Disabled Americans Are Punished for Getting Married

Millions of disabled US citizens can't get married without being penalized by the government, putting them at risk of losing their income and healthcare. This penalty has caused many couples to put their marriage plans on indefinite hold.
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[@suicideshy451]

I also love how she said there aren't people with disabilities writing laws for people with disabilities so she is getting up in there

[@bradleypuckett9408]

Don’t rob yourself of the possibility of finding meaning in life(ur name) ->Albert Camus, The Myth of Sisyphus

[@Tealsisterfightingtosurvie]

Cause no one listen to us that the point law makers

[@sean4907]

Trump was president, they have plenty of representation.

[@hunnybadger442]

@@bradleypuckett9408 what are you even talking about?

[@sjjr8787]

People with disabilities shouldn't be alive, much less making laws.

[@khanyikuzwayo]

“Marriage isn’t for everyone but everyone should have the option.” Summed maybe the entire world up perfectly!

[@eklektek5032]

She does have the option though. Shes not banned from doing so.

[@khanyikuzwayo]

@@eklektek5032 Perhaps you’re new viewer so let me clue you in. Here at Vice, we take the stuff we watch seriously. There’s a level of intelligence that needs to constantly be trained in order to keep up with their groundbreaking, near-futuristic journalism. We haven’t seen anything like it before and may never again. Please don’t be deliberately obtuse, because it’s not the gotcha that you think it is. It’s like irony, you might that know that you’re being ironic and pointing out what’s wrong by being like them but to everyone outside of your head, you just look stupid. We expect better so, do better!

[@religionisapoison2413]

@@pinkdollangel pick as better partner

[@parisarnett87]

@@eklektek5032 Are you stupid?

[@tez800]

@@eklektek5032 absolutely because if they banned disabled people from getting married that’ll be a issue as well

[@tinkergnomad]

Not having our own money as disabled people is one of the biggest factors driving the statistics that disabled people are drastically more likely to be in an abusive relationship, and not be able to leave. We can't leave if the government forces us into financial dependance on a partner who turns abusive. I'm disabled and was penalized for my now husband's income before we ever got married. We got married because it was already made clear I wouldn't receive any money because he made too much. I am 💯 financially dependant on him, and he has hit me in the past.

[@bellezanegra0206]

And it takes forever to get back on disability. So you have to have another safety net if you want to leave

[@i_luv_hecklefish]

I was in the same position. I had a baby girl by my abusive ex. Afterwards he ended up nearly killing me. I was disabled, with 2 children. I had no family living left to help me. So I was stuck. I ended up homeless after his last attack. He went to jail and his family owned our residence. They said I paid no "rent" there. It was winter and the height of covid. I lost my 2 children as a result. I finally got a place but my children were put in foster care over an hour and a half away, 2 counties over, in a location we had never lived in. My disability limits my ability to drive. So I requested a transfer of my case to my county of residence. I was denied because the judge was told they would accomadate me by giving me rides. Each time since then I am either denied or ignored and not provided transportation. This county doesn't even give a specific date in family court. You're given a time frame. Such as court will be on the 1st,2nd, and 3rd of the month. You don't have 1 court date you need to appear. You have to come each day until your case is seen and you never know when that will be. So on the occasions I could pay someone to drive me, there was no guarantee that my case would be seen. I lucked up once and my case was heard when I had gotten a driver. This was the one where my transfer request was denied. I also requested it be transferred again in writing but recieved no response. Now I'm facing a T.P.R. because of this nightmare. What they are doing seems wrong to me. I feel discriminated against because I'm disabled. I don't understand how they can legally get away with this. I have a court appointed attorney but he says if I can't get there there is nothing he can do. 🥺 If I could even get it narrowed down to one date it might help but 3?! People work! It cost me at minimum $50, not counting the gas and food, for each trip. This is in my car and only if I can find someone who can get a day off work in order to do so. 3 days off work is not happening. I have a safe, stable home now. Its just myself living in it. All my bills are paid and I have everything my children need. My son is 16 years old! I successfully raised him without issue until this occurred. Now I can't even visit my kids The people with my children want my baby daughter. They own 84 Wendy's franchises among other business ventures. So I feel as if this is a contributing factor. They are very wealthy, powerful and want my baby. I may be wrong but something is up. Why else would they treat me this way. It seems it should've only been a matter of proving I had safe adequate shelter. I had no history of having abusive men around my children. My abuser was the only man I'd dated since my husband had passed away years before. I never knew they could just move your case and children wherever they please. Not caring if a physical disability limits your ability to travel. I felt humiliated in court when I was denied my transfer request. I was told they had mothers willing to travel from other states for their children. Its not a matter of my being "willing" its a matter of not being able to. If I was able, had the means, and had just up and moved away from my children I could understand their point but that is not what occurred. I filed a complaint but if something doesnt happen soon I will lose my children forever 🥺

[@MikesGarageReviews]

One day I received a phone call regarding my disability. The lady from social security asked multiple questions during the call. She asked about me being married and she said “I never told them I was married”. I told them I had to come to social security to change our names when we married and I told them I was disabled. The guy said “it wouldn’t affect my income” unless she was disabled. She asked to speak with my wife and she threatened my marriage and freedom if my wife didn’t pay. I have been disabled over 20 years and this lady said if my wife didn’t pay the $15,000 they would prosecute her and myself. Prosecute over a clerical error I asked. She said not an error, that I done so willfully.I was truthful on the phone because I had nothing to hide. I only thought my income was affected if someone else in the home received disability because that’s what the man said when we had her name changed after getting married. After the $15,000 payment my wife was forced to pay they wanted another $5000. They called my wife wanting her personal bank statements and she denied and they threatened me with jail if she didn’t get those. She never did but came to agreement to pay the local social security office. I live in constant fear and they made me feel as I did something wrong. They want someone on mental disability telling them how to do their jobs. They threatened my life, my wife, and marriage. I’m afraid! You will never believe the multiple calls and threats shaking my wife down. They took away my independence, cut my check by over half and made me depend on my wife for financial support. I was punished for being married to someone who made a ok income. They expected me to know the rules for something I received before I became a adult. I lived in poverty until I met my wife who pulled me from a life of nothing only to be docked and threatened because I got married. What little independence I had is gone

[@AmberAmber]

This is why I maintain that this most toxic style of late stage capitalism literally kills. I'm disabled, have been in 2 abusive relationships & now I'm technically homeless (I'm luckily friends with 2 sweet people who take me 2 weeks at a time to couch surf... my life is painfully broken. And it didn't begin like this. I once had a house, a great business id started, & life was ok. Surprise disabilities happen just as much as the sort ones born with, & things in our life can't be depended upon - unless one is very wealthy... I'm so sorry to hear about so much social pain & suffering... Love & peace & the best luck possible to all, A Canadian. XOxooxOX

[@sashamoore9691]

Then don’t have a partner. And y’all left a check so use that check and leave. Not like the real abused women who don’t get a government check and CANT leave

[@zlpatriot11]

I am a disabled 29 year old man, I live in constant fear of losing my Medicaid and SSI. Although I am single, the threat of these penalties have me very weary of getting married. The rules are outdated, do not account for cost of living, or inflation. Gabriella, good luck with your BAR exam and life with the man you deserve. Proud of you!

[@Gaetano.94]

Even here in Canada it's almost the same. My fiance makes close to $60,000 a year, calculated from when he first started his career a few months ago. I'm 28 and cannot work due to a really bad chronic illness that has been getting worse and worse. I get $900/mo and that's enough to help with Rent, and a little bit of food and that's it. If I get married, I will lose that.

[@MikesGarageReviews]

One day I received a phone call regarding my disability. The lady from social security asked multiple questions during the call. She asked about me being married and she said “I never told them I was married”. I told them I had to come to social security to change our names when we married and I told them I was disabled. The guy said “it wouldn’t affect my income” unless she was disabled. She asked to speak with my wife and she threatened my marriage and freedom if my wife didn’t pay. I have been disabled over 20 years and this lady said if my wife didn’t pay the $15,000 they would prosecute her and myself. Prosecute over a clerical error I asked. She said not an error, that I done so willfully.I was truthful on the phone because I had nothing to hide. I only thought my income was affected if someone else in the home received disability because that’s what the man said when we had her name changed after getting married. After the $15,000 payment my wife was forced to pay they wanted another $5000. They called my wife wanting her personal bank statements and she denied and they threatened me with jail if she didn’t get those. She never did but came to agreement to pay the local social security office. I live in constant fear and they made me feel as I did something wrong. They want someone on mental disability telling them how to do their jobs. They threatened my life, my wife, and marriage. I’m afraid! You will never believe the multiple calls and threats shaking my wife down. They took away my independence, cut my check by over half and made me depend on my wife for financial support. I was punished for being married to someone who made a ok income. They expected me to know the rules for something I received before I became a adult. I lived in poverty until I met my wife who pulled me from a life of nothing only to be docked and threatened because I got married. What little independence I had is gone

[@meatballhead15]

@MasterZ I'm a disabled young adult who is very educated, I have degrees in education and psychology and want to go to grad school, and it breaks my heart that I can't really work part time or even get married because of all the rules around medicare/medicaid/SSI !

[@meatballhead15]

@@MikesGarageReviews As a disabled young adult, my heart breaks for you. This should never happen, and I live in constant fear of breaking the medicaid/medicare/SSI rules, myself. People ask "why don't I just work part time", well if you make over $65 (which is like 4 minimum wage hours a month) they start punishing you, let alone the utter HELL you went through for getting married. It's an utter disgrace! We need the numbers that were set in the 70s to be updated for inflation and disabled people deserve marriage equality !

[@In_ThIs_SAD_Dark_Reality]

I'm disabled I don't get a check they won't give it to me. I've tried to get it four times now they keep turning me down I have physical and mental disabilities. I guess the way they figure it is if the state is paying for everything then you don't need to be married. And if you are married then you got to be like everybody else and your spouse needs to help pay for that. I mean you can be married and still have SSI and disability my parents are married he's 100% to say they've been married for almost 40 years now. But if one of you was able to work you need to help cover some of the cost. Because at the end of the day somebody's paying for all of this you know what I mean that this money doesn't just come out of thin air. I mean I've had to pay for everything that's wrong with me I got to pay all my stuff out of pocket I don't get help with nothing. So the whole I'm torn apart because I'm getting everything paid for by the state and because they don't want to let me get married I'm upset about that? I don't understand that at all. Marriage ain't nothing but a piece of paper. You can be calm and love Mary and get around that. I don't see why jeopardizing your living situation and your health care is worth getting married to somebody that you might not even end up staying with for the rest of your life. I wouldn't do it if I had disability and I was getting paid. To me that's just crazy. I know how much Healthcare and stuff costs I know because I'm covering everything myself without insurance. And she's whining because the state is covering every single thing that's wrong with her and they're cutting her in SSI check and she's mad cuz she can't get married? That is so bizarre to me. I don't understand their relationship either. How do you go from wanting a relationship with a normal person to go in and being somebody you've never met their full-time caregiver? You can never have sex with them you can never be intimate you can never go out together you can never have fun together in a normal way. The whole thing is just bizarre. I'm going to bet he doesn't have a job. And he's with her because she gets a check and it's a comfortable squishy situation. But if he does work and he wants to marry her you still can have the insurance and you still get a check you just don't get as much. And you shouldn't cuz your spouse needs to help with some of that that's the whole thing on getting married. You are no longer the state's problem now you are your husband's problem, we can help you out but we ain't going to cover it all anymore. Sorry what the big deal is? Be common law married and still get the money or the actual married and get a job and help her pay for it

[@jetziiophelia9757]

People who live with disabilities are treated horribly in too many ways and it is infuriating.!

[@chuckgates1171]

Like 2nd class people.

[@Sims2bat1105]

@@chuckgates1171 more like 3rd

[@geomcc39]

Write Biden and ask when they are going to stop this BS ! I suffer from a spine disease and deal with mental physical pain every day ! I have a hard time with finding anyone willing to hire me because the meds and thanks to the many idiots that file lawsuit over little back problem thanks to the scammers have hurt people like me twice ! also if you make one dollar over there limit by, by medical no win

[@triciac.5078]

I saw this happen to my cousin. Her boyfriend also is disabled with a full time care giver required, while she requires a part time care giver. If they get married, they would lose all their care giver. Makes no sense.

[@maartent9697]

Makes sense, why? Because it's called Socialism and Americans are spoon fed to hate that word. My parents are the same but from Europe, got married and still were able to keep their social security.

[@nikoo9414]

It thought that your husband or wife becomes the care giver, thats the logic behind.

[@unboxedcharacter]

@@maartent9697 Social Security, Medicare, Medicaid, and the Children's Health Insurance Program are prominent social programs tho 🤷‍♂️

[@triciac.5078]

@@nikoo9414 how can someone who requires a full time care giver become a care giver? They’re both disabled physically, both in wheelchairs. How in the world can she lift him out of his chair when she’s in one herself? And even if one of them was physically able, why should getting married mean that they have to give up their care givers? Older people who have life care don’t need to get divorced to get care.

[@maartent9697]

@@unboxedcharacter Why don't you have social security laws to counter the examples in the vid, also when someone gets fired in the U.S they're mostly left to fend to wolves right? No welfare payments and government institutions that help you get back to work asap I have to agree the programs like Medicaid are great and should be pursued more, but what stops the next president from cancelling it? Since the GOP is believing more and more in Christ, whats stopping them from telling you to just pray the cancer away

[@goodcommunitylife]

I am disabled myself, and it is very sad and pathetic that the American government wants people with disabilities to live in poverty and not live like everybody else!

[@yahiiia9269]

This is the natural consequence of making people valuable for what economic gains they provide. A disabled person is worthless, a poor person is worthless, a chronically ill person is worthless, the only people having any say are the elite. Your people chose this because they hate you and love the world.

[@harryoncrack9231]

i don't known if it's rude to ask this, i am not from America, but isn't it good enough that the government is giving aid for the disabled?

[@deaddegenerategeneration7441]

@@harryoncrack9231 why should getting married or living with someone else warrant them stopping that?

[@dapivimu]

I’m sorry but disabled people need to understand that in the real world, they would be the weakest and the ones to die very soon. That would eliminate them and leave the strong ones to survive. Also, they ARE an expense that us taxpayers have to cover for their services. They need to understand they’re already getting a second chance at life. I believe whatever services they are given, come from donations from people that actually want to give. Sorry if this sounded harsh.

[@unwavering_sightseer7818]

I have to quit my job to qualify for disability to attend school. If I leave my job, my standards of living will drop significantly, and I wouldn't be able to pay for school. I work for myself but would like to expand my capabilities to perform in a greater capacity. I want a degree in accounting. But until then, I will continue saving, so I can finally go to school.

[@FruityVeggieHead]

Wild to me how many people in the comments think disabled people haven’t thought of just living together instead of getting legally married. Newsflash people, that’s also grounds to lose your benefits

[@user-wn7jc8bt9g]

Common law marriage?

[@Mr.E419]

This is exactly what happened to my wife as soon as we got married. She suffers from debilitating epilepsy. As her husband I make a "decent" living as an auto mechanic. As soon as we got married, she was stripped of her Medicaid. So now being a 1 income home, we are forced to live paycheck to paycheck in a country rocked by inflation since COVID. Add to that a high deductible health insurance that cost about $500 a month and barely covers anything. We have to spend $10,000 before coverage kicks (each year). This country is BEYOND FUCKED! That's why the middle class is being squeezed out of existence. Most days I feel disgusted to be an American and like most Americans I have zero faith in our political system.

[@maxu4958]

Can I ask why you got married then? Why not just get married without the legal stuff.

[@Mr.E419]

@@maxu4958 sure Max. We didn't get married because of money or legality, we got married because it's an important part of our faith. Honoring the Lord is more important in our eyes that a # in a bank account. But also on the legal side, with her health there are many decisions that I couldnt make for her should she be in a situation where she cant make for herself if had we not been married. There were times she'd be in the hospital and I couldn't see her because I "technically " wasn't considered her family until she became my wife.

[@maxu4958]

@@Mr.E419 understandable, I guess the pros are better than the cons for you. Glad to hear you'll be able to be there for her during hard times

[@Mr.E419]

@@maxu4958 appreciate your comment Max🤝🏻😉

[@sebastianconstantin5176]

@@Mr.E419 so you cant do just the religious ceremony and dont do no papers?? you honor god and have the medicaid.

[@itspsychi]

Getting married as a disabled person is such a huge risk! You are no longer able to get gov help and then you are financial trapped with a partner.. That can be DANGEROUS with some marriages. Laws need to change. Thanks for making this video Vice.

[@tagorganics8805]

True.

[@aadilmalik3426]

Not true

[@fairymairah]

and yet. the Government can be Dangerous too. what's the difference ?

[@geomcc39]

Biden said He was going to do away with this ! May be trump will do it ! I'm disabled and I lived a lot better when Trump was in office . But like idiot, I voted for Biden and dems little covid scare

[@BigBeansly]

I'm disabled as well as my husband. He almost lost his foot to infection and was allowed no weight bearing while undergoing skin grafts and limb saving treatments which lasted 10 months. I have an autoimmune condition that many days makes it difficult or impossible to shower, brush my hair, prepare meals, shop, etc. I had to take him 3x week for treatments, 1-1/2 hour round trip, appointments sometimes lasted a couple hours, had to get his wheelchair in and out of our vehicle as well as push the wheelchair. Had to administer IV antibiotics, 2x day. MY responsibilities were tremendous, even for an able bodied person. But because I could drive, he didn't qualify for part time assistance even though it was temporary. I was healthy and worked until I was 40, my husband did even longer and was self-employed when he got injured. We wiped out our savings and retirement funds mostly on uncovered medical expenses. Listen, I'm grateful for what we do receive and at the same time struggle with what we don't. Most people assume we're lazy, unmotivated, scamming the gov't of tax payers' hard earned money and lovin' it up. Far from the truth. I get that there are people who scam the gov't, but they are few. Those who need extra help are the one penalized. So, people don't get married so they can keep their benefits. Is it saving the gov't money? No. So if those same people get married but lose no benefits, is it costing the gov't any more than if they weren't married? No. So how can anyone dismiss a disabled person's right to get married as "just a piece of paper?" That piece of paper is a certificate if equality. Either you have the same rights as others or you don't. That piece of paper is the evidence.

[@user-yg5zn8bj5y]

Am from india

[@gothnate]

This is the very reason my sister moved out of the house at 18 years old. She has cerebral palsy and was already independent, but the topping on the cake was she could lose her measly benefits if she ever got married or lived with our parents. And by measly, I mean for the majority of her life, she was getting about $500 per month to pay bills. They finally upped it a few years ago to $700 per month. Even through all that, she managed to buy property and a mobile home, but she can't sell it or those benefits get taken. The disabled have been getting the shaft for centuries now. My sister got held back in elementary school because they thought her physical handicap meant she was dumb, too. I hope one day, she'll be treated like an actual citizen, though given the track record, she might not live to see it. She's going to be 53 years old in February.

[@captebbtide]

This country's societal assumptions are: If you"ve got a crippled body, then you've got a crippled mind! Talk real loud and slowly, 'cuz we're retarded, deaf and blind!

[@ACrownofFlowers]

I'm about to turn 25 and I was also held back for two years for the same reason. My heart goes out to you and your sister.

[@sherirobinson6867]

As a disabled person in America I can verify the system is set up to fail the disabled American. They would sooner see us die from lack of housing and medication then let us prosper into a semblance of normal life. I don't know how many people in America can afford to live under less than $900 each month unless they live in a tent under a bridge. I am at 60 years old and cannot sleep on the ground at my age or disability. To lose my medical coverage would mean to die. This leaves me stuck in a substandard way of life to the American Norm.

[@Shewolfen]

this. I really think they are trying to kill us off

[@geomcc39]

Write Biden !

[@dawnmorning]

Being disabled hard enough. Let us marry.

[@myCOCKisHARD]

THEY CAN GET MARRIED NOONE IS STOPPING THEM

[@dawnmorning]

@@myCOCKisHARD Loosing my state insurance is a death sentence for me if I was to marry.

[@sendthis9480]

@@myCOCKisHARD Did you not watch the video? Do you even know what’s going on?

[@myCOCKisHARD]

@@sendthis9480 OF COURSE I DIDNT WATCH IT SHEESH

[@myCOCKisHARD]

@@dawnmorning Loosing?

[@Subfightr]

Ugh. :( I had ulcerative colitis and constant migraines, making me super unreliable. No one understood because one look at me and I am .. was, clearly very strong and capable. I've been with my girlfriend for 24 years now, since we were 14. Everyone always asking "Jesus dude when you gonna get married?" The way society looks at you when you've been together for that long and still not married. I felt terrible for her. I never married her because I loved her. I knew as things got worse and worse we would just be in CONSTANT medical debit I knew the day would come when the medications wouldn't cut it and I'd lose my large intestine. I lost my entire large intestine almost 1 full year spent in hospital. 9 surgeries later and I'm still not finished, I'll never be finished, it's always something. I'm lucky that medicare covers this at all. But I feel terrible for my girlfriend. To even call her my girlfriend seems like it implies she's not as special since she's not my wife.

[@mjjjermaine]

Thank you for sharing your perspective. It’s really heartbreaking seeing this video and your story. As a collective we need to fight for more rigorous rights for disabled citizens

[@susancarlson4293]

I struggle with chronic migraines as well and have been for a little over 25 years now, when I was younger people would tell me that I was too young to be on disability and that they couldn't have been that bad, there are still people today that don't fully understand how debilitating and how thieving migraines can be, I will never understand why it is so difficult for those that truly need just a little bit of help I never able to acquire it

[@TheJulithegreat]

I think she'd be considered a "common law wife"

[@Subfightr]

@@TheJulithegreat and thus we be considered married and I lose my healthcare/disability and become even more of a burden to her? I think I may off myself if that's the case.

[@Subfightr]

@@susancarlson4293 "have you tried Tylenol or Advil" will be on our graves. I'm so sorry for your migraines. Every time I have a full blown migraine I can't help but be amazed at how much pain it's possible to have without passing out or having your head suddenly explode. Every time I think, ok I've been here countless times, and it's always gone away eventually, maybe it took days but it was "JUST A MIGRAINE" my head's not actually gonna explode. And yet, with each new migraine I'm like "this is the worst one ever!" How old were you when you first started to get migraines?

[@cr4ckp1dgeon]

Love how they set the income limits to where you can be homeless and also make too much money for support. They also fail to consider the cruelty of telling someone "Well, because you make $1500 a month, you get to pay thousands of dollars for healthcare on top of your $1200 rent"

[@genossinwaabooz4373]

Yup. Homeless and realizing now with my disability it's more traps upon the traps we've been trying to avoid. The Purpose of a System is What it Does! POSIWID

[@sharkbait6851]

100% agreed!!! Was homeless and worked at a grocery store when obama care was still new. AT end of year, while filing taxes, I was asked to fill out a form to see if I qualified for it. Mind you, I made $70/week at the time. Was sleeping in the woods next to the job. Yet I still apparently made too much to qualify for it. That's when I realized the government is a scam through and through. How does $70/week equal too much pay for any kind of help?!?!? I could barely eat during that time. If it wasn't for working at a grocery store and the deli workers looking out for me, I would have starved to death that year. I owe them my life!

[@louib716]

Yeah you either have to be lower than rock bottom or have a bunch of kids to get any help.

[@Shewolfen]

@@louib716 and if you have a bunch of kids then you are seen as fleesing the system. and you are also not allowed to marry the father or have them live with you and help with the children.

[@Cruznick06]

Yup! They can also come into your house and appraise your belongings and deny you benefits for GASP the audacity of having some nice things. I have a friend who's mom legally owns everything in her apartment aside from her bed. Its the only way she can safely have an OK standard of living and not risk loosing the benefits she desperately needs.

[@eleanor5897]

As a disabled person I THANK YOU for this!!

[@geomcc39]

I'm also disabled and have worked part time in the past then I lost everything medical is a must !, because if you make one dollar over there limit you lose everything ! and you can't live today with two people working full time !!

[@ComradeCatpurrnicus]

It's really heartbreaking the way people with different needs are treated in society. Instead of seeing them as people with goals, passions, talents and worth, they're often treated as burdens with little to nothing of offer. We'll be a better world when we make our societies accepting, welcoming and accommodating for everyone.

[@Shewolfen]

exactly!!

[@ritamariekelley4077]

We Americans, red & blue, have to unite to fight for Medicare For All. You two are a power couple. Congratulations on your JD! And by now, you'll have passed the bar. You go, Girl!

[@itsjeninMass]

That said, good luck with your Bar exam, and we all need to keep fighting the good fight! You seem like a really sweet couple, and you deserve all the good things!

[@mildredmelusine6970]

In Canada I was a single mother who received bursaries for university. I’m studying to be a social worker because my first marriage was abusive leading me to flee for my life, and I want to help people like me. However when I fell in love and was living with my new partner I lost all my benefits. Essentially I was forced to rely on him to pay all my expenses and tuition. It means that I have no money to leave if I needed to, and I owe him more money than I can hope to pay back for many many years. I couldn’t get normal loans from a bank because I was poor. I’m also autistic but went undiagnosed for most of my life and I struggle to manage part time classes and I can’t even think about working at the same time. It’s scary because if this new partner ever became abusive I’d be just as trapped as I was the first time, maybe even more now that I owe so much money to him and the government for my education and living expenses.

[@jaisonmarikunu]

Don't worry comrade 🌷

[@rogerlambert9316]

Even the Canadian government can penalize disabled persons for wanting to spend the rest of their life with their significant other? Boycott Canada!

[@andresceballos2702]

Add this to the stockpile of issues our greedy healthcare system causes. Absolutely insane that the only way some people can afford their medications, health procedures, equipment, etc. Is through health insurance that relies on you being dirt poor your entire life. Good forbid you increase your income or get married. Because, all of the sudden those few thousand dollars should surely cover the tens and hundreds of thousands of dollars you'll lose out in healthcare coverage.

[@nataliemanzo34]

I’m married to a disabled women and we got screwed by the system just for getting married.

[@rogerlambert9316]

Get married spiritually, not legally.

[@arrangingstarsx]

@@rogerlambert9316 This doesn't work for every situation. I'm disabled from birth, I have the same disease (SMA) the girl has from the video, and I'm a US citizen but the person I fell in love with is from Scotland and we've been dating for 4 1/2 years. I can't "spiritually" marry someone from another country. I need to legally marry them, so that we can be together. I get what you're trying to say but that's still not TRUE equality for people with serious life-long disabilities who just want to love and be loved.

[@shekorez102]

I also have psychological problems. Can I get a girl someday? 😢😢😢

[@ryanfry390]

The American government is screwed on so many levels, this breaks my heart

[@joemacy2776]

As an autistic adult, I can relate to this. I desire love just as much as everyone else does. While I don't have any impairments in my ability to get around, that doesn't mean that autism isn't a disability. I will be graduating with a BS in mathematics next month, so I am hoping I can get off disability at some point. That being said, whether or not I will be capable of working full time has yet to be seen. I feel like a lot of life for me is just trying to live the best life I can despite my disability.

[@joltjolt5060]

You can do it, look for schools teaching high level autists.

[@Novelist1029]

Let’s just keep it real, people are punished in America for being poor.

[@cc-dtv]

Seeing these two happy together, this brightened my day.

[@cupcakes7015]

Likewise 11/12/2022

[@tez800]

Same

[@geomcc39]

Write Biden and tell him to stop this BS !

[@itsjeninMass]

Please make sure that these videos are fully captioned, rather than using auto captions. Some disabled people deaf.

[@ManishKumar-sr8zh]

disrespecting disabled people is disrespecting humanity

[@aresef]

My girlfriend is disabled but doesn’t use SSI or anything. I can’t imagine being in a position where we had to choose between marriage and benefits.

[@shadowsoul121]

This is one reason I'm afraid to even apply. I'm terrified of depending on that income just to have it ripped away or worse forced to somehow pay it back. Then there's the stigma attached of being as an undeserving leech on society...

[@miahdavis8331]

I’m glad y’all did this story. As someone on disability,and marriage might be on the horizon. I had no idea about this law.

[@geomcc39]

Don't do it you will lose everything !! I suffer from a very Painful spine disease. my soon to be ex-wife and I are now divorcing to keep my Medical ! I have worked part time in the past, but No one wan't someone with a spine are back problem that on meds to much of a risk for them! thanks to all the lawsuits for back injury's !

[@zackery72]

Say with me “universal healthcare”

[@joltjolt5060]

Say with me Canada's free Healthcare kills people when they're too financially burdensome, oh I mean "depressed".

[@drewc981]

This is what happens in Canada too. If you're disabled and get married you lose most if not all income and government funded health support like caregivers etc.

[@ChrissyMarshall_]

I just read the title and jumped, FINALLY a larger journalism company covering this!

[@Sailorsahoyart]

I know a couple that's been together for almost 20 years and both are on disability, but they cannot get married they cant even say they're husband and wife in a symbolic way. It breaks my heart, i'm glad this issue is getting more viral attention thanks vice

[@chuckgates1171]

Gov will cut a % of the $.

[@Sailorsahoyart]

@@chuckgates1171 they cant even have more than $2000 in savings without getting in trouble

[@krakenhawkstratdude204]

This is why I subscribe to Vice News. I never knew this rule existed. We need to spread word of this ridiculous rule so that proper changes can be made on behalf of our disabled friends.

[@MaryJane-lx5to]

You’re sounding like an activists? Are you one ?

[@DarkEntries]

I've been with my partner for 10yrs. I've been disabled for 3 of those years. We haven't married because of this. Not only did disability take away my chance of having kids it took away my ability to even marry

[@geomcc39]

Write Biden to stop this BS !

[@tre.jluster2574]

This is a really interesting issue. I appreciate Vice for doing stories like this. Mainstream media would never cover this story.

[@Roughneck8]

people would be horrified if they knew how little agencies train caregivers, don't give supplies like gloves or a first aid kit, the type of people that are allowed to become caregivers just because they have a clean record and agencies are desperate... the scary lax way training has been swept under the rug during COVID, not even going in to do the class, literally just a 2 minute phone call to get you refreshed on HIPAA, Elder Abuse, etc...even getting CPR/First Aid certified in that same call. ...the fact someone can do this work for over 10 years without a blemish and still only makes $10.00/hour... the fact that they restrict your hours to at most 35/week so you can't draw benefits... and you can never get in touch with the ladies in the office, they're always on vacation!

[@Catlily5]

Most of my caregivers have been in jail. They get paid less than $10 per hour.

[@crazyhandgrows6432]

I'm glad you guys found each other. I feel the same way when she mentioned she didn't want to be a burden, which is why I've never had much luck with dating. Thanks for sharing you story. I'm thankful I'm still able to walk and have adjusted to the issues with my hands. It's tough out there.

[@lorichaudhry7290]

Keep your heart open. There is someone out there that is lovely and lonely and has the same dreams. Probably loads. Keep your communication open and go find your love. YOU DESERVE IT! You’re amazing! 🫵🏻💛👍🏻

[@joylox]

People who believe "we already have marriage equality" should watch this, because so many people are affected by this in more ways than one would think.

[@sciencehistoryandentertain734]

Unless your marrying someone who is making million+ there should be no penalty for getting married...Or living with a partner.

[@elexis3728]

I have been with my fiancé for about 20 years. He has a state job and I am on disability because of an car accident that damaged my spinal cord causing me to be paralyzed. He has insurance with his job that he pays for out of each check. Each Dr visit and prescription has a reasonable copay. Thankfully he doesn’t have many health issues. If we get married I would have to be put on his insurance and the cost would triple. Not to mention the cost of 5-6 prescription’s every month and specialty Dr.’s. That’s just for a normal month! The fear of what is to come in the future for me with my injury on top of aging with this kind of injury keeps me from legally getting married. I was the typical little girl picturing the Cinderella wedding dress when I was growing up. When I had my wreck at only 19 years old I honestly didn’t know what kind of romantic relationship I would be able to have or if I would even have one in the future. It would have been nice to be able to officially “tie the knot” and celebrate having love and dedication to one another but like with a lot of things throughout our relationship, we figured out our own way of going about things.

[@mutantsupremacies]

I think it would have been great to include something about the Disability Act that is either in the process of being put out there or perhaps has been rejected already. It didn’t just include benefits for marriage, but allowing disabled people to save more money than they are allowed. I am disabled and I will never be able to be married unless this changes

[@slothgirl2107]

I’m disabled myself and I’m on SSI but fortunately my family helps me a lot financially and with everything else. Videos like this truly open my eyes to how unfairly disabled people are treated. You go be a lawyer and disability’s advocate and kick some ass!!

[@geomcc39]

its suck for people that are disabled ! Getting work is hard when your on meds and have spin disease like me. to many people will not risk it and hire you ! so they come up with a million reasons not to hire you. My family member did not believe me, then he was put on the spot when he was hiring and I ask him to hire me. we now no longer speak !!

[@LS-im5ki]

The laws are written to condemn us as disabled people to poverty and punish us for basic life experiences.

[@tylerhackner9731]

Standing up for my fellow disableds

[@NEWBOTANICA]

@@whateverwhatever4026 corny

[@NEWBOTANICA]

@@whateverwhatever4026 cornball.

[@NEWBOTANICA]

@@whateverwhatever4026 so corny.

[@FLYGUYtoys]

What a disgusting world we live in. Thank you Vice news for the work you do, and for showing these fabulous, inspiring people and stories.

[@AS-xi9df]

It's not the world its the people in it.

[@FLYGUYtoys]

@@AS-xi9df you are right.

[@nicolerenfro5085]

I'm so glad somebody finally covered this! You shouldn't have to suffer financially when your disabled because you get married.

[@amusedBYfools]

Even single, were unable to earn a decent wage and keep our benefits.

[@denisemorgan8883]

I know it isn't easy to be an advocate and I'm so glad you are speaking out. You have always been a fighter. I have so much love and admiration for you, Gab. You and Juan are only asking for what most take for granted. I'm so disgusted that laws are made that are so unfair and unless they affect law makers or their families directly nothing changes. We need to step up and help make the marriage laws equal. You shouldn't have to risk dying just to be married. You are going to change the world. A lawyer that everyone can respect. Let us know, how can we help in the fight for equality? ❤️

[@TheDenizxo]

That mom is so special. She does such undeserving work just for the love as parent and a mother who loves her child. She really is amazing. And ontop stigma against others like this is so unnecessary

[@justincortez3486]

Vice really going hard on how fucked up the U.S. truly is, I love it.

[@lawerancelanham]

Families really don't care. They don't want any burden put on them. They don't want to be brought down by someone else's challenges. I've heard that at times, "ain't you got family?". Ha, no... my family evidently isn't as grand as yours. This marriage restriction, because it is.... is nothing but a curse put on people with challenges by those who have NONE. Same thing goes for the ONE vehicle only rule. There to make it 10x more difficult when something happens to what you "might have".

[@PrinceChris93]

SSI won't even let you work if you make more then around 1300 a month but most people hardly get by with just SSI or SSDI alone not to mention most people who work need their disability since they get sick often through out their time working

[@Nina_Sophia]

I know a disabled couple in their late 50s who wanted to get married, but instead had a "commitment ceremony", because they would lose their benefits if they got legally married. Its ridiculous and should not be this way.

[@ollieliddell3868]

In the UK I lost my benefits when I moved in with my partner. Luckily he has an okay income and is very supportive but this policy is not only harmful to disabled people but has also been proven to make it more difficult for people to escape domestic abuse

[@fefemyluv]

It’s heartbreaking. It truly is. It’s like a punishment for something we cannot correct or help. Not only are we punished for marrying but working as well. I am an attorney with a disability too, and it’s like I work to cover my healthcare costs, alone. But I keep my faith in God and I am working on doing my part in my state to change some of these laws. I pray for her wellness and a successful career, marriage, and journey for change.

[@Harleywayne]

I’ve been fighting with SSA for the past 13 years. To say to my husband, we need to think about getting divorced, all because the government says that his income is responsible for both of us is insane. So when I got injured and couldn’t work anymore he made too much money for us to receive the money I had worked and paid into the system for times such as the ones I was going through. Makes me feel like less than to not be able to contribute to my family during those tough times. We all go through things it’s just sad to watch the system set up to distribute the money we worked hard for to use in case of emergencies…monies which they automatically took out of our paychecks, fight so hard to not return what we worked for and then shift the responsibility of to the person we say I do to. Ugh!

[@eamonnprunty]

Another problem that could be solved by universal/single payer healthcare

[@brittenyevans1101]

I’m so proud of her , for continuing to go to law school. Regardless, of the challenges. the disability laws in America have been a problem for decades.

[@sonny5068]

These two seem like kind souls.

[@elphieglindie3285]

I’m in exactly the same situation. We just will never be legally married unless things change. And my family would never “take care of me” like people think. They abused me and made me live a very second rate and burdened life. Indebted to them because I’m “broken”. Even though I’m not. 😂

[@davidcoen9021]

YES! VISIBILITY! Disabled people are here, disabled people fall in love, disabled people get married and SHOULD get married and should not be penalised for doing so!

[@menace1285]

i work as a caregiver in southern germany for a person with "Duchenne muscular atrophy" the money to pay me for it comes from the persons health insurance wich is paid for by the local government. Seeing documerntaries about the situation some people are in in the US makes me really sad tbh. (soryy for the spelling english isnt my first language)

[@dlight9849]

I sympathize with them because I'm in St. Louis County as well, and disabled, and Missouri *SUCKS* when it comes to disability assistance.

[@happyascheese]

As a fellow Missourian with a disability, I agree.

[@noah-jamesmarkham1903]

I will keep on fighting for people like me with disabilities

[@jumpywizard7665]

When I moved to France, I was shocked to see so many disabled people participate actively in society. I have hard of hearing and blind classmates whereas I have never anyone blind in America. There are also a lot of wheelchair users on the street and public transit which I’ve never seen before coming too. I realized that disabled people are not as rare as I thought but that in America they’re incentivized to not participate in society.

[@mannygutierrez7654]

This woman is an inspiration to people everywhere, what an incredible story

[@ezekieloleander]

Thank you! I'm disabled. I have autism, bipolar type 1, CPTSD, and fibromyalgia. Possibly even a brain injury. I live off benefits like SSI and medicaid. I love that VICE decided to bring attention to this topic. If I ever find the right person, we deserve the option to marry like anyone else. Disabled people deserve to have a love life too.

[@streetinscotland1225]

Beautiful couple. Wishing them all the best ❤️💯

[@AurorasJournals]

This is well done and completely accurate

[@j.m.9727]

Her story is so inspiring and so sad at the same time. It's sad to think of all the disabled people in history who were written off, thrown away by society, and had brilliant thoughts to offer the world. If she's in law school, that means she's very intelligent. Just a few years ago, or even still today, had she been born to the wrong parents, she could've been placed in an asylum or foster care and left behind to rot, where no one would ever be aware of what she was capable of.

[@j.m.9727]

Laws for disabled people are not written by disabled people, just like laws for women aren't written by women, laws for poor people aren't written by poor people, and laws for immigrants aren't written by immigrants. These laws do not adequately protect and serve the people they are intended to protect and serve. Lawmakers need to stop worrying about women getting abortions or kids getting free condoms and focus on creating legislation that will help the people who need it, not legislation that makes people who will never understand comfortable.

[@FMAxel23]

I'm considered disabled but I can't apply for disability because then I can't get married to my fiance. It's either medicine or marriage for most people when it comes to disability and it shouldn't be like that. Despite the fact that the US has come a long way for disability it still has so much more to go.

[@Amber-cd2ze]

It’s so sad to me that healthcare is not seen as a human right in the U.S.

[@mattmagus]

It is insane to me all the inequalities and injustices that pervade almost every facet of society. There is so much wasted potential that could make the world a brighter, better place. Yet we refuse to capitalize on it, shirking our responsibilities to those victimized by our apathy. Each generation we move a little closer to a truly equitable society, but the progress is too slow, especially when we now live our lives faster than ever before. Change doesn't have to be slow, we have to accept that life IS what we make it and it isn't just how it is. WE have the power to change; why wait until tomorrow for it to come? Anyone willing to dedicate their lives to making the world a better place is truly honorable.

[@Shewolfen]

People in power wont allow equality because it is the inequality that gives them their power.

[@Mattnoble80]

They don’t choose their disability so they should be given more insurance and care. They deserve all the aid the government can give regardless

[@NZKiwi87]

I am in New Zealand and I believe we just changed the laws so that family members who take care of disabled family members get paid a fair wage from the government (because they’re doing the job of a carer!). It’s strange how the US is so behind in these things.

[@Shewolfen]

in many states in the US family members are not allowed to be caregivers, they wont pay for it and expect family members to do it for free. there are other similar restrictions.

[@NZKiwi87]

@@Shewolfen I know, and to me as a New Zealander that is really strange and cruel.

[@Love2Zooom]

I have high functioning autism and un/fortunately my disability is based off my past income. Therefore if I got married, my income would stay the same. Unfortunately I only have Medicare and not Medicaid so the services that I so desperately need aren’t available to me. I have been mired in a deep depression for over a decade and see no end in sight. The whole mental health / developmental disability system needs a complete overhaul. I fall through the cracks because of my income and my disability. I can drive through Manhattan traffic during rush hour, but I can’t take care of myself and plan my day. My executive functioning stinks.

[@juvenileloki3auz]

Your punished if you do get married and punished if you dont get married. Make it make sense.

[@HairyKnees1]

I know someone who is disabled and can’t get married or will lose the help. This person also told me that they cannot receive any inheritance when their parents pass or they’ll lose disability benefits & have to pay money back. But guess what- their lawyer said if assets go through probate this person cannot refuse them. Terrible! Talk to a lawyer, I’m definitely not one! Anyway, there are loads of problems with the system that make things harder for those who need it and punish them for engaging in the normal societal actions. This needs to change! I do hope she can help this by going through law school and becoming a force for change.

[@cielonehellofaservicedog4648]

That isn't true, their parents need to place real property in a living trust. Then liquid assets, like cash, should be placed inside a disabled child/person's savings account. There is specific accounts and legal entities that need be set up.

[@AbelSesmas]

I have a disability as well. The government needs to change the law about disabilities so other people can get married if they want to because some of us don’t want to be single forever.

[@pot_calls-the_kettle_bong]

Human is human. Someone who has a disability is still human. Dignity and love are not human elements that can be governed.

[@SaltLevelsMax]

These are two wonderful people and they deserve better from the government

[@blueman1470]

Nobody does stories like this! Thank you vice from the bottom of my heart.

[@chad5893]

This is bonkers and not fair.

[@st4rryblossom]

thats insane.. so sad. this definitely needs more awareness

[@lhproductions61]

You can even be punished for not being “disabled enough” I used to be able to work now I can’t and the hoops I’ve got to jump through are ridiculous

[@jessicar3291]

If you were diagnosed before 26, you can apply for an ABLE account to save more!!! Please spread this information

[@Melissa0774]

I wonder if she's taking Spinraza. It's a brand new medication for SMA, that basically stops the progression of the disease. It was just approved by the FDA like two years ago. But it's expensive as hell and people have a hard time getting their insurance to cover it sometimes. When they give it to a baby born with SMA, it basically stops it before it starts, so they hopefully won't grow up to be physically disabled, or at least won't be disabled as badly. People with the condition start out being able to move pretty much normally as a baby and gradually lose more and more movement as they get older.

[@johndelagarza361]

The system should be reformed to make marriage the more viable choice.

[@naga2583]

100% disabled combat Vet here. It's been weird trying to get help times when I can't cope just by myself and honestly need help. I'm very well spoken and intelligent but then some people who are supposed to be caring for me will treat me like less than dirt because I'm an alcoholic,......And super jumpy and on edge, hyper-aware and hyper-vigilant, etc. Yeah, I got wounds a few times, mostly undocumented, and have a disabled dominant arm, but most of that 100% is mental ptsd stuff. Sort of just starting to stand up and be indignant when I get treated badly. Many people know that VAs can be absolute hell holes......And people will usually ask me why I even go there......And they're kinda right. But there are still many people that work at them that care and want to help. It's so hard dealing with someone who doesn't understand and they'll look at me and be like psh, yeah, right. I don't even look like someone who Served, let alone was an oddball SAW Gunner CLS among many other jobs......One of the many reasons I demand respect nowadays. Spent years trying to block it all out of my memory, and now, it's like nope, I accept it all and remember. Which was extremely hard but helped me so much. I used to hate even saying I was a combat Vet. Because I fought in a war I heavily disapproved of and am a very explosively violent pacifist. It's weird to be able to say, "why yes, I'm 'legally insane. ' let me tell you a few stories why......"

[@silentnight9655]

OMG, I've never heard of anything like this. Is the US Gov saying that disabled persons only deserve to exist and not live?

[@amanisawari]

Thx to the couple and all the commentors for sharing stories, wish this doc were longer

[@camiatf]

Disabled Canadian. Same thing here. Thank you so much for doing this video.

[@faedraemberhart5500]

Depends where in Canada you live. Its somewhat decent here in Alberta on AISH compared to the US at least

[@JPaterson8942]

My mom wants to work but has the same problem - 30k annually in prescriptions paid for by Medicare, not even counting all her appointments or procedures, and the cutoff for income is like... 1200 a month? It's been a couple years since we seriously looked.

[@karwinchau4684]

This is very humiliating and dehumanizing for many disable Americans and their significant. Our government needs to check themselves. Disable citizens are also fellow Americans and human beings as well.

[@devonbranch1524]

Smh this is horrible why are disabled people treated like this by the law!! Smh they don't care bout nobody unless you rich everyone is human it's not fair we Gota start voting for the rite people

[@sroevukasroevuka]

My wife was disabled we couldnt marry because she would loose her disability benefits she had to fight a long time to get. We lived as a martied couple rings and all. Our martiage wasnt legal but love is stronger than a piece of paper and some outdated rules. I was her caregiver . She died 2 years ago we were married 10 years.