Dark Angels vs Orks. Told like a battle report from 1996

This monster took a while to birth, its a bit of a step up but I'm hoping all the crazy special effects add to the effect of a 90’s battle report rather than distracting from it.
I was tempted to add in muzzle flash to each weapon but I think I’d actually prefer to complete the video this year and not have to wait a week for it to render.
Let me know in the comments what you think, any and all constructive criticism is highly appreciated.
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[@robmildon8612]

I don't remember a single one of these 2e reports where the Ork dread wasn't destroyed on Turn 1 by a lascannon. Why any of them bothered with it was a mystery.

[@stalker1983]

You are supposed to run 2 ;)

[@mobiusZero2]

Dice and RNG. A blessing and a Bullocks 😂

[@owenthomas5103]

Made the enemy get lazcanons instead of other stuff to kill Boyz?

[@kharnifex]

Adrian Wood was cursed

[@VorpalDerringer]

It was the lightest model in the army, being made of cardboard, they were trying to save their back!

[@gavinthorpe3340]

This is brilliant! I wish I could add some amazing insight into our tactics but to be honest we fought this so long ago I’d forgotten it until I saw this video 😂 Great work.

[@Kernel_Kertz]

Learning the game in 9th Ed, these batreps are so bizarre, mystifying, and entertaining. Please don't stop releasing them.

[@Yurt_enthusiast7]

I can recommend trying out an older edition if you get the chance. The game was a totally different beast before 8th ed. Way more like a ridiculous war simulator then a competitive game

[@peterclarke7240]

Can confirm. I used to run a guard army in 1st and 2nd edn. It was glorious carnage. If at least half my infantry hadn't been obliterated along with half of my opponent's, we'd both feel cheated. Nothing like the depressing numbers game it's sort of become now. Yes, I'm nostalgic for 1st edition. Leave me be. They were good times... 🤣

[@peterhawthorn-smith5005]

I'm the opposite. Learned with the release of 2nd Ed. Quit when 8th invalidated all the books and expansions. This is golden nostalgia to me. I still have that White Dwarf.

[@euansmith3699]

The use of the period appropriate maps makes the report so clear and fun. I hadn't realized how the targetting priority so limited the Orkz choices.

[@stalker1983]

There was a cheeky way to get around it, Turn your models so that the target you dont want to fire at is outside their 90 degree firearc. The rule only affect the units in the fireaarc :D

[@euansmith3699]

😆😆😆 This reminds me of Rhino Sniping; where players used vehicles to block their own troops' lines of sight, so that they could pick out leaders and special weapons from enemy squads 🙄🙄🙄 40k, eh? @@stalker1983

[@andreweckford6319]

Loved those old map diagrams. There was one around 95 where the tyranids respawned continuously when killed; but to win had to wipe out all the marine/guard massed forces.

[@DrewCocker]

This sounds like a typical 2nd edition battle to me: - Terminators have so many saves and are impossible to kill when next to a special character. - Ork bikes are good on paper but crash into each other and explode in an actual battle. - Shokk attack gun does all the damage. - Pulsa rokkits are so op that even 4 of them will win the game. - Big Ork mobs are thematically fun but get shot to pieces and any Orks that get into melee combat die to SM superior weapon skill. - Constantly looking up tables for damage. - 1000 weird rules and interactions that you need to keep memorised. - Game is randomly decided by a bad roll during the psychic phase.

[@waggerz]

Amazing, I must have read this battle report a hundred times as a kid and never once thought that anyone played anything wrong or could have done better. From memory I enjoyed the way they described the dreadnaught ''pilot' being eaten alive by snotlings inside his dreadnaught (I think that was this one). It was all just a good story to young me. If you take requests I would also like to request the Space Wolves vs Eldar battle report where the assassin blows up a bunker with a melta bomb and one single blood claw survives a round of combat with a banshee. Space Wolves were my first army and I still have my original metal powerfist blood claw posed the same way. The giant 4 player battle with all the tanks would be good later down the track too. Or the one where abbadon teleports into the middle of an ork camp. Oh and Orks Drift with the praetorians... Actually I'll just stay subscribed and watch as you go through them all.

[@OldenDemon]

That Space Wolf / Eldar one was one of my favourites

[@Muukip]

What is your icon supposed to be?@@OldenDemon

[@ollyrukes]

@@OldenDemon how abourt the epic scale blood angels vs chaos batrep, where the blood angels had 2 x warhound titans and some Grey Knights, and the chaos army had Daemon engines of Khorne and Magnus the Red. I must have read that 100 times when I was younger - I still remember the bit of fluff story where the thousand suns marine finishes off a blood angel and calls him "brother"

[@stonem0013]

ahaha same. As a kid I thought these guys were strategic masterminds 😆

[@jamesbryant8133]

Iv been out of 40k for decades. THIS is what would bring me back. I salute you sir 🫡

[@demonstructie]

Unless you have a few mates who want to stock to playing an older edition with old models, don't bother, it's sh*t now.

[@Muukip]

Personally, I was happy with it at the time but I couldn't bear spending 3 hours playing with such stone age game design now. What is it about 2nnd edition style games that appeals to you?

[@stuartclarke3171]

I stopped playing when they introduced 3rd addition. The last gaming system from GW I played was Warmaster. GW minis were pricey 20 years ago, they are criminally extortionate now.

[@timkpunkt8171]

The rules are better than almost every aspect of modern 40k basically. Way more immersive and roleplay-y. Close combat is between models fighting duels and not "I roll 40 dice, you roll 20 saves and take off your losses. After that you can role" Obviously for smaller games suited and not for mass battles but anyhow. Vehicle rules! Again more immersive and not so streamlined. You could shoot off weapons depending on from where you shoot, they have to turn while moving as if they are really driving instead of being just tall one model infantry models which loose wounds. And the crazyness which happens. Tank turrets get blown off and land on troops smashing them, models get crazy and running around flapping their arms like birds, you could hide your troops, decide how fast your vehicles drive (and therefore couldnt turn so often) plus all the templates. Thise as well are not streamlined down to three pieces but a lot of different weapons, grenades and psychic powers have their own special template which differentiate them from another which adds another level of uniqueness. The fact that there are templates is great as well. In 40k artillery pieced and stuff like that feel more like an ork gun with random number of shots. Weird tonsay the least.

[@pjsines4705]

I'd love to see a 10th edition batrep like this. Two hours or so condensed to just about 10 miutes? Bravo!!!!

[@theylivewesleep.5139]

This was a really interesting battle. On the one hand I want the dark angels to win, but on the other hand I want Gav Thorpe to be as far away from the dark angels as a restraining order can achieve.

[@boboayame2065]

I want Gav Thorpe to be fired out of a cannon in the general direction of France

[@theylivewesleep.5139]

@@boboayame2065now that’s a crowdfunding scheme I can get behind.

[@robertchmielecki2580]

Funny report and a bit of nostalgia, but I wouldn't want to play such a bad game nowadays. Just shows how far game design has come since those days of "watch your actions do nothing for several hours and then watch all the cool stuff happen on its own without any player input or agency whatsoever" (By game design progress I of course don't mean GW, new WH40K is as outdated as Monopoly).

[@theylivewesleep.5139]

@@robertchmielecki2580 did you mean to respond to me?

[@CantusTropus]

​@@robertchmielecki2580Yeah, as fun as it was, let's not put the nostalgia goggles on too tight. Oldhammer could be brutally unbalanced, and while they had rules that were very flavorful, those same flavorful rules could also be horrific to get screwed by. Example: Blood Angels Death Company being randomly determined. Lore accurate, but if I lost a game because three of my Devastator Marines decided they weren't shooting this game and left me without enough anti-tank, I'd be mightily cheesed off.

[@SuperGameFan77]

amazing. Watching the orks turns spin out of control felt like how orks would actually fight. They arguably cause more damage to themselves than the Dark Angels.

[@Rykrai]

I love the 2nd ed map iconography. One of the hing s that made me fall in love with the game.

[@Madhattersinjeans]

I really like this format. Just showing the old battle reports in this style that you have is very nice.

[@enti3l]

Thanks for the throwback :) This was the first White Dwarf battle report I ever read and formed my picture how a 2nd Ed orc army should look and play like for quite a while. Looking back now it's strange how the orcs in WD battle report never used their bosses for close combat, where they would've been absolute monsters. IIRC there are at least three battle reports where Ghazkull stands at the back of the army and does nothing except have his mega blaster explode on him.

[@BrianFlyingPenguin]

I don't think they would have been. Ork Warbosses were only WS6, couldn't remove any model they weren't touching and the studio army only offered an Armorcast battlewagon as an option for covering the distance faster. Honestly, just saving the points and taking a regular Warboss would have been more sensible.

[@albertobarriales474]

I recently played 2 games with the "desth star" tactics with my BA.5 terminators with hammers, terminator captain with Mephiston and Corbulo. One was a complete misfire, losing Mephiston, Corbulo and one terminator to a vert nasty smite. The other was crazy as the terminators became vampire genestealers, while Mephiston became a mini-bloodthirster that was able to hypnotize a psyker and maul it to pieces, while in turn 4 charge 24" into a Leman Russ and split it in two. Great

[@vanzetti7]

OMG I must have read this battle report a thousand times. I fricken LOVED it! This battle report and the imperial guard allied with Elder vs Tyranids one.

[@jonathanpalmer8245]

Your deadpan and distant, almost disinterested style is a perfect storm to make your comedy hit every time

[@daiatnara971]

Great rejuvenation of a great battle - mistakes and all, I never realised back then how many goofs slipped by, in my youthful naivete I just kind of assumed everyone at WD was an expert, and anything less than perfect performance was just a matter of them being limited by only being allowed to use whatever minis had been painted up by the Eavy Metal folks.

[@TheBiakko]

That shock attack gun shot on overwatch is definitely the move of the game

[@MorganMoogle]

Saving this video. This happens to be when I got into the game when I was 8. This battle report is what made me fall in love with Dark Angels. When the Deathwing were the elite of the elite (lore wise) ❤. Gav Thorpe is an OG legend.

[@Thoughtsmith]

As someone whose Chaos army often faced a Dark Angels army with two Deathwing squads, one with a heavy flamer, two pairs of lightning claws, one storm shield and thunder hammer combo, plus a second squad with either an assault cannon or cyclone missile launcher, I'm finding your preamble to this utterly baffling. We were teens on a pittance, but we built squads outside the stock boxes because blister packs existed, and boy, immunity to terror was *incredibly* frustrating sometimes...

[@joshuawilson8804]

I appreciate that the visual readability of the video, and the rule clarifications. So many batreps are kind of illegible, or no idea what is going on in the battle.

[@1985slipstream]

@3:19 wait after all these years i just realised the dark angels wear dressing gowns over the top of their power armour! Also @5:04 a d6 roll of 2 is a much better outcome than a roll of 1 on the bike damage.! crazy

[@spaghettislim7283]

Haven’t seen anything related to warhammer since I was a kid and this is the way I remember it being. Thank you for the trip down memory lane sir

[@ChristianVonCarmian40kVtuber]

Ah yes, 2nd edition running Superfriends before 7th edition made it (un)cool again

[@christopherjoachimwallat1429]

I never played Warhammer 40.000 after 2nd Edition (still read the rules, so I know most of the differences to later editions), so this battle report hits with an extra dose of nostalgia.

[@TallDarknGruesome]

I love the old stuff, remember playing fantasy battle with my high school friends in the 80's

[@Damnedlegion40k]

This is way more interesting than it has any credit being as old as it is but I don't care, it's interesting to me and I'm really enjoying it, keep up the great work mate.

[@Triceratopping]

my first WD was 190, so I think this was the first 40k batrep I read (previous issues had been Necromunda, Fantasy, and Epic iirc). Super nostalgic, thanks for this.

[@volcano3493]

Always love 2nd 40K content. I am in the process of documenting a 2nd 40K battle report of my own although I allowed units featured up to 5th edition to take part as well.

[@petersmith6513]

I remember Wolf Guard terminators could be equipped with an assault cannon AND a cyclone missile launcher in 2nd edition. Every turn have a Wolf Guard empty a salvo and that was a str8, 3'" ball of death with cannon fire as a bonus.

[@stalker1983]

That was FAQ out, along with limiting the amount of heavy weapons they could get.

[@petersmith6513]

@@stalker1983 Fair enough - I must have missed that edition of WD.

[@Yurt_enthusiast7]

Nowadays they're called Aggressors and isn't even considered especially broken😅

[@Weasel_Fierce]

This was your best video yet - really pleased to see the lack of AI art, please consider keeping this up. I know you love your dachshunds, but you can still do awesome work without them.

[@terminatoruk4921]

"I don't know how KZbin works and I don't care to learn" 😂 classic! Think it's worked as it made me post this message for the algorithm. Great content as ever sir, well done 👏

[@dominichails6256]

Really enjoyed that. Took me right back. Love that bad moon war boss

[@GizmoDuck_1860]

I miss these battle reports from the 90s so much. My first ever was Blood Angels vs Eldar.

[@Marshal976]

Great video, thanks for the nostalgia hit!

[@BlackJackalGaming]

If only white dwarf still did the battle reports like this it might be worth buying. Great video, really enjoyed it.

[@kaelball]

One of my first every White Dwarf purchases - was very fond of that battle report, thanks!

[@MajorZero508]

This was the best way to see a battle report.

[@jeffgormley2938]

Lol so cool, the dark angels shown at the start with the bright reds etc were painted by the manager of my local store when I was a kid!

[@ThomasMurch]

Thank you for another excellent and entertaining video! Perhaps it's just the nostalgia talking (my first ever White Dwarf was number 206, and I was able to buy most of the issues from 178-205 shortly afterwards from a bargain bin), but this era had some great battle reports ... seeing them brought to life like this is a real treat.

[@OldenDemon]

That was a golden era

[@SusCalvin]

Stupidity is a fun rule. They often tacked it onto severely unintelligent monsters. A giant with Stupidity would have a chance to misunderstand where it was and take a random action including standing around staring at their toes. The cold one war-lizards of the dark elves and some of their semi-tame monsters would have it, and monsters like trolls. A lot of monsters would not have it, and just use the normal rules for going out of control if their riders/minders were killed. Stupidity was different, it meant the model was spacing out and barely aware it was part of a battle. WFRP would keep using Stupidity in the tabletop RPG rules. Stupid characters who failed an Int roll when facing stress would have to roll on a chart to take a random action. Characters could be effectively paralyzed, they could be allowed to parry and take a short move, they could get reduced to a single Attack or they could whack a completely random character with their full might.

[@trunkage]

I have never heard of a more accurate rendition of the Death Star movie

[@wheelcha1rman2]

The librarian being sucked ibto the warp made me laugh out loud.

[@Coltarion]

This was sooo refreshing and much needed. You really nailed this. I can't wait to watch more of your content. Thank you.

[@WarpGateStudios]

I love this! Thanks for doing them! :)

[@rudinipl4012]

One of two casualties was nicked by a deamon! 2nd edition is bmgreat

[@GuerrillaMiniatureGames]

I love this. Well done!

[@VorpalDerringer]

Another cracking video! I love your stuff, 2e is full of wild and wacky things. I have some of the old codexes but seeing it all explained by someone familiar is way more fun!

[@McMacMastaMan]

What a great video! Looking forward to more of this sort ^^

[@nobularlol]

got home from work and this made my day! thanks for another fantasitc video!

[@ronwingrove683]

I remember this one! WD wishes it could have summarised it as well as you! It's strange, looking back at 2e now, you never thought anything was wrong with it at the time, but now you think "damn, that was a weird time."

[@OmegaLittleBob]

0:54 Wait wait wait wait wait! Is that...a WW1 Mark IV kitbashed and painted to be a Land Raider proxy????? Because its gorgeous!!!!

[@adambourne5523]

@3:52 check out the Autocannon profile in 2nd ed, it's not move or fire like other heavy weapons! - used to run 2 devastator squads armed with 4 of them.

[@FnRenner]

Bet that was a fun one to run back after a couple days of thinking it over for the ork player.

[@designjobber]

Awesome refresh of this report! Really interesting to see how it all used to work in 2nd Ed and love your commentary as always! A++

[@kwisatz_haderach1445]

I remember reading this battle report. Thanks for doing this video. Here is an idea; back in the day GW released a range of Imperial Guard dressed as the British Army of the Victorian Period. They fought a massive ork raid trapped in a small outpost. Rorke's Drift of course. It would make for a great video.

[@crapshot321]

They are known as the Praetorian Guard. They were introduced at UK Games day 97. The praetorians were and still are in some respects popular and can still be found in limited quantities on sites like E-bay. Still have a whole bunch of them, and yes they were fun to play.

[@PleasantKenobi]

Banging video. Great commentary. Thank you.

[@greyt00th]

I continue to really enjoy these battle report videos.

[@johnryan5133]

Nice, I remember this one and might dig out my hoarded 90s white dwarfs later

[@c0ntag10n]

Great stuff. I love it

[@richardlegall196]

Awesome video! I wish you would do the custom scenario Issue 222 "Last Stand at Glazer's Creek". An even more awesome battle report I loved when I was a kid.

[@OldenDemon]

It is requested a lot

[@SimonClark]

I remember a 4th ed battle rep (I think in WD29x or possibly WD30x) where a unit of deathwatch with librarian held off an entire tyranid army single handedly, after the imperial guard army they were attached to got turned into mush. Would love to see that in this format.

[@wischfulthinking]

love your work

[@porkpie9999]

nostalgia overload! thanks

[@T3koner]

Started playing in 3rd and before that was very interested just too young, im here for this.

[@T3koner]

Choppas making terminators take a 4+ save was chefs kiss when I started 😆

[@danielkellyuk]

I find I remember this battle report down the the individual photos and graphics. Those late 90s White Dwarves must have seared into my 12 year old brain.

[@Anchises]

Brilliant. More classic 40k and Epic batreps please!

[@Vergast]

I love these battle reports

[@bigandyclark]

This was the first white dwarf I owned. I loved how it was written up so much that 29 years on I still remember it

[@anahodil]

great video!

[@auretioustaak6579]

This was brilliant. Please do a Tyranid battle report next. :)

[@user-ko3tv7jl2r]

Great content.

[@Schalazarro]

Ach memories! Cool and thx!

[@ecyor0]

Oh yeah, those extra special effects very much enhance the experience - they actually make it *easier* to follow the flow of battle and keep track of what's happening.

[@aglumm9469]

awesome report. keep them coming. i really feel that tactics were not a priority back in the day

[@WanderlustZero]

'Stone Cold Steve Anastasoff' nooooooo why did I laugh at this XD Papa Steve and the Burger Boys reprazent

[@OldenDemon]

I forgot about them, maybe I should do Necromunda reports as well

[@misomiso8228]

Love your vids and love your battle reports... May I humbly suggest the next Battle Report you look at is the famous 'Heretic' Battle report from WD 187. Marvelous! After that maybe the Tyranid one from WD 189! EDIT: Or the one Tyranid one from 205. I never see that discussed that much, but it was one of the best.

[@criticalcommenter]

I remember this issue. Great cover. Wish I still had my old white dwarf copies

[@ThomAdams123]

Hope you do the 189 battle report The Great Devourer. Really the thing that got me into 40k and, if i remember rightly almost 30 years later, it went right down to the wire.

[@dclore]

God I miss the old school White Dwarf battle reports!!

[@alexfrench6359]

I still have the White Dwarf magazine with this battle report, well the original

[@walksinthedarkness]

Amazing stuff! Really enjoyed this one! Cheeky question - how many points was the battle and how many of them were sunk into the death star?

[@OldenDemon]

Epistolary w/ Sword and Hood: 187 Deathwing w/ Heavy Flamer and Chainfist: 373 Azrael: 185 Brother Bethor: 85 Total: 830 out of 1500pts Worth every penny.

[@jamesbryant8133]

It got so much worse later on

[@jonbauml225]

2nd edition sounds wild

[@anecdotalevidence8907]

These animations look great! What program do you use to create them?

[@OldenDemon]

After Effects

[@wilsonwy7151]

This was awesome! I love seeing your stuff. Are there any battle reports with the old Grey Knights? I’d love to see that.

[@grlmgor]

I don't think Grey Knights had any rules back then, they were just lore.

[@nathanwtc742]

Congratulations on another funny, entertaining review on a white dwarf 2nd ed 40k bat rep. Your insights are spot on too. Orks were so bad in 2nd Ed 40k that I usually cheered them on as the underdogs. So this is a rare (pyrrhic) victory. I remember that Steve loved his imperial guard tanks so he was definitely a rookie Warboss. Orks are so much better in 2023. Back in the 90's though... WS 3 BS 3 Str 3..... that's bad! Oh and their armour was made of toilet paper. 😂 I always loved the Scorcha bike though. Its Scorcha weapon was an out and out space marine toaster. Also, like everyone else, I loved the shock attack gun. The Daemonic Attack psychic card was awesome. It could kill any psyker and in my experience 1's got rolled more often than you'd expect. Of couse the Eldar had some rerolls, but the Eldar were AWESOME in 2nd ed. 24" shuriken catapults with 1 sustained fire dice each!

[@grlmgor]

That were your wrong a normal tactical marine was 30 points. Orcs had so crazy weapons that bypass your armour.

[@TomtensKanal]

These are really nice, keep it up! WIll you be making fantasy reports as well?

[@OldenDemon]

Eventually I think, but it will take a while to gather the required materials

[@TomtensKanal]

Fantastic, can't wait!

[@rexringtail471]

Interesting! I ran Ravenwing in 5th with the Standard of Devestation which made their firepower ridiculous. Didn't know that was a resurrected 2nd Ed piece of wargear

[@GlassHalfDead]

Might I ask what software you make these in? I know I can't, don't have the artistry for it, but it's very fun!

[@OldenDemon]

After Effects and Procreate

[@GlassHalfDead]

@@OldenDemon thanks! And yeah, two programs I know nothing about :p

[@CantusTropus]

It's not 2nd edition, but I'm going to continue requesting Kluctmeir's Last Stand from White Dwarf 306, because it's the batrep that started my obsession with this hobby.

[@christownley5262]

90 seconds in and literally laughing out loud… so good

[@joelarcher2691]

How did you make the visuals? Damn it looks classic - so good

[@alet2691]

Good vid

[@SusCalvin]

One feature of the objectives and the short number of turns was that big, bad deathball units didn't have much time to use their awesome power. Each turn such a unit is spent paralyzed, moving into position or getting clogged up with a cheaper disposable unit is a turn lost for them. People have described games where their big honkin' demon cut up anything immediately in front of it, while other enemy units on other parts of the field went past to score and win. Games do not end with a grind where only a handful of units remain on the field. The terminators didn't have time to kill entire units. They woud have if the game was five or six turns long.

[@iandoddsblah]

You should definitely cover that wild IG vs Space Marine tank battle from issue 188 or so!

[@MM-io7pr]

I remember reading this one and finding annoying how "gamey"/rules lawyer the Dark Angels army was, although as an IG player I held less-numerous elite armies in contempt anyway

[@cxsanchez28]

Space Wolves Terminators - wiping players with cyclone missiles and Flank March since 1995

[@Skull_Gun]

Great seeing these old battle reports brought to life! Just curious but is there somewhere to get these high res versions of the cards shown at 6:10 ?

[@OldenDemon]

I’m trying to add them all to the Ko-Fi page as I produce them but I often forget

[@Ed-ss1uh]

Dang the poor librarian