DMPC Jesus RUINS Game of D&D - D&D Horror Story

[@SolrSurfr3]

Every time this story comes up it makes my blood boil. DM is the worst kind of prick and it delights me that his game imploded the second OP left. Serves him right.

[@MattAnd]

What a good Doge - not many would have the patience to wait before eating that sandwich

[@slagarcrue85]

Your oc is so dang cute doge.

[@deadgun1416]

One of the campaigns I played (Which we finished 2 years ago) my 8’5 Lizardfolk barbarian “Bathotryx” went searching for things under water to give a npc that Bathotryx had a crush on. He came upon a metal thing sticking out from the bed of the river, he takes it out and founded a “dead” Warfoge. Bathotryx did knew somethings about technology, especially being born in a almost like Warhammer lizardmen kingdom. Him and the half elf which who was a artificer reactivated it. The Warfoge doesn’t remember much and doesn’t remember their name so Bathotryx named them “Gora” or was it “Gore”? But the Warfoge became a great ally with us.They had to go separate paths as they needed to find who they are. And many sessions later were fighting a noble cult of blood hunters and were weakened, thinking to myself “Were not gonna make it…” but then a huge flying axe brakes through walls and decapitates some of the blood hunters. And you know who walks through that broken down wall? Gora posing like a badass and saved us at pure luck. The reason it was luck that helped us is because that the DM (A good friend of mine) says that he rolled for it and was close to not happening. Which I’ll say was a very awesome moment. Though I wouldn’t say Gora was a DMPC but I’ll say he was a good NPC. Sorry for bad grammar.

[@Kennisaurus]

A half orc barbarian and an amazon would be the ultimate power couple

[@adamthaxton3157]

I'm so glad Brobarian got a happy ending, too. Oof. This story was horrid, and I'm sorry OP had to go through that.

[@Karmasu_L]

They see how bad they have it with her providing a place to play, food, drink and voices for some NPCs. And instead of getting her back they boot her?

[@yumnomik9937]

I think the group knew that OP was looking for approval at the beginning. So there is a chance they were trying to use rejection as a weapon against her. Hoping she would crawl back, ask for forgiveness and pomising to bake them even more pizza than before.

[@starbird3939]

Ah yes, this story. Honestly, DM sounds like he was trying to make OP is new girlfriend/future exwife/future babymama

[@Pater___]

My first actual dnd game had a dmpc. He was an all powerful god, who we all loved and trusted at first (we did not have a choice in the matter) and then when he was revealed to be evil we all hated and felt betrayed (we also did not have a choice in the matter). The story only happened because he was quite literally dragging us around, and the only pc who actually mattered in the story was the dms crush. Literally any of us could’ve dipped and nothing would have changed. We were just canon fodder. When we finally defeated him I assumed the game was over. Until the dm revealed that there was talk of an angel in a far away land in the town we were in and then made us go investigate (we. Had no reason to, we had no choice). I knew I had to quit when he made us roll to sneak past some guards and when me and another player failed he got quiet and then went ‘let’s ignore that you pass’. Not really a nightmare story just a boring one

[@tsifirakiehl4250]

OP clearly has superhuman levels of patience. Too bad it’s working against her here.

[@TBTabby]

Add Alistair to the list of characters who need to be made into villains of better campaigns.

[@kevinchong5424]

The misogyny just drips off of that DM

[@Kintaro316]

You should get that sandwich just for reading all the way through that one.

[@willr6887]

"He had a stench that could peel paint off a tank in space." 😂😂🤣🤣🤣 Oh man, stealing this one. -- Also I had to stop and pause and facedesk when I heard "Alistair, the DMPC paladin". God that's bad DMing.

[@andrwblood9162]

It's called "self inserting", but there's literally nothing relatable between a Neckbeard and the son of a god. Ego inserting or libido inserting seems more fitting.

[@kaibrunsch4684]

"terrible. we had to play at school. we had to behave like we werent the only ones there, we couldnt watch p**n and nobody brought us meals. clearly you, who did all this for us, are a miserable demon who just hates us and for letting us suffer such hardships you deserve to be banned from the very existence..." welp, this person... cant even say anything cause im missing words for that...

[@SapphWolf]

Well, that was disgusting on a number of levels. Like, one of those many bad behaviors on their own would be irritating, but all together is just being a next level asshole. I'd have dropped that group the moment she made pizza for them and they didn't save any for her. Like, that's just fucking rude and terrible guest manners. The passing around porn on top of it moves all of them firmly into the "Not Fucking Welcome!", category. Pressuring OP to change the sex of the character was bad, but forcing them to marry the DMPC or their whole race dies is just fucking blackmail. The statue to his DMPC at the climax of OP's character's arc is just peak asshole behavior.

[@mikem2849]

I usually play DMPCs myself, because I like to DM but I also like to play. I try to keep them in the background so the actual players can shine, usually making them healers or buffers. They don't solve puzzles or give tactical suggestions unless the players are totally stuck; I mostly use them so I can have fun in the roleplay bits instead of just watching. I've never had any complaints about them. My most popular was a cute witch boy named Sue. I originally made him because the party didn't have a dedicated healer, and the Witch class in 3.5 got a spattering of healing, buffing, and blasting spells. If you're wondering about his name, yes, it was a reference to the Johnny Cash song, but also tied into his backstory. He was adopted at a very young age by a wicked sorcerer who never originally gave him a name, usually just calling him Boy. The sorcerer also taught Boy magic, but when he didn't pick it up quite fast enough the sorcerer decided to give him a name to "motivate" him. And it was a girl's name because the sorcerer was a jerk. Some "true name" magic was also involved so Sue couldn't change it even if he wanted to.

[@Dragons4Dummies]

I prefer my strong dmpc's solving other side quests in the background, and ones that the party actually want help from get levelled down and are party controlled during combat/ investigations. I basically am just their mouthpiece and I think that's worked out really well.

[@theofficerfactory2625]

For not caring about us, you're booted! I'm free! I'm free! (gleeful cackling) I'm free!

[@drimwalkr8923]

Manners are something most people seem to lack, but I work in food service, so maybe I just have too many entitled people frequenting my store

[@galacticranger8072]

19:17 that is(what I think) started the campaign falling apart why would you make a statue of some one WHO ISN’T EVEN THERE and how did they even know it was related to him

[@Nesseight]

I'm glad that the talking fox got to eat the sandwich.

[@timothyswanson8773]

67 more, then doge can eat his sandwich. Edit: woohoo! Sandwich time!

[@Antsaboy94]

21:47 _"In my first campaign that is still going,"_ either means your first ever campaign is still going or the campaign is the first of multiple on-going campaigns.

[@isabellamorris7902]

This has nothing to do with anything, but I want the fedora to come back and be reclaimed in a non-cringe way. It has that 2000s nu-metal/electro swing charm that's been ruined by all the incels. It deserves better

[@ChaosCounseling]

First campaign I was ever in my DM had a murder hobo with god like omnipotents that he would use to kill or steal all lawful good characters equipment because lawful characters ruin the fun of being a giant dick.

[@biffwellington6144]

There's a lot of stuff that bugs me in this story, but one that really stands out for me is... Alistair doesn't sound like he was a gnome or a halfling or any other smol race. That makes the logistics of halfling Hilda being prophesied to marry him and bear his children especially unpleasant to consider. I mean... how does he even, you know, fit? In there? And then, on the topic of girls being married off at 14 or younger... yeah, it happened, but it wasn't common. It was typically done by royalty or nobles, to seal an alliance with another family. Sometimes your family needs that alliance right now, but the only kid you have available to seal it is a bit on the young side. Look at the idea from a commoner's point of view. Kids are expensive, and you've made a lot of sacrifices to raise this girl to the age of 12 or so. And then there's the matter of dowry. You can't be expected to raise a girl until she's barely old enough to marry, and then pay more to send her away to another family. No, now that she's reached puberty and can start working hard like an adult, she's gonna start paying you back and help you put together a dowry. Peasant girls usually married somewhere in the 18-23 age range as a result.

[@marybdrake1472]

My friend Dave was my D.M., and he always had really good DMPcs, which was severely helpful considering our group never made quite three in total. And he never even attempted to pull crap like this D.M. did.

[@thechandraraj6415]

Hey, great reading! I'm really glad you had some enjoyment out of that cringe lol.

[@Ginger_bearded_bro_88]

Enjoy your well deserved sandwich oh goodest of doge.

[@AtelierGod]

I’m an really big eater, your sandwich wouldn’t even register with me, but even I wouldn’t eat everything, also because I take my food last.

[@Joe_Diggy]

No way that guy was part of the Yakuza

[@PancakemonsterFO4]

More like a Oxhorn lookalike

[@Thagomizer]

​@@PancakemonsterFO4Oxhorn wears a bowler, not a fedora.

[@mondenkindqueen]

Change your mind? No! You’re just right.

[@thedarkcat7484]

Lmao, DM just wanted a wifey to take care of the party's food and housing needs so they could play warriors. Loser

[@jinglesbejankin7322]

I've played exactly one character with a wife in all my time playing Pathfinder. Which by now is roughly 4-5 years. The character was a Mummy Lord and his wife was a Psychic Vampire. They met initially when captured by the Azlanti for oddball scientific experiments involving undead. Together they escaped and fled to what would be Osirion in modern Pathfinder. It would be there that the Mummy reclaimed his tomb and went into a long sleep with his new wife as his tomb guardian. And by guardian, I mean she was either sleeping in his brain or doing her own thing with turned puppets for tomb protection. Via the "Leadership" feat I was allowed to play both, the Mummy being my character and his wife being a cohort. The Mummy and his wife worshipped the God Nurgal, which would be the first joke I built into his character. His name was Imhotep, which more or less means "He who comes in peace". This is a joke in that he worshipped an Evil deity of constant brutal war, but could not change his name to be more fitting due to changing your name being forbidden in his faith. His wife's name was Hecate. Oh the antics those two love birds got up too. When without his palanquin she would ride around inside his consciousness. If she wanted something done I would ask my GM to instead have her act that turn, using his body as a conduit through which to cast a spell. He could circumvent situations in this way as his wife, treating his body as her own via possession, would cast spiderclimb or some other useful buff. If anything I got more use out of Hecate than Imhotep as she had all the fun spells. Hecate being a Psychic and Imhotep being an Untouchable Bloodrager. It was great fun for a time, Imhotep bullying the weak and Hecate bullying them harder. One with muscle, the other with funny spells.

[@diego2112gaming]

Ya know, I hear sons of god have disadvantage against corpse trees...

[@Casandraelf]

there's a dmpc in my current game that was originally a pc used by the player of my party's sorcerer(he was turned into a party npc due to him being rather annoying to deal with when it came to shit like him being incapacitated because wind elemental). mechanically, he was a monk and he's a himbo. oxy gin is fucking hysterical, though he drives my barbarian, ursula, crazy XD

[@TheHeliKid]

he got to eat the sandwich :DDDDDDDDD

[@DnDDoge]

It was delicious

[@TheHeliKid]

@@DnDDoge good

[@axelwulf6220]

How can you inconveniently forget the gender of a PC? After Character Introductions, and you still get everything wrong, you're just a Bad DM It's really bad when you're forcing your bullshittery on a Player, despite protests

[@mirrortherorrim]

Our DM quite often has DMPCs in his campaigns. But only because he is a forever DM (refuses to play in other people's campaign because of some childhood traums involving another guy taking up his Star Wars campaign and introducing gay Gungan guardians). But his DMPCs are pretty much never OP - the only one that kinda is is a Shadowrun troll samurai who works as the heavy weapons guy in our party. The rest of his DMPCs are various flavours of shy and/or cowardly healers who are the same level as the rest of the party, or abandoned PCs of players who left the campaign. One of his shy healers - a crossdresser elf girl cleric - has become a PC of a new girl, quickly turning from the quietest member of the party into a party face and the trickster of the party.

[@Beargrin89]

I love stories about DMPC’s that actually work. Edit: my brain only just now processed the parentheses. Gay what now!?

[@mirrortherorrim]

@@Beargrin89 gay Gungan guardians. Not gonna elaborate because I don't know the detail.

[@morganmcinroy4211]

The only DMPC I have made so far was a sea elf sorcerer who had 12 HP and could only cast magic missile and heal. Definitely not overpowered, and she is leaving the party permanently soon. I mostly just had her as an emergency healer for the squishy early levels

[@thephantomwolf1002]

Now you can eat the sandwich

[@ChessieFan69]

Yippee you can eat the sandwich now

[@SuperBatSpider]

I used to want a Fedora so I could be Indiana Jones for Halloween but now I don’t want to

[@Destinum]

It always baffles me how adults (who should know better, unlike kids) put up with shit for as long as stories like this one imply they do. I probably would have lasted 1 or 2 sessions in this campaign before noping the fuck out.

[@thechandraraj6415]

Easier said than done, especially with experience. In this case it started great and turned shitty. When that happens you just kinda hope 'this was a bad session. Next one should be better, right?'. Delusional, yeah. But like you don't just turn 18 and have a switch flipped in you. Everyone learns these things at different rates with different circumstances.

[@unluckyone1655]

Oh yeah, that was basically the story of one of my DMs and sortof friend in my gaming group. He started out as a pretty decent DM at first, he allowed anything and the sky was the limit. But one day, he realized that some PCs got a bit OP in his game, and suddenly he was on a crusade to end those characters at the expense of everyone else's enjoyment. And that crusader attitude never let up, he changed rules in the middle of combat and changed stuff around in backstories to make PC lives shitty up to his standards. His games have lost their lustre over time, and now the rest of my group try to avoid playing with him whenever we can. Thank the gods we found other players in our group, we were so about to give up ttrpgs until we were able to safely extract him from our group (more due to irl bull shenanigans than in game stuff just to clarify)

[@Thagomizer]

Yeah, it sounds like something brewed up by a 13-year-old edgelord.

[@rhysofsneezingdragon1758]

Keep swearing the maid on the thumbnail is Belfast, lol

[@tirzahroseroot]

The video has more than 200 likes! Hope the Like Ham Sandwich was delicious!

[@fylimar]

What an all around awful experience. I would have kicked the group out, when tehy started watching porn tbh. Nevermidn eating all the food and don't contribute. And then the horrible things ingame...I think, tehworst was that they made op play their sextoys and the DM forcing her to marry his (really stupid) dmpc.

[@thehauntedtree]

DM was in love with OP and got jealous that she had a date lol

[@falconpv1]

I hope you get your sammich

[@GrievousFrom]

Have you ever met Maya the Husky?

[@jrytacct]

Well, orcs are all evil in my campaigns, too (I have a more Tolkien-like view of orcs and goblins), but I don't condone all the rest of the crap this DM pulled.

[@notoriouswhitemoth]

(... you'd think a yakuza would know that yakuza are the people, not the organizations...)

[@DnDDoge]

Maybe he just thought that playing the Yakuza games from Sega counted.

[@TorsilClimber]

Morning Doge!

[@mrzeta7732]

I'm pretty sure I've heard this story before, don't remember where, I could search, but I'm too lazy

[@RiveroftheWither]

And? One person reading a reddit post doesn't bar anyone else from also reading that reddit post. I thought the internet moved past the 2010 flame wars of "X KZbinr played that game first so you're copying them if you play!"

[@Kierawolf]

a sandwhich for every 200 likes and your at 800 you have 4 sandwhiches doge.

[@michaelautrey6641]

why do people play games with freak shows? the second he starts talking about child brides is the second you pack up and leave.

[@TBTabby]

Because some people haven't yet learned that no D&D is better than bad D&D

[@thegreatcanadianweasel9928]

I find it odd this story kept going after how disrespectful they were at OPs house. Like bringing up porn...at a girl's house... I don't want to victim blame, but hopefully OP learned not to be such a doormat.

[@ancapftw9113]

I could see saying that slavery was lawful, but a lawful good child sex slave? Best I could see him do is go the Shield Hero route and say it's lawful neutral.because he treats the slave well.

[@Thagomizer]

I wonder if he's the sort of person who hates "The Sound of Freedom"?

[@dragowolfraven3806]

I remember this story and it is just as cringe worthy as when Drake read it😫

[@Thagomizer]

I've run games with prominent DMPCs that actually worked. They totally can if you don't think of the game as your DMPC's story, don't take away the players' agency, and let the dice fall where they may. If done well, a DMPC can add depth to the campaign world and uncrease player immersion.

[@DunantheDefender]

Woah... episodes that predate the Like and Comment Kitty? Weird.

[@FriedShrimp04]

While i do enjoy a good RPG horror story, they are kinda frustrating sometimes. At some point these people writing them could prevent most stories from continuing by simply asking themsevles "Am i seriously willing to waste my time with this?"

[@catandrobbyflores]

Why put the saint young men jesus in the thumbnail! That cinnamon roll did nothing wrong!

[@eowynbates9376]

So how was the sandwich?

[@michaelleader633]

Ugh, DM sux. I mean, dmpc I get, I have one that I try so very hard now to keep in an office or married off so he was busy, but the players kept involving him in their plans and he started to become a damn tool. No, DM sux because he manipulated OP and that just stinks. The food situation also seems impolite, I can play from 6pm to 10am on an empty stomach, but when offered wait to see how much I'm offered without complaint. I totally get the lesbian thing as a guy, if I play a girl I don't want sideways glances from straight guys, or unwanted attention from gay ones so designating my character a lesbian generally keeps it all in check. Still, the odd clever lady at the table has either created a male character or another lesbian in a loose attempt to "Hit dat like a meteor" lol. In such situations I am always gracious, taking on a "You better be real slick if you want all of this," or "I'm sorry, I'm a sweet cleric and I've taken a vow of chastity to my evil god of destruction. Can you wait until we're all dead?" XD

[@MrSoul8888]

Hey you said you'd read my story like two months ago

[@dawshee7734]

Title is misleading, it was not just DMPC Jesus. He certainly had a big fucking part in it, but- lord how did OP put up with these guys IRL?

[@AndrewBrownK]

Doge I am doing a very important scientific research paper. In order to complete this project I need to do extensive verification of sources. Can you tell me the source of the thumbnail art for this video?

[@fred_derf]

Doges shouldn't eat people-food, they should eat Doge food. So no like from me...

[@makaibrown1653]

i am the 420th like lmao

[@DnDDoge]

Far out man

[@frederikklotzskov9673]

If you ever read the bible this makes total sense Sex slavery aok atheism and woman with free will is not The "son" of god is a literal marry sue All commanded and condoned by an all powerful all knowing all bigoted god

[@darienschnucker7354]

Your just in swj if you got a Probleme with fantasy society just stay out of the fandom ! You guys already ruined Star wars and Strar track as well as DC and Marvel,and your evenn about to ruin LOTR as well Those your greed really know no bound's ? Tolkien was right about you. You forces of evil can NEVER create only corrupt what had already been made by the forces of good !!!!!!!!