Dear Estranged Moms...

[@estrangedparents]

Parents, how do you feel about letting go? 💌 STAY IN TOUCH us.estrangedparents.me/join

[@maritrnning5357]

Very Sad..grieving every day for many years.... no children, no grandchildren, nothing to look forward to, nothing to be glad over. Only thing left are self-condamning- non stop. The comforting are that they all 3 have good lives, good jobs and great families, nice "stuff" so --- goodbye forever - se you "on the other side" But God.

[@stupensardi2783]

I just can't bring myself to let go 😭 I feel it's like saying I don't love you anymore 😢

[@misstmemrs]

1. Communication. 2. We or the child! may have mental illness, unknown what can be fixed 3. Critical thinking and problem solving 4. Ethics, morality, clear rules When the British therapist attacks, instead of saying “I don’t care”, which is an appeal to emotions, what could you say that may be more mature or helpful? Emotional thinking can be irrational. How about demonstrating critical thinking and asking her more questions, for clarity? How about making assertions and backing them up with data that supports them? The British therapist is not clear about how she thinks parents should behave. What are the clear codes of conduct, in her mind? Is that true that parents need to be accountable, responsible, and apologize? For what? Their “part”? What specific behavioral detail are we discussing? What does the adult child believe about these apologies? Lisa Romano said of her father apologized, he would be admitting to being the evil monster, and her integrity would force her to abandon him. She said she believes this is why he doesn’t apologize. Alienated children with a psychosis tend to believe the alienated parent doesn’t say they are sorry. This may not be true. They may expect apologies when they did nothing wrong. False accusations and rigid beliefs and moving the goal posts is part of the dynamic. Good therapists discuss one thing at a time. They keep an open mind. Both people can have blind spots and flaws and foibles. Assuming an estranged parent is the sickest party may not be true. This British therapist claims estranged adult children always make sense. She also says that even psychopaths are nice to parents who are nice to them. Then she asks people to buy her classes. The ethics of psychology are worth considering. There is a list. Good psychologists understand they may be blind by their own biases, they know psychotics and psychopaths can fool trained therapists, the understand cognitive distortions. The childish cognitive distortions the British psychologists plays are disturbing. There is a book about sociopaths that discusses this problem with some psychologists. Many parents are dealing with young people who seem to have joined a cult, and make accusations using empty rhetoric. They spar with troll salad. Like tyrannical dictators, they behave arrogantly, missatuned, unreasonable, and seem schitzofrenic. Sometimes they are reflecting how their parents talked to them. And sometimes there are other influences. The extreme social unrest and economy and uncertainty and polarized politics in this country, along with a pandemic, and loads of KZbin con artists using sick influence techniques, may all be contributing to these issues. Long term influences in academia and certain extremist belief systems also can be very powerful forces for “change”. The British psychologist does not make sense. She often distorts reality with cognitive distortions and logical fallacies, and other devices. She opines on things her betters do not. There’s a reason for that. She is isolated in the tropics, far from home. Why? There are high rates of psychologists with cluster b disorders. She demonstrates her own pathological splitting and misuse of power, triangulating among parents and children, while she imagines she has the answers, down the rabbit hole. It is elementary to gather the data before analyzing, and making judgements. Common horse sense means listening to both sides, and observing how the parties communicate with one another. Grandiose psychotics like that British woman seem to imagine themselves the loving mother of the universe, who claims to understand problems and solutions that she obviously has an awfully hard time describing to us “stupid American inferiors”. Americans whose most tragic stories she exploits with click bait, and discusses with an authoritarian omniscient certainty, mixed with primitive and confused babble. This is my assertion. The examples are legion. She needs to check herself. Take her own advice. Freedom certainly lies in that general direction. Bottom line! Parents have the human right to publicly share their experience, strength, hope, and values. It is understandable if they attempt to make conscious contact or to set an example of what that actually is. Rigid dictates that parents who try to reach out a few times are violating boundaries and proving they are toxic subhumans, are evidence of ignorance, stupidity, or psychosis. Refusing to notice that the parent is walking a tight rope and everything she says is twisted and spun into a sign of pathology is what is toxic abuse. Fake news. Expecting tolerance while acting like fascist psychotics is not a nice look. What she effectively does is escalate like a common gangster. If Diane’s daughter finds her parents that “toxic”, then she could share incidents one at a time and discuss clear codes of conduct, shared core values, and functional grievance procedures. If she thinks her parents are “alien creatures who need to be eliminated”, what are the accusations, and did she give them rights of due process? Did she listen to their defense, engage in a reasonable and fair minded and good faith dialogue, and humbly and honestly attempt to seek truth and find meaning and understanding together? What are her perceptions, thoughts, feelings, preferences, demands, beliefs, values, and hopes? We don’t know. What does she understand about politics, economics, psychosocial dynamics, and family dysfunction? We do not know. And either does the intrusive psychologist.

[@bunnielynn777]

I wish that you would post a poll for this channel asking estranged parents if their estranged children are 1. Seeing a counselor? 2. Taking antidepressants? 3. Taking any sort of possible mind altering medication? Reason being, I noticed a huge change in my 13 year old Grandson when his doctor placed him on an antidepressant. I began looking into it & discovered how it affects the frontal lobe. He lost all interest in church & God. That’s the part of the brain that is responsible for our feelings of love & intimacy. Praise God, my daughter has had him taken off that medication. But, I dread to think of the possible affects, had he continued taking it. I would not be at all surprised to learn that these estranged children are taking some sort of medication that has caused them to feel the way they do. The only sad thing is that you would probably never be able to convince them to stop taking the medication’s or just stop seeing the counselor that has prescribed them. But, you may take solace in knowing that it maybe medication that is the cause for their behavior.

[@bunnielynn777]

@@maritrnning5357 so very sorry, I will add you as marit on my prayer list, God knows who you are & that’s what really matters. I will pray for you & your family daily till Jesus returns or till I pass, whichever comes first.

[@mael2039]

The most fascinating part to me is when you only hear the side of the parent and only what they want you to hear and you still absolutely understand why the daughter had to do what she did. And that without hearing the side of the daughter at all or without seeing what this mum is like when she isn't heavily editing her video

[@AnnaGrace603]

I hear about this heartbreak and anger of estranged parents. This is exactly how I felt when I poured my heart out to my mother. I shared about my pain, how I felt used and abused. How I didnt dare to tell her my honest feelings due to lack of trust. Her response: nothing. She asked me it I want to go to the Museum with her (to play pretend like she never hurt me) She didnt like the honest adult child that has more self respect now and sets healthy boudaries with her. She wanted me to continue to play pretend and love HER and be a good daughter and suppress my emotions like i did my entire life. When I drove home my heart ached. 💔 and I was ANGRY. Another day I came again cause I wanted to tell her everything. She just shut me down. She didnt even cared to listen. It was horrible for me. All the pain she put me through....she didnt even care to listen because she hates feeling any shame or guilt. So the heartbreak and anger you feel.....this is probably just the same pain your child went through. There is a law in relationships. WE often set up people to feel how we feel. So maybe ....now you feel how your child felt in a relationship with you. I believe oftentimes children love their mothers more than the other way around. There is no one who will need you as much a vulnerable, completely dependant child....children really love you and really really need you. So if a child breaks away. You most likely caused them much much pain. My mother hurt me deeply. I miss her a lot. I cry a lot. But I will not sacrifise my self respect in order to be close to her. The distance causes me mental health issues. Thats how much I love my mother and how much I worry about how the distance is affecting her. But she made me feel like crap under her shoes.....and does not want to take responsibility.

[@charlenetijerina4664]

Well said. My mother was a very kind person with integrity but I was neglected and rejected by her. I myself did the best I could as a mother but now looking back-Oh my how I made mistakes that hurt them or didn't validate them. All I want to do is validate their experiences, own up to it and beg them to learn from my mistakes and for me to be better!

[@missnoreen50]

Thank you for this input. I grew up with a lot of shame and guilt which although I went to therapy for years and expressed my childhood but therapist just wanted me to focus on my strengths.

[@AnnaGrace603]

​@@Esme-gf4jd thank you for your response. I hear you yet I feel like I would disown and disrespect an important part of myself If I simply suppress my emotions and "get over" how I feel about my mom. It is a very bypassing dismissive advice "to not bring that up anymore." Yes my Mom was never heard or validated....but neither was I in my childhood! That is why I developed borderline, depression, addiction and suicidal ideation. So my Mom can insult me, manipulate me, take me for granted and abuse my over giving people pleasing nature and Im supposed to be quite about it and not bring that up?! Is that fair?! Who is that benefiting? Sure my mom loves me. But it looks like she loves her pride much more and it looks like does not give a shit about how painful her dismissal is to me

[@AnnaGrace603]

​@@dansoelberg to be honest that response felt somewhat dismissive to me. I know the person means well. But I think its kinda unfair towards the children to give parents a free pass for their abuse and neglect and free them from any accountability and request the children to simply cater to their limitations to your own demise

[@fatuusdottore]

@@Esme-gf4jdOkay, no one listened to the daughter either, from the sounds of it. And where do you learn those skills from, when no one taught you how? From empathy. No ons taught me how to basically have to be a parent to my sister. I had to learn because no one else would.

[@Ale33810]

No more excuses, show us the letter. Until then, all of this is just rumors and your bitterness. Show us all that we are wrong. But you won't. Because you know damn well she is right, and even if you think her reasoning is not valid, you also know damn well that we all will validate her. Go to therapy

[@CuteDiglettTimeCDT]

agreed, and I'm sure the letter outlines the "missing missing reasons" that have so far eluded this content creator.

[@Rola6jkTi8POACH]

exactly, she is still trying to blame and guilt trip the child with all what she "did" for the child. Of course she didnt do anything wrong. Total denial no responsiblity nothing.

[@Deepthoughts4ever]

She has zero ability for self reflection. You had feedback. “The letter” needs to me examined by you and taken to heart and not just dismissed.

[@bluecoffee8414]

​@CuteDiglettTimeCDT Her "narration" of the letter bugged me. 1. Mom chose this extremely childish voice to 'narrate' the letter. It's clearly not mom's voice. So she went out of her way to find some VERY childish voice to 'read' the letter. 2. The 'little girl' voice narrating the letter is also garbled together so the words run over each other. Making it sound like a garbled mess is like the mom signalling "What I'm hearing is just 'blah blah blah. buzzword. blah blah.'" 3. Mom only includes tiny snippets of sentences in the letter. Not a single sentence or coherent thought of the daughter is acknowledged or portrayed in the narration. Again mom seems to portray it as "she threw out some buzzwords. 'gas-lit.' 'guilt-tripping' and some other blah-blah." 4. Mom claims 90% of the letter was about political differences. Yet none of that is in the snippets of the letter she narrated. Even if true, mom never addresses the 10% that she DID narrate from the letter: Daughter's feelings of being 'gas-lit' and 'guilt-tripped' "her whole life" for example.

[@maus0liam]

you are a stalker at this point

[@jednicholscrippleddrunk2161]

my mom is also delusional

[@ThatOddChickenHippie]

You don't get credit for feeding, sheltering, clothing, and attempting to guide your children; that is a job that YOU signed up for. That kid didnt ask to be born. Your children don't owe you anything for that. No child WANTS to go no contact with their parent, but sometimes it is necessary becaus eof harmful behaviors that the parent refuses to even listen to much less address. Eventually, just like one might leave an abusive or toxic spouse, they have to make that decision to leave and not look back because staying will only cause them more perminant harm. Please, seek therapy and do somw true introspection. If you can show that you are recognizing what may have pushed them away and are working on getting better, they MAY be willing to slowly reestablish contact to some degree if not fully; my siblings did.

[@ThatOddChickenHippie]

@AnnaSzabo she mentioned in another video that her daughter sent her a letter that was "angry" and a few other choice adjectives. Never shared what a single thing that was brought up in the letter at all, and that was likely because her daughter's points were valid and would discredit the victim narrative that narcissists LOVE to spin about themselves. I would know, I was raised by one, and she still does this exact same thing, just not as frequently now because it nearly cost her a relationship with all of us

[@flau70]

This person is the best argument for going no-contact imaginable. Complete lack of self-awareness as well. No shock that her domain is .me. Cause it’s all about her.

[@jaydas8976]

Couldn’t have said it better 👏🏾👏🏾

[@sillyredhead1401]

Exactly, so many of the bare minimums to the requirement to be a parent. It absolutely doesn't mean you're a "good" parent just cause you bought them things, or "put a roof over their head" or "fed them." What about emotional regulation?? What about sitting with them and letting them tell you their experience with you as a parent without denying, dismissing, or shaming them for their VERY REAL experience. No parent gets to say what their child feels, or thinks, or experienced PERIOD. It's the entire basis of this narcissist view in life. These "estranged parents" believe that their version of reality is all there ever is which is SO damaging when "raising" children. Those children are made responsible for their own parents feelings, their parents self-worth, and parentified. Their children were expected to be adults the moment they were born and it's time these "parents" face the truth that they don't own their children. Period!

[@toniawhitaker9697]

I totally give my parents credit for doing ALL that they did for me, because I have learned to be a grateful person. I have developed an attitude of gratitude. Some people have a problem with gratitude nowadays. They neither feel it nor do they express it. Too many people have a victim mentality not realizing that when you practice gratitude, it totally changes the way you see yourself, the world and everyone in it. It's not a given that all moms will take care of their children. I personally know some young moms today who are so caught up in their phones that they are completely neglecting their kids. Some parents are alcoholics, drug addicts, and abusers. So no it's not a given that all parents will make sacrifices for their kids or even do the bare minimum. But some parents do their best to do their very best, and even if their own children aren't appreciative, I am. Because they didn't HAVE to. They weren't REQUIRED to. There was no one MAKING them do what they did. Most parents did what they did with hearts full of love. They did their best. And I thank them. We're all just grown up kids doing the best we can with the resources we have. Some people have mental health issues and they maybe can't always do as good of a job being a parent as those who don't have mental health issues. But they do their best with what they have. I thank them. Some parents are cold because they've never known warmth. It's a foreign concept to them. They did the best they could with the resources they had. I thank them. Some parents did a terrible job and some didn't even try. I'm grateful for all parents everywhere. I thank them. Because of them life continues on. Because of them our species hasn't died out. Because of them we all get the opportunity to experience life on this beautiful earth 🌎 and I, for one, am very grateful for my life experience. The good and the bad. I'm thankful for all you parents out there, no matter if you did a good job at it or not. Because of all you parents out there, we are all here to express our opinions and to experience this life!! Thank you!!! And to all you children who are not parents yet, I'm thankful for you as well. We're all here together at this time in history and I'm thankful for each and every one of you both those who are parents and those who aren't parents. We're all beautiful humans doing the best we can with the resources we have. Be blessed ❤

[@MountainSilver]

"blindsided" is a good word for it. I noticed that most moms that their adult kids left them dont have the emotional capacity to analyze any wrongdoing on their part.

[@livejadelive]

Really though. "I did the best I could, of course I wasn't perfect! The good outweighs the bad! Being a mother is hard, I had it so hard!" is about as deep as the "empathy" and self reflection is able to go it seems.

[@CassilovesMocha]

That's narcissistic behavior. Not everyone is a narcissist but everyone can have narcissistic traits. Diane ("mom" in this video) is a perfect example of this.

[@Violetsareblue092]

@@crossedwires2629it’s because they have never once considered how their child feels. It’s all about them and their feelings are the only correct ones in their world. All I ever hear them talk about is their own pain. Just zero empathy or introspection. I’ve also noticed they tend to project a lot because they literally can’t think from any other perspective. Like this woman really started off her original video with her daughter’s heartfelt letter detailing exactly why she went no contact, completely ignoring everything she said, and failing to express a single concern of her daughter’s feelings, then spends the rest of the video saying “I have no idea why my daughter doesn’t want to talk to me anymore. Why is she ignoring me? Why doesn’t she care about my feelings?” and apparently failed to see any irony in that. It’s almost comical how little self awareness they have. Like I’m embarrassed for these parents that have the emotional intelligence of a 5 year old.

[@fiat2496]

so true. WHen I confronted my abusive father about his verbal and physical abuse he angrily said to me: "SO youre saying I was a bad father?!?!" I said "YOU PUSHED ME DOWN THE STAIRS!!!!" (true story) He was completely oblivious to the fact that pushing your kid down the basement stairs isn't good parenting.

[@moniquewrites9046]

I think instead of blindsided, it should be emotional neglect. Because this mom emotionally neglected her daughter, and did not allow her daughter to have feelings, she could not sense her feelings or emotions as a human being. Because of this, the parent felt blindsided, but the signs were there all along. The parent also has a Complex that believes that they can treat their child however they want and still demand undying loyalty from them. Blindsided is not the proper term for this. It’s emotional unawareness and borderline emotional neglect. The term is not blindsided it’s oblivious *Credit Fiat

[@jokas7732]

Of all the things I hear, not one is a genuine heartfelt apology for the terrible pain you caused. I’ve noticed estranged parents tend to be the kind of people who are unable to apologize.

[@susansprague8781]

What pain are you accusing her of causing?

[@Rola6jkTi8POACH]

they dont take accountability and blameshift. Thats why the daughter left. This woman is obviously lying. I guess she is controlling and manipulative. Abuse is a very good reason to leave.

[@LisaEggs]

Serious question: What terrible pain????

[@UnhappyGuest-oo6lb]

As someone who has estranged from my mother who is a definite narcissist we met with a therapist together… she never wanted to get help..If you truly wanna be in your daughters life ask her if she’s willing to meet you in therapy or you go to a therapist and start working on yourself after getting properly diagnose. If you truly want your daughter back that’s all you have to do but I know for a fact that that’s not what you’re going to do because you don’t think you have any problem. I guess if there is no problem there’s no solution. I do highly respect the fact that you did any research and read books on the subject but why not even go to a therapist and see what they think

[@luluadapa5222]

❤

[@amytrenary8997]

This woman has reached out to her daughter many times. Silince. Here's a plot twist... the daughter is the narcissist. She expects perfection from her mother. That is cruel and unfair.

[@SuperSirri]

@@amytrenary8997How do you know that?

[@agentagent2241]

How about the possibility that both are highly narcissistic and that's why they clash?

[@Anouke79]

@@SuperSirri She doesn't. She's projecting.

[@linden5165]

No. If there has been abuse or emotional neglect then the good does not outweigh the bad. Imagine you prepared 100 meals for someone. But just one contained a toxic dose of arsenic. The 99 without arsenic do NOT mean the one time you poisoned someone is automatically forgiveable. It requires accountability, it can not to be excused away.

[@AlvinKazu]

To me, forgiveness would come with making 100 even better meals to show they are sorry. The thing is, how do we know the other 99 meals didn't contain arsenic, just not "A toxic dose" of it? Most of us childhood abuse victims live with the 99 of 100 meals with slight toxicity, or even 99 very toxic meals and maybe 1 slighty toxic or non-toxic meal, to keep us in line, because "we love you by giving you this one non-toxic meal!"

[@luluadapa5222]

❤

[@fabreviews5576]

If a meal is poisoned with arsenic, that’s a crime and someone should report it to the police. The law defines criminal child abuse. I don’t think that’s what they are talking about here.

[@AdrianRif]

I think this is a stupid analogy.

[@UHeardMe1stTime]

Awful analogy.

[@blues7160]

When my daughter sent me a mother stay in your lane letter, I went down her letter point by point and addressed each one in an individual letter until you maybe do this and keep it between you two it may work better. Yes i was swerving all over my grown daughter’s lane. Stop going into the past, re-read her letter address what she’s saying to you mom. Much love, open your heart to what her letter said, that’s your beginning

[@Being_Bohemian]

​@lolabott 💜💜💜 So sorry you had to endure that. That's so hurtful to be on the receiving end of.

[@blues7160]

@@lolabott thank you, I have 1 daughter but shes married with her own children and it was hard for me to admit I still considered her my girl. Once she laid her boundaries down and there was a six week silence, she wrote me the letter that changed our relationship forever. I have no right to show up unannounced or make feel bad because I’m missing her. I realized I was the one with the problem. Let my daughter fly and she keeps me in line. It’s so much better. Thank you for what you said.

[@blues7160]

@@Being_Bohemian please don’t be sorry. Our relationship is 💯percent better because I forgot I grew her up to have wings to fly. Let them go don’t stalk their personal places and they will love you that much more. Thank you!

[@blues7160]

@@lolabott PS , with every generation take the things that hurt most with your parents and promise that will never happen with yours, then every generation gets better. I wish your parents would have read your letter and understood you as the individual you are. My mother was a controlling nightmare but I got to change that with the next generation. Keep standing your ground, be you!

[@Being_Bohemian]

​@@blues7160Just to clarify, my comment was to lolabott above!

[@Universallawtruth]

Do you talk to your Mom? Sometimes we treat others as our mothers treated us.

[@luluadapa5222]

❤

[@vettechsrule]

I can't talk to my Mom, she is dead. Her sins were 3 times mine. Still grateful I did not do this to her. I would be beside myself.

[@ravenmckinnon5526]

Troll

[@LinNoOne]

At 2:30 some valid reasons for No Contact are listed: undiagnosed mental illness, "bad things" a parent did, mistakes, sexual, physical, verbal abuse (ongoing only!). Notice what's missing, like they don't even exist: neglect and emotional abuse. Missing missing reasons . . .

[@vee8647]

Then she provides reassurance to parents who are second guessing themselves in situations where they "yelled too much for the situation and didn't apologize, shook them, spanked them when you shouldn't." You know, since you didn't put them up for adoption and took them to Disneyland. It's so transparent, it's painful.

[@luluadapa5222]

❤

[@TheChickenRiceBowl]

Ongoing only? As in sexual, physical, and verbal abuse are all fine so long as it’s “just a little”? Jesus Christ, Satan’s gonna have a field day with this one.

[@moand7862]

These videos guarantee you'll never hear from her again . Interesting, it's more important for you to be right than to respect your daughters request for space.

[@frankiebabieee]

Your child didn’t get a choice to be in relationship with you. Now, you don’t have a choice to be in relationship with them. That’s equity.

[@gutsandgrittv5076]

Parents aren’t obligated to keep any child. Never forget that either.

[@jewelofthenight]

​@gutsandgrittv5076 Yeah, and there's s lot of people who would have been better off if their parents gave them over to someone more qualified. (Or, at least, in a better world where a lot of foster systems weren't also broken)

[@barbaras5874]

Nope, that is cruelty

[@frankiebabieee]

@@barbaras5874 it’s difficult to imagine both parties having a say in whether or not to be in relationship as cruelty. Could you explain?

[@barbaras5874]

@@frankiebabieee her mom was there for her all her childhood and teenage years, she did not leave her even though she may have wanted to do something else. Her mom was present and caring for her. Now her daughter doesn't want contact even though it is obviously causing her mom a lot of pain. Doesn't that sound cruel?

[@vampirewilde]

Your videos are very well produced and would've taken countless hours to film and edit. It's evident that a lot of effort has gone into them. Yet the reply you sent to your daughter after her letter was only one word - "received", which to be honest feels passive aggressive. Really I'm just wondering why you've spent so much time on these videos but couldn't spend any time addressing your daughter's points in a proper email to her. Surely that would've been more productive?

[@luluadapa5222]

❤

[@jrenee3550]

AMEN!!!!! If shed put a fraction of the time and energy spent on this on repairing the relationship through self reflection and therapy, maybe shed have her daughter in her life again or at LEAST grow as a human but nope. Has to blame everything else

[@luluadapa5222]

@@bornagain4220 My comment mysteriously disappeared!! I've subscribed to Dr Ramani and Professor Sam Vaknin for over 3 years. Their comments sections are amazing, so supportive and informative. On here, it's like fighting to be an individual all over again!!

[@luluadapa5222]

@khepresh And the comments section is AS invalidating and grandiose as the people we have had to set boundaries with!! They cannot handle any criticism, no matter how constructive or informative. Those who have no introspection will never change... they think that they don't need to. I wish I was half as perfect as them!

[@AdrianRif]

@@khepresh “I have never see anyone do that”- Really? That reveals fake sentiment to me. You clearly are a virtue signaller and judgemental.

[@jokas7732]

To me these videos are almost satire, like is this a Saturday Night Live sketch? Calling your baby and toddler “it”, the non apologies. It’s super obvious why some children become estranged, because they feel you never have respected them as a whole person. They are an “it”. When they were little they were a whole human.

[@rachc5496]

Agree. I felt sick after hearing that.

[@NR-yd2ey]

If you love your daughter just leave her alone and move on. You won't because you need to be right.

[@barbaras5874]

People with a heart find it difficult to just move on. She loves her daughter deeply. It is unending pain.

[@NR-yd2ey]

@@barbaras5874 Clearly, her daughter has a heart and that's why she moved on.

[@amytrenary8997]

Do you have children?? This is not a friendship that's run its course. This is a precious part of yourself. No one moves on. They just learn to reside with the pain. The new reality. It is exactly how a parent would feel if their child died. You would have compassion for that parent but none for this mom??

[@barbaras5874]

@@amytrenary8997 I agree. It is incredible how easily they throw these precious relationships away. It seems to me like they are just disposing of a piece of rubbish in their minds, not a living human being who loves them but isn't perfect. As if they themselves are perfect. I just hope their own children dispose of them when they make a mistake or can't be a perfect parent. Really sad state of affairs.

[@Sinklebarn]

@@barbaras5874 i’m assuming your mother yourself. Look at the comment you just wrote, you sound eerily similar to my mother. Wishing that your future grandkids dispose of their parents… Disgusting behavior. And then people wonder why their kids do what they do. This woman’s daughter loved herself enough to prioritize her peace and well-being. This mother’s rhetoric and yours confirms the actions of the child to be justified.

[@eireannmful]

The items in your con column may be smaller in number to the pro column but are you assessing the severity of those things listed? Ego and inability to be truly honest with oneself can really destroy relationships.

[@RockingRebelYell]

Let me tell you something everyone here has been telling you. Learn to take accountability and stop cherry picking/shifting blame to your daughter. If you want to really heal the relationship with her I doubt you constantly looking at everything else but your own actions isn’t helping. There are things we can change and cant change. If you continue to choose to take no responsibility you’re right that relationship will NEVER change. Your generation cries at us to grow up when are you gonna grow up and realize your judgmental attitude for one seems to be a huge reason for you being left out of your daughters life.

[@elizarosalind]

When she is listing out all the good things she did as a mum…. I’m sorry, that is what every well meaning parent does. It doesn’t mean you did it right. And at the end of the day if you clash and you are toxic to her she has every right to cut you off. I feel I relate with your daughter. A lot of emotional blackmail coming from this woman. I recognise this from my own situation.

[@ashleyhardin576]

Cutting contact with my mom has literally nothing to do with how good or bad of a mother she was when I was growing up. Nothing to do with the candy I wanted as a kid, or yelling more than she should've when I was a kid. It's the type of person she is now. It's how she treats me now. I think that is why your daughter cut contact with you as well. It's the person you are now, and not wanting to work on that. Nah, just blame the past.

[@NicoleEggear]

Because thats what a mom is supposed to do

[@Octobris]

If I was the daughter, I'd legitimately consider getting a restraining order which specifies this woman cannot make those videos anymore.

[@Hotelyorba]

Well, someone tell this person that children didn’t ask to be here? They don’t owe her shit. She wants a big pat on the back for doing what she was supposed to do as a parent? She is so self-absorbed and only cares about herself. If you only care about yourself, don’t have children.

[@pamelahawn9300]

Honestly, I don't hate my COVERT NARCISSIST MOM. I JUST REALIZED I COULDN'T HEAL STAYING IN CONTACT WITH HER. SHE ALWAYS Played the victim. I now realize She was the victimizer. Even now she tells everyone she cut off contact with me. She taught me to hate myself, criticizing the things she hated about herself. She used me to be a Procter parent to my siblings at the age of 7. I never had a childhood. She metered out my food. I was hungry all the time. She bragged about how I ate raw potatoes and onions. Yes just like concentration camp Jews in WW2 a potato was valuable for nutrition. I supplemented my diet with fruit trees and handouts from neighbors. I was molested so many times as a child. She did NOTHING TO PROTECT ME OR STAND UP FOR ME. She denies the abuse now. I looked like my father, who she hated. She left me home alone most of the time and took my 1/2 siblings everywhere. She took me with her when she was trying to attract other men. Normally it would be in a hotel with a pool. I dressed as a teen in a bikini. She financially abused me. I was buying almost all of my clothing and other needs by the time I was 16. She kicked me out of the house at 17. I didn't get to graduate until I was 23. I had 2 brothers take their own life at 16 and 21. One told her he was going to kill himself, She said "Go ahead. And take me with you." The other one was living on the streets and she refused to allow him to go home or to support him. ( He was the other child she hated.) So maybe you should take a look inside yourself to see how abusive you were to your estranged children. I ghosted my MOM 3xs before finally ghosting her completely. When I asked her the truth about my childhood, she said " You sure got a vivid imagination." Or "Where did you dream that up?" For me all the pieces of information I had stored as a child made sense. The puzzle fell into place. I understand why she did what she did. I also realize her put-downs, jealousy and hatred towards me affected my life. I am healed from the residual treatments and ways she abused me. Emotionally, physically, sexually, ( by not protecting me when I reported sexual abuse and how she pushed me around men (so she could attract them.) My MOM is completely delusional in the abuse she dished out to me! I suspect you are the same. Toxic people want to blame others for ALL THEIR PROBLEMS. DO YOU EVER ADMIT YOU HAD PROBLEMS? NO! 😢

[@Rola6jkTi8POACH]

you are right, trust your instincts. This woman is delusional and doesnt want to take accountability, for her toxic behaviours. As human being you have the right to be treated with respect and dignity from your parents, and not with abuse. If verbal or physical abuse is all you got, the act of going no contact is just self protection.

[@lial2713]

Pamela I am so sorry. I'm glad that you are sharing, you have insight, you are healing and you have extreme strength. There are other people like you. It's hard to have a mom but not have a mom. It is so confusing. I wonder how mothers don't care . My mom hates my dad too,. I am his daughter. ???Thiis lady who is speaking here does not know why her daughter is hurt or scared of her. IPamela I hope that you can leave your mom behind and find peace and happiness. sending you love to your heart

[@ridazahra7976]

Omg now she is making a list of the things she did for her daughter. I bet she has kept all the financial records too to rub in her face. Poor girl her daughter I wish her peace.

[@marioVSN]

OMG, my mother did the 'financial record rub' more than once... they all learn from the same book and do the same things....

[@TheFrontman66]

Good lord...you are one huge waving Red Flag... let this go, move on...or are the comments and reactions all the supply you need...

[@MessIn2Message]

I feel like the entire first half of this video was this person listing all the ways her child was a burden to her. Poor kid if they heard this type of stuff their entire life because that did not sound like the first time that list was laid out. I highly doubt it was about not getting the candy they wanted but being made to feel like a burden. Instead of feeling sorry for yourselves how about admit what you truly did wrong and absolutely yes please parents learn from your mistakes, do better and let changed behavior be your "apology".

[@SallyFarmer-ue3wc]

Whaaaaat?

[@thesavagesenior2047]

Didn’t hear that at ALL!

[@MessIn2Message]

@@thesavagesenior2047 @4:50 to about 9:50 She starts out explaining the "good" things she did as a mother, at least that's the intent and how it's presented. However, given the huffing, sighing, tone of her voice, and inflections, in my opinion, starts to feel more like she wasn't happy that she had to do all those things for her child. Maybe she is upset that she did them AND did not get what she wanted back in return. You would have to have had a parent who was covertly abusive to understand when they are complaining about you all the while making it sound like something else. It's a form of dog whistling. Also, I have to say, that the things she says go into the "pro" column don't go into the pro column if the parent did them with resentment and complaining while doing them. And to my point, when a parent treats the kid(s) like a burden while doing those things it turns into a con.

[@crushynn90]

I think you’re on the wrong page.

[@teresak6463]

I’m broken 😞 I actually was recently diagnosed with broken heart syndrome (Takotsubo Cardiomyopathy . I have a full upcoming week of procedures and tests because it’s lasting longer than expected. I moved across country and isolated. I’m sending love and prayers and strength to us all.

[@alejandrarivera1087]

Oh no…prayers for you 🙏🏼❤️

[@teresak6463]

@@alejandrarivera1087 prayers for you as well❤️

[@bunnielynn777]

@@teresak6463I am adding your name to my intercessory prayer list and I will pray for you daily🙏🏼❤️🙏🏼

[@bebe553]

Praying for you.❤

[@teresak6463]

@@bebe553 ❤️

[@AdgTee21]

You deride and make fun of “the therapy complex” in your other video and blame it for estrangement, but now you are upset about estranged children not coming together with the parent for family therapy! 😮

[@vettechsrule]

So my take away from this estrangement situation, is I didn't make my daughter feel safe. No matter how I feel about that? It's how she feels. That is what matters. Crazy as it may seem to me, at the end of the day, it's how she feels.

[@ashlieleavelle]

My Mom and dad were wonderful parents. Thry make mistakes, as everyone does. I can't imagine turning my back on them. My dad passed. They gave me so much love and they sacrificed. We were loved and had a wonderful childhood and home. I can't imagine going no contact. I am so sorry for all the families going through this.

[@leolion3156]

I understand there are exceptions, but I wouldn't be so quick to give sympathy. Some of may have some something that justified it. I'm glad you had good parents, but not all of us do. My father did a lot of things, to me and other people. And I asked so many questions, about destructive rage, narcissism, family, morality, loyalty, forgiveness, parenting, childhood and development, responsibility and accountability, and a lot more. Some parents cutting cut off is a result of their own actions. Children don't usually want to cut of their parents, I don't want to cut off my dad, and I love him, but I don't think I can trust him. And I don't know if I'll ever be able to come to console the good parts of him with the bad, I know what he's capable of, and I'll never be able to see past it. I don't know how to explain the grief, disappointment, frustration and hurt. Cutting off a parent isn't a punishment, its a self-protection.

[@Cindy-bee]

@@leolion3156 I am sorry this was how your childhood was. That is unforgivable and you have every right to go no contact. But she is talking about the children who had good childhoods and upbringing with loving parents. Not all estranged children were abused. In fact I bet many were not.

[@IgorChudov]

You (and me) do not have the relevant experience - some of those estranged children were abused and endlessly traumatized

[@leolion3156]

@@Cindy-bee I'm sure there are many circumstances, and I'm not trying to toss out any blanket statements. But unless there are truly significant situations to provoke it on the contrary, I don't believe most kids would cut off a good parent. Its a hard thing to do, it can be an internal and external battle. I would assume many of those who cut of their parents had abusive or toxic parents, its unfortunately extremely common. More common than people can recognize or are willing to admit. Bad parents are not uncommon.

[@Cindy-bee]

@@leolion3156 That is not necessarily true. There are not mostly bad parents and just because your parents were abusive please do not paint most parents with the same brush. It is simply not the case. And as for adult children deciding on estrangement perhaps it could be something in them that needs to be addressed and has little to do with the parents. Lots of mental illness unfortunately with the pressures of life.

[@TranquilSereneNature]

I'm gonna be real here. I don't think you actually want to reconnect with your daughter. In a meaningful anyway. You spend all this time filming, editing, and posting these videos but with no real evidence of self reflection or trying to understand your daughter. So it leads me to believe that you just want to control the narrative. You listed all these things you did for her as a child but seem resentful about it. As if she owes you for doing what you were supposed to do as a parent. It feels like you're infantilizing her. You lament the loss of *your* dream of your later years and family but have you stopped to ask what that would look like for her? I don't think you have. You repeatedly crossed boundaries and when she expressed what was important to her, you shrugged. This was a big long ramble that kept deflecting from taking any accountability or responsibility on your end. I cannot imagine any daughter that would see these videos, which have garnered over 1 million views blaming her and victimizing yourself, would have any desire left to reconcile. If she's watching this, she's probably thinking 'Of course she's smearing me. Of course she'd resort to this.' or incredibly hurt. And I get the sense that the latter is what you really wanted.

[@TranquilSereneNature]

@@AnnaSzabo I've just come to the conclusion that there is no daughter she's trying to reconnect with. This whole thing is fake.

[@AngieSamuels-ft4vb]

We all know when someone especially a parent loves us. We never need to explain what someone said did or allowed to hurt us or traumatize us. You know why she’s no contact, you know! Life is not measured on how you supplied your daughters basic needs, the law requires it. How your adult children stay connected with their parents is the true picture of the relationship. I felt your message was telling others how to avoid, focus on others and yourself, but not focused on connecting with your daughter’s feelings. The longer you talked, I did not feel the love for your daughter , it seemed all about you. I do not think it’s easy to walk away from a mother unless there’s no other choice in order to protect yourself. I wish you peace and empathy for your daughter’s heart.

[@Lisaann7]

I am just focusing on myself now, finally!! It’s time to be selfish!! Actually it’s kind of exciting not to have all the drama anymore 🙌

[@lovesomeone7285]

I hear you and your heart.❤ from one mother to another. Peace be with you. All of you. The suffering, surrender, and letting go of anyone you love is difficult, especially family.

[@lovecatspiracy]

It really sounds like you didn't like being a mom. The litany of how big of a pain in the ass it was to you-- does it ever ????

[@theonewhomjesusloves7360]

the devil and his minions are in their last days, they have been set free to destroy families. this is the battle of the last days..stay strong..Pray like never before!!

[@chime-girl]

That's what my mom did in order to get "us" back. Took a VERY long time.

[@marshab9759]

This is what it has to be. Let’s pray for a miracle

[@marshab9759]

@@chime-girl how long did it take?

[@chime-girl]

@@marshab9759 everybody's situation is different. My mom was dealing with her ex husband (my dad) who kidnapped me and went missing .Took us 12 years to re-establish. It was an extreme situation but that doesn't mean, it will be that way for you!

[@theonewhomjesusloves7360]

@@marshab9759 we never know, just dont give up praying

[@ICotty9165]

Your constant victim act on your channel isn’t about healing; it’s about trying to regain control. But here’s the truth: your daughter’s flourishing without your manipulations, and that’s why she’s not coming back.

[@beecos08]

I was blindsided, but my disappointment started when she became an adult. We did our very best with our children to love, support, nurture, provide for, teach, and guide. She got involved with an older man who alienated her. She became a different person. She has disappeared and has stated she won't contact us anymore. We were informed she was pregnant, and they had been HOMELESS. I remain in prayer. I know that this is out of my hands. So, if you could all pray with me for her safety and for her to regain a clear stable mindset, I would appreciate it.❤❤❤❤❤

[@bunnielynn777]

I have an intercessory prayer list of which I pray over daily. I lift up each name to God asking for His will in their lives. If you could give me a first name or nickname to add to my list, I would be more than happy to pray for her. 🙏🏼❤️🙏🏼

[@beecos08]

@@bunnielynn777 her name is Kaiyah

[@beecos08]

Thank you for praying.

[@bebe553]

I just texted my estranged eldest adult daughter "Everything done in the dark, will come to the light. 😢 She has my only 2 grands, two girls and I think something has happened and she is hiding it. I have decided let go and let God. Prayers to all hurting parents.❤AMEN.

[@KittyKittyBangBang249]

It sounds like drugs have become an issue

[@sheainfinitypaints9533]

Read a book called Toxic Parents by Craig Buck and Susan Forward. You as a parent chose to be a parent. The child didn't ask to be here. Technically they owe you nothing. I have 2 adult children that I have great relationships with. I tried to raise my sons with love and mutual respect. I made sure not to raise my children the way I was raised. Don't blame the children. I believe if you raised your children with love, respect and the right kind of discipline they wouldn't want to distance themselves from you. Children don't want to leave. They do so to protect themselves.

[@Rola6jkTi8POACH]

You did great and learned the lessons from adverse childhood experience if you raised your children abuse free and with respect. Many dont break out of that cycle and the abuse continues into the next generation. Sadly like in the case of this woman, but she doesnt want to change. So the daughter was left with no choice.

[@tracipanzica5930]

I saw a post today and it fits. THE BEST FEELING EVER IS REALIZING THAT YOU AREN'T SAD ANYMORE OVER SOMETHING YOU THOUGHT YOU'D NEVER GET OVER. It’s been 3 years. I have found myself again, love myself and my life and no longer am in anguish. The reason? God , seeing that my kids are healthy good people (who taught them that) and being away from the toxic environment that caused our issues. I am sad about my grandchildren and sad that my kids don’t realize how life is just a moment away from death but it is how it is going to be. Forgive, doesn’t mean forget but it frees me. If they choose to live their lives without their mom in it, then they are carrying the weight of that decision. When and if they decide to talk I’m open to it but I’ll be coming from a much more confident place. I’m single, I’m 62 and I’m at peace. Thanks for all your videos.

[@tobylouckes2514]

I’m at your point, it is very freeing. I’ve taken all I can take. I’m going to live my life and two of my daughters are just people I gave birth to. They’ll find me in their dna and will no longer be able to use me.

[@janequintanar2357]

I hope to feel that way someday. Each time I think I may be there, I fall back into sadness

[@tracipanzica5930]

@@janequintanar2357 I did too. Until I lost my Brother to cancer and 3 months later my mom. I needed God to comfort me and my kids were just not there. I had no one but my friends and my other brother. At that point I realized that my kids are adults and I’m not a priority so I just started feeling detached and started focusing on the people who really cared. Somehow my mom passing just healed my sorrow because I saw myself in a more valuable way.

[@tracipanzica5930]

@@TimB-im8xx interesting in that you don’t know me or my grown kids to have that opinion. We all make choices to estrange or not. Adults make those decisions on their own. Why does someone have to have been hurt. Maybe the case is simply put a case of core values and beliefs. No one is wrong or hurtful just believe differently.

[@Being_Bohemian]

​@janequintanar2357 ​This is far healthier than those parents who say they've 'found peace and are happy' without their adult kids. This is a positively healthy sign that you're feeling sad, because there may be a higher chance of reconciliation of some sorts. If you can make healthy use of that sadness, and spend time trying to learn more about the real reasons why adult children leave, you'll likely have a higher chance of being able to start healing the relationship with your estranged offspring. It requires being courageous and vulnerable. For example, the Holistic Psychologist offers some useful information that could help. If parents would prefer to try to reconcile with their estranged adult children, they'll have a better chance if they do the hard work of watching posts and videos from those who advocate for adult children who are estranged from their parents, instead of listening to fellow parents who are estranged. Or consult a highly reputable clinical psychologist (a chartered one) who can help the parent break down and understand the dynamics at play, and support you through your next steps. The fact you can admit you're sad means you're several steps ahead of those parents who can't admit it, or who have resorted to feeling 'at peace' with zero contact with their child. No healthy parent should feel 'at peace' with a child going no-contact unless their adult child is genuinely a psychopath or sociopath.

[@stfhji]

No one owes anyone anything. That includes your daughter. Try not to dwell on her absence, make your life full elsewhere

[@MonaYY_Rig]

I am so broken. I don’t see how I can possibly recover. I cry every day. Every day I think of her 100 times. All my friends and family that have good relationships with their daughters hurt my feelings so deeply. It’s hard for me to socialize anymore bc I can’t stop the tears. Everyone asks me about her and where she is. I don’t know what to say 💔💔💔💔❤️‍🩹

[@FionaIngrid]

Sometimes things are bigger than us .. and we can't fathom what's happened .. or see a way forward. All we can do then (100 times a day) is to surrender our sorrow and our sad thoughts and lean on our faith. I think it helps if we can change the story too - I tell myself this is a healing story and that I can get stronger and will find my way to happiness again. I think it also helps if we can stop viewing ourselves (identifying) as a heartbroken mum - the role of mum is significant but not the whole of who we are.

[@MonaYY_Rig]

@fionaingrid I completely comprehend and try to live this way in my mind. I am a very very emotional person my entire life. My daughter ( only child) was and is my everything. I loved her with every inch of my being. I was over protective to the point I drove her away . ( I think, she has not explained to me why she is estranged) I have been working on myself for years since this began, 7 years ago. She has 2 babies and a Career . I’m very introverted and uncomfortable talking about my situation. But I want to Thank you for commenting to me dear ❤

[@FionaIngrid]

@@MonaYY_Rig I commented because it was so relatable - the constant thoughts - the unstoppable tears. I’m an emotional person too .. and over protective in some sense. I was a single mum from the time my daughter was 5, never re-married or had other children and my daughter was the main focus of all my love and attention. Where you and I are different I guess is that I’m not introverted and tend to want to talk about stuff that’s uncomfortable - to make sense of things really (as not fully understanding what’s happened has been really challenging for me). At any rate many of us mums here seem to be feeling similarly - it’s only been a year and a half for me but ideally I want to let this go and heal my heart and soothe my mind as soon as I can. I know my daughter is very happy in her life, with her partner, career and friendships - so somehow, someway, I have to surrender all of this, let go of my attachments and find some peace for myself. I wish happiness for you too xxx

[@MonaYY_Rig]

@@FionaIngridthank you. I wish you the very best ❤️‍🩹❤️

[@zebonnalee8725]

I guess we are in this little club together; I'm sorry.

[@HappyDog-rj6yk]

The amount of self absorbed, selfish and entitled comments against this woman is astounding. Calling her a narcissist….. projection in its purest form.

[@jasm3205]

Sorry, but did you try to find a help for yourself? You talking about yourself so much and is scary. Everything you talk about mothers who did their best and that they gave birth, fed and cuddled is nonsense. These are things that are taken for granted. Because you choose to be mother. And when a child breaks contact with his parents, know that the problem is always in you. You reflected your own traumas on your daughter. You didn’t listen. Many parents in your situation try to restore contact with empty apologies without trying to work on themselves. And believe me, children know how to recognize a fool. Especially the one they grew up with.

[@olga_b863]

Her appearance reminds me of my own narcissistic mother's. Can't explain what it is, but even the way her hair grows/ looks a bit messy, ears, face shape, lips, gaze, everything. Idk if its just me or just a coincidence but I'm struck by this fact. Not saying that looking similar makes you a narcissist but wow.

[@birdieculture-2]

Mine too, especially the eyes and how she looks at the camera, and her look from her first video

[@birdieculture-2]

@@earthwisdomhelps It only takes a little searching to know what it means. What did you think it means lol

[@stupensardi2783]

When my oldest child was born a light bulb moment hit me....I wanted to be a mum and I put all my love and heart into it. Now she doesn't want to talk to me anymore and has completely blocked me. It is the biggest pain I have ever felt. Thank you for your video. I know you understand. ❤

[@TheKrisnicole28]

My daughter did that when she got hooked on meth..I don't even know who she is anymore.and.honestly my son would tell me she was on drug.but I didn't want to believe it.cause with meth u can't really tell.until I found proof.broke me. But I'll be damned if I blame myself. I never did drugs or had her around ppl who did. Please don't blame urself .one day she will open her eyes hopefully before it's too late.God bless

[@JustJ-Me]

​@TheKrisnicole28 Complex Trauma/ CPTSD tends to be a reason why so many younger and older decide to try substances/ use in the first place. I've never struggled with addiction in the sense of using substances, but becoming a workaholic who felt guilty not constantly "being productive", not allowing myself to take a break even when I was really ill and could never consider taking a vacation bc in my mind I never deserved it and also struggling immensely with self-harm were some things I really battled with. All of those are harmful and the same goes with other unhealthy vices and ways of trying to "cope"/ avoid such intense emotions. Disordered eating and other things can also fit in that category. Besides a likely change in brain chemistry (especially with meth), and the body's physical addiction there is likely a psychological component. I was married to, and still love someone very much who struggles with addiction. For the longest time I didn't understand it and was very judgemental about it. I couldn't understand why he couldn't/ wouldn't just quit. It turns out he loathes himself and suffered SA by his friend's dad in his early teens. My dad's fiancee daughter is hooked on meth, and she ultimately cut her daughter off. Her daughter also suffered SA at the hands of 1 of her sister's former bfs. There could be so many reasons why your daughter is struggling with addiction. I'm sure it's painful- I've gone through watching many I love and care about fall into its grasps and have also lost a lot of friends to ODing. I can't fully understand what they're going through, but typically it involves a great deal of self-loathing and even guilt and shame for letting their loved ones down. Most people don't actually want to remain in active addiction. It may have been tried initially "for fun" or to try to cope with something they couldn't deal with and before they knew it, the substance(s) had a tight grip on them. I can't tell you what to do in regard to your daughter. Maybe Al-anon or therapy could help you better handle and understand the situation. It can be emotionally taxing for most ppl to care about an addict. That's why support groups and therapy can also be beneficial. The last thing your daughter needs is judgment or to be shamed. I hope for her sake and yours that she'll find the strength, support and resources necessary to get clean before it's too late. She's not a lost cause. One thing I do know, is that she'll have to be ready. She may relapse multiple times before she "gets it." If anything, consider letting her know that you're there if/ when she's ready to get clean and that you'll help her find resources to be able to help her through it. All the best to you. ❤️‍🩹

[@jrenee3550]

Self reflect. Go to therapy.

[@luluadapa5222]

​@@TheKrisnicole28Drug abuse is self directed hate, self medicating to numb inner pain.

[@TheKrisnicole28]

@@jrenee3550 therapy? Ya and go tell a stranger you don't even know ur problem? It really puzzles me how ppl always cry Therapy.When they never bring there Need to God first.and u have family or friends.why tell someone.ur problems when all they do is get a check for it lol. I'd be damn to me God is always number one.Then family.

[@krissi31]

I really needed to hear this. I wasn't expecting to cry today, but everything you said really hit home and I found it to be cathartic. I plan to listen to this every time I feel I need it. Know that you are helping us so much with this channel.. thank you from my heart...

[@marshab9759]

I have good days and bad. I was a great mom. No abuse of any kind. I was blindsided. I’m praying for Divine Intervention and a miracle.

[@auntissie]

Me too 😢💔🙏

[@pattischolten7303]

Me too.

[@TheKrisnicole28]

Same here.we blame are self at first because the pain is so bad.but as for me and u.we know we did nothing wrong.. keep having faith. God answer in his time not when we want it. Cause God knows the perfect time. My daughter pushed me away because I wanted her to get help for her meth addiction.she pushed me away a year and a half ago.ive stop playing her hurtful games.when she wake up.im always there.. bless u and don't give up

[@MomCN]

Same 😢

[@NoMore-tk6ei]

Me too.

[@linak7155]

This kind of candid conversation is so necessary😢I know there are thousands of parents who need to hear this. After almost two years, our son has come full circle🔵and has admitted to having messed up. We have needed to ask for forgiveness, too. Many will return, and many won't. That is a hard reality😮🙏

[@annak15]

Narcissistic hoovering sadly worked on her son. May his soul and identity rest in peace 🕯️

[@stephaniek-vj2eh]

@@TimB-im8xx he never gave one , my mother died and he never showed up to the funeral . They were close and I have not seen him since , she left him a ,100,000 life insurance policy and nothing to her other grandchildren to my siblings and he didn't turn up to her funeral ? He booked a flight to Australia with his gf of the time . I gave him grief and have not seen him since . Was in disbelief now and I still am I believe he may be a narcissist but I am not a Doctor

[@zebonnalee8725]

I feel like I'm in prison for a crime I didn't commit. I feel like my skin is trying to shed itself from my body. I don't know how much more I can take.

[@patdaniel9921]

This is painful and an unexpected separation that Feels like death, and maybe it is the "loss" of a relationship, but you still are alive and have a wonderful life to live... Move forward and put that love to good use in someone else. You are alive because there is still more you can give... Move forward. 💜

[@zebonnalee8725]

@@patdaniel9921 it is too dangerous to ever put my love into someone else

[@fatuusdottore]

Chances are you did commit it tho.

[@home8630]

This is happening all over the world. I have been letting go all my life, of my family. Community, I was the outcast, the exiled, the martyred, the one given the silent treatment, but my family are a silent people and so is my nation who has had to deal with oppression. There are things they just don't talk about, they took to the grave. I chose patience, peace, but also doing the inner work that is needed and is necessary. I learnt as a child the wisdom of another, but did not question that wisdom, but lived it instead and it was hard and difficult and yet freeing and beautiful. If you love someone set them free, if they come back, then they were yours, if they do not, they were never yours to begin with. I also laid the boundaries down, that my adult child is to speak to me in an honourable manner, and if they do not speak to me in an honourable manner, then we don't communicate. If they do not participate, then we don't do what is needed or necessary, and they are to do their fair share. Abuse, control, manipulation is going on.....generational fighting is going. Can I be alone, and the answer is yes. The question is without my home, family, children, God, community groups, religion, or any relationship who am I as a person and what do I stand for, what is my life about. I found out who I was, its the same person, since I was born, that I could never forget exists. I still stand for what I have all my life.That is what I live. So I could have ended our relationship and let the family part go and be no more, but instead I chose to be patient with my adult child, yet firm and that I give them the space and place they need to grow and mature while I retire and they do that for me and still be myself and what I am for and have been all my life, and that is peace. To have peace in the home. But I also need to get better at listening, and my ears and listening also need to be healed, because I was not heard as a child, throughout my life, I was already abandoned long ago, but I never abandoned first. I am ok with that, because I learnt how to fly free.

[@bethsnider2095]

My husband died when mine were toddlers. I had to do it all alone, I felt did my best but apparently it was never enough.

[@margaretpare8206]

My husband left us when I was 6 mos pregnant and the other was 2.5 years. I did it all by myself. Including answering all the questions about why doesn't he love us? Why did he leave us? But I stayed. Through everything, I stayed. But like you say, apparently it wasn't enough

[@rosemariekline2391]

Same. 3 I didn’t birth. I wasn’t enough and I was everything

[@rosemariekline2391]

Same. 3 I didn’t birth. I wasn’t enough and I was everything

[@rosemariekline2391]

Same. 3 I didn’t birth. I wasn’t enough and I was everything

[@rosemariekline2391]

Same. 3 I didn’t birth. I wasn’t enough and I was everything

[@patbowman6723]

I am a parent of a grown up child who wants nothing to do with me and listening to you brought back some strong memories. You are so right in everything you said and I hope more parents listen to you and take heed. Thank you so much.

[@hmmm2564]

@@patbowman6723 so you accepted that your husband abused your daughter. Wow

[@patbowman6723]

@@hmmm2564 Are you crazy?? I never once said that. Stop trying to get attention.

[@hmmm2564]

@@patbowman6723 I saw your other comments

[@hmmm2564]

@@patbowman6723 I saw your other comments

[@pumpkin462]

Yeah they know why, yeah maybe you SHOULD apologize

[@deniseguile623]

Shaking a child is extreme abuse I am truly sorry for your pain please don’t casually talk about shaking a child!

[@purpleflowers92]

Maybe she shaked her daughter in the past.

[@emptynesters2520]

And by all means, don’t let another woman who hasn’t walked a day in your shoes judge you for the way you handle this challenge! Any woman who tears down another, especially when they’re hurting over the estrangement is a poor excuse for not only a woman, but a human being.

[@RationalNon-conformist]

You must not know about narcissistic people… this woman is narcissistic at the very least, my goodness, how can you not see it?

[@emptynesters2520]

And you, miss MR, should look in a mirror because how you label someone is how you really feel about yourself.

[@CzarLyrus]

I hear the pain in your voice. I've watched a few of your videos, and I have a lot of empathy for your loss. I've gone no contact with my mother for about a year now. I'm sure she feels many of the same feelings you have felt. I can only reflect on my own experience, but you remind me of her in many ways. I know my mother loves me and I love her unconditionally, but what breaks my heart is how she refuses to hear me and to acknowledge my experiences as a child. I hear a lot of excuses: I did my best, I did X for you and you should be grateful, etc. Ive never expected apologies over and over again, but I wish my mom would acknowledge things she did when I was a child- such as deliberately terrifying me when she was angry. I don't know your daughter and all i know about your situation is what you've shared with us in your videos, but I have to wonder what was so wrong that your daughter was so distressed by your relationship that she decided to end it. I hope you two find a way to reconcile, and I hope your soul searching leads you to new perspectives.

[@UnhappyGuest-oo6lb]

Interesting how she totally ignored your comment you were very sweet and I feel the exact same way it’s honestly amazing how you can have empathy considering your personal situation with your mother

[@luluadapa5222]

​@@UnhappyGuest-oo6lbDiane doesn't ❤ any comment that doesn't agree with her. Grandiose, entitled, objectifying, unable to take criticism, thinks she's always right, arrogant, lacks empathy, must be admired, preoccupied with self. So I'm going to ❤ all of them!! ❤ to you both!

[@luluadapa5222]

❤

[@luluadapa5222]

@hazeyq4533 We can see the deep unhappiness within Diane. It's a pity that some people just like to be the victim. Parents who bring their children up in the way they want have NO room to complain about how their children treat them. Introspection is a valuable tool for growth. Not everyone has that skill, unfortunately.

[@fabreviews5576]

My mom hit me with a broom and I had defensive wounds up my arm (knots). She didn’t beat us much, but when she did, you didn’t forget it. 6 kids, single mother. I grew up and forgot all about it. My mom loved me and I loved her. She didn’t have to talk about it, and I didn’t need her to talk about it. My mom loved me, and that’s all that mattered to me. She’s in heaven now because she accepted Jesus as her Lord and Savior. I only think about the good times. And I’m so glad I didn’t allow the few times that she wasn’t a perfect mom to ruin what we shared as adults.

[@cartermusic2020]

I hope you heal your way to full sight.

[@Roger_and_the_Goose]

All I hear is everything about how it effects you, maybe, just maybe, it's about something your husband did, and she looked to you for some sort of support or protection, and you failed her.

[@missRiss4048]

It BREAKS my heart to hear this. I lost my biological mother on Christmas Eve 1989. My father re married in 1992 and though she’s labeled as a “step mom” which she very much was way more than a “step” parent. She raised my siblings and I as her very own. She and her family took us in and have been there for us still to this very day. Unfortunately my mom battled cancer for 12 yrs and passed in 2017. Most of my family has passed on. However to have a mother figure or just my mom’s back I would give ANYTHING. Stay strong. Nobody’s perfect BUT I pray as time goes by she has a change of heart. Even an email once a month anything. Breaks my heart your in my prayers

[@creeves6957]

Human mistakes aren’t allowed by our estranged adult children ….never! I’ve apologized twenty times, twenty-one won’t make a difference until my son says so.

[@limpbisquickkkkkk]

But did you convey contrition after the apology? Or did you say the words then continue to do the same thing that is harmful to the relationship? Parent/child relationships in adulthood requires a level of mutual respect that a parent who believes children owe them respect will have a hard time understanding the value of that once they transition into adulthood. Sure let them go so they can heal… But while they heal, what can you do to facilitate mutual respect instead of pouting indignation?

[@gleeping7899]

Me me me me, all about me. I mean....no one needs to hear the kid's side of the story. It's completely understandable why she went screaming for the hills. You're a textbook example of Duper's Delight. You're straight up trying to deceive everyone and make yourself out to be the victim. Thankfully, your ratios show a lack of success in that department.

[@orlygf]

Try doing this when you literally have no partner in life, no siblings and your other adult children are busy with their own lives and this after two decades of single parenting with an abusive ex who left you homeless.

[@teaadvice4996]

You pick really great guys😂

[@happyday1060]

after 8 years my daughter called me praise GOD

[@4craycray]

All of us who gave birth did the best we could. I don’t think it’s a few incidents, but a prevailing toxic influence that never changes. That is SOUL MURDER and we humans cannot endure that negativity. Please seek therapy to see what you can learn. Defending yourself is not what your daughter needs.

[@generalvictoriouskilljoy8146]

Checking here to see if any of you estranged parents are seeking clarity; to help you have the answers as to why this has happened to you. No strings or abuse attached; just sharing in interest of mutual insight to end distress for all involved. Ive been NC for 38 years...Ask away...

[@luluadapa5222]

❤

[@generalvictoriouskilljoy8146]

Lula, thanks for the reply, however what I find compelling is that the estranged parent will beg to know what they did, yet they won't ask any questions to gain insight. They seem to the point of pathology avoid the hard questions. Thoughts? @@luluadapa5222

[@generalvictoriouskilljoy8146]

The thing is, estranged mothers ask the camera in distress, what did I do, and I offer some discourse to help fill in the blanks and no one is asking. That speaks volumes.

[@luluadapa5222]

@@generalvictoriouskilljoy8146 My Mum asked me once "Have I made the right decision?". We were sat in my car outside the hospital, after seeing the Oncologist to schedule having her left lung removed the following week. I replied, "You've never asked anyone for their opinion before". Two weeks later, she was back home. We stood in the dining room (I was holding her up, helping her walk), she asked "Why me?". I said to her "Why, who are you going to give it to?", as we looked out into the garden at all the pretty summer poppies. She was gone 16 months later. It was the best 16 months of our relationship. She apologised, well, tried to, a few times. I told her I'd already forgiven her years before. It's so sad, she had a choice for 40 years.

[@luluadapa5222]

@@generalvictoriouskilljoy8146 I'm done with this channel and it's content. Milking others for sympathy at $10 a month is heinous. It took my Mum to get lung cancer for her to appreciate that her chosen behaviours for 40 years had affected others negatively. I'm glad she finally introspected enough, we had a lovely relationship in the end. It's just a pity she never listened or accepted my boundaries before then. This lady only likes an echo chamber. Take care killjoy, I'm wasting nothing more on someone who thinks they are always right and doesn't care about her daughter enough to change a thing 💟

[@MAROBI333]

I'm sorry for your pain. ❤

[@MeshellTin]

I see other KZbinrs bashing this channel. Some of whom I used to respect. And of the ones I watched, not one of them has been through this. Thank you for this video. I appreciate you. It is truly a process.

[@minvelseskanal876]

Diane, you spend way too much energy in defending yourself. Even though you are estranged it doesent mean you didn't do your best. Once you get comfortable with that maybe it will be easier to meet your daughters feelings and deep-read her letter.

[@luluadapa5222]

❤

[@blues7160]

Diane, go out of your everyday life get wild get adventurous. Make yourself happy!

[@alejandrarivera1087]

Yes is a process you let go and let God, surrender your life and theirs to God , detaching with love . Acceptance is freedom and I choose to be free and take care of myself ❤🙏🏼

[@otakushinsaku]

The decision to sever ties with one's parents is often laden with guilt and societal pressure. However, it's essential to recognize that healthy relationships are built on mutual respect and support. When these foundational elements are absent, and interactions with parents consistently result in emotional harm, the act of going no contact becomes an act of self-preservation. It allows individuals to break free from toxic patterns, heal from past traumas, and build a life where their emotional well-being is prioritized. It's a brave declaration that one's mental health matters, even if it means challenging societal norms and creating distance from those who should have been their greatest protectors.

[@szendrich]

You have put it all so succinctly, years of grief and what placed us all there. Thank you for the encouraging reminder. I'm not as good as you. My heart went cold after almost a decade of grief. I'm one of those who has no one left except two elderly parents who don't like to engage. I'm still grateful they are there, even if only for half an hour each week, but I have had to find my healing by changing my focus to animals. Were it not for other people's pets, whom I've taken it upon myself to walk everyday, I would still be drowning in that deep well of grief. I do still maintain contact with my daughter and visit her each week or when it's convenient for her. I do it to cultivate a relationship with my grandchildren, but although there is no actual estrangement with my daughter, we are like two zombies, present only in body but not in heart and mind. She is ready to jump down my throat if I say the wrong thing, and somehow, I always do, so I have learnt to keep my mouth shut as she often warns me to do. Rather that than not to be in my grandchildren's lives and give them all the love that I'm allowed to give them for a few hours each week. It certainly isn't easy and each week, a little part of me dies a little more, but hopefully in a good cause. Thanks again and God bless you.

[@jrenee3550]

Self reflect and go to therapy. Lose the self righteous attitude and think about how you could have contributed to the problem

[@szendrich]

@@jrenee3550 If you have nothing compassionate to say, then say nothing. You know nothing about me so I suggest you do some self-reflection yourself about your own contribution to the people in your life.

[@jrenee3550]

@@szendrich interesting projection to assume I haven't

[@szendrich]

@@jrenee3550 Same to you.

[@gossip_girl_xoxo2003]

@@szendrichplease take care of yourself love regardless of what may have happened just take it one day at a time you will make it through this!

[@CassilovesMocha]

Being a good parent isn't just about shelter, food, and "family appearances" like playdates and vacations, Diane. It's about recognizing your child AS A FELLOW HUMAN BEING. A being with their own emotions, dreams, and freewill to be themselves, to figure out their own identity without a parent's disapproval 24/7. They deserve the space and freedom to make mistakes, and learn lessons from said mistakes. And then... If your child comes to you for advice at that point, you know that they value your opinions and trust that you aren't going to berate them for their choices, even if it was a mistake. If only estranged parents could empathize with their children... but not Diane! She would much rather blame therapy and the younger generations, for the boundaries her daughter set for their relationship. 😂 it has nothing to do with her or how she acts, right?

[@WakeUpCall888]

I thank you from the bottom of my heart for this message of encouragement! 💖😊 I needed to hear this today, and I'm sure that many other people did too! This was like a mini therapy session for me, lol! Sending everyone a virtual hug who needs one! 🤗❤️✨️

[@theonewhomjesusloves7360]

let me just say, that even if they come back and they are sorry, it will happen again..and again..and again. Move on, stay busy and know that the truth will be revealed

[@chamomiletea5424]

Yes, my daughter comes back again and again. it's a pattern now well established. once my daughter has her fill of my resources of time, money, and emotional support she is gone. sometimes 2-3 years, sometimes a few months. i never know. before her departures, she will put on a big drama or a rage fit over something I said or did "wrong." Well I've learned in her eyes, I AM wrong as a mother, and as a human. God has protected me and loves me unconditionally. Parents, please know that nowhere in the bible does it say we have to accept toxic/abusive behavior (not saying that is the case for everyone, but in my case it is). I know I've made mistakes, and have tried, begged forgiveness, and am working on myself to be my best self. She still hates me, so I lift her and our relationship up to God, because I need peace, and know this is a spiritual battle. God bless us, everyone 🙏

[@theonewhomjesusloves7360]

@@chamomiletea5424 yes, i have one son who cries and is so sorry, then he needs stuff . money and so forth and when hes done with me, then he starts the cycle all over again. im done.

[@bagscomeandbagsgo2343]

Thank you for these words.​@@chamomiletea5424

[@deborahryan2654]

The battle is the Lord’s✝️

[@DMAC1301]

​@chamomiletea5424 me too.

[@karengrounds1564]

Thank you for this video! There is so much that happens in life and we just can’t constantly blame ourselves! I have learned to let my daughter go over the last nine years of being estranged and it’s never easy but time does help the healing. My daughter is pregnant with her second child (a girl), so there will be another grandchild I may never know. For me, that is the hardest part, not having a relationship with those grandchildren. 😢 God bless you for helping others!

[@TJ-wz3tt]

Amen I'm missing out on my grandkids too😭🙏Praying for us all and our kids too.

[@butterfly_314]

I understand completely! My oldest had my 1st & only grandchildren so far. A precious grandson who will be 3next month & a granddaughter who was just born Nov. 8, 2023 & I've NEVER gotten to meet them! I've only seen them via Facebook pics! I hope things change for all of us going through this! Much love to you! ❤️🤗

[@stephaniek-vj2eh]

Make videos and take photos for your grandchildren and write them letters .. don't talk about the estrangement and leave everything in your will to the grandchildren xo 😘 except 200 $ for the estranged so they can not contest the will

[@karenjewitt6639]

💕💕💕🌷🌷🌷

[@M.yme74]

The same length of time for us too and still no real understanding of why this happened. It is so sad and unnecessary. A phone call, a greeting card, nothing - just silence. Age is against us now!

[@chrisvandusen5957]

There is one thing you can do to have a relationship with your daughter again. If you can get a message to your daughter on social media or by some other way, ask her this, "What is it I need to do to have a relationship with you again? What is it that you want me to do? Tell me what to do and I will do it, whatever you want. I'm sorry I have made bad choices in the past. I did the wrong things, but I want to learn how to do the right things. I don't know what it is you want me to do and I am trying to figure it out. I'm sorry. I just don't know what it is you want me to do. And tell her that you are so sorry that you hurt her. Good luck.

[@Hotelyorba]

That’s a horrible idea. Her daughter specifically asked not to contact her. I don’t understand how repeatedly violating her boundaries over and over again in more grandiose gestures is going to help.

[@chrisvandusen5957]

@Hotelyorba Well, in that case, she will never have a relationship with her daughter and they will most likely never speak again. Contacting her one more time to say what I stated above may work as I suspect she has never really apologized before. Or she could just accept that they will never speak again. And chances are they never will...

[@bellepage3402]

I have not heard from my son in over a year. He told me I did not respect boundaries, but he never gave me anything specific. All I can do now is wait and pray. Thanks for reaching out to those of us who have “lost” an adult child. May God keep us strong.

[@dragonways3336]

So you really can’t think of anything you must have did huh

[@filby3213]

My wife's ex husband told their son that the child support was to be saved for him when he come of age. That obviously didn't happen and now their son hates his mother. She put her foot down and told him she was done being controlled by both of them.

[@SHEDEVILWASHERE]

He can't do that. Child support goes toward SUPPORT of the child. The mortgage, utilities, food, clothing etc. It is to help the primary caregiver care for the child! He's brainwashed that poor child.

[@filby3213]

@@SHEDEVILWASHERE That "POOR" child is 33 year's old now with a 2 year old as of June that my wife just got to meet in June. If her parent's hadn't been there then she wouldn't have got to hold her and love on her for a couple hours. If all of it's worth $230 and then $200 the last 8 year's a month child support then so be it 😔 Sad state of affairs we are all dealing with for sure 🥺

[@kymfrancis4612]

My son’s grand parents told them that I was supposed to save “all” of the child support money for their adulthood - their “biological” father or his family did not pay a cent towards their upbringing; ever & he denied my 2nd son was his & he never saw either of them - ever. My eldest was 3 when I left a violent man, pregnant & I did everything to keep them safe. My husband; their step father & I raised them, my parents were very involved but their paternal family had nothing to do with them. Their biological father died suddenly & neither of them had spoken to him since I left. My sons are angry with their sperm donor & they are projecting that anger onto my husband, our 2 younger children & I have done nothing but pray & wait for them to come to the realisation that they were loved & wanted by myself & their step father.

[@filby3213]

@@TimB-im8xx You misunderstood what I said. My wife was allowed to visit with her granddaughter. Our granddaughter's parents (her son) were watching them the whole time. My wife's sister died if you must be nosy...we we're attending a family gathering. My wife wasn't going behind anyone's back. Her son actually introduced his daughter to my wife. Calm down sir 😅

[@filby3213]

@@TimB-im8xx no, it's because her sister died and her son decided to be nice for a change even though he was snarky to my wife when he handed the baby to her...in front of my in-laws.

[@scotty634]

honestly i think you have probably done alot of damage to your poor daughter already , just leave her and dont do this to her its not nice

[@DrAvrilSix]

If I was your daughter, this rant about what you did for her would make me feel like I'd been such a burden to you, that I'd want to leave too! I couldn't even listen to it all.

[@shannonc.8911]

My estranged youngest daughter, refuses to admit ANY of the good things that happened. So on top of dealing with the estrangement, her lies about her life before she left, not being able to know two of my four grandchildren, hurts. The two of her children that I do see, is because her ex husband is an amazing father who keeps in contact with us and allows the contact when they are with him. My ED also said no contact. What hurts most and kinda angers me, is hearing from my grandsons the lies about her childhood that she had told them.

[@beecos08]

This is practically what my daughter is doing. Its almost like my daughter is gone, and some sort of demon or demonic spirit has taken over her body. 😢 I will pray for you.

[@frogfromct]

I can relate

[@bebe553]

Yes, sooo many, many lies, that makes it even harder😢

[@shannonc.8911]

I finally blocked mine from contacting me. I just can’t deal with her stress anymore.

[@rainbowlove9029]

Omg I’m dealing with that, the lies the deceit and she never talks about the good, the laughs the ones that no sound comes out with tears yes those amazing laughs her and I use to stay up all night just talking and laughing to the point it was 5 am and we would order donuts and mochas The worst is we don’t get to spend time with our other grandchild I had to stop reaching out we can’t see what we did wrong all those what did we do, what didn’t we donand we’re both stumped but I chose peace over chaos we had to let her go

[@xtnabcn]

I simply don´t understand why you would choose to be estranged from your child. Ok, so your behaviour was mean sometimes. Just apologize and try to be kind from now on. Isn't an apology worth it, in order to have your child back in your life? The majority of kids on the generation of your child still have loving relationships with their parents (myself included). Why don't you want to be part of this majority? All it takes is a sincere apology to your child. Instead, you try to make business of the pain of estrangement? Not all the money in the world is worth it.

[@cylencce]

you don't get it. The adult child chooses to leave. The parents invariably try to reconcile with the child by apologizing, going to therapy, even groveling. The children resist all communication and dig in even more. At that point, the parent has to let them go in order to both respect their child's boundaries and find their own peace.

[@xtnabcn]

@@cylencce she never really apologised. She mentioned in her video that an apology required "too much contrition". So basically she chose her pride to her child. I think people should own up to their mistakes and apologise sincerely. The adult child only leaves when the parent keeps hurting them. The thing is that any time Diane wants her daughter back, she can have a relationship with her. All it takes is to swallow her pride and admit that she made some mistakes that caused hurt. "I am sorry for hurting you, it was my fault, I promise I will treat you with respect from now on". That's not too difficult, is it?

[@antiwokeaction]

Please feel hugged ❤

[@mamazannie6060]

I am in the same boat with my 21 year old daughter. Little contact with her since 2019. She refuses to communicate with myself or any family members so it is not just me. As a nurse I feel she has a mental illness and has just totally given up on her family. I feel hopeless and helpless. I do not sleep, and it is just a gaping hole in my heart. I try to go on and maintain but nonetheless that pain remains a constant. My biggest fear is that she will commit suicide. I pray for her every single night. Thanks for your channel. I felt completely alone until I started reading and listening to all of the same pain out there.

[@FireSilver25]

She probably cut off other relatives because they don’t listen to her either. Often the whole family system is invested in the same cycles. Instead of doing some introspection you’re labeling her as mentally ill. It’s easier for you to think she’s sick in the head than it is to acknowledge your deficiencies as a parent. Which is awful. I feel sorry for your daughter.

[@jrenee3550]

Go to therapy. Self reflect. Learn what you could've done to contribute to the situation.

[@8abydoll]

@@mamazannie6060 Self reflection on what you contributed to her abandonment will help you immensely, and keep you from harming others in the future.

[@briteeyes2133]

Please continue to love your children and PRAY for them. EVERY situation is different. There are some cases where parents may have truly harmed their children. There are some cases where children may have truly hurt their parents. It happens, However, these situations are NOT the circumstances most families are going through. When you see ALL the mental diagnoses that so many ( more than ever before) are suffering, with you have to ask yourself, does this have a direct correlation to why families are breaking apart? It you watch social media you see a SOCIETY that is easily offended at everything. EVERYTHING. You see a society that can not handle stress, can not handle adversity, can not handle a difference of opinion. Also society has become disposable. People DONT VALUE anything anymore. People want new things and toss out the old. Just watch how often they get a new phone. They must have the lastest and best. It has carried over into families. Families have also become disposable. That is why people dont value families like they did in bygone eras. They dont value marriages. They dont value being an at home mom. They dont value life in the womb. They dont value grandparents or the elderly. They only value what they want right here and right now. This is not all cases but is a large part of society's thinking. Sadly, the world as a whole has lost its way. I agree that you must move on BUT never stop loving and praying for your child regardless what they do. Pray God reveal himself to them and for restoration of your family. Forgive them for hurting you as I hope they forgive their parents for whatever has offended them. Holing onto offense will destroy you on the inside. Praying for all those hurting that they may find peace. ❤❤❤❤

[@linak7155]

Many things said, resonate. There are causes and consequences for where we are today. Thank you!

[@rowanstarling3816]

Same, this resonates with me as well. I pray every day.

[@briteeyes2133]

@@TimB-im8xx we've established you live in a false perpetrator, perpetratee, oppressor, oppressee world. At any given time every person could be either. Your determined to go through life with misery hanging over you. You want everyone to feel YOUR misery whether real or not. Many people choose NOT participate in that type self destruction. It's not healthy. You seem to love the misery so much I question why you ever left home. I mean if you are the same or worse mentally what improved by leaving? You could wipe all those you perceive to be the enemy off the face of the earth but if your mentally still sick on the inside it didn't help you. So what your doing and saying, EVIDENTLY ISNT WORKING. Try something new! FORGIVENESS HEALS YOU. Its NOT for the other person, it's for your own well-being. Be blessed.

[@briteeyes2133]

@@TimB-im8xx LISTEN TO YOURSELF. You are calling EVERYONE a child abuser. People you don't even know. I won't call you silly because I think you need help. Some serious mental intervention. To call EVERYONE an abuser is abuse itself. You are trying to lash out and hurt INNOCENT people based on your own feelings. YOU'VE BECOME the PERPETRATOR. It's a cycle only you can break. EVERYONE is NOT YOUR ENEMY. JUST STOP. When you see the world through the lense that EVERYONE is your enemy you become a danger to yourself.

[@briteeyes2133]

@@TimB-im8xx listen to yourself. You see EVERYONE as the enemy. I don't know you. I'm not your enemy. You are in a war zone IN YOUR HEAD. YOU HAVE BECOME the stalker, the attacker. You have become your own enemy. SAVE YOURSELF from your own self. ❤️

[@gmamose9152]

Hi Diane, I've have been following your videos, and I realize you possibly didn't set out to make a huge wave in the estrangement world, but you have! You've gotten more people to talk and think about this issue!!! It needed attention, and you did it! No matter where people are on the estrangement continuum, you've brought up a subject that people really need to start paying attention to. Please don't stop. Everyone needs to be heard.❤

[@AdrianRif]

I feel for you Diane. I’m a late diagnosed, severely Autistic, divorced father. My adult daughter is estranged from me, She judged me because I’m not perfect as I’m disabled, so basically viewed me as piece of shit who only provided money. I’ve been abused and disrespected all my life including those I trusted. My ex-wife who left me during Covid after 30 yrs, I agree social media has created a generation of children who judge and disrespect their parents harshly because of peer pressure and woke culture. My conscience is clear, and I’ll be ok with the Creator when I die and I make an account of myself. There is shame surrounding these issues but more is becoming known about abuse of parents by children. Forgive others but more importantly forgive yourself. I’m sure you did your best. They will make their own mistakes and will realise their parents are only human with all their faults. Hatred and resentment will only eat you up, people usually get the karma they deserve.

[@FireSilver25]

If you’re doing Pros and Cons lists I don’t know what to say. A single traumatic event can cause PTSD in a child. One episode of shaking or spanking can shatter trust. It doesn’t matter how often you played ball with them if you expect your kid to just get over it because of the “Pros”. And you admit you had expectations for your older age and how your AC fit into it. That’s seems controlling to me. I’m a Gen X who went NC with both Boomer parents and it was the greatest gift I ever gave myself. I did tell them why but they reacted the same way you did. DARVO all the way. My mother tells people I’m being witched and that’s why I don’t talk to her. My father tells people I’m crazy. They want to believe there’s something wrong with me, and that something awful will happen to me, and don’t trust me to handle my own life. The fact so many of you are imagining the worst for these kids is scary! No wonder you got cut off! My mother did that all the time. That gave me the message I’m not capable of existing without her and that I can’t be trusted to make decisions for myself. When your parents don’t allow you to build confidence and self belief it’s a form of starvation. I’m really proud of these younger people for ending the toxic cycles. I’ll be their auntie. ❤

[@TyStuart-kk6rx]

Thank you, it is a process of finding yourself again, doing a gratitude list everyday, being grateful to God for the honor of raising a family, I heard these words that deeply affected me, "I know I'm something because God doesn't make junk".

[@melissabeingmelissa]

Honest question: At what point is low/no emotional intelligence (EQ) considered a disorder/disability??

[@melissabeingmelissa]

Needing extra accommodation

[@K1ng1995]

Here are five reasons for estrangement from the perspective of an adult child. Toxic parents (22.4%): There are many ways to define toxic behavior, but generally, it refers to parents’ internal character traits such as hurtfulness, anger, cruelty, perpetual disrespect, family conflict, and narcissism. Critical parents (14.8%): Adult children felt judged, unloved, or unaccepted, often due to differing values, such as religious beliefs​2​ and gender identity​3​. These parents also never praise their children for their accomplishments. The children are constantly being criticized and compared to others. Abusive parents (13.9%): Children could not leave their abusive parents in childhood and suffered silently. The moment they became adults and had options, they left the abusive family and never looked back. While most people would not question a child’s decision to sever ties with a parent who physically or sexually abuses, there’s often less understanding for those who have experienced emotional abuse or neglect. Children with authoritarian or narcissistic parents frequently endure emotional abuse, yet these parents tend to refuse to acknowledge such behavior. Emotionally abusive parents often struggle to comprehend why their children choose to estrange themselves. Unaccepting parents (10.2%): Parental non-acceptance of relationships with spouses, dating partners, in-laws, stepparents, or other significant individuals outside the family of origin was reported by 10% of adult children as a reason for estrangement. Biased parents (7.7%): Favoritism, where parents were perceived to clearly prefer one child over others. Objectionable relationships (28.6%): Issues with relationships involving spouses, dating partners, in-laws, stepparents, or other individuals outside the family of origin. Divorce/alienation (13.2%): Challenges and impacts associated with divorce and remarriage. Toxic parents (8.3%): Continuous situations involving hurtfulness, anger, cruelty, or perpetual disrespect. Child entitlement (7.5%): Perceived ungrateful or unappreciative behavior from the child. Unknown (6.1%): Parents who could not give a reason or did not know why the estrangement occurred. You really wanna know the trick. TALK LESS AND LISTEN MORE!!!! JESUS FUCKING CHRIST. IT'S NOT THAT HARD PEOPLE, AND IF THE KID ISN'T SAYING ANYTHING THAN THAT MEANS YOU CAN'T FIX THIS.

[@K1ng1995]

@lolabott God knows how many posts you see on the Reddit AITA page same with the Stepparent page. The parent and stepparent treat the kid like crap either by making the kid feel abandoned, neglected, or replaced. The kid grows and tells the parent and their spouse F OFF then *insert shocked Pikachu meme* when they have to face the consequences of their actions.

[@secretsquirrel7300]

This is your opinion and means absolutely nothing.

[@dishappywithlife2556]

💯

[@dominican4ever825]

You chose to be a mother. No one forced you to be one. To give birth, take care of a child was something that you wanted to do.

[@SHEDEVILWASHERE]

I need to express one more thing. When I had to move across the country, my mother decided she didn't want to talk to me anymore. She'd done that before, gotten mad at me, and told me to F off, and refused to speak to me for months at a time. Finally, she was dying, and told my sister and niece to not contact me. She died without me being able to talk to her, to tell her that I loved her unconditionally, even if I didn't receive the same from her. A message to your daughter: I WISH my mother had written me emails, had begged me to talk to her, had shown an interest in being close to me, didn't see me as competition and didn't get upset when I succeeded in life and found happiness. I WISH I were in your shoes. One day, when your mother passes away, you won't have another chance to reconcile. She has admitted that she's not faultless. And yes, I see how she expresses things a little judgmentally (sorry, Mom). But she is TRYING. There are things I don't know. I'm sure people might be wondering what I did to make my mother feel the way she did about me. I was born. That's it. She told me she didn't want me. It was my father who wanted me. I'll trade you your Mom for my mom, so that your mom will be dead and you don't have to worry about talking to her, and my mom will be alive and I can hopefully build a relationship with her and feel whole. The fact that your mom is trying, says so much. You should go to counseling TOGETHER. Your mom and dad love you. It doesnt matter who they vote for. One day you might need them, and they won't be here to accept you with open arms. please, think about it.

[@RationalNon-conformist]

Actually, you are viewing things too much in your favor. You would not want an abusive and scary mother stalking you. Some narcissistic people discard their children, and it can happen the other way around and it’s justified, where a normal adult child leaves the narcissistic parent because they are being gaslit and abused. I’m sorry your mother did what she did, but your story is very different.

[@SHEDEVILWASHERE]

@@RationalNon-conformist I agree with you, completely. I am a bit skewed. Would I have wanted my mother to stalk me? Harass me? No. If she were willing to get help, speak with a therapist or accept that I have boundaries and respect them, I would give her another chance. There is love and there is addixtiin to another. We all want love though, dont we? Its just become so popular to ghost people, discard people who are our family, if they dont act the way we want them to. Relationships can be painful and beautiful. They take work. And time. All I know is that time doesnt heal all wounds. Its what you do with your time that determines whether you heal.

[@Michellebellaa]

I love having "a place to go" in this situation. I found this channel in my estrangement with my only child. Thankfully since the short time since I found this channel my only child reconciled with me. I am on guard now because of the unexpected and her sudden estrangement and most thankfully shortlived estrangement. I believe she realized over Thanksgiving that she actually missed me after shutting me off completely for almost a year. She reached out to me and we met at a very familiar place to eat (a place with amazing past memories) . The moment I looked at her and spoke out loud she teared up .... literally at the sound of my voice. She apologized and I am grateful she came back to me. I just wanted to say thank you for having a place where people can come and talk to each other. This alone is so therapeutic.

[@spaghettilibro]

Consider getting family therapy to prevent it from happening again. Don't listen to this woman, her advice is horrible.

[@ritagener-mahoutchian6118]

thank you so much for all you do ❤