it for over a year. Streaming can be so special when it goes right. And the fact that the gf will probably stay on for the entirety of his stream must be so encouraging for him!

[@missharry5727]

"Professional cuddlers" is simultaneously the sweetest idea and the most Californian idea ever.

[@BastrdGod]

Ok, weirdly enough, the solution for an aggressive cuddler/bed hog is a smaller bed. My gf does all the same bed stuff, I even occasionally find her butt up by the pillows.... I dont know how it happens, but yes, it happens. So at some point we were in a van, and the bed I made was only 40 inches wide. I know 20 inches sounds like plenty of space, but ya realize real quick there isnt much room for flailing around and starfishing in less than 2 feet. After just a couple weeks her subconscious adjusted to the smaller space and now even on a queen bed she stays on her side and we both sleep more comfortably.

[@forgerofsouls9126]

That story of the husband being abused by his wife hit home close as mother is abusive. Basically everything he described there is how my mom acts. Thankfully, she is not as bad as his wife, otherwise I'd not have been able to have the life I currently have. But, still, I am so glad that I managed to move out from my mom's home after being medically discharged from the us army and being unable to find employment before my disability finally went through. Even managed to live my life the way I want to, to openly be who I am and not this robot son that does whatever she demands. And, like him, I did not even realize what was happening till someone pointed out that it sounded like my mother was abusive. Talked with groups and others that survived abuse, so, yeah, I know now full well what was happening. What makes it worse is my mom did get therapy long time ago...but...for some odd reason, the therapist got it stuck in my mom's head that she is the victim in everything. The time she choked me? She's the victim. The time she threatened me with a knife? She's the victim. That is her mindset. Again, so glad I managed to move out and get some distance between us.

[@gabrielleisabellawilinski8951]

People who go to therapy but somehow come back with twisted thinking or suggestions for their life makes me wonder if a) they are horrible listeners and took what was said to them the wrong way/the way it fits their view of reality or b) there is no qualified therapist that they were visiting and just says so because it is harder to argue with someone who is not there and has some weight to their advise for being a supposed therapist.

[@katharineeavan9705]

@@gabrielleisabellawilinski8951 I think it's also likely a little of b) their version of events is the only one the therapist has to go off and therapists are not infallible mind readers, so the therapist advises them according to the "facts" they're presented with, which is really all that anyone can expect from them. Also, some therapists have biases or are just straight up bad. My mum stopped seeing hers because they kept telling her to just force me to be more responsible and stop leaning on her when I was literally a teenager recovering from emotional abuse and post natal depression already doing my best. I didn't tell her to, she just felt the therapist wasn't listening to what she was actually struggling with and was making judgemental assumptions rather than helping her in any way. A friend of mine had a therapist refuse to treat her unless she came in with her parents for a family session. As if she could somehow force her parents to attend with her.

[@gravyz2cute4u]

Some people heavily embellish their side of the story (or tell a delusional version of it) or twist what the therapist's advice was to make it sound like what they really want to hear. Some people in my family are like this - not so much abusive, more-so just telling a really inaccurate version of events, then somehow twist whatever the other person said to sound like they agreed/validated their opinion, despite the other person completely disagreeing with them. They hear what they want to hear and nobody is going to get between them and their version of the "truth" regardless of logic.

[@forgerofsouls9126]

@@gravyz2cute4u Sad but true, sorry to hear you have people like that in your family as well. Katharine Eavan, sorry to hear you had it rough so young. Hope you are doing much better by now.