Dating & Relationship Experience of a Transgender Schizophrenic

[@emilyfitzgerald804]

"Blessed are poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven." Matthew 5:3 My darling, you deserve to be EVERYTHING you are destined to be. You have had so much pain and abuse dealt to you, none of which you deserved. Given from people who have probably ALSO experienced great pain, and passed it on to you unfairly. I know someone who loves you unconditionally whether you know it or not and He can heal you. I hear you talk and I see a bright intellectual... TEACHER and HEALER, there must be a reason you are showing all of yourself to the world, despite all the pain. I suspect there is so much more to you that you don't even know yet. Wish I could look you in the eyes to tell you that you are beautiful despite what you've been unfairly told/shown. This is your sign. He is watching over you.

[@MrRizon83]

You are loved

[@pmcgktr]

Finally, a christian who tries to imitate Christ. It's refreshing to see someone who is a believer of Christ who actually applies his teachings, ergo accepting others rather than marginalizing them. Whether Autumn is Christian or not, it's nice to see support from a member of a religion who of which are widely stereotyped as bigoted.

[@aleathea6317]

Understand what she's saying 100% because most people find it hard to want to be around me because of my multiple personality disorder and Aspergers. I don't see why anybody wouldn't want to be in a relationship with you you're an inspiration. and VERY brave I couldn't do what you do in a million years.

[@MisterPiink]

I very much relate to this; my communication skills are lacking, but I am very intuitive. It can definitely turn people off. Anyway, your eye makeup is amazing.

[@fairy_god_prince1701]

New friendships and relationships are a huge responsibility, if you think about it. I understand how you feel I'm going through a lot of the same stuff as a trans woman, mentally and socially. stay strong and tell your self you are a loveable person because the truth is you are and never think your not.

[@Purrsimmons]

I'm going to be completely honest here... I can't see how you can possibly ever have a meaningful, long-term relationship. And unfortunately, you make it seem like it is always other people that cause this. You are very pessimistic, and VERY focused on your mental illnesses. I truly don't mean to be hurtful. But you seem like a very deep person who gives a lot of insight into themselves. Maybe take the time to put the labels of your illnesses aside, stop calling yourself negative names. Think of yourself as an equal to every other person on these sites. And stop being so critical of others.

[@holly1vince]

Well said.

[@helenverrill]

Denying that mental health conditions exist is both ignorant and incredibly dangerous. Since I finally got doctors to diagnose me bipolar ( I had self diagnosed years before) I got the right medication and no longer get dangerous highs or very dangerous suicidal depressions. With the pills and lifestyle adaptations I am well and happy. First I had to acklowledge I had a condition. Pretending mental health conditions do not exist kills people. You have clearly never really met anyone or worked in a mental health facility and are not qualified to make such comments. Please try and get an education and open your mind as your ignorance is very dangerous.

[@helenverrill]

Well said awesonenessinglasses. Wow that was a long name to write x

[@helenverrill]

Sorry I think I have misunderstood and I can't now delete my comment. You mean the diagnostic 'biolar, mulitiple personality disorder And Schizophrenia doesn't exist ' as a triple condition. Is that what you mean ? I do think I have misunderstood however I don't think that we can diagnose someone online. She may have all three conditions. That is a possibility and as someone who has lived with mental illness and worked in the field I don't find Autumn at all stigmatising in fact just the opposite. I find her educational and helpful. I'm also quite surprised a psychiatrist has time to watch and comment on you tube videos. I cannot image the guy I saw doing that. Perhaps I there is more to psychiatrists that I knew.

[@tillywontspeak]

Ichiban that's very nice, but you have no idea what she's going through. only she knows that and she knows best what to do and what's best for her.

[@uijina]

Everyone is gonna hurt you eventualy even the one that Love you. But Love is to forgive the one that you love even how many times they hurt you.

[@GabyG48]

I think is good you made these videos to help you express yourself better

[@LilDevilLuciferCutie]

and now I had to subscribe! You are beautiful! :)

[@sadiepotosky4955]

I love your sense of humor. :P

[@LilMissOutcast56]

I am so glad I'm not alone in this! I'm not trans or a lez, but I never dated, been asked out, etc. I think it's because I'm overweight :/ oh well!

[@MrFALLENHER0]

I'd smash

[@nakitsukikuronuma]

"...Partly because I come off as a creepy, stalker, weirdo." SAME cx Also, a transgender lesbian Goth bipolar multiple-personality schizophrenic, I find that strangely interesting and would enjoy talking with you about... weather? xD I don't know what people talk about!

[@KeistasZmogelis]

I like your teeth/mouth. Just wanted to put that out there. It's a weird compliment to get, i know, expecially from a straight male, to a transgender woman :D

[@fix923]

You are emotionally intelligent, beautiful young woman. A sapphire in a pile of coal... Be proud of yourself! You are amazing! Greetings from Serbia.

[@LolSnimci]

Filip Marić jel znas da je ona u stvari bila musko :(

[@fix923]

Dino Fan Shvatio sam... Malo kasnije... Da... :(

[@fix923]

Filip Marić... ali je i jedna od retkih, emotivno zrelih i inteligentnih osoba, kojiko devojki si sreo u životu, da su nesigurne u sebe i nezrele, i neozbiljne, ne samo mlađe, nego i starije žene... Ovakve osobe su retkost, ne bih ja bio sa njom u vezi, ili šta god, ali mi prija njena pamet.. :)

[@ASMRconKiki]

You are utterly beautiful. I am stunned by your intelligence and grace...so glad I found your channel. As for relationships, I don't think one simply falls in love with a specific gender or a sterile body. We fall in love with the person, in that sort of mental and physical connection, a graceful alchemic dance, that I struggle to describe. You deserve love, despite the risks of getting hurt, which is part of it - as we are all limited humans. If people like you don't pursue love, who should? I can clearly see that you have the universe to give, fear is just a mindkiller that you don't need. Be aware of your beauty. You are special and unique, you are not a bunch of definitions and cathegories created by a blind, stubborn society. You had the courage to follow the light out of the cave, let the enchained ones stay there and be trapped forever.

[@judybrown1446]

Hi Autumn, this is the 2nd video I've watched of yours. I feel bad for you, labels are for soup cans, you must have heard that before, don't be so hard on yourself. Nobody is perfect. My question for you is, have you ever considered getting a dog? Maybe if you felt the unconditional love of a pet, it might boost your self esteem. I'll be praying for you anyway. You seem authentic to me.

[@berzerkknot]

i wish we were friends. :'(

[@TheStray666]

You know what? You seemed like an interesting person, and I actually felt sympathy towards you, right until the point when you started reading your messages. Although the most accurate word would be "mocking" instead of reading. There sure as hell needs to be something wrong with you if you're putting people down for finding you attractive, one way or another. You say that you're very selective in the people you "let in", and that you need time to develop romantic feelings. But the truth is, that it's not somebody that needs to get through the "wall" that you're putting around you. It's YOU that needs to solve your problems first and have realistic expectations towards potential partners. I'm not surprised that you never had a relationship. You give off a very egocentric vibe. You may be able to love yourself, but I sincerely doubt you're able to love anybody else.

[@asakebrown1]

Damn, I can't even dispute this, that's a lot of people's problem when they say no one likes them though

[@ansonlim4073]

Watch her update video, shes grown a lot.

[@luckylaura12]

I've been watching your videos as of lately and I have begun to notice that you find comfort in labeling yourself. Do you find giving yourself labels help you more?

[@spragona]

In many ways labels will help anyone feel better, because it creates a sense of belonging, which is crucial for most if not all human beings. Some are aware and others are not, I don't think it's a bad thing. In many ways labels help to give more clarity to a person who otherwise would be in the dark.

[@luckylaura12]

I see your point. However it can be harmful to have a label hanging over ones head because the individual can start to fell as though the label defines them. With Autumn she isn't her disabilities, shes more. Of what I have notice she is very intellectual and is very beautiful.

[@rjlewis3932]

We do define ourselves in a society by labels and titles. The next time you go to your doctor, call him mister, and I guarantee you will see you have pushed a button. I know because I was a surgeon for 35 year. I would simply ask if they would like a surgical technician or assistant to perform the operation. It was amazing how you could almost see the light bulb go off in their heads. On the other hand, unless you know someone extremely well, it is bad form to express any physical or mental health issues you may have with them. Their is an old saying about never discussing religion or politics with casual friends or acquaintences. As a society, I believe we have come along way in terms of tolerance of race, religion and lifestyle, but there are still many people who harbor an uneasiness or outright disrespect for those who do not measure up to their own worldview. There is never going to be a utopia, where we all just get along. That is part of the human condition that has existed since homo sapiens began to walk this earth.

[@annamichelle1416]

Most people like labels, because it can help them find groups of people that think like them or act like them. ❤️😊🌺

[@Purrsimmons]

I feel like she finds a comfort in these labels. Maybe she feels if you provide yourself with a label, then other people that label themselves as such will automatically like her. I don't know, I don't want to be rude. But I came on her channel because she seemed to have insight on some of the things I suffer from and now I'm starting to realize she has diagnosed herself as having every mental illness under the sun. Which in itself I'm sure it's a bigger illness.

[@pumkin54]

"No one has ever been interested in me. No one has ever told me they like me or generally find me interesting." The thing about being on KZbin, I'm sure you've caused a lot of people to be interested in you and to like you genuinely. The problem is these people will be drowned out by the majority of people who watch you on KZbin, the ones who are trolls, lecherous, and have ulterior motives. But trust me, there are some people who are undoubtedly interested in you, sincerely. They can't help but like you because you share so much of yourself in these videos and people begin to feel they know you. For example, many of the things you say mirror things that I deal with on a daily basis. That makes me feel an affinity for you. (Not the transgender part :P) It's actually kind of refreshing to hear somebody voicing the things I've always struggled to express successfully myself.

[@GerriElder]

Did you read the headline the other day about OK Cupid faking 90% matches?

[@AutumnAsphodel]

Gerri Elder Yes, but that didn't apply to me.

[@silvertail7418]

***** I wish i had a friend/family like autumn and iris my life is bad but not as tough as yours. i would actually like to know you better im going to post this around and try to get your attention. now i dont want to deceive, hurt or lie to you like you said i know what it is like i might not go through it but i understand perfectly. just to prove it to you i will tell you my motive. my motive is to help anyone and everyone anyway i can i know this can be weird have someone come up to you can say this but all i ask of you is to let me help. oh and another thing i want to understand what it is like and how i can help others like, dont back away when i ask you of this i just ask of a reply to see what you say. thank you for reading

[@kaitlyncook8557]

You seem like such a beautiful, kind, amazing person. I hope your life goes well. :3

[@beatrizkarwai6763]

You are a very introspective person, so I think you should apply your knowledge about the complexity of yourself to other people. People are complex, multifaceted, paranoid, delusional, and many other things. By directing your introspection toward society, you'll be able to attract people to your life, and also be more interested in them

[@i.c.wiener9611]

Knowing that there's someone like me out there makes me feel more confident.

[@mariee.3220]

when i saw your video i felt that overwhelming feeling of wanting to hug you. and on some part i was nearly crying. the more i see of your videos the more i understand you and like you, because even though you had gone through hell and have to handle with many bad things now too, you are a strong person! it sounds a bit strange but i feel like it. you are a great personality (with all of your parts!), with a very nice character, so you shouldn't be alone. you deserve a girlfriend who accepts you as you are as a whole. you seem likeable to me and i wish you all the best for the future! ( why should i lie? don't know you, so what should i hate about you? what would it give to me if i would hurt you? i don't want to and i don't will! i have absolutely no problem with anything of your attributes. furthermore it is very interesting to learn more about you and your point of view. so im looking forward to your next videos though these are a bit older now. xD ) Oh, and you are pretty, and you can be proud of it! (im german, so sorry for my bad english) ^^

[@ByeByeBelly]

Are you attracted to femininity as something to look at/admire/more interesting looking than males? Because I feel that way, but I'm 100% straight. As in, I'm only sexually attracted to men (though being truly attracted to a guy happens to me quite rarely and usually involves some relationship/friendship that's developed)... but if I draw a picture, it'd always be female, and looking at female characteristics is just far more interesting. It's hard to explain. But I have no sexual attraction to women and don't want to have sex with them

[@LokiStarOmen]

You're a very nice and beautiful person. I would ask you out if I had the chance, I'd love to know you propperly away from the camera. I know how you feel, mental illness is not fun. I was forced into prostitution by my dad from 3 until I was 7 and have been severely bullied since nursery (Kindergarden?). Now I suffer from clinical depression, Renfield Syndrome and Disassociative Disorder (and dislexia, lol). As well as that I suffer from anxiety, helucanations and chronic insomnia. Seriously, you deserve so much better, you're awesome. Love you're videos x

[@2014andon]

Angel Phoenix *your

[@LokiStarOmen]

I'm dislexic, gimme a brake

[@LokiStarOmen]

Fuck you, judgmental biggot

[@Lithrilla]

+Angel Phoenix I am so sorry you had to go through that. It breaks my heart

[@LokiStarOmen]

I'm learning to deal with it ^^ thankyou *hug*

[@cattyk12]

The way you speak is so incredibly intelligent. It almost sounds as if you're reading a book. It's oddly therapeutic

[@CelesticaDemonix]

+cattyk12 Well, she's reading off her screen. She has said it in her videos. She says that her thoughts are often disorganized , so she has to write them down on her screen while filming....

[@cattyk12]

+Anastassiya Alexieva oh wow that makes sense. New to this channel so haven't seen much. Thanks!

[@mozfan2436]

Maybe you shouldn't dismiss someone off-hand just because they compliment you on your looks. I believe often times when someone likes a person's personality, it's strange or awkward for the person to say "I like your personality." It just doesn't sound right. So instead it's easier to say, "You have nice eyes." or "You have a nice smile." The more I begin to be fond of someone, whether friendly or romantic, I begin to associate their face with my warm feelings toward them so again, it's so easy to just compliment the person on an aspect of their looks. Again, it is too awkward, and perhaps too intimate to say, "I like you", etc...

[@punstress]

Getting hurt is just part of life. You can't avoid it. Either you're hurt by being alone forever or you're hurt by someone you love. At least in the latter case, you have good times, too. Read "Playing Ball on Running Water" or "Even in Summer the Ice Doesn't Melt." But I'd stay away from OK Cupid. Too many weirdos.

[@BannanaOfDoom]

Oh my god you are a schizophrenic too? I am schizophrenic too, and transsexual. I thought I would never get any treatment as a transsexual due to my schizophrenia. Did you ever have any problems transitioning as a schizophrenic?

[@daisysmakeup101]

You are such an amazing person. You will find someone who excepts you completely one day. Just be patient I truly believe that you will find someone. You are smart funny and beautiful any man or woman would be lucky to have you. I wish you the best. Love your videos keep up the great work! Xoxo

[@XionSolitude]

*the best cyber hug I could ever give*

[@MichelleLynn725]

It seems you hold a negative opinion towards people who are attracted to you or your online profile due to the way you look. First, I'd like to point out that people who feel they were born the wrong gender seem to not only want the hormone treatments, change of residence, career and surgical operations to "fix" and smooth their gender identity transitions and change-overs, but they also adopt the gender specific clothing, behaviors, voice inflections and adornments that "fit" the specific gender they are after within their local area. If you hate the idea that people seek your social attentions due to your looks, remember that even though you felt like a woman in a man's body, you DID NOT have to go to the lengths you did to "look" and "feel" like a woman on the outside... BUT YOU DID. Deal with that before casting judgement on others who would respond to your looks - when you above all others paid the most attention to how you publicly "come off" to others.

[@RobertArias]

***** , I just finished watching this video and I must apologize that you haven't had some of the experiences others of us have had. While I don't know you personally, you seem to be a very nice, down to earth, caring person. I know relationships may not be a necessity to you, but I cannot imagine someone with such a strong heart will go much longer without building a robust group of friends and relationships in the near future. On the positive side, thankfully you've avoided having to put up with the gluttony of rude, nasty, and uncaring people many off is have been forced to be surrounded by in our lives. Your followers care about you and we all thank you for the *True Inspiration* you are to us.

[@brettwinchell6121]

Id admire how bold and open you are about yourself and put it on you tube for alll to see.....that takes guts. If people can't accept you fuck em.... You are fine the way you are. online dating is bullshit .Do what makes you happy. keep going miss your doing great.

[@BornToBeWyld]

If it's any consolation, you're loved and accepted by a bunch of people on KZbin - I, along with many others, find you very interesting ^^ Just wanted to say that :)

[@SeXii8DISASTER]

***** I have been watching your videos for a while now and I just wanted to say you are a very smart woman, and I think you have helped many people with understanding mental illnesses, including myself.

[@cloudwalker08]

Autumn, I think you are a very prety and smart woman, you dont need to have a mental problem to have a bad love life or even none like you claim, I am an example of that, relashionships are hard and we are the ones who close the doors really, I saw your video and I can tell you are very pesimistic about it, me too actually, your problem should not be the reason why you are alone, I have heard of woman finding love with incredible baggage in the most ridiculous situations. why not all of us ? And dont get mad because I say you are pretty .

[@jazkalcala9088]

I feel the same way to I have the same thing I hate that people treat you different when you let them know what you have it's like straight up scene might as will not tell them anything but it's hard to go outside it's hard to have a job it's hard to go to school and study you can even stare anybody even if you think you're thinking out loud in the start Crispa a criticizing you about everything all about your appearance matters if somebody sees you if you look ugly do you have schizophrenia they don't want to be around you they don't want to socialize with you they don't want to be friends with you it's been a hard time for me I've been trying to forget what I have I been trying to take medication medication doesn't work for me anymore I hope you respond to me pretty soon this is something that is actually sad. I feel like people don't understand because they don't have they don't have schizophrenia it's hard sometimes you want to cry and you feel you feel like you're in pain just because you can't find the one who loves you and you can't see you can notice who was going to judge me who's not

[@lizlighting92]

I would love to be friends with you and chat with you. People are who they are. They can't help how they are born. Keep on being awesome.

[@yerichu]

I can understand demisexual completely that's how I am. I have heard that sexual abuse at a young age can cause sex drive to increase so I suppose that is why I like sex more than I should. But I usually keep that to myself no one suspects it. So I never understood asexual. Anyways I respect you any way you are ❤ You should put yourself out there I'm sure your a lovely person.

[@leynawright4872]

I agree sooooooo much on your attitude towards relationships! I used to date around with all types of people but over time I developed the "I don't want to invite someone to hurt me" mentality. Now I've been through so much pain I can honestly say I'm beyond being scared and now I just don't want any at all. I don't want to give someone power over me or give someone the right to make me happy when I can do it myself. If you ever want to talk I'm here! I can tell you've been through all of the things you've discussed in this video around and around again. I'm sorry you've had to go through that. :(

[@Nicole-fb6fr]

I can completely relate to what your saying and I feel exactly the same way! So many people have let me down I just can't be bothered anymore. Now I have embraced the freedom of being single and am more focused on other things in life such as travel, meeting new and interesting friends and trying new things. We don't need anyone else to make us happy! And hey, being single is FUN!

[@GarrisGamer301]

everyone is special in their own way. you'll find someone, you just have to wait :)

[@kaitjhonson4794]

I have to admit that I love hearing your voice.

[@camronphelan6753]

I have a series of mental disorders and I feel like I should have been the opposite sex and your videos make me feel like I'm not the only one gong through these sort of things. Thank you for making the videos and please keep making them.

[@samanthareynolds2348]

Transgender, Lesbian, Goth, Bipolar, Multiple-personality, Schizophrenic.... You sound like the best friend ever :D

[@Nicole-fb6fr]

Thanks for sharing your experiences! I can relate to the experiences you had with online dating. I tried it (HUGE mistake!) and found that 99% of the people on there were creeps, weirdos, very desperate and some had fake profiles. A lot of people just waste your time and only want to have endless, stupid conversations that turn ugly and then they start telling you their weird sexual desires and ask you to send them naked photos. Soooooooo frustrating and unoriginal! The ones I actually met with were a COMPLETE letdown and looked nothing like their profile picture. Now I know why a lot of people stay online for years and NEVER meet a decent person. You have to wonder why they are online in the first place. It wasn't fun for me but a bad experience and waste of time. I'm going to stick to the old fashion best way of meeting people: GOING OUT! I found since getting offline and meeting people out is the BEST thing! Even if you don't meet your Mr/Miss right, you can meet new and interesting people and you have fun doing it! Also just travelling has kept me very occupied and positive and I know there is so much more to life then thinking about relationships and sex. In fact, I'm going to South America in 3 weeks time and Europe in August on my own, who cares about boyfriends!!! Personally, I feel much happier and free on my own. I have been single now for almost 2 years but I don't care anymore, even though I get lonely sometimes I am much more independent and have been focusing my life on other skills and interests. I know having someone to share your life with is a beautiful thing, but it will happen in the right time. In fact, I'm surprised at the unexpected places I met past boyfriends. The most important thing is finding happiness within yourself, and I would rather be on my own now then with the wrong person. Relationships are beautiful but also very emotionally overwhelming. Its not always a walk in the park, and yes, sometimes I wonder if the pain I felt after a break-up was worth being in the relationship in the first place. Anyway, just have fun, go out, and enjoy your life!!! Your young, interesting, honest about who you are and attractive. The right person will see all your amazing qualities and love you for who you are :)

[@vippe630]

u are one of the most beautiful girl i've ever seen. At first i didn't even know/notice that you were a man once. I love your videos and...OMG THOSE BEAUTIFUL EYES! I hope that maybe one day, you will learn to trust people again, because I did too. I know it can feel impossible but you just have to give a chance for people, you have no other possibility if you want to know how it's like to be in a relationship. Don't enjoy loneliness too much, in the end it's not that nice :) I hope all the best for you!

[@presley6416]

How in the world have you not been told your interesting! I am absolutely fascinated with you and think you are VERY interesting to say the least. I find myself wondering what it must be like to live through what you have. I don't pretend to understand much about your issues, but I am deeply touched by the pain in your eyes. Particularly in your vid of the alters. I am drawn to the " real" you, the host I believe? Your courage to be vulnerable is amazing!

[@yenee94]

I'm straight and born female and I'm as inexperienced as you! I've never asked anyone out or has been asked out by anyone. I guess for me, it's because I'm very socially awkward, especially when it comes to talking to men. I genuinely don't know how to have a decent conversation with men, I never have. It's funny, because I was fine talking to male teachers back in high school, I had no problem. It's guys that are about my age that I have problems talking to. I mean, how do I even begin a conversation? what do I say? I get so self aware when I talk to men it gets really uncomfortable. I wish I could meet a geeky man as I am and just be friends, and maybe start a romantic relationship too. Anyway, thanks for the video as always. you really rock. :)

[@ArkhaosGR]

As long as your personality isn't negatively affecting yourself or others, I say be what you want. If your "bipolar" personality is doing bad things to yourself and others, then yes, you should learn to control your emotions. Control, as in not letting them control you depending on your mood. For example: "I got really angry at something or for no reason and insulted my boss. Now I'm without a job". And control doesn't mean shutting them down and have no emotions.

[@alexxcain11812]

Like not just physically beautiful, but like your intelligence..You're so open and you have a bright light about you..I dont know I just get a vibe from you that is very bright and good.

[@ethanfields1444]

I have an okcupid account but I'm really not that attractive so I don't receive any messages. When I do message folks I usually check their profile first. The last girl I messaged had that she liked Thai food or something on her bio so I asked her about it. Asked her if she knew how to cook and what recipes she'd recommend if she'd traveled, where she'd been. It's difficult to build rapport with people for me though and I haven't really used it sense. My feeling is that people will want something from me I can not provide and as I quickly lose interest in things my conversations drop off.

[@VeronicaAthaydeVaz]

Autumn, i know this have a long time, but i just loved so much your videos that i really want to be your friend. i know this is probably not going to happen because you are a celebrity from internet or something, but you seem to be a nice person to have as a friend.

[@6672rock]

For what it's worth, if you were interested in dating men, I would jump at the opportunity to take you out! I know you actually prefer women, so I won't push the issue. Just know I think you're a beautiful person both inside and out.

[@madisonhite510]

I actually love you and admire you so much. I'm so excited to find a fellow asexual. I just want you to know how much I value you and your words. Absolutely a beaut inside and out. (As cliche as that may sound, it's the truth.)

[@brintesiacirce9414]

I find you really interesting... Beign able to carry on no matter what it's a really rare quality and i genuinely admire you. I hope i don't sound like a creepy stalker,i've just seen a lot of your videos and they have opened my mind much more than before. Thank you

[@sunnymoon369]

I could listen to you talk all day. I love your voice. I have BPD and have found your videos very helpful. Thank you, Autumn!

[@commonsense3230]

see I was reading all this negative comments on this video as It started to roll and wondered why people would be so harsh about you. It became more clear to me as your video progressed. You are all about yourself. Me,me,me,me,I,I,I,me,myself and I. I am sorry but I have to agree with some of the people here. Why did you not respond to that guy who wrote to you about love? You accused him of trying to change your sexual orientation and turn you straight. You are sooooooo complicated.

[@rachelsmith6792]

Hi Autumn, I posted on another video. Not only do we look similiar but your personality is just like mine! I get you! I am the same. Everything you said is my experience. If theres more like me or you, theres more like us.

[@xxsmurfit]

You are a very unique and interesting person, I think you need to really open yourself up, relationships are built on trust, so if you don't have the ability to truly trust in someone then maybe you are better off by yourself. The only reason to suspect someone of going behind your back is to have concrete evidence, you can't spend your whole life wondering who is going to hurt you next when you haven't given them the chance to love you. the only way someone is going to disappear who really cares about you is you pushing them away. the right time will come, your heart will shine through when you find them.

[@princealbert4504]

Jeez the first 30 second got my attention because i have the same issue, never been in a relationship and i am 23 years old. YES!!!! i so understand what are you talking about when it comes on understanding people without needing to talk to much with them. I gotta say that our intuition is a great blessing but it can also be a curse!

[@VitruvianVision]

I can understand the part where you say you tend to find people offputting who comment on ur looks first thing. superficial is a huge turnoff. defined as 'pretty' or not. I think you may have misread some of the messages labelled as disrespectful though. and well some men I fear will never understand what being lesbian or Trans or even feminine means. I am a hetero female btw but I sometimes feel attracted to Trans females. I think it has to do with the concept of the soul. That is in essence void of form and sexual orientation and I think that is the beautiful thing transpeople can really give the world.. a deeper understanding of self. self has nothing to do with ur body or orientation at all. its just who you are.

[@timmyman1997]

you are an amazing, beautiful, intellectual, interesting women and if you want to be with a woman in your life (for the rest of your life) I honestly hope it happens because after everything you have gone through you truly deserve it, and some unlucky girl would be missing out by not being by your side.

[@leniseduartedealmeida764]

🖤💜I don't find it uncomfortable to date a trans. people of the opposite sex flirted with me, lesbian and bisexual type.🖤💜

[@1337Shockwav3]

The "I can turn a lesbian straight" thing seems to be very common on pretty much any dating sites, just like women seem to be generally thought of as a free ride (sorry for language) among a significant amount of men (online & offline) which is disgusting. I know the idea might seem scary at first, but have you checked if there are any FLT* communities (preferably with real life meetings) in your area or attend FLT*/'queer' activities on your own? I've met some good, long term friends that way (in a slightly different context as I'm a CIS-male and therefore many of those being closed to me or being allowed as an 'extra' only) ... and so have they. Online dating/friendship sites our experiences seem similar, even though things didn't get as bad for me as they did for you. All the best :)

[@MetalheadWolfman]

If you want a relationship, you'll be able to develop one eventually.

[@beckycourtain2714]

You are beautiful and an amazing person and I have a feeling if I wasn't an aromantic asexual I'd be attracted to you. You are extremely deep and intelligent. I love that in a person.

[@Boring333]

She just needs love. I'm sure that she is depressed and labels herself with all these tings because she just needs someone to share to and understand her. And as she says, she avoids it because she is afraid but I belive it's because she does not believe in herself. She still doesn't love herself. Because no one is there to help her. I'm sure she is not a bad person, intelligent, attractive but does not know what to do with her life. If you read this-know you are a beautiful person inside and out no matter your flaws.

[@0whateverlike0]

I can't believe the message you got saying that because you were attractive they would show more attractive people in your feed. That's so shamelessly shallow!

[@theryn4376]

There IS someone who will accept and love your entirety. They are out there and you will find them, don't give up looking.

[@theryn4376]

I like the term demisexual I think I'm the same. I like your videos and listening to your thoughts. Best wishes to you :)

[@MsMadKim]

You seem like such a genuine person and I can relate to you but I also have no dating experience and am afraid to put myself out there but I am working out it and I hope you find someone :)

[@JadedMuse2]

Wow...quite scary story actually. I have been on Vampirefreaks for about 8 years now and something like that happened to me too. I never used it like a dating site but it really is kind of like one (have met several exes and many friends there). I had this one guy stalk me and also made several accounts too. This person conned me into taking seductive pics for them and then sent them to an ex of mine. They scared me to death because they were repeating word for word things I'd told someone else I was on webcam with and showed me "screen grabs" of myself too. They made me believe they hacked my computer to the point I completely unplugged my pc because the threats they were hurling at me were terrifying and I believed them about hacking me. It turned out this person was baiting me with at least three fake profiles and the person I had on webcam was him too but I didn't know because he wouldn't go on webcam. He stole all of the pics on every profile from other people's profiles. I went through a lot of trauma from this person and became very paranoid too. It sounds like you were possibly catfished by someone...very sorry you had to go through that and yes it's definitely traumatic. Hopefully it hasn't deterred you from making friends via the internet all together. Love your channel btw!

[@mboucaud]

Just look below. See how many people truly appreciate the person you are inside. You are an inspiration to me definitely.

[@roxannejoganik3466]

I could but you are young and I know how hard it is to live as trans and bi poler any house your worst enemy but you could find someone.. good for you just be careful who you date hun Grand ma Roxy

[@BeautyAndTheBeast5]

personalitys are better then looks i agree with you i hate when people just sit and chat about how much they like there own looks everyone does not have to be jerks i hate bullys i have really bad anxiety i hate large groups of people

[@XionSolitude]

I, along with many others would understand and accept you entirely if we ever knew you!

[@Argimak]

Hey, just so you know, we all love and accept you! That's why we watch your videos :)

[@julsiebear]

I live in Switzerland, but I wish we lived in the same town, I think we would be good friends!

[@chelsielynne32]

Your beautiful and i know the right person will come along for you. 😊💜

[@marceloruiz1905]

I really admire your honesty and courage in exposing yourself and try to help other people. There should be more people with your courage in the world !

[@lunaeinhorn]

You are a beautiful woman, and you will find your princess

[@theflowerhead]

I enjoyed this video, but why is it bad for someone to ask what you're into? How else do they get to know you? I thought that was the point. o.o

[@staceyvanadder6040]

You have a lot to offer someone. You're sweet & smart. I'm sure you will find your soulmate.

[@natashahughes2000]

I think you are quite awesome. You deserve to be loved

[@SultanTechRambo]

such a lovely girl! hotter than model

[@adrianbailey1890]

I growup with 2 sister &@ home I was into girls thing all my life but hid this away & know more about ladies & man carn't understand how I do this & have been talk by 7 ladies I know more about ladies & only 1 out of 100 don't know about ladies & think they know , I feel at 1 with my self like a ladies mind , I'v only dated 2 ladies borth have walked away , 1 walked off with my child &my best friend . the second walked away her family forced her & B&D BOROUGH COUNCIL , why I had a brake down & these people come charging on on my life & My pregant girl friend . .

[@adrianbailey1890]

This is why I do not mix my word & won't play mind game with any 1

[@vvv-zo9ps]

I find you very attractive.

[@ju_mappelle_le_blu_sacre]

oh that fucking sucks :(

[@petey8278]

Where do you shop!?

[@Genderlessjude]

Your mind is beautiful, I would love to pick your brain. You're not "to much" you speaking the truth is very hard and I admire you and your strength. We suffer the same things and you being completely open about the same things I suffer has helped me with my strength, thank you so much. I can't get enough of your videos as I said before your mind is beautiful, thank you again for helping me.

[@kirajo844]

so i think maybe we might need to talk, sugar! i can pretty much relate to you in everyway.i have mood and personality problems, and i get super paranoid and o'm kinda out of touch with reality.also, my last relationship was with a person similar to you i that he was born a boy and likes girls.i'm super withdrawn too, and black is my color. if you eanna vent or talk or anything, i'm here!

[@toutmoncoeur]

I saw this, i'm a lesbian, I thought i'd comment "i'd be your friend" and then you said "we'd have to be friends for a long time before i consider anything" and then i thought I shouldn't say "i'd be your friend" for it would sound as if I'm looking for something other than friendship...then i laughed, paused the vid to write this and will play the rest now...

[@samuelbiskin3416]

don't put yourself down too much. there are a lot of idiots out there. you are smart, spoken and clear headed. being picky is good and the fact that you can look at yourself objectively is a great thing. In my opinion its better to meet friends and enjoy common activities. dating services seem to suck. hang in there

[@elliotoffscrubs]

I think you come across as having an honest, lovely personality. I hope you can press past the fear of loosing someone and experience a precious relationship- anything worth having has a price tag- you risk your heart when you give it to someone-the good news is it heals. thanks for your vids babe- keep on posting. btw- smoking hot goth girls ftw.

[@noiramaterasu3772]

I've watched quite a few of your vids and I can relate to so many things you've said, especially your views on friendships/relationships. 4:45-5:18 really hit home. You have an awesome personality and I enjoy watching your vids. Also love your sarcastic sense of humor! n_n

[@Starwalker1300]

Your video has made me smile sadly at how I know exactly how certain things feel, nod with agreement at hoow misunderstanding people are, and laugh at how intelligent you seem with your responses to those crazy people who were silly for not actually getting to know you

[@P226nut]

Hearing you talk just makes me want to scoop you up and make everything better, I wish I could help you.

[@GraveTalkswithShannonScott]

You're a wonderful human being & can't say enough about the way you express yourself and help others by doing so. Thank you :>