David Cross - Funniest Thing Ever Happened

[@magicman9218]

David Cross was born looking middle aged

[@mulemule]

That likely explains his general serenity towards the world.

[@KOMalley76]

I like David Cross. I think he's funny. He's f*#king hysterical on Arrested Development.

[@M1ckTheMan]

Open flannel shirt, ripped jeans, this is from the nineties all-right!

[@MalakianM2S]

That was my closet for all my highschool years.

[@vickywillis3028]

yoshimickster he’s wearing the exact same outfit in his new stuff

[@bob333dobbs]

I had a similar experience to this when I was 11, visiting the Stanley Park Zoo in Vancouver with my parents. We were watching the polar bears along with a large crowd. This was in the summer, in the lower part of Canada, a climate foreign to polar bears, a species used to roaming for miles and not used to captivity. One of the bears turned his ass to the crowd and took a huge dump. I thought it was hilarious,but it stuck with me because I realized the bear was giving the audience the finger.

[@mulemule]

In fairness, it seems that, in fact, it really gave a crap.

[@HankBukowski]

@@mulemule All the world's a stage.

[@chilliwhiggerE]

Tampa is one of the shittiest places in the universe. There ain't shit to do there and every corner either has a strip joint, subway sandwich shop or a XXX video store. I got offered a job there last year and passed on it after a month long trail run.

[@BobFrichtel]

This is similar to "The Aristocrats;" the joke isn't the punch line, it's the telling of the tale.

[@wrongshirts7375]

i love david cross voice... its soft.

[@TruthFister8600]

yeah, I live in jacksonville, fl. I've traveled to tampa a good couple of times since I've moved. I whole heartedly agree w/David Cross about Tampa, there isn't shit to do there. Boring as fuck.

[@mannyabreu]

I live in Tampa... Everything he said about the city is absolutely true haha

[@fugepoo]

i waiting on Raleigh Fingers a couple times at Red Robin(terrible company, don't eat there) in Las Vegas. Bad Tipper.

[@tayloreh]

David Cross should play Elton John in a biopic! OMG

[@user-tw8kt1gs3u]

What He didn't kill his brother He didn't

[@davidcross53]

Why don't I remember this?

[@Underpantsniper]

Because you are stupid.

[@michaelgrant2578]

Because you were high. I was definitely high when I first saw this in the 90's. I am surprised that I remembered the details as well as I did. I was telling my son about this story and looked it up. Thanks for the laughs.

[@victoor_1]

Ur David Cross, *the* OG too much funny memories!

[@drewr4353]

I’m sorry but Tampa is the shit..if it sucks so bad then why do so many people move here?? Because everyday is a vacation an you can live in any type of area you desire..

[@GriffGriffin]

If none of you like David Cross, why did you go to the effort of typing his name on the youtube search bar and leaving a negative comment on his video? I don't know about you, but I think youtube works when you search for people you DO like.

[@ktothec24]

Game Griffin it came in my queue because I’m a fan of comedy. But this was not very funny . I hope Davis cross’ comedy has evolved since this

[@AlexBarbag]

Same. I was watching something else and it autoplayed.

[@bobbycigarillo]

I'm from Tampa and he's not wrong, its the toilet of America

[@liquidbabydoll2]

David Cross is a great stand up comic

[@RealCoolGuy]

I'm from Tampa Bay... I agree 100%!! Tampa sucks... although Busch Gardens is pretty awesome...

[@TruthFister8600]

+ I was pissed when I made that aforementioned comment and wasn't thinking about what I was saying. I hate it when you say something weird and you don't realize what you said until afterward. fuckin awkward :\ and yeah I've heard other people mention the extreme liberals. Whether it be conservative or liberal, extremism in any form of politics is against what I believe in. damn I'm high to make this long a response hahah thanks for the heads up about what I may run into in Oregon.

[@halfeatenface]

Your name is 1991stacy, which means you are too young to have lived in the days when people had a real sense of humor. However, this is definitely not David Cross' best work, and I don't blame you for not liking it. You should look up "Mr. Show", that's where most people heard of him (and its epically funny).

[@M1ckTheMan]

@Ajarvis747 It's one thing to insult a good comedian. BUT DOUBLE POST?! Do you have no morals at all sir?

[@SlapDatCow]

Don't get why people laughed when he said 'I call it the funniest thing I've seen' What's funny about saying that? I hate idiots who laugh at anything. He is real funny but damn he only said I call it the funnies thing I've seen n people laugh, typical Americans.

[@axsmedia]

@LooneyM3 Arrested Development. Buy all the of the seasons on DVD for yourself and everyone you know, watch it all 3 times in a row (because you will miss a lot of the jokes the first time around), then come back here and thank me.

[@tpstrat14]

he said "between 5 and 108 and nothing in between" twice.... why not polish up your act and actually be a good comedian, you know? I mean, he's really funny, it's just a shame he has no confidence in himself

[@1991stacy]

I'm sorry but that was not comedy. It was like your friend telling you something funny that had happened but a comedian doing it as a bit doesn't work. Or at least that's how I feel about it.

[@carolinaSolid19]

Am I retarded for personally making the decision to not watch a 6 minute KZbin video and then sarcastically using an internet colloquialism to explain why not? Yes, I guess I am retarded.

[@TheOneCleanHippy]

@CitySkin09 you missed half the joke. "A Jewish kid goes up to his father and asks for $5. His father says $4? What do you need $3 for? Here's $2, give a dollar to your brother."

[@HWingo]

Sorry, dude. Funny is funny, and that made me laugh. From the way you put it, it sure sounded like you were implying that Tampa's a hellhole compared to Jax. Don't take it personally.

[@KingDavidANC]

@undergroundamericana No. You have to be intelligent to appreciate intelligent comedians' humor. This is a bit less intelligent compared to most of his stuff.

[@tpstrat14]

Holy shit that wasn't funny. Maybe if he hadn't stalled so much. I think it would have been twice as funny if he cut the length of the bit in half.

[@TheRosenbergTrials]

@CitySkin09 joke goes: "forty dollars? what do you need thirty dollars for? listen, if i had 20 dollars, id give you ten, so here's five".

[@KingDavidANC]

@RealCoolFreakinGuy What do you talking about? All of the sub-jokes (Joke within a joke?) leading up to it just add to the comedy.

[@chevrier233]

@lethalintents wow bro, that must be exciting for you. God knows theres not A MILLION other people with that name.

[@undergroundamericana]

@amedice11 you have to be intelligent to like the comedian that tells jokes about elephants pissing on people?

[@joab757]

TAMPA, the worst place in the world, where there is nothing to do...so...we went to Bush Gardens...uh...bro...we don’t have a stop light in our town. I would have to drive 20 minutes to even find a Walmart. Oh...and it snows 8 months a year. When it is hot, it’s 90 with 100 degree humidity. So.....

[@amedice11]

@Ajarvis747 Yeah, you have to actually be intelligent to like him. It's okay though, it's not your fault.

[@JohnWayneColt45]

sheriff Bull Conner would of been happy haha what an obscure reference.David rocks,

[@lblitzer]

@benjaminpaige lol he's admitted himself that he only does shitty movies on purpose for the money

[@1991stacy]

@Hurricane333 Just because we don't find him funny here doesn't mean we don't like him in general.

[@boourns86]

David Cross is funny. This joke, not so much. Nothing to see here, move along.

[@HWingo]

And you live in Jacksonville, right? That's the funniest comment on KZbin.

[@randyj420]

one of my favorite recorded bits of his

[@MECHDread]

Not funny? geesh, I laughed my ass off. ah well, takes all kinds i sappose.

[@CitySkin09]

A Jewish kid goes up to his father and hits him up for fifty dollars. The dad said "Forty dollars?! Are you outta your mind? What are you gonna do with thirty dollars?"

[@Duane57557]

Norm Macdonald? Did he say that?

[@TheFootOfGold]

@benjaminpaige WHAT THE FUUUCK DID YOU JUST SAY ABOUT DANR COOK!!!!???

[@TruthFister8600]

+the people drive either 20 mph below the speed limit, or 20mph above.

[@KathNielandWWEfan2006]

Ian from Alvin and the Chipmunks

[@thomasjohnson3841]

This is the guy who dissed Larry the cable guy for being anti intellectual?

[@91Ducky]

what is this show, can you get it on dvd or anything anywhere?

[@DanielLDees]

Todd Margaret Rules!

[@GhilliedUp]

Not funny. Watched it until 4 minutes and I couldn't go on.

[@capt_howdy]

I fell asleep at the beginning of the joke, but woke up 5 minutes later just in time to hear the punchline...and still didn’t laugh.

[@personcheese1234]

i live in tampa bay and it is pretty shitty

[@Mr_Wiley]

What a gem to be able to have experienced that, high on top of that. That's a hard story to top.

[@collateralus]

@tomsaint316 not sure if troll....

[@SamNPine]

Gob gave you a forget-me-now pill.

[@GriffGriffin]

OFrostO09 - you're missing the point. If you don't like it, don't watch it.

[@VGAfanatic]

Y'know that thing they say about elephants never forgetting? You're welcome.

[@UnknownSun556]

38 people are from Tampa Bay.

[@AlexOkeefeIsJazz]

It might have been the funniest thing that ever happened but the story of it isn't. Much love to Cross but this was dreadfully long winded

[@docfabz]

tampa bay shout out! I think there's more things to do now though

[@bobbycigarillo]

Not really

[@jlamb15]

That wasnt even funny

[@442Mustang]

On my test papers for gcse they had some number that was something like 6/6/6 on it on joke. I don't know if this code was on all the papers but it was on every one of mine

[@IntoTheLight7777]

Men in black dude.

[@Ajarvis747]

Worse comidian ever

[@twatwaffler2222]

Bad grammar is always funny to see, but when a video title is botched it`s extra special. Kudos, dingus.

[@supernothing77]

Chicken pot pie?

[@bossfan49]

This is terrible.

[@matz107]

Terrible delivery

[@boourns86]

@benjaminpaige I saw an interview where he tried to justify it. He acknowledged that it was a sellout, but said that it paid basically more than anything else he's ever done combined, and it's allowed him to be in a position financially that he can pick and choose what work he takes now.. In unrelated news, David Cross to star in Alvin and the Chipmunks 3 through 14... In his defense, it's a children's show, and there is no such thing as an "indie" kids show. Why would you watch it anyways?

[@TruthFister8600]

yeah, that's what I've heard. and dead on about florida . I'm hoping that my music career will do better when I move out to the west, as there is a far more lucrative music scene out there. sorry bout the nambla joke, after looking at the comment it didn't go over well. I had Zach Galafinakis' joke in mind about how it's hard to get a table for one at chucky cheese's (purple onion dvd). I'm sure I'll be annoyed by the different set of problems out there but I'll sure be glad to leave the south.

[@kladewilson598]

This is awful.

[@ryankdunne]

He's not saying this is the funniest thing in the world ever, he's saying its the funniest thing he's ever seen personaly. Everybody has the one story that tickles them but nobody else. You might get a haha...yeah outta telling the story, but you still think its the funniest thing ever.

[@awholebunchofcats]

Fuckin 90's man

[@benstolz7979]

This is 1996...

[@Skottink]

Mr peta joke

[@C1570M]

NEXT TO WHAT?

[@NewAgeEagles]

@Adam67890 unlike alot of american comedians, i think you'll find that this style is very simaler to almost every british comedian

[@thewriter1008]

Said a man who had never heard of Dane Cook, Larry the Cable Guy, or Daniel Tosh. "That's nice," said a man who envied his good fortune.

[@RealCoolGuy]

@oneirishpoet That doesn't even make sense... I see you share Cross' sense of humour...

[@cagdassalur]

not funny

[@Neurotripsicks]

It appears someone hasn't been to Tampa Bay...

[@Adam67890]

Hence, "his bits are based on the premise of opening his audience's eyes." I know not what he is most interested, nor would I assume that you do either. I can say for sure that he does indeed seem--at least to an audience--to be interested in both making us laugh while broadening our perspectives as well.

[@schlaghappy]

as someone who had the miss fortune to grow up in tampa i can say with 100 percent certainty that old people are very slow

[@JonMcAlpineOfficial]

the way he described Tampa, its more like the best place in the world, weed would grow nice there !

[@TheFootOfGold]

@MetalAnonym0us So I think someone is funny and you don't. I think since I find humor in something I win this argument.

[@iplaywithrocksforfun]

the entire logistics of this joke are based on delivery and strategic english composition.. He is a pro with using semi intelligent story frame up until the punchline.. where here he delivers with an flawless slue of adjectives of the elephants pussy.. that right there is the climax. then he settles the joke down but still shakes you with a conclusion to wrap the story up

[@quasiphatpaul]

Agreed it's good okay David Cross but this was probably the middle of an hour show.

[@Jcolinsol]

Who knew that the funniest thing was an elephant pissing on Floridians?

[@1991stacy]

@halfeatenface Thanks! I am watching some of them right now and they're just hilarious. I thought he was funny before (ie. arrested development) I just wasn't into this clip.

[@Adam67890]

Unlike a lot of comedians, however this is because all of his bits are based on the premise of opening his audience's eyes. This is most often done by him employing an elaborate anecdote or simple truth that leads up to the gut-bursting and revealing truth.

[@bakersfieldmusicnow]

most awesome.! great job.! man i got one....i guess i gotta make a video now....hmmm...it was DAMN funny.

[@charlesdahmital8095]

Paton Oswald concurs with your florida sentiment.

[@TreyBugatti]

Busch Gardens has gotten better since then

[@SethHesio]

I think if he told the same joke today and established that they were high from the beginning... this would be a lot funnier

[@HWingo]

It's all good. I know what it's like. I hope your move goes awesomely well. Meanwhile, keep breathing.

[@osencan]

The portents of doom..

[@rainspeaker1]

I mean, it's understandable when it's the top comment.

[@annieodell4640]

If this is the funniest thing that he's ever seen, WHAT is he doing in comedy?

[@arron21000]

Well thank you random citizen. And I was born this awesome, so its impossible to not be this awesome