Cursed Christian CG Movie Kind of Rules

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It's the infamous Joshua and the Promised Land: A CG anthropomorphic animal movie about the Exodus from Egypt. The characters are way too nude, the morals are all off... and yet. And yet.
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Timecodes:
00:00 Movie Intro
02:26 Recap
37:11 Review
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Aspen
Bill Garrett
Brent Bartlett
Chaotic Quakka
Chocolate Jesus
Douglas Steingraber 2
Fat Houdini
Jaderian
Jason Haase
Jeremy Buck
John E.
John newman
Kori Gailliot
Lord Nibbles Dankworth IX
Mike
Nick Muggio
Philip Doherty
Purple_Pug_2013
Robi Groves
Samandme59
Sean Hamill
Vermont1777
Squeaky Fish 2
Al Sweigart
Andrew
Andy is ducking around
April Washburn
Azku
Ben Eiynk
Bert Whitehead
Brandon
Brian McKemey
Buddmeister2.0
Cartoon Fan
Ceilidh
Chantale
Cindarella Santonen
Connla "Chicken Maximus" Lyons
Darren McHaffie
Darth_Rondoudou
Dave Kircher
Dave Smith
Daylin
Dreffed
FalcorTheGinger
Farron Sutton
Faye The Succubus
Flash prez Bluewolf
Geeeee (NOT FOR VIDEOS)
Henry Curtis
Jan Bojarp
Jason Runcie
jaxjanjy
jedidragonwarriorqueen
Jim Lathrop
Jo Ro
John Fry
Kevin Levites
King Skippus
Laker Sparks
Lizzy Gayle
Lulidine
Matthew Green
Mattus McChicken Nuggetus
Mordlex 200
Mr Smeeth
NotMyselfThisTime
ohsosmooth
Paul McGinty
paul mueller
PaulM
Peter Kyrouac
PJ Lesbirel
Quique León
Ralti
razbitom
Richard Jackson
RileyTheTortoise
Rosyna Keller
RPGMP3
Sarah Chavis
Sean
Siliconself
Simping on Emma Thorne
SIRIUSLY
SquidSuperHunk
Tank Lowe
Tax Man
The Shropshire Lad
ThmsR
Thomas V Lohmeier
Valyrie
VinceWasSu
WeirdyBeardy
Will Crouch
Willow the Wendigo
Wrongtown

[@EmmaThorneVideos]

Use my code EMMATHORNE to get $5 off your delicious, high protein Magic Spoon cereal by clicking this link: sponsr.is/magicspoon_emmathorne_0624

[@antonioriddley9347]

URAQT

[@mbrando4403]

is this masterpiece on KZbin?

[@nathanhails5901]

@@mbrando4403 Lol Uninformed hero American tossing in

[@the-nick-of-time]

Remember kids! The moral of the story is that if your parents are being angry or abusive, it's your fault for not being a good enough Christian! If you just learn to smile with the proper God-given grace, it'll fix all your parents' problems and they'll love you again!

[@ilovefunnyamv2nd]

smile, but don't say anything, the age old "Children are meant to be seen and not heard"

[@fostena]

Fuck, I'm afraid that you nailed the moral of the story, my guy.

[@Coco20480]

Thank you for that quick summary ❤

[@DeveloperChris]

@@ilovefunnyamv2nd Children and woman. 1 Corinthians 14:34-35

[@Broken_robot1986]

It sucks seeing the brainwash Christian propaganda at my sister's house, teaching the weirdest stories to my nephew and nieces.

[@cargo_vroom9729]

Wait wait wait....they basically gave the mother lion a mane to indicate she's....female?

[@AnotherCraig]

It's like the movie Barnyard all over again 😋

[@wilhelmschmidt7240]

Well, maybe it's a progressive family 😂

[@MarkSiefert]

To be fair there are some maned lionesses.

[@Hiidontknowwutimdoing]

Transgender lion

[@lordedmundblackadder9321]

we stan a trans queen

[@lemonflavouredquark]

Moral: be a good child and your parents will get along. If they divorce it’s your fault for not being Christian enough.

[@MarkSiefert]

It’s a common theme in Christian movies, only it usually an abused wife and or child being beaten because they didn’t love Gawd enough.

[@Sauvva_]

it isnt hard to believe that your enemies sacrifiy children to their gods, when the founder of your religion almost sacrified his own son

[@loganharvill5394]

Joshua is like 8 years old and got transported into the body of arguably the most genocidal monster in the bible. And that's saying something

[@matissimoj1190]

Kids are awful

[@jessdonovan9772]

Hate to nit pick, but 2nd at best. God beats out everyone else by quite a ways...

[@vforwombat9915]

@@jessdonovan9772 he drowned every single kitten in the world because he was angry at people. that's like kicking the neighbor's dog in order to get him to mow his lawn.

[@raptorcrasherinc.9823]

God is the most genocidal monster in any myth, not just the bible.

[@lori3282]

​@@vforwombat9915i heard he let 2 live so they repopulate so he can do it again

[@marlyd]

If you don't understand how your son having a dream about exodus is basically the solution to any relationship issue, there is no hope for you.

[@Commander_Appo]

In the words of the great leader Monkey Moses: “No…. *nooooooooooo!*”

[@Commander_Appo]

@@gordonbrinkmann definitely no

[@sergbastian5]

I was gonna like this comment but it's got the magical number of likes already

[@2001herne]

For anyone curious, the "Powering up sound effect" at <a href="#" class="seekto" data-time="644">10:44</a> is from a game called "Full Tilt! Pinball". The "space cadet" table that this sound is used on was bundled with windows XP at one point as a sort of 'free trial' kinda thing.

[@eDoc2020]

I was thinking it sounded a lot like Space Cadet pinball but I had a hard time believing somebody would steal the sound for a movie.

[@compzac]

@@eDoc2020 Oh its not a lot like. I have the full tilt game and the executable for space cadet so i can have them after XP. after hearing that sound and going hey... hold on thats space cadet. i went and fired up the exe and literally its exact the only thing you dont hear is the ball loading sound. otherwise yep the lions copied space cadet. probably because they were able to just hold a dictaphone near the computer speaker and call it a day.

[@eDoc2020]

@@compzac I agree it _is_ the same sound but that doesn't mean the movie stole it from pinball. I think it's more likely that the sound effect was created by a third party which licensed it to both users.

[@kidwolf0015]

@@eDoc2020 I'm thinking this is the origin too as its WAAY to quiet (and oddly high quality?) to be from the game directly. Anybody who's played Space Cadet would know that the original .wav is somewhat awkwardly compressed and *ABSOULTELY BLASTED TO THE POINT OF OVERRIDING THE BACKGROUND MUSIC* from whatever innocent sound system (regardless of its capabilities) has to endure it! ....So, uh after listening to the .WAV in Windows 10... It seems like modern audio devices have figured out how to make it not sound completely crunchy, but I'm not sure if that explains why it sounds so smooth in such a cheap, ancient movie? What audio hardware was this guy using?!? Or it is just that the game's sound mixing messes it up really badly in-game? I've not tryed listening to the .WAV in my kinda janky Windows 3.1 Dosbox build yet.... so maybe it's just really cringe coding that's the culprit?

[@socalodeas]

"God they are SO nude," yeah that's going to stick with me for a bit.

[@frankshailes3205]

And no tails!

[@Gravelgratious]

Important fact-A group of walruses can be called a Huddle, Pod, or Herd.

[@petercoo9177]

Goo-goo-ga-joob!

[@Nagoragama]

I've watched this several times now on several "bad movie" streams and every time I think about how Joshua is now like a 50-year old man trapped in a child body after living a horrifying life experiencing war and the hardships of living in ancient times. Weirdly horrifying when you think about the implications of the plot.

[@nightshade7240]

It always makes me think of Narnia. They live all that time as adults and then they have to go back to being children with all the experiences of adulthood which they can't act on. No wonder Edmund was always pissed off.

[@michaeleberly7351]

Why worry if the animation is creepy when the underlying story is creepy as well. When you are embedding latent trauma into your children as a matter or course, then why worry if you anything you do just layers on some more.

[@RealDanLivesay]

Cant believe they showed the dad masticating

[@socalodeas]

Not just masticating, masticating furiously!!

[@YourQueerGreatAuntie]

@@socalodeas with off-putting sound-effects!

[@valolafson6035]

Now I get why mom lion is mad at him.

[@micheal49]

@@socalodeas If he keeps that up, God will castigate him!

[@alansmith2426]

Thank heaven it was just mastiCATing.

[@bsacco64]

NO WAY the sound effect at <a href="#" class="seekto" data-time="640">10:40</a> is the startup sound of the Space Cadet pinball game in Windows XP

[@thomasdjonesn]

I'm certain you're right about that. Unmistakable.

[@Martin-xx4ip]

It most certainly was. I did a double take when I heard it.

[@Moxx3]

Sweaty Emma has returned - I repeat: sweaty Emma has returned. This is not a drill.

[@megadev3727]

Summer weather sucks amirite

[@PaulaBean]

Humans have many sweat cells, which is a great advantage above other savannah animals, who drop dead from exhaustion and overheating after running a few miles. Humans can run for hours and fatigue out their prey.

[@Iindaclaire]

@@megadev3727 it's especially bad here, glad it's winter rn

[@KristiChan1]

@@PaulaBean Praise be us sweaty bipedal primates!

[@4ozscoop]

I'm here for the sweat. Don't judge me.

[@CodeNameX001]

So many people try to capture campiness without understanding: "Camp" comes from honesty. The creator of "Joshua and the Promised Land" made his film with the most honest intentions, and THIS is what we ended up with. THIS is camp.

[@xXKisskerXx]

@<a href="#" class="seekto" data-time="645">10:45</a> I know that sound effect. It is from the Pinball game that was on Windows95 "Microsoft 3D Pinball: Space Cadet" it is the start up sound, a little distorted and cut short. I know it SO WELL from so many years of playing.

[@AmyJohnson-uc1fb]

That was exactly what I thought it was too. I spent way too much time playing that game ☺️

[@WarriorDan]

I knew I wasn't the only one who recognized this! lol old times...

[@thearousedeunuch]

And Windows XP.

[@valolafson6035]

Yes! That's what it was. It was jarring.

[@Matthew-id8qs]

This just unlocked a memory for me.

[@joshmapes4311]

Does this remind anyone of that episode of TNG, The Inner Light, where Picard is scanned by a probe in space and he hallucinates an entire lifetime while his crew are like “Ahhh!”, and then he wakes up with a lifetime of memories- AND the skill to play that badass flute that the probe had inside it?

[@jamesrule1338]

It does now.

[@cargo_vroom9729]

It amazes me how seriously the idiea that the purpose of hardship is to train you to endure hardship is taken in philosophy/religion. It's like saying the purpose of wearing a hat is to get you used to wearing hats. Ok, but what are hats for?

[@Not_An_EV]

_To get you used to wearing hats!_

[@cargo_vroom9729]

@@Not_An_EV *But WHY are hats?*

[@AlexiusScholius]

​@@cargo_vroom9729 Just as anything else in Abrahamic logic and philosophy, including the Universe itself, hats were created for the glory of the LORD. The fact they can cover heads and shield them from cold/rain/snow is just a nice bonus and it is completely irrelevant. Disclaimer: In Abrahamic logic and philosophy, not mine.

[@cargo_vroom9729]

@@AlexiusScholius I think you may have nailed it. But of course, why does the LORD need or want glory? It's yet another concept that makes more sense when Yahweh was a tribal god against other tribal gods. Reflecting g rivalry between peoples. When he is the sole omnipotent god of the universe it just looks pointlessly narcissistic. Because it's not really a question of being deserving of praise, but of what kind of person demands constant praise.

[@AlexiusScholius]

@@cargo_vroom9729 Thank you. And I agree with every of your words here.

[@joshmapes4311]

Speaking as a Joshua, I can attest to having had the exact same experience as fictional CG Lion Joshua. It’s a rite of passage for each member of the Joshua community. It’s wonderful to be interchangeable with other Joshua’s. “Josh seems like the kind of kid that would lick anything”. - yeah. Also 100% the case. (Thank you for making this, it was fun).

[@deathforefox]

As a fellow Josh I came to make this same comment

[@joshmapes4311]

@@deathforefox Highlander tried to teach us there can be only one. Fools. We are legion.

[@yeeyeeyeeye]

Do all the other Joshes fight each other? Like the Josh fight meme?

[@joshmapes4311]

@@yeeyeeyeeye That IS the narrative we have established for public consumption. I have no further comment on the matter.

[@davidchapman356]

Joshua is the same name, originally, as Jesus (A.K.A. Yeshua ) so you're presumably 100% interchangeable with that dude as well. Quite a thought. Hope you don't wind up having all his experiences too.

[@bastiknolle5155]

An unusual fact about bees is that they can actually get drunk! Sometimes bees consume fermented fruit and thus ingest alcohol. This can lead to them becoming intoxicated and, similar to humans, stumbling around uncoordinatedly. Drunk bees are not allowed back into the hive until they have sobered up, as the guard bees ensure that only sober bees are allowed to fly in.

[@morganmatlock5467]

My life is better having learned this.

[@travistolbert9796]

This is also why bees are more aggressive at the end of the summer. That's when all the fruit falls off the trees and starts to ferment, and so they get a lil drunk and rowdy.

[@brackencloud]

i dont know why, but this made me think of an alcoholic bee trying to sneak past the guards every day. Like, it knows its against the rules, but it likes alcohol, and wants to sleep comfortably

[@paulamcgovern6135]

I don't know if Emma reads all of her comments but I really hope she sees this one!!

[@walteringle2258]

I think I may have seen this film when it was still in production. If I'm right, the battle scene was originally created as a student project for a grade. It was something he tinkered with on a regular basis as different software was coming out. One thing he couldn't get was a system to run the newest stuff on. He was already doing manual graphic design, but he knew those systems for cgi and digital graphic design. He had been combing through liquidation sales looking for higher end rigs on the cheap, and had a server farm for his cg. There was a church looking for something to invest in, and they decided to pull a "Plan 9 From Outer Space" "scam" for funding to start their business. There was legal action, but the church eventually got its product (IIRC the /legal action/ took 4 short years) and actually had to front MORE money to finish it. He was NOT found in default of the contract, and when they requested the seizure of assets (including his rigs) he legally still had a month, and an expected monthly support payment for the project. During discovery it was found that the church had some money problems and the litigation was initiated as a way to avoid that last bit of the contract. Some of the names are aliases, for obvious reasons. Chris was a late addition, a sort of post insertion to thumb his nose at the whole debacle. There's a reason that "chris" is a magical faerie angel. This all went down in the 90s, but even after he handed the movie over to the church, they were in receivership for a few years and couldn't publish it or lease it, etc. The church had essentially dissolved.

[@walteringle2258]

It is really hard to track down legally. I think I was the one who suggested the textures on the Jericho walls because the ones he originally had looked like literal mounds of feces. They ended up being used for some of the mounds in the background. It started as "Mr. Lion v The Church" then it was his LLC as he signed the contract over, then an alphabet soup of federal agencies started poking into the church's finances because they were funneling money to white nationalist groups that were running guns. Whew, it was a really thick soup. I was actually interviewed for the legal stuff. Now that I think about it was probably a deposition, statement of uncontested fact, whatever they are.. Amazing what you forget from 30 years ago. My side hustle was legal research, I couldn't remember why I stopped until now. All the people who were researching stuff were looking for cases I was attached to, so i had to bow out so many times I lost my contacts.

[@FowlsNest]

Saberspark made this movie an instant cult classic for me. I hope you love it as much as I do

[@blehbleh8552]

Same here XD

[@geektrash180]

yup! also the reimagined animation in amazing!

[@ack42]

Absolutely same, this is my favorite bad movie now lmao

[@skippermatt7939]

No! Noooooo!

[@SaiyaSounds]

Was gonna say, I'm not sure if Saber and Emma run in any of the same circles, but I'm curious if he's seen this vid yet!

[@lunavaughn9313]

Hmm yes fantastic video. Unfortunately I have dispatched an unspecified crustacean to your location

[@ericdere]

Every one knows pyramids were really made by aliens _(cough)_

[@ianbabineau5340]

Watch Spirit Science history of the world sometime. Spoilers- Jews were not only from outer space but also from the future. So it could be ALIEN JEWS who built the pyramids.

[@micheal49]

To store grain.

[@joseph96345]

Jewish aliens?

[@eDoc2020]

Space lasers come from space (duh) and aliens come from space, so by false logic all Jews are space aliens.

[@YourQueerGreatAuntie]

Bees are totally awesome. I used to have a giant German Shepherd, and one of the funniest things I've ever seen is him running down the garden, tail between his legs, pursued by a single bee. Poor old sod, he was scared of everything!

[@Tera_B_Twilight]

As someone who has been pursued twice in her life by a single bee (different bees each time, not pursued by the same bee twice) I agree with your dog.

[@thirstfast1025]

Gold is chemically inert. So, on the one hand it has absolutely no nutritional value, but on the other hand it's perfectly edible.

[@jankodes197]

Can't you get heavy metal poisoning from gold?

[@desperadox7565]

But this was *evil* gold.😎

[@thirstfast1025]

@@jankodes197 No, it's chemically inert, which means none of your metabolic processes has any effect on it. Your body doesn't uptake anything from it, and you literally pass it as shiny poop. Hence the popularity of adding gold leaf to regular food to be able to charge 1000x more for it, despite the fact that gold leaf is so thin you're only eating a few cents worth of it. Heavy metal poisoning comes from metals like lead or mercury.

[@thirstfast1025]

@@desperadox7565 I can't argue that.

[@thirstfast1025]

@@jankodes197 Not sure why my original response to your comment wasn't permanent. But no, you cannot get heavy metal poisoning from gold. It's chemically inert, which means your body's metabolic processes won't do anything to it, you'll simply pass it. Unless you eat large quantities of it, then you could run into bowel obstruction issues, as it _is_ incredibly dense, so try not to eat too many thousands of dollars worth of it. Heavy metal poisoning comes from metals like lead or mercury.

[@DogMyCats]

I really think the "moral lesson" was something along the lines of: "your problems aren't so bad, look at how tough Exodus was!"

[@ServantofBaal]

I haven't said it at all since I started watching Emma Thorne content, but I love how endearing the outro is

[@sammysewsthat]

I freaking love the "this is a sponsored video" part at the beginning too❤

[@BlackCover95]

<a href="#" class="seekto" data-time="644">10:44</a> Isn’t that the startup noise for that pinball game every Microsoft computer had?

[@skleedleplotchnu3713]

how they managed to wander around for 40 years traveling about 650 kilometers. That's like 9 miles per year.

[@wraitholme]

Without leaving archeological traces behind, as well. Crazy.

[@DavidSmith-vr1nb]

They had to wait for a "generation" to pass away, because "God" was offended by their moaning. Everyone over 18, including Moses (but excepting Joshua, maybe he was young enough) had to leave life behind before they were allowed to finish what should have been a two week journey. I'm not saying any of this is correct, but it is the claim.

[@klutterkicker]

God teleported them to the Lands Between.

[@Alyse_bell]

@@klutterkickerthey learnt to apparate

[@thirstfast1025]

<a href="#" class="seekto" data-time="643">10:43</a> that "powering up" sound is ripped from that _"Space Cadet"_ pinball game that used to come on Windows

[@concord327]

That's what it is!! I knew that sounded familiar!

[@purriouscat]

Personally I'm waiting for the Gnostic remake where Joshua learns about the horrors of the demiurge while a jaunty tune plays in the background.

[@Yolkiooo]

God is like a mean girlfriend who makes you wait for her even though she's ready

[@CodeNameX001]

God wants to go out for dinner, but says she doesn't care where you go and wants YOU to pick, but it's secretly a test and and you BETTER not pick the wrong restaurant!!

[@2ndperky]

I can't remember exactly who it was, it might of been Emma, but the commandments almost sound like rules set by a controlling toxic boyfriend

[@Coco20480]

Y'all got no chill 😂😂😂😂😂 true tho

[@Coco20480]

Honestly God is like a violent boyfriend

[@MGTOWforthewin]

​@CodeNameX001 What?...no Red Lobster 🦞 Golden Corral or Cheesecake Factory?... That's it!!..gtfo my car, we're DONE!! (Tires squealing as I hit the gas and leave! 😂)

[@nonna_sof5889]

<a href="#" class="seekto" data-time="1837">30:37</a> Note that at the time of the supposed Exodus Egypt controlled Canaan, so they fled Egypt to a different part of Egypt.

[@nathanyou1899]

You said this film was weird and you weren't Lion.

[@whoeverofhowevermany]

This is what happens when you make psychedelic art without taking drugs. End prohibition!

[@zogar8526]

It truly is amazing how it just so happened that all the people the isaelits hated, or who had land they wanted, just so happened to be irredeambly evil. To the point of deserving genocide. Truly amazing how that worked out.

[@James44789]

Totally nailed it…awfully convenient…🧐

[@Rosyna]

The myth that Jewish slaves built the pyramids and Ramses II was pharaoh during Exodus came from Cecil B. DeMille’s Ten Commandments (both 1923 and 1956 editions of the movie)

[@RichWoods23]

A bizarre choice by the screenwriter, given that Ramesses' tomb was famously discovered in the Valley of the Kings in 1881. Just in case anyone is not aware of the fact, there is a noticeable lack of pyramids in that valley.

[@Rosyna]

@@RichWoods23 I think that’s why he chose Ramesses II, as his mummified body was discovered the same year DeMille was born, so the news would have been all the rage when he was a kid. It’s much like how animators will put the favorite dinosaurs they had as kids into tv shows and movies today.

[@RichWoods23]

​@@Rosyna When I was a child my favourite dinosaur was the dimetrodon, until I learned that it wasn't a dinosaur. Very disappointing. But I've been much happier since with my second choice of ankylosaurs.

[@1Thunderfire]

Not that the average Egyptian in those times was much better off than a slave anyway. :|

[@dkkinh]

Khajit wishes you well.

[@DaveLH]

Watching this, it looks to me like this film was likely made using Animation: Master, which uses "spline" modeling, rather than polygon-based modeling like Maya, Blender, and most other CGI software. I myself dabbled a bit in Animation: Master several eons ago, as well as seen other full-length films made with it, and this has that same "look". Update Near the End: I agree with Emma that this was obviously a labor of love, which is its saving grace. And considering that it WAS done by a single person, it is fairly good. And I do think the weirdness of the style of the characters and other assets is a function of this having been done in (probably) Animation: Master, whose "spline"-based approach is easy for hobbyists, but is ultimately limited, compared to a more conventional and powerful 3D CGI application like Blender.

[@wilhelmschmidt7240]

<a href="#" class="seekto" data-time="940">15:40</a> "Enjoy yourself" is such a strange thing to say in this situation....

[@jakerose2985]

Honestly I was disappointed last time because there was no cork board. Today... Finally I gaze upon it. My life is now complete.

[@PassingThePeriphery]

Man, aren’t bees just cool as hell? 🐝

[@ericdere]

The CGI reminds me of the Dire Straits video "Money for Nothing"

[@davidioanhedges]

Just 20 years later, so they are no longer cutting edge, but so far behind the cutting edge, they are not even using recycled PC level graphics ...

[@jamesrule1338]

Would that music video be better or worse with naked looking lions? (Huh. That's not a question I've asked before.)

[@CraigJudd]

We gotta move these CGI lions We gotta move these colour horsiiiiiiieeees!

[@ChristopherSadlowski]

This is giving heavily modded Sims 2 fan video vibes. I used to love watching those as a high school kid. Or was I in college...? ::typing:: 2004!? Oh my god I was in college. Wait...that was 20 years ago!? I'm...I need to go lay down and sleep through this existential crisis I'm suddenly in...

[@Commander_Appo]

Well now you gotta watch “The Return of Joshua”

[@TheCow798]

No, no, “Return of the Joshua” is the third movie, the second one is “Jericho Strikes Back,” where young Joshua tragically loses a hand much to mini-Chris’ embarrassment.

[@cedardryad]

The mother lion does have breasts. They're at least small, but no less disturbing. I'm also disturbed by the lack of tails.

[@Tera_B_Twilight]

You say this, but I noticed Chris Eugene Watsit Got-an-incredibly-long-ass-name has a tail. "Every time a bell rings an angel gets its tail." Holy Fuck I've cracked the code! This entire script was ripped from "It's a Wonderful Life" except a kid wishing he was dead was too dark, so they replaced it with "here's a bible story that has, idk - SoMETHING to do with your situation, kid." ...sorry - adhd brain.

[@sleepytime999998]

The gold wouldn't be what kills them. The arsenic that was alloyed with the gold would be what killed them. Or made them very very ill.

[@irishalchemy]

I thought MetaPig was a bat, and I don't know why, it has no wings... I honestly think it was the bow tie.

[@pattheplanter]

I thought it is a pink panther. Not the Pink Panther, obviously.

[@qwertzundefinedapfel3830]

There are two male parents, right? I mean, both lions have manes which only males do, so ...

[@gordonbrinkmann]

What do you call a bee that lives in America? USB.

[@mjjoe76]

If the USA is so great, why did they make a USB?

[@gordonbrinkmann]

@@mjjoe76 😆

[@gordonbrinkmann]

@@mjjoe76 There's always a plan B, just in case.

[@Sableagle]

That advert text, "Magic Spoon is high-protein, keto-friendly, gluten-free. It's grain-free, soy-free, wheat-free, ... " *Why, it could be **_Greased Lightning!_* Go, Greased Lightning, cruising through the heat lap trial! (Greased Lightning! Go, Greased Lightning!) Go, Greased Lightning, burning up the quarter mile! (Greased Lightning! Go, Greased Lightning!) The flavour's real! The chicks'll squeal, for Greased Lightning!

[@idio-syncrasy]

Pigs narrating a jewish story is an interesting take. Appreciate you inside production angles.

[@pattheplanter]

I don't see a pig. I am not sure what I do see.

[@desperadox7565]

@@pattheplanter Same

[@DavidSmith-vr1nb]

​@@pattheplanter The pink/purple thing in the bowtie.

[@thomasdjonesn]

It's ManBearPig.

[@idio-syncrasy]

@@thomasdjonesn The worst kind.

[@arghsonofcliff]

Why no ducks? I don't know why no ducks. All those animals, no ducks.

[@shawnburke3427]

That powering up sound effect made a lot more sense in space cadet pinball.

[@jonathon5075]

Regardless, making a one man/small number of people movie is pretty remarkable. Another movie that was made by 2 people with weird cg is "Dracula's Angel", if you are interested in other low budget cg movies. It's free on KZbin

[@Earthling247]

Any Emma video is worth a watch and a like. Sweaty Emma is certainly no different. Keep up the good work. ✌️❤️

[@punkrockllama]

What it lacks in animation, writing, voice acting and plot it makes up for in passion. It's got heart.

[@philzeo]

Holy butt Emmar, I put this video on and my pride Baphy plush was delivered at the same time!!! What wonderful serendipity!

[@davidponseigo8811]

The water sound effect is more similar to someone taking a leak after drinking a 12 pack of cheap beer.

[@thylacoleonkennedy7]

My immediate thought when you said "Fountain Distribution" was that it was a probability distribution (I'm learning statistics and programming right now, okay? I promise I'm not usually that much of a dork)

[@piotrnowak740]

Bees made hive in doors of my shed. Does that count as a comment about bees?

[@nightshade7240]

"bees are aliens?!" "Well, not all bees."

[@Lost_In_Neverwhere]

Oooooh, this is a fun one. From hilariously bad CGI to very questionable story elements and interpretations of Bible characters, this ... "movie" has it all.

[@mariaquiet6211]

Need a gif of you ominously rising into camera view

[@keegantaylor3291]

That Space Cadet Pinball powering up sound is so nostalgic

[@GhostIntoTheFog]

We need to start some kind of Sweaty Pigs League. During the worst of the heat wave, I was leaving puddles of sweat wherever I sat.

[@sergbastian5]

@<a href="#" class="seekto" data-time="645">10:45</a> "It's already.... Three ducks past bubble, so we better crack on." I noticed the big watch but when you showed how goofy it looks and said this, I laughed for a solid minute 😂😂😂

[@audreyhepburne]

Mickey is a mouse. Donald is a duck. Pluto is a dog. Goofy is a human-like dog? What gives?

[@squeakhawk01]

When Chris tells kid Joshua to enjoy himself that has some pretty interesting implications. After all, Joshua would have been responsible for many, Many deaths. And as a leader in Israel he likely would have been a polygamist like Moses was. So that makes it even funnier when Chris has a talk with Joshua about adultery considering that Joshua would have likely already had multiple wives and concubines at this point.

[@LanceHall]

Neil Breen calls it visionary and groundbreaking

[@beesforbreakfast]

Exposition Meta Pig isn’t useless, it’s a criminally underrated Mogwai b-side probably

[@LilyJaneH]

Emma, this isn’t about this video, but I really want to say thank you. As I’ve been learning to accept myself and deconstructing from my Mormon upbringing, your videos have brought me a lot of comfort and been a bright spot in dark days. Last week I was able to come out as both trans and agnostic to my best friend, who was instantly accepting, and today I was able to take some steps towards presenting as my true self. I don’t know that I would have had the courage to accept myself so fully without your work, so thank you.

[@curiousnerdkitteh]

"The boardroom, if you will." Nice. Also it's fun feeling like we're being called to an official boardroom meeting with Emma to discuss this production. 😆

[@meghaffer]

It's very hot in my corner of the US as I'm watching this and making dinner. So I'm sweating right along with you

[@LucyBean42]

Is this the best? No... NOOOOOOOOOOO!

[@adarkerstormishere]

@<a href="#" class="seekto" data-time="650">10:50</a> That "powering up" sound effect was stolen from a game called 3D Pinball that came pre-installed on pretty much every computer released between 2000 and 2015.

[@eDoc2020]

More like 1999 and 2006 but your point still stands.

[@peregrinef3203]

Sweaty Emma = Swemma?

[@wjpperry1]

Swemma = Swummy

[@Saezimmerman]

Best line from Emma - possible ever - “Maybe making everyone nude was a mistake.”

[@pirn3676]

I appreciate the extra intensity that Sweaty-Emma puts into a show. (Respectfully)

[@johankaewberg8162]

Sweaty Emma is best Emma!

[@steveOCalley]

<a href="#" class="seekto" data-time="591">9:51</a> I don’t usually compliment adverts, but the way Emma speaks and says “to your order!” Is so fetchingly English!

[@spacekid9680]

I immediately thought "no... NOOOOOOOOOOOO!" and Saberspark at the thumbnail

[@yippieskippy2971]

I found a dragonfly in the pond yesterday. 🖖🌈💚

[@gregmark1688]

So the word 'pignarrator', pronounced with a rhythm similar to 'pygmalion', is now a thing for me.

[@5tarSailor]

i'm not used to Emma being that close to the camera this early in the video

[@seansteele6532]

Yeah Moses keeping his arms up was buffing his allies stats. That extra 1d4 to attacks and saving throws really does help!

[@captaindagonsworldoffunstuff]

I think the thing about grouping them in races is because he used copy paste in situations where there is many characters, its more work to mix them up

[@williamredmond8128]

I like that Emma is able to acknowledge the strengths of this film

[@aldebaran4154]

It's the CGI equivalent of Manos, the Hands of Fate. One man's dream to make a movie comes true!

[@cybersandoval]

excellent plot suggestion: make it the kid's character arc--you did fix it

[@urBFFbrighid]

something about bees: I am allergic to bees

[@JohnDoe-ku4jj]

Moses didn't get to enter because when he did the rock slap he also got flippant saying something about "fine I'll go get you water" instead of passing the glory to God. I've been out the faith a few years so I hope I'm not miss remembering

[@ilovefunnyamv2nd]

to be fair, They've been wandering the desert for 40 years. God is keeping them trapped in the desert where there is no water, and they are dependant on his miracles to survive to the next day. Itd be like kidnapping someone and being upset when they don't thank you for giving them food

[@lazykbys]

@@ilovefunnyamv2nd From God's POV, they're a bunch of people who are utterly dependent on his good will for their survival and one of them has the gall to claim credit for his miracle. If I had that level of megalomania, I'd probably be upset with Moses, too.

[@Jean-Luc_Renard]

That "noooooooo!" line carries the whole movie.

[@dennismason3740]

I am a better human being for being made aware of this epic journey.

[@JamiesonLock]

I'm pretty sure the odd mix of animals are there to rep the Twelve Tribes.

[@jordansean18]

Didnt Prince of Egypt do the same thing where they show the pyramids being built by the Hebrews?

[@origamiswami6272]

That movie never showed the pyramids being built by the slaves, if I recall correctly. They did show some large statues being built

[@maxsalmon4980]

Not exactly, but they do imply it was. There's a line in 'There Can Be Miracles' where the singer says, "We were building mountains long before we knew we could," and the camera pans to the pyramids..which are complete at that time, but the implication is that the Hebrew slaves built them. And I suppose in hindsight, the title sequence with them chanting as they build something could be interpreted as that...though the timeframe would be weird in that case, since that happened immediately before Moses was born.

[@origamiswami6272]

​@@maxsalmon4980 ​ I just looked it up to be sure - that line is "we were *moving* mountains", not building. And the camera pans over three giant statues in the background, one of which is broken, and what looks like some rocky terrain with a few tools lying in the foreground. The visuals in the opening never show exactly what they're building (except for when they raise up a giant statue), but there are a few wide shots of the work site, and it doesn't look at all like they're building pyramids. Mostly you can see giant statues and large rectangular buildings. There are also several shots of rows of giant stone pillars with the slaves walking between them, some of which have scaffolding.

[@maxsalmon4980]

@@origamiswami6272 Oof, that'll teach me to rely on my crusty old neurons instead of just loading up the movie. Thank you for the corrections.

[@StarSeeker35]

The Saberspark review is legendary, and he coordinated animators to reanimate several scenes!